"It's the stalkers fault"

That is what I said to the Pip when she fell into the bleachers yesterday at gymnastics.

I somehow managed to score a seat at the top of the bleachers, which enables you to lean against the wall, and you get a view of your very own Olympic Gymnastics Princess. Well some are gymnists, and some are just like my Pip. Things could be worse:

I was just happily knitting up a storm while perched upon the top bleacher. Things were going well, I could see, I could lean, I could knit (as per the stalker sisters request). The only thing I couldn't do was keep a good eye on the Pip as she sat in front of me. I am not certain how it happened, due to the fact that I was furiously knitting... but this is what I recall from my birds eye view. I believe that the Pip decided to wait for her gymnastics and sat on the bleachers. I could see her blond head bobbling in the space in front of me... but somehow in a Pippish fashion, and three knits later... I see Pips feet high in the air, exactly where her head should have been. "WOA... Pip, what's going on down there?" I call down to her. The little lady gymnist Pipster had somehow managed not to give herself a brain injury as her hands are touching the ground beneath the bleachers, and her blond mass of hair was dangling above her. That was the exact moment that I looked up from my knitting to see her painted toes wiggling about in the air. Luckily, a very attentive non-knitting spectator saved the Pip from further disaster and pulled her up from the depths of the bleachers. Lucky for Pip that some people don't come to the Olympic Gymnist gym with craft projects.

Someone like me..

Last evening the sister called and decided that we needed to do some useless tasks... (shock, gasp, slap!). I twinged a bit, but thought it was best that I did, afterall I wouldn't be showing my true faith to scrapbooking if I didn't at least go and help the poor stalker sister out, and besides... who knows what her wrath would have been otherwise. I knew that I would have to put down my books for the evening... because that thought was gone.

WE walked in the front doors of the CRAFTSTORE and immediately the stalker sister spots some "funny fur" and picks up a couple of balls and tells me to knit her a scarf. (She prefaced that announcement with the statement: You read too much, here, let's get you back on a knittying hobby). Not long after that the two of us were standing in the doorway discussing colours and amounts of funny fur, when two things happened.... someone called out my name, and I met someone like me.

Yes, it's Bizarre.

The person that was "somone like me" gave us directions as to the amount of funny fur to buy, and size of needles to use, said a couple of funny things to the two us of, and then wished the two of us luck, and walked away. I said to my stalker sister.... she was kind of funny.

Very shortly after that I met my "real life friend turned blog buddy because life is all too consuming" and talked with her for a few moments. I would link her, but finding the right button is complicated when I am scurrying through the morning routine.... sorry L.! Anyways... her life stories along with my life comments always make us end up in stitches..... she disappeared quickly because as usual she was throwing in tasks between tasks...

The stalker sister and I continued around the CRAFTSTORE... and found stuff. I was ever so happy because I managed to not fondle any item in the store or became attached to any item, therefore letting my sizzling Mastercard sit in my bright pink wallet.

We left and went to Pier One where the sister bought herself a birthday present with the gift card that I gave her birthday. She bought herself a nice gift, I have such nice taste! he he he

On the way back to the car a black jeep starts propelling itself around the parking lot and winds up right next to us. It's the woman like me from the CRAFTSTORE..... she is scrambling in her jeep to get something and tells us in the same breath that she isn't a stalker but she needs to show us her scarves and pulls out her needles to show us. Right there in the shadows of the parking lot were three scarves that were in the making perched upon her needles. She was quite excited to tell us all about her adventures in knitting. This is when I realized that I had just met someone just like me.... well, of course with the exception that she claims not to be a stalker, and that name is reserved the sister as well...... but seeing that we are related, it all seems to go. I of course then had to tell the woman the name of my sister.. as in stalker sister... that sent the woman into fits of laughter.. . and away she went, buzzing along in her black jeep with balls of funny fur attached to her 8 mm knitting needles.


I asked my stalker sister how long it would take for me to turn into that woman... and the stalker sister told me: "You are already there".

Some things just scare me...

Like the guy that was travelling along the side of the highway, walking on top of the cement median/divider. Mind you we used to lead our lovely but evil german shepherd Cicely... she marched proudly on top of the cement divider.... conquering the wall that divided the ditch that ran along the other side, or (at the time) a quiet roadway. We didn't ask her to do it... she marched herself up the oneside, and down the other. It would have been a scarey sight had she decided to march herself on top of the cement divider along the highway ..... perhaps this person I saw today was a dog in another life.

Other scary moments:....

While at the dentist, things were running along smoothly. But somewhere along the way the gloves were removed, and then the fine (???) dentist moved from my mouth, to another consult, then back to my mouth. I never heard the gloves snap, or the taps turned once. I am wondering if I should really be afraid, or just remain paranoid.

I asked the Pip to clean up her room. Actually this doesn'tqualify as scarey, this is what nightmares are made of.

I thought that the Mastercard people were going to deny my card... it made some bold purchases today... and the plastic trackers might have thought that my card could have sprung a leak somewhere.

I have come to the conclusion that I should have some form of organizer for my scrapbooking supplies. The purple boxes are not going to cut the amounts of supplies that I have gathered. The larger scary thought is , I have not been doing some regular scrapbooking.. so I am having a build up of supplies... which sometimes is the same thing that my husband complains about, except he doesn't scrapbook.

Aaaaahhh. .. November 1st

The start of the Christmas season. I barely have my pumpkins in my composter and my bats and spiders folded... and now I must start hunting for the prettiest of christmas cards.

And there are other things:

Since there is a change in time, it is certain that all things must change. There is that temporary annoyance that breakfast consists of candy. Some people have coffee, some take tea, some add loads of sugar to their hot beverages ... or some people (long blond hair, silly, and in grade 3....) just decide to bulk up on the sugar content, and get it over with for the day. It's not a bad deal, all the cravings are dealt with before 8 o'clock in the morning. Which now leaves me in the position of fixing the crash that will happen at 10:30... while I am not around.

November is the month which doesn't really exist to me either, it's almost like a magical dissapearing month. Oh the days happen as they normally do... but I tell you ... I will be writing the same story this time next month... and I will be wondering what happened to the month of November. I will refer to this blog... and be frightened by the blank, blank, blank.. on the entries.

I best go get the girls meaty hands away from her candy bag... or she will be able to fly herself to school. I do not fear... once her candy is gone, it's gone. I won't have to worry about it any longer... well, her brother might fear her.. but at least I wont! HA!

Hoping...

I am hoping that the group today will be intact after we have our meeting today. I am planning on wearing a revealing costume that will amuse the folks greatly, and divulge my true self... something that I have been lying about for a great long time.. and will continue to profess to.. as I much despise this very thing...... and once again.. the true reason why the Husbandman will not build me a new and fancy kitchen... because I do not need it.

Alright, and the revealing number is ... a krinkley apron with this saying:

Apparently the biggest day of the year...

If you are a candy lover.

Pip has been waiting for this "the greatest day of all" to arrive for a while now. She loves this whole "let's get dressed up and walk up to strangers doors for a smidgeon of candy". It's her thing, and she takes great pride in seeing how well she can do it.

And... because I rank highly in the kitchen of favourites.... I sent a lov ely package of reduced fat oreos for the big party in her class today. I am very kind. I saw other mothers walking with wrapped items, made with love, care and perfect ingredients. But, I have to say, I also have witnessed what children do to the items that have been made with great attention to detail, and warm and loving thoughts... we all know that they reach that magic round bin in the sky. So, I believe that I saved myself the time, fretting and anguish over a couple of non-decorated cookies.... enjoy people.

Happy Halloween

The Five People You Meet in Heaven. by Mitch Albom

I learned something....

But I do not know what.

I went off to camera class today. One of those "learn everything in a day" kind of courses. I may have learned a bunch of stuff, I just want to know where I filed all the information. I immediately went out post class, and started pointing and shooting my Canon Rebel FILM camera all over the place, and metered everything from here to the moon. I am not certain what I may or may not have accomplished... but I do know that my little digital gave me instant results... so now I will have to wait to see the screwups once I get the pictures back.

Everyday is a good day....

But some things make it better.

It's lovely to hear that Miss Pippy is actually thriving, enjoying, focusing, and working in her very classroom... for the whole day. It is actually lovely to hear these words. Before the strike both of her lovely teachers were a bit perplexed by the Pip, but she has seemed to fallen right into step. I believe the Autumn Festivus ((for you Seinfeld lover's out there)), (AKA Teacher's Strike) was a great growing experiment for Lady Pipster. Something wonderful happened while teacher's were out walking picket lines.

Since we are doing happy family things this is something that she has put together... and only a blond Pip would know the reason.



Oh, and on a sidebar note.... if anyone get's that circulating joke about the BLONDSTAR roadside assistance.... my girl would benefit from such a service, really and seriously... I witnessed it today.. she too was "locked" inside the vehicle, while she was still inside, as I stood on the outside of the vehicle .... I kid you not. That joke is based on fact, it just has to be.

The stalker sister...

