Saturday, April 30, 2005
The girl told me that she likes going to see the bears, and deers and the beautiful nature that surrounds them... but she also told me that she enjoyed watching the scenery with people that love her. My Pipenza... always slips in a bit of kindness...just so you think she likes you.
From the not-interesting-but-must-tell-file:
I went through the car wash earlier... and if you bought the most expensive car wash you got a dashboard cleaning cloth. Sure!.... So me and my new cloth took the 15 year old SUV through the carwash... and I was so busy cleaning my dashboard, and spaces and nooks and crannies and vent things that I almost forgot to exit the car washing event. I have clean happening inside and out... that's impressive for a Saturday night... after being a work the whole day. But then I do impressive events on a regular basis... but do not spill the beans, or care not to tell the tales, or more like... it's just not interesting enough to remember.. that's more like it.
Todays special at Osaka Sushi was the BC Roll.. smoked salmon, cucumbers and avacado... built to perfection. The girl got her most famous cucumber rolls... hers, all hers... and know one was allowed to dip their hands into her Sushi stash. The wasabi wasn't too hot tonight... and there is never enough ginger.... but of course... it was all delicious....
The homestead is still in one piece after "Teen Tina" came to town... some good dish leftovers in the sink for "someone" tomorrow... but everyone seemed to have a good day.... but that was all about to end for "Teen Tina"... because she was going across the street tonight to make more cash, but with the high maintenance children... which include being just a little bit too much work.
The brilliant boy of mine has just come to me with some very worthwhile advice.... do not drink milk and orange juice within 30 minutes of one another... somehow it just doesn't go down right. Go away boy... go away, and plan safely... if you feel the need to rid yourself of the offending fluids... feel free to visit something called the bathroom, and have good aim. My silly boy.
Our friend the Vancouver Cop, but performs as our resident cop has once again caught an offender making off with someone's pressure washer this morning. I't so nice having a crackhead living in a house that should be (oooops) burnt to the ground, to rid the space of the dirt that is so apparent.
The girl has just announced she needs to go to bed immediately... I jump to those kinds of orders... must go let her get her beauty rest... which has nothing to do with beauty but has much to do with her personality.. an unrested Pip is a ticket straight to hell... I am not necessarily into hell much these days.
AND... last but not least... I got gas today at 92.3. Yae yae hooray.. now that's a deal for the day. Now that's a sad reality. AND... last last but not all least... Mr Husbandman is asleep.. on the couch.... so that means that I have breakaway time to watch a little telly before he up and decides that he wants to go to bed.... and it's only 9:30. I have hit the bigtime... but I hear footsteps... somebody wants something... must go.
Friday, April 29, 2005
The people that come to rip up your lawn with their machines and poke holes in the ground made it here today. I thought they were going to be here this morning... they didn't arrive until 6:10 PM. I was just speaking to my mother on the phone... and telling her my story of sadness about the no-lawn-repair... and then I heard buzzing, whirling, and machinery. My yard had become a beehive of activity. By this time I had Mushroom Manure bags and Topsoil bags, and containers, and tulips bulbs strewn about my front yard. They cleaned it all up for me... and then proceeded to rip apart the grass, pull out moss, and topped it off with fertilizer. This made me happy. They were gone in fourty minutes... I couldn't have accomplished that much work in fourty minutes time. The lawn man told me he liked my lawn, it was a good one. I am not quite sure how a nasty moss/weed infested is a good one.. but even the helper boys were thrilled by the sights they had scene. They even took the green waste container out. Now, if only I could get them to come by every week... I wonder if they could do Sushi preparation that fast too.
We had a chance to whip down and see the bears... and we spotted them.. grazing in the field. Mr. Husbandman was not certain of the success of this quick trip... but it was, including two deers with black tails.
Birthday Party preparations for the Pipenza are ahead of schedule. I actually have the balloons and crap that this girl is hoping for... already purchased today. Along with that, is the craft that we are going to do while she is having her party. I hate birthday parties. Really. I hate planning them, I hate asking for certain kids to come, and then having to leave others out. I hate the whole event... I say hate, hate, hate. But, it keeps the Pipenza happy... and a happy Pipenza is a happy life... BELIEVE ME when I say that. OH, and in other boring party events.. she did manage to get a invitation to a birthday party by a girl in her class... this girl usually invites the whole class... but she did qualify for an invite... but... she is refusing to go.. on the grounds that she is going to get stuck in her wet bathing suit and will miss out on the party. She's already had one embarressing bathroom event this year.. and would prefer to not have another one.. so she tells me. This is going to take some work to convince the wild child that she is capable.
The Babysitter girl is coming tomorrow.... I have to leave the house all neat and tidy... to serve as a reminder as to how it is to be left tomorrow evening when Mr. Husbandman comes home. She's good with them... although I have had a small cause for concern when she walks them to the corner store, after they dump their piggy banks out with all their cash. I can just say... SAFETY first... and they are safe... maybe perhaps full of sugar... but safe. I have to leave an obvious reminder of what an empty kitchen sink looks like... and the fact that I would like it kept that way.
Crap.... I wanted to wash my 15 year old white SUV today.. but gee... didn't get enough time... it's dirty from all the backroad driving from going to see the bears. I was willing to take it through the car wash.. but once again... timing was a factor.
I am Mushroom Manure happy... this will be the BIG ONE for this summers garden bonanza. At least that is what I am hoping for.... every year I put together a garden.. and then hiss and swear... and shoot evil eyes at it all summer... and then say to myself on a chronic basis... "what the fuck I am doing with this.... I hate this shit!"... Next year I am doing something different. Today is that I day that I made a difference.... I have added mushroom manure to everything... so in a couple of days.... when the earth has settled, and the manure is burning the crap out of the roots of all my plants.. I will be back... swearing and cursing in even more capitals... so it's best that if you read, you read with blinders... for those with a soft center that is. But for now.. I am happy with the results... I have planted a whack of plants in my pots ... and I am working at revamping the front section... where much ugliness occurs on a regular basis. .... but this will be no more .... !! I may slice otherwise. No pressure here.
