Worried about the weekend

I'm very worried. Too worried for words. The week-end is coming... or more like it's here. Friday afternoon 4:34... that's weekend enough for me. Clearly the weekend has arrived.. and now I have to live through it... the two days that include Saturday and Sunday. Perhaps some worry juice should help me through this rough patch. Now I have to figure out what kind of worry juice to ingest....the troubles.... a whole weekend off that includes Saturday and Sunday. I probably will go through withdrawal....best get more worry juice for that little roadblock.

I have found myself.

It's all true. I was looking around different places.(bloggish types you know).. and there I was. That got me to thinking. Why would I be there? It's interesting where you can go to find yourself. But I will add that nothing seems to make anymore sense finding myself, I am still quite capable of maintaining a life lost in chaos! Trust me, it makes no difference. My hair even looks the same... two toned in all the wrong places. I will have to continue to work on that...

On lighter notes... I have noticed that the darkness doesn't show up around these parts until about five fifteenish.... and that's a good thing... I enjoy staying in the light. Some people may walk towards it.. and then, maybe not.... Light means many things... you can still find things at five oclock in your home, your children can run amuck in the streets later into the day, outside chores can be procrastinated even later now, it's closer to springtime with the light, and most importantly I will be able to plant a new lawn outback... it seems the crows are no longer interested in the soggy mess that they have accomplished. AND.... the tulips are on their way up. Must go... the light and fluffy muffins are ready in the oven!!

It's the single life for me.

That is the song that Miss Ellpee has been singing since Sunday. She is the dog in charge now. On Monday she had that title handed over to her as I shut the door to go to my group. I listened at the front door, while the lonely Miss Licky ran around the house crying. She has never had this much freedom in this castle of new found Queenliness. She is apparantley rather nervous with her new found status. She will be required to learn the routines of "The Evil Queen" herself. Although there was no teaching involved with that one, Queen Evil managed to be home-schooled all on her own accord. Little Miss Ellpee doesn't strike me as the brightest lightbulb kind of dog, and never has. So, things like the postman will go unnoticed and of course then, unbroadcasted. I now no longer have a doorbell, as Cicely took that upon herself to make up for a defective home builder. I do however have silence with an occasional cry. The strangers at the front door will now be welcomed with a little cry and a wag of Ellpee's tail. Lucky me.

More things to note about the single dog life situation.... there are no more baby gates to move about the house. I don't have to wonder where Evil One and Evil Two are when people come inside. The "dog dirt" load is now down to one. Vacuuming will actually make a difference now.
We will now have to clear the counters at all times with the new miss in the Queenly Status. This new Queen believes in scouring counters for any sign of food that potentially might have her name on it. (Including knives and forks that have had food on them... she takes them to her cage) This is one thing we didn't have to worry about with the Cicely Queen... she would have starved herself to death with kitchen counters loaded with food... she just wouldn't take it. Queen Ellpee has changed all that....she has given me a new slogan to live by "Don't leave home with this one". On a different note, I wont have stories about "Hissy and Licky", and "Evil One and Evil Two", "The Evil stepsisters", "The Queen and her not so loyal servents".... so the story factor has been shortened here. So now we have a silent queen among us... and I am sure that I will come up with some stories about that. Starting now.... Mr. Husbandman has clicked the nails of the new queen... and not only is she silent on the sound system (barking), her nails don't make her click. Go Ellpee go !!

The last Raa-roo

Please take note: It would be wise to read these words of advice prior to advancing any further. Here she is, the Prancer of prancers, the evilest of evil, the Queen of all queens... sorry liz... See that ball, that is her ball.. don't touch her ball.. she may walk up to you, and roll it towards your feet... but don't touch it.. she will snatch it and run away. That is her game.. she plays with you. She's also a vegetarian. Everything under the sun is hers, and hers alone. I will be able to have an actual garden this year, and not a Prancer-snack-fest going on. Everything that resembles cucumbers, peas, beans, carrots, lettuce, green and red peppers, zuchinni, pumpkins, strawberries, and apples.. all hers, don't dream of picking it yourself... because she will have already done it for you. And.... dare to kick a soccer ball into this backyard of ours... her response..."thanks for the snowball, even in the summertime... too bad it didn't land in your yard... It's mine now". There is no getting back the soccer ball from this dogs jaws. Her toys are her toys, and don't dare touch them... she had many in the backyard that she gathers around her... and then she sits.... in the middle of her dogmade kingdom.. and waits for some poor unsuspecting soul to try and touch one of her prized items... and then pounces forward, to retrieve the article in question. Dinner may be a little troubling for those that do not know her... she gives the raa-roo, (which is how she barked when she was just a littlepup), and we made her continue to talk like that... and then she immediately dives in, grabs a mouthful... and then runs across the room and spits it all out, then eats it. Interesting. Right now she up sitting on her very own cloud... daring other dog souls to rest upon her pillow, waiting for snowballs to bounce her way. A word to the wise...she may be gone from these earthly lands... but she will make her presence known in the heaven's above...you've been warned. And Prance... try to get along with the others... certainly you will find someone that you like up their... see you Cicely.
Oct 1993 - Jan 2005

Friday confessional

So the Mr. Husbandman has been after me to write a blog. Interesting..... I thought I did that... a little too much. Well apparantley not. There has been some talk of late about a certain number of shampoo bottles around the rim of the tub.

