Chop chop

The skies were great big and blue today. I hauled out my Edward Scissorhand Scissors and chopped up some branches. I am quite happy. QUITE. HAPPY.

Well, I am happy for that.. although I am not happy that the lovely lady Pipster is refusing to do her HANDWRITING homework. I will be sending it back to school not done, except for the scribbles on the lines where the practising didn't go so well.

Time change

I feel like I live in warped time zone. I drove up to my sisters palace on the hill... and her tulips are BLOOMING. I had to go out last week and buy up some primulas, just to add some colour to the homesteads fascade.

In other things that make no difference to anyones elses lives but mine:

I think it's time to get the "check engine" light dealt with. I have been driving around with this blazing orange light staring back at me from the dashboard of the 16 year old SUV for a number of weeks, I think I am done with it.

I saw 10 deer down at Minnekhada. It's quite the family they have growing down there. I would love to know where they hide during the winter months. I love the peaceful energy that radiates from them.

The girl was presented with a big huge bag of clothing by a friend of mine. This is lovely... except for the fact that I do not have the space for the clothes that the girl has that I bought her. This poses a BIG problem for the middle of her bedroom floor, which is usually scarce at the best of times.

I now have plans drawn for the new kitchen, and laundryroom, and new family room. The husbandman spent 7 hours milling about last week producing drawings for this next adventure. Of course like a picture, they are pretty to look at, but expensive to embark upon.

Now that the time change has happened... it has created a time warp for the girls personality. My Pip was Pipless this morning. I am hoping she is more "pip pip horray" by the end of the day. I have decided that she is going to need some severe happy pills by the time 4:45 rolls around... as she has told me that she WILL NOT be joining her friends in the pool for her new-fangled swimming. I think the husbandman bought some KING DONGS (the first time ever such chemical explosions wrapped in celophane have ever made it in the house)... this might cure her "nonswimitis" she hs this morning.

Well must go do things that people do.. like go to work. HA!

Pardon me.....

Yesterday I went for one of those specialized "lady" chest xrays. Which was then followed up by an ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was busy as a bee snapping pictures. I thought in my head as she was busy snapping... please stop with the picture taking... that is just too many pictures for my liking. Then she hopped off the chair... and said she would be back. While I was waiting for her, I thought I had not heard her right, when she said "I will be back"... I thought she had gone for lunch, and coffee... combined. So myself, and the pictures of myself on the monitor waited.... I stared at the pictures on the monitor, and wondered what all the black and white images were really saying... and then I thought back to the ultrasounds with the chicklets.... that was way easier.... there were a billion pictures on the screen of a little alien... and this was comforting... because I knew that ultimately it was a baby chicklet. I continued to wait, and stare. Eventually the ultrasound tech came back, and she brought a radiologist with her. He shook my hand and right away said, we don't have any bad news for you. ... But then he continued.... "You seem to be circling the drain".... (((( in my head I start screaming.... HOLY SHIT... did he just say I am circling the drain.. how the hell can that not be bad news?????))))).. but then I came to, and he continued talking that "I am circling in the storm". This is where he motioned with his hands, one fist he held steadfast, and the other hand swirling around it. ((((Once again, I started talking in my head.... I speak fucking english.. and I do not have a clue what you are saying))))... I do know that since "no real news is good news" I will go with that.. until I get the real interpretation from my regular doc.

Little life adventures:

I am one ball in, and have one ball to go.
The Fun Fur scarf will be ready before I know.

My hands are stiff, and the fingers are slightly hard to bend
Even the wedding ring is giving my finger a dent.

I have eaten many tabs of Tylenol since yesterdays visit in the toothstealers chair
These are all the stories at the moment, that I have to share.

How odd is that?

I can swear when I went to the dentist this morning that I was going to get a crown, but somehow that crown turned into a pair of plyers.. and now I'm toothless, by one.

It is a shame that I ran around my little homestead yesterday, cleaning and buffing and washing.. if I had waited for today, the toothstealer said for me to do nothing "physical" &/or "strenuous" for the next two days. Man, I can certainly screw up when I need to.

Well, I am off to buy some Extra Strength Tylenol......once the freezing empties from my face, there wont be any amount of lipstick that I could paint on my lips to add a smile to it.

Sitting upside down for a number of hours in a dentist chair really zaps you of your energy. But, I am going to have to do something rather quickly... because I have to be perky and funny for my Stroke Group in 30 minutes.... rah rah!

Just an observation....

Don't you just hate it when you think you have lost weight... because your jeans fit you better.. and then you figure out that your fly is down. Double crappers on that one.

In other things that are beyond belief:

I am happily slurping back a cup of coffee that has some "soy silk" creamer dumped into it... and I have to stir it up real good so as not to see the curdling effect on the steaming cup. Strange but true. Oh, and on that thought...the expiry date is not until April 19th. I am betting that I am going to be alive at the end of this cup of coffee.

