poems for the popper

The sun is hiding.
Behind the clouds.
The world has gone dull.
Beneath it's shroud.

Alrighty then ... moving forward.

I bought a new jar of peanut butter yesterday. I can't help but love peanut butter. I do eat the reduced fat .... however I know that it isn't the complete greatest for you ... but then ... what do you eat for that hit of protein with the celery .. you can't chuck a piece of ham on a stick of celery. Well .. you can have cream cheese .. that's extra exciting ... but fricken expensive.

In the meantime while I ramble this is what is taking place:

My home doesn't echo. Except in the Jimmy's room. There's a lotta echoing going on in there. In the meantime the other end of the house is loaded up down and sideways with the Jimmy's stuff. Including Jimmy ... he's camping in the livingroom. Quite the camping situation we have going on here ... chaos before change. It's that simple. 

Welcome lalas.

That was my first thought.

Little lalas running around,
little lalas falling down,
little lalas spreading their wings,
little lalas doing great big things.

There, a Monday poem ... what an accomplishment!

In other things accomplished:

Haven't yet got the boy out of his makeshift bedroom yet. He is currently being housed in the livingroom while his room is in for renovations. I gave away his furniture over the weekend .. and he has been without ever since, so an air mattress an an excess of blankets have been his best friends ... when he needed to sleep. He went out the other night .. and got home at 0530 in the morning. Put your eyeballs back in your brains ... he went out to help a friend work on a project .. they went to the all day all night recording school. Jimmy and his billions of dollars worth of equipment. It's all good .. he managed to work 2 eight hour shifts over the weekend, plus stay out to help a friend, plus went to an 80th birthday dinner, plus took his date out! What a lazy ass.

In other things lazy:

That's how I feel on Monday mornings ... except that I can't be. My one task of the morning is getting that Jimmy to school .. and then I can have a bit of free time to myself .. and look around the house, and take mental notes of things that need to be accomplished. Then those mental notes, make me mental .. then I use a very well established habit ... and I MANAGE to forget everything that I thought about .. and go on with my day ... I am SO a professional at this! Not to fear .. all those thoughts come rushing back at a quarter past midnight ... hmm.

I have bought myself another day of free time. My last day at my group is March 1st. Sadly. BUT .. with the changes that have occured, and what has become a steady new norm of the association, I am not pleased with the lack of communication, and the expectation that half my work should be conducted as a volunteer. I was not happy having a volunteer as a volunteer, but rather should have been a paid position, on top of my position. AS odd as that sounds. Nonetheless ... I am out. Done. Complete-O. Quitsville. I wish the next person they find great successes .. because they are going to have to be someone that is willing to do a whole whack of stuff, for not really a lot of coin in their pockets. I think I might have been dumb for doing it this long. Oh well ... sometimes it takes time to realize that YES you really are that dumb!

In other other things so greatly exciting .. its .. "bring your camera to class" tonight at my photogroup! I am so so so so excited about that ! I am hoping today I can run around and gather some photos before going .. not that anything exciting will pop out at me ... but just fun enough to gather some images before I go ... I totally forgot about until now!

That has created a certain light footstep all of a sudden .. better get moving while the fever strikes!

Really ...

need more ...

music, laughter, pictures, memories, maid & some laundry soap.

Ha ha!

And if at first

You don't go crazy .. try try again.

Yes people .. that is my profound achievement for the day.