Now... the dryer has buzzed for it's allotted time of a minute and a half of an electricution awareness fright ... so it's best that I go and tend to it's calls... I wouldn't want a warning button to go off.... again.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Things were good tonight.... yes, the Pipster had to go to the bathroom, but I told her "too bad so sad" ... you had your chance before we left home. She seemed OK with that harsh decision, and did not tempt for my temper to flare while I was witnessing "ball". The boy even was in his "ballplayer" mode. He behaved like a ball player, in all ways.... he even jumped out of the way, when the ball was heading straight for him...and let the fielder field that quickly travelling little white speedster. He knows what he's doing... I think. Anyways... along comes husbandman.. with little Miss Ellpee. And blip.. like that .. I am home.. with Ellpee and the Pipster. Tonight was Ellpee's turn for acting up... she was totally wacked. Her level of cryability was definitely heightened... and even Mr. Calm-and-cool husbandman had had enough of her. But it's all good...the Pip and I are at home to watch the beginnings of Survivor... and now I can't miss that.
I'll be back for more snail talk..... later.
It's a cheese and jam kind of day... if only I could get the girl on the same gig...I'm not worried.. I am sure she will grow into that taste. I have been up since 4:55.. or so the clock told me... well I haven't actually been up.. my tingling nose woke me up.. and the only remedy for that is a nice cup of tea. So, ... I have been up really... straightening things that may have looked messy at five oclock in the morning... and now it's eight oclock... and things are still messy. I hate those morning gnomes.. always undoing things that you have done. I will speak to the beautiful garden fairy lady (pictured below)... and see if she can't have a chat with the messy buggers.
And... of things that will make me late, and have no interest to the average readers file:
I have two snails that have made their way up my front window. I say "Get Off Damn Snails, Get Off!". The most interesting thing is... I can see the snails through our french door that have bevelled glass...which makes the snails multiply. I must go unstick them immediately.
The girl has not woken up... this could be frightening... I need to write a book: "How to Make your Daughter Fit for the Public School System in a Magical Minute".....I will go research that very subject now.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Oh.. and the boy... being as laundry challenged as he is.... wanted to know what was wrong with the towels in the bathroom. What did I do to them, and how could I let something like that happen to the towels in the bathroom... because now he can barely used them. Son, that's what is called "hanging out on the line to dry". I told him. Obviously a foreign concept to the suddenly oblivious child.... "we have a line, to hang things on...??..." "No son, I just put hardening blocks in the dryer"... I say. "I thought you did something wrong"...
I would like to take a pictue of the banana man, if I could. He lives rather close to me, and the corner store. I can tell the route he takes back and forth from the store, as he leaves banana peels from his home to the store. The other day I saw him carrying a bag of banana peels. He must be changing his ways.... or he had made mamy trips to the corner store for singular purchases of his beloved bananas. Perhaps he is supplementing his potassium level organically, rather than medically. Who knows, but the banana man holds no expression, so I am not sure if these bananas are really doing it for him or not.
I went to Costco today... to pick up more bottled water. I will be doing the same next week, and the week after. I am addicted, just me and my Kirkland screw off caps, it goes down quite smoothly. So, in an effort to unaddict myself to bottled water from Costco, I am having a Smirnoff Ice. ... I may end with a Kirkland chaser.. in case I start to get the shakes.
In other useless happenings of the day... my boy impressed me bigtime with his boogie scale that he was able to play. Now some people may know all about these boogie scales... but not me.. and when he played it... it was real music to my ears. I asked him when he learned it... and he apparantley he had learned it last week at piano... and was secretly playing it... and therefore practicing it. So, when the end of today had come.. and we had 30 minutes to spare before we had to leave for the girls FINE gymnastics adventures he played this.... and all the other stuff he was supposed to practice and didn't....and the little bastard was good. OMG... how does that happen?!
Oh.. and more useless happenings of the day.. I am trying to put together a grouping of songs that I can play for my Stroke Group... since they have a new piano and all. Perhaps when I play... it may sound like I am able to play something... not some rin-tin-tin madcap half-assed-thank-you-but-please-stop-playing-for-us adventure. BECAUSE.... this way.... I don't have to know the whole song... but a whole chain of melody's that will check people's musical sides, as well as their short term memories. I have it all planned out... now if only I can do some practicing... and have this music come as easily to me, as it does to my boy.
OK, now the girl is listing off all the book orders that she is needing...we are up to about 13 books now, and growing. And the little Pipenza informs me once again... that she is quite happy to be put to bed... because that is when she does all her "sneak reading" of all her chapter books. What evil mother could deny her child catless dreams... who, I say... who!!!!!?
Oh... and even more useless tales... the girl and I took a walk down towards the bear territory while the boy was at piano. My Pipster strikes my funny bone sometimes.... "Oh, great" she starts... "this walk was going just fine, and it is all beautiful out here, until now...." she says... "and then I fluffed, I've ruined the view"... she says. Then she finds these rattling bush weeds... and proceeds to find the noisiest of the rattlers to present to me. I take a million pictures of the (MOMENTARY) princess.... and try to capture her blond locks in the setting sun. Once inside the vehicle she starts up NEEDING a slurpee, or she will die... they just found out about them the other day... in fact ... 3 days ago... and now she has addiction problems. I will not let her near my Kirkland Screw Caps... I'm sure we would both have to go to counselling over that one.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
The girl on the otherhand... is blond. I am not used to her using such language with me. "What did you say to me!"... I hissed.. and then I laughed (inside my head) when she boldly spoke of her transitional object... and I couldn't help but correct the sweet chicklet.. you have a non-transitional object I say to Miss Pip... you clearly haven't left your blanket behind...your stuck in some stage!!!... I say to the girl. She doesn't get it. All she knows is that she can present her transitional -non-transitional object to the class. I was worried for her... I am not certain if she would have been able to work at all at school.. or just lay her head on her fancied up desk top and just sit and day dream... because that is where I was certain that she was heading for the day.
