Thursday, September 30, 2004

Someone's not understanding something

It all started out... I chased the kids to school today... it seemed to be that the boy was in a big hurry to get to school and ran the whole way... and the girl rode her scooter....they somehow don't understand about traffic lights and busy intersections with impatient motorists... but then they will never quite understand.... but it goes on....

I talked to a lady from the gas company..., apparantly I can't get a rebate on my brand new furnace because it is not a high efficiency furnace...yes but its not fourty years old anymore, and our 1300 square foot doesnt need to be able to heat the whole street, on both sides of it.... I just don't understand....

I talked to someone else today about someone coming to do an energy checky thingy on our house.... oh, yes, I have a newish furnace installed... but you don't...........

My mom and I whipped over to a fabric store to try and figure out what we wanted to do with a sheepskin wrap for my crazy dad... the lady started talking about clasps and tabs and buttons... but you don't unders..........

We also visited the big toy store in the area because I saw a forbidden PS2 game on sale, for the boy, that he just dreams about... as I was asking about the sale... I was cut off.... we don't have those on sale.. ever... the girl says... she doesn't understand.... ( I have found that flyer, they were on sale).... oh, then I asked about the television set that was busy playing some movie, at the loudest volume possible... apparantly the toy company doesn't understand that if they would like frenzied parents to come back to the "greatest toy store on earth" they better turn down the goddamn volume on their freaking television sets. Idiots. They really don't understand....

Oh, on the way home from our mini shopping adventure my mom wanted to stop into the casino... I have never been to this particular one... I spent the big five dollars I had... I don't understand how I didn't walk out of their with some big winnings.. I just don't understand that at all.... best that I dont.

Now, being the big Thursday night of television... the lousy television network has put on CSI as a repeat... I just watched it last week. They don't understand... I don't want to see repeats at the very beginning of CSI season...

Also, the maid didn't understand that she was to report to work today. I had to declutter the clutter filled kitchen... I did understand how to do that... all too well in fact.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Wednesday creeped up on me...

My attention was diverted this week.... it became a sudden priority to clean the house... because after all we live here, I don't actually clean here. But when people pop by for a visit it strikes me as important to get through the door without hitting your head on cobwebs....but that's not what this is about.

The Pip is getting better... at gymnastics. I saw her do a roll, in the right direction and without almost breaking her neck first. I am proud of the girl. This weeks useless attention to detail was magnified by the new matching lavender frue-fruish hair doiley that I can put around her gymnastic bun that she sports during the whole hour that she is their. The boy and I also witnessed her flying into a circular hole backwards.... she was supposed to land on her legs gracefully. Her feet remained in the air, while she found herself smack on the ground. Later, we watched the princess Pipster begin work on the balance beam. She looked quite graceful crawling along on all fours, especially her beautiful lavender hair doily. It sparkled, so did her concentration smile. As of today she is a adept at getting back up onto the beam...hopefully nextweek it will be the Pip's turn to do balance beam work on the balance beam, rather than on the padded floor. Her cartwheels are moving in the right direction... although I have never seen a cartwheel landed on your knees. She managed to kick up both legs at the same time, in the same direction, and a reasonable distance... a couple of inches off the ground. That seems to be her method as of this moment. The direction from the dark haired high pitched gymnastic leader seems thorough enough; I am confident that my girl will be doing real cartwheels in no time. Is there an age limit as to what age the perfect cartwheel can be learned and performed... because I am still waiting if there is.

At the end of this day... I decided it was time for some lounge lizard piano music. I love the little tune Smoke Get's in your Eyes..... it has a soothing effect somehow.. and works for those cool autumn evenings when the day is done, the kitchen is still a mess, and the girl is looking at my scrapbooking album that is certainly keen on quantity of pictures on a page, rather than quality. That kept her busy for a while, so did the lizard music... as I was trying to commit it to memory.
I'm drinking some Lime Perrier water.. I think I'll go put it in a brown lunch bag and drink out of it... that's what this music reminds me of....someone sitting daydreaming, drinking, contemplating, yearning, or simply wishing that it wasn't perrier water they were drinking. Not that that's what I was doing... that was just the movie playing out in my head.

Best go and sit by the front door hoping that the maid will show up.

Done in the knick of time...

What is the perception of drinking out of nice coffee cups, I am not sure if the coffee actually tastes better. I drink out of styrofoam on occasion... and coffee has tasted good out of them, I think. I managed to barely set out nice plates for the little "do" this afternoon.

I am no queen when it comes to party giving....I supply the accomodations, prepare morsels of edible products built from scratch in the kitchen, and provide liquid refreshments.... although I forgot to buy wine... good thing nobody asked for anything.

I was thinking though... I also had two very beautiful pregnant ladies attend the little "do" as well.... I should have built some italian food, and served something to do with red wine.... they would either have thanked me or cursed me... that didn't happen. Both of these little ladies are so ready, the first one is a first time mom... and is very prepared... so she just wants to get the show on the road. The other little lady just wishes it to be over.... in her words she said that she has stretch marks on her stretch marks. I was frightened by that.....

What I was able to do mind you was throw 3 variations of the same rolly-up sandwiches together... built some spinach pies, and some walnut kind of thing with phylo pastry... which actually were good... once I cut them up... I also loaded and unloaded the dishwasher, cleaned up the kitchen after I had let a bomb go off by throwing all that crap together, did three loads of laundry, cleaned the bathroom, and vacuumed the whole house, re-arranged a zillion dahlias around the little homestead so it didn't look like a funeral, but rather a baby shower... before 11:30. I didn't have time for decorations... I think decorations are overdone... it's a baby shower people.... give the woman her gifts, and everyone will be on their way.. no games, no frivolity, no fuss no muss, that's the type of showers/parties I show. .. (As I always say to my girl "Kindness Counts... once again it looks like I am taking the "hellivator, rather than the escalator" in my next life).

I dont think I do this much in a whole week, let alone done in one day before noon. I will stay up late just in case the people come to deliver my award.

Well, now my kitchen is in a state.... not a mess... but the clutter from stuff..... I am not a good clutter-cleaner......god... that could be the next best invention....some digital device that you point and shoot at the "stuff" in question, and it tells you where you should be putting that "you idiot, that goes in the garbage, don't even think that putting it in the fridge will make you eat it", or, "excuse me, but this wrapping paper has been used, it doesn't matter how much you try and unkrinkle it... you won't be able to use it again, so find a trash can and throw it in", even better, "don't offer this to guests to take as leftovers"... see the clutter-cleaner would be a rather helpful device. Too bad I didn't own one now.

Must go...

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Where the hell is my housekeeper?

