Tuesday, August 31, 2004
I took the Pipster to the dentist yesterday... she needed to have some work done on a tooth that had continued to decay despite a filling. Oh what a lucky girl she is. She loves candy. Poor girl. She rarely gets pop. Good mother. anyways... as usual the Pipster is pissed about going to the dentist... not because she's frightened.. only because it is disrupting her day, doing things that she likes to do.... I realized an intervenion would be required.. because her usual level of acceptance had dropped into negative numbers. I was frightened... I had to act fast... ah food. That is what makes this girls world rock!!! I mentioned that we would go out to her favourite restaurant after the dentist.... well, we would visit "our friends" the bears, (to let the freezing wear off a bit).. then take her out to eat. That brought an immediate smile to her face. Yae for me....I scored on this one. Off we went. .....wait, wait, wait,.... eventually the dentist emerged. He's a good guy... married, no kids yet..way too nice.. very polite... always worried if he's hurting you... he won't have a long life. Anyways... he comes out... "So.... we're done," he begins...."but she wouldn't let me freeze her mouth"....."oh, so what have you been doing in their all this time?" I ask. "We fixed her... he said shaking his head in amazement....it took a bit longer.. because it hurts doing it that way" NO KIDDING !!! I say, then kind of start to laugh... well, whatever, it was her head not mine. With prize in hand, out she comes with a big smile. "Can we go for lunch right now Mama?" she asks... "see I don't have to wait... because my mouth isn't frozen"... she says. My Pipster, my love and amazement.....
Later..... we saw bears... big big big beautiful black bears... and that was yesterday.
Monday, August 30, 2004
I'm putting on the gloves and going in for maintenance......hopefully all the problems will have sorted themselves out in "the wash".
Sunday, August 29, 2004
I will have to go and tell my Mr Soreback that you don't have to be all clean and tidy to have a successful day....I will tell him my success story about being a slash a'er... that'll impress the hell out of him... Mr. Noncomputersoreback man.
Well, it looks like I still haven't found anything to do with my "getting late" Sunday evening.
Sure wish I could watch a little television, I can't start another book yet, it's too soon, my pain from yesterdays final adventure is still too fresh in my head. The flashbacks are still too real and too intense....thoughts from yesterday...... my eyelids toothpicked open, my hands glued to the pages, and that little chant that kept floating through my head the whole time.. "read, read, just keep reading... a little further.. you can do it... just keep reading. Must. Read. Don't. Stop. Read till it hurts. No read further... it hurts a lot now. Must read to make the pain stop". I live my own nightmare. Must go....
Not to be confused with statements which contain the "ow" sound such as: "I owe you a trip to the Carribean", or "How about a nice diamond ring for you", or "How about just the two of us go out?", or... I am certain this is what he meant when I heard the "ow" coming from him... "How about you just quit your job?"
I was later to find out that Mr Cleanandtidy had turned into Mr. Soreback. I do have to admit.. he cleaned and tidied first... good Mr. Soreback.
- One nervous breakdown...thanks Dave
- Relearning the English language... "what the hell is he talking about?"
- I put a bracket slash a bracket into my template.... I'm not really sure why... but Dave is really happy.
- I found a cheering section on my blog... thanks Dave.
- Today is a religious day.... and I got to spend a number of times saying "Cheese and Crackers got all Muddy". Once again, thanks to Dave.
- Learned that you will go crazy if you only eat salad and dinner... with no dessert. Well, no time like the present... time to go have some peach pie. Can't have a crazy woman writing blogs. Thanks Dave.
Today I will wear a crown with lots of jewels.
Saturday, August 28, 2004
I believe I am suffering from an acute onset of "DEBLOG". This happens when you don't write for almost two days......OMG!
Thursday, August 26, 2004
People would have been perfectly petrified to have made my acquaintance. "Why is there a deman at that desktop".. they would have asked. "How come you let people with one eyebrow and they hiss work here?"
I'm all better now. The gum surgery I had was a success... it was the temporary personality transplant that was the real issue. I know that... because I looked in the mirror.. yesterday, and saw myself for the first time in a week.
I am supposed to be at work tomorrow, I wont be going tomorrow either..... I wonder what my reason for that will be ... next week, when I get around to thinking about it.
I have been thinking about you.
How are your chicklets?
Tell me how old they are? Age upon return of this email?
What they are doing?
Any new pets?
How is your new home?
How are you?
How is your Mr. Husband?
How is his new job?
How are you settling in?
What did you do with your yard this year?
Any good books titles you can pass along?
How many miles have you ran?... don't include children!!
How about your first summer their.. how has that been?
Forgive my failing memory.. but where did you find a job again???
And that's a wrap...!
About me.. fine. About kids... fine, funny. About husband, fine, quiet. About dogs, fine, furry. About life, fine, fun. About school supples, done. About my bank account, none. HA! Look forward to hearing from you.
I wonder if Ishould have sent this formatted?
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Now I need to begin organizing my group that starts up again in September.....The questions that hits me now:
Well, must go to the Dr Dentist guy who will eat $1200.00 of my dollars to have moved two pieces of my gum from the roof of my mouth to the lower left part where my incisor is.... well... I must hurry to that appointment. I guess I will drive fast.... anything to get me away from the idiot dogs....
I am too cold to type. Way, way to cold.
As far as I knew we (as in BC) were allowed to have another 26 days of summer
... CAN YOU WEATHERMAKERS OUT THERE HEAR THAT !!!!
To me that would mean, that I would be allowed to be warm for another 26 days. Not a Freakin-friday-frozen-ready-to-bark-in-5 -minutes-instant-mother!
