this guy was big, beautiful and black. He was a bit put off by the girl and her bearbells. He was on his way towards us when she rode up behind him. He walked into the grassy field to the left. He was interested in going to the field on the right which has rows of blueberries. The road leads to the dyke which is bordered by the beginnings of Pitt Lake. This guy was big. 

Here's the happy family..check out the smile on her face... she looks friendly 

He's going in for a dip.. 

Here's our big buddy sneaking away from us... 

Yesterday... what about yesterday??

Some days I'm just a reader..... although I will lay low from the tortured library book event. I am still pretty scared over that book.... anyways....I realized that I have some little anecdotes that I will need to document for future reference.... for what.. I am not sure quite yet.
I took the Pipster to the dentist yesterday... she needed to have some work done on a tooth that had continued to decay despite a filling. Oh what a lucky girl she is. She loves candy. Poor girl. She rarely gets pop. Good mother. anyways... as usual the Pipster is pissed about going to the dentist... not because she's frightened.. only because it is disrupting her day, doing things that she likes to do.... I realized an intervenion would be required.. because her usual level of acceptance had dropped into negative numbers. I was frightened... I had to act fast... ah food. That is what makes this girls world rock!!! I mentioned that we would go out to her favourite restaurant after the dentist.... well, we would visit "our friends" the bears, (to let the freezing wear off a bit).. then take her out to eat. That brought an immediate smile to her face. Yae for me....I scored on this one. Off we went. .....wait, wait, wait,.... eventually the dentist emerged. He's a good guy... married, no kids yet..way too nice.. very polite... always worried if he's hurting you... he won't have a long life. Anyways... he comes out... "So.... we're done," he begins...."but she wouldn't let me freeze her mouth"....."oh, so what have you been doing in their all this time?" I ask. "We fixed her... he said shaking his head in amazement....it took a bit longer.. because it hurts doing it that way" NO KIDDING !!! I say, then kind of start to laugh... well, whatever, it was her head not mine. With prize in hand, out she comes with a big smile. "Can we go for lunch right now Mama?" she asks... "see I don't have to wait... because my mouth isn't frozen"... she says. My Pipster, my love and amazement.....
Later..... we saw bears... big big big beautiful black bears... and that was yesterday.

It's all dark....

Happiness has come over me once again. The head of hair has taken on the intense colour of medium brown.... because that is what the box says. Mind you the box says it will be permanent... that will be true... until I wash it, and I will watch all my medium brownness filter down the drain. hm. Speaking of brown....I need a load of dirt. Just one load... one big load of luxuriously deep brown fresh dirt. All I can think of is dirt. I want to spread dirt all over my places of desire. Yes, I want to smooth it across the bare patches, long stretches and little crevices. I can see it now....Patches of deep brown surrounding me and glistening as the sunlight sprinkles it's rays upon the dark masses. Slowly, every so slowly these patches of brown will begin to feel the tentacles of life pulsating through them. A slow steady current will wind it's way through, then rumble and burst upon these beautiful brown glistening masses. A shockwave of green will emerge through my masses of brown to behold... a freshly seeded lawn. I am so happy.

Maintenance

Shift your eyes to the right. See that picture with that brown mass of hair with silly highlights on top. That image is real, it doesn't look real, but it's real. I know, I'm living that reality.

I'm putting on the gloves and going in for maintenance......hopefully all the problems will have sorted themselves out in "the wash".

Thumbs up.

It's all looking good according to Dave. I am a successful "Slash A'er"... or in another form of language that I won't remember by tomorrow morning, let alone 5 minutes from now: "I am now proficient in closing an anchor tag in HTML"....

I will have to go and tell my Mr Soreback that you don't have to be all clean and tidy to have a successful day....I will tell him my success story about being a slash a'er... that'll impress the hell out of him... Mr. Noncomputersoreback man.

Well, it looks like I still haven't found anything to do with my "getting late" Sunday evening.

Sure wish I could watch a little television, I can't start another book yet, it's too soon, my pain from yesterdays final adventure is still too fresh in my head. The flashbacks are still too real and too intense....thoughts from yesterday...... my eyelids toothpicked open, my hands glued to the pages, and that little chant that kept floating through my head the whole time.. "read, read, just keep reading... a little further.. you can do it... just keep reading. Must. Read. Don't. Stop. Read till it hurts. No read further... it hurts a lot now. Must read to make the pain stop". I live my own nightmare. Must go....

what to do what to do....

Let me see.. what should I be doing right now....hmmmm. Well I could spend time with my husband.... but he's watching TV. Besides the Oldest evilist of beasts is sitting with him... she would only get annoyed. Then he would be annoyed at the fluster... and besides it's past his primetime talking moment... he has nothing left in him to speak of... it's all inside of his head.. never to come out. Never. Besides he only speaks to me on Sundays... that doesn't mean that he wants to spend time with me. Ever. (!) I could spend time with my children... that's silly... they are happily watching TV in our room. Together. Side by side. On our bed. They are both happy. I am happy. I could spend time with our youngest most silliest valium seeking behaviours dog... but she is running around outside afraid of the dark... that doesn't interest me. I am afraid of what I will step in, in the dark. Well, at any moment all hell will break loose. I will sit and wait. It won't be long. Any moment now. Tick, tick, tick. I can't even turn this computer off to go and read my awful book that I have been reading... I finished it last night. Hated it. It was boring.... but I had already read 2/3 rds of the boring book.... so I thought I best finish the last bit... to find out the ending... ho hum... the ending was as boring as the book. Sorry Mr. Author about your awfully sorry.... and here it comes..... well, people are up and moving and interrupting and dogs need in, and questions are being asked, and there's children raising voices down the hall, now the growing boy needs a sandwhich... and just as I was going to spill the beans about the good parts of the awful book... and it's author.. well have to go.....

What was that.... were you talking to me?

Today he spoke... Mr Cleanandtidy that is... Sunday is the day that he speaks to me. Today he said "Ow".
Not to be confused with statements which contain the "ow" sound such as: "I owe you a trip to the Carribean", or "How about a nice diamond ring for you", or "How about just the two of us go out?", or... I am certain this is what he meant when I heard the "ow" coming from him... "How about you just quit your job?"

I was later to find out that Mr Cleanandtidy had turned into Mr. Soreback. I do have to admit.. he cleaned and tidied first... good Mr. Soreback.

There once was a man named....Dave

That's right Dave.... it's all about you. Put a smile on your face man.... because this big important message is all for you Dave. Dave's a nice guy.... he helped me a lot. Let's recap the day....

1. One nervous breakdown...thanks Dave
2. Relearning the English language... "what the hell is he talking about?"
3. I put a bracket slash a bracket into my template.... I'm not really sure why... but Dave is really happy.
4. I found a cheering section on my blog... thanks Dave.
5. Today is a religious day.... and I got to spend a number of times saying "Cheese and Crackers got all Muddy". Once again, thanks to Dave.
6. Learned that you will go crazy if you only eat salad and dinner... with no dessert. Well, no time like the present... time to go have some peach pie. Can't have a crazy woman writing blogs. Thanks Dave.

I had a worry....

I was worried... for a short while. But when I was in the midst of the worry.. it was a rather large one. It happened while I was at work. I got the call. The information was received and processed. I sat for a moment and contemplated. I had to figure out my course of action. I had to delicately choose how I was going to cope with this situation. The Smirnoff Ice that I had in the refridgerator for myself, and only myself had been infiltrated. By my husband. What a bad bad man. My course of action had to be swift, silent and deadly. This must never happen again. I had to quickly gain access to the homestead before further attacks occured. By the time I made it home, the infiltration had stopped, and the heartburn had set in. My worries... were over.

Crown me once again....

I am a good mother....I have to continuously remind myself of that fact when I just happen to say things like...... Don't talk so loud!!!!.... that will attract your sister.... and that's like baiting a bad shark! (as she happily listens to her princess music in the den with the door closed.... always with an ear open to any kind of activity).

Today I will wear a crown with lots of jewels.

No more knock knocks...

I spoke to Mr. Kinghusbandmanwhatareyoumakingfordinner while I was still at work this evening... he said he didn't know. I gave him that. I know that he didn't know. But I do know that he would feed the 2 chicklets... and then graze on whatever he didn't know what he made for the kids... until he didn't know that he had even eaten. That's his style. I don't question it. It makes perfect logical sense for me. With that knowledge firmly pounded into my head... I made a beeline for my favourite Saturdaynightspot... will a quick click of the cell phone... I felt like Alice from the Bradybunch and her "Rice-a-roni" commercials... "ready in five minutes"... and down the freeway I went until I had entered the zone... the Osaka Sushi zone... my favourite place. I knocked knocked on his door, paid the steep price for my sushi habit, and headed home for the fix. Gave the family a fix too.. well except fraidycatboysensiblesonthatdoesn'teatthingsthatarenotstricklypastaloadedwithcheese.

g..o..t the s...h...a...k...e...s...

I'm hot and cold, I'm shivering.... my fingertips are freezing, I have a pounding headache and I can't think straight. My vision is blurred and I am nauseated.

I believe I am suffering from an acute onset of "DEBLOG". This happens when you don't write for almost two days......OMG!

Mr Fraidycat where are you?