I should be very afraid, well actually .... I am. The stalker sister is back at it again. I am out walking with my lady friends through the streets of our fair city... and the sister is able to cruise up next to me, and ask me where I am off to. I carry my phone at all times.. just in case she wants to get a hold of me, and that way I will not have to hear the wrath of the sister stalker if she is unable to get a hold of me, when I am free and should be available. I believe I fear my own blood.

Notes of the day....

The happy silly Ellpee is still eating her crumbles, and behaving normally.... with the exception that she has a bunch of chicken bones inside of her. Of course that still worries me.

I am one sock short, as it decided to take a ride inside the vacuum, but didn't quite make it there, as it is now stuck in the hose. Out damn sock, out!

The fancying chore that I did last week to Pip's gymnastic outfit, needed to be repeated today. I had to re-iron on her pretty flowers for her plain pink outfit... just so it was pretty to wear. They had all fallen off in the wash... todays steaming event I am sure has cemented the flowers forever.

It's a good thing that I vacuumed (before the sock sucking incident) and washed floors... because that way when the wreath flew from the top of the mirrored night table and crash landed to the floor, it was clear to me where the rose petals crash landed. They also did a fine job in creating a whole new reason why I need to fix that freaking vacuum.

Hurry up.

I should win the mother of the year award. I deserve it. Mind you, I do not have to work hard at my thought processes. They are naturally odd, and raise even the sparsest of eyebrows. This morning was no different.

I decided that there were too many eggs in the fridge. I slapped the non stick pan onto the top of the stove, and started frying eggs. Three eggs for the girl, and three eggs for the boy. I threw the first eggs in, and cooked them to perfection. I know this because the Pip smiled when I delivered her surprise breakfast. The boy on the other hand is a different story. He's pokey. Double pokey. Actually, annoyingly pokey. I had cooked his eggs to just the right temp, and then kept the pan warm so he could enjoy his eggs as much as his sister enjoyed hers. I guess that works if you are not the King of Pokiness. By the time he got to his eggs they were a warm mass that reminded me of a pancake. He settled himself to the table, with the paper in front of him. and his mass of eggs. I then told him there was no time for consulting with the world leaders.. he needed to eat his eggs NOW, and to save time with all the dithering about with knives and forks... "just eat them with your hands", I told him. I am not exactly sure why I told him to eat with his hands, plus in this house we do have forks. But the important thing was that he went with it.... ate his eggs, then we laughed about it after. I am still wondering about my thought process.

The dog did what?

So the lovely and silly Little Pup, otherwise known as L.P., or written in a wordy fashion... ELLPEE managed a very daring feat earlier this evening. She decided that her crumbles were not going to make her happy, and since we had gone out for a short while she was going to dig through the garbage can (that resides in the little bathroom with the door shut) and find some tasty leftovers. Oh, her lucky day was today... she managed to chew a left-over chicken carcas. Mr. Husbandman came home and found the plastic container that it was wrapped in, but that was it. This dog has always been a little off on her short term memory... and I can say that she lacked insight on this latest adventure. Alright, not that there is an insight assessment for dogs that one can deliver, it's just troubling time and time again at all the stupid things she manages to do. Perhaps she has end of life issues, I did find a knife in her favourite kennel the other day... that she picked up and carried, and then sat on. I am hoping that the result will not be her lacking in life.

I believe this calls for a double dose of the Vitamin B Complexes, well, actually I better double up on all the vitamins today... and I'll wash it down with some rum.... there, that might relieve some stress.

The weather and world of the hour

Yay!... I was able to capture "a fish out of water"... climbing up the ladder


Here's the happiest kid in the world...the youngest of nephews, with the Pipster in the background. The third child is just someone, not anyone of ours... although you can never be too sure.Some blue skies from earlier in the week. You have to love blue skies in the fall.

The Queen of Papers

My wonderful mother often complains of the state of her in home office. She swears that papers emerge from no where, of course when her back is turned. I feel her pain. It has happened to me. The unravelling paper troll emerged in my homestead earlier this morning, and as I continued to work on "JUNK", the papers ended up all over the kitchen. I have looked around at my paper problem and am now deciding on how much of a recycler vs paper stasher I really am. I do know one thing, I am the Queen when it comes to paper, and more paper.

No luck...

I have had no luck looking for shows with no names... but I did have some luck capturing these shots the other day.

What's going on...

As of right now I would like to congratulate myself on a job well done. I am not sure how much it had to do with me, but I will take the whole credit for this.

BOTH OF THE CHICKLETS ARE IN BED... AND IT'S BEFORE 10:00.

I AM AMAZING...... at least I think I am.

Other things that are happening as of right now...

1. A fresh loaf of multigrain is about to emerge at any moment from the breadmaker.
2. A fresh stick of Dentyne has just being chewed to smitherine's. I love fresh gum.
3. I am going to watch some show that I do not have a clue who's in it, the title of the show, or any other facts pertinent to fascinating details.... although I believe that I am going to love it.
4. I am not reading my book, or any books at the moment. That will all continue tomorrow.
5. So will the gambling habit... he he he he he he he

Dancing in the Dark by Mary Jane Clark. A cast of characters.. almost too many to keep track of.

Almost the last day

It might be the last day of the non-scheduled holiday/autumn festivities. We celebrated the almost going back to school by going on a field trip. We went to see the fish that are busy spawning at the moment.... and I am wondering..... where the heck are the trillions of people that should be flocking this space... hmmmmmm... where are they I say?

I've been reclassified.

I am thinking that I lack direction in life, other than option A = wife, mother, homeowner. ((Raw Raw -- it's all good!!.... and did bring this on myself with the assistance from the husbandman) It also seems that higher eduation seems further and further out of reach for me due to my absolute inability to specialize in one specific field, nor believe that spending thousands dollars more will enable me to reach my very simple goal of helping others, which may not have the result of huge financial gain, because as we know, we do not work for money, we work because we love what we do, which is partly right.. but I also would like to be paid.. sorry people........ on those thoughts ... I have had to reclassify my existance.

This has come easily to me, in fact.. almost overnight I have turned into a BOOKBITCH. Really and seriously. I know this.. because someone referred to me as such. Deanna the Bookbitch. I have taken my new role quite seriously.. and feel it a dubious honour to carry such a title.

Be careful out there... it could be me snatching the very last book out from the shelves just as your fingertips grasp the magnetic covers..... do not fear .. it is just me .. the BOOKBITCH.

Somedays you just connect....

This very day I magically created some math work for the chicklets. The Chicklets eagerly devoured their pieces of paper with great skill and excitement. I was most impressed. I believe it had something to do with the fact that the other day I hissed and hissed and hissed like the queen of all hissing snakes at them about their appalling attitudes towards being asked to do 10 minutes worth of math work while the teachers are busy confronting the government. Funny, today I didn't get that same reaction. They both managed to find pencils and erasers and set to work... after a little while, and a while after that. Eventually I saw success. I had the boy drill himself on his multiplication facts with the random numbers I wrote on the page. The girl was asked to add up the same numbers on the page and pretend that the times symbol was actually and addition symbol, but it too was getting lazy and was laying on it's side. Even more to my excitement was the fact that the Pippy recognized the numbers that she had written backwards, and instead of correcting the lovely and well written backwards numbers I had her circle them, just to draw attention to the fact that these were well backwards written numbers. It also excited me to note that the boy has developed a short cut technique to knowing his times tables.. which simply tells me he is computing.. and that's all I want.

if only...

The gardener guys could just keep going. They are happily cutting the grass of the crazy lady next door, and are cutting the front four feet of my lawn, as they always do. If only they could keep going, and do my whole lawn today... it would make temporarily happy, unitl next week, when it needs to be cut again.

If only.... the lovely silly brain damaged dog knew that when I told her to turn around on her towel that she knew I meant to turn around and wipe her feet. The lovely and evil now dead and gone Cicely knew this very command, and always performed it when requested. I have to admit, she thought it was some form of wierd joke and Raa-Roo'd (the raa-roo came from when she was just a little pup with her little pup bark, and when she wanted something she would say raa-roo... so we continued on with the raa-roo commmand, and she kept it all her life) the whole time she did it... so I sometimes would make her do it twice... just because when she was done turning around twice on her mat she would punch out with her paw, then slam her body down on the towel. Lucky me, she was really dry after that extra trick.

If only.... I had the luck that my mother had the other night while we were at the casino, although... I do not think that it was my mother actually touching the buttons while we were there. Apparently my Dad had this amazing ability to walk up to a machine, and touch a button and would watch the money fall out of it. On Monday it would have been my parents 47th wedding anniversary. My lovely mother had made mention earlier in the day that she thought that she should go play a slot machine, because her and my dad did visit them occasionally, and it was close to a year since they had visited one together. So, being the good and dutiful daughter that I am told her we should go. If I didn't see my lovely mother with my own eyes, I could have swore it was my Dad sitting next to me. Every bill that got sent into a machine came back out three times richer. Not big huge jackpot winnings, but little bits bigger than what went in the first place. I, on the other hand had no luck at all, which is why I sat and watched her play.... for the longest of times... THE LONGEST.... I say...