There are lots of shampoo bottles around the rim of the tub.

I will be sure to tell him that I have written about myself on this blog. It was informative and enlightening to all those that will read it. He will be so delighted in the fact that I have written something rather sinister about myself. He will never find this blog to find the actual truth... which is about to be written about him.....

He bought another bar of deodorant today... he told me that he was starting his collection all over again... I will be on the lookout for this one!!!

It get's better:

Mr Husbandman and myself went out for lunch today. Together. At the same time, at the same place, across from one another. I almost asked him for I.D. when he sat down. Instead I asked to see his left hand... no wedding ring... that was the clue... "Your'e clear, please proceed and sit down, I believe you to be my actual significant other".

He sat. We conversed about life and other junk, and gambling dates, and torcheress aftereffects of putting hard earned money into electronic machines and stuff. Infact, we talked about the Pickaspats. Yes, we did. The actual conversation isn't all too relevent...(about juggling schedules if you must know).... but it's the final comment that is the clincher......"That's it"... Mr. Husbandman says.... "I should marry Mr. Pickaspat, he can work, I will stay at home... and everyone will be happy"......

Mr. Husbandman almost turned into Mr. Humourman at 1:30 this afternoon. This was a close call. He is still at home with me this evening.. but I am not sure if he may up and leave me... at any moment... for Mr. Pickaspat....

Free swimming lessons.

Yes, that's right.... it's all free.....swim to your hearts content.. and if you can't swim.. don't worry, you'll swim anyways!! Your shoes will swim in the streams that have been built on man-made sidealks. Your clothing will swim in layers of wetness... and of course your hair will be swimming in hair products, or raindrops. Your socks can be wrung out to give yourself some bathwater... if you need it for later. As you walk through the streets.. you will wade in a sea of colourful umbrellas. And, if you are not very careful.. your face will swim in a mask of mascara.. because of the wall that wetness that is streaming towards your face. Forget showering... it's doing enough of that outside, just stand with your bar of soap.. and lather away. I think it's actually easier to go for swimming lessons... you probably don't get as wet as everyone is right now.

Feeling parched?

Is it dry and hot where you are?
Has humid turned into a swearword?
What about your throat...will your thirst ever be quenched?
Does the idea of going outside bring more hot flashes to the already hot and sticky areas?
OR-
Are you having visions of cool rushing water around you?
What are your thoughts of driving around the countryside *including local highways and on-ramps to the freeway* with your car stalling in a "puddle of water"?

If any of these thoughts have come to pass in the last number of days feel free to join us here on the westcoast... and soothe that irrestable urge to stomp through puddles with your brand new rainboots! You will have your chance, perhaps... you should just go for a swim instead... but don't forget to bring your wetsuit ... Well, what about just enjoying some gold ole' winter rain festivities... because if you have come up with some... then come on over and share the fun. WE are not having any fun right now. WE are drenched and will probably remain at this level of wetness for the next week. One foot of rain is expected to fall by Friday.

Joy oh joy! Oh, and another thought.. hairspray just doesn't work well enough in the rain. Now I am going to have a plastic head-hair-do. It is so not going to be a pretty sight. Mousse, gel, hair smoother, and a blowdryer will not be able to control the forces that are falling from the sky at mock speed.... I need to invent a method by morning.... I have a fork... perhaps I will go with that idea for a considerable new look... I am at least hoping to get some volume out of it.

I wonder if I would feel the same.. if all of this could be a warm wetness, rather than this cold wetness...hmmmm... I do have a friend who is leaving for Maui on Wednesday for 7 weeks... perhaps I should test the wet warmness factor there....that would be a start at least!! Maybe I could figure out how those little paper umbrellas actually work...

Must stop typing now.. I am very cold... VERY COLD... although it is dry in this home... it still isn't warm.. must find heat fast. I am an unmeltable snowman.

And the gayness goes on...

Well, he is happily watching that show...that show.. something..... yes, Desperate Housewives. (Only after completing all of his self-made chores... dinner cookage and breadmaking..) these are the e-mails that I am sending out without him knowing...

