Tuesday, May 31, 2005


Tomorrow should be my lucky day..... I already have a list of answers for all those WHYS out there. Keep up...
  1. My left palm is itchy... itchy itchy itchy.... if I go on memory rather than research.. I am sure that itchy palms bring money.. loads of it.. the line starts to the left.
  2. My right palm is trying to get in on the act of the itchiness. It's trying to be itchy... instead it's just annoying me.
  3. My ring finger is itchy.. so I am temporarily unmarried at the moment... I have removed the wedding ring from my finger.... that has brought a smile to my Mr. Husbandman's face.. and the would be criminals.. if they knew where to find the well hidden ring.
  4. Bags of mushroom manure will find it's way to my little homestead again.. happy homecoming!
  5. I am uncertain if I should clear out my fridge, or clean out my fridge... I will sleep on that one.
  6. The digital camera has sat silent for a while.. there will be subjects needing to be found at some point... and preserved here for long lasting memories... all going well that is.
  7. I am hoping that the Pip will be happy with peanut butter toast tomorrow morning, as she was this morning... because it made her very happy... and there was complete silence other than the crunching that echoed from the den. Happiness twice in a row.. almost unheard of... so I will be trying my luck on that one.
  8. Perhaps the magic hair colouring fairy will wave her colouring gel on my hair early in the am... so that way I will not have to walk around another moment with a quad-coloured-hair-don't. My hair has been like this for a couple of days (liar liar pants on fire!!!!) now... and I can't seem to stop it.
  9. I am hoping that tomorrow I will make the call that I really do not know what happened to the $264.00 cheque from the Stroke Association went... from November 2004.
  10. I know that tomorrow the husbandman will not try and cut the grass.. because I have already cut it today, AND informed him that there is once again grass seed on the front lawn...and he will be dead if he dares to cut it again without a signed consent form.
  11. I am hoping to make a connection with the piano teacher... because I am not sure what is meant by the term "F=2 bars=strwber pie + Blub pie +mince meat tart". I am not sure if this is a new billing method, or I am supposed to do her grocery shopping.
  12. The sister is back to work tomorrow... so I know she wont be stalking me, or wandering of my wearabouts..... or holding me hostage in her burgandy van.
  13. It is Pip's gymnastics day... where once again she will attempt to land a cartwheel, or, better yet even do a cart wheel... we are running out of days to accomplish this great goal.. if only she was in on that fact... I was just kind of hoping that after 10 months of gymnastics she would be able to at least do a cart wheel... although I have seen her success in standing on one leg for 10 seconds... and landing that one. If she's not careful... the new next nickname could be Gidget....
  14. OH... and the poisonous tree kicking event is still holding strong... if only the Pipster had touched the tree with her hands... then our nail biting issues would be solved. But, as of late... she has stopping chewing her toenails because apparantley she kicked a poisonous tree, and that poision stays on your toes for life... as told to her by Mr. Husbandman. I'm going with that thought... although one of her friends in her class, who happens to be even taller than my Pip, told her that she had the same problem, but that this girls mother soaked her feet in vinegar, and that got rid of the problem. For now, I am hiding the salad dressing, pickles and the vinegar container... in case the Pip is willing to cure herself of her poisonous toes.... if only the little blondy knew the real details.
  15. Tonight was the boys last ballgame, but that got rained out. Not that there was actual rain, in fact it would have been a lovely cool evening for a ballgame... it rained all afternoon, until 6:15, then quit... so why have a ballgame then. So, on that very thought the last game will be Thursday.. which is a make-up game from the beginning of the season. So, now the last game will be on Tuesday next week to make up tonight's game that didn't get played because it was rained out, but didn't actually rain... well it rained earlier in the day, which made me the grass growing lady happy.... except for the baseball people, who didn't want rain on their grass at all.
  16. Tomorrow I am certain that I will not come up with 16 new facts for Thursday... I am certain... but then I could begin to make things up.. .. now I know I could do that.

Tails and tales....

The first tail of the day is of the furriest, silliest and alive member of the family. We have other things that are furry and silly, but are not alive but rather considered inanimate, but wished to be alive... Just to clarify... Anyways..

Little Miss Ellpee, still to be crowned with Queenly Royal Status, (as the late Cicely rightly held for her entire visit on this earth) .... because we are awaiting her arrival showing us that clearly she can rule as a Queen... Which I believe she has taken the long road to get to... So my optimism is starting to fade.... But I have moments of hope when she sits back and looks regal gazing over her lands... But anyways... While in the front yard... She clearly has issues. I attached her to her long rope and plunked her in the front yard. The neighbour fellow came over to visit her, and she sits, ears back, her tail stiff as a dog's tail can be... And I wait in horror... Is that look on her face one of terror or terribly happy to see someone. Her furry faced emotions clearly can not be read by her loyal subjects. In the end, she was extatic to see the neighbour fellow, she even nervously rolled over on her side to let him give her a pat. Once again her Queenly status is still on hold due to the fact that she runs and hides behind me once the patting from the neighbour is over... I am thinking that the only Queen in this household is the one in waiting.... A.K.A. Pip. This information shall remain a secret.

IN other tales of the day... The kids and I were driving along the other day... And we were speaking of our now departed German Shepherd Cicely ( a dog with many nick-names, and she answered to all of them... Like Prance) taking up residence in heaven... Except that it is no longer heaven that dogs go to... And they do not walk through pearly gates... Since her arrival to the great place, it has now been renamed to PRANCELAND, and the entry gates are now a lovely shade of tennis ball green.

While I am speaking of last week... And the only time I was not traveling with my lovely digital, was the camera catching event that my almost tall as some his teachers son who stole home twice in the same inning... But only one run counted.. Which was the winning run... Which let the team win it's very first game, at the very end of the season.. Fine drama for a hot evening, that's for sure! The first time around was only a practice run in sliding, as a forced play drove the young son home on a fly ball that went as high in the air as it could, only to land 2 feet in front of the plate, then the other team panicking and throwing the ball... The young ump first called safe, then swiftly changed his mind and called it a fowl ball. It was more of a fowl call than a fowl ball.. But they are young umps, learning the business of safes, outs, and fowls... The second attempt for a run home was accurately called as safe, as the boy slid beneath the tag at home plate... As the ball then bounded from the catchers mit... Everybody's heart skipped a beat at that moment. Our excited team met the others in their dug-out... How kind of them to save the "losers" a trip. The coach called the eager beavers back to the plate.. A nice moment really... When sometimes winning can be everything.

In other tales of lifeliness... The sister tried her best to somehow go out on our designated "useless task night".. As I like to refer to it. It just didn't happen... "So where is Mr. Husbandman anyways?"... She inquires. "I have no idea... Anywhere... " I answer. She waits... We have a look around my backyard, and my front yard, and I have no side yard so we make our way over to the neighbour lady who is now paranoid because I haven't been answering my phone.. But I didn't know that she had been calling to even answer my phone... And we continue to wait for the husbandman to arrive. I tried to will the man home, but that again prooved useless... it was time.. I had to make the call.. "So where exactly are you?"... I asked him... He gives me the grim details... Ok.. See you when you arrive... I shake my head NO to my sister... "Tonight is simply not the night for useless tasks as we would like... You will have to go it alone.. If you can.. " I say to her.... She eventually left, and I wished her luck... I didn't know where the van would take her.. If she would be able to go at all... She didn't even have her cell.. We could of had a play by play if necessary... But then.... This morning, a new day before us, many adventures ahead of me... My day off from life... And who shows up on my door step.... The sister... She was back... With new adventures to be planted into my day.... The first stop was Triple Tree Nursery.. And then there was no looking back from there.....I was hooked, and really, held captive until she dropped me in my driveway, in the rain... Where I then proceeded to cut the front lawn.

Monday, May 30, 2005

It's CC & Q

I'm all about perfection in the kitchen.... I am up there on the lists that make the big lists... as in lists of who not to visit for dinner ... that's the big list!

So.. tonights menu will be.. cooked carrots, home made quiche and banana milkshakes... because the bananas have dots now, and are clearly useless for any form of lunch kit activities.

I say brilliant.