I certainly didn't give her the day off, or the week off, or even the month off. As always, luck would have it, the housekeeper hasn't shown up. I am hosting a little "do" at our house, but I would prefer it, being the house to be in a state of tidy, and mostly clean. The girls room will definitley be off limits to admiring eyes. Nobody will be allowed on the back lawn, especially in certain corners... because I cut the front and back lawn... and I have decided that both our dogs crap way too much. But I kept cutting the grass anyways.. that way it looks kinda like a golf course. Nice little rolling pathways that lead to the nowhere. Oh, then I shampooed the livingroom carpet. It really needed to be done, last year. I was lead to believe by a certain person that is quite neat and tidy, and a king around the home when it comes to installing, repairing, rebuilding, or contructing anything, that... I would have already had a new carpet installed. That too was earmarked for last year. I washed hallways, and doors, and tomorrow I will do the floors and the outside of the livingroom window. It's alright to have clean windows now, most of the birds have moved on to warmer climates. I am not certain as to why I needed to clean out the fridge which included the rotter, or some people prefer the word crisper. I went shopping at the non-scary grocery store, and the big box store with long line-ups to collect more items. Picked up kids from school, took one to a swimming lesson, went bear hunting, helped the boy practice his piano, loaded and unloaded washers and dryers and dishwashers, organized the dead summer pots to some assemblance of order and went over to the parents and collects about 12 dozen dahlias for the baby shower event. The housekeeper is still missing, and has not reported in at all. Now if only I could have a chef for a couple of hours then that would make the world right. My friend the -not-by-trade-cakebaker offered to bake a cake. Now she has called me and told me it looks bad... they are bad looking baby blocks.. I told her bring it on little lady... icing and cake can never be bad... just tell us what it was supposed to be when you get here. I have two fans blowing away in the living room, one for heat, and another fan that blows air I guess. Hopefully that will dry the carpet before tomorrow at 1130 when I told people to come for this little "do". I don't like "do's" at night because this house is a bit to teency-weency to fit people and shy husbands and nosy-chatty children all in one go. Well, must go build some rolly-up sandwhiches... I have decided the housekeeper is fired... because after running around here today... I think that she thinks that she has been fired all along...HA!

Monday, September 27, 2004

I love that sound

I never give much thought to how I sound.... I can't. I hear myself regularly...just like most everyone. I do however enjoy the sound of peoples voices. Except screaming, whining crying children noises... I don't love those sounds... so don't come near me with that.... I will deliver the ultimate in evil scowl.. but people's voices... now there's a fascination. How is it that people can sound pompous, intelligent, belligerant, exasperated, exhausted, energetic, angry, humorous, bored and idiotic? I look for that in people. I want to hear what they are feeling, not by telling me, but by talking. Once again, I will refer to my favourite green clock... we all tick the same, but there are many different ways in which we tick.

Life in the normal world

Husbandless and happy. Mr. Workaholicman went back to work today. I was most pleased to see him drive off....see ya.... see ya many hours from spoons and cups no longer make me nervous just sitting over on the counter. And that cupboard door can stay open for as long as it needs, I know I wont walk into it. Although.... he did arrive home early.. not that he was expecting dinner or anything.... there are no leftovers... the stuff that was left over was given to Mr. Homeworkboy. He was back at his usual antics upon his arrival.... cleaning something.... like putting away the recylclables, you gotta like that.

I was living in the "quietzone" today.... everything that I did seemed silent.... the people bussling the kids to school, my group that I coordinate was very silent, the fighting seniors were missing in action, after school people seemed not to be around, the sister saved me from the General PAC Meeting tonight in a wonderfully silent manner...even the people at the most dreaded place in grocery land were silent....the world is so quiet... that the voices are beginning to fill up in my head.

Sunday, September 26, 2004

Standing tall...

After a fine feast of chicken and stuff.... the girl and I took a quick ride with the safari vehicle and went bear hunting. We met up with a couple families of deers, a coyote and one bear hanging in the trees collecting apples, and another cruising the brush. As we were leaving the girl spotted one just 20 feet away. There he was standing tall... checking out the chick in the safari rig. (That's the Pipster standing up on the passenger seat looking out the sunroof). He ran... smart bear... if he's in a tree collecting apples.... he probably doesn't have what it takes in his bank account to keep this girl happy !! She may be just a bear hunter, but she really is a gold digger.

What do you do with the chicken?

This being Sunday... as a kind gesture, I decided to put together some assemblance of a dinner. A dinner that has a bunch of colours that all go together. Of course I bought the lovely roasted chicken from the grocery store... it was very good, all $8.99 of it. I compared prices.. and a raw version was $8.00. So, I figured I was getting a good deal. Feeding your family cooked food is once again a kind gesture. We have a very simple dinner plan at this house. We used to have sit down family dinners, that doesn't happen much anymore. Someone was usually sent away from the table angry and tearful, and the only family members that were left were the eldest and furriest members. The eldest members of the family would sit and not talk and eat their dinners, and the furriest members would sit at attention just in case the youngest members didnt make it back. Our new plan, which has been in place for quite a few years, finds family members rejoicing in their beautifully coloured Sunday Dinner plates in all corners of the house. Everyone has smiles, and everyone eats it. Believe it or not.... with all this polite practice of successful dinner eating... this family is able to go out to restaurants, and not need four tables.

The tricky part to making dinner is clean up. Mr. Cleanandtidy asked me what I am going to do with the chicken. "What do I always do with the chicken?" I ask him. He says, "Nothing, you forget about it, and I clean it up otherwise Elpee (younger sillier evil shepherd) will jump up and get it". "Alright then, it's settled...I'll do the same thing with it tonight".... he he he he he he

Oh, and by the way... if anyone happens to speak with Mr. Cleanandtidygreatpresentbuyingman I am wanting some new binoculars. I need them. I don't need glasses, I need new binoculars. I seemed to have overused the binocs' this summer. Really.

Besides... I will need them to start with my latest spying adventures..... there is a Cougar in our midst....can't do that with blurry binocs.

Random act of kindness..

I gave my girl the gold elastic ribbon from a box of chocolates for her hair. The princess blondie was immediately happy. One day she will learn where these gold ribbons came from... and feel ripped off..... they have come from expensive boxes of chocolates... but we don't need to tell her that right now.

I'll continue on my search for other more extreme acts of kindness... but today I am limited, I am at work. Can't be nice at work...

Saturday, September 25, 2004

The Furnace is in....

Mr Furnaceman came yesterday, and his friend. They looked kinda old. I thought for a short while that they weren't going to make it... not that they couldn't put the furnace in.... but make it out of our house without heart attacks. I told Mr. Cleanandtidy to go and help them..."Go and check if they have colour....???.... is that guy ok that's sitting on his toolbox.....???? ... go man... go.....quick, fast, get them out lickity split.....!

Doing Nothing...

The Evil Little Mr. Cleanandtidy says he's doing nothing today. That will not happen. From this very workstation I will WILL him to clean and tidy something. I know he will fail at his task to do nothing, and I will help him. I am a good and kind wife.

Faded, but fast.

So, I am typing from the keyboard that is attached to this lovely new PC. I'm at work... snicker, snicker, snicker.....the most exciting part is that it is so fast.... I tap a key, and the info is in front of me. Although... from the looks of things.. I am quite faded.....(which is the view I am getting from the new flat screen)... a dull faded, that is not me!!! At least, I don't think that's me.

Friday, September 24, 2004

You warm my heart....

That's right Mr. Furnaceinstaller. I am waiting for you to install my new furnace and heat my home and put a smile on my face. Actually what would really warm my heart would be to win the $24,000 dollars that is up for grabs from one of our many radio stations... I just have to remember to answer the phone "I listen to Jack!". The cup of coffee that I have brewing right now will warm my heart too, so will the shower I am about to go have. I am hard to please. Must go, the little heater is in the other room... not here.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Picture Perfect

It was the kids picture day today. There was no time for breakfast, making lunches, or walking to school. The only thing we had time for this morning was for primping. Princesses must look their best on picture days, hense the long navy blue sleeveless lined gown worn by the Pipster herself, of course with a matching hairstyle. A gentle flowing bun that was glued and sprayed into place. I just hope she didn't do her very best squeagie smile... that wouldn't be very princess like in her princess attire. I really do wish the girl did have a tiara...oh, and a pair of nylons would have been appropriate.. but what the heck.. it was a long dress anyways.

