Thursday, March 31, 2005

D.I.@D.

That's the code for "drop-in @ deanna's". I didn't even know the code, until moments ago... when I came up with it. But.... that is what happened to me today, and yesterday... and the day before that.

I especially like it when my cell phone rings, and it's my house calling me... and the only one there is supposed to be the silly scaredy-catdog.. and she only breaks lamps and runs around with apples and bits of cardboard in her mouth... telephone calls are not her gig... although the sis had stopped by, and calls me to come back to my house to visit her, I tell her to clean my kitchen while she waits for me... as I walk home with my friend the cop and listen to all his Vancouver Cop Stories..

Today once again.. I had a drop-in.

Pausing here.... "oh thank you raincloud God's for saving me with your shower power.... because that got me home in the knick of time to tidy the "morning mess" that occurs in a blur throughout the morning, and without me knowing".

All true, all the time... yes it is... for some peculiar reason I was struck to clean the kitchen.. and tidy up the village.. and I wasn't certain there was a reason attached to it.. I even had coffee made.. and cream to put in it....truely a hostest with the mostest... for no reason at all. I could feel the "Goal God's getting all Gung-ho"... until someone knocked on my front door. And that ended that..... at least I had clean space for my friend to enter into..~~~~pa ping~~~ miracles of miracles... for 0900 in the morning.

And.. in other useless tales...

My Pipster has taken to needing to ride a scooter to get around our homestead.. all 1365 square feet of it... I like the way she rides around the table... and then scooters into the den, then sails back out through the kitchen.. and then down into the hallway. She hasn't started four wheeling in the livingroom yet.. where the real ugly carpeting-that-needs-to-be-replaced-after-the-laundryroom-gets-done resides. But I can't talk about that right now.. I still have trees in my backyard... and the laundryroom doesn't get done until trees are taken down in the backyard... now I am not too sure how big this laundry room renovation is going to be.. in fact I am starting to feel a weency bit nervous.

OH, and my feet have grown. Yes, after 27 1/2 years ( it's polite to believe the tales you read)... the size 8 shoe that was guaranteed a fit everytime.. is no longer a foolproof guarantee. I tried buying runners today... but I wasn't happy with the colours that "are happening" this spring. I want no colour this spring.. how selfish is that..? Colourless spring runners... sounds more like a moon boot really. I

Wednesday, March 30, 2005


This is how Fussy got her name.. look at this little Princess, which has now turned into the Princess Pipster Fusspot.. which is now her new name...but this is how it all started... endless hours of this to deal with... all the time... Our Little Fuss... now she has grown into Our Big Fuss....but I'll save that pic for another day. Posted by Hello

At this moment.

I am debating a glass of Tropicana Twister, or some wine. Now I know that my wine loving friends will think I am nuts... there is never a debate.. about wine. But... really, it's a question of how badly would I like to read my book tonight... if I have the fruity tooty sweet chugging out in the sun drink.. I will be able to open up my fresh from the library book.... but if I have the single glass of wine that I would like to just sip on... I will be asleep shortly.. probably before I finish this post. OH... what's that I am thinking.. a challenge... and a fun one! I'm off for a glass of clear adult refreshment.

And among other things at this moment.... I am eyeing my computer very suspiciously. GET THAT COMPUTER. I am on to this thing... it just sits here all content and looking the same every day that I arrive in it's face... but... I know it's up to something.. I can feel that in my bones. I have analyzed and scanned and updated.... but something has taken hold of it's little virtual mind and has begun overpower it. If it doesn't play nicely ... it will be quickly dismantled and taken to places where they show great concern over these types of issues.

Oh, and other fun things.... my Nikkon 5100 will soon be in my cold little hands.... I just love Income Tax Season.... it's Christmas all over again!

And to end a beautiful spring day here on the west coast... I just talked the Pipster down from demanding that she required something NOW. I am not sure what "it" was exactly that she needed, but the sweetness is filled with niceness once again... so it's safe to live under this roof at this moment in time. Life becomes very interesting with a seven year old Pipster when she decides that something is so ..... like staying up to watch the season finale of "the amazing race". When it came to be the magical bedtime she continued on her persistant and rational self and just kept pointing out that she was not going to bed .... over and over again. So, after 15 minutes of "whatever"... I got her blanket... that she has had since a baby, and her new kitten blanket, and found the person that "told her" she could stay up to watch it with him... not even thinking that it was on a school night... and she happily skipped next to him, curled up and watched the show. At 10:00 I decided it was late enough for a Pipster to be awake for... and off I went, gathered her blankets, pointed her in the direction of her bedroom... and off she went, my sweet blond headed zombie princess.

Gimball walker.

Thanks to technology I got to witness the presentation of my sons foot/feet as they hit the ground every time he takes a step. Now I know why he falls over alot. ALOT! I thought it was because his 10 year old frame was attached to someone that has a 12 year old frame, and he just didn't know how to use it. Not the case. This boy actually pivots on those feet rather than using them for any form of shock absorption, hence the chronic sore left ankle he has owned for over 4 years. (He sprained it from falling ...).

Which makes me think of my boy in Tae Kwon Do. I have watched this boy for way too many years in his interestingly coordinated state... and have thought to myself... he looks awkward. Which always raised the question... he can't seem to stand comfortably on his own two feet??... Then my eyes would glance around the room where the other wild children were kicking and "hutt-ing" everywhere... and they were able to be all sure footed and gazelle like... and then there was my sweet giraffe son. Giraffes don't act all sure footed.... they are tentative creatures, with beautiful eyes. Hmmm..... I see a similarity. Well, this Friday the boy is going to test for his red belt... I am not sure how he is going to fare... he's going with all the other gazelles in the class to his one giraffe.. he is going to look so unready...my gimball walker giraffe son. (Gimball... because pinballs spring and twing off things in the machine.. and I can't use the name pinball.. because that's already taken...).

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Planning ahead.

I am not a person that does things..until they absolutely have to be done... that's just not my style..... because that would mean that I was skillfull and organized, or weird. But, things will change for the next time around .... when it's spring break. Here, for you easy viewing I will create my loviest of lists.. that I just love to create!
  1. I have already ordered my super XXL ear plugs for long lasting comfortable day wear already.
  2. I will have three whistles around my neck at all times.. one for... "back off, you are irritating me", another for calling someone to attention rather than using their actual name that they are immune to anyway, and the third will be "That's it, I've had it.. run for your own personal safety".
  3. I will also be purchasing a fog horn/ blow horn.... certainly that will speed up the process of getting people out of the house, when I tell him that we're ready to go.. no wait.. I will purchase that speciality item now...
  4. I will place post it notes at eye level locations with hints such as "Your mother is not deaf, but you are making a good attempt at making her crazy, please do not yell at her"..... just to keep them informed of my current health status.
  5. All of the plates and cups will be locked in the cupboards, with the exception of one cup and plate for each of them. I was thinking of tieing the cups and plates to strings that extended from the kitchen sink, but I am sure they would just strangle me with it anyway. The first method will be much safer.. for me anyway. Who knows what they will do with their milk glasses after a day of sitting in the den.
  6. For the whole week their shoes will be glues to their socks, which will expedite the exiting process of the home.
  7. The boy will have braces by then, so I will be making an orthodontic appointment prior to the week of spring break, because then the nice tooth straightening Dr. can accidently put some extra bands on his upper and lower teeth with only enough room to open up for a straw to go through. He will be on a diet, to aid him with his excessive talking that he suffers from.
  8. I am going to buy a girl her very own, super soft pink muff to prance around with. That way her hands will be held together and not flying off hitting her brother with the whole week, unless of course the pink muff hits him, but that's OK, because it's not everyday you get hit with a pink muff!
  9. Will add chicken wire to the netting around the trampoline.. with one child still on the inside... that will improve outings on any given day by about 130%, since I will be going solo with the chicklets, while one stays home and bounces.... I will start thinking about the menu for the afternoon of trampoline frolicking now....
  10. I will go on a cruise to Alaska. On Spring Break. They will have so much fun without me... I just can't wait!

psst...pssst.