In other cat and mouse adventures:

We had a visitor the other night. It seems that all of our days going visiting, has warranted a at home visit for us. He was lovely. The big dark silent type, he wasn't much of a couch potato either, he came for only a short while, and seemed always to be on the move. Although I have to admit his fare was a little to be desired, and even though we set nothing out for him, he appeared to enjoy the sport of looking for something to eat. Eventually he left, and made his was down across to the neighbours, hoping for some tasty treats along the way. He had little to say, and didn't say thanks for the visit, but I just love it when Mr. Black Bear appears on our front lawn.

Now that I am done....

Feeling like I have been hit over the head with a cast-iron frying pan, I am once again able to engage in life. Very exciting for me. This whole being hit with the cast-iron frying pan leaves me with every single cell in the body feeling depleted of strength, energy and a thought process. All of them are back now, in full force. Oh, and it has quit raining. Double pleasant. It's onward and upward from here.

Is that wacked or wrecked?

I'm back, although I was never gone.

But I did feel like I was missing, but not out of place.

People, love your vitamins.

Really.

And I used to complain....

That the evil beast Cicely was truely evil. But she is dead and gone, and someone needs to take over. I have rose to the challenge.

This very morning I was just hunting along some websites and found "oh my gosh!" some math websites, that had actual questions, that I could actually print out. It brought a smile as big as my face could handle.... and because I am truely evil... I have politely given each one of the chicklets their very own math booklet this morning. I expect them to finish it. Luckily, acting as my reinforcer is the husbandman, as he is home because he is having difficulty standing.. because of his back issue has got the best of him... I must go... as the house will begin to roar with thunder, which might make all this typing very difficult.

This is not what it is doing right now. Although, while it was busy doing this the week before last I did have my trusty digital with me...it's a good thing...

The weather today is as grey and rainy as it can get, so by the time the rain stops falling, all of these lovely leaves will be scattered across the ground and turned to mush, which doesn't make much of an impressionable image.

The bears usually hang out in the trees to the left of this colourful one.. I am not sure what they are eating, but they seem to have smiles on their lovely black faces doing it. Well, at least I think I see smiles on their faces!

There's something missing....

AAAhh... Monday morning, the start of a whole new week. Everyone back into the routine of daily life, or not. It is closing in the on the 7:45 hour... and not a soul has risen, except the for the man that goes to make the money during the week, and his beloved furry friend that watches him leave every morning, and me... the almost non-weekday working typing person. That leaves the chicklets.. which, on any given weekday morning should be up and busying themselves getting ready for school... but alas today we still have that little government bullying situation, and the teachers are not backing down.. so for the moment, the chicklets are still busy sleeping, and I am typing... and that makes me happy.. I think. Oh, and the whole home schooling thing... I think maybe I will trade my kids for some workable ones that live someplace else... my very own are not workable...they are readable and artable, but not teachable. Someone else needs to do that...

Alright then....

I have a plan, although small and not too well thought out.. it is still a plan. I am going to pass along the book with letters that help Pip to reverse her reverse letter ways, to my mother.. and Pip will visit her tomorrow while I am at my group. Pip will want to show my mom all the amazing things that she can do... so I will send along the book that will help Pip put her letters back in the right spots... at least for one day. I am hopeful over this little plan.. she certainly wouldn't perform for me... it is best that I train the little monkey in someone elses care... it should work... I am hoping it will work.... I need the girl to learn...as the government is still acting as bullies to a rather large body of people called teachers.... so until the government stops behaving badly... there will be no teachers for the little chicklets. I am alright with this... although it is apparantley illegal... but you have to stand up to bullies, otherwise they continue to bully you... and others. Someone has to take a stand.... because although someone else tried.. the forgiving union people caved, which is why the teachers are now in the ring of fire.. doing exactly what the other union tried to do a couple of years ago.

IN the meantime... it's summertime in the fall for the kids! HOORAY!... well kind of.

ON this day..

What does the day tell you when socks fall out of a fully loaded dryer... and they match, except that they are not yours? It is a warning I think. The traffic lights change to green as you approach them, although the karma almost fails as the jogger clad in grey running gear suddenly appears in the rear view mirror. At Starbucks you are handed the loveliest of pumpkin scones with the perfect amount of fresh frosting that you can get. While at work... the phone just sits, void of noise and annoying questions from strangers.

And to think that I was frightened by the noiseless children in the livingroom last night... I am even more scared of the day that is happening all around me at the moment.

Too good to be true.

It's about to blow.. I just know it is. Yes, me with little faith.. in the silence of children that is. The girl has joined the boy in the livingroom, and they are drawing together.... in silence. It is scaring me... I am not sure which one is going to slash who first. The longer the silence continues.. the more frightening it gets. The silence is killing me.

Darjeeling by Bharti Kirchner

Once again.. my Pip

Today while we were out we had to guess the amount of smarties in a jar. Pip's blond guess was z0,000 smarties. Yes, zo,ooo. Then she left her phone number, so they could call her and tell her when her guess had won. Apparently they will be calling into space to reach her, at that telephone number. I am not certain if the numbers made sense to her, but they were quite foreign to me. Practically everything was backwards. Luckily I was given a booklet on letter reversal before the teacher's went out on strike... now if I can get her to actually use it would be the bonus. Poor Pip, she is definitely the type: "If you don't use it, then you will lose it". I will wish myself luck in getting to do her numbers and letters for the next week.... I could have a wildcat on my hands.

The King continues...

I was quite woried the past number of weeks. The work on the lovely shed had slowed to a snail's pace due to the inclement weather. I was quite worried that the shed would sit... unfinished for the rest of the fall and winter, and would turn into a spring project. As of this moment I am thrilled with the work effort put in by the King... he has dismantled the shelves from the garage, and has re-assembled them in the shed. What a lovely boy... if I was a good and kind wife I would probably make him a nice dinner, instead of asking him what is for dinner.

The Pipster.

The Pip is in the most happiest of moods, as today was the kick off of The Chocolate Festival that is happening around our town. So it was just me and the Pip traveling about doing chocolatey things. It started off this morning with a Chocolate Chip pancake breakfast and crafts. We also made a pit stop to the library, and went to an Art Fair from the local painters... very highly community minded. There was also a tour of a chocolate factory which we attended, and although we didn't get any samples throughout the tour, we got to fill a bag full of milk chocolate snowmen at the end. I had to watch and see how people were filling their bags... all polite and a limited amount, or just shoving in as many as the tiny bag could hold. Even though I paid five bucks each to take the tour, I just didn't feel right cramming my bag to the rim... although some people didn't mind at all. Later, since it was just the two of us, we made it to the craft store to get some shiney trinkets for her new "plain and boring" gymnastics outfit, and we had a trip to the mall. I also had to drive around the mountain where the mansions are... just so she could see some very big spiral stair cases. Pip will need to find some lovely rich husband to keep her floating in her life.... she's all about fluff, frills and the fine things that life can bring.

As for the moment:

The summer vacation continues for the chicklets as they are not in school because of the teacher's strike. This almost isn't about "teachers" but about elected governments that are behaving like bullies. Enough is enough. Meanwhile:...... back in chickletville.

I am ever so happy that school hasn't been in this week. It hasn't taken but a moment to kill the bedtime routine, and trust me... the throat got slashed on that one. The boy has taken to begin his organizing and tidying... at around the midnight hour. The girl reads herself just about to sleep, and then turns out her light just before the 11 oclock news.... I am hoping that I get a heads up when they are supposed to go back to school... as I will have to retrain them to go to bed at night.

Onto bigger and better.... there is a lovely loaf of multigrain bread sitting on the counter... fresh from the breadmaker... that I managed to drop while I was heaving it from it's container.. it should be quare and little in a couple of hours. I made a splendid dinner this evening.... the husbandman would not agree, so I had to make up some compliments all by myself, and then tell him what I think he should have said. I am so efficient that way.

OH.. and CSI is on... can not type any longer knowing that NICK is going unviewed by my eyes. Yes, NICK is lovely.. he must be watched... he commands people to watch him....

The feast and the King

I will stop writing/fantasizing about wanting a new kitchen,for me, it's all about the look. I have had it spelled out to me that I do not require one. As luck would have it, the King just happens to need a kitchen, so I am thinking that I will get a new kitchen floor to at least wash.

We had a little feast the other day, for the Canadian version of Thanksgiving. I was allowed in the kitchen for all of 15 minutes before I was asked to leave. I did accomplish the task of making a strawberry spinach salad. I was just about to embark upon preparing my next dish when I was cut short. The King spoke and commanded that I leave HIS kitchen. "What about my dish that I want to make?" I asked him. "You are far to messy for me, and have to leave.. I have real things to accomplish" he said to me.

A while later I was on the phone with my lovely mother... and she had said that my aunt hoped that The King wasn't going to a great deal of trouble to have them all over. I told the King that.. and he said the "great deal of trouble" would have been if we would have let Deanna in the kitchen.