Has anyone seen my son... he's been out playing "Facing Your Fears" with his friends... which is why he is not in front of this computer... because that game would be "Perpetuating the Passion".. the last I saw him... he was going to stand in our neighbours backyard....although he says he couldn't because there were rats, lot of rats, lots of dead rats. Funny, there are no rats in that backyard in the middle of the day while they are jumping on the trampoline....oh, he's home I can tell by the way the front door was flung open in his usual afraid of the dark panicky state.

It's confirmed then...

Well, today I finalized the fact that I was indeed unwell enough to go to work Friday and Saturday... of last week. I called someone about that.... now I will get paid for not being there. I know now that there is "no way" I could have had thought processes and been nice to people and have to do my job all in the same day... it couldn't have happened. An absolute impossibility.
People would have been perfectly petrified to have made my acquaintance. "Why is there a deman at that desktop".. they would have asked. "How come you let people with one eyebrow and they hiss work here?"
I'm all better now. The gum surgery I had was a success... it was the temporary personality transplant that was the real issue. I know that... because I looked in the mirror.. yesterday, and saw myself for the first time in a week.
I am supposed to be at work tomorrow, I wont be going tomorrow either..... I wonder what my reason for that will be ... next week, when I get around to thinking about it.

Who's that knocking on my door??

Knock knock

Whos' there?

Magic Chef..

Magic Chef Who!

Yes, it's me Magic Chef Who, I am here to make your dinner.

If only this could be true.

Good friends...

I'm a good friend...I had a friend that moved away... the only way we stay in contact with one another is with this machine. I haven't typed to her in a while... and now that the blogger world has temporarily consumed my curious self... I couldn't make room for idle chit chat.... so this is what I came up with:
I have been thinking about you.
How are your chicklets?
Tell me how old they are? Age upon return of this email?
What they are doing?
Any new pets?
How is your new home?
How are you?
How is your Mr. Husband?
How is his new job?
How are you settling in?
What did you do with your yard this year?
Any good books titles you can pass along?
How many miles have you ran?... don't include children!!
How about your first summer their.. how has that been?
Forgive my failing memory.. but where did you find a job again???
And that's a wrap...!
About me.. fine. About kids... fine, funny. About husband, fine, quiet. About dogs, fine, furry. About life, fine, fun. About school supples, done. About my bank account, none. HA! Look forward to hearing from you.

I wonder if Ishould have sent this formatted?

Ssspppssss.... sspppsss... Ya you...

I'll let you in on a little secret... my sweet little blond Pipster has just come to tell me that she is afraid of the bathroom. This would be the bathroom that is big, bright, holds the toothbrushes, is sometimes clean..... She tells me that she prefers to use the little bathroom, which is a hole in the wall, shares the room with our washtub, has no windows, we keep buckets in there, and things (mops) that can fall over and hit you on the head while sitting.... what she doesn't know... this bathroom scares me.

How much time do I really have????

It's August 25th... the time is drawing near... my days of freedom will soon be over !!! I have managed to almost get the kids ready to go back to school... just one pack of pastels and some paints and "the supplies" should be done. I have to do some deep cleaning on The Pipsters new clothes since she wears everything "right now"... and then spills on them... a lot.
Now I need to begin organizing my group that starts up again in September.....The questions that hits me now:

How much have I got to do?

Where will I find this?

I need to organize that!

Empty out how many files?

Where do I put all this paper?

Okay, what is relevent?

Why am I keeping this?

Who do I need to contact again?

Where is that phone number?

How can I organize this stuff for easier access?

Do I really want to do this today?

I have to find the what..?

When is that deadline for?

What was the question that someone asked me a month ago?

I have to return who's phone calls?

Who will be guest speaker in October?

Have I done this program before?

Will these guys hate me if I do this again?

What can I do that is different?

I have to hand out how many dozens of flyers?

First I have to get them printed.

I have to update this, but where do I find the file?

Is it really September already?

I'm scared.

Pumper trucks...

The pumper truck, for whatever reason he serves to be in the neighbourhood this morning has been busy pumping for the last half and hour. No worries about the chronic high pitched whine that we have been listening to. He will move on once he's done, however; the two idiot dogs that live behind us that have been out-doing the barking show with one another since the pumper truck has arrived will not be leaving....THEY WILL REMAIN IN THAT BACK YARD AND CONTINUOUSLY BARK UNTIL I HAVE GONE COMPLETELY NUTS. That is their mission in life... they know that someone will eventually crack because of their barking.

Well, must go to the Dr Dentist guy who will eat $1200.00 of my dollars to have moved two pieces of my gum from the roof of my mouth to the lower left part where my incisor is.... well... I must hurry to that appointment. I guess I will drive fast.... anything to get me away from the idiot dogs....

To cold to type

I am beginning to have a thought process buildup backup.

I am too cold to type. Way, way to cold.

As far as I knew we (as in BC) were allowed to have another 26 days of summer
... CAN YOU WEATHERMAKERS OUT THERE HEAR THAT !!!!
To me that would mean, that I would be allowed to be warm for another 26 days. Not a Freakin-friday-frozen-ready-to-bark-in-5 -minutes-instant-mother!

I am so cold that I have no feelings.... the girl woke up and as usual she comes to hug me... I steal her little blanket, hug her....."uuuuhhh....your squishin me...".... she says "No I'm not, I'm trying to steal your heat"....I answer. I'm seizing up just sitting here...must....find.....warmth....

All aboard !!!!

I have this song/words rattling through my head.... "Gonna Take a Sentimental Journey"... I'll have to find that piano music and see how I can massacre that song... that will cure whatever music I am humming in my head.
The day is changing as quickly as the rain is falling right now... the very busy nephew children that were coming over here, and then not and then were, and then weren't and now are again but for a shortened amount of time will be arriving at 12:15. The Pipster who was destined to be stationary will now be leaving the station at 12:50 with our friend and their first born snickadoodle daughter and her friend, her return time will be approximately 16:15. At that same time the snickadoodle son will make his way over to the station for an afternoon of playing with the very busy nephews and being comsumed by Playstation by my Supertalkingplaystationaddicted son. The Sis will be arriving back at the station at an determined time due to congestion at the homestead where we grew up. The snickadoodle son will depart to his homeland once the Pipster has made it back with the snickadoodle daughter. This should all be enough time for the conductor to have made it through the first bar of sentimental journey.....

it's a debate...

What am I going to take... drugs to take away my self-dentist-induced pain in my head.....that I am still living with after 5 days of pain-control measures.. or... should I sip on a lovely Smirnoff Ice Vodka Cooler.... and it's cold... it's sitting in my refridgerator calling to me right now...whew who in here-ear come and get me... but then so are the Tylenol Extra strength slow release eight hour tablets....."step right up lady; we are the answer to what ails you".. they do have the guarantee of eight hours of relief... not sure if my vodka ice can manage eight hours of relief... I know... maybe I'll just dip the tablets in the smifnoff ice... yes, a good compromise for a difficult debate.

Even though you didn't ask... I'm gonna tell ya..

You know what freaks me out..... little enclosed spaces... now I'm not a freak, and I can go in elevators....but you pop on the Discovery Channel and you have people exploring little holes in the ground..............aaaahhhhhh geeeees, I can't watch that... gross, god get out of their you idiot !!! That's the reaction.... I could never have been a successful cave woman... well my hair could have managed. But the rest of me.... I would have been that freaky cave lady that lived under the ..... what would I have lived under? I know I wouldnt have lived in a cave, I bet my spot for sleeping would have been at the back next to the wall.. with a long hallway that lead to where????..... I have watched shows where they explore submarines, and scuba divers that explore caves, and people that crawl through cracks to find places to explore, all of it is ewe, ewe, ewe... I watched an Alfred Hitchcock show once where this person got buried alive.. oh freak, oh freak, oh freak...... yes, oh isn't their something that happened in Africa where people were bitten by a bug... and people thought they were dead.. and they were being buried alive... gross gross gross......so the reason for this noteworthy nonsense....... it has become very cloudy here the last couple days... and this double whirly-gigged helicopters just flew overhead....so the noise found it's way down here, which sounded like the helicopter was entering through our sliding door..... which got me thinking........

Gotta bake a chocolate cake....

Hey hey in a hurry.....I just got home...and I'm going to bake a chocolate cake... not for any reason other than .....you know, to create a mess so my Mr. Cleanandtidyhusband will have something to do later... afterall he's on a roll today.... with all his tidying, washing, loading, unloading, folding, vacuuming, thinking about something for dinner at 10:00 this morning...... freakin showoff! The other thing he has done today... he's spoken to me on more than one occasion, and of his own free will. He even quizzed me on the new mop I had to buy at the P.N.E. (for the locals), and the Pacific National Exhibition in Vancouver for those not so local....( for the locals ...not to worry, you have missed nothing!), other than this supersonic new mop you could have purchased at the showmart complex.... I just love going to a "Fair" and coming home with a "mop". My biggest wonderment now is who will use the mop first....maybe that chocolate cake might have to wait just a little longer....

Thanks to you !!

Thanks to all of you for helping me out with the wacky picture...... "URL" way smarter than me when it comes to sorting out the info !!

I finally made it...