Hey you... ya you... can I interest you in a "hamdog"? That would be the newfangled version of the hotdog with a new improved version of fresh hamburger buns stepping up to the plate, because there are no hotdog buns around... and bread just doesn't cut it.

That was on the short order cooks menu tonight... at my mother's house. This woman had whipped together hamdogs and fries so fast... my head was spinning. I would have been still figuring out where the hotdogs were actually located in my rambling 1365 square foot rancher... let alone put it all together... and the best part... the oven was just smoking up a storm... but of course do the fries come out burnt.. . not a chance. I should have been taking notes...

Monday, March 28, 2005

A Toast..

There is such graciousness passed along in a toast. The recipient of the toast just stands, and is admired, and lavished with gushing thoughts and well wishes. I on the other hand, will be creating some toast for breakfast, and thinking happy thoughts as I crunch away with my cheese and jam on top of it.

And onwards to the day I go.... two children and one trampoline. I have to go and find my whistle.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Big News

Pippy just told me she hates Easter.... and then ran screaming to her room.

I had to investigate the situation. The boy then tells me that she found everything, and then wanted more. She wanted more fun and more chocolate with better hiding places. This Easter was no fun, she even hates her supersoft Easter Bunny, and decided to give it back to me. What a sweet little girl she is... so sweet that she doesn't need any of the chocolate eggs that she found a while ago, so I will go hide them once again, from her, in a cupboard... far far away from the supersweet princess pipster.

That lasted long... a separation between her and her chocolate... she is already back.. and opening her esther the hollow chocolate chicken.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

I'm broken..

With the onset of advanced age by the 10 year old son... he has broken me this SpringBreak. Mission Accomplished, oh thank you dear son. It is too bad when he was born that the Big Guy decided that this boy should have no ears... because they would come in handy somewhere around NOW. I have often wondered what those itty bitty holes were, but from what I have witnessed the last week, they are not good for anything. It was only a trick.

Over the last half an hour I have witnessed the biggest non-event in my mothering history.. which is all of 10 years. The Mr. Saturdayworkingman said to the boy (to his face), wash your hair while you are in shower... the boy does exactly not as he is told and comes back, clean body with messy hair. The typical response from my aging son... "I didn't hear him"... So I say to him... figure out a way to wash you hair.

Then the kitchen sink episode occurs.. as he refused to go back in the shower. He stood at the sink, bent over and waited for me to wash his hair. Now, on a good day... if he had clearly been a good hearted listening fool, and I wanted his hair clean for whatever obsessive reason.. I would have stood at the sink and quickly washed his hair, because I like my boy. As the water flew, and counters got drenched, and the only thing that was foaming was the steam coming from his ears, as he stood there waiting for the clean hair fairy to arrive, I waited for him to embrace the moment, and venture out on his own.. and waited and waited... but then as it was.. he flitted around the table claiming he didn't hear what was said to his face... he was on is own. AND, nothing would be happening until the hair was washed.. (failing to mention here.... he has been through the shower a couple of times this past week, and we had been to the beach where sand had landed on his head, and was still there yesterday after his attempt at washing his hair...). So after much huffing and puffing, and almost breaking our little house down, the sweet young earless boy managed to wash his hair... now he is a tall squeaking clean sweet boy once again.. I so like my son. I'm off to go hug him about 10 times or so....I jus can't wait for what the girl has in store for me today... as I am already broken..!

Thursday, March 24, 2005

I am a snake.

I have hissed way way too much today.... at my lovely not so little chicklets.

Holy. Freaking. Cow.... did I ever hiss at them.

The boy was much more deserving of my hisses than the girl .... perhaps it was because we were at "the mall"... and he doesn't do malls. She was just happy to be in the place surrounded by all things girl and a food fair. She in fact is my wallets worst nightmare.

I tried desperately to get the little bastard (he really was acting that way....really!) to agree to a 120.00 pair of runners, so I could get a pair at 1/2 price. It was screaming DEAL DEAL DEAL at me, and I so wanted a new pair of runners, because my foot was just plain killing me.... but he would not have it. So, we left empty handed... with him following behind us, with his eyebrows furrowed and glued together.

Well, now I am off.. I have cleaned up the broken porcelain lamp that the dog broke while we were out... she just doesn't get "play toys"... and off to the boys baseball practice.

I like him again... and I have finally quit hissing.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

plicksnop

An actual word, to an actual sound, for an actual game... that I made up. That's the sound of a Pringle's container when you plick (put) the lid on, then push (snop) it off again. The dog can even do it. The sound doesn't even scare her, and she seems most happy when she is plicksnopping, as she seems to do it over and over again... with the aid of human assistance with the plicking of the lid.

The children are no longer screaming at one another for reasons of COMPLETE INABILITY TO RELATE WITH THE HUMAN RACE, but rather because of the PLICKSNOP ATTACKS.

I will be going to get another six pack of Pringles tomorrow, after all it is only DAY 4 of Spring Break... I have to make it to the end without slicing...except cucumbers and tomatoes!

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Big, little and the things inbetween.

Day 2 of Spring Break... I'm still alive. Although I have yelled a couple of times already that there is "no fighting'' at spring break.. I believe that they understand this, but I am certain they are having processing difficulties at present, trying to master this task. The boy did understand quite clearly thought that he needed to have a clean room in order for any trampolines to be purchased. The Pipster was clear on the same fact, but quickly came back with the response that she was frightened of spiders and could not possibly attempt any feats of magic today. Her brother is going to have so much fun jumping on the trampoline without ever having to give her a turn. I did managed to get her to dust out the den earlier today.. and all was going well, until she found a spider. That's when I got out the big guns... and powered up the vacuum cleaner... and told her to keep going.

Before we even attempted going out today I managed to clean windows and kitchens... quite remarkable.. because this is me I am writing about.

We went to Fort Langley today.. and because I am highly impatient, and all about "we have legs, and we can use them".. I made them walk on the Albion Ferry that only takes 22 cars every 15 minutes, (and there's about 22 cars that would pass through "the future bridge" every 30 seconds)..... so it's a bit of a line up at all time... and then walk down to the Fort... it was all fun.. except for the fact that I made them share the boy's scooter.. which brings me back to the first paragraph about NO FIGHTING, but that didn't seem to make a difference.. it was quite windy today.. so I am sure that the wind just drifted between their ears every time I opened my mouth. Being such the great mother that I am ... I took them to the bakery for lunch. I am the QueenMother!!! I really am. The boy spotted a pizzaria and the girl spotted fish and chips..and I spotted the bakery ..... I won, because I am the person with the money, and would like to see some leftover at the end of the day... ! We shared pizza buns and little sausage rolls, plus got a treat for $5.50... you can't beat that... although I hauled around drinks and such for any type of whimpering that could have possibly happened while out... you can never be too prepared. I even managed to make it into a couple of Antique Shops.. without the chicklets noticing... I am so sly!