... so the question was asked if I/WE (the latter which is not a usual request)... to go out with some friends... this was my responsse:

Ok... the commercials here.. and I am being met with resistance. He's scared.... very scared... I told him about the B-U-F-F-E-T. He appears queazy...I will work on him... I will break down his defenses.... I will lie to him ...I will try not to steal his money....he is just not sure about parting with his money.... perhaps I could suggest that he can monitor my money bloodletting that will occur.... perhaps I will have to perform some wifely miracle.... he he he he he he he he he he he. D.

Are you gay?

That was the first question that I asked my now husband, many many moons ago. How nice does that sound.... "Are you gay??" asks the silly girl with the amazingly weird but almost likable hair. (me). As of tonight I am once again asking that question......

How does he do it??? How is this man capable a building a the softest smoothest yummiest absolutely porportioned batch of white buns on this side of city... where there is no bakery close... with the exception of Save-on-Foods....

But then.... he also made his secret mashed potatoes... and they were a secret... I still don't know how to make regular mashed potatoes.. so he could be lying here.....

Then of course there was the dark gravy happenings also going on...I tried adding my two bits.. which clearly were handed back to me ...with a tisk included....

And.. two vegtables included in the meal.. which is big for him.. considering where we got the scurvey son and all....

Of course then the clean-up occured.. and I find that if I get in the middle of clean-up.. he get's a little miffed.. as in he constantly bumps into me... I think that is a sign that he wants to me bump out.. and if I don't do it in quick speed.. he will bump me off. Freak.

But then.... he's not done... then he sets his (mine) breadmaker... for another loaf of bread. Once again... show off... the whole while... the dryers on... and I certainly didn't do it.

That's it... I was right.. he is just so gay.

Can someone make them smarter?

I went to work today... and all I was hoping for was some common sense... from somebody, anybody... knock knock...right...

"We're sorry, all of the people that you wish for, have not come to work today, you will have to be stuck with all of the people that can not think beyond their noses, or can not preplan anything beyond the outside of a patient's room. Sorry for your inconvenience Deanna, perhaps today wasn't the choice of days to come to work, better luck next week."

I think my little universe of common sense collided with the massive amount of sleetsnow that was left on the streets this morning.

But then of course there was my friend... who had a headache for the better part of the day.. I was frightened to talk with her... because all of the other people were competing for her attention. In fact... so was her husband...on a normal non-head-ache filled day for her, I would have talked to her Mr. Husbandman.. but since she had the look of an impending headblowing event, I just stayed the course... and did what I did, whatever that is.

By the time I left today.. it was chaos. C-O-M-P-L-E-T-E chaos. I was quite happy to dust depart.. On a good note, I was able to get a good bunch of junk done.. that nobody knows that I do.. I just do it.

Of course... upon coming home..... I have been massively hunting for a new position somewhere.. but then again.. I have also tried to book a trip to Cancun, Nova Scotia, and Quebec. None of which happened either. I need to be rescued from this job... really. I do not have an ounce of patience to deal with the questions and peoples oddities and quirkiness to see through another year. Then of course.. there are the patient's families... and they are all freakshows unto themselves..... I will book my holiday (time that is... not holidaying as in "hot beaches") for as much as a I can spread it out.... this is going to be a long year.

I will of course fail to mention that I am OVERLY PICKY when it comes to finding such a PROMISING POSITION somewhere.... it has to be just the right hours, not over a bridge.. (well, at least one that takes a long time to try and just get to that is...)... and suitable for me.. I do not want to be someone's assistant. Did I ever write and say.. I really hate my name.. especially when I hear it every 2 minutes by stupid people. And that's all I will say to that nasty little statement.

So, my wish for this day... make all the people that are already smart, but came to work stupid instead..... find their brains, and then come back to work next weekend... when yet again, I will still be there... and we can try this all over again... I'd be willing to try. Or, am I just a sucker for punishment?? he he he he he....

Sleetman cometh

So, it snowed. woohwho. yae. snow. Yes, big fluffy flakes of white billowing snow. WHICH ALL CAME TO A CRASHING HALT. Boombangdone. Now it is sleeting outside. How the hell can it sleet... I think it should snain, no wait... instead of snaining, it should be sleetsnow, or what about sleet-and-snow-is-slain... (say that fast 3 times). That would be the fine mix of snow and rain... snaining out. Not here though... what started out white has gone crystal clear. Mr. Husbandman has already cleaned the sleet slash snow from the driveway. I think he is a snainer lover.

WE should all be green by the a.m. My next greatest fear will be the fact that THE GIRL will have to play soccer...in the snain sludgy fields. She already DESPISES the whole game... let alone play while it is snaining or sleetsnow. I am not sure how we are going to get this girl to finish playing out the season...so far, we have done well for the first two weeks of January... we haven't had to see any form of it quite yet. Except for the soccer coach man at school... he reminds me daily that the Pipster belongs to a team... some how I wish we could just lose ourselves from this team.. just because the girl DESPISES soccer way too much. She doesn't even know the word despise... but it clearly can be used to describe her and the name soccer in the same sentence.
She even has me convinced that she should no longer go... and I am not one to give up anything too easily.. at all...I mean... I have to consider how much the boy doesn't like Tae Kwon Do on any given day.. and yet.. I still make him go back, twice a week.... for the last 3 three years. One day I am certain he will be happy about me dragging him there... but I won't wait for that rainbow quite yet...

