Who's child is this?

There are some things that I don't really give a ..... let me think about the right word... yes, crap about. Things like birthdays. The day comes, and goes... and ooopps, another year older. Big deal... it happens to everyone. The Mr. Husbandman really doesn't care about them, and the 10 year old son is developing along the same lines since we have given up on the birthday parties... 2 years ago..... he asks every now and then if he could have a birthday party, and I say OH SURE.. but nothing materializes.... and even the boy forgets. The girl on the other hand was borne into another universe, but temporarily planted with this family for shear temporary mortel sanctuary, until her grand universe will be presented to her on a plush pink carpet, after all of the plans have been inspected and passed by none other than the Pipster herself. This is posing a problem to my sensitive ears. If I have to hear one more time that it's her birthday, and she's having a party... I'm going out and getting the shop vac and sucking up all her presents and every piece of the party parade that has made it's way into this home. Although, I have to say... it's a good thing that she has talked non-stop about the whole hideous event... it did remind me that I did need to go and find her some sort of gift to keep the devine being happy while she is staying with us on this planet.. who knows how her kind can punish our kind... the evil and uncaring homestay pee-ons that we are. I think when I gave our Pip a hug tonight she was levitating beneath her covers. OK, and believe this.... I did contemplate taking her out of class Friday afternoon... just because the child is unbelievably off the wall about her 8th birthday.... not sure why that is. I am not even buying the girl a cake... she is getting a pink donut platter piled with donuts for her birthday cake. I came up with that idea... she loved it... all pink, all the time.... (when she's not wearing her lime green that is).

Anyways... after tomorrow the birthday high will end, and she will slump into a deep depression by Saturday morning.... but, to fend off any further troubles that she may present... I will take her to the Elks Pancake Breakfast and load her up with syrup.... before the MayDay parade.

And in other useless tales that we tell about children:

The other morning I am telling the Pipster to hurry, which is the usual morning fare... (she doesn't hurry)... EVER!!!! The little Pipster turns to me... and in a polished tone says to me quite smartly: "You can not rush a lady, ladies do not rush".... she says, and continues to poke along at her regular pace. That's right Pip... your universe awaits you.....

I caught her chasing a boy tonight, (at the boys baseball game) all in good fun, but she was chasing him. I stopped her and benched her... immediately. I told her to sit and stay... girls with long blond hair do not chase boys... believe me on that one little lady. STAY. The girl from across the street was already benched by me for running in parking lots ( a dead end space with no cars moving)... which her mother would slice me over if she knew that her daughter was doing that... and she'd probably ask me for the dryer back.... so I had to get tough with the parking lot runner.. ... which was why the Pip was chasing the boy... because the girl across the street was no longer allowed to run through the parking lot... so she was egging my girl on the boy. "Lady Pipsters do not rush after boys", I said. If you were to see my Pip running, you would ask her to stop too. Believe me on that one.

AND.... in even more useless tales... the boy actually cranked out a hit tonight. He actually did it.... and had to pause at the plate, to watch it fly through the infield, into the outfield... run boy run!!