I now have her tucked up in bed, with her non-transitional object, her red slippery jammies, her 35 cats and 2 unicorns, and a head full of clean braided hair. I won't speak of the screams that it took to get that head of hair clean... and yet when I got the filthy sap covered Pipenza into the shower after a struggle, and a tug of war with her non-transitional object... she simmered right down. Yes, she and the shower almost became one with each other. So, all going well.. for tomorrows "do-of-the-day" (aka the hairstyle)... it could be crazy and fluffy... very similar to her crazy and fluffy personality. OH.... and just thinking about that... here's another useless thought that needs to be shared:
We were at the ballfield earlier tonight to watch the ball playing/ singing & dancing boy play ball. I think I watched him sing more than play ball, but I wont fully commit to the last statement.. I have to give some credit that goes to complete boredom in the field. Anyways... along cruise some young girls.. all looking delightful and springlike with their badly coloured hair, and their chubby tummies hanging over their little short skirts. "Oh christ....what can I do.. so that we just don't have to deal with that...."... I say to Mr Husbandman, and to one of the scrapbooking Debbie's who happened to be at the park... at that exact moment the girls (mine & my adopted one from across the street)... ask for some cookies that I had picked up at the bakery, along with the Tuesday Bunwich Festival for Dinner......"sure... take two..." I say to both the screaming mimi's. .... as the youthful short skirted beauty's make their way past the park....
Monday, April 25, 2005
I watched the girl do some kind of stunt on the trampoline... I am not certain if your back is supposed to be able to bend like that... but she was able to.. mind you... she wasn't happy about the unintended stunt... after she got up and walked away... I was happy. If she starts screaming MA! MA! in the middle of the night and complain that her legs have fallen asleep.. I will know that it was a stunt gone wrong.
We went bear sight-seeing again tonight. We spent a great deal of time watching the mama and her two cubs. They are all pretty small, and these cubs are from last year... so they have a lot of bulking up to do before Ma Ma sends them on their wary way.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
I like the pink petals that rain down upon us from the pink cherry blossom trees. Of course our tree in the front yard is a Japanese Plum tree, and it has chincy pink petals that bloomed a couple of weeks ago, and then disappeared into the wind. Then of course there are the beautiful tulip blooms that are raging with vibrant colour. Which brings to mind my brand new tulips that came up this year..... I am sure they would have been full of colour.. if they would only have grown properly, and their leaves hadn't curled and buds would have formed.
Oh yes.. I was writing of refreshing... there is nothing better than cruising down the highway with your sunroof open, and the back window down.. and the work crew driving home in front of you.... with their tar tub bubbling away. I LOVE THAT SMELL. Really... it's like opening a really fresh bag of black licorice.. it's that good of a smell. But of course I couldn't do that tar kind of work... now that would be bad, and too hot... and I think it would be too much of good thing.. and I would end up hating that lovely smell. I can't have that.
Now, there was something that I noticed today.. and it just freaked me out. A couple was sitting on a motorbike at a stoplight. I was afraid... because they both barely fit onto this bike... she was almost riding on the fender. One bad bump and that would be it for her rump. It just wasn't good to look at.
All of my hard work got unloaded at the dump. I only have the cleaned up pictures to proove anything... and not that they proove anything at all... I have no before shots.
The new old dryer buzz is going to kill me. It buzzes forever, and ever. I want a non-buzzing dryer.... or how about a little remote control voice... "hey.. you can come collect me now that I am all warm"..... and me... being the heat seeking person that I am.. would race to the dryer, rather than run from the sound of electrical shock that goes on forever that I am currently hearing.
I have managed to do something great this week... I managed to buy birthday invitations, and write on them, and have the girl hand them out all in 2 days. This is truely a miracle.... but what is even more of a miracle is the fact that I am going to have her birthday party on her actual birthday. Now that is truely stunning. I will bow gracefully now.... hold the applause.. I can only have so much noise going on at once.. and right now the dryer is busy buzzing. It doesn't seem like much to the naked eye... but if you were to know the truth about the boy, and his belated birthday situation... you would understand... so boy..... "When was your last birthday??"... I ask him.. OH, let me think... he taps at his temple... and seems puzzled, no wait confused... no clearly dazed.... "Birthday? Birthday... is that what you said mother.... ? What is this Birthday that you speak of... is it something fun, or is it similar to homework?" he asks.... "Yes son, it's similar to homework...I say"... "No thank-you then... he says". This actual conversation did not happen, but the facts are the truth. We now have a belated birthday for 2 years for the boy... as he coninues to wait patiently.... perhaps I will purchase some invites for him... in the next year or two. I am evil...... he he he he he he he he.
The girl on the otherhand knew exactly what a birthday was... anything that marked a milestone was a cause for a celebration. Yae... let's celebrate.. with 10 other squealing girls and crafts. It should be a grand time... and oh... how fortunate that Mr. Husbandman will be home on this day! One good thing... is at 6:01, when everyone is gone... the house will be all neat and tidy once again... I was thinking ahead on this one!