Now.. onto other brilliant details from today. Earlier... while at my group... we were sitting in this rather large "Lounge" as it is called. Normally we play Bocce Ball for about 45 minutes and then the group members leave for home. Today, things had to change, as we only had 3 people left to play Bocce... so we were having a lovely conversation in this large lounge. Along came one lady, and then another younger lady who breezed right past us... as if the 4 of us were ghosts... sometimes the next group comes in early, and finds theirs chairs, and put their choir books down.. that sort of stuff. These two ladies failed on all accounts and started banging out a classical piece of music on the piano. All was good.. except that we were having a conversation in this large lounge... and now they were infringing on our conversation by pianoing a duet together. It was nice to listen to the first two times... but when it continued on for another 10 times.. it got a bit hard to take on the ears.. and we all left.... no conversing, because now we all had our hands over our ears. Thanks very much choir director lady and her trusty assistant.. I am glad to know that I am a ghost yet again.

I have to say... it's good manners that got me into this, so it's my fault that the small group that we had got pushed out...I'm stupidly nice! I will practice being evilly nice tomorrow... I should have taken lessons from our evil Prance... but since she's gone one dimensional... I'm at a loss.

Must go think... and I thought the dinner time thought process was hard... man!

It's 5 oclock...

and what are you having for dinner?

.... I am still in the reality phase that I have to actually perform such a feat... so I am unsure as to what the final outcome will be. I can tell you that my friends down the street are having wonderful leftovers, from the wonderful dinner that we had with them last night. I think I will hightale it to the wonderful place where she found the wonderful meat.. I know it would put a smile on the girls face if I came home with a pack of that! Except not right now... right now I have to create miracles with what I can find in this little house.. hopefully the finding will be narrowed down to the kitchen only...

I could try and create something that everyone would like... but that too, would be far too difficult. Speaking of difficult... I believe that the KRAFT cupboard is calling me! HA!

Oh brother... foot steps.. the pounding kind.. I better think double speed now....."She's back!"

An eyebrow raised.

I am sitting here in complete silence, taking into account that we have to hear the hum of the computer and the refridgerator.... I will forgive those autonomic noises, as I am used to their white noise. But, what I am not used to is the silence that comes with a dull grey sky.

The sky has been brilliant blue the last number of days, and with that blue sky there is the chatter of birds continuously. When I open up the sliding glass door, if the idiot dogs are not barking.. (not my idiot dogs! I don't have idiot dogs... I have the ninny catdog type but don't provoke her, her jaws can do damage (not to humans, but to other furry four-legged beasts that she is afraid of)... as well, I need to lose the plural, as I only have one dog now, but in my mind I still travel with two... only because the first evil queen sits perched on my desktop staring back me for as long as the computer screen doesn't go to the screen saver... sorry Prance.. you and your evil ways have gone one dimensional.... ) anyways... the birds and the silence....

Anyways... I am wondering what's up. When it stops raining around these parts... I can always tell, because the birds start to chime up...but it's cloudy when this happens.... So now, I am wondering what's up with the silence of the birds... as it is cloudy now... wait a minute, I just noticed something.. I need to open the door to hear the birds. I get it now. Cool weather means closed doors which means silence from the outside. Hot weather means open doors which means sounds drift indoors. I am so getting it now.

Although I am not wrong in feeling that the world is quieter when the brilliant blue sky has been defeated by the slick grey clouds. Perhaps there is a momentary silence as the animal world braces for the mysteries that Mother Nature has in store... who knows.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Area 51

Without realizing it earlier tonight we entered a restricted zone. A place where conversations took place, but can never be repeated. The details of tonight's evening will be not documented here, but rather, will forever be in a rewind mode for as long as my memory can hold out. I have about 4 minutes of play time in my head before the disk fills up... So I don't have much to work with here.

Details will be kept to a minimum due to the sensitive material that I will not speak of... Although there were many hilights to the evening, they will be delivered in random order to confuse those that may not already be confused.

Men are men are men. That can not be changed.. as much as the woman folk wish for them to change, they wont. Their plans are not the best plans, but they will believe that their plans are the best plans... Even if the woman folk will not hear of whatever plans they have been planning.

The Mr. Husbandman has learned some new talk while out... he won't be going back any time soon... Too much influence in that Area 51.

It seems that many people on our street will have no place to live some place soon due to all the renovation that people are undertaking at the present time... I believe if we pool the resources, it will be a communal living headquarters taking place here... where we swap food people.. Just food.... Sick-os!

I will just say that the meal was wonderful... and the Lady Pip enjoyed herself very much... Especially the shrimp and pork souvlaki.... One day I will scan her little book that she wrote all about meat... It's just a little book, but it gives some insight into what really makes that girl happy.

One of the guests were placed between the two younger guests.. to keep peace while in the area 51 location, also considered the table. Speaking of peace at the table the two younger guests that belong to me.. Must be very comfortable with these people.. because I had to remind the younger guests that belong to me.. to please be quiet... If only for a moment... P-O-L-E-A-S-E!!!!!

That's going to have to be it.. I can not speak of more.. for fear of myself, and the people that belong with me.... Area 51 was a very safe place to visit, but highly influential.... I walked away learning many things this evening... Hopefully the Mr. Husbandman will not have observed the interactions of those that inhabit the Area 51..... Although when we arrived home he said he had learned a few things.... Damn... Damn that invite to Area 51... we were much safer last week entranced by the television... If only we could have found the remote....

I've been had!!!!

Second time around

We are going to try this again... we are going over to another friends place for dinner tonight. Very nice. I asked if a big screen TV was included in the deal... because if it wasn't, then I wasn't coming. It's that simple... you invite people over, and then turn on the TV, that way you don't have to do any kind of conversation, and can sit brain dead in front of the sports channel. Of course this doesn't include looking on the computer at things.. because that can be exciting! I am wondering if the weather is going to hold out... that could be a repeat from last week... although a little rain after our wicked summer heated blast wouldn't be a bad thing right about now.. (oh me the selfish water sucking fiend that I am wanting so I can continue to grow blades of deep dark green!!)

Now.. in an after thought about the previous post which I don't feel like editing... I am here to state I am so thankful for Mr. Husbandman arriving home... eventually.... EVENTUALLY... I repeat.. only because I ran into some trouble with the pressure washer. It appeared to have a temper tantrum.... as only inanomate things can. SO... I had to wait until the man that knows the most about machines came home... and with one magical pull of the cord.. it rumbled back to life. Thankfully. I knew I hadn't done anything wrong, or bad or neglectfu, I didn't even kick itl... but it was beginning to make me feel that extreme dread that I had. For that, I am done using the lovely machine. I fear it may retaliate... and then I will really have to kick it!

Well, I best go do things that I collect money for, rather than laughs.... that will buy me nothing.

Where exactly...

did that trail take me anyways? Yes, I have been wondering that myself. I can swear that I just left this space only moments ago... and here it is Sunday morning... and I am just emerging.

I am back on the weekend trail of working adventures.. which there are many to be had.. but nothing exciting to speak of. Unless of coarse I begin to make things up.... which wouldn't be too far fetched anyways.

My hands are still reeling from Fridays feast of pressure washing. I think I was out on my ugly but now clean back deck for about 4 1/2 hours of a continuous "erring... but with a growl".... hopefully the people that live around me will forget the sound fast. It wont matter to me... I can't hear anymore. My hands wont forget.... interestingly I am very left handed... but not so after the washing event.. so I have decided. It was my right hand that had to hold the magic wand for about 4 of the 4 1/2 hours... if the left hand was called in for assistance... it was only for a momentary break. It seemed that the wand just gravitated back to the right hand... with a will of it's own. So now today... it's still stiff. But I would venture to say a happy stiff.... (see there is evidence that you can be a happy stiff!).. because I now have a clean but still ugly back deck... including the big two steps to get outside which are pressure treated wood... they're pressure treated alright... I obsessively scoured them back and forth until I realized that I still had a whole deck to clean....

I will thank my lovely neighbour across the street for using his god-given brain, as well as continue to be wonderfully handsome.... clearly some days those two things do not come as a combination. He smiled and waved while he cut his front grass, and, as he saw me cleaning out the side of my house with my hard working right hand... his daughter and The Pip were happily and busily playing in my backyard.. which was all good. But then along came the child that continues to phone 8 times in a row to see if the girl from across the street can play... yikes for that!... Now, normally the wonderful and handsome man from across the street points in the direction that his daughter can be found... so of course he was know longer wonderful and handsome when I saw her heading in his direction... "oh god, oh god.. don't you dare... I started thinking in my head......"... and miraculously there is a God.. the little girl turned, looked at me... and walked back home again... I had been saved. Well, actually the world had been saved with that one event... because I am sure that you have heard those two girls scrapping from all thirteen and three quarters of the world's corners. I am sure!