The boy on the otherhand was sporting his favourite "loud" shirt. His "do" was a bit of work as well. I needed to cut his hair around his ears... I hate it when the hair gets a bit long... bloody hippie in training!!! Hopefully he was able to create the persona of a happy go lucky child... not the bored yet crosseyed look which is what was returned to me last year... with fingers crossed I will hope for the best.

The husband has slowed on his husbandry duties... no dinner last night, the clothes in the dryer were barely dry, the kitchen table even disorganized. His holidays are over soon, which is good. He has a very nasty cold which I hope I do not get.....!

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

I've cried once too many times today

Deanna the seagull saver cried when Mr. Seagull was picked up by the local animal helpers. I couldn't leave this poor guy running around a parking lot... only to be squished by a careless nominded impatient idiot. (Those are the types of drivers that exist around here). .... hence why there was a crazy woman running around in a parkinglot with a box in her hands this afternoon.... waving the box at drivers when they got too close the stealth footed seagull. Hopefully they can fix his broken self, and send him flying...
Crying session number two... today was gymnastics day. There was a lot to cry about here. Why oh why do we not own a video camera. The hour that my Pip was their, was once again priceless. Today I had tears streaming down my face... and the lady sitting on the bench next to me asked me if I was ok. This girl is just killing me... she is truely in love with being in gymnastics... and is trying to the best of her ability.... and I am having the show of my life. The lady told me I wasn't allowed to laugh. I will laugh, and laugh and laugh. (The quiet laughing... that make tears pop out that is). My Pip has no idea how much I laughed. I laughed because I love watching her so much, from here on in, she will only get better. After 5 consecutive tries of trying to do a summersault she finally did it. Time after time she was kicking the wrong leg up first trying to do a cartwheel, which the end result was watching her rolling on her bottom, and seeing the arms and legs flying in the air. See, my warped sense of humour tells me this is funny. The girl still has the biggest smile on her face, and once again she looked absolutely princesslike, with the arms and legs of a giraffe.

Mission Accomplished.

First PAC meeting of the year. The first of many more. At the end I layed the ground rules. No more talking and talking.... I will become the evil clock watching woman. That is my role. If someone wants to speak, they get timed.... yes, sounds like an evil plan, and is evil.... See, really if you look at it, it's a compliment.... "Oh, I see you have an obscene amount of chatter just dying to get out... let's see you can say it all in under two minutes!".....Now, I will set the record straight... this is just for the PAC-X people.... not for the general meetings... if anyone shows up for those... it's a pleasure to hear them speak. The clock will be reserved for the chatty crowd only, and to keep everyone on task....otherwise we will wind up at the school the whole day.

Secondly.... another mission accomplished. I saved a life today. Well, I kind of saved a life today. Okay, I hope I saved a life today. After the PAC meeting I wanted to whip down to a local drugstore and drop something off... as I was leaving, I almost managed to bump into a seagull. "Little fella, you better fly away before you get rolled on"... and of course that's when I noticed this guy wasnt' going to do any flying anytime soon. Luckily I had my cell phone... and all my preprogrammed numbers for the people that help animals and birds and such. I had to call them a number of times before getting through.. and finally I did. They told me to contain the thing. So, I went back into the pharmacy, and got a box... and out I went to the parking lot. Now parking lots as we know are kind of hazardish... but this Pharmasave parking lot is very hazardous... always has been... ands it certainly not safe for a broken seagull. I wandered around after it for a while, just me and my box... I had to bring in some recruitment.... I yelled at a lady to "stop that bird!"... as I pointed at the poor little fella...see, he was very stressed, so he tried to fly off... and fell over, and that's when I put a box over the poor little guy. But then I had to stand in the parking lot, right at the entrance to the parking lot actually, just me in the way, with a box on the ground.... and lots of cars. People were able to make it past... but I had to put myself between the cars and the box... because people would have plowed into it.
So, the word of the hour is.. preprogram your cell phones with ALL of the animal emergency numbers, and, remember to program your phone with the after hours emergency numbers.... cause accidents don't just happen in the daytime, or Monday to Friday. Hm. (And I wonder where Mr. Safety gets his safetiness from!!)

The first day....

Today is the day that I take up post as a vp of our little school Parent Advisory Committee. This is good. I am planning on doing absolutely nothing for the entire year. I will sit on the committee mainly to keep the President in order. I was the secretary for the last two years.. and I really really disliked this evil little job. My blue ink flew across the sheets of white... and then I would have to eventually type them into ledgible notations. This I had trouble with. I hated typing minutes.. so much, that I have had the whole summer to type the last set of minutes from the very last PAC meeting... and what I am doing... writing about them. Here. I am planning on doing my vp role as a ride in the backseat. My friend laughed at me and told me that wont be the case... I would be doing lots.... I laughed in my head.... ( I wont be) role this year will be to keep the pres from talking too much. She does that.. a lot... over and over about the same crap... she's kind of an alzheimers-in-training.... I will put a stop to that... that is my mission for this year. (I say that to you in June....)

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

From theory to practice.

Speaking from your heart, empathic commmunication, understanding your needs. Restating what's inside of you, what drives you.... sounds all good... if only I can take this theory and put it into practice everyday... especially when I am at work. That would me most helpful. My worry about being the only person at this seminar was layed to rest when there was no parking at the hotel. That made me happy.

On the home front.... Mr. Cleanandtidyvacationinghusbandman... managed to make a lasagna, take kids to school, clean gutters and drink coffee, read his paper, clean his kitchen counters and had something to say to me when I returned home. Wow. Life with a Mr. Mom.... Now he has taken the Pipster to swimming, and will be going to Costco to pick up dog food. I am worried that next week that this fellow may decide to quit his job...he was rather gleeful upon my arrival. I don't do glee, I do glum. I do silence. I do wonderment..... but gleeful... that's too much of a change... and it's only been two days. I am frightened for what the end of the week will bring.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Please no outbursts...

I have a workshop to go to tomorrow. I feel like I am going to be the only one, in this huge room, with chairs all around me. Just me and the guest speaker. I'd just love not to go now. But I should, it's rather convenient that I am going to go to something when the Mr. Cleanandtidy man will be home to cover for me. Besides, he's successful at getting the kids to school on time. I am not so hot at that. Anyways, I just don't want to be the only one that decided that this was an interesting subject."Nonviolent Communication".. the leaflet said he was an international peacemaker...I hope I don't have an outburst....I must go.

Doing a double take

It's getting close to saying goodbye to the great black bears that are roaming our streets, yards and vast fields.... except don't get to excited about seeing them scour the ground for food. Lately, we have watched the family do some aireal work up in the trees. The bouncing bobbling cups have found a haven for amusement parks for bears... except that some of the rides are not too sturdy. There are bowed branches all over the place.... and the repair people are not too swift in getting these rides back up and running. In fact they come with their own theme music ....
"A whole lot of shaking going on"... that is what we witnessed earlier this evening.