Meanwhile... I will continue to watch it snain and sleetsnow. Oh dear.

I have been a bit short on words this past week... but this might spark some attention to detail.... what is this? 

When I said pink, I really meant it! 

This is one of the hotspots for our bear friends.. and in the opposite direction of the previous picture... 

More of where the bears aren't. Interesting contrast with the white and green.. 

This is the photo when they were getting yelled at, you can tell by the shear terror in their eyes that they fear this evil lady! 

The cutest and pokiest chicklets on the face of the planet... it took the girl's teacher to yell at them... so I could get that picture above...because this is all I was getting prior....

FYI

1. Headaches surpress storytelling.
2. Life is unbloggable with a headache in tow.
3. I enjoy driving back and forth to the "bear watching" zone, even in winter...it makes the headache more bareable!
4. The normally red hued blueberry bushes in winter, turn pink in frost.
5. It's too windy around here, the snow can not live on tree branches.
6. I should wear shoes with grooves while picture hunting.
7. I don't ice skate, even with shoes on.
8. Regular scheduled programming will resume once I have ingested enough Tylenol Extended Super Strength to let my headache know to GO AWAY !!!
9. Washing windows doesn't work with a headache... it's similar to the sound of harmony balls rolling around in your head.. except there is little harmony.. just noise.
10. The normally silent silly little dog named Ellpee barks way too loud somedays.

Actual snow, actually falling.

It's all true. Snow... pure snow just drifting from the sky.. it is trying very hard to be very slushy snow.. which would naturally turn to rain... this is what "they" the forecasters keep saying at least. But for now, I get to watch it snow... and it's quick snow for that matter.... it's falling very fast from the sky. Like it's in a hurry to fall now that it has finally arrived. "Don't worry Mr. Snowflake, once you hit the ground you'll be stepped on, pushed around, kicked, shoveled peed on and redirected to be amassed into one of 3 large balls, only to then be called a snowman.. take your time Mr. Snowflake...because once you're down your done!"... Yes, I would prefer the snow to lazily fall through the sky. Perhaps having a lazy snowfall, would help to make a lazy snowman... that way... there will not be a big rush to see it melt, or be smashed or something.

I love the blanket of silence that comes with snow... everything becomes hushed and serene. Until the snow wrecker plowing trucks make their way through the neighbourhoods, and salt and sand have been strewn across the miles of roadways...and then the clean snow goes grey. Yae gray snow, with tiny pebbles attached. Oh my god.. just rain... bring on the rain!!!!!

Too early for real life..

But this is what has happened so far.

1. The girl woke up, yelling... yelling really loud. She actually wasn't calling me, but I went anyways... due to the fact that it was a "bellow" for someone to arrive at her bedside. She was all pissed that she couldn't feel her legs. So then she begins to yell at me more... "See, see they just have no feeling in them"... as her feet scramble beneath her covers. So I say to her in a 6:01 in the AM voice... "why don't you close your eyes and go back to sleep.. maybe your legs will follow".
2. Bad music on the radio.. which always wakes me up... because I then have to wonder if anyone else is enjoying this music, or this is how the rest of the world wakes up... and is still in a happy state when they arrive at work.
3. I let Ellpee out of her cage, and she has been ROARING around the house ever since. We live in dragville (the hallway), which is next to the smash-up derby, which is where Ellpee spends her time slamming into cupboards in the kitchen.
4. Then of course we have old dog who was sleeping in the den.. but with all of Ellpee's commotion... she has turned it into a bat cave... where the echo's of howl's and other strange noises are coming from (all being emitted by the evil beast herself). Now it's just the rhythmic sound of subtle crying. We are all very good at ignoring that sound.
5. Someone was up, down the hallway... but the noise I was hearing, made me stop typing... "what the hell is that??"... oh, it's the boy, doing his good-morning monkey awakening routine. Too scarey to comment.
6. I need to go and find my daily planner... it serves as a reminder of all the things that I need to accomplish for the day.. now I need to find it... otherwise their will be chaos.. I will remain at this post and continue to type a list.
7. Oh, and a final word, the lovely sky is turning a warm shade of redorange. The sun is about to rise, which will be overshadowed soon by the clouds that are coming... which have been promised to produce snow... but I am not holding out on that small fact. I was a sucker once.. but twice I would be an idiotsucker. Can't have that.
8. Best go prepare for real life.