I have a small secret to share... when we first got married I decided to change the tune of time, (after yers of watching/assisting my mother) and declared stupidity in the kitchen... luckily the husbandman was listening, and decided that his fate was left in my hands.. so he took the job upon himself to create the cuisine that was partial to his pallat... and he has never stopped. This includes clean-up as well. The King is beyond organized and tidy while cooking his kitchen. It scares me. I will never know his secret.. since I do not spend a great deal of time there.

Have a good summer!

That's what I said to our school friends in June. From there we toodled off for a vacation and adventures to places and things to who and what knows where. Last Friday it was holiday time all over again. As we left for the Thanksgiving Day longweekend, we were made aware that come Tuesday, there would be no school. I'm OK with that. For the moment we are having a little impromtu holiday/break from regular scheduled school life. The rain will be arriving this afternoon... and the holiday to hell will begin as the troops get restless within these little walls closing in around them. Hopefully I have a plan of attack in place....

The Boy has started a novel. I have read the first page of dialogue and it curiously mimics real life in our little 1365 square foot home. I love the title of the book... "From atop a Haybale". Written by the nonfarmer boy. I will be seeking a publisher for him... very quickly, of course after I can get him to capitalize things like names, and not descriptive words like "he had Green Eyes".... and other small issues such as that.

The lovely Pipster on the otherhand is a whole different game. She did have a clean room last night until the stapler fell to her floor, and hit the barbie village that she had set up. Of course at that point she kicked the barbies around and created a little bit of barbie hell in her bedroom. This morning we have a whole new Pip and a whole new bedroom. I only await what is in store for me.

I will continue to document the nonscheduled summer holiday via my digital camera.... for what reason I do not know. Probably because I can.

The King has come home.

Mr. Husbandman busied himself with cleaning yesterday.. and all his efforts were directed at the stove and oven. When I arrived at home last evening, all the lights were out, except for the over head light above the stove. It sparkled and glistened in the light. I think I even saw him spit shine it once as he walked past it later in the evening. Clearly this is good reason to not use the icon that sits parked in the kitchen. I will vow never to use it again... unless under strict supervision by the master cleaner.

Soccer suckers

As I was busy transporting myself to work this morning I saw many people out and about on the roads. I did see a rather disgusting sight though. Like people unloading their soccer bags from trunks of cars, and others already standing on a soccer field with goalie nets already set up. It is 7:20 in the morning people, and it's not summer, so it's kind of dark way out there on the soccer field. There is something seriously wrong with the sights that I see.... or people are so in love with soccer.... they don't realize this kind of early morning antics really suck.

Wonder dog?

Eye this picture carefully. It took a great deal of coaxing to get this shot. Here's the lovely little freaky german shepherd girl Ellpee hiding from the crows. Little Ellpee was frightened by the black moving specs on the lawn. She eventually moved from behind the deck chairs, to behind the wood pile (out of picture but to the right)... where she was still hidden from their view.

Somethings make me happy.

To keep everyone's heads intact and souls alive I had to down a couple of Vitamin B Complexes. It was for everyone's safety, perhaps even my own. My hair had just been wrong all day, and the lovely socks were all soft but twisted, so that was difficult to deal with for endless hours. My moment of sanity was eating my Mandarin Chicken Salad, but that was short lived. It was not until later on in the day when I had a conversation with someone else that I realised they were in greater need of their very own mega jar of vitamin B complex. I had brought my jar along to offer her up a few thousand milligrams, but I am not sure if that would have done the trick. She was definitely in need of a long acting vitamin B complex regime. It was nothing that Starbuck's would cure in 30 minutes or less, or a mind blowing grocery shopping trip. But we did laugh lots and decided that it was not safe to go grocery shopping where we could actually use carts to ram things, instead of storing things. My level of irritation has receded a bit... but I believe that I could use another hit of Vitamin B to hopefully bring me back to earth. At this moment in time.. I am wishing her luck on her side of the jungle.

Little Miss High Maintenance...

I am not talking the Pipster either. As always in the morning it's a hustle to get the chicklets connected to shoes, and backpacks and then through the front door. Don't ask me why, it's just a challenge. Actually each and every day it's basically an ironman to get things organized for these two. As I stuffed their lunch kits with boring "mean mother" things I added some soup for the little lady Pipster's lunch. As I was leaving I put the pot with it's remains in the sink..... because the furry four legged freaky thing was left to run about and worry herself over nothing while I was out. When I returned home Little Miss Ellpee slowly made her way up to the front door.. and then ran and sat in an odd spot in the kitchen. This generally means that there is something that has stolen and taken inside her little kennel. "Oh well... look what we have here.... an empty pot of soup", I say to the little terrified german shepherd. She wagged her tail very cautiously. I checked the floor, the counter, and her pillow in her kennel for spills... and only saw a slight staining on the pillow. She's a freak... a pot stealing, hearty chicken soup stealing little freak.

Skinny Dip by Carl Hiaasen. Late last night I tried to finish this book... and then fell asleep, but then starting reading it again until four in the morning.

In other adventures:

It has been an adventure just getting on this page.... my computer world has slowed the past couple of days... I am not sure why... perhaps it is the rain.

I will not act too boldly and try for another picture.... I am happy just to have this one.

Of course there have been slight adventures to speak of... this will have to do for now.

I missed this....

I was looking for good shots of the fog this morning on our way to school... and it seems that I missed a very good shot of something else. I am thankful that one of the Debbies is very particular about her driveway, and it must be kept nice and black... because I think we would have totally missed this, if she didn't have such an obsession. It will be bone chilling to also add that she had know idea they were there... because the prints made there way up the


passenger side of the vehicle....

Thanks for stalking by!!

Those are the words that I now say to the sis.... all the time. Although I am feeling a bit down and out as I am not the only one she stalks.... she stalks our mother as well. Plus she has got our aunt in the gig as well. I am glad the sister stalked me tonight.. because she reminded me that I was going to take the Pipster to her cousins birthday party.... I have no actual paper invitation to act as a reminder, I will blame it on that. As a bonus... I will stop by and pick up the cake for the sister stalker.... and collect the Airmiles while doing so... it's bonus days tomorrow.

Onto bigger and better...

These are the colourful adventures that I witnessed today with the Pip.. and I have to say, there is not an abundance of these wonderful colours around here, so I take them when I can get them. The trees we have here are these dullish brown colours.. although you don't get to see them equipped with a black bear perched on the top of each limb, like this one.

It's a beautiful morning...

I love the morning after a stormy night. The sun breaks through the clouds and the rays of sunshine shoot down onto the fading green leaves of the trees where they glisten and dance in the morning sun. The clouds loom precariously above us, with the threat of sunshine and rain all at the same time. The air is crisp and fresh and exhilerating to inhale. It is a beautiful day to walk the kids to school in the morning air and feel the freshness upon your face. In theory it all sounds great, but I drove the chicklets today.... oh well.

Other beautiful things that happened this morning:

1. I have had a stiff neck, as in actual spine area for the past two days now. Must have been my enemies shaking the shit out of me after I wrote that blog a couple of days ago. Hmm.
2. The lovely blond Pipster dressed herself this morning. For School. On time. Amazing. This will all change by tomorrow... just like the weather forecast.
3. The boy grew about a foot last night while he was sleeping, or while I wasn't looking ...either way he is catching up to me.
4. I think my stalker sister is doing other things.... she is not here at the moment, although I feel her vibe around, but things could change... she might just be driving throught the Tim Horton's drive-through right now.

Some smallish things...

I am very glad to be hiding out in this fortress of healthcare this weekend. I only have one reason though....and I am hoping that it is a good one. Mr. Husbandman spoke of cleaning out little lady Pipsters bedroom. An amazing thought really. He is quite methodical about these certain adventures.. so I may come home to a different home, or not.

Oh,.. and the other smallish thing. One of my stroke group people hissed at me and then told me to step down from my job as the coordinator for this group. She told me I was negligent in not arranging transportation for people in my group. I have to admit, I am not sure how many times that you have to fax, refax, and fax some more and then call the company every other day to ensure the information has made it to the right hands. Because you know, sending the information to right person doesn't exactly work, does it? She was right, I was negligent. I did not personally hunt down and find the person that does group bookings for people and wrap my hands around their neck and shake the shit out of them to get them to do their job. Yes, I have been negligent on that part.

IN other smallish things... another book in the works... I'm only on Chapter Four... and it is already too funny. I am hoping it stays that way.

Quite the adventure.... a highly unbelievable adventure... but fun.

This has got to be fast...

I am back on the marathon book event... and am two thirds through this book. Anything that I say now will have to be in some sort of short version.. if there is such a thing with me. I might as well give up now, and continue with the book. I'll be back after the last page is done. Until then... I'm collecting stories and imaginative thoughts. Be scared.. I know I would be.

Pardon me...

But is that a duck in your truck?

Today I had the lovely quest of my annual bird in a box routine. For those who have been with me for a really long time (brave souls) will remember that last year I had the great challenge of catching a seagull.. and had to yell at an "old lady" to STOP THAT BIRD... in an effort for the successful capture. Today, luckily, I had my trusty sidekick and box wielding assistant with me for the complete duck capture.