This person added a comment.... and made me cave. So here I am.... typing and typing.. and the keyboard is humming. I will be bold and say that I will not take responsibility.... can't... I have to blame that "Blogbuster" on someone... she busted me boy... so I'm back.... clicking and ticking... it's only Monday, I said I'd wait till Wednesday... oh well.... I'm already living in some transformed life with Mr. Cleanandtidy suddenly home. Yikes.. that shook up my world. Eeeeekkk.

Divorced and Widowed

So, Mr. Cleanandtidy is taking the week off work... I totally forgot,'re here all week are you? I had no idea that he would be at home for a solid 5 days in row cleaning and tidying the kitchen. He is also supposed to be falling trees out in our backyard. That which of course has me worried... will I be divorced by the end of the week or widowed.......(insert laughter here).........

So, on the verge of his grand holiday.... he stops by the grocery store and buys the goodies for a roast beef dinner, including dessert. Mr. Cleanandtidy is also a Mr. Goodcook. Not that you can screw up that sort of thing (I prefer not to even try).... but he also lives up to his name Mr. Cleanandtidy.... which he took care of the dinner issues this morning.... since it was his first day off of work and all.

I will let you in on a little took 13 years of being married before I cooked him a roast beef dinner. That was last April 13th.... the only reason that happened was because he had hurt his back, and was flat on his back in bed and couldn't move. I know that because I asked if he was going to be able to cook the roast or not... is it going to have to go bad... or, or, or will I have to do the deed...apparentley it was adequate...because I am still writing anecdotes about his husbandry behaviours.

I have some issues though... with his holidaying and such. He has decided that he enjoys the Playstation 2 a bit much. So, I am wondering if I will be divorced by next week. See, the whole reason he is going to fall trees (one of which is the broken willow that needs to come down... seeing that it is kind of dangerous and all to have dangling there).. is because for the last three years (well before that really) he (WE) have needed a shed. Big Time. Big Big Big Time. But now on his holidays... he has rediscovered his love of playstation 2. I am not partial to his bad decision making. I am thinking that I should start baking.... and creating things in the kitchen.. not because he likes to eat the things that are created... he just doesn't like the transition to disorganization that I can quickly transform the kitchen area to. That way... it (the playstions) is out of sight.. and hopefully out of mind. Good plan. Will it work? No.

And there's more issues.... I have just spotted his handwriting in my crossword puzzle book. In the bathroom. This behaviour will be put to an immediate halt.

How about this... he had to be Mr. CleanandtidyMOM today. The precious little pipster girl had a baddish type of burp in class today... you know...the kind you have to swallow... anyways... she told the teacher... and that teacher being a good teacher called our home... and home THE PIPSTER came... and Mr. Cleanandtidymom had to go and get her. So she curled up in our sometimes warm bed (that's only because I don't get to sleep in it half the time because someone sleeps RATHER LOUDLY)...and he looked after her by playing playstation 2. Come hell or high water that precious pipster will not be coming home tomorrow. I will send her with an assortment of bags if she so requires them.

Oh, and finally... Mr. Cleanandtidynontreecuttingman will be joining us on Wednesday for the gymnastics class.. this will be a rare appearance put in by him... because he is never home at the ungodly hour of the day (5:00).... and the final straw.. he will be able to make it to the kids first open house this Thursday....I am thinking... he may get used to "being around the house", or "the kids keep asking for him".... I have to somehow drive him away.....I know... I will start making him dinners... certainly he wont stick around for that.

Sunday, September 19, 2004

Oh, sorry.

If I don't write this .... I am sure I will implode... can't have that now. So Miss Pipster-the-meat-loving-girl and I were watching the first episode of Survivor. Yes, I like Survivor..... if you care to take a look deeper... it's interesting how the concept of a show evolves.. look at the layers of people that are arriving on it.... and how many look-a-likes the casting people are finding. Interesting. anyways.... have to keep it short here....
So.... along comes the pig on the stake...right away I cringe, hide my eyes.. oh yuk oh yuk oh yuk... I hide the girls eyes.... then I am totally grossed because the thing is alive on the stake (hung by it's feet)... my blood stops flowing practically..... poor thing, oh yuk.... it's the Pip that shoves away my hand. "Do not hide my eyes, if I want to hide my eyes I will close them, I am a meat eater, and animals have to die somehow". That's what the seven year old told her mother. I still hid my eyes, who the hell knows what she did....

Saturday, September 18, 2004

tick tick tick tock

tick tick tick tock... mesmerized by my green clock.....
I'm here... I'm just gathering momentum...
Actually I'm just biding time for Wednesday at 5:00 PM. That will be the Pipsters second time around at gymnastics....I am just watching the clock until then.
And I'm waiting for the blue sky to return.
And I'm waiting for the furnace man to come and install a new furnace.
And I'm still lurking about trying to spy the biggest blackest of black bears before winter arrives.
I will wait... I may go into shock, my head may implode with an over abundance of idle anecdotes and chatter trying to will themselves onto this keyboard... but I will wait.... Gymnastics is only 4 days away....Must. Be. Patient. ( might as well slice now)
.... and back to my green clock I go....

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

The Pipster and the Piano Man and Warmth

Today was the day that Pip started gymnastics. It is a whole new world to me. I am way way to practical.... until this very day, I had never entered into the gymist world. I mean really where can you go with gymnastics... other than get an A in PE when your in grade 11 and 12. But today, that princess of princess looked gorgeous in her new used lavender body suit with just a hint of silver sequences on it. There she was, grinning from ear to ear, and she had her little concentration tongue sticking out the side of her mouth the whole time. She was priceless, she couldn't do a summersault, fell numerous times on the trampoline, could not bounce and land on her feet on the vault, couldn't bounce on a springboard and then jump up onto a cushioned box, the balance beam she fell off of... but guess what, that smile stayed on her face... and she looked damn good in her little lilac coloured suit...I can't wait for next week.

The Piano Man had his first lesson today. He needed to practice before he went. I wasn't sure what he wanted to I told him to play me a song piano man.... (strangley familiar), and he did.... of course he had on his extreme concentration face, except his tongue stays in his face.. he just somehow maneuvers his jaw to keep it locked inside. That boy... I showed him how to play a song that he wanted to play... a couple times listening to the notes... there he was, playing it.... hopefully he will learn to read music this year... because both myself and his piano teacher are rather convinced that he can't read music. I can vouch for the fact that he can definitely play.

Well, must go and get pyjamas on, and a find blanket, and warm socks, and a pillow, and sweet talk the 11 year old evil queen but doesn't look like it dog to remove herself from the couch, so that I can go to sleep their. Mr. Noiseysleepinghusbandman has gone to bed.. hate that, hate that... hate that... but on a warm note.. the furnace man came by and loaded my nonfurnace minded brain facts and figures about furnaces, and BTU's and overflows, and outflows, and cost saving vs money wasting and double vented, and upflows and downflows... I didn't get much of it at all. In fact I am still confused why if our current furnace gives out 75000 BTU's, and he want's to install a furnace with 60,000 BTU's... how this is going to work.. because apparantley ours is working at 40 % effiency, so we have about 40000 BTU's currently with a loss of 35000 into the air... all of this will cost me $2100.00 plus taxes. That is the part I did get. I didn't have the heart to ask the man to repeat the first part again....

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Life as a mother bear.