And this is believable too:

So the man... he's a glassman.. sometimes I refer to him in a not so loving way... but rather, as the "assman"... but that is only saved for when he has totally pissed me off. Which is not very often at all...at all. I just like to write it... kind of Seinfeldish... in my own distorted way. Anyways, as usual, that's not the point to the story.

We are spending our typical night together, after the nightowl children are locked away into their rooms...... him... waaaaaay over there in the den, with the silly Yiper on his lap, and a baby gate for protection across the den door. And me.... all the way over here, in front of the computer... learning about facts about the world.. or spilling inspiring words across the waves.. (you can really just take your pick about what I am really doing.. some nights I read... but I have failed to give you that choice, and I lied about the inspring words...)So, the Dendwellerhusband man says to me.. "be done with the internet.. I need to use the phone". I fire back... "Bigshot... thinking you are all high and mightly with your pretend people you are needing to call..." he proceeds to talk with a few people, press the buttons on the phone claiming to ring in some Visa transaction... takes the German Yiper outside for the night, tucks her in her cage, ruffles up the evil dog, and then leaves...it's 11:37 PM... "Where are you going?" I ask Mr. Phonebeeper. "I have a date.. with a vehicle impact, don't wait up for me.." "Ya, right.... that is so believable... assman".... I say.

I like my husband... he is a man of very little words... but he has a big sense of humour. And he did the dishes again tonight.

Believe me when I say

I am not totally psychotic. Really.

I spend much time reminding myself of that very fact. It's not me, it's my environment.
It's just the things that set me off. If only I could convince the neighbours of this same fact, I might have it made.

If I could somehow declare that it's only "things" that are making me psycho... and that I am not this way permanently, nor do I need drugs or therapy to cure these psychotic ways. There is the "one" small problem of: the wildly abnormal crazy tri-coloured hair that didn't look like it was teased, and the painted on "not-red, but-rather-bright-in-colour-lipstick" and the fact that I gesture with my hands too much, and talk to myself. Really I am fine. I don't even have OCD, it's just fun to write that I have it... because after turning your head at least 3000 times while working from home.. it begins to make you wonder... complete boredome, or OCD. (Sorry all you OCD sufferers.. hopefully one day you will be cured, or at least 10 steps forward and 1 step back, rather than the 2 - 3 thing, and that you might figure out that your hands really are clean after the 27th wash.... in 5 minutes..and... don't worry about checking, you still didn't run over somebody with your car.)

I am not sure that all the explaining, convincing and reassuring on this side of the planet will be enough to get someone to blink a sign acceptance.

All these thing that turn me into a psycho lady are simple everyday "things and happenings". That all happen at once, all the time. I almost like to think that I have a neon sign painted over my head... 'Quick and Easy Psycho'. These things include 4 legs and are full of fur. All of this 1365 square feet of this house can turn into "Psychoville" quite quickly with the addition of two dogs, and the two dogs that I despise more than I despise the word.... OH, I just can't say.. it is just a gross word. So you are going to have to either guess, or think of the grossest of gross words and just fill in the blanks. No sooner than do we set foot in the house.. and the evilest of oldest dogs insists that she needs OUT. NOW. The phone starts ringing, and it's the newspaper man wanting to sell me a subscription for more time with The Vancouver Sun... blah blah blah so says the man.... hiss woof wine flop, hiss woof wine flop so says the dog.. then the pipster wants her friend from across the street over... can she, can she, can she, can she, can she, can she, ... then the boy starts up the PS2... and the whirling, slooshing, and pinging begins. The very second that the evilest of queens makes it outside, this upsets the youngest and silliest and most annoyingly loudest high pitched barker when she wants to be dog in the world, Ellpee. In truth, it can not even be classified as a bark, it's a yipe. YIPE, YIPE, YIPEYIPE, YIPE. YIPE. YIPEYIPE. (And she likes to call herself a German Shepherd... she should be called the German Yiper). You can't even make her stop. There is no stopping the German Yiper.

I think I am going to invest in a big huge fly swatter. I will slam it down onto my horribly old kitchen floor, (READ THIS MR. FIXIT... HORRIBLY OLD, DETERIORATING KITCHEN FLOOR) thus creating my very own psychotic noise "whoooosh-whip".... and hopefully stun everyone into attention. (That includes Mr. Vancouversunsubscriptionman)....after this.... I will have control of my Kingdom.. for another whole 20 seconds. Until the next whooshwhip prevails settles to the ground.

And I am having troubles comprehending why the neighbours would think I am psychotic. Hello, my name is Mrs. Whooshwhip, and I like to practice saying it alot. Yes, that sounds believable.

Somethings up...

There's wind. Alot of it... gusts, and gales and grey skies, and extreme cold... AND I am still waiting for the snow. I have a very bad tick that twists my head to the left... but now I need to lurk into the street lights to check to see if it ( THE SNOW!) has arrived... this OCD thing is getting far worse than anticipated!