That is all for this moment.. I am at work, doing work things. Well... kind of, not exactly.. until I sign off from here, which will be now.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Stat like

Ok.. this has to be at mock speed.... it's a beautiful evening.. the boys are glued to lost, the girl is just plain sticky.. and needs to be dunked in the tub... and I have got my walking runners on. All going well I can be out of here in under 5 minutes ..... all going well... I SAY!!!!

We have already been to see the bears, where we caught glimpse of a rather small one waltzing about in the tall grass. I guess it should be by itself... who knows. On that thought.. I will follow the bears lead and take myself out for a walk... but if I happen to see the neighbours.. I am not sure how far I will get!

Back later.... for the tales of the trails.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

This is it people the Week-end Cat Big Cup. This was a 3 day event attended by the newest of cat competitors living in the house this weekend, there were also some canines included in the competition, but they clearly were not the best contenders this week-end as they came in third place every time.. poor canine contenders perhaps they will have better luck next year if they are invited back to the Cat Big cup event. There was a special appearance on the round hat box made by Clifford and his dog friends, including Emily-Elizabeth who took time out from her own show to be a part of the events. The trophies were handed out by the young lady on the left who was dressed in a beautiful blue gown for the weekend events. The grand cup and 1000 thousand dollars went to the white cats on the left.. hopefully next year there will be bigger sponsers for this great event.. and perhaps they will be located in the newly renovated kitchen....but they can only hope. Posted by Hello

In other thoughts of what I should do today:

  1. With that one cup of coffee I have entered back into reality.
  2. Get the girl to eat a banana.... my friend sent me a list of reasons why it's good to eat bananas... I think it was from the Banana Growers Union... and late one Friday night they found out that the consumption of bananas had gone down by a couple trillion... so they thought up some amazing facts to boost the banana world-wide consumption... and, since it all makes sense to me what the B.G. Union came up with... I am trying to get the girl to peel and eat.. so far she has declined rather loudly.. but has demanded a cup up tea with honey and sugar added to it.
  3. I have obliged her tea request... while she happily sips and watches "The Princess Diaries".
  4. I should go and rent a pressure washer.. somehow I know that the hose is not going to do the job that I want to see done...
  5. The girls room is still in great need of some attention... and not from her.. she has dangerous intentions.
  6. Buy more grass seed, this item should be stocked next to milk in the grocery store... that is how much of a regular purchase it is for me.
  7. I probably should water all the flowers that I planted yesterday... with the weather I had my own personal watering can... but now it seems to have dried up. Figures.
  8. I need to find a place to put my purple scrapbooking box... I have no room left on my shelves in the laundry room... and that has me once again thinking about the non-shed in the back yard.
  9. If I could put the thatcher thingy on the lawn mower I would power thatch the back lawn.. and then I could dump a bunch of sand in the big long crevice that arrived when the willow tree fell.
  10. I am going to have to respray where the morning glory is growing.. because it brings me no morning glory to see it growing. NONE.
  11. ANNNDDD... I wonder what the chances are of cleaning/tidying this house on this day. I wont hold out any personal bets on that one...

Todays list of event:

  1. ~
  2. ~
  3. ~
  4. ~
  5. ~
  6. ~
  7. ~
  8. ~
  9. ~
  10. ~
  11. Oh, and drink coffee

Yes, and that sums up the list for today.

Monday, May 23, 2005

The boys.

Earlier today... things were going on in my backyard.... like three boys... living in my backyard. They were an improv comedy act... with no audience ... except myself.. the flower planting lady. At one point .. one of the boys starts choking badly on a cookie... and within a heartbeat... the one boy says to other... "if you are done with that cookie, can I have it"... as the child is blue in the face, BUT CHOKING, HEAVILY. Luckily he lived.

Then, once again while my back is turned... they tie my boy up.. with all of the girls skipping ropes. "Unless you two are willing to surrender your bank accounts for dental work that will be required after my boy loses his front teeth.. you best untie him"... I say.

Later I find them with all of their hands tied up... bouncing on the trampoline. Luckily we have padded posts.

The sun came out for a short time today.. just to let us know that it is still around these parts. The water guns came out in full force... 3 boys, 3 waterguns, 2 weaponless girls on a trampoline. That was pleasant to listen to... believe me on that one.

Careful where you walk... the skipping ropes got turned into lazers.. and those that walked freely throughout the backyard.. took their life in their own hands.. as the ropes where whipped through the air with loving zings.

There are no germs at all when you can continuously pass a harmonica around from boy to boy to boy.. just so they can make themselves some great sounding music... or so they think.

I lost sight of them for quite a while when they walked down the street and jumped across the ditch.. into fort territory. I don't even want to know what goes on there. It's best that I don't. Although they claimed that some pimply teenagers came along and wanted to know their names.. the neighbour boy gave the answer of the answer of "Mysterious Bob", and my boy gave the answer of "I'm his trusty assistent Little Jimmy"... (my boy is half a head taller than his friend Mysterious Bob) .... they left their fort for home...

Only a glimpse into the ongoings of the boy.... I am not sure I want to know the rest.

The Pip project.

This girl of mine... she is into anything crafty. She loves the whole idea of scrapbooking very very much. I am frightened of her though... especially when my back is turned, and she's working on a page, and the pen runs out.. and then it sails across the kitchen. Then of course she's cutting out photos.. and something doesn't go right.... I am scared. I think my next 50% off coupon will be spent on a suit of armour... that way I am hopefully invincable to her momentary madness rages. It is interesting... after her outburst, she usually settles down... but who knows in what direction her rage will fly. Silly little Pipenza..... too bad for the gold sparkle pen that gave out on her half way through her "best printing ever in her life"... that she was working on. Knowing me... I would probably have chucked the pen too.... except not at another human.

The promise...

It was a simple promise. One that seemingly would materialize. I never lost faith in the promise. I held it close to my heart, with some anticipation, and yet a feeling of confidence. This promise would come true. Of all promises to make.. surely this would be the promise to end all promises. I was confident that the promise made, was a promise kept.

The sun shined brightly this afternoon... the first time it has done this in weeks.

Can one Mr. Husbandman build a shed in only 5 hours worth of sunlight that is left this May long weekend... as was the promise that he made... can he... CAN HE.... CAN HE I SAY!!!!!!!! Mr. Husbandman made the promise that he could whip a shed together by this weekend... and what have we got ... we have a tidied and almost rebuilt glass truck ... that is what we have!!!!

I still like him though... because he likes a tidy kitchen... and he's a do-it-yourselfer on that tidy kitchen thing. ... he also does laundry.

Who gives a crap about one lousy promise!...although that shed would look pretty this nice last night of a long weekend... I have to say!

Dog cage.

I now like the fact that we keep a dog in a dog cage. That excuse can be quickly executed in times of diress, especially when you are stuck in someone's home, and needing to make a quick exit. I decided that this would be a very good excuse to leave last night. It worked.

I quite like the people that we visited... but somehow the person that we were visiting seemed to think that having the television on the whole time we were there was socially acceptable. I guess it is, if you are 9. The sports channel played the whole time, never once did it get turned off. I thought when we first got their that it was on just to pass the time, and once we were mingling in the kitchen area, it would be turned off. WRONGO-BONGO. I was very mistaken.

As the evening gathered momentum... I began thinking of excuses for an escape. I am not tolerant of this kind of stuff... but I wasn't going to say... "Turn this crap off".... which, in hind-site probably would have worked. But, on the 3 1/2 minute drive to get to their house we had concluded that it would be Fussy who would be the deciding factor in never being asked back again.... I solidified that decision, by taking mental notes... I won't do that again. EVER.

The next time... IF WE GET TOGETHER.... they can come here... where the TV is saved only for children.

I am happy that our little dog has to sometimes live in a cage... it is ever so handy in making quick exits... and that was put to the test last evening... and just in time for Mr. Husbandman to catch the season finale of Desperate Housewives.

What do you say to this:

I have had enough of her.
She won't go away, her parents just keep letting her come over.
It's like a bad dream, but in real life.
I feel like I am locked in a torcher chamber.
Is it too soon to ask her to leave.

This is my girl's reaction to her friend that she had had enough of. When my girl is done, she's done. Can you try to be nice I whisper to her. "I'm done being nice, this girl has got to go" she declared. My girl then proceeded to hide in our 1365 square foot home, to see if the friend would forget about her and leave. This didn't work. Eventually it became dinner time.. and the girl got called to go home.

The Pip smiled.

Happy Birthday.