We marched our way back home, and hopped back on the ferry.. while the line up climbed to over an hours wait... and we headed for home.. for the boys first baseball practice. But before that... the day can not be complete without a daily dealing with the lawn... and that means raking up some of the twenty thousand pounds of moss that has amassed over the last year...so after just a short stint of cleaning torture.. I went on for more torture.. not because of the actual practice.. but because it was C-O-L-D. It was practically summer a couple of weeks back.. and now it's cold.. OK, that is just so wrong.

At the end of the day.. the Pipster and I went on our hunt to get our trampoline.. which she just wouldn't stop squealing about....I have temporarily set her in the bathtub to stop the squealing ... hopefully the really warm water will subdue the fine princess... because that happiness ever after squealing has got to stop.. I am not sure what is worse... the fighting or her happiness squealing...

Oh, and the final ... "of things not interesting, but worthy of mention" file: We went to the library yesterday.. and I am not sure how many books that "The Terry Fox Library" has.. but it has a fare amount... and the funny thing is.. a book that I bought almost 5 months ago, is the book that I took out yesterday. How is that possible? (Other than it is obvious that I do not read fast enough!)

Spring Break: And the counting continues...

Getting itchy.

Everybody around here is getting itchy... and it's not because of allergies, dry skin or bug infestations. WE all have things to do and missions to be accomplished... and since the blogger buttons are missing from my template.. I will have to create my own list.. and I haven't done that in a while.. and I must hurry...
1. I am itching to pull the weeds out of the back lawn.. (of the dandelion type)
2. I am itching for the tree man to come and chop down some trees for me.
3. I am itching for some sushi today.. and, as I found out this morning.. Mr. Husbandman secretly had some yesterday.. and didn't tell me but told the Pipster, who in turn told me.
4. I am itching to get to the store to get that trampoline.
5. The kids are making me itchy.. perhaps this is allergy related!
6. Mr. Husbandman is itching for the Pipster to tidy her room... (we will have to get some talcum powder for that itch... he's going to be dealing with it for a long long time)..
7. I am still itching for a new floor that will go in the new laundry room, but after talking to Mr. Husbandman.. he has a plan.. which all starts with trees falling in our backyard. Believe that.
8. I am itching in anticipation as to how I am going to get this trampoline home.
9. The boy is just itching to get back on this computer.. and is back here every ten seconds to complete the deal. I think he has bugs.... like ants.
10. Miss LP our littlest of creatures in the home... is itching to do nothing... because that is her job.. to shed, eat and sleep. Which she is managing quite fine at this very moment.

Monday, March 21, 2005

take that!

So, the snow hasn't done it, the rain hasn't done it, and the wind hasn't done it... but what will do it, is the tree man coming tomorrow...unless his price does it to me.. then I'm back to square one.

Day One of Spring Break:

In amongst the rain and cold weather the chicklets and I headed off to the library, where they made it a game to see how many receipts for the book checkouts they could get. I now have a detailed list stating that I owe the Public Library System $7.05 in overdue fines. Oh damn. In fact, when I got there today the original price was $5.55... that was when they first started taking out books, and by the end of their madness it had reached the next level.

Mr. Husbandman is now "in" on the trampoline thing... he has been rather hearing impaired the last number of months I have been nattering about this... and now he is scanning the advertisements for that exact item. He wasn't into nets.. and now he is... it's funny what happens when "men" go to work and talk to their work "friends"... big decisions are made ... like buying trampolines with nets..... which is what I wanted many moons ago.

Oh bananas

Some days you just have to say enough is enough. I had to say that the other day, and everyday before that as well, but the other day I really meant it. Really.

I know why my willow tree isn't falling down in my backyard... it doesn't have any reason to. I feed it very well. We have a composter back in "The Bermuda Triangle" section of our "great lands".. and it very nicely does the trick of ingesting all of the refridgerators leftovers .. (they can't be mine.. can they...?)... and all those great nutrients that would have filled our bodies, fills the earth below... and makes it's way to "The Willow Tree". Well, I have decided now that "The Tree" will never drop, ever.

The other day I finally gave in to the fact that I am not going to bake the ten loaves of Banana Bread that I would have to make to get rid of all the Bananas that had taken residence in my freezer. I was quite sad really.. I mean who knows how old these bananas were... they still looked as good as the day that I put their blackened skins into that freezer... they were prime bananas for baking with.. and I gave them all to "The Willow Tree". .....

Now I will have to start my collection all over again.

The New Me.

Oh thank you Lady Gemmak for the new improved me.

I was lost there for a little while.. so with some computer screen plastic surgery I have perked up a bit. I now have an ear, and a lime green sweater.. which I do own in real life. My hair is still bad, and that is just like real life as well.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Extra wind anyone?

We have our willow tree in our backyard that is giving me grief. It looks like this:
____________
!
!
!
!
!
!
So, for todays list of wants... I want your wind. It can be fresh wind, foul wind, four strong winds, a big wind or even a little wind, a gail force, or even the "The Wind in the Willows".. that would be suiting for this tree. Send all your wind in my direction... because this tree can not remain standing like this... or can it?

As my sister backed out my driveway this morning at 0630, I pointed to the amount of wind blowing around our parts... "see, see all the wind that we have in this corner... it needs to move up and over to my willow tree, then knock it down...." I said to my sister in the green people mover honda car....

I wont keep my fingers crossed while I am at work today, because that would be difficult task, but I will remain hopeful for a willow tree that touches the ground with more than just it's trunk.

Saturday, March 19, 2005

hmmm hmmm hmmm

Some days I just need to hum in my head, while I am at work, while I am driving, while I am being forced to listen to the chicklets at the same time... and while I wait for my taxes to be done. I am really humming over that one.

It all boils down to one thing.... to be sensible, or not.

I know that we will get a chunk of change right back at us... but then.. I have to contemplate what is the right thing to do.. do we hide it in our bank account... to make up for the "non-bank-account" issue.. or, do I just go on a magical shopping spree.. for sensible things mind you... because I can..?

And that's where the humming helps... as if droning out a little mesmerizing tune will bring about synapses to connect the dots to pathways that will lead me to sensibility... but then again... I could always bang my head and disrupt that process... and shop till I drop.. with a smile on my face. I will stop humming now.

Friday, March 18, 2005

The Friday Freezer.....

I just took a little stroll to school. It's a deepfreeze out there. I brought gloves and wore them, the whole way... and it was just the other day that the Miss Pip was playing in the sprinkler. Today is the official start to our Spring Break... this better not be confused with a Winter Break.. because the only thing I am suiting up to buy is chocolate... only chocolate and nothing else, well, except a trampoline. But that's all. Oh, and some new runners too. But that's it. Other than the new summer patio table and chairs that I have been spying. That's all. Except for the BBQ as well. I will draw a line at that. But now, that's it's turned into a deep freeze... I may not do any shopping at all, except for hot chocolate!