Just having a look at my handy-dandy green clock....Whew....we've been out all day, (not at work)... that means our family unit went out together... we don't do that often...because we don't believe in that motto "Nobody gets left behind"... Mr Silent and I try our damndest to leave someone somewhere... because it is a comic fest... comic fest in the fact that ....the pip hisses... then her brother hisses... then Supersilentturnedhissingman hisses... then I hiss... then it starts all over again... alright Miss Pip it's your turn.... and on and on it goes.
It's better if we forgo the pleasant family outings for a family that is pleasent. Wait a minute... I heard a pleasant family today... it went something like this.... with their babies in the strollers.... "why the fuck are you being so fucked about this... jesus, don't be a fuckin freak about this..... just don't get so fucking bent out of shape" Nice, thank you dear people for showing such constraint in public.. I admire that. (Not to say that a bunch of crap doesn't fall from my face and fingertips... but I limit my crap for audiences that may have heard it once or twice before... or if I hurt myself... I reserve the word "shhhhiiiiittttt"... because as a parent that hisses nicely.... this word can be hissed quite nicely).,..anyways... I scanned the eyebrows of both of my chicklets.... Miss Blondie Pipster didnt flinch.... therefore she didn't hear the "pleasant family people"..... now Mr Appropriateson had his eyebrows raised... a significant clearance over the forehead.... I immediately had to do a little debriefing.... "so... how would you like it if Daddy and I talked like that to one another.... hmm????"...... his blue eyes got bluer......"YES... that's what I was thinking.. don't talk like that in public.... it just sounds bad".... he agreed..... "freaks" was his comments.... and I started thinking... yes, exactly what people think of us when our hissing episodes overcome us....well, it's not that we hiss loud... it's just the chronic parental thing that happens.....now.. for another story.......or a little piece of insight ..... Mr Kingsilenthusbandathome has a "code of quiet"... he never never swears around his kids.. mainly because he barely talks... but when he is at work busy being a "Glassman"... that all changes.... I know because he told me so...(on a Sunday) he becomes one of "The boys"..... and I would have no idea what that means.
Although right now he is not following his "Code of Quiet".......all I need to say is.... Hey look...it's "Roddy the Snoreman"! AAAAAAAHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Well, must go.. because Cicely(german shepherd) the most evilest of evil queens one would ever want to know is in the laundry room drying off... and she is PISSED off that she is in their while the younger more foolish evil queen is free to sleep on the couch with the Snoreman. And you wouldn't want to piss off the evilest of queens.... she spends a lot of her evening stalking things in our home.... our necks could always be a welcome invitation....

Waiting and waiting...

It seems like forever... I have been yearning, waiting, longing .. and more waiting... it will be an eternity before it happens.. the restraint I have within me.. my strength and courage... my undying commitment to remain sane while I endure this ..... I am empowered by my own self.. and can rejoice in my fortitude and spirit...... I can do this !!!! My descendents will view me as a person with an unbreakable soul, and they will follow my path with their own vision, courage and willpower........
And I think the time has come....

that my Vanilla Diet Coke is cold and ready in the freezer.

Amusing read found from someone who found this

I found this from one of my daily reads... thought since I'm on a bit of a bear kick I thought it was a good little number......As far as I know... the only bears around here so far are blueberry eating bears... but theres always the possbility that ........
SEATTLE, Washington (Reuters) -- A black bear was found passed out at a campground in Washington state recently after guzzling down three dozen cans of a local beer, a campground worker said on Wednesday.
"We noticed a bear sleeping on the common lawn and wondered what was going on until we discovered that there were a lot of beer cans lying around," said Lisa Broxson, a worker at the Baker Lake Resort, 80 miles (129 kilometers) northeast of Seattle.
The hard-drinking bear, estimated to be about two years old, broke into campers' coolers and, using his claws and teeth to open the cans, swilled down the suds.
It turns out the bear was a bit of a beer sophisticate. He tried a mass-market Busch beer, but switched to Rainier Beer, a local ale, and stuck with it for his drinking binge.
Wildlife agents chased the bear away, but it returned the next day, said Broxson.
They set a trap using as bait some doughnuts, honey and two cans of Rainier Beer. It worked, and the bear was captured for relocation.

i'VE BEEN HEXED...

No wait it's red x'd.
Where did the ridiculous photo go that I so excitedly posted here yesterday... I did see it....now I will have to go through a consultation process with some people.. I don't know who those people are... but I know you are out there.... you blogger brains and template tweakers....you know who you are !!!! I can't stay red x'd..... the Mr silenthusband will have a field day with that one.....!
If you see the photo anywhere kicking around, can you pick it up and mail it back to me.....wait a minute....maybe I will start over again......

Guess what !!!

Guess, just guess ..... guess guess guess who I took with me to go and watch bears tonight?
Once again... YOU ARE RIGHT !!!! My Silenthusbandturnedbearwatcher came with me...and just him and I watched for bears. Except we saw a lot of deer instead... there was one bear wwwaaaayyy at the end of the trail...... but that was it for tonights little hunt. He's a good guy to take with you.... he doesn't say much... no questions... you can just quietly plod along... because the bears like to be surprised by humans.... I'm thinking he had something up his sleeve with this little ploy tonight.... alright that's it... he's never coming bear watching with me again... he tried to have me offed...... that bastard !!!!!!!!!

I forgot...

I have married a Mr. Silent..absolutely completely Mr. Silent...(well he wasn't always that silent.. I managed to get him to say "I do")...we have been married for 13 1/2 years......and every day he gets a little more quiet... and I am not certain why.

I had made a list the other day...I let my husband know that he was number 10 on "the list". So if he actually wanted to speak with me.. he better think up something because his clock was ticking. Well, he never got around to talking to me...and then wouldn't you believe it... on Tuesday he came to me .. and decided that he had all kinds of stories to tell. Then he proceeded to tell me them, and more... and it continued on... when finally when I'd had enough... I asked him what day it was.

Pardon me??? he says....then I continue.......

"Today is Tuesday... and you are speaking out of turn.. your turn was on Sunday.. and number 10 on ten the list... you were forwarned about this. I am sorry but I have to pace myself... I can't be listening to all of your stories.. especially when they are out of turn....for now on... if you would like to send me a memo, or a note of "exemption from out of turn speaking", I will consider it. Thank-you for taking the time to talk to me... but now is not the time for talking"

The Outofturntalkinghusband cracked up laughing....and walked away without comment. (Now that's a good boy... talk to you on Sunday)!!

What to do??What to do??

Todays types will be on the boring side...here's something different I will make a list...

1. My face is kind of stitched together... so I'm at a loss as to what to have for breakfast, yesterday.
2. The roof of my mouth is missing some gum... so putting things on the left side of it is out.
3. The right side of my mouth is soooo fucking sensitive...yes, fucking sensitive.. on any regular day...so I am not willing to slip something past it... because it ain't going to happen.
4. I can't have coffee. Well that's a double fuck for that one. Yes, I must write fuck.... what should I be writing... fudge..... I save that for when my kids are around.. if I use up all the fudge now... I will be low on fudge when the fuck crisis happens.... so it has to be fuck.
5. I'll have tea. I like tea. Yes, tea just gets me all revved and powered up.... I am like a top out of control.
6. I'm a liar... I will drink tea and pretend it's coffee.
7. I live in a house... I am not short for things to be accomplished around here....(as I look at my front window.....waiting for another katwonnged to happen...)
8. Ahhh.... I have been looking at some peoples blogs (well that's odd)... and I am quite impressed/envious of their fine looking specimans.... cool colors.. cool styles.. flashy things that look good together.. neat pictures.....organized sidebars...... specials links.... images that fly across the screen.... showoffs!
9. Must....make...ten....need....to.....get....to......ten......
10. Ahh.. ten... the natural obscessive compulsive that makes up little magic numbers in her head... and sticks to it. The chicklets are fed, showered, tidied... now it's just a plan to do something with them today that they will both agree on. And not kill one another in the process. .....wait a minute it's started.... the girl is now unloading her bedroom into the livingroom....she doesn't understand that a livingroom isn't for living in... it's a space in a home where you fill it up with furniture and trinkety things and then lock all the doors, and stare at it from there.... right now she is happily moving her "Happy Family Playhouse" into the livingroom... to create the biggest tornado aftermath possible... well, now I know what I will be doing....

Heeeyyyyyy!!!!

I like my clock...except that I can't get it to move down. Damn my new green clock. Is someone able to move my new green clock?
Damn the horrible feeling that I have in my head right now... I went today to have some gum grafts.. now I feel like I have road rash.... inside my head... the drugs I have taken are not doing their job. Here, put your hand on the screen... thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud thud.... that's what I'm feeling... and this isn't even a headache.

A hunting we will go !

Since I'm here.... I better click something onto this keyboard.

The Pipster and I have now taken to walking down to the end of the dyke with strangers. It's good to do that kind of stuff.... it goes totally against the grain of anything I have ever taught in her 7 years so far. I'm kind of confused myself... here's the list so far:

1. If you see a wild animal... back away; give it space...... So tonight we headed straight down to the end of the dyke where they like to sit and bath. Great.
2. Don't talk to strangers.....We immediately begin talking to a couple.
3. Don't follow strangers when they invite you to look at something. "Sure we'll come with you."
4. Stay with the group you started with...... the majority of bear watchers were leaving, and the couple that we had walked down the little roadway were still observing a bear... the girl and I took off with the big bunch.....we left the couple in the dust !
5. Stay in a large group....I picked up the pace... so that the Pip wasn't the last... the big tall whiney teenager with the stupid black hoodie over his head was last...bye bye baby!!