I am not sure how these things find me. They just do. I have to say, I am happy that I came across this duck when I did... otherwise it would have been a dead duck beneath my white truck. It was just standing there... looking kind of duckishly stupid. I immediately hissed that I wasn't going to get sucked into the bird in the box routine again. My trusty assistant Max (my mother) told me that I had to help the duck, that's why it was standing next to my white truck. Next words out of my mouth... .... Alright, Fuck! I marched into Costco, took two boxes, and marched back out to the parking lot. The duck was still waiting. Luckily two guys were cruising along and wondering why I had a duck out of the box in the parking lot. They thought it was my pet. Yes.. it goes with my white truck I said. I like things that match. (HA) It tried to make a get away, by running... as it looked like it's wings were kind of clipped... but it couldn't quite manage to fly.. or so I thought. My trusty assistant wanted to know what I was going to do with the duck. I had a plan. The guys left wondered what I was going to do with it.., and wished me good luck with my new duck.... and I packaged it into my truck. I drove over to the Plant Store, where right next to property was a guy who had lots of birds and things with feathers. I asked the store clerk if she knew his number.... which I then gave him a call. Alfonso found his way over to the plantstores parking lot, where I presented him with the big brown box with one duck inside of it. He reached inside.... and in his lovely seemingly Italian accent hissed... "DEES DUCK CAN FLY!" as he reached in and grabbed the duck by the wings and shook it a bit... he walked off with the box in one hand, and the flying duck in the other.

No more duck in my white truck.

What tomorrow brings:

I already know tomorrow will bring fresh sheets. That is a must for tomorrow. Just to make it hurt a little more... they are going to be fresh off the line, from the lovely fall air. I. CAN'T. WAIT.

In more freshness.. the colour will be restored to the quad coloured hair don't I have happening at this moment. Problem... I have had a number of people tell me they like my new colour. Nice.. the lovely faded colour that I am sporting... well really, it's nothing... I live in a dark world.

In other bouts of fresh colour.... I have let the King (kind of) pick his own colours for the shed/country cottage. He should have it all prettied up for a colour photo by tomorrow. We had a colourful discussion this morning. I am not sure if I am positive about the colour yet on the colour scheme for the new country home. It doesn't matter... I won't be living there, he will be, and he needs to happy.

I will hopefully have a non-colourful conversation with the company that transports my members to and from my club for me on Mondays. I think they forgot to open their doors for business this morning. Everybody that rides the system was MIA for my group.

Things that happen...

So, should you consider yourself a complete loser when you, and only you are the only person that is online when all of the people on your MSN (instant messenger) are not? It is a question that I am pondering to myself at this very moment. I will justify that thought with a response... I am not feeling compelled to listen to bad music right now... or more like I am not wanting to go and sit at the piano and practice my songs... they are just too far from sounding good.. and I need them to sound good for tomorrow. Desperate times call for desparate measures... AVOIDANCE.

In other things that happen while my back is turned... the completion of a little shed.. window boxes, windows, and scroll work. All we need now is colour... which will be happening this week. Oh, and of course the planting of fall flowers in the window boxes.. and that would be my job, so Mr. Mastercraftsman has bestowed that petty chore to me, or so it seems. I will take this daunting task and run with it.

thinking one oh one

I have had to make a couple of mental notes to myself, although I am running out of mental space.. and soon will be needing to carry around cue cards for every hour on the hour... just so I know what I should be doing... it's very challenging. Here's a small list of what I have so far:

1. I have changed my clocks to real time again.. since I believe that I do live in real time, and not just Deanna world.. and it just gets time consuming to always be computing the real time minus 7 minutes.
2. I have bumped up the vitamin intake.. I believe I am slightly stupider than I was last month...although at this moment it could just be an internal server error... but I can not take any more chances.
3. I have to remember to go to work tomorrow.. as I worked an extra day yesterday.. and I am only programmed to going to work for 3 days in a row, not 4.
4. I can not will bread to be in the freezer, when it is not. I tried that from work today.. Mr. Husbandman reassured me that there wasn't bread, I thought it was an interesting challenge.
5. The hair has taken on that quad-coloured look again... I am hoping that I am going to remember to colour it soon.
6. I think I SUFFER from OCD only at work, not at home. This morning I cavi-wiped (these wipes are not for a babies bottoms... these things can kill HIV, TB, and other smallish nasty things in under 5 seconds) the countertops and edges, telephones and computer keyboards in one single go. I was most impressed. It did take everything I had mind you .. not to empty off this cart that holds bed spreads, and put them on the specified shelf... that took a lot of will power. I wish I could have that much strength and conviction to empty my laundry basket full of mismatched socks with the same OCD abilities. No can do.
7. I am hoping that I remember soon when I am out that I have a broken coffee maker on my counter.. and probably should replace it.... someday.

That's enough for one day.. I don't want to blow a fuse.

What exactly is this....

on my computer screen? That is the question I am asking myself tonight... while I stare at the screen and know that I did not leave it this way yesterday. It's just all fuzzy and blurry and messed up. I am going out on a limb here... but I believe it had something to do with the children. Big guess, and I'm probably right.... although I can't be bothered to track down the culprit and make the little hand clean up the big mess. I have a bigger question though.. did they do this before or after they were done with the computer... as I am having a hard time doing some letter connections right now.

There we have it... much better.... a clean screen, absolutely lovely. Join in my friends... take a moment, and clean your screen.... you too will feel much better, breath easier and rejoice in the clarity of the words in front of you .... well, not really... but there is a chance.

In other WHAT EXACTLY IS THIS things going on here today.... The boy has come down with a nasty cold.. I think a remnant from what his sister had last week. I am a bit worried.... he will have to perk up a bit for Monday... as it is picture day, and we can't be having a picture of Rudolph smiling at me for the whole year from on top of the piano. There was silence from him when I presented the regular Saturday question to him... "Did you have some fruit today?" In Pip news... she looks kind of played out.. I asked her the standard Saturday questions tonight after I got home from work... "did you brush your hair today, and did you do your teeth, and tell me, did you eat some fruit today?" She is either immune to my questions, or just lies to make me happy.. '"Yes mama" was the reply. I can't even ask about vegetables... Mr. Husbandman doesn't even like to talk about vegetables. AND.. when I got home Mr. Husbandman was behaving like Mr. Workshopfella... as there was a scroll saw busy scrolling, and a homemade pattern of some fancy cutouts for the corner of the shed sitting on the table out on the ugly back deck.

I haven't had the opportunity tonight to catch another huge spider like I did last night.. when I said to myself... what exactly is that moving down there....

In more laughable moments...

The sister is stalking me again. She wouldn't admit that to my neighbour... as she entered my home, found the cell phone, called a number of times, quizzed the neighbour as to my where abouts... she finally found me. I called her. We then proceeded to go to the much hated place on earth for stuff... WAL-MART... where I proceeded to spend $200.00 on stuff. I don't want her stalking me anymore... that sis is an expensive stalker. But now.. the Little Lady Pipster has been outfitted with 2 pairs of runners, one pair of lovely flat rubber soled patent leather shoes, and a pair of boots with pink flowers. Someone will be happy about this shopping trip.

Laughable moment:

The girl had to write a story about a body part in school yesterday. She wrote about her hair. Hair, the body part of the new age I guess. Little Lady Pip did a fine job writing about her hair... especially the beach blond that it is. That is no typo.... at least not this time. The teacher corrected it, and politely added an L in the correct position. The Pip had to rewrite the story at home last night as a good copy on a specially selected piece of paper. She pointed out to Mr. Husbandman that the teacher had added an L to her work when an L was not required. Therefore it still stands that she has beach blond hair, and in certain other light, the beach blond hair also looks as bright as the stars according to the Pip.

In the deep dark night laughable moments happen:

The Pip comes to me last night... and shakes me awake, although I was already awake. With one hand clutched to her blanket, and the other wrapped around my arm she tells me that she needs me to get her to the bathroom. I jump out of bed, and off we go. She stops short of the bathroom door, and starts frantically feeling around the wall...."great, just when I need to go to the bathroom, the door is missing" she says... which is when I realize that she is sleep walking.. I then move her another foot down the wall, and she enterers to go to the bathroom. The sleep walking Pip is a tricky one... sometimes I can not tell that she is actually sleeping as she maneuvers about the 1365 square foot homestead.

The fingers are restless

I am very irked at the moment... almost conundrumized really. I have a brand new container with flower food sitting in the wings for this very moment to arise... to feed my plants. The timing couldn't have been so not perfect. My magical blooms are fading, and the plants are looking tired, and soon it will be time to pack up the pots and baskets and store them for the winter... the issue is of course that I do not want to open up my plant food for only one occasion of feeding all of them. I would like to store the food until next year... tomorrow is officially the end of summer on a soltice calender. The weather here is about to take a turn to wet.. and after that the flowers will no longer be so perky... and yet I do not want them to go quite yet....

In other fingery things.....