ON a mission...

I have fresh colour in my hair, and with that comes fresh frizz. I am beginning to think that skunks have really got more going on with that two toned thing happening. I can say that my hair is happier when it has that subtle "colour stripe" thing happening around the front of my head.. and my head of hair is more manageable then. Way more manageable. This head of hair is a ball of hair products... which none of them seem to be managing the very issues they have been applied for any form of success. As the minutes tick by.. by hair just gets bigger and messier, and frizzier... oh lucky me... I really wander what the skunks fur would look like if they coloured their stripe.. would their hair become an unmanageable mess. But then again.. I believe they have what is called fur..

Other missionable happenings... I have done some checking... and there are places that have trampolines.. available, at the asking.. so this coming week as Spring Break is officially happening around here.. the chicklets will have their own "spring break"... and that doesn't mean as in arms and legs... that simply means that they will learn how to take turns jumping on a trampoline... I will remain optimistic about the sharing... there must be documented cases of siblings sharing, there has to be.. although I have never researched that fact...

Pianoistic missions: the boy has an addtional song to play this week... the theme from The Addams Family. This has pleased me to no end.. the boy will now willingly play the piano .. in the mornings, after school, before he goes to bed.. when ever a whim hits him... so I am wishing for many whimful works on the way.

And.. missions that are paying off... the Miss Pipster attempted to put her runners on today with out the torture of her calling to me every 2 1/2 seconds..... although she wasn't met with success of actually getting them on... she did attempt to actually bend over and touch her runner at the same. I was most impressed.

Last but not least.. the impossible mission.... I was looking to put the girl back into swimming lessons.. and they didn't have a class available for her, but they had one for her brother.... that would have been a wonderful cruel joke... "hey kids.. you get to go swimming... and for you young son.. you get to go swim during your lessons"... kindness counts, in all ways.. I held off on this wonderful surprise.

Mission impossible: Digital Camera in my hands.. now. On that note.. I will go and scrub the bathroom....that's the next in missions impossible.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

One last thing...

Is it fair to shut the door with the littlest of german shepherd of dogs that really is a cat-dog and sleeps with a beautiful mint green comforter in a cushioned wicker basket in the same space as a snoring husbandman? Get back to me on that one. Now, when I looked at her resting all peaceful like, and curled up in her basket.. she appeared to be in state of sleepiness.... so I am wondering if dogs, or her, which is more like a catdog are bothered by people noises like snoring.. because I certainly know that this person is.

Holy schmolley

There are somedays when I have posts wander in and out of my head on a regular basis.. and they are lost... due to the slugworthy reactions of this blogger system... I considered not being here right now.. just simply due to that it seemed too much of an effort for the blogger system to open a page...but, being that I have had some stress ease vitamins today on top of a regular hard core multivitamin I have some semblance of patience. Only some, and I have just wasted it on the blogger system. Everything else now will result in hysterical reactions... and the 10 year old boy almost bought one a couple of moments ago... so he did the right thing.. and made it into bed in the nick of time. Lucky boy.

So.. back to business....

Today was report card day... I, being one of the parent's in the home was pleasantly pleased by what I saw, although... I am not totally convinced that my boy's marks are an absolute / accurate reflection of his abilities. Anyways... as he went trampling through the front door of our little house, he immediately went to Miss L.P's cage, and let her out. (She likes her cage, and I like her in her cage.. because she is a bit cagey herself when she is not in it, and we are out...hey, if I screw up now with her, it's now a case of one dog down, and one dog to go... and can't have that!) ..... so the boy starts talking to her in that grover voice from sesame street... Hey LP, I got bunch of A's LP.. what do you think about that LP...??? (as LP just frantically runs about the kitchen just because she can...)... then she flies up to him, and throws the boy her paw...then runs away.... but on a whim she runs back to him... and that's when I start.... ( with my own Grover voice going on).... "That's great boy.. but what are A's... are they new dogs coming to live here... because if they are, then I don't like A's.. just tell me what A's are boy"... ... as she then frantically goes out and runs down her ramp into the back yard... and that was only the first 5 minutes home from school in our house today.

In other non-interesting news... I really want to know why a telephone company who offers internet/email service is unable to email me a consolidated telephone statement... why Telus, why, why can't you email me a statement.... just tell me why!!!??? Plain and simple.. they just don't do it. Ok, that's screwy. So the fine Telus representative FAXED me copies of my phone bills, because I asked her to... but she wanted to charge me $1.00 a page... and she was going to mail them. That's when I asked her about the email service that this REALLY BIG CORPORATION runs... and why is it that they can't do it... she was going into a meeting this very afternoon.... and she would ask that very question.. I will never know the answer... all I know is that by the time I got the FAX... 4 pages turned into 15 pages... and when I was finally able to print it.. it had peaked at 52 pages needing to be printed. I kid you not. I used my newly coloured dark head of hair to formulate a new plan to retrieve my Telus phone bills.. I went into my home banker, and just looked at the payments section... it took me all of 2 minutes to write it all down... once again.. Telus.. thanks for nothing.... and if you wouldn't mind.. you can throw me a new ink cartridge my way.

Also... I used a little white person humour on the Tae Kwon Do Master (Korean).. he stopped me and told me that my boy was going to test for his red belt in April.... and then I asked him if that was in 2006 or 2007... I had him kind of stumped there for a moment.... I can't believe that I actually pay this person money... but ... the boy is happy... and the class that he attends is actually learning, and the boy actually likes this instructor, and my boy actually tries, and the kids in the class are showing signs of respect, and there is order to this class, and if I keep writing this stuff I will once again stay at the school where we are at... instead of leaving and perhaps getting better instruction some place else... but it isn't about me... because my boy walks out of that class with a smile... and as far as I know.. that's more than money can by.

And it gets even more useless: Any moment now I will become hungry... I am creating a lovely loaf of WHITE BREAD in the breadmaking machine... and when it begins to bake....it's gonna kill me...the aroma will waft up to me and tickle me just under my nose ....and then I may have to slice.... I just know it.

Another thing... I could be stuck here all night.. for the Mr. Husbandman has gone to bed.. and it's 10:27... and he's snoring... so that's not going to be good.. the writing is on the wall for that one.. I will have to start scanning the late night TV shows now... a snoring bug and fresh bread out of the bread maker... this is what nightmares are made up of folks.

I am actually frightened to walk away from this page, as it may be the last time that I make it back...the blogger world seems to be having a little crisis on it's hands, or it's own computer related hissy fit... it is incredibly slow..(it has nothing to do with me.. NEVARRRR!!!)... so it's the 3 P & 1 C for me... posting, publishing, panicking, and cursing. I will now attempt a removal of the hands from the keyboard...

Oh, not quite yet.. another useless thought that needs to be detailed for future reference.... We went on a rather smallish field trip today with The Pipsters class. We went to the City Hall. It was nice.. yes.. nice if you were a new member to the city, and needed to know the inner workings of how this "level of government" works. I was most interested in the Mayor.. and was fascinated at his inability to speak to a large group of kids that were seven years old..... do most seven year olds know what "iniatives" are ... and it was most interesting watching him talk looking towards the ground, but with his eyebrows kind of raised... it was all very interesting to me.. but he did win in the end... because he handed out pencils, pins and colouring books... that was the hilight for me.