I am so cold that I have no feelings.... the girl woke up and as usual she comes to hug me... I steal her little blanket, hug her....."uuuuhhh....your squishin me...".... she says "No I'm not, I'm trying to steal your heat"....I answer. I'm seizing up just sitting here...must....find.....warmth....
Tuesday, August 24, 2004
The day is changing as quickly as the rain is falling right now... the very busy nephew children that were coming over here, and then not and then were, and then weren't and now are again but for a shortened amount of time will be arriving at 12:15. The Pipster who was destined to be stationary will now be leaving the station at 12:50 with our friend and their first born snickadoodle daughter and her friend, her return time will be approximately 16:15. At that same time the snickadoodle son will make his way over to the station for an afternoon of playing with the very busy nephews and being comsumed by Playstation by my Supertalkingplaystationaddicted son. The Sis will be arriving back at the station at an determined time due to congestion at the homestead where we grew up. The snickadoodle son will depart to his homeland once the Pipster has made it back with the snickadoodle daughter. This should all be enough time for the conductor to have made it through the first bar of sentimental journey.....
Monday, August 23, 2004
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Saturday, August 21, 2004
It's better if we forgo the pleasant family outings for a family that is pleasent. Wait a minute... I heard a pleasant family today... it went something like this.... with their babies in the strollers.... "why the fuck are you being so fucked about this... jesus, don't be a fuckin freak about this..... just don't get so fucking bent out of shape" Nice, thank you dear people for showing such constraint in public.. I admire that. (Not to say that a bunch of crap doesn't fall from my face and fingertips... but I limit my crap for audiences that may have heard it once or twice before... or if I hurt myself... I reserve the word "shhhhiiiiittttt"... because as a parent that hisses nicely.... this word can be hissed quite nicely).,..anyways... I scanned the eyebrows of both of my chicklets.... Miss Blondie Pipster didnt flinch.... therefore she didn't hear the "pleasant family people"..... now Mr Appropriateson had his eyebrows raised... a significant clearance over the forehead.... I immediately had to do a little debriefing.... "so... how would you like it if Daddy and I talked like that to one another.... hmm????"...... his blue eyes got bluer......"YES... that's what I was thinking.. don't talk like that in public.... it just sounds bad".... he agreed..... "freaks" was his comments.... and I started thinking... yes, exactly what people think of us when our hissing episodes overcome us....well, it's not that we hiss loud... it's just the chronic parental thing that happens.....now.. for another story.......or a little piece of insight ..... Mr Kingsilenthusbandathome has a "code of quiet"... he never never swears around his kids.. mainly because he barely talks... but when he is at work busy being a "Glassman"... that all changes.... I know because he told me so...(on a Sunday) he becomes one of "The boys"..... and I would have no idea what that means.
Although right now he is not following his "Code of Quiet".......all I need to say is.... Hey look...it's "Roddy the Snoreman"! AAAAAAAHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Well, must go.. because Cicely(german shepherd) the most evilest of evil queens one would ever want to know is in the laundry room drying off... and she is PISSED off that she is in their while the younger more foolish evil queen is free to sleep on the couch with the Snoreman. And you wouldn't want to piss off the evilest of queens.... she spends a lot of her evening stalking things in our home.... our necks could always be a welcome invitation....
Friday, August 20, 2004
And I think the time has come....
SEATTLE, Washington (Reuters) -- A black bear was found passed out at a campground in Washington state recently after guzzling down three dozen cans of a local beer, a campground worker said on Wednesday.
"We noticed a bear sleeping on the common lawn and wondered what was going on until we discovered that there were a lot of beer cans lying around," said Lisa Broxson, a worker at the Baker Lake Resort, 80 miles (129 kilometers) northeast of Seattle.
The hard-drinking bear, estimated to be about two years old, broke into campers' coolers and, using his claws and teeth to open the cans, swilled down the suds.
It turns out the bear was a bit of a beer sophisticate. He tried a mass-market Busch beer, but switched to Rainier Beer, a local ale, and stuck with it for his drinking binge.
Wildlife agents chased the bear away, but it returned the next day, said Broxson.
They set a trap using as bait some doughnuts, honey and two cans of Rainier Beer. It worked, and the bear was captured for relocation.
Where did the ridiculous photo go that I so excitedly posted here yesterday... I did see it....now I will have to go through a consultation process with some people.. I don't know who those people are... but I know you are out there.... you blogger brains and template tweakers....you know who you are !!!! I can't stay red x'd..... the Mr silenthusband will have a field day with that one.....!
If you see the photo anywhere kicking around, can you pick it up and mail it back to me.....wait a minute....maybe I will start over again......
Once again... YOU ARE RIGHT !!!! My Silenthusbandturnedbearwatcher came with me...and just him and I watched for bears. Except we saw a lot of deer instead... there was one bear wwwaaaayyy at the end of the trail...... but that was it for tonights little hunt. He's a good guy to take with you.... he doesn't say much... no questions... you can just quietly plod along... because the bears like to be surprised by humans.... I'm thinking he had something up his sleeve with this little ploy tonight.... alright that's it... he's never coming bear watching with me again... he tried to have me offed...... that bastard !!!!!!!!!
Thursday, August 19, 2004
I had made a list the other day...I let my husband know that he was number 10 on "the list". So if he actually wanted to speak with me.. he better think up something because his clock was ticking. Well, he never got around to talking to me...and then wouldn't you believe it... on Tuesday he came to me .. and decided that he had all kinds of stories to tell. Then he proceeded to tell me them, and more... and it continued on... when finally when I'd had enough... I asked him what day it was.
