My husband... who can do many things, has folded up his coffee pot ways. The other day he managed to make himself the meanest cup of coffee that it left him buzzing for two days. I kid you not. ... it all starts off.....
He decides to make a pot of coffee, after a around the clock diet of Advil and Tylenol Extra Strength tablets and a television set.. (because of a bulging-disking back issue that leaves you horizontal for three days straight, and after only a momentary trip verticle puts you almost 6 1/2 feet under)... but he was able to stand long enough to build coffee. I think it was this exact moment when he felt well to feeling unwell once again. Yes, it's confusing for me too.
So, the not thinking fine Mr. Husband proceeds to add probably 10 heaping tablespoons of coffee to 5 cups of water, drinks it all and then complains. "I don't feel well... my heart is just pounding.. and I am all jittery"...Now, me being the kind and lovely wife that I am, immediately starts putting together a jigsaw puzzle of factors in my head.... something similar to this..... (for christs-sake.. you can build homes, take apart clutches in driveways, and put together turkey dinners.. and you can't friggin make a pot of coffee... freaking moron).... and because I am kind of OCDish.. I continue on inside my head.....(look buddy, if you are now looking for sympathy.. you get none, it was all used up last week when you came home with the broken back issue, and once again, when I took the boy over to my mom's house while I was at work all day Saturday, then when I brought you home Sushi for dinner, and then once again, when I was worried about how you would manage on the Sunday with just you and the girl while I was at work.. then of course.. if you were going to be able to make it to the doctor... and now that you are complaining of being jittery after a pot of coffee... but you are still pink, and you can talk, and you are not short of breath, and you are not feeling any other symptoms of a heart attack, or any other heart related issue.. then you my "Mr. Good-at-everything"... are on your own... get over it, drink a big glass of milk, eat a hunk a cheese.. go neutralize your caffeine ravaged system...I HAVE NO MORE SYMPATHY TO HAND OUT TODAY!!).
He is much better now. Although there has been a name change in the family ... he is now known as Mr. Decaf.
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