I am being drowned by wafts of odorus waves of white bread calling out to me... over and out for now... I wish for a safe return....

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Great things are happening.

I have taken matters into my own hands. Things have started to happen around here.. and it's only a matter of time before it results in change. I believe I am turning into a dog... because I am starting to bark orders..."Order me up some new windows Mr. Windowmanhusband"... Yes, those sorts of statements. Not that I know what to do with a window once it safely arrives home with Mr. Windowman husband... but none the less... it will be in my posession, so I will be able to bark an order about that.... "Put it in!" I am looking forward to that one.. I will practice it in my sleep.

My sister is getting in on the act of my renovation... because it seems like we are always at "Home Depot" for some reason or another.. and she is helping me to pick up flooring samples, that are all the same sample. I am going to duct tape the new sample to our 40 year old floor today, to begin my renovation process. Mr. Meticulas-reno-man should have quite the hissy fit over that. He may not notice the paint chip samples I will have stapled to the wall. I am so excited... let the reno's begin!!

Good for something:

I really wonder about these children of mine. They never seem to go to bed, and they never seem to wake up. I wonder what would happen if I just left them.. would they notice? I am their personal alarm clock attendant & the person that glues their lamps off at night. Occasionally I am successful at keeping their lights out.. although Mr. Husbandman is better ..... I am not certain of what his secret is... and he has no intentions of telling me... because I have asked.

There is a small motivation to go to bed only occasionally....just so Miss Pipster can get up in the morning and look at the scrapbook pages that I create (throw together) down at the Debbie's Scrapbooking Extravaganza house. Also, I have now left my magic purple box at one of the Debbie's... only because I need to find a way to port my equipment back and forth... so until that time... my purple box is hiding on a shelf. Which could be a major trauma if I decided to do a stat scrapbooking session.... which would be similar to winning a lottery... not likely.

Now, on second thoughts on this morning wake-up routine.... Mr. Husbandman took a great amount of time and patience to show the girl her homework on vowels and consonants.... which ended in a early departure to bed.. (I am beginning to find out some of his secrets..) ... and now she is back at it.... puzzling about with her little blondness, completing the worksheet.... now I am wishing she just stayed locked in her princess palace bedroom.... it was much safer then.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

The one and only

I had the most wonderful experience of standing in a line-up today. This line up was a tiny bit long, and not by people, but long in lost experiences.

I stood, quietly and yet kind of quivering in excitement... with new velum stickers, a corner rounder and a new pack of paper. So perhaps I could have vibrating as well, but it was a silent vibration, I just know it.

Along came some people behind me.... the boy had a popsicle with two colours, and there was lots of chatter about that. LOTS. Then of course the slurping that went with the popsicle eating. Slurp- ha, chatter chatter, slurp- ha, chatter chatter.. and on and on it went... and then...something happened ... a very familiar sound came back to haunt me.... someone with chewing gum, stood right behind me.. and chewed and smacked and chattered... for a long long time.

These two people were there very own orchestra. Chew chatter slurp smack. Chew chatter slurp smack, chew chatter slurp smack. I have to say, I was quite proud of myself that I was able to maintain control of my disgust for the length of the line up.... and safe in the knowledge that I would probably never have to listen to that noise again... except if I went back in time to a place called Tae Kwon Do and on the bench there sat a woman, and for the whole hour that was the exact sound that we listened to. Although...that was more of a chew chew chew smack.... a feast for ones ears, and a test of ones patience...

So, upon leaving Micheals (the craft/scrapbooking experience)... I had the wonderful opportunity to feast my eyes on the worst dressed person in Port Coquitlam today..... black spiked shoes, black nylons, black spandex leggings, a large light pink sweater that slithered to the side of one shoulder.. and wait for it.... yes... I will say it... greenish coloured leg warmers. This poor unsuspecting soul was an award winner today without even knowing it.

Uh - oh... it's almost sunny

Yesterday ... enough was enough. I clearly realized that the blondie-Pipster does not understand seasons. She just doesn't get that you "are not" supposed to be able to play in the sprinkler while we are still under the heading of "winter-time". She has been asking for weeks... "weeks"... to go in the sprinkler....and every day I had to come up with a new excuse as to how come she wasn't allowed. It had nothing to do with the fact that wouldn't I look like the prize parent of all, letting the child run in her bathing suit in the winter time..... and then... I paused....

Yes, it's winter time technically... but it has also been up to 19*C some days... so why wouldn't a blond 7 year old not want to go in the sprinkler? I had to think like a 7 year old for a moment, or ten.... "Yes Fuss... off you go girl, you play in that sprinkler till your hearts content" ... "I'll have your hot chocolate ready when you are done playing..."

That girl was ever so cold yesterday after her sprinkler episode... and it actually wasn't that cold outside.. I am hoping that she might have just learned what winter kind of is. Well, it is sunny out again this afternoon.. you never know!!

I am...

I am temporarily missing. Well, my photo is, not me, as in personally missing. I have talked to the people (a lady in a far off place!) that take care of this kind of stuff, and I have been assured that things will resume some form of normalcy after a visit to the parents. I am OK with that.... I can be missing for a while.. I don't even think I will even really notice. Of course if I was personally missing... I am hoping that someone would have something to say about that.

Speaking of missing... where did all my magic buttons go from this blogger thing... what happens if I want to talk boldly.. or in a large fontly manner.. I am missing those options at the moment...and how do you locate that kind of stuff in space... ? It may just be easier to remain missing.

It's always...

Something. That is the answer that I use for most things, that it is "something". It's good for the regular questions.. "what is that?" , "why are we going there?", "what is this?". It's a good replacement word... when you can't find the exact word for clear concise descriptions.. it can be a "something". And what about showing off... it's a great showing off word, and it can be a she or a he. It can be pretty much anything you want it to be.... isn't that "something?" Something helps you to think... "wouldn't it be something....", see it's that magical "replacement word" factor again. It's a helpful little something something...! But then, of course... it's a great word for an excuse. "Something" happened, that's how come I am late... it is always something that holds me up, but nothing in particular that I would like to speak of... so it's the perfect excuse. Managing the excitement about something takes a lot of restraint.. so when I had to give my friend details about this blogging... it was certainly something to talk about.. And what about eating... it gives free reign for pretty much anything in the diet... "how about a little something?"... which translates to: please go and get a double fudge brownie with no calories... It lends itself to the imagination... think of "something"... and while I am thinking of something... I have something to say..... which isn't something new...

I will use this exact word... "something" has kept me from writing for the past four days, which has been nothing in particular, but it has kept me from the keyboard. There was always something that diverted my attention, or zapped my imagination which left me doing other things. Then of course there were the afterwork obligations which gave "something" else to do rather than write here... so once again.. something was always happening. Of course, at one point something else caught my attention and I spent time doing something else... which I am very good at!

Needless to say, everytime I came to this exact spot.. something came up... I am hoping that the next couple of days will be free of somethings and full of somethings... but mostly I am hoping for something to appear before me... about something, or another... but that's a whole other subject.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

A couple of things...