Pardon me??? he says....then I continue.......
"Today is Tuesday... and you are speaking out of turn.. your turn was on Sunday.. and number 10 on ten the list... you were forwarned about this. I am sorry but I have to pace myself... I can't be listening to all of your stories.. especially when they are out of turn....for now on... if you would like to send me a memo, or a note of "exemption from out of turn speaking", I will consider it. Thank-you for taking the time to talk to me... but now is not the time for talking"
The Outofturntalkinghusband cracked up laughing....and walked away without comment. (Now that's a good boy... talk to you on Sunday)!!
- My face is kind of stitched together... so I'm at a loss as to what to have for breakfast, yesterday.
- The roof of my mouth is missing some gum... so putting things on the left side of it is out.
- The right side of my mouth is soooo fucking sensitive...yes, fucking sensitive.. on any regular day...so I am not willing to slip something past it... because it ain't going to happen.
- I can't have coffee. Well that's a double fuck for that one. Yes, I must write fuck.... what should I be writing... fudge..... I save that for when my kids are around.. if I use up all the fudge now... I will be low on fudge when the fuck crisis happens.... so it has to be fuck.
- I'll have tea. I like tea. Yes, tea just gets me all revved and powered up.... I am like a top out of control.
- I'm a liar... I will drink tea and pretend it's coffee.
- I live in a house... I am not short for things to be accomplished around here....(as I look at my front window.....waiting for another katwonnged to happen...)
- Ahhh.... I have been looking at some peoples blogs (well that's odd)... and I am quite impressed/envious of their fine looking specimans.... cool colors.. cool styles.. flashy things that look good together.. neat pictures.....organized sidebars...... specials links.... images that fly across the screen.... showoffs!
- Ahh.. ten... the natural obscessive compulsive that makes up little magic numbers in her head... and sticks to it. The chicklets are fed, showered, tidied... now it's just a plan to do something with them today that they will both agree on. And not kill one another in the process. .....wait a minute it's started.... the girl is now unloading her bedroom into the livingroom....she doesn't understand that a livingroom isn't for living in... it's a space in a home where you fill it up with furniture and trinkety things and then lock all the doors, and stare at it from there.... right now she is happily moving her "Happy Family Playhouse" into the livingroom... to create the biggest tornado aftermath possible... well, now I know what I will be doing....
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Damn the horrible feeling that I have in my head right now... I went today to have some gum grafts.. now I feel like I have road rash.... inside my head... the drugs I have taken are not doing their job. Here, put your hand on the screen... thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud.... that's what I'm feeling... and this isn't even a headache.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
The Pipster and I have now taken to walking down to the end of the dyke with strangers. It's good to do that kind of stuff.... it goes totally against the grain of anything I have ever taught in her 7 years so far. I'm kind of confused myself... here's the list so far:
- If you see a wild animal... back away; give it space...... So tonight we headed straight down to the end of the dyke where they like to sit and bath. Great.
- Don't talk to strangers.....We immediately begin talking to a couple.
- Don't follow strangers when they invite you to look at something. "Sure we'll come with you."
- Stay with the group you started with...... the majority of bear watchers were leaving, and the couple that we had walked down the little roadway were still observing a bear... the girl and I took off with the big bunch.....we left the couple in the dust !
- Stay in a large group....I picked up the pace... so that the Pip wasn't the last... the big tall whiney teenager with the stupid black hoodie over his head was last...bye bye baby!!
It was a good night... we got to see 4 bears.... there was a HUGE one way out in the blueberry fields... then there was one sitting on the dyke...and then when we were scrambling back when 2 medium fellas popped onto the roadway.. and they needed a quick nap... so the group had to stand their and wait.... problem being that the park gates get locked at 9:00... guess what time it was??? You know the outcome... because here I am.
- Licky wants to wake up... so she stands up in her wicker basket that is next to our bed and throws herself down. (Repeat this x 10)
- Evil Queen knows she wants to wake up, so she sits up on her carpet at the end of our bed and stares at Licky who is doing circles in her basket.
- Evil Queen gets bored of all this and walks down the hall. Evil Queen is getting old (almost 11), she forgets why she walked down the hall and comes back and stares at Licky.
- Licky gets nervous and wags her tail, which hits the wall and begins to bang. So now Licky is creaky and bangy dog.
- Evil gets bored and leaves again... oh, failed to mention the first time.. we have hardwood flooring throughout the house...she then walks into the kitchen to the sliding glass door and lets us know that SHE would like outside.
- This upsets Licky...she stands up on our bed... off you go silly.... we say quietly before the Queen has heard us speak. Too late.. she comes back to investigate. Everything looks quiet so she leaves.
- Mr Takecareofdogsinthemorninghusband gets up, removes the baby gate barrier and lets Licky out... she scrambles down the hall.. and stumbles upon our most favourite Evilist Queens, and then runs back to his side.. and he ushers HER, LADY LICKY out the sliding door first.
- As usual this pisses off the Most Evilist of Queens and she lets us know that she should be out their first. "Wait your turn, don't make her nervous... because she will come back too quickly.. and then you will have to wait longer". One harumpf from Lady Evil... and she sits and waits impatiently.
- Lady Licky comes back and like two ships that pass in the night.. the sliding door opens, one comes in and the other goes out.
- All is well.
- Oh really.. all is well... no, all is not well.
- Little Miss Licky-the-Nervous is now in the house....all by herself.
