Gone Away, Dog Gone It.

Well, we are back. All alive, intact, including both the beasts familiarly referred to as dogs....this was the list that I gave to the lady that looked after our 10 1/2 year old german shepherd. She's kind of high maintenance, and we have never left her with anyone... she just doesn't fit "The Kennel Experience", so this amazing woman down the road kept her for us...
Cicely’s Vacation Requests

I am otherwise known as the Evil Queen…. He he he…..
I am really a good dog…. I’ve just gone bad….he, he he….
I mostly like people, and I tolerate kids. See my Do’s and Don’ts list that my human friend has come up with…… most of them I will agree to, some of them I am proud of, and the others require no comment.

Please Do:
I like to be petted, a lot. And when you stop… I will paw at you, and probably tell you not to stop.
Give me two scoops around dinner time… I won’t necessarily eat it, but then that will give me something to do later when I pick up a mouthful and run into another room, spit it out, then eat it. This is a great game; it drives the human’s nuts!
I like to talk, you can tell me to do things… and I will almost always give you an answer. I will tell you when I want to go outside, just ask me.
I like my pills with cheese, or sometimes with a cracker… if you have something extra around… because I really like people food…. Although the kitchen staff doesn’t do a very good job of serving it… I especially love watermelon and apples.
If I am just sitting staring into space, I like to be reminded that I have a bunch of toys that need to attended to. Right now I’m in love with the new soccer ball… it builds my jaw muscles… doesn’t do much for cleaning the teeth.. oh well
If you like, I love big rocks. I carry them around; toss them on the ground…. And have quite a bit of fun hissing at the little beasts
I noticed your strawberry plants yesterday…. You may need to stop me from eating them….. As far as I know, I am colour blind…. But I can’t resist the taste.
Remind me to settle down. Sometimes I have just so many things that I am thinking about that I begin to pace… and I need to be reminded to relax, a Queen’s job is never done.
I do fetch. Fetch and return, no thanks, that’s simply too much work.
Ask me to speak, shake a paw, lie down, sit, and rollover.. (the latter only occasionally)
Please DON’T:I do not like to have my tail touched. An adult can touch it… but I will run away if you try!!
I don’t like you to take my toys. They’re mine. I do not share. I never have and never will; even those people that I live with can’t make me. Besides, I will just pick my stuff up and walk away anyways… I will always win.
Blow in my nose…. Those people do it… just to get a rise out of me!
Don’t worry if you do not give me a pill everyday…. Those people do not give one to me every day… only when it looks like I am favouring this little elbow of mine.
Make me race up and down the stairs, I’m not too used to them… and it’ll make my arm sore. I’ll keep that to a minimum thanks…. Do Queens’ even need to exercise????
Don’t worry….I know, I know…. Leave the bees, butterflies and birds alone…. But while I am in control of your yard… I must be diligent in driving them away.
Also, do not worry, I have never bitten a human and I do not growl…but I kind of make some kind of hissing noise when someone tries to take my toys. Usually I have already grabbed my beloved item and ran off anyways.
Don’t worry about trying to get me to stop barking… if you call my name enough times, I might take the time to listen to you and stop. I don’t really bark for no reason.
Worry if you forget to bring me inside, I have on occasion “been forgotten” by the common people inside….. I will wait for you…. As I waited for them….. WHEN THE SUN CAME UP. (Beasts!)
Don’t feel that you need to take me out for a walk. I enjoy dragging my humans on occasion around the neighbourhood…but I do not enjoy idle chit chat with any other four legged “anythings”.