I have something going right... I have hair colour on the shelf in the bathroom, unused and the right colour. Hopefully I will find my way to slather it on my head.

In other things going right: I found the reason as to why my stuff on top of the dryer was all dusty-ish. The vent had popped off. That was troubling.. especially when I went to vacuum up the 3 years and 5 new dogs later amount of dryer dust... and the I looked at our vacuum hose... and it is in great need of going to the vacuumcleaner hose heaven. ... so... things going right.... I had just enough duct tape in the homestead to wrap around the vacuum hose and clean up the fine mess of dryer dust. I, yes I, I managed to put the vent back together. I did it. I had to... because nobody else was going to come to my rescue.... the Mr. Backtowork broken back man was not going to be able to crawl over the dryer scrunch behind the washer and squish to get the hose put back on... I had to do it. Luckily I had conveniently put the wooden box of my Bocce Balls right next to the dryer... because after I got the dryer put back into proper positioning with hoses intact... I was stuck behind the washer. Great.. but all things going right... I was able to heave ho over the laundering equipment, step on the Bocce ball box and continue on with the laundering process... which created a huge amount of thankability that came later in the day..... when "jeans" needed to be cleaned before the AM arrived.

Also... a job of jobs to be done, and never to be noticed or thanked... I managed to clean out one of the shelves (in the soon to be renovated as ORDERED by the wife), in the laundryroom.. and that's a whole bag of shoes to be given to the school, which is doing a fund raiser by collecting peoples old clothes and such.

And yet another thing going right... inbetween dryer repairs and being trapped by laundryroom items, I managed to throw together a document for the PAC (parent advisory committee).. in a very single afternoon... and had it back to the school before 3 PM.

Another thing going right is the 15 year old suv has stopped making that expensive sounding sputtering noise... Mr. Smartman figured that out.. so now it purrs like a kitten, which not only makes me happy, but the cat-loving-queen-of-a-daughter that lives here enjoys that very sound.

On more things going right... the weather is sandle weather.. so the girl can manage her very own shoes... and no knives have to be waved around the kitchen, other than just for cutting bread... now that's something going right.

I bought a plant today that is rather shade loving.. and got it at 30 % off... which is good, because I was going to buy it the other day... and it was not on such a good sale! Now, hopefully, with lovely Cicely bossing around all the dogs, and lowlife creatures that may cross her path in dog heaven.. the spot where I planted this plant will have a chance to grow.

I read in the local paper that the bears are waking up.... so, we will have to be wary of scruffy black objects once again...

And last but not least.. on a whim tonight I went down to the Debbie's minus one Debbie to throw pictures, papers and stickers together.. and call it scrapbooking.. all in all I managed to do 4 pages. Not bad for a whimful moment.

I must go ... and do some special prayer... in an effort to repeat the motions from today.... if only I could find some kind of special prayer book.... other than the stand by that I happen to use very often... "Oh, please God....for Christ sake.. can something please go right"... that's a favourite of mine....

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

The absolute worst...

I was at the dentist earlier today.. it was nothing more than to have my teeth scraped, just for my every three month maintenance interruption of the day program. There was no actual dentist involved in this visit, which is fine by me. Although, the next time he sees me he will have a bulk of work on his hands.. there is a broken wisdom tooth sitting there.... just daring him to yank it out. Which he will do, because he has done those kinds of things before. This kind of work excites him and kills him at the same time. He has told me time and time again that he personally hates that tooth, but he can't take it out, because the two wisdom teeth are my only contact points on the left side. Hmmm... I have had braces... twice before... something has gone amuck. I have straight teeth with no bitability.... which I seem to be losing out on.. because now this lovely wisdom tooth is in the process of doing it's very own extraction. But that's not what I am here to write about, this is.....

As I sat in the "hygiene" chair, (except when I see her, I say Hi Theresa, alright... that's a painful pun, but worthy of a mention...)... anyways.. I can hear all kinds of talking.. from the patient.. with a mouth of of instruments, and flushers, and washers, and drool catchers, and rubber dams filling that space... but this person was still able to talk.. ( I think they forgot the cotton roll things).... So that started me thinking... SHUT UP!!! ... you're at the freaking dentist.. there's nothing to talk about, at all. Unless of course they whap you with something hot.. which is what happened to me...and I have the scar on my lipstick filled lip to proove it. ( I wasn't very happy that day.. now I have instances where my lipstick misses, and floops, and then I have a bit of an "Ooops with the lipstick thing" sort of happening some days if I am not careful) .... so unless those types of things are going on.. wave your hand for freaks sake. And close that open mouth of noise. There is nothing more annoying to listen to than this: waaaayy aaaaaa IIII wwwaaaSS ssaaaaayyiiinggggg IIII ddddooonnnn'ttttt lllliiiikkkkkeeeeee ffffrreeennnnn aaannnniillllaaaa hhooffffeeee. See, it's bloody painful to even try and read, let alone have to listen to. That's the absolute worse. Wait.. on that thought...there is the possibility of course they twang you in a space where no toothbrush has seen the surface/crevice since the last visit to lady hygiene.. who goes by Lady Theresa. That might be the absolute worst.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Scared..but only kind of.

So... I'm all on my lonesome, for only a short while. I have to be at my group in just over an hour, and I do not believe that I will create some form of disaster in my home in that time. It will all happen after the three oclock hour.. once the chicklets get home. See, I really am a good parent.. passing blame onto their children.. tsk.

I wish I had a dog that would eat crumbs, rather than look at me like I am passing off another piece of poison at her. So I do have some crumbs that I have to clean up... some little biscuit and cheese package that Mr. Shoppingman bought for the queenly child for a treat in her lunch. Nice treat.. he knows what he is doing... he knew those packages would drive me to haul out the largest knife in the drawer and try to rip them apart that way that makes packages explode. Then I backed up from the counter to look at my fine floor creation.. just to step on a smallish pile of biscuits hiding behind my foot. I have crumbs... and no one to eat them.

Speaking of knives.. it's not safe to have a hissy fit about putting runners on the feet of an almost 8 year old girl... who insists that she can not possibly put the runners on her feet. So, as I stand having a wrapper attack, then I turn and am holding a huge knife... (even better parenting skills here)... so I turn to her and yell... "great, now I am yelling at you with a knife in my hand!" Luckily the package exploded, so I was able to put the knife down... I am my own comedy of errors.

And from other scarey tales before nine oclock.. the dentist calls. They were confirming my appt for tomorrow, and the chicklets. Of course then I tell her in a real hurry because we are now quickly departing for school after the runner incident... and apologize but have to cancel the kids appt for three in the afternoon. Silence. "You need to give 48 hours notice", she says. Yes, I thought of that Friday night.. but you were closed. "Yes, we would have taken that into account" she replies. "When did you open?" I asked her. "At 8:30", she answers. "Oh, so you would have just found out the information about the cancellation 15 minutes ago, that I would have left on Friday night over 48 hours ago?, I ask her. "Yes", she says confidently. "Well, I am now 15 minutes late from cancelling from Friday night... what else would you like me to do?....I ask. She was silent. I have had my fill of little receptionists invading my ear space and pissing me off, this poor girl didn't have a chance. I will not apologize.