OK, and I have come up with a list of songs to play...it's a stream of songs.....I am hoping that I can play them all. I'll make the list here... that way when I lose the actual list that I have written down.. I know I will have put it somewhere.. OUT THERE. OK, the next problem is... how do I play all this crap.... I CAN'T PLAY WITHOUT MUSIC IN FRONT OF ME.

1. Sonata Pathetique
2. James Bond Theme
3. Edelwiss
4. Canon
5. Candle in the Wind
6. The Blue Danube Waltz
7. Andy Griffth Theme
8. Over the Rainbow
9. Lovin Dat Man of Mine
10. Space Odyssey
11. What a Wonderful World
12. Paino Man
13. Speak Softly Love
14. Star Wars
15. The Entertainer

A neck snapping good time.

I am planning a little music fest for my Stroke Group in a couple of weeks. I have been setting aside time every day to practice all kinds of piano music ((except jazz)) and put it into an arangement something like a "medley of music". This sounds all well and dandy... especially if I can pull it off, and ever more importantly, if my neck doesn't snap in half by sitting on a piano bench for many hours at a time. This could be a dangerous endeavor... I better find some music that has some intrigue when the time comes for the neck snapping good time...

What time is it?

I was awake this morning at a most reasonable time. I got out of bed at 5:47, and went to the den to watch the news. I brought my knitting, "the fun fur scarf project" with me. What else do you do on the second day of spring, but knit a scarf. The trouble is now... it's 7:50, and the only person awake is me. The only thing accomplished so far: a billion rows of knitting. The things I need to accomplish: drag children from their beds, make them dress, eat, brush, and be merry all before 08:50. I hate getting up early.

Onto bigger and better

The kitchen renovation is going along quite nicely. It's a very exciting process and has not impacted our lives to too much. Here's an update of the progress so far:

The husbandman has now moved a large number of items out to the shed. I believe there was comment somewhere that he needs a shed for his newly built, not even a year old shed. He also has moved all of his pieces of plywood to the other side of the garage. Then he swept all of the garage. Yes, the kitchen is taking shape quite nicely.

I am currently on the hunt for his sledgehammer, firecrackers and some dynamite. If I could have my trusty whip handy, I would be satisfied with that. But the edges are dull, and kind of thud when you crack it. I have offered my ((almost useless)) whip to my friend who is now getting a new shed, like I (we) did last year. Hopefully she will put it to good use. In the meantime, I will somehow continue to look after the yucky-yuck ancient kitchen, while the husbandman continues to clean and organize the garage.

I'll go back a day please.

The sun is gone, my smile has faded
My spring spirit has definitely been deflated.
From across the horizon I see masses of grey,
Which will certainly bring with them, rain for the rest of the day.

AAAAHHH, the first day of spring.

It's sunny outside.

Yae oh yae.

I have a smile this ________________________________wide.

And it will stay there all day.



((OK, I wont include the fact that the chicklets are back to school.. I don't think that has anything to do with it......))

Lucky me!

Now that spring is fast approaching in these parts, I have finally found my knitting needles and pink coloured fun fur to make the girl a scarf... no time like the present... that being said.... this was to be a present for her at christmas time... except that I was a bit over zealous in the hiding of the needles and fun fur department. But now that I have found them... I must click along quickly.

In other things that need to be quick:

I came home earlier, while the husbandman was busily removing items and articles from the soon to be new room but still garage at the moment. The old and still unrenovated kitchen was nicely tidy and organized.... UNTIL I managed to make some dinner for the people that reside here. Of course I made things look a lot worse than they needed to, just to get Mr. Cleanandtidy all wild and crazy like... I succeeded quite nicely.

Talk talk bonus

I love the talk talk bonus... it is very special to me... I believe I am addicted. It's a game at the CASINO, that I absolutely love.... when I do play. I am mostly a spectator sport kind of person at the CASINO. My stalker sister keeps asking me why I call it the talk talk bonus... because there is no reason to call it such a thing... I think the real name is the tail bonus, but the talk talk bonus works for me. For the longest time she considered I was nuts for loving this game, but now she is addicted to it. She is nuts too, and a stalker... so I am still one up on her.

Two titles read for the week.

zi zick

That is the sound that my monitor started to make the other day. Just before it quit. I am a monitorless mother.

zi zick, zi zick, zi zick.....zook. And that was the end of my monitor

I did talk to Antion from North Carolina about the zi zickness of the monitor. Then as any good monitorless mother should do, I walked my zi zicked monitor through the London Drugs parking lot.... and took the now zi zicked monitor back to the mother ship for an overhaul. All going well, it will be put to rest, and then I can adopt the new sister slim line, and get rid of the zi zickless FAT monitor....

The Queen of the Kitchen...

Strikes again!!