WE went down to our favourite spot..the bear watching place. I anticipated a no sightings night. Now that the blueberries are pretty much gone all of the black beauties have began to drift elsewhere. Of course sometimes when you anticipate the worst, the opposite happens. Off in the distance we saw the great black lady, and her two young charges all balancing on the limbs of some sort of fruit tree. You have to give these great creatures a lot of credit... teaching her youngster initiative (finding food sources beyond their horizons), self-assurance (teaching them they are capable), insight (knowing that the winter is long... better eat all you can now), adaptability (foraging is fun in trees, go with the flow), to be cautious (awareness of others presence, and the impact it may make on yourself), take note of a good teacher (and learn from their experiences and teachings). Hats off to all the mother bears out there.

knowledgeable secretaries equal profit.

I'm looking for heat.... lots of heat. It's almost that time of year when we need to turn our furnace on. The days are passing quickly... and quickly becoming very cold. I don't like the cold. I am certain that I would have been dead if I would have been a pioneer. I am certain of it... I couldn't have trekked through god knows what to establish a new town, or landmark, or "wait" while I was having a house built by the towns gentlemen. .... I would not have waded through streams up to my waste, or walked 5 miles in the blizzarding snow to get to school, I would have opted for extreme stupidity, before I did that. And then shortly after that I would have died once again, from the cold.
Anyways, back to the real word of the hour... so I am going through the Yellow Pages... (which are pages that just about have every single business in the geographical area)...and I find a bunch of local heating places.. right down their numbers... the first call I make... the nice secretary lady answers the phone. She is not sure if they install new furnace systems.... the ad in the Yellow Pages told me that they did... but she wasn't, little does that company know that she may be losing thousands of dollars with that unknowledgeable answer,.... because me, being highly HIGHLY impatient... said thanks very much, I might call you back. I am indifferent to asking questions about services that they are not even sure they my thought... if you're gonna have someone answering the phone... you might as well inform the lovely voice about the services provided by the company. That would be a good thing. I moved on, and called the guy that serviced our furnace 3 years ago.... which he wrote in the comment section then "new furnace recommended"... that was written in 2001. Oh, we have a carbon monoxide detector.. in case that came to mind. BTW, he answered me, the furnace man himself.. when I called... he's a good little man.

Monday, September 13, 2004

Random thought....

So... the girl was a bit pissed.... this evening... about stuff..although she did remain nicely composed... I could see she was on edge. My Sis calls and wants me to accompany her on a short outing. I refer to these outings as "useless task night"... that is where we go out, and do mundane chores of living because we didn't have enough time during the day, or we just didn't want to do it with our children... cause we're selfish that way... anyways... so, tonight was that night. I was interested in going because I new her van would be warm, because right now I am a cold, cold hearted woman... "all the tea in china" was not going to warm me up. .... Might as well go out and be cold. The Pip hisses at me.. after I tell her that I'm going out... "Can't that Aunty Janet just try to do things on her own, why does she always need your help, she should just try and do things BY HER SELF!!!"... the Pipster says as she slithers down the hall..... but this isn't my random thought... that is my sidetracked thought... carrying on then....

So, when people give food that they have bought to the foodbank... and you happen to walk by, and realize that what is in the foodbank box is something that you need.... couldn't you just take it... because it is a foodbank afterall, and you are justifiably in need of that item.....but it's just a thought... I've never actually tried this before.... it's just something that I think about... and not having a legal mind (nor needing one)... I am not certain how this would all go down in court. Would I be stealing? This has been puzzling me for a while....

What is more work...

Dogs or children, dogs or children.... at this moment in time I am not sure which is more work... the oldest evil queen is in the house, and for some reason is delighted in this very fact. She's running around, from room to room... bumping into everyone, throwing her ball about, jumping in and out of Elpees basket, on and off The Tidy Boys Bed, .. oh, and she's back... now crying and panting... and now tosses herself across the floor and lands with a grand slide. She's weird, as she lays on her side pretending to be dead. Now she's sitting make her growling sounds... if I look at her it will be all over... she will come and punch me with her paws. I am not certain how she turned out this way, although it may have something to do with the fact that when she was a pup we would put her on her back and spin her around...she may still be a bit dizzy from that. In comparison, the Pip is the same this evening... we shouldn't try to make eye contact with her either, she was having a hard time with her "Hairheaddoll".... now the world will have to pay. The rest of us are dodging the two of them....gotta go.. she's approaching...

carry on then

So... the chicklets officially made their way back into school life. Miss Pip has the lovely, yet firm, and practical "Rinkster Lady".... great teacher. I like her. This will be the fourth year in a row that I have had her teach my children. (Not just coincidences any longer).... and I met the boys Grade 4 teacher.... the "hula" woman, not because she does the hula... but her name starts with that.. I don't know how it ends. I had to meet her today.... had to.... it's like a statement.... "who cares what grade my child is in...I am interested in knowing you, the teacher, and I am interested in what he is doing... except when he is bad... he is only bad because he is a clown, and has a nasty little habit of making the other kids laugh)... bad boy, bad boy...quiet down... AND my little fears have been layed to rest that the boy doesn't ever have to spend a day in class with the most evilest demon child I have ever met... the boy across the street. Interestingly, the boy across the streets sister is in The Pipsters class this year...they quite like one another, and those two girls were sitting next to each other right off the bat, she is rather sweet... just don't piss her off.... she's not a demon, but she does have a rather huge set of lungs and uses them often... must go, I am frozen, can not type a moment's still summer for over a week and I am frozen... I can't wait for winter....

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Can you feel that?

Just to let the world know... because I think you should... all of the arctic air in the world, no in this universe... no galaxy (whichever is bigger) has converged in my kitchen, and enveloped around me.. and now I am frozen. Stone cold rock solid frozen. There will be no defrosting this ice lady.... I am embedded beneath a huge barrier of ice... I have one more thought before this last finger is frozen into eternity.... at least when you peer in at me... I will have my lipstick on.

Some days I wonder....

Some days I wonder if ...... (uh oh.. I need a bulletted list....can't help it, just have to)

  • I write too much
  • I think too much
  • I write with simplicity and little style
  • I should have more flare
  • I wonder if my heart should be making the sounds of clinkety clinkety clunk-chunk
  • I wonder if I drink too much coffee
  • I should own a thesaurus
  • I should become politically minded
  • Somedays I wonder if I have lost my mind... because after that previous statement it has definitely been misplaced
  • I will stop being a procrastinator, that way I will have already put the kids schools supplies together.. instead of now, closing in on 11:00 PM, with my group that I have to still prepare for, and I have to make an incident report form for my sister...
  • Right now I am wondering what time I am going to bed?

Another lovely thing....

I love apples. Oh yes, I love apples. I love apples especially when they are wrapped in Caramel. I love the presentation of the apples, nicely layed out in rows on pans, with the caramel securely wrapped around the apples skin... they almost call to you. Then of course there's the smell. Warm caramel smell. Can't go wrong with... ever. I am eating a caramel apple right now.. this very moment... except I am eating the caramel and apple separate. First it's the caramel layering... and maybe tomorrow I'll eat the apple.... ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!

Only the truth is written here....

Saturday, September 11, 2004

Green is closing in on me...

Earlier, as my blogger trainee was happily mousing around... I told her to check out the "Blogs of Note" list... and WOW... if I do not spy ONE, but TWO people with the same template as me. The rest is history.... they are now on MY list, that's right, MY list of Green Bloggers of the World..... unless of course they change their colours... and then they must be immediately re-categorized... can't have the wrong colour on the Green Bloggers list !!!

