Thursday, August 29, 2013

wish wish away

That's the title for today.

I wish for a ton of things in my life .. who doesn't ... who wouldn't?

Maybe it is more for wanting ... I want for a great many things in this life .. who wouldn't .. who doesn't?!

Currently I am wishing for the big  FURRY boy to stop digging holes ... in the NOW ugly back yard. Now that's a definite wish.

I was talking to my friend the other day ... she said to me that it was way way way easier to follow along on this blog .. only because she knew me in person. Otherwise .. I guess I can only guess that the lines of wordisms get a bit scattered and scary .... and sort of leaves the reader question the writers sanity.

Fair enough.

I'm sorta crazy ISH. I'm guessing .. this time .. I will not be wishing on that thought. But I have this:

In other things:

Let me see ... let me see ...

So I went to a wedding on Saturday. I was the last person to be invited. I know that because I walked into the wedding while waiting for the boy .. who was invited to play at the wedding, except he didn't end up playing. Not that he couldn't play .. at the end of all the waiting .... there was a system malfunction with the equipment. He packed up his keyboard in the middle of the dance floor (an outdoor wedding) ... while people danced all around him. Interesting. Then we left.

Earlier in the moment:

The young servers were passing around desserts .. I decided to pass on my dessert since I was now sitting in someone elses abandoned seat ... however ... I passed my dessert to the superiorly skinny video taping guy ... he liked desserts A LOT. The second time around with dessert I passed him mine again, which  still wasn't mine anyways. That video guy looked like he needed to eat at least three peoples dinners and desserts to make up for lost time spent not eating at other functions in his life. This is the business he is in ... so he attends a lot of weddings ... eating desserts .... but probably not this amount ... especially when the keyboardists mother shows up and starts rounding up desserts for the poor soul! Except he didn't look poor ... he just looked like he could afford to eat many many desserts ... for days on end. Then the wedding people started their first dance ... the faceplant boys were up next ... albeit only two of them. That is generally how I think of them .. singlely ... or in multiples. Good thing I was dressed in my regular attire of khaki coloured cropped pants, with my matching polar fleece vest. THANK GAWD for polar fleece vests .. in the summer time. It was brisk ... now this late into the evening ..

Earlier into the event ...

I wished the Bride and Groom happiness .. as I walked past ... , they offered me food drink and desserts ... and made it to where the Jim was sitting with of course a random stranger .. nice guy. The Jim says .. "why does this not surprise me that you are here ?" So I  sat down .... I introduced myself as the driver ... oh .. which I was also his mother. The tables looked pretty .. as the backyard was getting dark ... so the candles were now being lit.

Just prior to the invitation:

I was rolling along the road to which the address of the wedding was taking place. I saw the lead singer from the band .... and asked if they had The Jim tied up to a tree ... and where they done yet ? The lead singer said they hadn't sang yet .. but they were up next .. after the first dance. In the meantime ... the lead singer, who's girlfriends mother was getting remarried and her two sister and their dates were all out taking iphone instagrams ... well ... I am not doing anything ... even if I were to drive home NOW .. I would have to turn around and come back for the Jim ... in what .. an hour ? They all agreed .. I took photos of the six of them .. and in couples .. with their phones ... they all suggested I should just go to the wedding and wait in there .. instead of driving around looking for things to do ...

As I returned from an errand:

I was waiting on the Jim to be finished with his gig ...I decided to take some photos for instagram, and found a couple cool photos .. as the sun was setting, ... I then drove down a side street and saw what looked to be a mentally challenged fellow out delivering newspapers ... I thought to myself ... whoa ... does he have someone with him ... how is managing that massive cart of newspapers ... so I scanned the horizon for a car or person that would have been following him ... which I did not see. So I continued on doing what I was doing ... until I heard "excuse me" ... in somewhat of a slight accent .. and there stood before was a young man loaded down with a massive suitcase, and a duffle bag slung over his shoulder, holding onto a phone. He asked if he could use my phone ... as his didn't have a sim card .. the other one (which he pulled out) was dead ... he was fresh off the plane from Austria ... had travelled to Lang.ley on a bus from Y.VR, had been wondering around Lang.ley for three hours ... and was completely lost. He was trying to make it to his friends place ... where he was going to stay for a week, before he went back to U.BC for the second year of his Engineering Physicist program. We texted his friend ... eventually made contact ... got the guys address, we hauled his 10,000 pounds of suitcase into my car ... with him holding my phone handing me directions ... delivered him to his friends house ... and I let him drink all my flavoured water .. cause I assured him I hadn't drank any ... I decided that despite me just getting new glasses in April ... clearly I wasn't seeing what I thought I could see. That ... or I had just met the Austrian version of George Kastanza. Where in that country George wished to be an Engineer ...

And I waited ...

I dropped the Jim off ..he unloaded the car with his gear ... the lead singer spoke ... "we are running a little behind" ... he said ... So I asked ... do I hang out in Lang.ley and just wait ... or do I go home ... "Oh hang out ... we should be good to go in an hour" ... he said to me. Not a problem ... me, a phone, some glasses and book ... this will work ... just as long as I don't get lost over here ... I will find something to do !

Three phone calls later ...

The Jim and I drove around looking for addresses that do not exist in an industrial district ... what the heck ... how do these places just disappear from a map ...?

The sidetrip:

I FLY to the mall .. and make a STAT purchase of a black belt and white tie. It's kinda freaking me out. Black shirt and white tie ? Seriously ..

The Job:

The Jim waits on The Sir ... so that The Jim can go help This Sir help him with a side job... just at the house behind us. Not a problem .. except that The Sir has been running behind all day ... unbeknownst to The Sir, The Jim is needing to get to the mall. He needs to make a side trip.

The rush:

I'm ironing The Jim's pants ... he is in semi melt down mode ... he set up the ironing board, collected his dress wear ... and trying to find the lead singer ... so he can offer up some directions to the location that The Jim is supposed to be.

The haircut:

I can't believe it ... The Jim managed his first hair appointment without me .. well ... not without me .. but without my bank account attached. CAN. NOT BELIEVE. IT. Of course I booked the haircut ... texted back and forth .. and talked to the hair cutter lady while I sat in the salon ... The Jim isn't quite up to that amount of hair cutting work yet.

The shopping trip:

The Jim went to the mall to do a good deed for his friend ... well ... she was applying for a job ... he was purchasing his first pair of REAL dress shoes ... now this is when you know that your youngster is growing into a fine young fellow ... when he comes home with a beautiful pair of dress shoes.

A cancellation request:

So The Jim is fresh into his graduation experience ... he is doing very well for himself.... as in .. just getting himself established in life .... he doesn't know exactly where he is headed, but has enough smarts in his head to know that he definitely needs to work to keep afloat .. and definitely knows that his current job will not be his lifetime achievement .. but clearly knows it's a place of growth ..and freedom to cancel a shift if he has to ... because he doesn't need to worry about real life quite yet ... so .. he cancels his saturday 8 hour shift. Which was from 7-3.

The Text:

So we need to play at my girlfriends moms wedding ... be there by 5 .. don't be late ... we are going to play for about 20 minutes ... probably around 5:15 - 5:30.


I bet my faithful readers were wishing right now that they had read from the bottom up .. well not today peeps .. not today ... just daring to be different ... or is that just wishful thinking?

Friday, August 23, 2013

Comedy strikes hard


Like, ... yesterday when the cutesy furry boy named ANGUS .. who should actually be renamed MENACE .. insisted on his shell adventuring ways.

Oh .. nice .. I live at the beach .. !!!

Comedy folks. Just comedy.

Oh no I don't ... however ... a large number of years ago ... I began to be adventuresome in the shell collecting ways ...

AND so now .. so has the dog! Everyday he's out ... hunting for shells ... and shell bits, and searching heartily so he can be that true shell worthy spirit .. that I once was.