My piano music is quite pleasing the finger tips, although it is doing nothing for the ears. If my fingers could plunk on the correct sharps and flats at the alloted time.. things would be much better. Although.. now I have been playing music for the godfather, and it's a wonderful world, and The Grinch song.... so, it's all good, and it stands many chances to get better.

In important fingery things...

The laundry on my bed should be tended to... in a very bad way. I will stop clicking now and attend to the items above this one. HA!

3 more...

Yesterday I bit the bullet and bought three music books that have familiar tunes for a variety of audiences. Now I just have to read the tunes and play them for people on the piano.... at my stroke group. I am working on incorporating speech from music for a couple of sessions. Key words... working on it. Now I have to learn the songs, which are fairly simple... but I have to play them well.... to get people to tap their feet to the music, or let the words fall out of their mouths. All the personal successes add up to bigger success for those in my group.

The lovely Hamsterson was helping me out last night while I was playing. I can't exactly tell what kind of fake accent he had entered into, but he was playing the part of an oddball music teacher... and egging me on to keep playing. He sputtered out all kinds of words of encouragement.. (you had to be here to understand the amusement in this)... He carried on ... rant rant rant.. until finally he comes out with in his english/irish/scottish accent that he had made up: "My mother is better than you on these keys... and she's dead!"

The list grows...

The late summer list must be accomplished today. (Summer is officially over in these parts on the 22nd). I will have to go find space in the chicklets drawers for clothes that take up more space than the summer ones did... and the girl... she needs another 1365 square foot home for her bedroom alone. I am not certain what I may or may not be able to do in that room of hers.. of course there is my book that I might have to pick up.. although that is an illegal manuever during the day.... the temptation is great.... I have 5 books to get through in 9 days. An impossibility I declare.... I am going to have to try and renew... MUST. TRY. HARD.

Who's homework is whos?

On Friday we were given something from the girls teacher. So, speedily this morning we to attempted to accomplish the request to do some math drills for the little lady Pipster. Little lady Pipster does not do math drills speedily... the first request was totally wrong. The second request for her to do them at home, was another assumption, and totally wrong once again. WE managed to get the first sheet done. I set the clock the alloted 5 minutes... gave her her pencil and an eraser.. as the microwave quietly ticked down the minutes. Mission Accomplished.... although.. she said she just wanted to finish the line, after the beep went off. Little Lady Pipster doesn't get timed drills. The third question in... I asked Pip, what is 3 + 3 ... She gives me the stupid idiot mother look, and tells me to read what she wrote... 3+3=6.... the trick here is, if you turn the six around... and give it just a little tale.. it looks like a two.. which is what she had written. My left handed Pip... everythings just kind of backwards. This isn't the end... I then had to ask the backwards Pip to now do "take aways" on everything she had just painstakingly added up. That blank piece of paper ended up on the floor... and it didn't float down there.... that was the end of the morning math homework.

The Hamsterson had an assignment... to do a summer collage. It cost me a 160.00 to do. Well, by the time I went through Costco, and bought the printer cartridges, and the batteries, and the box of gum, and then the hotdog that the girl was absolutely needed because she was going to die any second.. and then he wanted pizza... of course after that.. I wanted a latte... it all added up to 160.00 .... just because I was trying to print some pictures from the internet for the boys summer collage, that didn't have a blue hue to it. I'm stupid. I have now spent the whole evening helping the boy with his collage... and cutting out little letters.. and assisting in the glueing procedures... and now I am worried... was there supposed to be parental input into the first collage of the year... the most worrisome part... this has set me back from the book marathon that I am currently enrolled in.

And......We're rolling.

The Kingtinkerer has once again saved the day. Mind you... I haven't driven the 15 year old white SUV out and about... but Kingtinkerer has, and says it's fine. I will trust his judgement on this one.

As I see it, the sea of life just keeps rolling through, with waves crashing upon you. Before you even realize it, another wave hits the shore, and you better be prepared to roll with it, whether good or bad, or just plain annoying... the waves keep rolling. Kingtinkerer had great hopes of "doing things" to his shed in an effort to finish this project by the end of September. ( He's going to need a little get a way over the winter..!) This wave was the broken Toyota in his driveway.

Cut.

The last weekend of summer.

This is it, the last weekend of summer... good bye summer 2005... it's been fun.

Some other fun things for the moment:

1. Figuring out Hamsterson's math homework.
2. Trying to get Hamsterson to do his collage for the summer.
3. Getting the girl to do her timed mathwork for tomorrow.
4. Try to get the girl to come out of the bath tub, with candles and lavender to boot.
5. Hopefully Mr. Husbandman will have my car put together by tomorrow... the handyman that he is... apparently the water pump broke, so he replaced it... and then he decided that the timing belt had to be replaced, he said something to do with stress cracks, and engines stopping, then blowing up.. and other such nonsense..... and when I look into the huge cavernous space... there are still lots of pieces missing.
6. Preparing for my group tomorrow... as I am busy having a conversation on MSN.
7. I am wondering if I should throw some water around my back yard for the grass and flowers to have a drink.. or is mother nature going to take care of that for me.

A good casket of characters. The marathon continues

Rain Rain please stay here...

I would sing the other well known jingle... but that clearly isn't what I am wanting right now. I want some rain, for pure greed purposes...this is the perfect time to grow grass. Although I am concerned.. I keep dumping down grass seed, and every day I go to check on it.. just to make sure it hasn't grown legs and disappeared... but that is the case.. so I go back out and throw more around, just in case I didn't throw enough around the first, second, third, and fourth times. I have seen some pretty fat crows around here lately... lousy freeloaders.

In other things that are normal....

The Hamsterson had to write a short story about himself, as asked for by the teacher. All was well, until the teacher said to the class...." I don't have to hear about your Uncle Eunice that's an alcoholic... and so on...". My Hamsterson went with that... and added as a PS to his quick tale about himself, that not only was our Uncle Eunice an alcoholic, he was also a gambler. Which because of his gambling habits had lost the family home, so now, all 17 of the family members live with us, including their pot bellied pig, and their homework eating goat. At this point the Hamsterson ripped the bottom of his page... and finished the story by writing in larger words across the page.. STAY BACK.. YOU STUPID GOAT.....!

I am hoping that the Mr. Teacher that Hamsterson now has for the year, will figure out quickly what kind of kid he is. I fear for all of them.

By Malcolm Gladwell.. the power of thinking without thinking.

The Beast is Back.

Today, being the middle of the month signaled an awakening in Hamsterson. For some reason he had decided that this is the day that he got his PLAYSTATION 2 back. Joy oh Joy. He lost it, and the television, and the computer at some point back in early August. From that point on I did not have to police his user status every waking moment. For him a thinking process (punishment) was a thinking process (punishment).

This morning awakened a new beast once again.. he has been awake since 5 am, terrified to leave his bedroom before 6 am, and now that the light started peeking through... he has emerged.. with his hands doubling the looks of REM sleep, before him. Here it starts... I am now the Electronics Police once again.. I have enjoyed this freedom that with the electronics gone, so was the title. Now it's back.. but of course... it's back with a fresh mind, and fresh rules.... which will start after his formal return this am. That will be much to his disgust.

I haven't quite figured out the rules to the new game... but it's going to be something.

What today holds...

I am back from my eight dollar hair cut. You can't beat that. My hair loves eight dollar hair cuts. If there is one coupon I could have.. it would be the eight dollar hair cut coupon. It just makes me tingle... especially when you give the hair cutter lady a five dollar tip... because she was just so happy to cut my long uncontrollable, wild, frizzy, right now tri-coloured mop of mess on the top of my head. It's a good thing that she didn't blow dry my hair... but only put mousse in it... it poured when I got back onto my street.... until I walked through the front doors to the 1365 square foot homestead, and it stopped raining. I got the chance to be the first person to blow dry my new mess of hair... and it's still a mess, just shorter. But... it's all good.

Pippy made no mention of the fact that she was not going to gymnastics today. She claimed yesterday that she hated gymnastics... really hated it. I told her that she hasn't been there in two months, so how could she hate it. She said she was fake smiling the whole time last year. In other fake smiles... have a look at this one... and then wonder why she gets the name Pip. Real hair,... doing real things.

Yesterday's news.

The things that happened yesterday:

1. Spent 5 hours cutting the lawn, weeding the lawn (with a rake and a leather gloved hand), dug out my lovely black dirt from the compost bin, chucked dirt all about the holes that I just put in the lawn by ripping out weeds, raked the dirt and seeded the lawn, re-potted a rhodoedendron for what reason I do not know.. it is certainly on deaths door, but the neighbours ripped it from their garden.. so I had to have it. ( I couldn't just simply go the garden store and get one with nice green leaves on it, and buds in hopes of future blooms ) Stripped my tomatoes and used that pot for all of my bamboo stake collection that Mr. Husbandman wonders about. Raked up two tons of crap beneath the fir trees.... which you do not know the crap is there because fir needles do not fall with a thud... but over time there is quite a mound of them.
2. Then I went inside.... and hauled out the vacuum.... and did a stupid job that I have been wanting to do... vacuum the screens on the windows.... Point of interest here... I managed somehow to move the bathroom screen so that it was now stuck, and open about 1 inch from the window frame, I fiddled with it, trying to slide it back and then.. just left it..... this morning.. it has been fixed. Mr. Husbandman is ever so observant about his passion in life.... being the window guy that he is.
3. And the most important news of the day... I thought I was imagining things when I had a couple of sips of coffee, and it seemed a bit cool. I was really smacked in the face when I finally poured another cup, doctored it up, took a sip.. and it was cold.
4. Screamed....................................................... the fourteen year old coffee maker is gone!