Slightly aggravated...

When I signed on to my lovely little stint in the working world.. I had no idea that I would take up the post as a resident photocopy fixer. That is my designation, all that I aspire to will never be... as I am the photocopy repair person, the tactical advisor, the person that has the error codes hardwired into herbrain. I am the one and only. I want to know how the world copes when I am not their to fix the photocopier...just earlier... I watched as one of my friends march up to me in a frenzy.... "please fix the photocopier"... as the sacred page of paper vibrated in her hands.... I escort her and her vibrating paper down the hall, to the dreaded machine. Reds lights flashing, arrows flying in all directions.... and her voice begins to escalate, and her feet begin marching up and down, as she is pointing at the possessed machine..."See, see what I am talking about... how am I supposed to know what to do... see, see!!" I talk her down from her tizzy... "See here, I am the one easily aggravated... don't get all aggravated... because then I will have to outdo your aggravation and see you two aggravations, and raise you one, see?" A puzzled look floated across her face... as I opened drawers, and pressed buttons, and pulled papers... and that was it. Once again, my ultimate dream job as the foremost photocopy fixer once again came through for me. Till tomorrow when someone new replaces me, and then they become the one and only photocopy fixer....

And transformed I become..

I was at work today.. because it is Saturday after all.. and I would cease to function or even exist if I wouldn't be at work... doing workable things... and then out of the blue along comes one of my working friends.... and the word "BLOG" sneaks its way into the conversation.... funny little word really... just saying it.. transforms me... the brain starts firing, the pulse races, my eyes begin to sparkle.. and I am sure my hairs goes a bit crazier on my head... "oh, you are interested.. well, come this way, step into my non-office.. it has a computer out of the way that you can view, at your leisure"....and then I begin with the whole process...... have fun... I say to the young lady... "Don't make any moves till I come back!!!"..... and so she waits..... crap, I hate it when I have to work... eventually I make my way back into the office... she was well on her way to becoming slightly addicted... I could tell.... because I left work before she did... and she was off over 2 hours ago.. I'm sure if I was to phone.. she would answer.... another one transformed into blogger world at the snap of the fingertips...mind you she was the first to follow through.

Friday, September 10, 2004

Pausing a moment for real laughter...

I will just set the record straight. I loved the last post.. it made me laugh, I wrote it with humour in mind, and it made me laugh... not real gut wrenching laughter... but it made me chuckle. See, that's what I do.. I laugh... or I Ha!, because that is bigger laughter. Then there is always the trickster laughing which comes along as he he he he he he. (if you try hard.. you could actually be capable of this laughing style..maybe even as an art form, but you would have to try).. you know the type... peering from around the corner with the shoulders blades bobbling up and down... Yes! exactly that type of laughter.

There is one thing...I do not lol, ever. Never ever. I will not, say it, speak it, write it, wish it, or spill it... not ever will there be a lol coming from me. I love to waste the extra three seconds it's gonna take for me to type "laughing and laughing!".... because that's what I do...HA!

In love...

It is so nice being in love... that nice warm content fuzzy feeling that permeates around your aura. Your life is content when you are in love with... my mesmerizing green clock, the deeply rich hot cup of coffee that sits before me... the 65o mg Tylenol that is working wonders for my headache, the sound of just the washer and dryer running in my house, in love with the black screen on the television, and the silence that floats from it. I am so in love that the fall weather is approaching, and the daylight is getting shorter, which means that children go to bed earlier.. and the computer screens can be mine once again... that is what love really is.... really.

This spell will be broken at 3:00 PM when the children are picked up from their containment area, and transferred back home to be free to roam the hallways, dens and refridgerators of this once contented space.


I just spent a couple moments and cleaned out my pocket purse/wallet. I actually have things in there.. like credit cards and debit cards.. and change, I even found actual paper money..... I thought that this was recycle central for all the important pieces of paper of the world. Now that I have found that I own credit cards.. time is a wasting here... must go see if they still work.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

Must. Act. Quickly.

This will have to be fast.. Mr Tiredhusband is fast asleep on the couch... I will quickly get to our bed.. and watch some shows in peace and quiet.....
Our neighbours heard the willow tree fall into their backyard... (how odd)....Mr. Cleanandtidy will have to put down his tidying rags this weekend.. and become Chainsaw Charlie.. he likes that little gig... he was that a number of weeks back as he took down a cedar from the I winced from a far...boys and their toys.... especially obnxious loud toys.. speaking of toys.. Pip and I came home from her soccer practice and Mr. Birthdaypresenthusband was busy racing his Hummer out around our road... he was quite pleased with his little gift.. and confused.. he wasn't sure why we needed another remote control vehicle in this home. My answer... something more for the kids to fight over... aaah crap the show is coming to an end.. he will be awake soon.. will have to go if I wish for any quality TV at all.... eeeekkkk!!!!!! as she scuries down the hallway as quiet as a mouse.. and not to upset the evil german shepherd queen that is sitting next to me... one wrong move and this could be all over.... great, I just heard the channel change... great ... freaking remote hog!

Well I lied....

Can you believe this.. how in the world am I awake half the night, and the Mr.Notsosilent is busy sleeping.... and yet he heard a big crash in the back yard. How is that? How does he get to hear the big crash.. I have to review the steady stream of shows that I reviewed in the great middle of darkness...because it was then that our fourty year old willow tree twisted, snapped then fell over.. and crashed. There was no wind either. He was the one asleep and I was the one awake...or was I?

drizzle drizzle tick tick

Well, what shall I talk about..... think think think... ah click....
My green clock tells me that it is 2:50 am, minus the sound of the ticking, but I can see the second hand chugging along...and it is nicely raining outside, hence the drizzle.. looking to my right I can see that we have finally shut the sliding glass door. This door has remained open all summer... day and night, home or not home... with the exception of the screen, that remains shut.. for fear of bugs you know... The evil queen that will be a mere 11 years young in three weeks also doubles as the evil gate keeper. NOTHING, NOTHING and NOTHING... can get past her.. except flies.. she doesn't have a taste for flies, she does however enjoy the taste of bees... bees are included in the NOTHING category of getting past her. Any minute now the evil queen will be taking up her post at the front window and letting out her loudest and evilest of frenzied barking that she can muster the strength for at this decidedly dark middle of the night hour... as the paper fellow will be delivering the paper soon. I have to say though.. he is quite good at avoiding her snarls, as he is quite quiet and manuevers our mailbox with supreme silence. Horray for him... mr expert paperdeliveryman. We pay by creditcard for the paper.. sorry fellow no tip for you.... he he he . The clock struck three.. my favourite of favourite middle of the night television shows will be coming on right now... Canadian Rivers, followed by Great Canadian Parks, then there is oh damn... my memory is failing me... but it's always something Canadian that makes me stay awake until five.. and then I usually begin to watch the news... just in time to be really tired and need to go back to sleep at 5:45, just to wake up again at around 6:15 so I can watch a baby story... cause that is all kind of sweet and special and gushy and almost stupid really... but it gives me something to listen to... and then by 7:00 my favourite history channel comes on... and I learn about great people... couldn't tell you any of their names right now... but the problem with that is... I have to get up at 7:00 to get myself ready for the day... so that I can get the chicklets ready for school, and pack their crap.. so the whole 7:00 show becomes a problem if I am up half the night watching other Canadian shows... what to do, what to do... well, as the evil queen has parked herself in the livingroom, I will now take up residence on the couch in the den, with my most favourite shows, and the fishy blanket that keeps me warm.. as the clock ticks, and it continues to drizzle.. and the real reason I am awake is because my most favourite tidy person is sleeping right now...... and he is sleeping way way too loudly. I say that because I am a polite wife... he he he he.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

Anybody have a two four???