It is Queen Victoria's Birthday today... well not really today, I think it's in June.. but it is celebrated today... and that's good. I was very much looking forward to taking these past three days off from work. It has been very nice. VERY NICE. Although the same can not be said for the weather...but I am still on the verge of complete happiness... just because I have had a break in the routine of life... I have not had to get up and go to work these past three days... I hope this smile continues until the middle of July... which will be the next time I get a weekend off.

In other moments of happiness:

  1. I have two 50 % of coupons for Micheals, which the girl and I will be using today.
  2. The kitchen is already clean.... and it wasn't by my hands.
  3. I had enough cream for coffee... 2 cups of coffee that is!
  4. Marigolds come back to life when you emerse them in a bucket of rain water.
  5. I dust less now that the heat has been turned off.
  6. My girl prooves to have a reasonable head sometimes.
  7. The boy has moved his musical talents to his harmonica, although he still has the piano requirements before him... of course he doesn't realize that!
  8. I will not be on-time for anything today, or in a hurry to get someplace.
  9. Tomorrow, this whole day can be repeated.
  10. My digital camera batteries are charged.

Doing and Undoing.

The process of undoing is similar to the phrase of "Mr. Unhelpful strikes again"...

The other day I flew outside between rain storms and cut the (ugly) front lawn. Although, when looking at it from a great distance it all looks good. While in the cutting process I didn't use the grass catcher, but rather let the grass fall back on itself, to create the "mulch effect". What I was aiming for was a blanket that comes from nature... so that way when I put down another 10 pounds of grass seed... it would be kept warm and moist from the grass clippings... and waa-laa... the grass would grow. It was a great idea.. I don't know how much time it took for all that precision raking, so that certain spots had the right amount of warmth overtop of the new seeds. Surely this would do it. Surely.

Surely I had to be crazy to not think that Mr. Husbandman would come out and mow the lawn while I wasn't looking. Which is exactly what he did... and the reason why..... because I hadn't cut two small lines over in the left side of the yard... and clearly that had to be cut, along with the rest of the grass.... with the grass catcher... that sucked up all the just getting started grass seed with it.

This scene had absolute horror show qualities... we creep around the corner as we enter into our crescent with the 15 year old smudgy white coloured SUV... and then I start slowly and shaking my head.......NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Both the chicklets are immediately thinking ... "that's it.. this lady is finally bonkers..."..." I just don't believe this...." I start to rattle on.... The boy quickly picks up on my immediate frustration/madness.... "Oh, Oh... Daddy is going to get it.. isn't he..?... I can just tell that he is in trouble.." the boy says as he madly tries to scramble out of the vehicle to spill the beans that his father is close to getting sliced.

"So... did you notice any of the grass seed all over the lawn"... I ask him... "Well... I did notice that you didn't cut that little part over there... which means that you got distracted by doing something else... so I thought I'd finish for you"....he says.....

Well.... this just gives me another reason to enter a garden store... with my handy dandy mastercard.... so it's all good, except for the front lawn... it's still ugly.

Sunday, May 22, 2005


I would say that I am a fairly visual person... if I can't map out instructions and information for processing in my brain... then I map it out on paper so I can sift through the facts. I haven't made the time to write down some of the facts of life over the last couple of days.. so .. instead you get my visualizations through the camera lense... which is alot easier than writing I have to say.

In case you haven't seen enough... here's another. Posted by Hello

Any moment now a bear will pop out from those bushes... really. Posted by Hello

Adventures into the unknown... Posted by Hello

The secret life of Fuss.. this is what she does in our backyard... twirls... luckily I was able to take this picture of her standing. Posted by Hello

This is posted in the parents backyard... there's a lot of concentration with begonias and tomatoes going on here. Although I didn't paint any pictures of tomatoes at the time.. I believe that the tomatoes still qualify. Posted by Hello

I think here they were practicing a new dance routine.. well that's what it looked like from the sidelines. It's very serious ball here, all the time. Posted by Hello

They take their warm-up very serious.. stretching those muscles for optimum performance in the game. The fellow to the far left keeps spits on that back pocket... I can see here that he practicing up for a game full of spit eating.  Posted by Hello

These boys are serious about baseball.... very serious... Posted by Hello

Who are these people, and why do they do that.... don't they know that we are all afraid of them? Posted by Hello

I am not sure the reason why I am attracted to this sort... it could be the similarity in the big bad uncontrollable hair.. I am not sure what else it could be..... Posted by Hello

Happy Parade People. Posted by Hello

Thursday, May 19, 2005

The 11:00 News:

  1. There's too many police cars still driving around our street. Our Vancouver Police Department member neighbour is placing too many calls to 911 himself.
  2. The Canadian Tire parking lot is a good place to hand out food to people that are asking for change. It's a good thing that the chicken that I gave to the guy was actually cooked. The buns and bananas were easy to throw together mind you. It is also interesting to note that some people care... like the employee that was working at Canadian Tire while I was adding some pink fluid stuff to my vehicle.... "Hey!!!.... where are you putting all that pink fluid???".... scary things like that....
  3. Credit Unions are just not handy if they have to take your number and call you back... just after you have asked the respresentative all kinds of questions.
  4. It's sometimes good to listen to your children, when they repeat to you at least twenty times that they shouldn't go to school, and in fact, it is not said to irritate the parent, but rather to serve as a warning... So, Little Pipsters with really big tonsils and gurgly voices should not be placed in situations such as classrooms. Kind of maybe. This becomes even more apparant when the friend that she loves, and comes to our house every morning... which the Pipster always goes screaming down the hallway to say hello...... just lies in our bed, and doesn't bother saying hello.
  5. There are days in your life that you can actually find out what type of flooring that your children have. It takes some time and effort, and god willing a vacuum..... but rest assured perservance pays off. Today we found The Pip's floor.... it's hardwood. Interesting.... I thought we had a multi-coloured shag in there. (ok... that's just eeeewwww!)
  6. It's generally the first twenty minutes of being left alone that dogs do the most damage.. like getting into backpacks and ripping out all of it's contents.. including a grade 2 planner, and a skipping rope.
  7. One thirty in the afternoon is the best time to go to the walk in clinic... and with absolutely nobody in the waiting room, or anybody else in the building, with the actual doctor sitting at the front counter... there is the circumstance that they will still require you to wait... just because.
  8. It's best not to panic when you realize that you do not have any page protectors left in your scrapbooking supplies... and it is especially important to hide them from the dog that seems to like that sort of stuff... and turns the pages with her claws.
  9. The new old dryer is sounding like it has new old problems, which is not comforting to me since it is new and old.
  10. Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day for counting how many antibiotic capsules I've taken, rather than today. Todays count may be over.. by 2, and the grand total should only be 3. I believe I have misplaced my calculator.

Aaaaahhhhh... and lastly the weather.

It has proven to be a remarkable day here on the west coast. The clouds couldn't get any more billowy and grey. There is an enormous amount of rain that is showing it's stuff all across the front lawns of everywhere. And what is a day on the west coast without the sun peeking through for only moments at a time..... another thumbs up. Hopefully tomorrow this rain trend will remain.... because another day with rain, is yet another day that I do not have to fight with my hose reel on my front lawn which is similar to a misbehaving badger at my heels.

And that's the kind of day it's been for Thursday May 19th, good night.

Weather watch

Yesterdays weather: sun clouds rain
Happiness level: high
Todays weather: clouds and even more rain
Happiness level: glee filled and grinning.

I'm all into this natural sprinkling that is taking place.... well, not on me, on the lovely grass seeds.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

The green green...

grass of home. I cut the front lawn today. It looks very green, lush and cheerful... almost like a lawn that has no weeds. It is a very deceiving front lawn, and I am very proud of it. I will post no pictures....and please don't come and stand in the middle of it.... just so that I can keep telling the people of the world that.. and you will just have to believe what you read... and who cares what the other saying is all about! (believing and reading)...

I also threw about another 50 handfuls of grass seed across the front lawn, on top of the 75 that I threw last week... perhaps this week it feels like germating... because last week it didn't feel the need to.. well, only some of it did. I also bought a chemical agent to kill the lovely beginnings of MORNING GLORY that has invaded parts of my yard.

And, you may as well get it over with...you can call me "the lady ant killer"... because that is what I have turned into. I have baited little dollips of ant-serum all over the place, because it seems that I have ants all over the place... and more importantly... they have taken to eating some of my flowers. And with that.. they must die. I paused for a moment today to value and appreciate the life cycle of ants, and their importance to our world, and the environment... and then I squeezed the last drop of ant-serum beneath the Japanese Maple.... hopefully it will get them all... perhaps the neighbours will have some extra ants this year.. because I have decided to be bold and take a "Just Say No to Ants" kind of approach this year. Sorry guys.. this year will not be your year to overthrow this kingdom. At this point next year isn't looking good either.