I have noticed that the Logger Guy isn't returning my calls to quickly about our broken willow tree. I will remind him tomorrow.... I wonder if he takes Mastercard.... because it will worth the price to pay... if I can get a couple of airmiles out of the deal.
On that thought... Mr. Husbandman is warming up to the idea of flying to Disneyland and being a tourist for a short while. I did suggest that we fly to the other end of Canada... and tour the East Coast... but then he said to me that we still would need to go to Disneyland... I think I may have planted a seed...I will get to leave the province yet!
OH, and the last thought... I have to give back my library book this week.....I haven't made it through a quarter of the book. Hot hot damn! I think I am going to request it again... and then in 2 weeks I can finish reading it.... unless I do a marathon reading thing... which I do not think I will do... but it would be fun to try!
The sky is bursting with beautiful rays of sunshine... and I have been at work missing it all. These are the remnants of the Happy Anniversary flowers that Mr. Husbandman gave me.. but they had to be sent to the great outdoors.. because ants have invaded us.. and they have a great like for my flower vase.
Friday, April 22, 2005
Well, I wish I could have more to say... but the boy is busy fluffing and upping my hair...so I am stunted for thoughts... except for those that keep flying out of his mouth, including his songs. I have to pay attention to that right now.
Oh, and we have ants. It's April and we have ants... yae oh yae... I think this time... we are going to treat them very badly this time to start... they will think twice about seting up their nasty little homesteads in our 1365 square foot already occupied homestead.
Ok, I am so glad that my girl is locked in the backyard at this very moment. She is looking quite pipsterish.... with her black patent shoes, and her sky blue skort, and her red and navy bathing suit top, with her hair hanging down. She is twirling about on the lawn with some ribbons on a wand. She is a stunning beauty, and seemingly talented.. I will post no pictures of my pip looking like this.. she is almost unrecognizable to me.
The boy disappeared a while ago... he went to the pool with his friend... this was long after he stated that he was not going to set foot inside today, as it was so beautiful outside... he was doing a rather good job at it... until someone came a calling. Now he's gone... which is why the girl has dressed herself up.
Me and the litte digital have been wondering around shooting photos. Interesting little piece of gadgetry....
Going MIA once again....
Thursday, April 21, 2005
She caught two flies yesterday... and being the sickly sweet sister that she is... located the brother for further inspection of her great finds. Once again shrills and shreaks could be heard throughout the massive 1365 homestead, until I told her to let it out the front door. Her brother being all martial-artsy and everything dared her to get them with chopsticks.
Things are all rosy... until the 8 legged spiders appear.... then we have Lujza problem, but on a slightly less screamy scale... by the fru fru girl herself.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Mr. Efficient has rallied over the idea of the dryer from the neighbours. I am listening to the ever so gentle sound of whirling as I type.
My airmiles will have to be refunded back from Sears for the non-new-dryer... but then I am marching upstairs and purchasing my digital camera... once again with my favourite card of year.. my airmiles mastercard.
We had a successful bear hunt tonight.. we saw the mother and her two cubs out and about...
and lastly..... must go read my 613 page book.. now... stat like. I have 8 days to finish.. because I can't renew. Hot damn.. I have to fly.
So the dilemma of the day would be.... do I keep the dryer that I just bought at Sears.. and give up the cash that was to be used for a digital camera... or do I take the dryer that my friend with the outspoken-but-delightful-and-well-loved-by-me-but-you-wouldn't-think-so-from-reading-it-here-daughter has just offered me. All good. All very good. It's slightly used, not a scratch on it... until now... when she was pulling it out from beside the hot water tank. Once again...still good. EXCEPT.... Mr. Husbandman... he's all about efficiency. He'll want to worry about details such as kilowats, and tater-tots, and polkadots, and other ridiculous rules of life. Me, on the other hand, am not too worried. He's so freaking efficient... he disassembled the ramp he built for little Miss Elpee with the crumbling back.. just the other day, now I am still stuck with the broken dryer.... if I only I could dolly it over here, and wheel it up the ramp... and happily be drying clothes by the time he got home.. he wouldn't have much to say in the matter.
What to do ... what to do....
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
A quick list...
- I'm still here.
- I still haven't won the lottery.
- I'm still wishing that I had.
- I'm out digging out my back garden.
- I'm planting perrenials.
- I'm building a small rock wall.
- I'm renovating my front garden.
- I'm still raking out moss.
- I'm needing the tire pumped up on the wheelbarrow.
- I'm looking for the pumper upper thingy.
- I'm still sucking my chicklets into running club every day.
- I'm busy 'VACUUMING' the ugly deck out back.
- I'm serious about number 12.
- I'm getting good mileage from my airmiles mastercard.
- I'm very excited that it is sunny out, and yet I still watered my back garden.
- I'm waiting for Baseball boy and husbandman to get back.
- I'm going scrapbooking with the Debbie's.
- I'm not sure what magical scraps I will throw together.
- I'm wondering what's wrong with my dryer.
- I'm happy... the boys are home!
Friday, April 15, 2005
I have had a request... something of which has never happened to me before... and it's quite exciting to think about! My friend.. who's known little lady Pip for quite some time mentioned to me that I never write about her hair do's... so, on request Lady Lisa.. this is what would be one of the first of many "do's" that the little Fusspot has sported over her years... and to think that this was the beginning. There was a lot of care and attention to detail that went into this "do".. if only I would have known it would have snowballed!
Yesterday morning I sent the Pip off in a such a state that I didn't think she would make it through the day. A state being rather messy for such an early hour of the day. Oh well... Some days that's the way it is... Except for Pip.
When I picked her up from school... she looked an exaggerated version of what had left in the morning... but with more pep, more personality, and a tad dirtier than she was already from the morning. But as I was to find out... This had been the best day of her 7 but almost 8 year old life. As I quickly slammed her runners on her feet and sent her with a snack... she found her way out to running club... where she proceeded to run 5 steps and walk 250. She has her own version... and that's all good.