Not only am I overly interested in the snow situation.. I have apparantly become quite interested to see when the chicklets will be arriving home from the neighbours.... (whose bedtime is at 9:00... on a late night).... it is 9:15..... I think the people have put themselves to bed... and have forgotten about the latenight guests.

OH.... and an addendum to yesterdays boast about the roast... now that's funny.... the boy asked his father "Is it good".. which was met with a "Uh huh". This precisionly thought provoking compliment will need to marked on one of the seven calendars as reference to the fact that I spent time "doing something" in the kitchen. (Especially when I plead my case once again to needing it renovated... that way I can have documented proof at the ready that "activities of kitcheness" do happen, by me).

Must go, my neck hurts.. I will meet the abscent children and snow face on.

OCD and me.

I have it. I have it bad...Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. That's me. I was doing OK, until the weather people told me it was going to snow. And snow it did, but then it quit. Now "they" (the weather people) have promised more snow.....so now... here I am watching for flurries, and accumulating centimetres, and gusting winds, and whiteout conditions. I keep looking out the window in great anticipation... to see the flakes start coming... but I keep waiting.... and I see nothing, well except yesterdays snow... and that's grown old now, it's no fun. I want to see a dump of white flakes that remain on the ground long enough to make a snowman, and a snowfort and a wall of snow down our driveway... before it begins to rain and gets washed away. This is what generally happens. So, here I am ..... working from home.... and staring out the window every couple of seconds....with a bad tick developing quickly....

In control of my universe.

I wish I was. I wish I was in control of my universe. I would never be "on time" for school, or work... I would be early. Today I was early for school, children and adults alike were shocked. I'm not even sure which clock I was trying to follow in my little house... they all seem to have their own beat. But we managed to... in spite of the snow and all.

Moving on... I re-calendered my home. So many calendars, and still so little days. According to my calculations I have seven calendars right now.. but that doesn't give me the two thousand five hundred and fifty-five days that it calculates to. Drat... now that would be a good year, with lots of accomplishments!! (Or failures, depending on what your outlook is). The important thing to remember... would be the fact that I would only age once in seven years... kind of like dog years, except the opposite. That's it! I will now start living 7 years, and age only 1 in that time. OH, now that is so cool....what woman wouldn't love this theory.. well then again, what man wouldn't want this same theory for their wives/significant others. (Men don't really count... sorry.... but the years are kinder to you gentlemen than to the ladies... baggage.... baggage... baggage......... ****grins****)

Yes, moving on..... I cooked a little roast today... speaking of time dimensions.. wish I could have done it with this one. Hmmmm.... so the thermometer compliments me and then points to "WELL DONE", and that's what I say... "Well done Deanna, you have just cooked a little roast". Now, the question is "who" will eat the "well done" roast is another story. My thought for the day... just be happy people... I actually used a piece of kitchen equipment, including two burners on the top of the stove. Really, I am over the top. It's a shame that Mr. Husbandman is not home... he and his "BOYFRIENDS" from work are busy stripping metal to give for a donation for the tsunami efforts.

I have become the purple lady of scrapbooking. I somehow have managed to acquire not one, but two purple boxes to "place my equipment" inside of... why purple... because. Some ladies where purple hats, I am the purple box lady. A dimension all to myself. I will add that it is a purple shiny box.

It has snowed here... for only moments in time really... but it has snowed. The people that are shorter (well kind of) than me, have been made happy, until their arms and legs freeze. I don't believe the boy owns a pair of boots.. I think he grew out of them last year.... and I am not sure if I replaced them. Speaking of replacing items... his snowpants are from at least 5 years ago... but I made him wear them today. "What's wrong with them... you're a stick boy, trust me, you won't be able to move anyways when you get back inside you will be so cold... this is just a pre-empt of the real thing!" Away he went... him and his scurvey ravaged body. Yes, scurvey ravaged I say... only because the other day, as only a good mother can plead.... "PLEASE BOY, YOU HAVE TO EAT SOME FORM OF FRUIT AND VEGETABLES, ....eventually.... you need colour in your life... loads of colour that will transform your humdrum self.. into something that radiates my son!!!!!!" I speak to him in a god-parting-the-clouds sort of way. He looks at me with his beautiful eyes, hesitates, then asks: "Do you think it could be scurvey?" "YES SON, YES!!, I didn't want to say anything... but truth be told, that's what it is!" I (kind of) yell. My boy now likes carrots, and oranges and apples, and is willing to try pineapple, and willingly eats bananas, and even looked at a piece of brocolli the other day. I am not certain when he will be cured... it may take a while for this one.

Wondering Chaos.