ABP on a Mastercard

My Mastercard has left me.
Out of my life.
It has turned to the darkside.... it's now spending time in Mr. Husbandman's back pocket. He's taken it for a little R n R... just to show it what he does all day... so that "the mastercard" can be put to use, while he is hard at it. Mr. Husbandman is determined to give it a couple of lessons in restraint. But... knowing what I know of my Mastercard... it will taunt him the whole day and his pocket will call to him for all the hours that it sits in his pocket... "Oh, you-who... you know who you are... please take me out of here.. and I will show you what I am capable of". I just know that my mastercard will break him...

Oh, and here is Mr. Husbandman home now... sporting a new drill, in a big black box...... and here's my mastercard... warm to the touch.. in fact... feeling a little hot......

How I'm feeling after a day without my mastercard.... grinning and gleeful..... I knew that Mr. Husbandman was taking the card out for a testride today... to purchase his manly power tools.... I just knew it.. but it was little surprise for the unsuspecting mastercard.

I must go and calculate my airmiles now.

Monday, May 16, 2005

What happened earlier...

Nothing happened earlier.... but it's something that made me laugh. The girl was playing with her friend (that was wearing a beautiful army patterned sun dress... very quaint!!)from next door. The girl next door has had a runny nose forever, and ever. I believe since the day she came home from the hospital the day after she was born... with her smoking in the home father. Anyways... that's not what the story is about.. because that isn't laughable, that is truely disgusting.... and yet I grew up in a home where my parents smoked.. and then one parent smoked, because the one parent caught on that it clearly wasn't good for you, and the other parent finally caught on that it wasn't good for you, but didn't quit, although that parent quit smoking in the house... but you know...that was years ago... this still isn't about that story either.... but wait this is.......

Oh wait... in useless facts that happen.. I just sent the boy into the laundry room to collect his blankets for bed... and the dryer went off... and if you have been doing your home reading.... this old-new dryer buzzes for three minutes and sends currents throughout the massive 1365 square foot house.... so, as he enters the laundry room in the dark... (which he is scared of), the old-new dryer announces it's completion... which sends the boy flying in fright. Poor boy of mine, frightened of the dark, and old-new dryer noises....

Back to the story at hand.... so I am talking to my mother on the telephone... and these girls are flitting about... back and forth to her room, through the kitchen, back out through the den.... and I was trying to do the dishes from the earlier morning adventures for the pot-luck lunch provided by Deanna. Finally I had had enough of the flitting and the skirtting...... so I had a hiss attack.... " Get ... Get... Get.... stay outside, stop flitting about me.... just get and go jump on the trampoline like you wanted to...."... oddly enough the little Pip and friend finally scattered. A couple of minutes later the two of them were at the other side door... trying to make their way back in... so I paused on the dish detail, and excused my mothers ear to my pocket... and hissed once again... just stay outside.... what is it that you guys need?

The little girl with the bad nose and the interesting sundress says:... " I need to go home and get some underwear on before I can jump on the trampoline...."

Alright then... off you go....as I whisk them through the kitchen.... and out through the front door.... go find those undies missy.

People scare me.

Sneaking in some words....

While the boy isn't looking... I have to try this kind of stuff. He can be such a demanding little fellow when he wants his computer time and all. But, being the kind mother that I am have once again reminded him .... come here boy, now read this: HE NEEDS TO PRACTICE HIS PIANO BEFORE HE CAN USE THE COMPUTER... he is such a good young son. .... as he pounces away to the den and his oreo cookies.

And.. in other moment of the day news that I need to report, that no one needs to read.... I, can solemnly say.... I am able to predict the happenings of the day at my stroke group... before it actually happens. We had lots of food, and lots of people, and the extra people that do not normally arrive early, came early. It was all good.

It is now a day for celebration. I do not need to work this weekend, or have my Group on Monday... or take the children to school on Tuesday. It's all cause for many celebrations really. If only I could be guaranteed that I will come out headache less... I would drink wine! Lots of it... well, not right at this moment as I have to go and fetch the lady Pipster from her friends house. Do wine and antibiotics go together.... or is that just pain killing drugs that I should be concerned with? I believe I will celebrate anyways..... which makes me think of a story......

The other day I needed to use the phone book a whole bunch of times... all for different reasons/numbers that I needed looking up.... (I am thinking it was international phonebook use day...) One such number included the non-emergency number to the Queen's Cowboys Hotel (aka Royal Canadian Mounted Police - station) ... to let them know of the neighbourhood criminal doing criminally things...or looking that way... anyways... we have our phone books tucked away in a little cupboard... where we also store ALCOHOL! and my 5 bottle wine collection. So, there's nothing more disturbing than hauling out wine bottles, and picking the what you think is the correct phone book (because around here you only have 5 to pick from)...and putting the bottles back, and then knocking one over, and then shuffling the phone books because the one you picked, is of course the wrong one. This happened many times to me the other day.... clearly I need to start drinking way way WAY more wine. CLEARLY. I will start now.

Oh,... and in other random thoughts that should be shared at this hour.... I was waiting at the stop light today, in my 15 year old white/nondescript colour SUV. I watched this woman... who was doing nothing really, or than expending energy. And that is what I thought about. It must take a lot of energy to keep yourself this stiff and serious looking. It made me think of over filled water balloons... you don't know when they are going to burst, or what direction. Her clothes were tight, (not a bad tight.... probably just to keep the energy stores close to her) and the slit in her jean skirt gave her enough room to march her legs across the street Energy woman created such a thwacking noise from her flip flops, I could hear them with my back window down. She had her arms wrapped almost twice around her, and her purse pressed to her side. I watched her walk across the crosswalk... and just wondered to myself... is she always like this, or is it the low riding eyebrow entangled cowboy hat that is throwing her off today. I think I would like to be like energy woman for an hour or ten.... I think what I really want is to thwack in flip-flops.

Must go... and be a real person now.

What am I doing here?

I ask myself this... not in a mortal perspective, or in search of deep meaning... but rather, why am I at this computer when I should slam some cookies together. But, I am here.

I had a call from my favourite fellow from my group... he will bring stuff... I so like him! I will bring stuff, and I will bring stuff in case my people show up, that I didn't call... I think I will call them now!

Oh, my little furry fraidycatdog was wanting in on the act of "things that taste good" to her... so she helped herself to the roast turkey sandwhich that belonged to one of the kids. I really had to double think the whole removal from her front paws ordeal... as in.... is it too late to save it for the lunch... or did she do real damage to the bag. Yes... that's a sad thought, but I had to throw it away... the bag was a bit wet from her biting at it to get at the real goods. I think now I will go and fish it out of the garbage, and give her the turkey.. I know that was drove her to steal from the lunchbag. Silly fraidycatdog... she just sat and wagged her tail when I came and took it away... but of course I had to call out "shame"... which made her tail wag even more.

Oh, I think I am going to create something with Pitabread and creamcheese for this non-event today.... I also have to come up with some colour and paper for the after the lunch fest... because people will want to do something... perhaps a handout of toothpicks... and we can play toothpick your partner.. in case people fall asleep!

I'm off for more useless tasks. ... in which I have already checked my awful front lawn... and the grass is happy today... I see blades penetrating the creepy crawly viny things that I will not use lawn repairer weed and feed things on... I just wont. I want to badly mind you...

OH, and finally... in othe useless tasks that are fun to snigger at.... the girl and I have been cruising the roadsides for garbage from others to retrieve. REALLY. Our neighbouring city is having a big clean up special this week ... and we have been hunting for some stuff. We managed to find a broken scooter last week... which is exactly what we needed.... we needed a wheel for her scooter... which is something that you can't buy around here.... and we have every possible store in the world to buy something from... so we had to wait and shop at the roadside store to find what we were looking for! It is such a waste to get rid of her scooter when it's just one wheel that isn't up to working right...so now we will have an extra scooter... for someone. (Just to note... I have found some of the best pots and barrels at these grand non-events....so it really is worth the look.. although I don't get out and actually touch the trash... we just look with our eyes, from within the confines of the vehicle....!) Must go bake and create... stat like!

Uncertain Somedays.

Well, I am walking into the great uncertaintanty today. I have called all the members from my group, told them about todays great adventures in potlucking a lunch... I have heard back from two people. This should be interesting. ....."Hello... I know you people are out there.... and I know you like lunches......hello... call me back...!"

I am also uncertain if two other people are coming.... and I didn't call them for the lunch... I am now very certain that they will be there today.