We traveled to Tae Kwon Do with my two, and the-child-that-isn't-mine-and-corrects-my-two-with-every-word-from-their-mouths-... Until I remind "the child that isn't mine"... Enough please... Pip continued to be pleasant while at TKD...she hates this white costumed event, and since they don't hand out pink belts as a reward for kicking someone... she clearly isn't interested. Pip would do well at TKD.... she would do well kicking targets, and (ooooops) sometimes people.... Perhaps she will have to grow into it... Lord knows she has time... The boy will be going for a while yet..
I fed them a "bunwhich" from the bakery below the TKD school... and got the girl-that-likes-to-hang-around-with-us-all-the-time a cookie. I was hoping that I could drop her off....that didn't happen... I gave her my bunwhich (which is quite tasty!) from the bakery... and all the worlds were good... and we made our way to the boy's ballgame.
Now I knew that the world had been far too good for this part of the day, the Lady Pip had no crisis, situations, or interventions. Either she was slipping through the cracks, or the world really was good when she was in a high state of messy-ness. But... all good things must come to and end. I took her home early from the ball game.
Things went well... I dropped some bath bubbles into her tub of cleanliness... and she was all smiles. Her and her Barbie were lifted to another world. WE tried to get her out when Survivor came along.. but that was a wasted effort. This girl loves Survivor. But, it was all quiet coming from the bathroom...
At the stroke of 8:58 we hear some yelling. Yes, yelling from the bathroom... "MA MA!..... MA MA!.... get me out of here, I have to watch Survivor now,.... (and then the even more dreaded words..) HURRY MA MA .... I am going to miss it".... she yells from way down the hallway. The boy, Mr. Husbandman and myself all sit in horror with the events about to unfold. We are all too scared to move. She roars again........ MA MA.... ARE YOU COMING???. gulp....yes
Before I have a chance to face the lion she has freed herself from the tub, walks to the den... and stands in complete disbelief.. as she watches the credits rolling for Survivor. THAT'S IT... WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE... HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME... YOU ARE ALL EVIL!!! were the first string of words... she continues.. and I let her go on..(she continued to point fingers that it was all my fault, and I let her wail, for a moment, and then I said to her that she refused to get out of the tub... so she paused for a moments thought, but continued on another tyrant).. and through this... her beautiful little face was all pink and pretty, and she had slight curls around the rim of her face, and every sentence ended with a 'ma ma'... and it just sounded so sad. So, what's best for calming the wild beast.....
I made her walk down into my room, and told her to close her eyes... I then opened my closet and reached for a little bag that I had just hidden earlier that day. Inside was a beautiful deep red ice-cream pictured pair of slippery jammies. I slipped them over her head.... and POOF.... the lion had been tamed. "oh Ma Ma... I just love these new slipperies... these are just beautiful!"... as she skittled off to show the still frightened Mr. Husbandman.
The boy was in his room... and was wondering whether there was something for him.... "Yes son, silence".
Thursday, April 14, 2005
She started off all cute... and nice, and not crinkled, and it seemed that she was shaping up to look the part of her favourite statement... "Fashion comes first". Except that didn't happen today. "Fuss..!!!" I yell... "Whatever you do... don't go near a mirror!"... She was a mess, and she hadn't even made it through the front door. Her hair... was ... awful... and it was hanging in her face, and her poof was poofless. If I didn't have the boy, who is ever so worried about getting to school on time, and the girl from across the street that wants to please everyone at every moment.. I would have halted production to put the Pip back on track. but, off we went... and when I watched her walk away... even her pink cheerleader skirt with the pleats was not pleating correctly.... Poor Pip!! You have to love her!
I wont even go into details about the left over dandelion stains AND the felt pen stains on her hands... or the embedded dirt on her knees.... which was attempted to be cleaned up this morning.. with no success.
OH well... tomorrow is a whole new day.
Mr. Husbandman thanked me yesterday. A thank you for fourteen years of hell. Of which was stated to me:
- If he didn't know me, he would be richer.
- If he didn't know me, he would have more hair.
- If he didn't know me, what hair he would have, would be dark.
On those remarks alone.....off I went:
- I spent lots of his (ours) money.
- I coloured by "quad coloured hair don't" to a respectable double hair tint.
- I bought him a non stick deep dish skillet with a lid.... so he can practice putting his hand inside the skillet, with the lid on..... and see what hell is really like.
- I bought him a card..(I did contemplate a "thank-you for your hospitality card")... and then clarified the hair issue: (1) he could remedy that with the aid of science, and (2) the grey didn't really start to take form until the sweetness fusspot-pipster entered our lives, so he would have to rescind the mornings statements, and come up with a better critique about 14 years of hell. And... I am still waiting for a response.
Oh, and to make the day feel even more special... I bought two dinners that I could (kind-of) prepare.... and dessert. What did he eat.... leftovers. Did I care... No!.... now that's love.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Today I had 16 minutes to spare and went lime green hunting for a moment or two.... I went into a place wear they had some lime green to wear.. a zip up jacket, I tried it on .... my first thought... HOLY SHIT...I look like a freaking idiot... this lime green looks awful... do I look this awful in all my lime green... oh my god.. I have been walking around in lime green and looking like a moron. Of course the "quad coloured hair-don't" had an impact on the look of the wierdly shaped jacket... that looked truly bad. I hi-taled it out of that store... and went back to collect children... I know my place. Ho-hum.
I will be on damage patrol control tomorrow when I am out and about doing my errands... inbetween the work day...I may try a different colour for a good result.