It was a good night... we got to see 4 bears.... there was a HUGE one way out in the blueberry fields... then there was one sitting on the dyke...and then when we were scrambling back when 2 medium fellas popped onto the roadway.. and they needed a quick nap... so the group had to stand their and wait.... problem being that the park gates get locked at 9:00... guess what time it was??? You know the outcome... because here I am.

Pingless and Katwunnged

The Pianofixerpingrepairman showed up today. He depinged the piano. He had a hard time hearing it. I had a hard time showing him it. I had to play music for the man..(I was busy singing this song in my head)....."oh please deping me, and let it go... for I can't stand to hear you ring anymore"... So now I believe I am pingless... I can still hear it... but I am not certain if that's the usual buzzing that comes from inside my head on a regular day... I'll have to wait a bit before I call him back. OH, there it goes again.... Katwonnged..... that's the sound of another bird hitting my front window since I did the hedge/bush trimming thing last week.....I better hold off washing the front window for a little while... hopefully those birds will adjust their flight paths.....I think I will put up a sign:

STAY CLEAR......THIS IS A NO FLY ZONE

So far this morning....

I read a really nice post about a dog. A dog that's gone. I am not sure what my life will be like once our dogs are gone. I'll let you in on the existance of my two evil beasts, and a ten minute window into their lives....and this goes on for ... .... how many hours in the day is there???

1. Licky wants to wake up... so she stands up in her wicker basket that is next to our bed and throws herself down. (Repeat this x 10)
2. Evil Queen knows she wants to wake up, so she sits up on her carpet at the end of our bed and stares at Licky who is doing circles in her basket.
3. Evil Queen gets bored of all this and walks down the hall. Evil Queen is getting old (almost 11), she forgets why she walked down the hall and comes back and stares at Licky.
4. Licky gets nervous and wags her tail, which hits the wall and begins to bang. So now Licky is creaky and bangy dog.
5. Evil gets bored and leaves again... oh, failed to mention the first time.. we have hardwood flooring throughout the house...she then walks into the kitchen to the sliding glass door and lets us know that SHE would like outside.
6. This upsets Licky...she stands up on our bed... off you go silly.... we say quietly before the Queen has heard us speak. Too late.. she comes back to investigate. Everything looks quiet so she leaves.
7. Mr Takecareofdogsinthemorninghusband gets up, removes the baby gate barrier and lets Licky out... she scrambles down the hall.. and stumbles upon our most favourite Evilist Queens, and then runs back to his side.. and he ushers HER, LADY LICKY out the sliding door first.
8. As usual this pisses off the Most Evilist of Queens and she lets us know that she should be out their first. "Wait your turn, don't make her nervous... because she will come back too quickly.. and then you will have to wait longer". One harumpf from Lady Evil... and she sits and waits impatiently.
9. Lady Licky comes back and like two ships that pass in the night.. the sliding door opens, one comes in and the other goes out.
10. All is well.
11. Oh really.. all is well... no, all is not well.
12. Little Miss Licky-the-Nervous is now in the house....all by herself.
13. Run run run run run run run run run run... which translates to in our hardwoooded floor... click click click click click.. or if you prefer.... tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap
14. Pause... crunch crunch crunch... (she's getting into her crumbles... that she shouldn't be doing)
15. Now she lets out a couple of fearful barks because The Evil Stalker Queen is out back watching the idiot dogs. Little Nervous Licky Feirce Girl puts her two cents in.
16. So.... it's been run run run, click click click, tap tap tap, crunch crunch crunch, bark bark bark, and now it's lick lick lick. OH, now there's thunder... that's quickened her pace.
17. The day hasn't even happened yet.

Speaking of hair...

So... I knew the day would finally come.... I would have to start writing about my hair on here. Here, I write about hair. Here it comes, about my hair. I stare at hair. Not just my own. Here, there, everywhere... I just stare at hair.
Most heads of hair match their owners. I look at people and their mop on top... ya, that's a match..... or .... nope... to high maintenance.....doesn't match.I haven't got the hair thing figured out... at all. Ever. People are never happy with what exists on the tops of their heads. But I am happy to look at it. The colour, the length, the cut, what people are capable of doing with their heads of hair.
Now, you take my head of hair. Coloured... weekly, cut... a couple of times a year, washed..... every 2nd day due to the colour issue, conditioned... same answer as washed,..treated with respect... daily, hourly, minute by minute. How can I have hair that goes so wrong??? How can I have long hair, but somehow it can't stay in a braid. How can I own crazy wavy hair.. but only when its long? If it feels like going in a "ponytail"... it doesn't look good... at all. It generally doesn't go in a ponytail... it doesn't sit right. Oh, then there's "the clip"... my hair hates the clip.. it wont go in a clip... if it does... it then revolts, and all the nice long pieces that should be spilling over creating the pretty little fountain, or flowy pieces, that's right FLOWY pieces, they all stand on end like a turkey's tail. (You know that big frothy part). Yes if I wear a clip in my head I get a turkey tail. What kind of crap luck is this? I have this head full of superstrong, wiry hair that goes limp when I put it in a frenchbraid... so that it nicely falls out everywhere... and yet I can't put my hair in a clip... none of this makes sense... I think I should send this head of hair somewhere... it needs therapy... anykind...
So this evening.. since I ran out of time... because we had to do our bearwatch... I couldn't fix this head of hair.... it went out post bike helmet head, post re-frenchbraided x 3, until the time on the clock ran out.. and I simply had to go... to remedy that problem...I put on an extra coat of lipstick. There... all better. Hair looks like shit... but the lips will stay until tomorrow afternoon.

It's 5:00 and all is well....

Well, it's kind of disorganized around here.. and hot, and I'm going to be late. So, when better to begin a quick post.... and I realize that nothing with me is too quick.

1. So... http://oneperfectday.blogspot.com/ this person was going to buy a bottle of wine for her one thousanth visitor... I will be buying myself a bottle of wine!!! Cheers Bella!
2. We went bear hunting... and found a beautiful one.... I got two pictures.... and that big sign with the AUTHORIZED VEHICLES ONLY means what exactly.... people and bikes all make their way down this little dead end road... and my guests preferred the look out your window type of tour.... nobody even knew I was their... except that beautiful bear.
3. The three of us travelled out for a bike ride... except that there are dykes that surround us... so to get a fairly good ride in.. I took them to the track at the highschool... and we all rode in circles..... I am the queen of invention. The Pip still fell... first words out of my mouth... because I am a warm and nurturing and caring parent..... "You didn't scratch your beautiful Cream Soda bike....." as I pick up her bike from the ground where she is still sitting.
4. Well... truly today was not that good deed Friday thing that I found out about a couple of weeks back.... I like to do good deeds... but today was not that day...I was standing in line, of course with the two bear watching children.. and we had already made our way through one grocery store.. (without incident, I might add)... and now we were standing in another line... when up cruises the "one item" person.... she doesn't say anything... she just keeps to my right... and fusses with her one item...and fusses .......alright...I start to make a deal in my head as to how I will let this woman go in front of me....meanwhile I am unloading my bits and pieces... and listening the bear watchers actually stand in line and be kind to one another.... that's when the "one item" lady points out that I have something at the bottom of my cart. SNAP. That's it... you just lost my kindness... yup... kindness can't be wasted on people that think you are thief..... keep waiting lady, and as a special bonus I will let you listen to my children for the duraction of my stay!!!!!
5. I have a problem... I am supposed to be at a pub with my friends in 10 minutes.... well,,,, I guess I will have to be late....

I'll tell ya...the word is....

1. Call me a moron... but I have been trying to figure out how to post a picture in my edit profile... I have been fumbling around... not knowing what I am doing.... and I still am coming up with nothing!
2. The boy had the worlds fastest haircut yesterday.... and for the first time in his years of getting his hair cut.... it is the worst.... I like it short... but this is stupidly short.... stupid woman with her stupid shears getting paid to give stupid haircuts!
3. I was able to take Miss Pips used new bike back... whew.... it was clearly built by a moron... and then bought by (???) and then returned by (?????).... and then we went to a new bike store, and bought the Lovely Screaming Mimi a brand new "Pink Cream Soda" bike... it's just a name... but it was soooo her.... and no our Screaming Mimi has something to scream about....she loves her new bike...first things out of her mouth... when are we going on a bikeride.... when ... when... when... when.....
4. I love the picture cartooning feature.... oh yes I do... now I just need a ton more pictures on disc so that I can keep up with the demand.
5. I am not sure if I hate my dogs more... or the neighbour dogs... I clearly can't determine if I really hate the fact that I have to YELL at my two dogs separately to get them to be quiet... or the fact that I have to listen to the two idiotic dogs over THERE and can't say anything to them... hate dogs.. ha....like dogs.. like dogs... (as I watch my little crazy worrywart LP sleeping away)
6. that's all..... I haven't even made it through a cup of coffee.... and there's already things that are sending me to space, mind you not in a SPACEY sort of way...it's more of a kind of high jump thing.....
7. Oh, one more.. the kids are hiding because I told them that we need to sit down at the kitchen table and do some school work.... and the only reason why.... BECAUSE I SAID SO.

GUESS WHAT I FOUND TODAY????

Guess what I found.... just guess... just guess.... just guess...

YOU ARE RIGHT !!!

I did find a singer sewing cabinet with the sewing machine inside....with the legs and the wheels, and the foot pedal..... aaaahhhh !!!! I am so in love, I am so in love, I am so in love.... that is just so cool...