My Pip is still sleeping... that for certain is a blessed event. She absolutely was not going to go to bed until she found out who won on "Survivor". Oh, and other uncertaintanties..... the jury people pained that Katie girl rather monsterous.... I think the cameras missed a lot of that action... I didn't develop a great dislike to her... she was out there to play her game her way. I didn't quite find her that evil to others... so I must have missed something.... for the last however many weeks survivor plays for.

Ah... I am certain that my Thursday night television addiction will be coming to a close rather soon. With Survivor over, and I am sure the season finally of CSI, and then the end of ER.... well that's it for me.....I will have to wait until OCTOBER before DaVinci's Inquest comes back.... then I will watch TV again. Of course I am up in the middle of the night a couple nights a week... so I am sure I can get some D. Inquest reruns. This will make going to the library a much more successful event. Now I can bring books home with the actual intention of reading them cover to cover, not just cover to mid-section... that just so doesn't work!

I believe the boy only has a couple of games left in baseball.... that too will not be sad to done with. I like baseball... there is no convincing me of that fact... it's the mayhem of the homestead that I can not stand. While at baseball the Pipster always manages to find a huge piece of filth, and spread it across her clothes and body.... just so I can get her home and convince her to have a bath at 8:30 in the evening. The Pip only takes long baths.

I am not certain that this tea is going to do the trick of making my nose stop running. It's a little method I use for the allergyness of the season... just cottonwood issues... but it makes my sinuses crazy.... which in turn keeps me crazy.. so there's always an answer for everything if you look hard enough!

I wasn't confident that the huge amount of mushroom manure would make my flower pots and baskets happy... but this morning those leaves appear to have smiles on them... and actually seem perkier, and the most important BIGGER... sitting in those pots. I think I love mushroom manure. I still don't care for my front lawn... it isn't perky and happy. It needs mushroom manure. In fact the first person that I find today that isn't perky and happy will great a gift of a bag of mushroom manure.... now there's certainly a gift of happiness.

The boy is impatiently waiting to use this beastly machine... which is pausing as I type... there is certainly a bug living in here... I just know it.... although this will not be the item that receives the bag of mushroom manure... that will be saved for a human. I think I am going to invest in something that kills bugs dead.... but it comes in a box.... which I pay way more money for, and doesn't smell.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Blades upon blades

That is what I am hoping for. Blades of grass sprouting all across my front lawn. I have planted almost an icecream pale full of seeds.... and three have started to sprout. THREE I SAY! I even have watered, and misted, and moisted, and trickled water over my non-sprouting lawn. Today I am hoping for all that to change....... as I walked out the door at 0630 am it was pouring buckets outside, big stainless steel containers worth of rain was crashing down. I think this is what it's going to take... to get the job done! I will be expecting vast areas of green-ness when I return.

Friday, May 13, 2005

voodoo truths

I have lived through a vicious week of pain throughout my face which radiated through my temples, and down into my ear and up through and around the roof my mouth. And, just to fool me, it would subside, and stop... then start up again with a vengence.... yes, very similar to (a womanly word here... so boys.. you won't have a clue).... a contraction. That pain has subsided now. Interestingly, my sister stopped using me as her voodoo doll of lies simultaneously withthe pain stopping. Oh thank you sister. She was in hysterics laughing about my pain and sudden Tylenol 3 habit... as she had to borrow my name to get out of an obligation that she didn't really want to go to. .... and all the tales that were told to the obligatory visitee.... came true .... it was a nice experiment in voodooism.

In other truths of the day......I shall list them....
  1. I still DESPISE build-a-bear... but the girl conned me... because she got a gift card last week from the birthday party.
  2. The boy managed to spend time in the build a bear store, and memorize the music while there... just so he could sing it to me on the way home.
  3. I still do not have ear plugs.
  4. Sometimes Safeway is just too big.....
  5. The boy got blue separators in his back teeth today....
  6. The orthodontic contract scares me.....
  7. My girl scares me. All the time.
  8. At this moment she is in love with her new Pink Fluffy Poodle named Roxy.
  9. My sensory seeking nephew insisted on biting chunks off of the PVC type tubing that protects the bars on the trampoline.
  10. The other nephew insisted on jumping head first into the netting that surrounds the trampoline.
  11. I hope the next time they come back... it's raining.
  12. My sister is interested in getting a trampoline... it should last about a week, with her two.
  13. I have not yet asked how the Mr. Husbandman purchased his new cordless drill. The airmile accumulation must continue!!!
  14. I did however; tell Mr. Husbandman if there are any purchases to be made, that he should forward them to me in writing, and I will carry out his wishes... with my Mastercard.
  15. Also, any other wishes that do not include using the Mastercard will not be granted. EVER
  16. My sister told me she wants her fold-up lawn chair back... because the identical one that she has at her house which she claims to be mine... "the back flips up".
  17. I will be sure to ask for her piece of intact PVC tubing when she gets her trampoline... because mine has chunks bit out of it. (!!!)
  18. The catdog can tell the time... but only at 5:00.
  19. There's snoring coming from the den.... it's not getting closer, although it's getting louder.
  20. Although I was up at 4:50 this a.m., I will barely make it up for the 0530 wake up, and the 0630 pick up from the sister in the green honda people mover. That I know is the truth!

Today's agenda:

it's 5:10 in the AM.... a list of things that I have done so far:
  1. Just found the perfect early morning show to watch on the history channel.
  2. I believe the sound of Ma Ma! is not coming from the television set.
  3. Escort the girl to the big scary bathroom, that is right across the hall from her.
  4. Tuck my girl back into bed.
  5. I look out the window of her bedroom, which faces the street.
  6. Watch the resident criminal wander in and out of people's driveways.
  7. ~~Ping~~ I realise this is the resident criminal.
  8. Sneeze 15 times.
  9. Try and tuck the girl back into her bed, which she has now clearly refused to do since she has seen the criminal.
  10. Tuck the girl into the den, and change my history channel show to something for an 8 year old.... like her favourite.... "killer instinct".
  11. The criminal get's on a motorbike and makes his way through the connector trail... (where motorbikes do not go...)
  12. Call on the Queens Cowboys (police) for some early morning patrols around the streets.
  13. Formulate yet another conversation in my head to tell the boy and girl that this is how low you go when you are on drugs.
  14. I almost forgot to let the little fraidy catdog inside.
  15. Made some coffee.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Trusty T's

Earlier this evening I decided to head over to the grocery store for milk, and other useless items that will fill a grocery bag while taking my money, but collecting airmiles all the while. Along the way I spotted my friend out in her front yard cutting her beautiful lush thick bladed green lawn. I am not envious, I am not jealous, I am ....... so wishing I had a thick green weedless front lawn, yes I am. Anyways... we were happily talking about life and such ... and then along comes a tooth conversation. She relays her story.. and I relay mine... such coincidences you see. As it turns out... my face started misbehaving badly... very badly... and it had calmed down for all of the afternoon...anyways, when I had seen her, I had just taken 2 EZ swallow Tylenol, from the stash in the 15 year old SUV.... She offers me up some of her Tylenol 3's. I wave her off... I'll be alright. She insists, and runs in the house and comes back with a little bottle.... I'll take them for a safety net... I should be OK.. the face gave me no trouble what so ever last night.....

YA RIGHT!!!! It's a good thing that I snatched the little offering right out of her hand, and brought them home, and brought them in and re-labelled the bottle with TYLENOL #3 on the outside. ... (for great fears that one of the chicklets would wake up... and Mr. Husbandman would give them these very pills.. and knock them smiling for days...) but not to worry... for I have woken up in super severe pain in this face... and have cracked open the jar of TYLENOL 3'S....and have sucked the vapors, fumes and the dust from the very container.

2 T 3's later and the face has settled into a dull thud with that fresh in the face with the cast iron frying pan feeling ...... I like having friends... I believe the dentist has just made my best friends list, especially for tomorrow.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005


How do you do that? How do you go to the dentist.. and tell them to fix you... but don't come near me?

My face-freak-out-spasm-for-many-hours-and-feels-like-a-spark-plug that has been injected into my face has settled. It's just tired and sore from being such a "freak face", and I can handle that... I think. The crowned tooth on the other hand has decided that it is going to be quite sensitive to the whole ordeal... and continues to give me grief.... perhaps because the face-freak-out thing overshadowed the real pain that was living in my mouth while I was busy noticing other things.