MA MA!!.............pause. MA MA !!..............pause....
Why is it this little blondie can get up and take herself for a roam about the home through the darkness of night... and yet with a hint of light in the early am... she yells like a french poodle with a bad hair cut?
I walk into her bedroom.
"Oh, hi... I was just calling to see if you were awake... I am glad you are... because I need to go the bathroom"... as she brushes past me. "It's good to see you awake Ma Ma"...
My eyes then focus on a pink mass of clothing that is sitting on her floor. The girl reads my thoughts....
"Oh, and Ma Ma the Hello's (hello kitty PJ's) were getting me all too hot in the night, so I found my slipperies (a satiny spaghetti strap slip) to put on, and I am nice and cool now".
I tuck her back into bed, and continued on to the kitchen to torment my Mr. Husbandman with a pot of coffee... which he is still not part-taking in the morning coffee ritual.
Ma Ma!! Ma Ma!!.... she calls as she walks down the hall. "What is going on here... I am done sleeping now, I have my blanket.. and I am going to watch some shows... will you tuck me in Ma Ma..."? She walks into the den.
I follow the french poodle with the blue slipperies and tuck her in. Her beautiful blondness smiles at me... and that is my cue that I am excused from her presence.
Ma Ma !!!! ............. Ma Ma............ she comes back to find me after a while. "I'm hungry"
After some negotiations and discussion she agrees amongst herself that this mornings fare will be smoked salmon creamcheese set upon open faced cheese ritz crackers... on her favourite plate, but any plate will do.... she instructs.
"Thank you Ma Ma"... as she takes herself back to the den.
The plate of food is delivered, and the blankets around her are snuggly set into place. She's all smiles... "OOOH, thank-you Ma Ma............"
It's 6:37 hrs. All is well....
Monday, April 11, 2005
And in other disorganized thoughts....
Do I go to a place of higher learning... or do I do self-paced home version of higher learning... but on the otherhand.. I am on the cusp of trying to do some creating... so it's all amuck at the moment... but, just thought I would throw it out there.. to be documented.
That is what has happened here. Right now. Or so it appears by my Miss Fusspot, and just prior to that it was the boy... sitting on my knee... learning tales that will last him a life time, at least I hope it will.
My house is still intact... it's the smaller versions of me that are crumbling around the gills... and I am trying to steady them as best I can.
Miss Carnivore-princess Fusspot is very unhappy that her "meat" is burnt. I guess it's a little dark... but it was left overs from last night... but then I managed to spill a little ceasar salad dressing in her rice... and that put the girl over the edge. She did however do justice on her great number of carrots. Now she's pissed that the boys have gone to the ball field... and she wasn't invited. She doesn't play ball, (or with balls, now that soccer is over)... but she's pissed all the same. She was demanding that she be included in the baseball practicing festivities...I then broke it to my little blondy... all those boys are doing is going to a big empty field.... there is nothing to look at, nor anything to do.. it's best you stay home with your warm stuffed animals and cat collection... I could tell by her smirk that there was a glimmer of hope that I would live another day. On that very thought... she heard the sounds of the Berenstein Bears trailing from down the hallway... and in a flash she was gone. Yes, that's one broken heart alright.
The boy on the otherhand is having a bit of a learning curve... as he usually does... which I am thankful for. He is forgetting who is in charge, and most importantly.. who makes the rules. I asked him the standard question of who is in charge... and when he is on his learning curve.. he mistakenly says "he is". WRONG ANSWER BOY!!!!!! Then after some hissing and growling .... by the two of us... he then sets in on his clean-up the "grounding" issue that he has for the next while. He slightly pissed me off the other day... because of the way he acted... so... that was it.. computer and Ps2 gone. GONE. And.. I did let him keep the TV privileges because... if he didn't get it right with losing the other two.. he would certainly figure it out once he had lost the TV... and he loves his certain shows... Then of course... he comes back at me with the "oh... yes, you really love me when you take everything away from me...." Me... being as evil as he claims me to be.. continues on with the standard..."OH, youngson... if I were to give you those privileges back, you would learn nothing in life.. if anything you will understand how important it is to be able to conduct yourself in a decent manner ... at all times".
And now.. after dealing with all of those acadamy award performances.. I only wish I could sip on a Smirnoff Ice... but I will not... because I am thinking that somehow my head does not like those things...(((weep, weep, weep)))... they give me wicked headaches..... perhaps I am not drinking enough... of them.
Sunday, April 10, 2005
I am truely in trouble. I have to plan a three month calendar before tomorrow morning.. so far I have done well. I have all of the dates recorded on a piece of paper, and a picture that I know that I can download... but haven't quite done that yet.
My people will be waiting with baited breathe... to view how they will be spending the next 11 or 14 or however many Mondays there are until the end of June together. I have to put together a delightful list of activities that we will "engage" in. This includes no crafts... these people do not do crafts.. we aren't a craft worthy bunch... I have tried to trick people into crafts..... just by the mere mention of the "c" word.. people run screaming!
Although... I have managed to get them to decorate a gingerbread house.... and it was so much fun to watch everybody locked in their chairs, arms crossed, legs crossed... and with a scowl smearing their faces for added benefit, and growling about the christmas tunes that I put on the CD..... and yet... like the flower that unfurls in the warmth of the morning sun.... my little group warmed up to the idea... and talked and laughed and reminisced and shared stories and ate candy. The gingerbread house looked like shit... but what was doomed as a mission impossible became mission accomplished.
I have even done art lessons.... and talk about seeing people freak about not being able to draw.... and as I said to them..."you may see paper and pens and think drawing... but this is an exercise in the art of expression". The group carried on to draw their hearts out... and then gutted themselves with laughter. All this in a days work.