CAN I just say that a shell collecting dog ... is actually kinda sorta deeply scary ... because now he chews that shit like a kid with a package of bubblegum stuffed in his face.

Shell collecting .. what was I thinking ...

In other things:

Today's event will be a rather large endeavour .. one of which is a bit of a freakfest into what it is that I actually deem important .. and what NEEDS TO GO.

I am emptying out my filing cabinet ... because things like knitting needles and empty bottles of scrapbooking glue I believe are now housed in there ... and because things are really never where they should be ... I have a lovely rattan basket stuffed with papers and such that belong someplace .. I think like a filing cabinet or something .. but I could be blatantly wrong with that one.

Which would be why I am so conveniently writing this little story ... to keep the agony portion of this hideous task at more than a arms reach away. I am going to will the phone to ring at any moment... certainly that will divert my attention ... deep into next week. I can only pray.

In other things even more un-newsworthy!

The girl went off to Jam Camp this week. I don't have a clue what it's all about ... other than I believe people jam .. she did bring her guitalele. Hopefully she doesn't fall on it as she trips her way over the rocks towards the beach where they can take that attractive beach sunset picture ... or not. In other things that I really don't have a clue about ... is how she is getting home. I mean .. I drove her to the ferry terminal ... and dropped her off .. with her friends ... but I didn't inquire as to how they would return from the ferry terminal ... to the homeland. Ooooops. I guess I should have questioned the organizer a tad bit more. FUSS ... your maja really does love ya ... I just forget to ask a pertinent question ... that's all. Oh well .. I guess she will text me from the ferry terminal of her need for a ride ... if she has enough battery power left on her phone. ... public phones .... ewwwwwwww ... what are those anyways ?

In other things lacking of details:

I got my hair coloured yesterday ... PROFESSIONALLY. People .... all my lovely readers and followers ... what the HELL was I thinking all those years .. ? Oh .. I know .. the MONEY factor .. right any rate ... now I sit in a chair .. and someone colours my hair for me ... and I LOVE IT. However .. I have realized that the next time the magical hair colour fest will take place .. this little chickster is going to need some foils dabbled around ... I now see the space in the hair where the foils once were ..and where they should be .. that's ok ... only a singular hair wash in .. and half the colour will wash out .. I'm certain of it.

In things of the OCD nature:

Is it troubling to be continuously looking out the backdoor incase a bear is walking through the yard? Last week I spoke of the black barrel that needed to be moved .. so .. that was project el completo .. however; I am still busily turning my head to make sure that I don't see a bear wondering through ... as my little mister furry menace would be spooked and rattled by this sort of character drifting through ... currently the furry menaces pre occupation would be the squirrel that scitters through the tree tops irritating the living daylights out of mr springy paws.

In things that keep my spy paycheques coming:

There was a house that was rebuilt two summers ago. They reconfigured the house .. so now instead of a kitchen that resides at the back, it is now a bedroom. For a long while it did not have blinds ... and now the home has been ideally outfitted with blinds blinds and more blinds, which is all lovely ... except for the fact that the blinds never move. So where they once had an abundance of light ... they have moved to the darkside? Not that I really give a crap about the such things ... I just notice the blinds never move, up down open or shut. EVER. I guess they are MOLE people that inhabit the home ... but that's just cause I am a spy.

My coffees cold, ... and this basket of stuff is just screaming at me ... looks like I better get moving ... and sort out all this dead tree shit.

Special thoughts go out to my loyal reader peeps ... including Elton John, and George Clooney .. oh and Steve Martin .. cause I know you three guys always are on the up and up with the great goods being spit out here on a semi regular basis.

OH .. and in other things of NO IMPORTANCE whatsoever ... I read that The Real Housewives of Vancouver was put on hold ... (CANCELLED ?) ... OK ... thank you BRAVO ... these woman were portrayed completely AWFUL ... and unfortunately were highly plastic ... yuk ... so .. that is just so not VANCOUVER. Well .. I guess in reality NONE of Real Housewives are any good ... just a display of look at how much money we have to play with .. and we still can't be nice.

