I'm am referring to my sister. The streets are not safe when she is not at work or engaged in business that takes her away from stalking me... which apparantley she is quite good at.
Last evening the sis found her way to my driveway... put a trance on me.. and the next thing I knew, we set off for USELESS TASK NIGHT, which we did accomplish some useless tasks, but we had to call it quits early into the night...well for one, to give her a VISA a rest as it was smoking a little, and two; we decided to immediately go over to our mother's house... since we had picked up a bunch of pictures of wicker furniture from Pier One. I had to stop and pause a moment.. just to ask the sis that we should consider calling USELESS TASK NIGHT over since we were heading over to visit the mother... "Hi Mom.... we are out on useless task night, and we picked you as our useless task of the evening..... we thought we would come and visit you"... clearly that would be like putting a pickle in a piece of lemon pie... surely...
(SIDE BAR: The mother of all mothers.... Maxine.. is the best mother in the world..... hence the reason for the pause in changing the evenings activites, and we did tell her of our great discussion regarding this fact...)...
Anyways ... back to the sis. The Sis has a certain way of just showing up, and leading you astray... very quickly.... and, as if in a trance.. you just follow along with her... like earlier...
Earlier in the day when the rain hadn't started falling yet, but it didn't matter that the rain gods were with me later in the day when I really wanted it to fall... but apparantley I prayed to the wrong gods... I forgot to whisper a little prayer to the UMPIRE GODS.... who had the ability to call the baseball game on the account of the pouring rain, but didn't.... clearly I made the wrong decision in the prayer department today.... it's this water thing... it's haunting me... it doesn't matter if it falls from the sky, or the watering can... it's just not working for me!!!!! anyways the sis.... I am about to cross the road, as I walked the streets of PoCo... and there she was... the sis lady stalker in the burgundy van... happily waving at me.... so I make a dash and try and jump in the backseat of her van, as her big big black flatcoated retriever was busy residing in the front seat... but the van door was locked, so Jasper got bumped to the backseat just as the light turned green... and I was in... like a snap... without thinking.. she had nabbed me again... she held me hostage for a while.. doing some more flower and plant buying.. until the VISA started smoking again..... and I knew it was time for me to leave... I had to be strong... she wanted to drive me back to where ever I had left my 15 year old smudgy white SUV... but I already had a game plan at the ready for her... we had made a last stop... and after we had finished... I refused to get back in.. "really... it's OK, I can make it back home..".... I begged to her.... I got off easy... this time... But what I didn't know.. is that she would be back... L A T E R....
WE had made it home... completely soaked from the wonderful ball game (gag, sputter, choke)... and before I know it... the door quietly clicked shut... GUESS WHO... the sis had arrived back at my home... she was in search of black buckets, or anything that would hold dirt... the sis was very interested in my 2 spare bags of bark mulch.. but I worked hard to divert her attention, and her velcro hands ... I agreed in giving up one of my black plastic buckets, and an empty hanging basket..... since she was already in the motion of unloading all my bamboo stakes from the bucket inside the one she wanted... you have to be one step ahead of this sister stalker... and before you know it... she had just about got me again, and drag me off to Home Depot... but I had to back away... stay away from the van I told myself... just stay back from the burgundy van.... although I did get a peak at the next crop of flowers and plants she is going to have to smuggle home without the b-i-l-husbandman noticing... it was a very close call this evening.
I am in great fear for the AM... she is already making plans....
1 comment:
That's why I wish I had a sister, for useless task nights. That actually sounds like fun to me.
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