But... in the meantime... I have some ideas bouncing around the cobwebs of my brain... and tomorrow will be the day of reckoning... what will I put on that piece of paper that will spell out our days together...... ??? I am frightened to see what I come up with... I will have to wait and see....
As I was making my way into the disastrous but on-its-way-to-be-beautiful laundry room.. I spied with my little eyes... some plans. AH HA!!! I exclaim.... which makes the Mr. Planmakinghusbandman come lead-footed in my direction... and it wasn't for a hug... rather more of a "shove"... as he clammered for his SECRET PLANS. The secret plans have been lifted from viewing eyes... and have found a secret spot to reside in... but one thing... they better not be so secret that the Mr. Planmaker forgets where his secret plans are.
Must go and begin my heavy duty searching.
The boy is practicing his piano right now.. but of course he has that little indignation attitude that comes with his piano hands. Being good is hard. I wonder how Elton managed.... well.. as always, I have had to come up with an answer as flippant as the one I am receiving at this moment... "Continue to be rude, and you will continue to lose privilages"... and sadly enough.. I am true to my word. So far he has lost his playstation 2, and the computer... only because he was a bit rude. A child yes, but a beast no.... only sometimes.. and I can't have that!
Mr. Husbandman .... can not participate in any of the parenting procedures.. he is too busy with his building of a 3D castle....he makes me chuckle... as the boy and I bicker about his piano learning... Mr. Husbandman keeps his head down at a steady level.. and his hands busy. He is smart. I, on the otherhand have gone crazy... dealing with "an-answer-for-everything-son!". But, as I sit and type and tell stories... the boy continues to tell stories with his fingers in a musical fashion... all is well.
As for dinnertime on a Sunday evening... Pip opens up the fridge... "Hey... what's with that plate of meat in the their... doesn't everyone know that I like meat... who's cooking that meat in this house tonight?".... looks like Mr. Puzzlemaker will have to momentarily stop the puzzle process.. and cook up some "meat" for his carnivore daughter.
My string of stories has to stop... I am now on bucket patrol.. for the boy.. the chiropractor man told him to soak his feet... and he has asked me to do that everynight faithfully at 10:00... and guess what my answer has been so far. Oddly enough the answer to that question has just changed....it's 6:30 PM.
Friday, April 08, 2005
In other non-interesting news....
The girl is just psyched to go out on the trampoline and jump with her favourite big bear.... it's pitch black out right now, being 9:17 PM. She has also invited the silly little fraidycat catdog to join her in the darkness... so they can jump in fear together.... oh surprise... she is back..... but all a flitter with excitement at the thought that perhaps she could go out there... I will want her to continue to be afraid of the dark... especially if she keeps growing taller and blonder.... yes, that would make her mother very happy!
The Little Pipster has also just told me tales of loose teeth and recovered lost watches... all too blond to begin to translate for the regular reading public.... part of it goes: the wanting to please at every moment ever studious little friend from across the street, and the Pip were busy trying to pull teeth out of their heads last week... to make money. OK, this just scares me. Now I'm just frightened being in the dark....
And a nice tale... today would have been my Dad's birthday... if he was here, but he isn't.... but pieces of him are here... like the rocks that he tumbled and tumbled and tumbled... for years. The Pipster found them at my parents home.. and brought them home with the excitement of discovering lost treasure... and really it is. For years I would make my way over to my parents.. and you would hear this rolling and thundering come from Russ's RUM shack... which was his rebuilt super drummed rock tumbler churning about. I only ever got to hear of the goings on... but never got to witness some of his finery..... and now I have four super soft rocks lined up on this computer desk... thanks Russ!!
Does that not take you back a day or two? Try just owning ABBA Gold.... that will send you running screaming for the hair colour now wont it?
Ba ba ba ba ba ba.... ba ba ba... take a chance take a chance....
It's such a zippy little song.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
She has a new found love... the trampoline.. right now it's here favourite friend. But then again competing for her love and affection is the net, that surrounds the trampoline... because it certainly beckons to her, all the time. She almost spends as much time clung to the net, than she does in mid-air.
I am hoping she finds her feet soon... otherwise I will have to invest in a little Rumpelstiltskin to visit me on a daily basis... because I am going to need a lot of spinning going on to keep this net intact.
Although for a time.. I did witness her jump while she hummed the tune of the Blue Danube Waltz... so things are looking up for little lady Pipster..!
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
In other current events that are truely not important... but must share....
I have noticed that we have four stolen soccer balls in our yard. Well stolen kind of.. Cicely the now dead german shepherd had amassed a number of "snowballs" that fell from the sky, (soccerballs kicked over the fence, and into her waiting jaws) from the boys on either side of us.. but I didn't know that she got to the grand total of four... good goin' ole girl... your silly catdog sister has enjoyed playing catdog games with them.
I need to come up with a calendar of activities and adventures for my Stroke Club to do for the next 3 months.. although yesterday at the casino... the girl referred to us the "the stork club".... that would have been good if we had all been a bunch of pregnant people, or people with big noses, or people that had obsessions with pink and blue bankets, or carried dolls, or stole babies, although if we were that.. I don't think we would be living it up aimlessly inside casinos. All the same.. I have to do some good planning for my people that meet each week.. I have already come up with an idea about our next trip to "the casino".... we're sticking close to home
I believe someone somewhere is having a little fun with me... so, jokes over, knock it off. I have things to do... and if that sun doesn't make it's way back to me... and in a timely manner... there will be another nutcase in the world... because this renovation thing doesn't happen until the trees are gone.. it's similar to a series of fortunate events as to how a laundry room gets renovated because trees fall down.