I am so glad it is snowing today. Very glad. It will settle the earth, or at least this little piece of earth that I reside in. I found that living here yesterday was chaos... whether I was the one who created it, or, it just happened upon me... I will never know. But I do know that the girl that was a complete "Queen of the Bitches", at the vet that I visited... may not have a job by the time that I am done writing a certain letter..... to whoever will read it at the vet. She was evil... she was eviler than when my two dogs are engaged in a neck to neck battle over life. That's how evil she was. Then, of course there was the lady at the picture store that couldn't figure out how I wanted my pictures laid out... she tried 2 times... and wouldn't let me touch my own pictures to show her. Odd again. Then there was the man at London Drugs... he stared at me while I showed him 2 pieces of camera equipment and shrugged my shoulders... he turned around.. and never asked if I wanted any help... I am a rather obvious help-worthy recipient. I left the camera equipment on the top of a little shelf.. I didn't bother trying to fight with the little boxes of filters back onto the hooks.... if the man would've simply helped me... they would be at home with me right now.. and not left sitting on his shelf. Of course there's the Purdy's Chocolate lady... with Purdy questions... "Would you like to buy 3 little chocolate bars instead of the 2?.......you will save 30 cents....." Me: " I don't need any more chocolate than those little bars thanks"... She continues, "well it really is a big savings.. you don't want to think about it?" I smile and tell her "It's all OK, the two little bars are fine, I don't mind spending 30 CENTS more". Of course there's the lady at the lotto booth that refused to take my $100 dollar bill... and she didn't want to use the scanner for counterfeit bills... not because the scanner didn't work, or was not plugged in... "she just didn't want to", is what she told me. I then had to go back to the Purdy's Chocolate Lady and pass off my legitimate bill to her. Last but not least, there was the camera store. A minute after I walked into this little abode... did chaos reign. The phone became an absolute god-damn nuisance, because it wouldn't stop ringing, and when it wasn't ringing it was beeping. Then there were a continuous stream of people looking for weird obscure items, asking questions about of all things... cameras, then of course there were the people that actually wanted their films processed. But then there was the little man that wouldn't leave the store because he wanted to talk to "Wayne", the fellow that was showing me crap for my camera.. and answering all my stupid non-digital camera issues. "Wow" I said... "this place is just bustling in here!" I said to the guy. Wayne the camera guy told me "It was all quiet until you walked in". Then the Visa machine broke. "It's best that I leave now" I said to Wayne. "Yes, please do... and uh, thanks for coming" he said.

One thing came out of yesterday.... I decided on a Nikkon 4100 Digital.

Happy 10th Birthday Big Boy. Double Digits forever. By the way.... what day did you get big?? 

Real or not... this was the day.

It all started so ... calm... and really, little did I know that I was walking into a zone of chaos.... but... since I need to finish my most favourite of books in 3 days.... this will all have to wait.

BUT.... onto other news... I have once again decided that the Digital Camera is back up for purchasability, much to the dismay of Mr. Giftbuyinghusbandman. Once again.... only a very smart woman knows how to handle the gift giving situation...

Speaking of gifts... the Mr. Husbandman is really enjoying the box with a lid that moves a marble around in a maze that we gave to the boy for his 10th birthday. Oak and steel... who would have figured in this day and age, it would have sufficed for a gift. (Nobody needs to know).

Must go and read a bunch of pages... this book of mine is non-renewable.

The first of the double digits
I have this boy... he is rather tallish, and funny, and musical, empathic and a thinker. He didn't start out that way... but over the last 9 years and 364 days... he has done some transforming... and tomorrow he will be into his double digits of life. I am in complete denial... he can't be... I remember him as a little guy.. doing just little things... like sitting in his crib...with his proud parents watching over him.

 

A whole new day

The trouble with sleeping at night is.. sometimes your head just hurts too much to put it on the pillow and make it stay there. It's like a dog just starved for affection... you look at them for just an instance and they are sitting on your lap. Kind of like this headache. You move for just an instant, an eyelash jitter.. and you can feel the reverberations travel throughout your skull down to the ends of your very bad crazy hair. And now it's cold. Very cold. The evil queen has taken up her usual residence on the leather couch in the den... and she has this habit of owning the whole space during the deep dark night.. .... and who am I to demand her to share it.

On top of the headache... Mr. Cleanandtidy was most disappointed that I wrote about him earlier. Very disappointed. He claimed that I didn't tell the whole story... as the story should be told.. as it was only 5:15 in the afternoon when I wrote the tall tale.... and he still had all of his evening chores to do before the day was over... and there would be another 15 details that should be added to the list of lists. Show-off.... that's what I say. NOBODY needs to know all that he does.... people may start sending him boytoys like speed boats, and fishing rods and weekend get-a-ways to fishing lodges.... just to have him come and live with them for a short spell.... this just can not happen. Besides.... he is too busy folding my laundry... which he claims to like folding... he said it is simple.... it's a case of "fold-and-stack". This would be due to the "no-rhyme-or-reason" to my closeting abilities.... it's easy on him to put things away. I told him I have gone to great lengths to keep my closet in a state of: "minimally-amount-of-work-for-him-as-possible". Seems to be working. I am no idiot when it comes to stuff like this.