- Run run run run run run run run run run... which translates to in our hardwoooded floor... click click click click click.. or if you prefer.... tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap
- Pause... crunch crunch crunch... (she's getting into her crumbles... that she shouldn't be doing)
- Now she lets out a couple of fearful barks because The Evil Stalker Queen is out back watching the idiot dogs. Little Nervous Licky Feirce Girl puts her two cents in.
- So.... it's been run run run, click click click, tap tap tap, crunch crunch crunch, bark bark bark, and now it's lick lick lick. OH, now there's thunder... that's quickened her pace.
- The day hasn't even happened yet.
Monday, August 16, 2004
Most heads of hair match their owners. I look at people and their mop on top... ya, that's a match..... or .... nope... to high maintenance.....doesn't match.I haven't got the hair thing figured out... at all. Ever. People are never happy with what exists on the tops of their heads. But I am happy to look at it. The colour, the length, the cut, what people are capable of doing with their heads of hair.
Now, you take my head of hair. Coloured... weekly, cut... a couple of times a year, washed..... every 2nd day due to the colour issue, conditioned... same answer as washed,..treated with respect... daily, hourly, minute by minute. How can I have hair that goes so wrong??? How can I have long hair, but somehow it can't stay in a braid. How can I own crazy wavy hair.. but only when its long? If it feels like going in a "ponytail"... it doesn't look good... at all. It generally doesn't go in a ponytail... it doesn't sit right. Oh, then there's "the clip"... my hair hates the clip.. it wont go in a clip... if it does... it then revolts, and all the nice long pieces that should be spilling over creating the pretty little fountain, or flowy pieces, that's right FLOWY pieces, they all stand on end like a turkey's tail. (You know that big frothy part). Yes if I wear a clip in my head I get a turkey tail. What kind of crap luck is this? I have this head full of superstrong, wiry hair that goes limp when I put it in a frenchbraid... so that it nicely falls out everywhere... and yet I can't put my hair in a clip... none of this makes sense... I think I should send this head of hair somewhere... it needs therapy... anykind...
So this evening.. since I ran out of time... because we had to do our bearwatch... I couldn't fix this head of hair.... it went out post bike helmet head, post re-frenchbraided x 3, until the time on the clock ran out.. and I simply had to go... to remedy that problem...I put on an extra coat of lipstick. There... all better. Hair looks like shit... but the lips will stay until tomorrow afternoon.
Well, it's kind of disorganized around here.. and hot, and I'm going to be late. So, when better to begin a quick post.... and I realize that nothing with me is too quick.
- So... http://oneperfectday.blogspot.com/ this person was going to buy a bottle of wine for her one thousanth visitor... I will be buying myself a bottle of wine!!! Cheers Bella!
- We went bear hunting... and found a beautiful one.... I got two pictures.... and that big sign with the AUTHORIZED VEHICLES ONLY means what exactly.... people and bikes all make their way down this little dead end road... and my guests preferred the look out your window type of tour.... nobody even knew I was their... except that beautiful bear.
- The three of us travelled out for a bike ride... except that there are dykes that surround us... so to get a fairly good ride in.. I took them to the track at the highschool... and we all rode in circles..... I am the queen of invention. The Pip still fell... first words out of my mouth... because I am a warm and nurturing and caring parent..... "You didn't scratch your beautiful Cream Soda bike....." as I pick up her bike from the ground where she is still sitting.
- Well... truly today was not that good deed Friday thing that I found out about a couple of weeks back.... I like to do good deeds... but today was not that day...I was standing in line, of course with the two bear watching children.. and we had already made our way through one grocery store.. (without incident, I might add)... and now we were standing in another line... when up cruises the "one item" person.... she doesn't say anything... she just keeps to my right... and fusses with her one item...and fusses .......alright...I start to make a deal in my head as to how I will let this woman go in front of me....meanwhile I am unloading my bits and pieces... and listening the bear watchers actually stand in line and be kind to one another.... that's when the "one item" lady points out that I have something at the bottom of my cart. SNAP. That's it... you just lost my kindness... yup... kindness can't be wasted on people that think you are thief..... keep waiting lady, and as a special bonus I will let you listen to my children for the duraction of my stay!!!!!
- I have a problem... I am supposed to be at a pub with my friends in 10 minutes.... well,,,, I guess I will have to be late....
- Call me a moron... but I have been trying to figure out how to post a picture in my edit profile... I have been fumbling around... not knowing what I am doing.... and I still am coming up with nothing!
- The boy had the worlds fastest haircut yesterday.... and for the first time in his years of getting his hair cut.... it is the worst.... I like it short... but this is stupidly short.... stupid woman with her stupid shears getting paid to give stupid haircuts!
- I was able to take Miss Pips used new bike back... whew.... it was clearly built by a moron... and then bought by (???) and then returned by (?????).... and then we went to a new bike store, and bought the Lovely Screaming Mimi a brand new "Pink Cream Soda" bike... it's just a name... but it was soooo her.... and no our Screaming Mimi has something to scream about....she loves her new bike...first things out of her mouth... when are we going on a bikeride.... when ... when... when... when.....
- I love the picture cartooning feature.... oh yes I do... now I just need a ton more pictures on disc so that I can keep up with the demand.
- I am not sure if I hate my dogs more... or the neighbour dogs... I clearly can't determine if I really hate the fact that I have to YELL at my two dogs separately to get them to be quiet... or the fact that I have to listen to the two idiotic dogs over THERE and can't say anything to them... hate dogs.. ha....like dogs.. like dogs... (as I watch my little crazy worrywart LP sleeping away)
- that's all..... I haven't even made it through a cup of coffee.... and there's already things that are sending me to space, mind you not in a SPACEY sort of way...it's more of a kind of high jump thing.....