Mr. Renovater-husbandman has a masterplan... somewhere in his silent thoughts. Now here's a piece of knowledge.. I gave the man an Allan-Key the other day... an it was like opening up a pandora's box... he never shut up... he just kept tinkering... (as he put together the patio furniture... )..AND, he kept talking... I couldn't get away from him.... I almost got a tape recorder so I could listen to his thoughts on another occasion ... just in case I needed him to speak again, and he didn't.... so.. now I know the way to his brain, give him an Allan-key. Well, actually... an Allan-key isn't enough... he's a man that likes power tools.. the more the better... but the Allan-key was a start... so it better quit freaking raining so that I can get trees cut down, so he can rebuild a laundry room... which leads to a new deck out back, plus one kitchen... Mr. Husbandman should be quite the chatterbox for the next number of months!
~~~oh, and the trees are way over in the backyard to the left of where the laundry room is.. just so it all makes complete sense...!~~~~~HA!
Monday, April 04, 2005
On the otherside of me will be my lovely new lady that can't find her way out of a paper bag also, she will be sitting on the other side of me. The success of this day today will be if I come home with the same amount of people that I am starting with. It's really going to piss me off if I lose someone, or they get broken while we are out.
Now, if I can only pick the winning slot machine for me and my 5 dollars. woo-hoo.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
And in other useless tales.... another friend writes to me.. and asks me whats been going on... so this is what I write back.... because I am pressed for time at this moment.. I will cheat and pass this along.. because I have to make my way outside before the rain clouds open up again..
Life is regular... I like regular. Regular doesn't have to be shocking, and the only shocking things that regular life brings is the stuff that you buy at the mall, and I like the mall.
It's been an interesting number of months with lots of changes... let me see, to save your eardrums from pounding I will do a quick recap. November:Ellpee had a near death experience, and spent many days in the vet ((($$$$cha-ching$$$$)))) and many weeks living in a cage.. so she could recover from a back injury, that was into the first week of December. As always Christmas is busy, just because. My Dad who has been in ill health for two years was starting to make a rapid decline (STRESS!), then I got some very nasty infection.. which left my right arm with numbness, tingling & pain for a couple weeks after. My Dad was continuely failing, and there was lots and nothing to do all at the same time.Third week into January our beloved Ms. Evil Queen Cicely up and died. The following week my Dad passed away (Feb 2). Two weeks after that, I went for a test because of the numbness and tingling, and those damn xray people found "something" very suspicious on the xray... and then I had to wait a whole week before I got test results back from that... I think the moment that we found that hopefully this spot is absolutely ok Mr. Husbandman and his back gave out.(first week of March).. that bulging disk thing that renders him useless and flat on his back, or sideways.. so that was difficult watching him. Now it is April...and the daylight hours have sprung ahead.. and I am very much interested into springing into a new timezone.. and hopefully leaving all that darkness behind.
We have bought a trampoline... you know..to spice up the possibilities for injuries on the homeland.. and Julianne has taken to riding her scooter in the homestead... because the distance is so great between rooms... the boy will be getting braces in May, Ellpee is still alive (whatever this back issue is... it can be her demise)... although Rod's back injury will not be his demise... it will just give him pain... I will be his demise.... if the girl doesn't quit cutting her hair, she will have short blond hair, instead of long blond hair. I am of course the same....bad humour, bad tempered and long winded and stupid hair. There... now I have nothing to talk about at the gillnetter... not that I would talk about that...I have new and exciting things to talk about.. even if I would have to make them up.
On the work front... I am still at the hospital, will be forever.. and I am still going at it with the stroke group.. although I believe that they think I'm an idiot... but they still like me.. and I like them... so it's all good REALLY!
Hope you are enjoying the break in the rain.... I am ... I am watching it shine through my windows!!!... No,... I am going outside now.. I got home from work a while ago...and Mr. Husband has the house all clean and tidy like he always does on the weekends....see, I shouldn't complain about my weekend job.. at least I have a housekeeper around while I am out making chunks of change disguised as a paycheque... and that note ... HA... talk to you soon, D.
OH, and about going out:
Usually most nights are good, although I am addicted to survivor, and our VCR doesn't work. Graham does play baseball, and piano lessons, plus J's got gymnastics and there's always something happening... but we can work out schedules..I mean this is the gillnetter we are talking about!
Friday, April 01, 2005
I have a bit of an issue....I feared the fiction book section, and didn't want to start on the magazine selections, and the non-fiction aisles had a standing room only, plus a line-up; the paperback racks were a bit too ear-pearcing with that squealing metal on metal high intensity sound; and the reference material was thick with people double checking references. The DVD's were a popular bit, and the PC's were processing... and the people that live here on a daily basis were busy taking up residence next to their favourite windows. The children's section was full of noise and worms crawling all about...I had no where left to go... other than here... to my little place in space... and wait for Mr. Physiowillfixthebrokenback husband..... because we are out in public doing adult things that we do once every five weeks.. together.
And on more useless issues.... my cellphone keeps ringing... in the library... and it never rings... only when my sister calls me from my house, so I can go back to visit her! Must go... this library place is geting annoyed with my bleeping phone!
It's Mr. Tiredman-that-sleeps/snores-in-the-den.... until.... I want to go to bed that I really wanted to talk about. So I am trying to work on some programming here with the guy.. I just want him to fall good and asleep... until late into the morning, and then come to our bedroom... because don't we all know.. I should be asleep.... good and asleep... where him and his snoring can't bug me. LIKE IT IS NOW!!!! Which is the reason I have shut the den door, left the TV on, not turned out the kitchen light, and have not left this space... because the second I do.. he will wake up... and go to bed.. and begin the snoring process all over again... so I am trying to train him in the methods of STAY!
Ah.. crap.... see the mere thought of making him stay.. woke him up. I'm forever doomed.