Now... as far as Mr. Can'thaveanythinginmygarageunlessIfounditmyself told me.. "where are you going to put it..? I told him I was putting it in the kitchen... it is just so cool... I was pretty much floating...and I don't leave the ground to even go iceskating... he then offered to put it in his garage because it does need some work.... the flipping lid cover needs to be redone... but who cares who cares who cares.... I am in love..... with my FREE find........ here... read it again just so you can vibrate with excitement along side of me. (now that doesn't sound to good... doing a double take... but who cares... if you would kindly refer to the song I was composing yesterday...)

Miss Pip... she's always doing something... 

the thinker asks a question...

The boys question of the day....
are cherries considered berries?

Someday Sundays....

I need a list... a list just flows so much smoother.. it's gives you those little hilights of the what to do's... and it doesn't have any room for "Hey guess what you wont be doing today.. because you will be focused on your list of things you will doing...get it!"

1. I do not need to colour my hair....what's it been a week!
2. No dishes... Mr CleanandtidystayathomeonaSaturday has done that
3. Laundry.... clean.
4. Food..... there's bits and pieces.. the troops will just have to survive. Besides that coincides with number 2... and I can't have any of that...
5. I realized that I had forgotten about my flowers about an hour over their life limit and spent last evening watering everything out back... today they will dry out.
6. Ahhhh! I bought a battery for my camera... I will have to go try it out.
7. Blueberries... need some... badly... and with the threat of bears roaming through the miles of rows... I don't think I will be picking them. Maybe todays the day we dawn our danger suits....
8. I have scrapbooking issues to deal with... like plant some pictures on some pages...
9. Will have to go and investigate the local nursery.... it's the end of the season sale time.. that's a good sunday chore. Besides I might get some hugely overgrown flowers on sale that are still alive, they just look ugly... I will spend part of my day adjusting my plant pots.
10. I think today is the day that my husband and I talk to one another... at least I think this is the day.. I will have to make time for that... if I remember.. but then again.. I just made this list.. and he happens to be at the end of it.. and sometimes you don't get to the last thing on your list till the end of the day.....maybe I will talk to him tonight. He might have something to say to me....he told me last week (actually last Sunday)... as I asked the question... "Do you not have any comments to share".... his answer.... "You can't rush into this kind of stuff...... I need to pace myself, I can't do all my talking and answering your questions all at once....we are going to be married for a long long time". That's nice...

Dykelife.... and beyond this... the bears do wander 

Saturdays song goes like this.....

SING WITH ME NOW.......don't be shy.... add a little sway to it... and this is how it goes...

I so love blogger land, blogger land, blogger land....
I so love blogger land....
isn't life so grannndddd...!!.
I can write whatever I like, whatever I like, whatever I like....
I can write whatever I like...because I so like to wriiitttee..... (make it rhyme!!!!)
Now I 've takin to makin up songs, makin up songs, makin up songs....
Now I've takin to makin up songs.... now is that really wronnnnggg???...
I'm off to read more in blogger land, in blogger land, in blogger landdddd....
I'm off to read more in blogger land... because I simply can.....
I so love blogger land, blogger land, blogger land.....
I so love blogger land.....
Isn't life so GRAND !!!!

Thank you, thank you very much.
You've been a great audience.

What to do.... what to do???

I have a choice.... I could scoot on home and become a member of my little tribe for a bike ride, with the gruesome threesome. OR... I could just find something useless to do.... and miss the bike ride altogether. Now I like bikeriding.. I love it in fact... I am not sure if I would love going with the gruesome threesome....you see.....the second that we become a unit... that's when shit hits the spokes. Really. Especially a fine adventuresome bikeride, on a beautiful warm summer evening. The longer I sit here and procastinate my decision... the clock is ticking on the other end... Mr. Cleanandtidyhusband was planning on leaving fairly soon.....so I think the smart choice would be to stay put. The second I walk through that door my little velcro-monkeys will be hissing and clawing and giving me their most exciting and tragic days events at the same time..... and I wont have had time to change my shirt into my more recognizable referee's attire....someone will end up hit and stuffed animals will end up living on top of refridgerators and PS2's will have even less availability time......bedroom doors will be slammed and the velcro-monkeys will be taking up an early residence on the other side of those doors.. and Mr. Cleanandtidyhusbandsupersilentandquietman will put all the bikes away and resume his post outside in the backyard with his two evil beasts..... and I, I will have arrived home early to go on a bikeride that never was. After this uplifting anecdote I will travel the long road home..I think I will go bear hunting..... and hopefully pass the gruesome threesome out there on their travels!!!

So.. what will I find clean today..

Mr. Supercleanandtidyhusbandman is at home... with the chicklets and all their new clothes. I called home to see what kind of "things" they were up to...... he has hidden all their new clothes. I did not ask him why he had hidden the clothes.... that would be as weird as him hiding them. I am left wondering if he simply put them away.... the kids will never find them that way either. He's in cleaning mode.... I kept the call short... I didn't want to derail his train of thought.... I like being at work.... it's like I have a free maid service while I'm out !!!

The Mall

The pause that refreshes.... we went to the mall. Other regular people are at water parks, and swimming pools.. and lakes even... we go to the mall. But I can tell you something... the shorter versions of myself were actually in quite a jovial mood. I can't imagine that has something to do with fact that they are spending all of my make believe money... they don't get that kind of stuff. I eventually put a hault on the day when Mr Hungry-for-something-from-A&W wanted the supersonic meal.. me being the perfectly practical parent.... asked the A&W girl.... so how much is all of his food going to cost... "Well, with tax it will be $7.14" Thanks, but forget it.... he can have a kiddie meal.... that's a baby burger with cheese, small fries a rootbeer and a cookie... for $3.49. That sounds more like it. The Pipster only eats at one place..and has done for years.... the chinese food place.. where she can get chicken balls, sweet and sour sauce and noodles with stuff in them. With all of the other really bad food choices available to her she seems to come back to this one.. on the occasion that we visit the foodfair, and actually buy food.. not scurry past it running to get to the other end of the mall. I had no intention of buying them lunch today at the mall, nor did I have the intention of doing back to school shopping.... at all... I didn't intend on spending a great deal of time at the mall.... but the troops were happy with the temporary relief from the heat... and I was temporarily relieved by their little fits of turmoil that both of them find themselves in. They got all kinds of good stuff.. and I got a bag of cotton balls and some dish soap... and a new battery for my camera.. lucky day for me!!! Oh I lie... and, and, and.... bags for the vacuum...........I must leave to rejoice in my happiness... and throw a party so I can take pictures, clean up the dishes.. and vacuum after the guests have gone !!!! Ha!

Lookout it's the cartoon fly boy.... 

Cartoon lake children .... just wishing they were their on this fine very hot day. 

It's a bird.. it's a plane....

KWATUNGGGGG!

It's a bird............slamming into our livingroom window. That's what I get for trimming all of the shrubs out front of our house. Damn... I had to be all "Miss Fancy Scissorhands-clean-up-the-front-of-the-house"..... now I am "The Birdbrainer". NO.... I will have to call myself "The Bad-haired Birdbrainer". I too fall into the category of good hair, gone bad.... see previous post.

Hair ye Hair ye

I have been doing some research.... that would be... reading people's blog, but I'll call it research all the same. I have some concerns. You will have to stay hair to read them... are you hairing me?
Now this could all be a classic case of coincidence... but there's a alot of hair problems out there. Now I am not just talking about the ooppsss I'm havin a shitty hair day... this is downright problematic "oh no I woke up again and the hair looks shittier than yesterday problems". I thinks it's become to an epidemic porportions..... who reports this to the World Health Organization?? This is going to have an impact on our quality of life.... can you imagine the line-ups at government agents offices.... or what about customs.... or what getting your passport renewed.......big and little malls all over North America.... and gas stations.... even the Library lineups will grow....our whole work force will come to a crawling hault..... and why.. because everyone will be having bad hair days. It's the government agents I am most concerned about....they only serve about 3 people a day.... thats because other duties of their employment involves water fountain duty.. and hover and cover other peoples work space...some of the day.. then take a break.... then serve someone.. and that's the trouble.. one wrong comment by Joe Public... and it's a nervous breakdown for the employee....HOW DARE YOU STARE AT ME LIKE THAT..... I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU..... CAN'T YOU SEE
I'M HAVING A BAD HAIR DAY !!!!!
This is the trouble I am talking about.... it's only going to get worse... well except at fast food outlets across the world... they go to work everyday with a net over their head which gives them bad hair, and can still somehow manage a smile and a perky voice through their headsets..... so where are all these people now when we need them at the government agents office.

My cartoon lake.... and this is just the beginning...thanks to a little inspiration from Maggiezfarm 

fun times in a 6 x 9

What do you get when a group of hot people are left waiting for a really really long time in a waiting room to see the same person??? The room fills up with idiots and morons and sighers and huffy people and whiners, and people that want to talk about their road trip to the office... and one wonderful Grampa who is nervously rocking a 3 month old baby, who was 6 weeks premature.. and looks like a one month old.. and is getting very hungry, very fast.... but nothing takes cake other than a Frenchman that takes his seat who is a diabetic to see a Dr. with his non-english speaking wife. Now this is the freaking freakiest... shall I saying "f...g" moron you've ever seen your life.....

And I was glad to sit and witness it all !!!