- Oh, one more.. the kids are hiding because I told them that we need to sit down at the kitchen table and do some school work.... and the only reason why.... BECAUSE I SAID SO.
Sunday, August 15, 2004
- I do not need to colour my hair....what's it been a week!
- No dishes... Mr CleanandtidystayathomeonaSaturday has done that
- Laundry.... clean.
- Food..... there's bits and pieces.. the troops will just have to survive. Besides that coincides with number 2... and I can't have any of that...
- I realized that I had forgotten about my flowers about an hour over their life limit and spent last evening watering everything out back... today they will dry out.
- Ahhhh! I bought a battery for my camera... I will have to go try it out.
- Blueberries... need some... badly... and with the threat of bears roaming through the miles of rows... I don't think I will be picking them. Maybe todays the day we dawn our danger suits....
- I have scrapbooking issues to deal with... like plant some pictures on some pages...
- Will have to go and investigate the local nursery.... it's the end of the season sale time.. that's a good sunday chore. Besides I might get some hugely overgrown flowers on sale that are still alive, they just look ugly... I will spend part of my day adjusting my plant pots.
- I think today is the day that my husband and I talk to one another... at least I think this is the day.. I will have to make time for that... if I remember.. but then again.. I just made this list.. and he happens to be at the end of it.. and sometimes you don't get to the last thing on your list till the end of the day.....maybe I will talk to him tonight. He might have something to say to me....he told me last week (actually last Sunday)... as I asked the question... "Do you not have any comments to share".... his answer.... "You can't rush into this kind of stuff...... I need to pace myself, I can't do all my talking and answering your questions all at once....we are going to be married for a long long time". That's nice...
Saturday, August 14, 2004
I so love blogger land, blogger land, blogger land....
I so love blogger land....
isn't life so grannndddd...!!.
I can write whatever I like, whatever I like, whatever I like....
I can write whatever I like...because I so like to wriiitttee..... (make it rhyme!!!!)
Now I 've takin to makin up songs, makin up songs, makin up songs....
Now I've takin to makin up songs.... now is that really wronnnnggg???...
I'm off to read more in blogger land, in blogger land, in blogger landdddd....
I'm off to read more in blogger land... because I simply can.....
I so love blogger land, blogger land, blogger land.....
I so love blogger land.....
Isn't life so GRAND !!!!
Thank you, thank you very much.
You've been a great audience.
Friday, August 13, 2004
Now this could all be a classic case of coincidence... but there's a alot of hair problems out there. Now I am not just talking about the ooppsss I'm havin a shitty hair day... this is downright problematic "oh no I woke up again and the hair looks shittier than yesterday problems". I thinks it's become to an epidemic porportions..... who reports this to the World Health Organization?? This is going to have an impact on our quality of life.... can you imagine the line-ups at government agents offices.... or what about customs.... or what getting your passport renewed.......big and little malls all over North America.... and gas stations.... even the Library lineups will grow....our whole work force will come to a crawling hault..... and why.. because everyone will be having bad hair days. It's the government agents I am most concerned about....they only serve about 3 people a day.... thats because other duties of their employment involves water fountain duty.. and hover and cover other peoples work space...some of the day.. then take a break.... then serve someone.. and that's the trouble.. one wrong comment by Joe Public... and it's a nervous breakdown for the employee....HOW DARE YOU STARE AT ME LIKE THAT..... I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU..... CAN'T YOU SEE
I'M HAVING A BAD HAIR DAY !!!!!
This is the trouble I am talking about.... it's only going to get worse... well except at fast food outlets across the world... they go to work everyday with a net over their head which gives them bad hair, and can still somehow manage a smile and a perky voice through their headsets..... so where are all these people now when we need them at the government agents office.
Thursday, August 12, 2004
And I was glad to sit and witness it all !!!
First of all he comes in... speaking in french..... the reception girl says I don't understand French... he starts to yell.... then he says he needs to go get something to eat because he is a diabetic, and he needs his insulin (SOOOO, in my head I start to say to him... listen here you goddamn moron.........it's not anyones fault that you are late, and hungry and de-insulinized..... it is 10:00 in the morning.. and if you couldn't get your shit together... then don't come up here and start yelling at the reception.... did your mother never tell you to take RESPONSIBILITY for yourself.... freakin f...g fool. God!) But I only thought that.... because freak wife is muttering under her breath crashing into all the people that are whining in the room... excluding Mr Amazingly-composed Grampa... and the sweet itsy-bitsy baldy baby.----- So the fight carries on... he yells at the receptionist... eyes are darting all over the place... then the reception yells... go sit down and take a seat... you are really starting to piss me off...!!! So now the crazy man crashes past some people.... and hits an elderly with the door on the way out... the crazy wife crashes past people.. then they blast back into the place... make people move.. so they can sit down again. Now he decides to give himself an insulin shot... so of course one of the whining people start yelling... " You couldn't go do that in the bathroom..." as he sits their with his shirt up jamming an epipen into his abdoman....more yelling between the "patrons" of this 6 x 9 palace !! Then theirs an emergency meeting with the Doc's and the receptionist... the patient that was already being seen by the Dr gets booted out of the office... and these people hauled in... more yelling...... the dusts settles everyone goes back to their respective places.... well the two moronic frenchpeople... now the people in the office are standing yelling at the receptionist.. how long is this gonna take... one guy leaves... more people are coming in.....WOW... this was great...the clincher....