Well .. that's comedy .. striking hard.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

The dog is:

  1. Being good?
  2. Being Crazy
  3. Loving to bark?
  4. heavily into biting?
  5. Big into laundry detail?
  6. involved with sorting out the bushes and plants?
  7. Playing with his ball?
  8. Finding assorted objects and treat them like snacks?
  9. Chewing on his bone?
  10. All of the above ... and I screwed up to find that he was doing NUMBER ONE, which resulted in 2-8.
  11. I now say ... The dog is ... chewing on his bone. And I will leave it that way.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Just in case:

You were thinking that I have nothing to say or write.


I have started using Google Chrome. UHMmmmm ... despise the blog lay out with this view, and the font. I'm not fond of the font. Good thing I am not eating fondant on top of the fondness of this font. Now we are talking a fine fondant font fuck up.

YES PEOPLE. That is a magical word. It continues to describe all. In one short quick slap in the head sort of way.

In other things far less fondless font taled:

I am on a time crunch today .. I have to get myself organized, and shipped off .. in an effort to visit my friend .. at her BRAND NEW HOUSE. Now that's exciting .. and I thought driving a BRAND NEW CAR was exciting .. well it was .. but now living in a brand new house .. well, how cool is that !?

Of course .. given the fact that I live in pretty much a brand new home and an old foundation .. I should qualify in the perfect sounding Bob Barker sort of way .. A BRAND NEW HOUSE should remain a constant in my world .. of thoughts.

I am going to have to make a bee-line for he bathroom .. as the boy has to work .. and I have heard his alarm go off ten thousand times .. but alas .. my toothbrush is still tucked away ... and since my time crunch is equal to his .. I could be sent to the bottom of the wait list if he makes it in there before me .. given that we have ONE SUPER NOW OLD NEEDS TO BE RENO'D bathroom in this house ... All is good .. I retrieved all things that are required to step out of the home and into public view .. oh lucky me .. or should I say THEM.

So in other things that are looking not great:

My hanging baskets. Next year I have a whole new plan of attack. AND attack I will do. The situation here people is the very fact that at the beginning of the season I purchased well grown plants, which of course look hugely lovely .. the very second you adorn them to your home. I have been diligent in the feeding of the food department, and the watering ways of this world I live in .. but then there simply comes a time when these lovely overgrown leaf machines just begin to get too big for their britches and grow out of their pots. With the success of the summer weather .. the baskets have taken a blow at trying to remain beautiful .. they simply just look exhausted from growing, and enduring the heat of the day ... SO NEXT YEAR .. my plan is to remove these lovely plants from their purchased pots, and extend their life by setting them in a larger hanging pot, with a fresh crop of dirt ... THEN ... at this time of the year when they look weathered, wilted and done ... they will have continued life .. and myself .. will have continued work doing all the watering of these finely growing pot busting beasts. Or so I think this is how it's going to go.

So I was afraid of a dog the other night. It was as big as a calf, and heading straight for me. Yes peeps .. I for the three seconds feared for my life .. or at least my ability to stand as it ran at me .. and almost knocked me over .. all he wanted was a giant pat on his huge german shepherd head ... he was extra lovely .. despite looking like a little calf and all. So our little guy .. was half the size of this grandious speciman .. so so so so so thankful .. that I do not have a little cow running through my home .. although somedays ... I have zombies, and wombats, and tazmanian devils .... just in case you began to think that I run a normal homestead .. 

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

twitter me timbers

So I have become a twitter - ite. Different than a hutterite, or a mini-mite but not far different from a bug bite. I'm bugged by the twitterlyness of my fingertips. for no reason other than to promote the "you know whos". Hey .. Justin Beiber's kind mother did it over YouTube .. why not myself over the twitter lands? Other than .. I just keep re-tweeting the same thing, or the semi same thing, or partially the same thing .. but then again .. what really is twitter anyways .. fragmented thoughts in need of decoding. Well HOLY SHITBALLS .. bingo .. that's me on a daily basis.