That's right.. a two four.. I am not certain why I let my sister drag me to places that are completely unreasonable. Ultimately, absolutely and completely unreasonable. I am the older sister... so therefore naturally I should be the boss. She is two years younger than me, therefore two years much sillier than I. I let my reign slip a bit this evening.

For some reason all of the world seems to be sold out of the Crayola 24 colour package of crayons. Really and truely, they have become non-existant. That would be the reason why there was a line up twenty people deep at Staples. I had to question her sanity (and mine)... "Are you really going to stand in a lineup this long for 24 crayons?" I promised her success if she would leave this beehive of activity... and empty crayon shelves. I suggested "The Stupidstore", surely they will have your colours... and besides.. the lineups will always give us entertainment value. I was correct, because.... I am the older sister.

Talking to Mr. Tentative.

So Mr Tentative new employer wanted to meet me... right now.... right right now. I decided to conduct my own interview over the phone. He insisted that I come on down and meet him... and I insisted that I had just one more question about his great place of employment.... in the end.. I won... I needled away tiny questions... you know.. the stuff that rules things that would be on a pros and cons list.... he very quickly answered some questions that would have been put on a cons list... so yae.. I say to him.. I have just ruled out this job for being for me.. sounds great.. sounds like I am about 4 years to early for it....sounds like I would like to have more money... without actually saying that... and guess what... I have just saved "you"... Mr Tentative Employer... a whole bunch of time.... says me.. the woman that now works every single freaking weekend from now until eternity... since I can not find a job that will suit my very particular little requirements. Oh, and I work Mondays to.. and another day of my choosing in the week. But nooooooo, I don't work full-time... now do I? Excuse me, the dryer just went off.

I have two children that make me crazy..

WE have these two kids that contribute to my craziness, well and two dogs... they get in on the "Creation Craziness Quotient" as well. But now the blogger thing has gotten a hold of this piece of information... and is making me crazy....I will have to quit this blogger thing if it doesn't settle... I wish I could quit the kids some days... but apparantly you're not allowed to do that...or so I have heard....
Can someone tell me what this means.... and why would a person that has isolated herself to only understanding the English language be able to make heads or tales with this message:

001 EOF while reading from control connection

What in the world is going on??

I have mailed to the blogger people for help... just blogger help.. not help in real life... although if they can't give me any suggestions.... it's gonna start affecting my real life.. that could be dangerous.... a crazed blogger working mother.... not sure if that is safe on the streets.. I'd rather see a black bear walking next to me!!!!

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

This is going to make me crazy..really.

Okay, now it's down to point form... I detest this bad blogger... bad, bad bad. I have twice written a post... yes twice... twice I have written words that will only confuse me in years to come... this will be the last... otherwise nails will be popping up on computer screens everywhere. I even tried control c-ing it... and it wouldn't do what it said it would do.... the crap that I was going to throw on here seems hardly worth it.. not worth it at all.. so now it's the deeply condensed mad crazy woman version.
I find an ad for a job.. perfect. It has me written all over it.. with the exception that it is full-time. I don't do full-time. Can't. Not. Wont. Refuse. Absolutely refuse.
Anyways... I decide on a whim to email a resume ... not sure why... I never hear back from people when I do this sort of thing. The email doesn't go through. Just as well, I don't want full-time. Well, the email doesn't go through until the Silverlady starts to act all persnickity, and I turn her off to set her straight... when she comes back on... my email goes through... whoops, forgot about that little number. Oh well, going on past experience I wasn't concerned about hearing from them. Hmm..Today, I hear from someone. Figures, figures, figures. Wouldn't you believe it, not only do they get back to me within the hour of the "accidental emailing".. now they are ANXIOUS, and would an interview at MY CONVENIENCE. I believe I have emailed the twilight zone. I will call tomorrow to confirm if my suspiscion. Or not.

How weird is life... I need a reminder?

On a whim last evening I emailed a resume to a place that I would be interested in working at, and to sound even more odd, I am not sure why I even did it... I think I was just daring someone to call me. It is full-time, or so the ad says with the 37.5 hours attached to it. The e-mail didn't go through. Oh well, it wasn't meant to be. That's alright... I can take it... I have sent out a "wack" of resumes in my time... to hear from KNOW ONE !!! I'm not hurt... I've turned an immune eye to the employers who lack the money and manpower of an acknowledgement. Soooooo, this morning prior to baking cookies before school... I got a bit PISSED at the computer, and turned it off and on.. to reset the lovely silver lady.... of course once I did that .... I saw my email being sent. OOOPS. Oh well.. I won't hear from them.... I won't hear from them until I read an email from the fellow after I return home from the kids first day at school.... an hour after I mistakenly sent the bloody thing. Figures. Figures. Figures. This person is ANXIOUS to meet me... and wanting to set up an interview at MY CONVENIENCE... is this an actual employer talking to me??? I might have drifted into the twilight zone... really. I think that's where I sent that e-mail... to an employer that answers you the very day you mistakenly send them a resume. Hmmmm. Too bad I can't consider the fine sounding job.... It's ok, I still have my 2 jobs that I get to juggle all year long anyways...I'm just wondering if I should make the call.... just to talk to the human on the other end... and thank him for acknowledging my accomplishments laid out on a piece of paper !!!!! Or not.

So this is how it all went down...

The youngsters and myself made our way to school... on the first day, on time. That is the last time that will happen... I am the 9:00 on the button parent...I try, but can't help it... anyways, there are reasons why you leave certain things for the very last minute... like baking cookies for the parents while they waited around for the whole 45 minutes the kids were in school. So, as I go to find a spot to put the fesh out of the oven warm cookies... I find the Parent Association President.. and I go to hand her the bag... and then this woman walks up and starts ranting and raving about her child being frisked by cops the day before... I start thinking.... cookies, cops, cookies, cops, cookies... well I guess the cop thing takes presidence... as I am walking away I realize she isn't recounting a story.. she is practically yelling at the PAC pres lady...apparantly the PAC pres lady called the cops because some kids were hanging around, with backpacks, and looked like they were doing drugs.... so the hysterical mother is yelling, and waving her finger at both of us... and that's when the freshly baked cookies came in handy... "So" I cut in "where do you want me to put these?" I ask the PAC pres lady.... and make a eye motion to move it. I separate them.... as we walk into the staffroom with the cookies.... and leave the PAC pres lady in there in her dazzlement. I leave the staffroom, to walk back into the hallway, where the hysterical mom feasts her eyes upon me.. and begins to drill me.... I looked the crazed woman straight in the eyes and told her... "I am here bringing my two children to school, beyond that I have nothing to do with what you are going on don't bother talking to me or anyone else about it"... and walked away... ( I have very, very mean eyebrows... my scowl alone should have frightened her)....I have decided I wont talk with her any longer !! That was the first five minutes of school for me.. next time I will be late... and I won't bring cookies.