So, back to the original story of the day..... it's all about leftovers, and my thoughts about them. See, when you have left overs.. it is exactly as it is stated. Left overs. Does that mean the left overs get eaten into right unders? I am not for certain... but I am having some trouble digesting that. I also know that there is always someone left out with left overs. If someone went without dinner on the "actual dinner date", then that person goes without once again because of the left overs. So, if that person thought you were cruel once to create the "dinner that has leftovers", then that person will really begin to start taking it personally when it arrives for a second time, even to be despised even more. I am not sure what action should be taken on this. If the person is truely "down and out" over being left out of the family dinner adventure, is it fare to start creating something that will spark their digestive interests. Because really, leftovers were invented to ease the burden of the "disorganized" and "un-talented" in the kitchen. If there wasn't a spark in the beginning... there still wont be one now. Is it at this point that I pull out the pot, boil up the water, and dump the spaghetti in?.... of course I have reservations about that one... because I know there isn't enought ketchup to go around for sauce.... and even with the left overs happily waiting in the fridge, this boring pot of spaghetti will become the attention grabber of the day... and truely the left overs will be leftover leftovers. And that's embarassing.
All of this and more... has me scared.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Nobody knows..

It's all tragedy here.. all the time. This is the next one I have to live through. Mr. Brokenback is going back to work tomorrow. I will miss him, and all his clean ways. He is very tidy... which impresses me greatly. There is never that lived in look at our house when he is around. you know the kind of messes that follow you... tea bag on the tea bag dish, spoon in the sink, papers on the counter from the mail, bags from grabbing a couple of groceries, the pillows on the couch out of place by the stuffed cats (or rather the stuffed cats owner.. the Pipster), the boys big size 8 runners, and his backpack with his coat draped over top of it. Yes, that kind of lived in stuff.

I am going to have to go it alone this week. I am frightened. The dishes and papers are going to start hanging around... and it will all scare me. I am going to have to confer as to what the meal of the day will be.... because I am going to have to start preparing them again. I am so out of touch... a week of him being at home has ruined me... or wait a minute.. I think I was like this to start. Silly me!

Starting tomorrow... reality begins once again for myself and the chicklets, and the horror show continues for Mr. Brokenback.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

Complaint Department

I will need to pause this blog for a temporary adventure to the great outdoors. I seem to have had a complaint come through. From not who you might think... but from someone who is stuck working all day today... because she is crazy... not to mention the people that she has to work with... (he he he he) I think I will yellow tag all of the locations of trouble spots in my backyard... for Mr. Brokenback, once his back feels better and he can things again. (there are many... it may look like a constant rising sun by the time I am through)... I am not sure how big of a target that I can put on the broken willow tree outside. I believe that Mr. "Icandoeverything" is very well aware of the tree that needs to be felled before he can build the shed out back. Of course none of that will be happening while he is busy having a disc-related "broken back" injury. In the meantime... I will just go yellow tag everything.. in an effort to accomplish something of real value today... because afterall it is between the 2 - 5 period.. where I am supposedly normalish.

The big picture window

We have a big front window.. and it faces down the street.. all the way to the end. I see things from both sides of the street... as I am inside the curve corner crescent dweller, which gives me the great view.

I used to see what our friends were watching on television, but our neighbours tree has finally just obstructed that view, they never watched anything good anyways. And, on the flip side, one night for fun I set a candle on the table and turned out the lights... they eventually called and wanted to know why we were being all gross and romantic. I came clean and told them it was a ploy.... just to see how long it would take for them to call over. I can see when my girl goes and visits down at her friends house The Pickaspat's.. and Mrs. Pickaspat waves to me.. just to make sure she got there. (On that very name-tale.. I have to say they aren't very Pickaspat worthy of their name at the moment... I will have to see if I can bump up the spatability factor in their relationship...endless hours shopping at scrapbooking store, and some night's out at "The Debbie of all scrapbooking places".. to see if that works!!!) Oh, and I can see the trail... where it takes us to another street that keeps us on our path of adventures to school...I can even see all the way down the street at the couple that got married on the same day we did, even the same year, we even live in similar homes.. so it's a big window, that captures many details to life.

Speaking of capturing... we have a friend who is a "newish" kind of cop... he spends 4 nights of his life protecting the mean streets of "The City"... and when he returns from his shift and makes his way home.. you would think his detail for capturing criminals might be done. Not so... as I witnessed from "The Big Window"... he comes home to find two misfits shlepping off with some poor persons BBQ.... the misfits trade their freedom for the BBQ and take off running.. so now Mr. Copman has a new old BBQ waiting to find it's way home.

And in other big window picture items of detail: Mr. Pickaspat was out walking his lovely dog while Mr. Copman was busy capturing stolen BBQ's... and I got a birds-eye-view of how well the almost big dog but still pup behaves nicely on the leash for him.... good job Mr. Pickaspat.... and see.. this all happens in front of The Big Picture Window.

A simple wish from last week.

A list of things I wish for:

A new kitchen
A new digital camera
A tidy house
A house keeper
A cabinet in the den
A new livingroom carpet
With new furniture to match
And while I am at it…
Some pictures to fill the walls
A remodeled “little” bathroom
A shed outback
An extra room off the remodeled kitchen
A trampoline
A new laundry room, with shelves to put all my plants on
I wish for a stained glass window to go above my antique china cabinet
I wish for some of my neighbour’s to disappear
I wish for a fully stocked craft room
I can wish for many things.. but when it comes right down to it, sometimes you only want a wish for peace of mind… and that’s even hard to find… somedays.
And that was all last week.

Should I or shouldn't I?

I have contemplated that many times over. I over-rationalize, and then under-rationalize, put things back into perspective and start the process over again. The final answer usually comes to me with the inability to manage the mane upon my head. That is how I determine whether or not I should go to work.. where there is a whole pile of sick people. Sick as in sick because of body systems breaking down.. and people nursing them back to health. Me, I'm not one of those, but all the same I am around places where sick people go. So today, I decided not to go to work.. because I have this obnoxious little cold that is living inside of me. Besides all that... I looked at myself in the mirror... and clearly, had I gone to work, the hair would have been unworkable. It would have been a scene unknown to those in the working "white" building. I would have been asked to go home please... your kind is not welcome here.

My friend called me this morning and wanted to know if she woke me up.. that was at 0930. No, I always sound this fresh and lively at this time of day... "it's a good thing that you didn't go to work" she ways.... "the croak of your voice would have had people fearing for their lives". So, for two reasons now I have not made it into work, ugly hair and a bad voice. But, I should say, I do have a good time of day... between 2 - 5 pm... when the tiredness of the morning leaves me, and the tiredness of the afternoon has not set in... in the meantime... I am at home, doing homely things with a husband that does Saturdayish things like make pancakes and sausages for the children... I should be sick on Saturdays more often, I think. No, I couldn't live with that many badhair days.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

It's all blood and guts.