First of all he comes in... speaking in french..... the reception girl says I don't understand French... he starts to yell.... then he says he needs to go get something to eat because he is a diabetic, and he needs his insulin (SOOOO, in my head I start to say to him... listen here you goddamn moron.........it's not anyones fault that you are late, and hungry and de-insulinized..... it is 10:00 in the morning.. and if you couldn't get your shit together... then don't come up here and start yelling at the reception.... did your mother never tell you to take RESPONSIBILITY for yourself.... freakin f...g fool. God!) But I only thought that.... because freak wife is muttering under her breath crashing into all the people that are whining in the room... excluding Mr Amazingly-composed Grampa... and the sweet itsy-bitsy baldy baby.----- So the fight carries on... he yells at the receptionist... eyes are darting all over the place... then the reception yells... go sit down and take a seat... you are really starting to piss me off...!!! So now the crazy man crashes past some people.... and hits an elderly with the door on the way out... the crazy wife crashes past people.. then they blast back into the place... make people move.. so they can sit down again. Now he decides to give himself an insulin shot... so of course one of the whining people start yelling... " You couldn't go do that in the bathroom..." as he sits their with his shirt up jamming an epipen into his abdoman....more yelling between the "patrons" of this 6 x 9 palace !! Then theirs an emergency meeting with the Doc's and the receptionist... the patient that was already being seen by the Dr gets booted out of the office... and these people hauled in... more yelling...... the dusts settles everyone goes back to their respective places.... well the two moronic frenchpeople... now the people in the office are standing yelling at the receptionist.. how long is this gonna take... one guy leaves... more people are coming in.....WOW... this was great...the clincher....

The girls turn is next... I have been waiting for about an hour and 30 minutes... a half hour to get to the office.. a half hour return.... so were up to 2 1/2 hours all for a .... 5 minute appointment... WOW... that is so worth it. Then I find out that he is moving his office in October... down to St Paul's Hospital.... (which takes about an hour to get to.. paying more money for parking.. if you can find parking.... then waiting in this chaos)... just to have Mr Dr. Orthopedic Surgeon say to the girl that he certainly remembers her from her extended stay in the cast clinic.... to look at her arm.. to check if it's growing.. and were done...so guess where I won't be going a year from now?

Boringboringboring and boring

Today I will take my boring self, in our 14 year old boring SUV and the Pip (who has suddenly turned boring... only temporarily), to the boring orthopedic surgeon that fixed her very boring broken arm back in boring March. Then I will have to be witness to a very boring conversation between the boring surgeon and his boring resident, who will recite the boring case of the boring broken ulna and snapped radial head of a 6 year old boring female. They will take boring measurements of her boring range of motion, and will comment on her boring lack of flexion to the shoulder. Which will bring about the boring conversation as to whether I took her to a boring physiotherapist who hungrily ate up my cash flow to visit and talk with my boring daughter for fifteen boring minutes. I can't wait for rush of boring details to abound me today. HA !

Dont fear those out their... I am not in a funk...... I am just in awe of other people lives... and the excitement that unfolds for them each day.... today I want to be an Olympic Athlete... that would be so unboring.

Actually this little surgeon man will remember my Pip... he always does.. he was so frightened by her... that the day we went to the "cast clinic".... he sicked his resident on us.... and wished him luck..... only to run in and out of the room... that's it.... she turned a 10 minute visit into a 5 1/2 tour..... what's not to remember about the crazy blond child...... Ha ha........

Pause a moment to thank the Big Guy upstairs.

I would like to thank who ever I need to send my thanks to in giving me/us the good sense to stop at creating two children. First of all Miss Pip should have come first, and secondly she should have been an only child. I mean, she ultimately believes she is an only child, with a slightly older short-haired male version that takes up her space when she wants it. With Afraid-of-the-dark boy who is away visiting at the moment... the Pip's personality has changed. She's reasonable, approachable, non-confrontational, cooperative, helpful, a pleasure to talk to, even tempered, a little lady with manners and polite. ALL RIGHT, WHO STOLE MY CHILD.... WHO EVER HAS HER.. CAN KEEP HER.... I LIKE THIS LITTLE GIRL.
I am not certain how long this sweetness-invasion will continue to possess this needy blond child... but it can stay as long as it takes... I am enjoying this little holiday.
Some things I got accomplished earlier.................

1. Paid bills on the computer
2. Renewed my library books on the computer
3. Recharged my telephone on the computer
4. Talked to some friends on the computer
5. Won a million dollars on the computer
6. Lied about number 5 on the computer

I had a fight with "Melanie" today. "Melanie" is the automated voice girl for my cell phone. I pissed "Melanie" off so bad today she put me on hold.... forever... then came back in her sickly-sweet- grenedine voice and told me that nobody was available to help me. Does this sound bad: I was sitting in my 14 year old SUV, with the windows opn... yelling "GIVE ME A HUMAN, I JUST WANT A HUMAN TO TALK TO.. I CAN'T TALK TO MELANIE... BECAUSE SHE CAN'T ANSWER MY QUESTIONS..... GIVE ME A HUMAN.... , GIVE ME A FREAKING HUMAN TO TALK TO!!!!" that was me in the parking lot of Ikea.... so I decided that I would have to take this phone call inside the store.... that way I would have to beg and plead for a human to come on the line and I wouldn't have a heart attack/stroke in the parking lot trying to get "Melanie" to take me off of hold. I am way more civilized in front of other people; who wouldn't hesitate to call 911 and point and scream that there's a crazy woman in Ikea.

You know... there's so many days I write about Pip and her personality... I have no idea where she gets it from............???

And the day started off with silence...

Still have that headache.. more of a neckache.. won't spend much time here... maybe I'll leave the transposed letters... always looking for an effect...... that'll be fun.
Kind of nervous... it's just the crazy blond girl and me... the house is very silent... except for her morning shows that she likes to watch... (shows that have (evil) high pitched voice overs for characters...) I don't have to wear a referree shirt... or in the girls case, wear a white T-shirt and sway to and fro when her world starts to implode, or a cross around my neck, or carry a peace sign in my pocket to flash at her.... I'm thinking that the queen of the castle is rejoicing in her aloneness. I am certain though, that if I do not go along with misconceptions of what HER day will turn out like... I could be shredded.. she is rather cat like.... and I am her favourite couch.

ouch

I have a super sonic impossibly inhumane gargantuan tremendously huge freakin beyond belief to the moon and past it then back again gigantic HEAD ACHE. Yes, I do.

I did something totally weird today.... I carried a big big umbrella around in the boiling heat. Yes some of YOU BC'ers will laugh... and laugh heartily... because yes, I admit I used a big big umbrella in the boiling heat. Why........ for no reason now..... see the above comment... which is what I was trying to avoid... by using the big big umbrella.

We went to the Vancouver Zoo.... where I know it was hot.. and I just don't do hats... hats make my hair flat..........I'd rather carry a big big umbrella... you stand out that way... some people even told me that I was smart... I don't know.... instant shade.... I think one lady really wanted to take it, (her eyes were pretty bugged out.. and her hands were reaching their way over).... and a cover for your head when you watch the birds of prey show.. and they swoop practically right on your head......

Weirdness counts in this world....more people will talk about the crazy lady with the big big umbrella than the lady with the pink backpack... (me as well)... but I had to icepacks sitting right at the back of it.... so it was a refreshing carrying device....

That's it for me... more stories to type....but can't.. I will go and find my peppermint stick to roll on my neck... and then of course go and find some drugs.... my next motto in life is definitely "living better through pharmaceuticals" : ) : )

Save-on-Daughters

You know I have been looking at Maggiezfarm the last couple of days... I like her pictures of her sunrises and sunsets. Magical, mysterious, magnificent... and I am thinking that I need to send my 7 year-old-princess-doll-Pipster-way-to-mouthy-and-not-yet-learning-that-she-needs-to-be-polite-at-all-times to go and have a little sebaticle at Maggiezfarm. Besides Miss Pip looked at the pictures.. and she quite liked them. She asked me if we could take some pictures similar to those..... it didn't take me long to get me thinking..... Would you like to go their sweet heart... for a little nice vacation... would ya... I know you would... off you go now... where all the colours are pretty... sweet little girl..... SO THAT YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THE NONE STOP ASKING FOR THINGS EVERY TIME WE LEAVE THE HOUSE.... you have a good time at Maggiezfarm.. don't forget to take lots of pictures... and don't worry about your plane ticket home... I will eventually get around to purchasing it... really little princess.... well maybe little princess.... I hope to get around to it... that's if I write it down or something.... or, if one of your friends asked why you haven't returned from your extended vacation.... or........maybe if daddy wonders why your room has remained clean for an extended period of time... like a week or two.... and this is how the story started....
The girl is going to a scrapbooking adventure which she is quite excited about. I bought her a disposable camera so she could scrapbook up some of her "Pip Pic's"...... things were good the first time we went to save-on-foods as we dropped the film off... but then later on... we needed to pick the film up... which required standing at checkout counters... with many many things to be bought... or in the pips case to be drooled over and enticed by. WE had a couple other grocery items to pick up... and then she starts.... can I have this, can I have this, can I have this, what about this, what about this, what about this.. I like this, I like this, I like this, I like this........I give her her pictures... I point, go stand over their.. hopefully someone will take you.............and off she goes. I take my bags, my Mr Archie-comic son and one demon home. From the back seat, she begins to hiss about things... whatever is on her mind... and that's when she was hit with a piece of my mind..... unfair fight.. too bad so sad.. I'm the Mommy. (at this point my philosphy for her was you get what you give.... and I gave it to her... thankfully that shut her up). Until it came to dinner.....once again... the demon approached the table dressed as a Pipster... very quickly the demon was commanded to leave the table to go to it's room... to come back as the Pipster. Eventually the Pip emerged from her littly tidy haven called a bedroom..... and I decided that I liked her again.... we both decided to go bear watching. Good show tonight... spotted a MaMa with her two cubs..... cool, cool, cool. You know, come to think of it... how do mother bears tell their youngster to hit the road.. don't they just kind of roar at them... and scare them off a bit..... similar to my tactics of the day.... so now I own a demon-bear????? ha ha ha !