The girls turn is next... I have been waiting for about an hour and 30 minutes... a half hour to get to the office.. a half hour return.... so were up to 2 1/2 hours all for a .... 5 minute appointment... WOW... that is so worth it. Then I find out that he is moving his office in October... down to St Paul's Hospital.... (which takes about an hour to get to.. paying more money for parking.. if you can find parking.... then waiting in this chaos)... just to have Mr Dr. Orthopedic Surgeon say to the girl that he certainly remembers her from her extended stay in the cast clinic.... to look at her arm.. to check if it's growing.. and were done...so guess where I won't be going a year from now?
Dont fear those out their... I am not in a funk...... I am just in awe of other people lives... and the excitement that unfolds for them each day.... today I want to be an Olympic Athlete... that would be so unboring.
Actually this little surgeon man will remember my Pip... he always does.. he was so frightened by her... that the day we went to the "cast clinic".... he sicked his resident on us.... and wished him luck..... only to run in and out of the room... that's it.... she turned a 10 minute visit into a 5 1/2 tour..... what's not to remember about the crazy blond child...... Ha ha........
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
I am not certain how long this sweetness-invasion will continue to possess this needy blond child... but it can stay as long as it takes... I am enjoying this little holiday.
Some things I got accomplished earlier.................
- Paid bills on the computer
- Renewed my library books on the computer
- Recharged my telephone on the computer
- Talked to some friends on the computer
- Won a million dollars on the computer
- Lied about number 5 on the computer
I had a fight with "Melanie" today. "Melanie" is the automated voice girl for my cell phone. I pissed "Melanie" off so bad today she put me on hold.... forever... then came back in her sickly-sweet- grenedine voice and told me that nobody was available to help me. Does this sound bad: I was sitting in my 14 year old SUV, with the windows opn... yelling "GIVE ME A HUMAN, I JUST WANT A HUMAN TO TALK TO.. I CAN'T TALK TO MELANIE... BECAUSE SHE CAN'T ANSWER MY QUESTIONS..... GIVE ME A HUMAN.... , GIVE ME A FREAKING HUMAN TO TALK TO!!!!" that was me in the parking lot of Ikea.... so I decided that I would have to take this phone call inside the store.... that way I would have to beg and plead for a human to come on the line and I wouldn't have a heart attack/stroke in the parking lot trying to get "Melanie" to take me off of hold. I am way more civilized in front of other people; who wouldn't hesitate to call 911 and point and scream that there's a crazy woman in Ikea.
You know... there's so many days I write about Pip and her personality... I have no idea where she gets it from............???
Kind of nervous... it's just the crazy blond girl and me... the house is very silent... except for her morning shows that she likes to watch... (shows that have (evil) high pitched voice overs for characters...) I don't have to wear a referree shirt... or in the girls case, wear a white T-shirt and sway to and fro when her world starts to implode, or a cross around my neck, or carry a peace sign in my pocket to flash at her.... I'm thinking that the queen of the castle is rejoicing in her aloneness. I am certain though, that if I do not go along with misconceptions of what HER day will turn out like... I could be shredded.. she is rather cat like.... and I am her favourite couch.
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
I did something totally weird today.... I carried a big big umbrella around in the boiling heat. Yes some of YOU BC'ers will laugh... and laugh heartily... because yes, I admit I used a big big umbrella in the boiling heat. Why........ for no reason now..... see the above comment... which is what I was trying to avoid... by using the big big umbrella.
We went to the Vancouver Zoo.... where I know it was hot.. and I just don't do hats... hats make my hair flat..........I'd rather carry a big big umbrella... you stand out that way... some people even told me that I was smart... I don't know.... instant shade.... I think one lady really wanted to take it, (her eyes were pretty bugged out.. and her hands were reaching their way over).... and a cover for your head when you watch the birds of prey show.. and they swoop practically right on your head......
Weirdness counts in this world....more people will talk about the crazy lady with the big big umbrella than the lady with the pink backpack... (me as well)... but I had to icepacks sitting right at the back of it.... so it was a refreshing carrying device....
That's it for me... more stories to type....but can't.. I will go and find my peppermint stick to roll on my neck... and then of course go and find some drugs.... my next motto in life is definitely "living better through pharmaceuticals" : ) : )
Monday, August 09, 2004
The girl is going to a scrapbooking adventure which she is quite excited about. I bought her a disposable camera so she could scrapbook up some of her "Pip Pic's"...... things were good the first time we went to save-on-foods as we dropped the film off... but then later on... we needed to pick the film up... which required standing at checkout counters... with many many things to be bought... or in the pips case to be drooled over and enticed by. WE had a couple other grocery items to pick up... and then she starts.... can I have this, can I have this, can I have this, what about this, what about this, what about this.. I like this, I like this, I like this, I like this........I give her her pictures... I point, go stand over their.. hopefully someone will take you.............and off she goes. I take my bags, my Mr Archie-comic son and one demon home. From the back seat, she begins to hiss about things... whatever is on her mind... and that's when she was hit with a piece of my mind..... unfair fight.. too bad so sad.. I'm the Mommy. (at this point my philosphy for her was you get what you give.... and I gave it to her... thankfully that shut her up). Until it came to dinner.....once again... the demon approached the table dressed as a Pipster... very quickly the demon was commanded to leave the table to go to it's room... to come back as the Pipster. Eventually the Pip emerged from her littly tidy haven called a bedroom..... and I decided that I liked her again.... we both decided to go bear watching. Good show tonight... spotted a MaMa with her two cubs..... cool, cool, cool. You know, come to think of it... how do mother bears tell their youngster to hit the road.. don't they just kind of roar at them... and scare them off a bit..... similar to my tactics of the day.... so now I own a demon-bear????? ha ha ha !