Excuse me.... excuse me....

Is that a ball of worms sitting on your lawn? Yes, yes it is, and thank you for looking. Currently I have balled up worms, chopped worms, lonely worms, wiggly worms, skinny worms, starving worms, blind worms and more than likely dead worms... in many patches across my back lawn. I dug up my every so lovely kitchen waste compost container... and as it poured out black gold ( my version that is), the worms poured out with it.. so everything got loaded into the wheelbarrow and trucked to a new home..... the back lawn. Little lady Pipster was busy being at home today due to her nice and nasty cold that she is currently sporting.. and she loved the worm effect.. quite cool really...it's kind of neat to see your lawn wriggling away with the beastly little things... I didn't actually ever touch them... I have great leather gloves for that sort of stuff. After I had given the worms a new home.. I gave them a little treat... called grass seed.

The first sound of the day.

I hear movement down the hall.. it's the Pip... I can tell by the way she shuts her door, and by the sound of the way her feet hit the floor.... I am waiting... what's it going to be, a day at school, or a day at home.... tick tick tick tick tick..........she has gone to the bathroom first..... I must keep waiting to hear what's going to come out of her mouth... still waiting. Apparently the bathroom has magically superglued her. AHHH.... her she is.. and the verdict is.....she's staying home. Her blond mass of hair is too messy to be set straight to go. No really, it is. I think a day of rest will kick the cold out of her.. and then she can happily resume her Grade Three business tomorrow, including sharing her name with two other girls in the class. That's a bit funny... because there aren't many of her names around, although it's not totally foreign. Perhaps by tomorrow her raw little red nose will be blowing, the same as the rest of her lovely skin, rather than like a beacon that it is now. Good call I am thinking.

In other news about girls: The little J-meister bashes on our front door yesterday.. she wanted to know if Mr. Husbandman was home. I asked her if she had broken a window somewhere... she shakes her head no. She just wanted to talk to him she says. ( I try not to crack up ). I ask her if I need to leave him a message... "Yes, can you ask him if he can fix Chelsey's bike seat, it needs to go up" she said. "Certainly", I said to her... "when you see Mr. Husbandman come home, he will help you". OK, the funny thing is... both the dad's for these two bike riding chicks fix this kind of stuff, they must have been out, or busy... I was impressed by her resourcefulness. She knows that Mr. Husbandman has the most tools.

The 1:50 phone call

My little lady Pipster, made it to school, and remained in school... until I got the phone call. This was after one child left her group, then another child left her group. And she became the third to leave her group. The teacher became nervous, she wasn't sure if she was being taken for a ride. Three girls leaving class on the first day of real-deal school, perhaps it was the little grade 3er's telling her who was boss. I did fess up that the girl was getting a bit too snuffly and runny nosed as the morning progressed, (so I did what all evil parents do, when they need to be someplace during the school day..."suck it up sister" I said to the sweet princess and then sent her to school... she wasn't melting from the whole fever thing... ) but I also had my first day of the stroke club to tend to... and I was already madly nervous about the first day... only because I was been sent regrets left,right and center... I thought it would just be me, my lovely volunteer, the word games, and a big empty room. As we were heavy into our first Bocce Ball game of the season, the call came in... and luckily my amazing and wonderful brand new volunteer volunteered to pick up the Pipster... who also is the Pipsters grandmother. Thank the big guy for mothers as volunteers. It just works. As it certainly worked today.

OMG!

This just in.....

The Pip is refusing to go to school today, due to her stuffy and runny nose. My only saving grace at this point is that she doesn't feel hot. She's only allowed to be sick from Tues to Sun..... so her and her sickness will have to wait until tomorrow. I need to run my group today... for 4 hours. I will have to go give my Pip a little Pep.

The real deal

Today is the first day of real school. Last week was just fake. Last week was all about mastering the getting into the routine of waking up, doing junk and leaving the home before 9:00 am. Today we are expected to make a good showing, and be there for 0855. I just think of it the invisible challenge line. As other parents are busy scurrying about, and have been kept waiting with great anticipation and even greater anxiety, as to who their child will get as a teacher for the year...I on the other hand am troubled by the invisible challenge line, and my inability to cross it on time. That said... my coffee is done... that will certainly get me even more worked up when little lady Pipster says she "just isn't ready to be ready"... whatever that means in her blondness.

In other things that are the real deal.... things like my Stroke Group begin today... and so do piano lessons, Tae Kwon Do, gymnastics, art attack, cartooning and swimming. It is very sad.. but I can not write soccer on the list.... HA HA HA. And that is also real. The Pip and I saw her last years team practicing the other day while she still splashed in the big outdoor pool... OH PIP... I call to her... look what I see taking place out on the field..... the girl sank to the bottom of the pool. She has such talent.

Better go prepare some real lunches, and wake some real children.

And so...

If you would ever like a little non-scheduled pick me up... try flying (driving) down the freeway listening as the car speakers pound out the music to Ravel's Bolero, as the sun breaks through the clouds ... mindblowing experience. This is what visions are made of.

Fun and amusing.... I spied this book on the library "express" picks... and my 256 holds on it was now done.

Do the math

Once upon a time, a great many moons ago my Mr. Husbandman gave me a formula. This formula was good for renovating. Whatever the cost of the supplies needed, and then double it ... that's the price that you will pay. It works for him... because I have witnessed some pretty outragous numbers over time.... and he told that I had not done the math properly.

Now, I present my sister.. she is kind of like a renovation figure. It worked quite well today... I figured I would be out with her during the morning time (total 2 hours, almost forgetting to double it), and now it is one oclock... so the figuring is correct. I must now accomplish my tasks in a short two hour window as opposed to the four hour window that I thought I would have had. And, to boot, I told her this fact about herself....

My ship has come in...

In the form of a book.

My 81 holds has made it down to zero... and the library now says the book is mine for three weeks. That is great... if I didn't have 5 books now before it.... one of which has to be read in one weeks time ( the one that I got down to 187 holds out of the original 256 holds, which that request has now been deleted, because I just saw it sitting on the shelf... waiting for me ).... of which I am already into my second day... tick tick tick... I am on a marathon of reading adventures.

I will not speak to the Mr. Husbandman... that way it's smooth sailing, no time wasting conversations... wait a minute... I don't really talk to him anyways. he he he he he.

This is how it goes...

Here, I'll put on a little play...right here. It's easy, just follow along.

Part One:

me: Oh King, do you think you can build me a shed?
him: Yes Sir, almost anything for you sir. I will do it.
me: Oh King, do you think that it will take you long to build?
him: Now Sir, I am the King I can build anything.
me: Oh King, do you think I should go to Home Depot and buy a shed.
him: No Sir!... I will not put up a rickity rack shack in my back yard, I must build my own kingdom, that will be sure to stand after the first rain storm.
me: Oh King, alright ... if you think you can do it.
him: I will have it done by the long weekend.

(Ok, that conversation took place in May).

Part Two:

me: Oh King... it's the first day of your holidays... you have so much work ahead of you.
him: Sir, I can't talk now, I am off to Home Depot for supplies.
me: Oh King... I'll come with you.. I can't resist the temptuous smell of lumber.
him: Alright Sir, if you must, but do not think that I am going to looking at other of your silly things, I am looking for things to build the shed with.
me: Oh King, I must accompany you anyways, as you need to put the purchase of supplies on my airmiles credit card.
him: Alright Sir.
me: Oh King, how much of this shed do you think you will get accomplished?
him: Sir, I believe that I will have it sheeted by the end of the week.
me: Oh King, so how much is that to finishing it?
him: Sir...do not worry, I will easily have this shed done by the end of August, way before the end of summer.

(Conversation in July as he sits and reads his newspaper on his ugly deck with the dog)

Part Three:

me: The kids are going back to school tomorrow.
him: Oh.
me: That means it's September 6th.
him: Oh
me: This is the September long week-end, basically the end of summer.
him: Not really.
me: So, what's on the plan for today.
him: Going to work on my shed.
me: You have a shed? I didn't know that... when did that happen? OMG --- you have a shed.
Well aren't you the king... Mr. showoff man shed builder....
him: (stares at me)
me: Well I have a smile on my face now that you have a shed... you will have to show me where it is......( smiling here... and looking around in bewilderment)
him: You just wait.

Conversation from last week-end.

Part Four:













































































Part Five:

me: I'm still waiting.
him: (sits and smiles)

Getting into the swing:

Today was the first practice day of going to school. The lovely boy Hamsterson almost got it right.. as I saw him walking down the road, on his way to school. Somehow he got lost in that short distance and came back through the front door... and wanted to know if we were driving. He knew to start runing when I started yelling "You're walking in the wrong direction!!!!!!".....