I think I am going to call the dentist tomorrow.... so he can stare at my tooth, and touch it... then I will have to yell at him... and then I will leave. Tomorrow will be a very productive day... I can just tell already. Bloody crowned things.. they just think they are so special....HA! if it only knew that it wasn't gold... but a mere porcelain jobby... this crowned tooth wouldn't think it was so special after all. It better start behaving like a regular tooth pretty darn quickly... otherwise it will be the last time it sees bristles or floss... take that !!

Here's the boy waiting on third... for something better to come along.... like a walk to home plate. Posted by Hello

The boy.. he made it to home plate...I believe he was supposed to be running.. but he could have been walking here.... Posted by Hello

Little Lady Pip... and her array of messiness worth of decorations.... I had to laugh at how windy it was... and how messy all the decorations ended up... but the Pipster didn't care... she was just plain happy. Posted by Hello

Now this is a cake... a stack of donuts... and the little frilly pipster girls were tickled by the pinkness... there were candles in them.. but since I was outside, on what turned out to be a very windy day... this is the only shot of The Pipster donut cake.... Posted by Hello

Things you do at Birthday parties. Clearly yo do not hand out paints that would resemble a colour of a dog... because you wouldn't end up with pink spotted purple creatures... that resemble the shapes of familiar animals. Posted by Hello

The tree man.

Almost a week ago now at this time the phone rings. It's the tree removal man. He would like to come and take our tree downs first thing Friday morning, but maybe more like noon.. so he says. It's a deal, I say... but you have to be here before three... because I am having a birthday party here... and it wouldn't look good if one of the birthday party goers gets bonked by a big branch. He assures me it wont be an issue, he'll be here before three. Mr. Husbandman goes outside first thing Friday morning and removes picket fences, and fences between the yards, and digs out little shrubs and a camilla bush/tree, and cuts the lawn.

And then we wait. And wait. And wait some more. And if we hadn't waited enough... we then wait some more. I don't do waiting. I am the queen of impatience... and that wouldn't be the flower that I am talking about. Take for example.......

I walk into the boy's classroom at 3:10 on the Friday..... and what is he busy doing at that time, but having yet another detention... and why... because he couldn't get his crap together... and hand in his homework, which he had done... because evil me had made him do it... but he had apparantley lost it from his bedroom, to the classroom. So I say to the teacher that I respect very much, but she makes me shake my head, as much as she shakes her head at me... but I still like her... because she makes the boy work... which is something that he is capable of... but isn't "in to" if he doesn't feel like it, but he's kind of frightened of her... which to me is a good thing. Anyways... I just say to her... not today lady teacher... (he has a fair amount of detentions... and not for being bad, but rather being air-headed... and I have to say... it hasn't done a lick of good all year... but I will continue to wait in hopes that he might just get the fact that his head is actually attached to his shoulders, although I won't hold my breathe...).. boy... I have some place to be.. and it's not waiting here for you....so then I say to the lady teacher... we will deal with him on Wednesday when you return... she laughs at my highly psychotic ways.... and then tells the boy to take his mothers day present with him... even though it seems that I do not care for him much right at that moment... she is positive that I like him. Which is the truth... except when he makes me wait... because I get rather impatient.... as just told by me.

The squealy girls then arrive at the homestead.... and not long after that... so does the tree man. OK.... what the god's are clearly unaware of... is that I am now completely digital camera happy... and want to document every moment of the goings on of life.... so now.. I am having great difficulty capturing our finely dressed tree cutter man, and the Pipenza's birthday party event. AND... Mr. Husbandman is greatly interested in the tree removal event... but doesn't have a clue how to work the new camera... because it is mine, MINE, MINE.... so he's good and useless for capturing photo's... as useless as he was to help with the Pipenza Birthday event... it became mutitasking mayhem.

The tree cutter man was an interesting fellow to watch... I especially like the way he used his trusty assistant as a branch buffer... that fellow definitely wears a hardhat for a reason... every day I am sure is practical joker day as another tree limb falls on his head. The tree cutter man was spiffed up in his uniform for tree cutting...clogs, suspenders, jeans with a fly have up/down, and a brown tie. It's does sadden me though... a brown tie... he knew he was coming to a birthday party.. he could have been better dressed... on Easter... he wore an Easter Tie, that certainly impressed Mr. Husbandman... which was how the big decision was made to hire this guy to cut trees. Although for a while I did wince at the tree cutter man.... that little tie of his almost made a dash towards the chainsaw a number of times. You know.. for a couple of moments during the birthday party event... I thought I was going to see heads roll. Almost like a clown gone bad. Luckily... all turned out well, and they left a nice mess in the back yard to clean up.

Gone. The little yellow streamer was to keep the people that had arrived in my backyard away from danger... because yellow streamers are good for fending off wild girls.... Posted by Hello

A view from the other end...the tree man managed to save my hydrangea... I guess the tie that he showed up in meant he was all business about his business. Posted by Hello

Going, going..... Posted by Hello

One down, one to go. Posted by Hello

Now there's a good guy...cleaning up before the mess is even made. There's the offending right angled willow, and the other "tree" that's in the way..... but not for long.... Posted by Hello


I am not certain if I am carrying the scent of a piece of chewing gum, or a lovely peppermint patty. All the same, that is the fragrance of the day... or at least it has been for the last number of days. It goes like this.....

The other day I ate some baby carrots... and like all things that grow from the earth they should be good for you.. right, wrong. Very wrong. I have two teeth that connect in my mouth... (for you dentists out there... anterior open bite)... this didn't mean much to me way back when... what the heck is that???...oh well... off I go. Not that simple anymore. Anyways... one of those tooth connections have a crown on it.... so I munched and munched on carrots, using my one carrot crunching tooth. Somewhere between Sunday night, and early Monday morning... the face realized that this crowned tooth was agitated over the events of the carrot eating earlier in the following evening... and so my face woke me up to make me aware of it's unhappiness. For whatever reasons... since my face doesn't line up... (not on the outside on the inside!..as in joints and muscles!!) I have that TMJ that has come to haunt me when I am not looking. So now...I am feeling the effects of whatever unhappiness my face is having at the moments... I have maxed out on the Tylenol 650 mg sustained release for the hour... and am now using a peppermint stick to ease the temporary face freakiness which has plagued it. Oh, and I'm allergic to anti-inflammatories.... which right now I would trade my bestfriend for, my 15 year old white SUV, and perhaps the new old dryer. Sorry people, and things.

So now... I have had to keep track of the stories that I was planning to tell... but they might not be that tellable now that they are old news.... there's just something about yesterday's news that is just so non-exciting..... it's like the 11:00 news... the stories were always better at 5.

My Pip packs a punch. After seeing this waiting for her on the table, she marched down to her brothers room and bonked him on the head.... getting him to wake-up so she could open-up.  Posted by Hello

Monday, May 09, 2005

I'm back.

I'm alive. That's all I can say. I wasn't sliced or diced or put into a evil eyed sleep inducing trance, by the LadyPipster. All is well, and I have some stories to tell. Just not now.

Friday, May 06, 2005

There's trouble brewing.

You know... I knew that eleven frilly squealy girls were going to make it to Pipenza's little birthday bash.... so I collected up eleven crafts. I never once took into consideration that there would be one extra child... that would be my girl. She is going to be quite nicely pissed when I tell her that she doesn't have a craft to paint.... so for now.. the plans have kind of changed. I have found in my cupboard of crap that we haven't used.. some door hangers... mind you they are for Christmas... but you never know.. someone may want to paint them. Or, even better perhaps there will be a little squealer who is a pokey painter.. and then it wont matter.. I did get two for each of them... them meaning the birthday party attendants, and forgetting totally the reason why I was doing this in the first place! That's trouble. Big time. I probably wont be back... ever.... although the boy has taken up interest in starting a blog... but he wants to call his Junior's Word of the Hour.....

The stalker.

My mom tracked me down the other day... she searched and searched... then she called me at home. Hey surprise... I was here! We strategically made our way over to the big box location to purchase stuff. I was there as her right hand (wo)man to lift and manuever the items to be purchased.

Little did I know at the time but my silent sounding cell phone had been ringing. I have it with me... for what reasons I am not sure... but when "the people" need to find me... I'll be there, to answer... right, I WILL BE THERE, .... it's all good in theory. The cell phone isn't silent, it actually rings with an actual ringer, that actually sounds normal. Clearly I need an updated model that calls, whistles and sings to me... so I can hear it... but that's only a maybe.