Taking a quick tour of my favourite blogs that are green...
My friend finds me awake, and we chat for a little online
We eventually agree that it really should be someones bedtime.
As I reach for my mouse to say good night....
I hear a small sound... which gave me a small fright..
What is that sound I say as I strain to hear...
Will it happen again, is it from far or is it near...
It certainly isn't the snoring that come in waves from down the hall...
It seems to be coming from just the other side of this wall....
With an imagination as big as the sky
Thoughts of weird creatures make their way past my eyes..
I blink my eyes hard, and shake those images from my head..
It is really late, and I should really go to bed.
I wait for the sound to happen again,
My eyes spot the clock and now it's 2:10
Enough is enough, this is the end of that sound
No more sitting a waiting, no more horsing around.
Finally it comes to me, I know what I am hearing....
It's LP, our german shepherd, in her wicker basket she is stirring.
With a quick click of the mouse, to disconnect and say bye.
Now I will go, and get some shut eye.
Sunday, August 08, 2004
A couple of points from the day:
- The girl has decided that her bathing suit is her active wear. Should I be frightened by that?
- My children both now have those spinning toothbrushes (fresh out of the cereal boxes) that clean their teeth all sparkly and smooth..... now I can stare at their sweet little smiles and actually be happy at looking at their teeth, not the leftover yellowy junk from last weeks pizza party.... eeeeewwwwwwweeeeeeeeee !!!!
- My hair is the same colour today.... once again I have coloured it with fade resistant permanent colour..... I wonder if this box is going to be another lying liar cardboard smiling liar girl with a different hair product plastered on her head.... will be able to tell you tomorrow.... that's if I feeling like washing my hair... it might be nice to have the same hair colour for two days in row..... something about that consistancy thing that I can't seem to get over.
- The girls bedroom is clean... and I had nothing to do with it... how many side smiles can I fit on this page anyways.... :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
- I have another tomato that is ripening... I am wondering if I will get to it, before the evil queen Cicely the tomato eating dog sniffs it out and eats it. She has eaten all of them so far. That would be the reason why I quit growing cucumbers, strawberries and zuchinni. I think the actual problem here is that she doesn't know that she's a dog... and "Dog's eat dog food".... she doesn't know that. I have to admit... the corn on the cob hasn't peaked her interest. Oh, but of course the pumpkins are kind of neat... just when you have lost all of the tennis balls in the yard.. she can wander over and pick herself a new ball.
- I see the girl making her way home from her friends house... I will have to go.... I am sure she will need to be driven to see the bears.... I can just hear her now.....
Saturday, August 07, 2004
Once again, I am glad to be at work today... where nobody knows where I am. ....
I feel that beautiful side smile sneaking up again !! :) :) :) :) :)
But, what I do know is that my cleaning friends wont be coming over tomorrow... only because Mr Superkitchencleaninghomecleaningtidymanhusband has been home for the last two days... so that little 1350 square foot house of mine will sparkle. I like being at work, where nobody knows I'm here... yes, that brings a side smile to my face really fast :) :) :) :)
Friday, August 06, 2004
what I felt like doing was being a Lounge Lizard. Yes, say it again... Lounge Lizard.. let those l's roll off your tongue.. and feel what it would be like to sitting back in a comfortable suit, drinking a grenedine stained umbrella drink, eyes criss-crossing across the bar, watching the comings and goings of the people around you... all the while.. listening to hit songs from the days before you were born. Yes, that was the persona that I took on last evening.... playing my digital piano (with earphones). Yes, just me and my Reader's Digest Book of Big Hits....you know, I sounded great... because the only one hearing it was me... similar to singing in the shower...I even took requests from my imaginary audience.... "aaaawwww... look at the happy couple... this song goes out to them"..... Smoke Get's In Your Eyes... bumbled from my fingertips......" everyone look over their.. check out that smile".... as Mona Lisa burped it's way onto the keyboard......I livened up the group with my "Midnight Special" which is crusing along just nicely.. and writing of crusing...... "Cruising Down the River".. managed to make a half-assed appearance across the keyboard as well. Not to be outdone by Sir Elton John and his Candle in the Wind.............so a little glimpse into my life..... until our friends came along around 10:00 last night and delivered me and Mr Cleankitchen-husband-man some VANILLA COKE (DIET FOR ME.. MORE CHEMICALS FOR ME... I MIGHT LIVE LONGER !!!!). Oh how I love Vanilla Diet Coke from the woman who is drinking a Extra Hard Cider Pineapple-Guava flavour at this exact moment !!!! So, just to keep my blogging friends happy (Lujza), I will write another post. Stay tuned... for those that care to stay tuned (Lujza).
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
And that's my thought for the day.
Today is the day that it rained down on me
Little did I know it would bring me no glee,
For today is the day that I thought the rain would be good
To keep our world green, and that it would.....
Today is the day that on a whim
I pressed a key which made me quite grim
Today is the day that with all my finessing
Left me with lots of green, and a whole lot of guessing
Today is the day that I lost my gadgets, buttons and lists
Where will I retrieve them, who will I remember and who will I miss??
Today is the day that a fright made a dare......