Pippy on the other hand will need some practice going to school as well. Things like getting ready. Small things you know. She was mystified as to where the placement of her sunglasses was going to go in her brand new over the shoulder leopard print carrying case. Things like shoes, teeth and hair take a back seat to the grandiose trinket placement decisions. She managed to put her (actually Hamstersons) CD player in her shoulder bag... in case she wouldn't find her friends like little J at lunch. I had to remind her that little J had gone to a new school this year...Pip, Pip, Pip.

Tonights job for tomorrow...
All the clocks are being reset to a new improved 8 minute advancement. Five is little, and ten is just to noticable. I must trick the minds of the clock challenged, myself included.

The First Day of School.

Yes, it sprang upon me quickly. I could tell it was nearing by the level of scowling from the chicklets. The decibels were rising quicker than a flame reaching for oxygen. It couldn't have happened all soon enough.

I love the first day of school. It gives us reason to get dressed, eat some sort of breakfast, then lock our doors, and take a brisk morning walk to a little school in desperate need of a proper parking lot and driveway. On this shining bright blue sky filled morning.. we walked. It probably could be our last walk... as I am certain that the little lady princess pipster will undoubtedly make us late for some reason.... tomorrow, and all the days following. I have already put a plan of action in place.... I will just let the boy scooter himself to school. It should hopefully be safe, as the icky filthy squatter infested home way over on the corner has now been condemned ... so hopefully the filth that inhabits this space has been condemned with it.

The boy was quite happy to go off to school today.. as he has informed me for the twenty millionth time this summer that he is the oldest kid in the school. I'd say he had a lot to brag about if he could have been the oldest and the tallest... but a girl has him beat on that one... so I wont rub it in. Although I did tell him that if I heard that he was the oldest one more time... I was going to start doing things that would start taking years off his life... just to shut him up. I am evil. In other things that make me evil... I sent him off to Tae Kwon Do today.... his most hated sport known to him... of course all of his sports have been taken away from him... the things that exercise the hands, but almost for certain rots the brain.. his computer and his playstation, and just to make myself even more evil.. he has also lost the television. But later on in the day, lovely Hamsterson was busily riding and skidding on his bike. That was a foreign and odd sight. Almost UFO like.

Fussina Mussina Pipenza Evlina is a different story. She once again willingly set foot into the shower last evening, and we washed her hair. That was all done so that she could get it all braided up, which would make it all fluffy for this morning, and then she would be a big blond bombshell, as opposed to the tall blond bombshell that she already is. Her outfit of the day, was one from last year, and she was OK with that. It was still pretty, and lovely, and I wished I owned to my name as of this moment, ... but she does, and it still fits fine in the width, and it's only a bit troubling for the length......but she is happy that she has a skirt to wear, and it's pretty, and it's purple (lilac). That's all that matters.

And now for the changes at school today:
Regular teachers that been around forever and a day (almost) are gone.
I had to walk to the back of the school to collect my children, this is foreign to me.
A classroom that I had regularly visited for four years straight is now owned by someone else.
People have changed their names over the summer.
One person looked particularly happy to be at school... but this was only her first day... she will have to wait until tomorrow to get her real personality back.
Summer really doesn't help with the growth of a rat.
The now past PAC president's hair has gone frizzy. Not sure why on this one.
There are already posters on the wall, and a picture of my boy Hamsterson, and the girl from across the street are at the bottom of a poster, side to side. This is a sign.
They ran out of cream for the coffee while we waited the whole 50 minutes for the chicklets to re-acquaint themselves with desks and blackboards, and of course kids that they love to hate.
The gym has been painted to a 2005 look, rather than a 1960 look. I will still complain about the colours though.

And, in things that you wish it was still summer time:

Pippy and her friends have started riding bikes,... happily...around the block, by themselves. Why couldn't they have started this on the last day of June,... it would have made more sense. But, now that our light is fading quicker and quicker each day.. they have found this the latest love.
My boy doesn't have a bedtime... I am hoping that he finds one soon.

Rockbound by Frank Parker Day

And the excitement is building.....

I have pictures to post, and stories to spill... but it's going to have to wait. Yes people, wait. I too am now on edge waiting for myself to say something... but I am plagued with needing to read my book.... and all of this will have to wait. Oh the stories I could tell... if only I would type.. but I must stop.... as the book is calling.. and I am on deadlines with the book people.

what Friday nights are good for

1. Not getting things accomplished, and then doing them in the dark... like watering forgotten flower pots.. even though it's going to rain tomorrow... but these are the ones that do not get water even when it rains.
2. Not eating dinner, but waiting for the Husbandman to make it home... so he can cook the marinated steak... but that's the only thing you eat.
3. Razzing friends about certain conditions about ankles that need antibiotics to heal, not just a wish and a prayer.
4. Not offering up a warm drink, let alone a cold drink or a blanket when it now cools off on these hot days and cold nights of August, out on the ugly but comfortable back patio. Sorry Deb... I didn't quite see goose bumps sticking up like spikes.... so you probably had a couple minutes of life left in you.
5. Not really feeding the children anything considered normal.. like dinner.
6. Dealing with little Miss High Maintenance in the furry four legged terms when Mr. Husbandman doesn't make it home in good time.
7. Trying to remember what was exactly in the grocery bags that were still on the floor waiting to be unloaded when the neighbour lady came by.. and you started talking to her, and then forgot that there were grocery bags on the floor, and a high strung food stealing dog to go with it...
8. Checking on library updates.. and potential jobs from around this big city of ours. Quite exciting I might say.
9. Remembering that there are good shows on TV on Fridays... at 11:00 PM.... pardon me... WERE on TV. Rats.
10. Contemplating what the work life will be like in less than 8 hours.... that should be good.

The bad shopper

That is me, I am a bad shopper. I haven't got the whole thing of if you buy cream, it must be because you have coffee at home. Wrongo-bongo. I am without coffee this am, or yesterday am, or the day before that.. although I have beans in the cupboard, but I am not sure if they are decaf or not. When you are steeping the tea bags for longer than 5 minutes, the decaf just isn't going to cut it. This is why drive throughs were invented.

In other things that I am missing.... I have cereal... but where is the milk? I am so sure I had milk the other day... I will need to focus a little this weekend (while I am at work) and spend some time going through my inventory of wet foods that go with dry foods, starches that go with protein, that oil and vinegar due mix, you just have to mix them at the right time. I need to organize my cracker collection, so that way I can work from the ground up on the hissing factor from the Pipster as to what she likes the least in her lunches, in fact, I need a cracker collection. I will need to bulk up on the hot liquid department now that I have bought Pip a fuschia coloured thermos. She was all over the thermos... now I need to get all over the soup section at the grocery store. This means routine grocery shopping, not random.

OH MY GOD... summer is over!

Tell me why

I added a word verification thing to my little blue blog here.. not sure why, I just did. I guess the blogger people told me I could add it, so it seemed the right thing to do. I just tested it out, and almost got the letters wrong. Crap, I can't even comment on my own blog correctly... but then, looking back ... I of course realized that the font was extra fancy and in a curved line. I am a little mixed up... it's a word verification, not an alphabet deciphering prize winning question. What ever happened to "sans serif" or "courier"?

The edge of reason

Last night I put my corner rounder to the test. I cut up some of my pictures, and rounded up the corners, blasted down some coloured mats, rounded those corners.. and I just kept on rounding. Yes, I have a whole photo album from our little time away from the holiday-not-from-hell this year.... and almost the whole album has got rounded corners. Well, the first two pages are not rounded, as I didn't decide to start rounding until page three. But I am not really counting.

I had the most interesting observation/conversation last evening with someone more stubborn than a pack of mules on a good day. One of the Debbie's had somehow acquired some sort of bite on her ankle the day before, then by last night her whole foot, ankle and part of her leg was quite swollen, and discoloured. Despite listening to myself and the other Debbie ramble on with practical, common sense and obvious advice that the ankle bitten Debbie should have had someone with some sort of medical background look at it, rather than hope it was going to go away... she was still aiming to go to work this morning, stand there and sort her mail. You go Debbie... hopefully she found a box big enough to stuff her foot into this morning....

The last day of summer...

It has hit me hard this morning. I have now come to the realization that for me, it is the last day of summer holidays. I'll just sip my tea, and stare off into space.. and contemplate my last day of not having to be somewhere at 0900 during the week, and 0730 on the weekends. It's going to be 22 degrees out there today, but I now can't wait for the winter break to arrive.

Oh pleasant thought

I thought of something yesterday which delighted me in a most wonderful way. There will be no soccer this year for the girl. I am not frowning in despair over this lack of soccerness, or forgotten registration.. I am delighting in the fact. Even better... cheers to no soccer this year. Oh happy me, happy me.

And...for the girl that doesn't get the soccer. She still doesn't get it, or those menacing extra long legs of hers either. I am going with a another year of gymnastics where she can continue to practice her cartplunking originally known as cartwheeling.