Have you seen them coming your way? All the blood and guts.. that's what I am asking about. They must have made it past you....because with all the noise and commotion that went on... with one simple question... you would have thought that someone was ripping out someones' guts out. It's all true. So is the question as to whether my girl would like to join the swim team this year. I took that response as a casual, but not yet confirmed "no." Clearly belonging to a swim team equates to a horror show... of the cheapest quality. "Please don't slice miss 7 year old Pipster....perhaps I'll ask you on a sugary high kind of moment.. maybe I will get a yes". The only reason that I would like the girl to glide through water is for the simple reason.. . although you may have never seen her walk on this earth.. I have. I was hoping for some form of coordination enhancement with a routine of laps in a pool. I was hoping. But for now it's all blood and guts, so she will have to remain a long legged blond Pipster, that looks good in all colours of the rainbow... with beautiful blue eyes.....but for now.. she's stuck wearing red.

Too late for Tylenol

Some days you make choices that you are going to dread.. or kind of dread, or just wish for better times ahead.. yes that's it. I wish for better times ahead with my head. I decided to have Smirnoff Ice.. because for number one they are delicious, and number two.. because I felt like having one. Well, I felt like having one just as I had to make a thoughfelt observation/choice as to whether or not I really had a headache. And I really do. Right now. With an empty Smirnoff Ice bottle. So I guess on those terms it wouldn't be a wise choice to suck back one of my favourite 650 mg of Tylenol Extended Release tabs... that wouldn't be wise.. but then.. I don't believe I am as much as a wise ass as I am a smart ass. All the same... it's too late for Tylenol. I wonder what a second dose of Smirnoff Ice would do... other than put me into a deep dark coma... and then I would have to miss Survivor.. and I can't miss Survivor... that's how I survive until each and every Thursday.. is knowing that Survivor will be coming on. Christ .. my head hurts even thinking about that....

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Being big.. all the time.

I have a certain way I do things around here. Everything has a way of going down, and it's my own methodical approach that keeps me waste deep into the many details of life. Like the way I make my bread, in my breadmaker, which was given to... me. Of course Mr. Showoffhusband bread making king believes that he makes a better loaf than me... at all times. Which I say... BMOC to you. "Big Man On Campus.. all the time all the time". (and that's no typo)..... and that's the way it is around here... nothing forgotten, and nothing forgiven. So, tonight... after he had taken the dog for a walk, and taken the girl to her most hated activity of the century... soccer practice, and then made dinner and cleaned up.. and then gave me a nice plate of dinner.... I took the bread out of the bread maker.... his response..... " I see that you had to open the lid to get my loaf out.., not like the loaf you made the other day.. where the lid did it's own self lifting thing.. but that was a nifty trick. Oh, and I see that mine didn't dip in the middle like yours did after it cooled down because yours had that huge top it had on it". Yes, that's right people.. he's big, he's big and bastardly... I am not sure if I got written permission from him to even use my breadmaker... this has to stop. His bigness is beginning to really bother me, big time.

Pray for rain.... pray hard...

This Sunday is the last game of the season for the lady Pipster and all her fine soccer talents. All going well with this little blast of rain clouds that we are having, it may last until the weekend... and these cities have very nasty habits of cancelling games, to "protect the field from over use". I love the cities for their care and compassion about these vast green fields that the kids play on, of course they don't give a crap about (or have any knowledge of) the parking lots that the parents and grandparents walk through and practically break an ankle due to the fine balancing act through the deep and plentiful pot holes. Of course the mere words of cancellation sounds so sad. It would be sad, if you loved playing soccer.. which our Pip clearly doesn't, she doesn't at all, in fact.. with our help as parents we have turned her into a life long soccer despising advocate. I can just see her now... at the soccer sign up... "Just say NO to soccer"... Next year we will not be putting our Pip into soccer... or the year after, or the year after that. I am not certain about why she doesn't like soccer it may be the running, or the confusion as to what to do with the ball, or a whole bunch of girls shuffling in your direction...but, I did manage to see her run the other day.. which has been forefront in my mind..... I mean after you watch a child walk across the soccer field while playing a game.. it's troubling to think that she clearly can't run... so when I quizzed her about her running abilities...she says to me.."Oh, I like to run, especially when I am happy, but that soccer doesn't make me want to run at all".... like I said ... pray for rain.

Coffee if you please.

My husband... who can do many things, has folded up his coffee pot ways. The other day he managed to make himself the meanest cup of coffee that it left him buzzing for two days. I kid you not. ... it all starts off.....
He decides to make a pot of coffee, after a around the clock diet of Advil and Tylenol Extra Strength tablets and a television set.. (because of a bulging-disking back issue that leaves you horizontal for three days straight, and after only a momentary trip verticle puts you almost 6 1/2 feet under)... but he was able to stand long enough to build coffee. I think it was this exact moment when he felt well to feeling unwell once again. Yes, it's confusing for me too.

So, the not thinking fine Mr. Husband proceeds to add probably 10 heaping tablespoons of coffee to 5 cups of water, drinks it all and then complains. "I don't feel well... my heart is just pounding.. and I am all jittery"...Now, me being the kind and lovely wife that I am, immediately starts putting together a jigsaw puzzle of factors in my head.... something similar to this..... (for christs-sake.. you can build homes, take apart clutches in driveways, and put together turkey dinners.. and you can't friggin make a pot of coffee... freaking moron).... and because I am kind of OCDish.. I continue on inside my head.....(look buddy, if you are now looking for sympathy.. you get none, it was all used up last week when you came home with the broken back issue, and once again, when I took the boy over to my mom's house while I was at work all day Saturday, then when I brought you home Sushi for dinner, and then once again, when I was worried about how you would manage on the Sunday with just you and the girl while I was at work.. then of course.. if you were going to be able to make it to the doctor... and now that you are complaining of being jittery after a pot of coffee... but you are still pink, and you can talk, and you are not short of breath, and you are not feeling any other symptoms of a heart attack, or any other heart related issue.. then you my "Mr. Good-at-everything"... are on your own... get over it, drink a big glass of milk, eat a hunk a cheese.. go neutralize your caffeine ravaged system...I HAVE NO MORE SYMPATHY TO HAND OUT TODAY!!).

He is much better now. Although there has been a name change in the family ... he is now known as Mr. Decaf.

A graduate...

Our little Miss Ellpee dog has graduated. The incident that left her caged for 3 weeks the first weeks of November, then inside bound following that time has now past.... she has spent the last number of months leashed the very second that her nose hits the great outdoors. Until now. Miss Ellpee now goes out of the house by herself. My little Pipster had something to say about that, of course that was after she went into heart failure... and then brought herself around from it. "You are going to kill her" she shreaked.... "how can you kill our last dog??... get her back here... I can't talk to you... how can I be in the same home with you... you dog killing mommy!!!" That was my Pips reaction to Miss Ellpee going outside... I quickly had to do damage control... apparantley there was lots ot be done. Pip did realize that Ellpee wasn't going to fall over that very second and croak.... a rather oops on my part...

Anyways.. now that Miss Ellpee is free to roam our wild praries on her very lonesome... it is comical to watch her antics while she spends the whole 47 seconds out there. Half that time is spent standing on the deck wagging her tail every so slowly back and forth, followed by a slight intermission of dog details... then a scoot back to the sliding glass door... where her eyes practically bulge out of her head in terror that we have already forgotten her. I open up the door... and it is with great relief as she enters and wags her tail like she has spent hours wandering along our great lands and has finally come home to rest. She runs to her cage and sits on her pillow to rest. My little German Shepherd is a graduate.