Just the start of beautiful new day....

I was up part of the night... all night... thinking about today. But now, I am wide awake, fresh coffee at the helm... and of course closing in the on the 9 oclock hour. The lovely first day of school.....
Bye bye kiddies.....! Love ya, and your thoughts, ideas, personalities, blue eyes, creamsoda bikerides, hissing episodes, fighting festivals, laughing fits, spazzy moments, battling toothbrushes, remote control hogs, bearwatching buddies, shoe-lace non-tiers, mess-makers, grocery nightmare children.... see ya, see ya.... see ya in 45 minutes when you're done your first day at school.... where you will come back to me and find new ways to make me crazy... love ya..... hurry back... I wont be able to survive the sanity... and you know it....beasts.

Monday, September 06, 2004

The ABC's.... new version

Australain Wine
Bell peppers,
Bear watching with binnoculars,
Baking will wait until tomorrow morning,
Best go Bundle the Beastly Babe for her Beauty rest and.....
CSI.....must go.

Somethings obvious.... not sure what...

So it's Mr Cleanandtidysilenthusband's birthday tomorrow. Since today is Sunday, and as I have previously mentioned, he talks to me on Sundays. Today he mentioned that he found some cargo pants that he would like to buy... except that they are 59.99... and he was going to wait for a couple of weeks to buy them. Very interesting that he should mention that to me today, being talkative Sunday and all... and his birthday tomorrow... should I be confused by this. (And by the way.. I already have a little something special for him... tick tick tick tick tick... interesting answer, this is actually what it is... I have got him a great big remote control Hummer that he can race up and down the street......gotta go.. he's behind me..

Saturday, September 04, 2004

Are you afraid of the dark?

Fraidycat son is watching "creepy canada". It's all about ghosts and stuff. He's terrified of the dark, or sounds that come from the dark... or the sound that darkness makes. He's terrified that there might be ghosts, or there are ghosts, of if he will be a ghost. All I am hearing now Mommy, it's back on, Mommy it's back, Mommy it's back on, ...............MOMMY......because I have to watch it with him... because it is creepy afterall!

Still in hiding.....

The people here today are way more normal than the night people that were here first thing this morning. WAY, WAY MORE NORMAL. I like normal people.... they give me something to aspire to. I take little mental notes of peoples actions, reactions, perceptions... and then invent my own methodoligies as to how I would react to certain situations..... it's all very bizarre. I have had a lot of fun throwing out tons of stuff at work today..... tons... of ..... stuff...... I hope that somebody didn't need any of it.... because it's gone now..... I lack insight into this situation... it's funner to throw things out then realize that it was important afterwords....well people are beginning to throw my name around... failing to realize that I am hiding back here.. hence the silence out there... must run...

One eye closed

Shhhhhh... all is quiet.....I'm at work..7:00.. nice way to start the coffee with cream, and one Tylenol 8 hour, with 650 mgs of acetaminophen sustained release. I have a 2nd Tylenol close at hand, in case the first Tylenol doesn't realize it's supposed to keep me happy for 8 hours. I am in a little office.... and I am already hearing the goings on of the day.... now I am frightened to go out their....the people are already fighting. I'll just keep hiding... maybe nobody will notice that I am not at my spot. I will be back..... my day will keep me here until 8:00 tonight...... they've spotted me, so it's too late.... I will have to leave this post, to take up residence "out there" with the fighting people.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

It's a B

that's what kind of day it has been. I will quickly type... all the people that inhabit my home + one furry beast are all out.... walking and watching bears.... I must think quickly....
So, if I had to grade today... it would have been a "B"...... because....
  1. I Baked with Bananas.
  2. Returned Bottles.
  3. Returned Books to the library.
  4. Bought Books from a Book store.
  5. Watched the Bears.
  6. Booked swimming lessons
  7. Went for a Bikeride.
  8. Blogged!
  9. Bought some vases for some Bouquets....
  10. Chased by Bees while we got rid of our Bottles.

There's more... but it doesnt Begin with B so it will remain a secret..... bah ha ha ha

Do you suffer from "publishing paranoia"

It's a good thing that no research, contemplation, insight, logic, reflective or inspirational words are written on my blog. Not that it would be a bad thing... it's just the fact that in one push button moment... it could all be lost. Lost, gone, done, forever... it's happened a couple of times to me... I've rambled out some stories.... in an organized fashion to boot.... and ****poof****.

So now, as I push that button to publish.. I have one eye closed..... and then sit and watch as the percentage either sits at ZERO... or moves along... but if it doesn't move along fast enough.. I know there is doom involved.

Not only do I now ramble too much, now I have "PP"! :)

How much do you love bananas??

Today is the day I am going to make banana bread... it's the kind of thing that you can keep putting off, because the main ingrediants have already turned disgusting. Stinky soft black dotted gushy bananas.. those are the best... and then you freeze them. I have no more room to store bananas in my freezer...and I have six on the counter... it's time. Truth be told, I can't stand baking... because I can't stand the mess... It's not that I am a messy baker... I don't like baking and the mess... see the list will keep growing if I keep thinking. I'll have to cut this short.. otherwise those beautiful specimans will find themselves in my garden compost rather than a loaf, with their chemical friends called chocolate chips. The chemical guys show up to ensure interest factor in the banana loaf. I feel like the Betty Crocker Baking Lab people.... "what will entice the little people now?".... "how can we get these people to come back and buy (eat) more, more, more.......!!!!", but I'm just a mother that wants to use up her bananas.....must go... the 9+ boy is here.... can't let him see my secret plans..... see I really am the Betty Crocker Baking Lab lady...

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Hello again;

I'm a constant. Once I get hung-up on something, it's hard to pull me away. Everynight.... I'm a bear watcher. Tonight was interesting. We saw a big bear walk out on a flimsey limb of a tree... it dangled precariously their for a while, before slowly scaling back across the limb... he eventually fell....and took of running. Then we saw a mother and her cubs and then another black bear. One of the cubs skittered up a pole (?electrical) and the mother and one cub made it across the roadway. (A roadway with one vehicle driving up and down it). I'm not sure where the other cub went to. We saw deer in the field, and the deers were bouncing and the bears were scampering... right past one another. Not sure what got into everyone's wheaties today. Safari girl came with me.... she sits on top of the head rest in the passenger seat with the binoculars slung around her neck. This is her favourite thing... I am worried for her when she is 19. I can only imagine what she'll get up to!!!! Here you go sweetheart... have another 3 chocolate bars...

Last chance....

School is fast approaching... I need to find people to look after my little people very quickly. If I don't turn the calendar over... then I can live in a perpetual summer. Life might be cheaper that way... and august people will win over and over (birthdays and junk)... kind of like groundhog day... but it's always august 1st after the 31st.... I am not certain if I want to do all the things that I will be forced to do over the next 10 months. Just today we went along and looked at a gymnastics group for the Pipster.....I will add that to the list of things that the youngsters are into. ... Now I am scheming... I want to figure out a way for myself to work on Sunday evenings.. and somebody can take my Friday days. The hours are not conducive to being a parent. Yes, that's my thought for today. It's 5:30 here... in BC time.. if I was a kind wife I might make my workaholichusband some dinner... that's only if I was a kind wife, I best go make that my next thought of the day..."Am I a kind wife?"....