If everyone's page could sit on Blogs of Note.....

I found this on someones site.... she will be added to my sidebar..... anyone that can spread these words of wisdom need to be put in side bars.... like I wrote... if people could just sit in blog's of note for a day... can you imagine the impact?

What is that?

It's quite late at night as I gaze at this screen
Taking a quick tour of my favourite blogs that are green...
My friend finds me awake, and we chat for a little online
We eventually agree that it really should be someones bedtime.
As I reach for my mouse to say good night....
I hear a small sound... which gave me a small fright..
What is that sound I say as I strain to hear...
Will it happen again, is it from far or is it near...
It certainly isn't the snoring that come in waves from down the hall...
It seems to be coming from just the other side of this wall....
With an imagination as big as the sky
Thoughts of weird creatures make their way past my eyes..
I blink my eyes hard, and shake those images from my head..
It is really late, and I should really go to bed.
I wait for the sound to happen again,
My eyes spot the clock and now it's 2:10
Enough is enough, this is the end of that sound
No more sitting a waiting, no more horsing around.
Finally it comes to me, I know what I am hearing....
It's LP, our german shepherd, in her wicker basket she is stirring.
With a quick click of the mouse, to disconnect and say bye.
Now I will go, and get some shut eye.

Always looking for something...

I am, right now..(self-imposed).... supposed to putting together a very powerful resume. Clearly that doesn't interest me... in the slighest... at all......what I should be doing is plucking my way through the thesaurus pulling out words that might describe who I am, my accomplishments, intriguing eye catching words that would make these people (aka the employer) feel like they have been missing out... for a real long time... but no... I am here... checking out my green bloggers of the world list... and looking for ways to make changes... to my blog... not to my person or my resume. I know myself... (because I have looked in the mirror a couple of times... ) and I will get up tomorrow morning and begin to throw words all over my current resume.... print and print and print... Oh, of course I will hiss and swear and his and swear, and probably slam some paper around, drink way too much coffee... be interrupted 39 times..and go to the bathroom twice... all of these tactics will work... after all, I am working with a computer... so, on that note... I will continue on my peaceful meandurings of blogging entertainment.. to await the torture that I will put myself through tomorrow morning....no side smile included with this one.

oh no...

A couple of points from the day:

1. The girl has decided that her bathing suit is her active wear. Should I be frightened by that?
2. My children both now have those spinning toothbrushes (fresh out of the cereal boxes) that clean their teeth all sparkly and smooth..... now I can stare at their sweet little smiles and actually be happy at looking at their teeth, not the leftover yellowy junk from last weeks pizza party.... eeeeewwwwwwweeeeeeeeee !!!!
3. My hair is the same colour today.... once again I have coloured it with fade resistant permanent colour..... I wonder if this box is going to be another lying liar cardboard smiling liar girl with a different hair product plastered on her head.... will be able to tell you tomorrow.... that's if I feeling like washing my hair... it might be nice to have the same hair colour for two days in row..... something about that consistancy thing that I can't seem to get over.
4. The girls bedroom is clean... and I had nothing to do with it... how many side smiles can I fit on this page anyways.... :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
5. I have another tomato that is ripening... I am wondering if I will get to it, before the evil queen Cicely the tomato eating dog sniffs it out and eats it. She has eaten all of them so far. That would be the reason why I quit growing cucumbers, strawberries and zuchinni. I think the actual problem here is that she doesn't know that she's a dog... and "Dog's eat dog food".... she doesn't know that. I have to admit... the corn on the cob hasn't peaked her interest. Oh, but of course the pumpkins are kind of neat... just when you have lost all of the tennis balls in the yard.. she can wander over and pick herself a new ball.
6. I see the girl making her way home from her friends house... I will have to go.... I am sure she will need to be driven to see the bears.... I can just hear her now.....

OH... I forgot something....

Last week I was going to clean the girls room. I never accomplished that task.... similar to climbing mountain everest... something that you don't just jump into, or take lightly.. there is much preparation for this kind of adventure. Sponsors and support systems need to be in place, determining your climbing course, preparing your climbing team and fine tuning plans. I had not completed all these tasks prior to the date of clean-up, hence the operation was shut down. Gladly to be taken over by:
Mr husbandcleanuptheroonanddoareallyreallygoodjobrightdowntothebitterend.
Once again, I am glad to be at work today... where nobody knows where I am. ....
I feel that beautiful side smile sneaking up again !! :) :) :) :) :)

I am not getting it...

The blogger world just doesn't remember me... every time I sign in... I hit the "remember me" button which prooves to be useless. It doesn't know I exist... then..... While I am at work, the second I walk away.... "is Deanna here"?? I HAVE BEEN HERE ALL DAY !!!!! I am always here... here I am here I am here I am.... hopefully someone or something will remember.
But, what I do know is that my cleaning friends wont be coming over tomorrow... only because Mr Superkitchencleaninghomecleaningtidymanhusband has been home for the last two days... so that little 1350 square foot house of mine will sparkle. I like being at work, where nobody knows I'm here... yes, that brings a side smile to my face really fast :) :) :) :)

I dislike the Superstore except....

AAAHHH !!!!! I just so much dislike the Superstore... I like to call it the Stupidstore... it's stupid. And don't worry about investigating that accusation... it's all true. EXCEPT... when you run into a long-lost friend.. and then stand and talk to her for one and a half hours in an isle. Then it's not so stupid... it's a Longlost Store. The whole reason I spied her was the fact that I couldn't stand looking through racks of kids sale clothes... I can't stand that kind of stuff... so I decided to go and look for some scrapbooking junk... that's when I spied this girl with even brown coloured hair that was nicely parted on the sides.. and that's when we looked at one another... and it was al over for that isle for a while !!! I am so glad she commented about how I hadn't changed...(well she was wearing glasses.. so I will cut her some slack.. after all.. I do have the rainbow effect happening on my hair again, hence the reason I was admiring her one-coloured deep brown hair)... and I know I didn't have the rainbow-effect when I last saw her !!! Seeing her made my day!!!! But then again.. winning the $29 million from the lotto 649 would make me happier...... so for the time being she has made my day...

A day at the beach..

My sister tells me to be ready at 0915 SHARP. There's no pissing around with the sis... she's doing the driving... so we better be ready.. that is until we get the phone call from the time announcer.. that she will be late. CRAP!!!! I was right on the moola with the whole time constraint.. I had the two people ready and raring to go... stuff packed.. and she is already screwing with the plans.. without further delay we make it to the beach.. it is really cloudy afterall.... great day to spend at the beach... and it's nice and windy to boot. Even more special. "Can I borrow you Parka???" I asked the Late-Sis. An unevenful day... I like those kinds... no blood, no guts.. no stories to come home with...... other than I was insistant that I wanted to watch the tide come in ... it is kind of freaky to be caught out on the sandbars as the tide comes in... kind of "Chitty-Chitty Bang-bangish"... only in real life !!!! anyways... the Late-sis youngest boys decides he needs to go the bathroom... I decide that I will go with him since I was practically going to pee my pants myself....well that only took three hours too long.. we get back.. when did the tide come in????... I ask...so, now we are cleaning up from our excursion... that's nice... I realize... I guess I put on that sunscreen a little bit too late..... I didn't' think I had that much sun... apparently I did... glad I put it on when I did... today at work.. people were asking me where I had been... (It's been very cloudy here for the past 5 days.... so it's clear to me that nobody knows about our secret beach.....)... as I radiate today under the flourescent lights... what a pretty sight!!!! Even the Pip managed to contain herself yesterday... well that was until we got home.. and had to shower and bathe the beastly child and apply thirteen dozen different creams and lotions and powders for all of her week-long-acquired-ailments... I even managed to shampoo her wack of sea-smelling hair. Yesterday was a good day...

Dont fall off your seats....

I want to know how it is that you can be late for work... when all you have to do is get yourself to work... that's it.. no making lunches, doing hair of blond Pipsters.. no waking up very tired boys, no putting in a load of laundry before you go off to work... no dropping off children somewhere to be looked after for the day... why is it that you can't get yourself to work on time??? Just a curiosity of mine.. it doesn't matter really...nobody notices if I'm not their on time anyways.. they will notice eventually when they have to start doing my work....this post is dedicated to LUJZA.

Me! Are you talking about me???!!!!