To turn my regular day into a living blogmare.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
I am reading my "favourites" list.... my private little stash of bloggy things to read about... and people don't post.. how can you not post... for many many days... now I am kind of crazy over this. Not kind of... there's no half-way with me.... it's all the way baby !!!! I love to read peoples thoughts, their doings, their inner selves exposed to a world where the colours pink and blush have no meaning here !!!!! I am a people watcher... therefore I am a reader... and I want to read !!!! People give me something to read !!!! Oh, and of course thank you to those that give me something to read.... you know... because I have left you a comment.... !!!!!
So... back to the business of the day... Miss Pipster and I took two trips down to "Bear Alley"... we saw some huge one walking out in the blueberry fields... and then I drove down the "authorized vehicles only" lane.. and showed her the incident spot... (and to see if we could salvage any left over skin... she's lacking still....) then I showed her where the bears were... she said she was glad I made her hurry in all her screamingness... !!!! WE went back later tonight.. and then cruised some little dead end streets way up on the mountain.. and sure enough... just take a guess what popped out of the bushes... just guess.. really.. guess........ A BEAR. So we cruise down the hill quietly... and she once again wanted to sit up on the roof through the sunroof... crazy kid... we get up nice and close ... and the little guy is just standing their.. eating berries... enjoying an evening snack... when he realizes we are there... he high-tales it back into the bushes. Once again.. it was great seeing another bear !!!!
Believe it or not, we live in a subdivision... which is close to the base of a mountain, that is attached to many dykes.. and agricultural land reserve, and acres of blueberry farms, which is right next to the dykes.. which is right next to miles and miles of wilderness.. hence the bear issue. I love it.. wouldn't change it.... except of course one night when ONE made their way into my front yard and stole my apples.... not nice... !!!
My thought of the day... keep clicking till it hurts, eventually you will become numb.
The girl is loaded with Polysporin in numerous locations. I have managed to deny access to the bandage box in an effort to have her remain in a moveable state. Otherwise she would have so many bandaids wrapped around her I would be calling her "Mommy". She does have one bandaid on... in fact she has a strip attached to her that I can't remove... I am actually wondering, how long does a bandaid stick before it unsticks... luckily it isn't covering the part of her arm (outer layer of skin) this is actually missing. That is where their is a bandaid... covering what isn't their anyways. That location doesnt have polysporin. Antibiotic ointment their... only because I couldn't get any of the dirt off from the "splat-attack where bears stare" took place.
WE were doing their school work this morning.... the Pip managed to do some... or should that be "sum"... kind of impressed,"little-miss-impossible" was quite happy to sit and learn some numbers...The boy on the other hand.... I'm trying to get him to learn his times tables... so how many times will I need to ask him the same question before he remembers.....because I have asked him close 357 trillion times his two times tables... and the lightbulb is still just kind of flickering......BUT ....you let that boy hear someones "accent" for a split second, or quote a punch line from a joke that you heard 13 days ago... and he's got it all going on. I think it's getting close to hammer time. Ha!
Sunday, August 01, 2004
Cleaning her home requires patience, know-how, drive, willingness, obsessive-compulsive behaviours, 13 garbage bags, a good memory and an organized brain. The pipster doesn't possess any of these qualities. NONE, can't find them anywhere..... they're not even lost in her room.
Instead of cleaning on this beautiful day, the girl and I ventured out for a bikeride... (I can live with that room like that for a couple more hours). Everything was happening along fine.... well except the fact that we rode to far... kind of into bear territory... but I didn't want to go back... through the bear territory either... hmmm... anyways... we were just turning the corner, and found pavement... when the Pipster flies through the air... and then skids down a little hill. SCREAM ! Scream, scream, scream.................. shit I would have been screaming too. I pull out my nice and wet washcloth... and the water bottle, and the bandaids... I was going to start piecing the girl back together. ... Pip... get on your bike and ride little lady.... there's bears.... a mama and two babies... just ride little girl.... and THEN I STARTED TALKING REALLY REALLY LOUD... AND KEPT ON TALKING AND TALKING.. AND WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYONE TODAY.. DON'T THEY KNOW IT'S SUNDAY... AND PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS AROUND HERE ON SUNDAYS..........that girl is amazing... battered and bloodied and hurt... and we just kept going.. she wasn't willing to stop... anywhere.... well, until we were just about up the a corner... when out walked another bear... shit again... we got off our bikes.. and walked backwards.....we made it down to someones driveway and stood their. In the distance I could see more bikeriders.....there were three of them... a woman, her daughter... and a guy.... "you might want to wait for a minute... there's a bear just at the edge of the ditch".... the mom and girl stop... the guy keeps riding.... he slows then turns around... did you say a bear.... "Thanks for putting on those listening ears" I said to him... kind of rude.. but I was kind of still in a tizzy from our encounter just five minutes before. The five of us stopped their, a car had been sitting at the side of the road...he had put his hazards on... finally he left... we all proceeded together as a group. The guy offered to go first... and I'll have to admit.. not a talkative bunch... idiots! The mother rode ahead of her daughter... and yet I rode behind mine.... (my theory being that I COULD SEE if the girl turned into bearbait... not just hear the after-effects!).... I kept on talking.... and talking... they remained silent.. Nice... real nice people.. nothing like SNEAKING UP ON A BEAR !!!!!.........anyways, I am still typing so you know the and of the story... but do you........ way later on... after Pip had had a chance to put 5 washclothes all over her wounds to let them rinse.. and one bandaid (and I am not certain how I will be getting it off)... to cover her roadrash... we DROVE back to the park. Again, we managed to spot another bear wander across the road... and this time Pip sat up on top of truck's sunroof... and watched it eat blueberries. Fun stuff... glad we can talk about it.
THAT I CLEAN THE GIRLS ROOM.