We go for some lunch after and as we were standing outside plotting our next moves... along comes a burgandy Montana van with a crazed woman waving her arms about inside. DRATTS... we've been caught. The Montana Van slides smoothly into a empty parking stall where the window slowly makes it way down... and the noise coming from the insides was beyond our eardrums liking.... " I knew you two were up to something... this is a plot to get me...... do you people not answer your cell phones anymore, so this is where you go when my back is turned?!''..... she fired at us. The lovely sister had found us... we laughed at her persistance, and continued on with plan making, then ~~~~POOF~~~~, like that.... the burgandy van slowly back out, with my mom inside...

Unable to deliver.

The other day I met a friend for coffee. Her very first request was please don't make her laugh.... she hurt too much from her work out. I thought in my head.... "I'll see what I can do for you". As in... what stories should I tell to keep a straight shooting sensible grounded level about me, that results in a dull eh-he, eh-he. I am sure that lasted all of a minute. Then I resumed normal chitter-chatter.... she never complained once.. although I think I saw her wince a couple of times. Too add fuel to the supposed none laughing event was her almost 4 year old daughter that gave me lots of material to work with. Sorry L, not sure what made me do it! Before we knew it, even the people that hang around the coffee place on a regular every morning basis had left for their daily lives. In an effort to keep L from hurting herself with her sore muscles again... I will not speak of the tales that were told, or people that eat icecream from the Tillamook Cheese Factory... that clearly wouldn't be kind. I was most amazed at how you can totally become oblivious to time when you are in the company of good people.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Who's child is this?

There are some things that I don't really give a ..... let me think about the right word... yes, crap about. Things like birthdays. The day comes, and goes... and ooopps, another year older. Big deal... it happens to everyone. The Mr. Husbandman really doesn't care about them, and the 10 year old son is developing along the same lines since we have given up on the birthday parties... 2 years ago..... he asks every now and then if he could have a birthday party, and I say OH SURE.. but nothing materializes.... and even the boy forgets. The girl on the other hand was borne into another universe, but temporarily planted with this family for shear temporary mortel sanctuary, until her grand universe will be presented to her on a plush pink carpet, after all of the plans have been inspected and passed by none other than the Pipster herself. This is posing a problem to my sensitive ears. If I have to hear one more time that it's her birthday, and she's having a party... I'm going out and getting the shop vac and sucking up all her presents and every piece of the party parade that has made it's way into this home. Although, I have to say... it's a good thing that she has talked non-stop about the whole hideous event... it did remind me that I did need to go and find her some sort of gift to keep the devine being happy while she is staying with us on this planet.. who knows how her kind can punish our kind... the evil and uncaring homestay pee-ons that we are. I think when I gave our Pip a hug tonight she was levitating beneath her covers. OK, and believe this.... I did contemplate taking her out of class Friday afternoon... just because the child is unbelievably off the wall about her 8th birthday.... not sure why that is. I am not even buying the girl a cake... she is getting a pink donut platter piled with donuts for her birthday cake. I came up with that idea... she loved it... all pink, all the time.... (when she's not wearing her lime green that is).

Anyways... after tomorrow the birthday high will end, and she will slump into a deep depression by Saturday morning.... but, to fend off any further troubles that she may present... I will take her to the Elks Pancake Breakfast and load her up with syrup.... before the MayDay parade.

And in other useless tales that we tell about children:

The other morning I am telling the Pipster to hurry, which is the usual morning fare... (she doesn't hurry)... EVER!!!! The little Pipster turns to me... and in a polished tone says to me quite smartly: "You can not rush a lady, ladies do not rush".... she says, and continues to poke along at her regular pace. That's right Pip... your universe awaits you.....

I caught her chasing a boy tonight, (at the boys baseball game) all in good fun, but she was chasing him. I stopped her and benched her... immediately. I told her to sit and stay... girls with long blond hair do not chase boys... believe me on that one little lady. STAY. The girl from across the street was already benched by me for running in parking lots ( a dead end space with no cars moving)... which her mother would slice me over if she knew that her daughter was doing that... and she'd probably ask me for the dryer back.... so I had to get tough with the parking lot runner.. ... which was why the Pip was chasing the boy... because the girl across the street was no longer allowed to run through the parking lot... so she was egging my girl on the boy. "Lady Pipsters do not rush after boys", I said. If you were to see my Pip running, you would ask her to stop too. Believe me on that one.

AND.... in even more useless tales... the boy actually cranked out a hit tonight. He actually did it.... and had to pause at the plate, to watch it fly through the infield, into the outfield... run boy run!!

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

An object of desire. A cookie too beautiful to eat, but too sweet not to suck on. It was a well loved cookie.... I wonder where it made it to? Posted by Hello

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Working weather.

For once I have heard a weather forecast when it will actually make a difference. A little light rain this morning, and sun this afternoon. Perfect, to me that is. I have overseeded my front lawn...now that the moss has been ripped out, and holes popped in the ground. I am sure that I will see bright green sprouting all over the place, and not just in the pictures that I post. I have a couple of hanging baskets that I am going to throw together.... and I am not certain how you exactly you "throw" pots together... but I have been doing it for years.

Since I have many plans because of the working weather.. I need some working fuel. Thanks to my friend I have some cream for my coffee.... that I forgotten was in the fridge. Lucky day for me. If I ration correctly I will have enough for two cups. I may as well drink it black.. but I just couldn't do that. Black coffee. I don't think so.

Speaking of drinks.. I watched the most interesting sight last night. Who else do I speak of, but none other than the Pip. I watched her try and get a cup out of the drawer last night. We have a stack of plastic cups that we have accumulated over time from a local restaraunt. Last evening she was looking for a certain cup to drink her orange juice with. She was pretty high-strung about the "no-milk" event going on in the home, and the fact that her brother shouldn't live here because he always "cleans-up with the milk", and when was he leaving because of this. Anyways... she was fittingly looking for a cup that was red, and she had some lid from who knows where that she was frantically trying to insert on anything. I became scared from this sight, and found her most favourite Barbie cup in the universe, and poured a whole one inch of juice from the last of the orange juice into her most favourite cup. She paused, then hissed, "I have always hated that cup.... I am going to dump the juice". Another moment passed, and she reconsidered the juice dumping process... and a smile came to her lips after she had downed it. I am not certain how I am going to get those "other cups" out of the drawer, and out of that mind of the Pip.....

Do they have "shot-put" practice in the rain? I have reminded my boy that he needs to wake up... wake-up, wake-up, wake-up, wake-up boy. I asked him if he needed a morning song to get him out of bed, he usually doesn't consent to this amount of ridiculous stuff... but this morning he did. So I marched down there.. and started singing anything that came to mind.. which was: "it's raining outside and you have shotput practice".... to the beat of nothing other than the words, and repeated it enough times until he registered the noise to his brain. Miracles of miracles it worked. The ten year old tall boy whipped himself up and out, shook the sand from his eyes, and then started in on doing his regular barking of orders. All systems check.

Miss Molassessmorning-glory has risen.... aka The Pip. Now I need to coordinate her pokiness to his busy-ness... and everyone should be happy. SHOULD. BE. HAPPY. I will go inform them of the minute details.

Monday, May 02, 2005

My Extrovert.

That is what someone called my girl today. I am thinking along the same lines. The fellow that called her that remembers her from last year with the bears... he lives at the lodge where the bears surround him. We saw him quite a bit... and she always had something to say to him. ALWAYS. But then.. I live with the girl... and she is clearly a little on the edge. She came out to the non-remodelled-ugly-but-still-thankful-that-it-is-my-roof-over-my-head-kitchen a while ago. Hmmmm... I say to her... what are you supposed to be? I am a flower garden she says... as she has all her bendy flowers wrapped around her ankles, wrists, and neck.

She refused to go to running club today on the grounds that she had fallen at lunch. Again. She falls everyday, it's just that today the wind was blowing in a different direction which halted the running efforts.

Pipenza is still refusing to go to a birthday party of one of the little girls in her class. Pips still worried about the bathing suit entanglement issue. BUT.. her little friend from across the street (who can run, chewgum, wear highheels, scream and cry all at the same time) was immediately thrilled at the prospect of the Pipenza accompaniment. I am hoping that it might be a go because of this... it will help her in her future life at the beach because she's a babe. She'll be part of that crowd that wear bikini's and go to beaches.... she's good at lounging and hanging out, and casually flipping through books and such. Total beachness I think. Right now she is hanging in the livingroom playing her Polly Pockets and trying to remove the cushions on my couch, so the Polly's can travel down hills. She's also a natural at destroying things.

I will ready myself for the steady string of demands that will come after a hiatus of silence..... it could be any moment now.

This is part of the magic in the forest that we spotted Posted by Hello