I can't believe it's Friday... where did yesterday go... I didn't write anything... which does not equate to "I didn't have anything to say."... because that just wouldn't happen to me. I have lots to say, lots to report... I just didn't FEEL like it. If you don't FEEL the moment, it just doesn't happen...
what I felt like doing was being a Lounge Lizard. Yes, say it again... Lounge Lizard.. let those l's roll off your tongue.. and feel what it would be like to sitting back in a comfortable suit, drinking a grenedine stained umbrella drink, eyes criss-crossing across the bar, watching the comings and goings of the people around you... all the while.. listening to hit songs from the days before you were born. Yes, that was the persona that I took on last evening.... playing my digital piano (with earphones). Yes, just me and my Reader's Digest Book of Big Hits....you know, I sounded great... because the only one hearing it was me... similar to singing in the shower...I even took requests from my imaginary audience.... "aaaawwww... look at the happy couple... this song goes out to them"..... Smoke Get's In Your Eyes... bumbled from my fingertips......" everyone look over their.. check out that smile".... as Mona Lisa burped it's way onto the keyboard......I livened up the group with my "Midnight Special" which is crusing along just nicely.. and writing of crusing...... "Cruising Down the River".. managed to make a half-assed appearance across the keyboard as well. Not to be outdone by Sir Elton John and his Candle in the Wind.............so a little glimpse into my life..... until our friends came along around 10:00 last night and delivered me and Mr Cleankitchen-husband-man some VANILLA COKE (DIET FOR ME.. MORE CHEMICALS FOR ME... I MIGHT LIVE LONGER !!!!). Oh how I love Vanilla Diet Coke from the woman who is drinking a Extra Hard Cider Pineapple-Guava flavour at this exact moment !!!! So, just to keep my blogging friends happy (Lujza), I will write another post. Stay tuned... for those that care to stay tuned (Lujza).

Humpty Dumpty is still broken, but I'm not !

The little green blog sat on the computer screen

The little green blog was erased and would never be seen

With all the queens brain cells, and her infinate ways

She managed to put her blog back together in one day.

type type type type type type type

lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick stop it lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick stop it lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick STOP IT lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick STOP IT lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick

STOP IT ! STOP IT ! STOP IT! STOP IT!

Freaking dogs,

licking her paws,

If I didn't love her so much,

I would really hate dogs.



And that's my thought for the day.

It's not a nightmare, it's a ............

BLOGMARE !!!!!
Today is the day that it rained down on me
Little did I know it would bring me no glee,
For today is the day that I thought the rain would be good
To keep our world green, and that it would.....
Today is the day that on a whim
I pressed a key which made me quite grim
Today is the day that with all my finessing
Left me with lots of green, and a whole lot of guessing
Today is the day that I lost my gadgets, buttons and lists
Where will I retrieve them, who will I remember and who will I miss??
Today is the day that a fright made a dare......
To turn my regular day into a living blogmare.

Get on with it!!!!!!

I have no patience... I have none... not sure why.. I just don't have any... I've been through this before.. won't write about it again...anyways....
I am reading my "favourites" list.... my private little stash of bloggy things to read about... and people don't post.. how can you not post... for many many days... now I am kind of crazy over this. Not kind of... there's no half-way with me.... it's all the way baby !!!! I love to read peoples thoughts, their doings, their inner selves exposed to a world where the colours pink and blush have no meaning here !!!!! I am a people watcher... therefore I am a reader... and I want to read !!!! People give me something to read !!!! Oh, and of course thank you to those that give me something to read.... you know... because I have left you a comment.... !!!!!
So... back to the business of the day... Miss Pipster and I took two trips down to "Bear Alley"... we saw some huge one walking out in the blueberry fields... and then I drove down the "authorized vehicles only" lane.. and showed her the incident spot... (and to see if we could salvage any left over skin... she's lacking still....) then I showed her where the bears were... she said she was glad I made her hurry in all her screamingness... !!!! WE went back later tonight.. and then cruised some little dead end streets way up on the mountain.. and sure enough... just take a guess what popped out of the bushes... just guess.. really.. guess........ A BEAR. So we cruise down the hill quietly... and she once again wanted to sit up on the roof through the sunroof... crazy kid... we get up nice and close ... and the little guy is just standing their.. eating berries... enjoying an evening snack... when he realizes we are there... he high-tales it back into the bushes. Once again.. it was great seeing another bear !!!!
Believe it or not, we live in a subdivision... which is close to the base of a mountain, that is attached to many dykes.. and agricultural land reserve, and acres of blueberry farms, which is right next to the dykes.. which is right next to miles and miles of wilderness.. hence the bear issue. I love it.. wouldn't change it.... except of course one night when ONE made their way into my front yard and stole my apples.... not nice... !!!

My thought of the day... keep clicking till it hurts, eventually you will become numb.

Would a hammer and a bandaid really help???

Today so far there is nothing to write about. Even the weather is easy to figure out. It's raining. And it's sunny. It all makes sense.
The girl is loaded with Polysporin in numerous locations. I have managed to deny access to the bandage box in an effort to have her remain in a moveable state. Otherwise she would have so many bandaids wrapped around her I would be calling her "Mommy". She does have one bandaid on... in fact she has a strip attached to her that I can't remove... I am actually wondering, how long does a bandaid stick before it unsticks... luckily it isn't covering the part of her arm (outer layer of skin) this is actually missing. That is where their is a bandaid... covering what isn't their anyways. That location doesnt have polysporin. Antibiotic ointment their... only because I couldn't get any of the dirt off from the "splat-attack where bears stare" took place.

WE were doing their school work this morning.... the Pip managed to do some... or should that be "sum"... kind of impressed,"little-miss-impossible" was quite happy to sit and learn some numbers...The boy on the other hand.... I'm trying to get him to learn his times tables... so how many times will I need to ask him the same question before he remembers.....because I have asked him close 357 trillion times his two times tables... and the lightbulb is still just kind of flickering......BUT ....you let that boy hear someones "accent" for a split second, or quote a punch line from a joke that you heard 13 days ago... and he's got it all going on. I think it's getting close to hammer time. Ha!

This is the bravest little girl in the world ! 

Today was scarey afterall:

So, my ambition for the day was to clean the Pip's room. This isn't just a room... it's a trap, a jungle, a mecca of intricate designs & sticky of trickery consisting of barbies & little things... and more little pieces that go with the little things, then of course their's her other "stuff".
Cleaning her home requires patience, know-how, drive, willingness, obsessive-compulsive behaviours, 13 garbage bags, a good memory and an organized brain. The pipster doesn't possess any of these qualities. NONE, can't find them anywhere..... they're not even lost in her room.
Instead of cleaning on this beautiful day, the girl and I ventured out for a bikeride... (I can live with that room like that for a couple more hours). Everything was happening along fine.... well except the fact that we rode to far... kind of into bear territory... but I didn't want to go back... through the bear territory either... hmmm... anyways... we were just turning the corner, and found pavement... when the Pipster flies through the air... and then skids down a little hill. SCREAM ! Scream, scream, scream.................. shit I would have been screaming too. I pull out my nice and wet washcloth... and the water bottle, and the bandaids... I was going to start piecing the girl back together. ... Pip... get on your bike and ride little lady.... there's bears.... a mama and two babies... just ride little girl.... and THEN I STARTED TALKING REALLY REALLY LOUD... AND KEPT ON TALKING AND TALKING.. AND WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYONE TODAY.. DON'T THEY KNOW IT'S SUNDAY... AND PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS AROUND HERE ON SUNDAYS..........that girl is amazing... battered and bloodied and hurt... and we just kept going.. she wasn't willing to stop... anywhere.... well, until we were just about up the a corner... when out walked another bear... shit again... we got off our bikes.. and walked backwards.....we made it down to someones driveway and stood their. In the distance I could see more bikeriders.....there were three of them... a woman, her daughter... and a guy.... "you might want to wait for a minute... there's a bear just at the edge of the ditch".... the mom and girl stop... the guy keeps riding.... he slows then turns around... did you say a bear.... "Thanks for putting on those listening ears" I said to him... kind of rude.. but I was kind of still in a tizzy from our encounter just five minutes before. The five of us stopped their, a car had been sitting at the side of the road...he had put his hazards on... finally he left... we all proceeded together as a group. The guy offered to go first... and I'll have to admit.. not a talkative bunch... idiots! The mother rode ahead of her daughter... and yet I rode behind mine.... (my theory being that I COULD SEE if the girl turned into bearbait... not just hear the after-effects!).... I kept on talking.... and talking... they remained silent.. Nice... real nice people.. nothing like SNEAKING UP ON A BEAR !!!!!.........anyways, I am still typing so you know the and of the story... but do you........ way later on... after Pip had had a chance to put 5 washclothes all over her wounds to let them rinse.. and one bandaid (and I am not certain how I will be getting it off)... to cover her roadrash... we DROVE back to the park. Again, we managed to spot another bear wander across the road... and this time Pip sat up on top of truck's sunroof... and watched it eat blueberries. Fun stuff... glad we can talk about it.

Today is a scary day...

I am not feeling good today... I am very frightened... there is tension in my fingertips.. I keep passing hot thru cold.... then I sigh. This is the day... that I have been dreading for some weeks, and I knew it was coming... I kept waiting and watching, and watching and waiting... every day I knew it was one day closer. Why does this day have to be here... can't we just skip at it... and move on to tomorrow.. I wont miss today... I have nervous ripped from my head to my toes... even my hair is nervous... because it has a very different wave in it today. I have pangs of dread coming up through my stomach.... just to swallow them down... so they can come back up again. This dread has been growing for some weeks... and it is here upon me today.... this is the day....
THAT I CLEAN THE GIRLS ROOM.