In other things that have me into a twittered frenzy:

Little mr monkey boy has done a fine job of crafting up a complete mess outside in the perrenial section of the yard. I was just thinking to myself last week that we got lucky with mr monkey and his gardening adventures .. when ... like the people mind reading dog that he is ... he started in on my garden .. and finding objects of desire .. this past week it has been my perfect picket fence gate, and now the amazingly seasoned wooden clog has been turfed into the trash. The wire basket that was perfectly place to keep the seedum in place has been deconstructed, and now the plants are perfectly positioned .. all over the ground. The impatience pot .. has been knocked over twice .. however the cute little white urn type plant holding device has withstood Mr. Monkey boys advances.

In other news:

The girl is home from her week long adventure at Gramas Baking Camp (aka a visit with her grama) .. and the boy is home from his weekend worthy adventure with the music  making band fellows. Well .. and of now of course my Laundry Boy has decided that trying to get into the dryer would be a good idea. MUST. GO. NOW. ... rescue the dryer .. and cure this case of twitter-itis.

Friday, August 09, 2013

Twitter me crazy

So I have this son .. The crazy piano playing Walmart working GRADUATED son of mine !! He is busily being a committed band member .. Called The Faceplants. Buy their music, it's on iTunes, and its good listening. Oh wait .. I'm a LIAR .. It STUPENDOUS listening. Raw talent ... Converging to create phenomenal music. 

Except .. I can't figure out ... Am I the only one that believes this ... They have even a larger number songs now that are UNRECORDED !!! ok .. Omagawd ... These guys need to get into the studio and record their stuff -----




NOT !!!!

How do people find these guys in this age and time. To watch them, to listen to them ... It's SERIOUSLY amazing .. I can't be the only person that sees this .... 

So a band that has NO MONEY   ( well they gave a 1996 grand GREEN caravan that they TOUR IN !!).. and NO REPRESENTATION has to go about this world remaining unknown ... and then along came  twitter ... And some video ..

I kid you not oh loyal followers .. I have been spam tweeting a shit ton of anyone's out there in this Universe .... These guys have got a beautiful sound that DESERVES to be sitting in people's iPods and airwaves ... And suddenly .. It's my job to get it there ....

Well ... Not suddenly .. It's more like HIGH TIME this music made it there .. Stay tuned you twitterites !!! 

Tuesday, August 06, 2013

Happy Tuesday my Queens and Kings !

So today is Tuesday, and as per the regular Tuesday schedule I .. have nothing on mine. I can't tell you how much I enjoy the simple sign of simplicity ... there isn't a single one thing that has got me obligated today.


In case one is wondering how it is possible that how does a regular boring housewife have nothing on the go .... it's a result of perfect planning ! I have planned for nothing .. and anything that should be planned ... hasn't been .. mind you .. I guess I should give myself more credit than being a boring housewife ... it is clear that I am a slave to my home ... but not in the fashion that one would believe with no dust and chronically clean floors ... I leave that up to the housekeeper .. which I still do not have. What is a housewife anyways ... because certainly I am not one. But that could just be a guess !

Moving forward into the Tuesday madness.

I have got to hit up Costco in a while ... now that should be exciting .. no list, and an empty shopping cart. And lots of time on my hands. This may not end well. For something .. like a certain bank account. Mind you .. I have a friend that shops like the zombie apocolypse is just around the corner ... or worse on her doorstep ... so I am so not that bad ... !

Am helping out a friend over the next number of months ... she's too busy for her business .. so I'm filling in the blanks by becoming her trusty assistant ... from home ... when I can sit ... and do things ... for short periods of time ...

So .. on that note .. I'm\ done for today.

Have to go find a comfortable spot to sit .. and tweet up a ton of magical words to zillions of strangers. That's my mission. It has to be someone's .. might as well make it mine.

Thank you for remaining loyal my Queens and Kings !