I didn't have to try very hard .. and well will you look at that ... I have already completely mastered my first task!

~~~

In other things less exciting but more noteably:

Trying hard to make sense of the boys band, and their attempts at moving forward, given the fact that he makes up 30% of the musical creativity.

So, for now will have to ignore that one ... unless I need to call a lawyer. AND if that's the case .. well then you know that things have definitely gone SOUTH!

Went to my camera group last night. Again .. interesting .. EXCEPT for the hum in the room, where the already QUIET talkers were muffled by the hum. It took all my restraint (as the new comer sitting in the dark) ... to not wildly hiss ..."STAND UP and talk you FREAKS ... the old guy on the other side just SAID .. "I can't hear you ... " I will be allowed back due to my stealthly silence.

I can't wait actually, because along with anything that I do ... it becomes an experiment into the human mind ... I love to see where people get there passion .. and how they project themselves onto an image - in relation to how they master their shots. I wonder if I'm just too simple .. I try and do as little editing as possible. I get quite perturbed when the camera can't see what I see ... so in effect I am left to fiddle and faddle with settings that help me to project my intentions.

One lady stated: "I shoot RAW". That's nice. I eat things that are RAW. Big deal.

I loved Harry's photos ... except that Harry shouldn't take pictures of his hands. Harry's hands were something strait out of a 1700 century warrior ... squishing grapes too boot. I'm not sure if my reaction was one of complete repulsion or extreme fascination.

I also LOVED Grant's photos. He's left handed. Of course I would love his photos. GAWD. How's that for writing on the wall.

Then there was the computer operator girl with the skinny ankles that didn't click NEXT on the slide show fast enough when it came to the ugly pictures. There were the gasps of WOW-NESS when the shots of the singular rose flashed upon the screen. Hello. Macro. Lens. Big. Whoop.

GIVE ME SOMETHING that I can sink my teeth into ... as in .. TELL me what the aperture was for the snowy owl .. and did you shoot in aperture .. or how did you shoot it .. and what was the ISO.. and tell me the F stop. Please. Left handed GRANT didn't have to ... because his photos were REMARKABLE.

So ya .. moving on ...

The snowman is melting .. I should get a picture of him .. while I still can ...

Well .. that was it.

For the snow.

Now .. it's been nothing but rain rain rain ... and a little wind thrown in for good luck.

In other things crazed and out of control.

Me.

No... just kidding.  Well .. semi not kidding.

Currently the state of mind is this ...

Overwhelmed by the stupidity of others; and frustrated by the fact that being thrown underneath a bus doesn't seem to have an impact on it's victim.

OH well .. can't change what is.... however now it will be important to pick up the pieces ... if there are any left to pick up.

It's January

What else do you take pictures of ... birds in trees, or on the road, and their luxury homes, the random goat .. and what looks to be a his and hers fence .. guess which one is the HIS side!

Now it's sunny .. with snow falling.

There's a little clear patch in the sky above ... with the sunshine peaking through. Kinda cool .. however ... all the cameraness in the world will not capture the excitement of the moment. Really.

Blue skies above us... with a hint of snow trickling through. Interesting.

In other things of great interest ... my hair colour is brown, with a huge hint of grey falling ... Interesting.

Given the fact that I did not run my group today ... (weather condtions leave people having to leave their homes in MAYBE ways that could make them slip) .. I have the time to perfect my hair back to the perfect brown-ness ... ok not perfect brown-ness, but some assorted flavour of colouring more than the colour grey. Ick.

In other things ...

The boyson has a new love interest. Yae him. Yae for the mother that loves the new love interest ... only because the new love interest is in fact in love with school. While love is still young and blossom filled .. will happily regard the situation as a walk towards the light! I will not speak of the torrent of dark cloud that has cast it's ugly shadow over our homestead for a great number of months in attempts to get the boyson to the education system.

I have been told that my work to get him to the education system is one that shouldn't be done, and in fact enabling the boyson to continue to behave in a manner that is far than admireable. My response to the pointedness of the facts include the simple and mere truth ... I never wish to look back and say "what if". "If only" ... "Maybe if I" ...  The truth of the matter be told ... is this exhausting .. YES. Is this equivalent to hammering your head against a wall? YES.  Is this torcher one that will have a positive outcome? Perhaps not.

BUT ... at least my inner soul will not be one of regret if there comes a day that the boy doesn't make it to the end of school. It wont be because I gave up on him. It wont be because I just couldn't be bothered any longer. It wont be because I gave him the OUT of not going. It wont be that he somehow decided it was OK not to complete his education.

BECAUSE he is a very smart kid .. eventually he will get it ... even though he doesn't quite get it yet .. I have been told by many people .. "if he doesn't want to go to school .. and won't get out of bed ... then just leave him .. let him fail". OK .. how about NO. How about ... everyday he join the grind .. every day he makes an attempt to join in with the rest of the ranks and plug his way through the system ... just the same way we all have to. Everyday that he remains in the school system the is actually under somebodies radar. Everyday that he joins in with the school system ... somebody will influence him ... Everyday that we trudge our way to school and not giving him an out to excuse himself from the rest of the world ... there's the lesson. Like I know .. he's a smart guy ... he can make it through the work requirements ... if only I can get him through the life requirements.

YES .. it is soul taxing on my part, on the families part. Is it completely stressful getting this hugely smart young man to the four walls that will eventually lead to his freedom? Yes.

Is it worth it?

It's priceless.

See, blue skies .. with a little snow falling ...