By the way... this special message goes to the Pickaspats down the street....poor Mrs. Pickaspat, they got a new computer... which has been whisped away by the Mr. Pickaspat... to be fixed by a friend... I saw her today... she has a whole lot of shakes going on... from withdrawal from computer land.... I thought I saw a vision of Jerry Lee Lewis when I saw her earlier.... but then again it was cold out.

Money matters:

So, now that January has hit... so will the bills. Well, not really... that's what the invention of the debit card is....I spent everything I had until I had no more.. so if I get a bill... I will be so pissed... so pissed... like earlier today....

Right, the issue about bumping into someone's vehicle one Saturday evening while I was doing a favour for the sister... like looking after her chicklets while she had a Christmas Party at her house. Me, the wacko sister gave one of her guests a going home gift...(something like a door-prize)....but it's something that she can drive around with, show off.. to your friends and family... let's call it "one wheelwell of a prize", as in a dent above her left front wheel well. (Oh thank you 15 year old SUV). She didn't go through the insurance.. called my sister and told her the damages were at $1200.00. DOUBLE HOLY-SMOKING FREAKING FRIDGEMAGNETS !!! There was no god-damn way I was going to pay for a $1200.00 "dent" ... wouldn't couldn't.... this wouldn't be worth me working on Christmas & Boxing Day.. not good indeed. AAAhhhhh...... so that's what 3rd party liability insurance is for... I so get it now.....

Well, now I am trying to figure (on the mortgage calculator) out how "The King" is going to be free (able to go to get stuff) to build our kitchen / laundry room/ new deck out back / siding for the house / addition to the kitchen for a second family room... (taps her fingers) if only I could get my most favourite (almost) guys from that show... filmed in Ontario called "Real Reno's" to make their way out to BC... perhaps part of the problem would be solved... that would be a project would be started and completed.....not that they do that sort of thing... but they do build/renovate.... and "The King" is happy with their work... or so he appears to be when we watch the show... so that's something there..... excuse me while I go to the store and buy a scratch and win.... that's where I am about at right now. .... Must.... Keep.... Thinking.... "The King" is on such a roll....... Must... Keep...... Him.... Working.... (and not just at his day job).

Speaking of money... apparently the "cable people" would like me to pay them.... as I found a "Oh dear you must have forgotten us" letter in my magic mail basket. Best keep the cable people happy.... far be it for them to make us happy with good cable programming... perhaps that's not what I am paying for ... oh well... live and learn. While I was busy paying people on-line I decided "why not just pay everybody".... so happy January to all the people that are getting hydro bills, gas bills, telephone bill, and any other utility bills from me... happy paymenting to you all!!!

There will be no more talk of money... like I said I spent it all debiting it away in December. Now I can just write of it, or think of it... or spend magical moments planning my way for "The King" to make some good use of it. Best continue to think..

The girl was at her friends house today... and they did a play with cutouts that they made... she made this maid. 

A List of things done:

Some things that have been done around here: (the bulk of which today)

1. All of the exterior-house lights removed, all 700 bulbs.
2. A loaf of bread has been baked (thanks to the king for the breadmaker)
3. The laundry done once again... the boys bedding that is.
4. The kitchen, livingroom, hallway and been de-christmasized, or "unx-mased", if that's your thing.
5. The tree has been removed, and the tree stand disassembled.
6. The 5 boxes of Christmas ornaments and such have been neatly organized into boxes and once again into their containers.
7. The 5 rubbermaid containers have been removed and are now living in the garage for another 11 months.
8. The top drawer in the dresser in the hallway has been cleaned out to make way for "flat" christmas ornaments.
9. The livingroom windows have been washed, the whole space has been vacuumed out.
10. The livingroom tables cleaned and dusted, and furniture returned to their pre-christmas resting places and plants have re-entered the area.
11. OH, earlier a pot of coffee made, and the dishwasher filled.
12. The computer desk pulled from the wall, and cables now zap-strapped together, and a vacuum out behind all of that
13. A maze of cables plugged and unplugged to correctly install the new "SCANNER, PRINTER, COPIER" to user ability.
14. The bathroom mirror washed.
15. The house vacuumed, including the outside steps.. all two of them. (that is where the Christmas tree exited from)
16. At this moment the front hallway mat being shook out, in the front yard.

It's been a very busy day around here... I'm certainly glad that this wasn't my list of things to do today. So far this is what I have accomplished:

1. Wondered what The King was going to make for dinner.