I was grocery shopping a couple of weeks back... and found some interesting items in the freezer section. I have decided that I really like the freezer section. I didn't realize how important of a section the freezer section can be to a person that has come to terms that her and her kitchen are not as best of friends than they should be. I can not believe that I have been bypassing the freezer section for as long I have been. I am ashamed of myself. Tut tut to me.

Anyways... as I was nattering... the freezer section called to me a couple of weeks back. I was at my Airmile grocery store, with my big coupon in hand, so I was feeling kind of desperate to cash in on the airmiles. I happened to spot these dinners, already made up... all you needed was a skillet and some heat. WOW! I couldn't believe my luck... now this is cooking at it's finest. Tonight I tried my hand at these super speedy fast skillet all in one dinners... as soon as the husbandman walked through the doors I was already hissing and sneering at him to "keep it down... I almost have your dinner ready... I have been chopping and seasoning for hours...."

I am once again the Queen of the Kitchen... and he doesn't even know about the freezer section dinner that he dined on tonight... now I just hope he didn't notice the wrapping that it came in. I am sure that my diamond ring is coming very soon.... VERY SOON... with my fabulous cooking abilities.

Things that break.

There was a lovely break in the weather over the weekend. Which really means that it didn't snow, hail or rain... at all. In fact, the sky was blue and the great outdoors had a welcome mat attached to it. (The lovely hamsterson missed his step and stumbled across the welcome mat... he still needs reassurance that the great outdoors welcomes him too....)

Now that the weekend BREAK is over... and it is officially SPRING BREAK around these parts, it appears that the weather is on the verge of giving itself a BREAK, and will certainly BREAK every single parent this next week. I watched the weather forecast for this week. I am going to slice now. It calls for rain, rain and more rain. Give me a freaking BREAK! Of course it isn't raining now... that's because I have to be at work in a little while....

I wish the word SPRING BREAK could be termed as BREAKFAST. We fast, then we break the fast... the same as we should BREAK for spring. Which means that there should be white lovely popcorn clouds floating about a wonderful backdrop of blue sky..... for the whole week.

The only thing that will be breaking at the end of this week will be me, if I have to live with APELETS ((a.k.a. chicklets)) that are locked in the great indoors.. because of the rain.

I think I will let them go swimming!

The Checklist

My fairly aged 11 year old boy spouted out a list of questions yesterday as to the proceedings of the day. I felt like I was in Sunday Night Theatre, where the people crowd around the radio, and listen to the stories, where the actors talked so fast you barely had a moment to process the words.

Hamsterson, please get ready to go......

These are only some of the questions/comments that he spouted out in less than 20 seconds... I think I might have missed some....

1. Where are we going?
2. Do I have to go?
3. Is the sister coming?
4. I am busy.
5. When are you returning?
6. Am I still expected to go?
7. I don't think I have a jacket to wear.
8. Go with out me.
9. Do we have any food in this house?
10. Please tell me we have food.
11. Are we going someplace that we have to buy food.
12. I'm not coming then.
13. How long will it take to get there?
14. Will I be home early?
15. Does this have to take all day?
16. Can I rent a video game afterwards?
17. I need to be home by five.
18. I should probably just stay home now, you are always late.
19. Will you buy me some food?
20. Are you bringing money with you?

If you see a girl laughing....

Just ignore her. Leave her alone. Trust in the fact that she's happy in her own world. Even if she looks insane, as she giggles and snickers to herself.

I would like to say that my friend and I had a conversation on the phone yesterday, but I believe it was more me just spurting out useless details to life, and her umhumming in agreement. Anyways, our conversation continued along about the non-tree hugging religion of the Jehovah Witnesses. I told her that it drives me nuts to always be finding their magazines littered all over my tables of "precious info pamphlets" that I am obsessed by tidying and setting out for the patients to read and LEARN from. So I spout all about the amount of paper that gets used from the JW's love of logging practices.... and then I come along and dump it all in the recycling container. (So sorry).... I then carry on about how we don't see other religions handing out or leaving behind information, or like, for want of a better example: Sikh's handing out knives on streetcorners. I then spoke in a hushed tone into the phone... "Sppp, you... you wanna knife, I have a knife, come here and get one...." Enough said, we hang up the phone, and carry on doing our daily life like things. Or so I thought. I mean I was alright.... but my friend on the other end of the phone was clearly touched by my odd antics.

She needed to go grocery shopping... and who did she spy, but a Sikh, carrying a knife....Now, on any given day Sikh's with knives aren't funny, at all. But what does this poor soul of a girl start to do... but laugh. A lot. While walking by herself. In the grocery store. And who does she keep bumping into as she cruises the grocery aisles.. but the Sikh with the knife.

Hey.. pppppsssssttttt.... you wanna knife, I have a knife.......here let me roll it in some paper I found in the recylcing container.....

Sun Seekers Two.

I told the Pip that her and that pink bunny on her back might find a pot of gold if she followed the rounding branch of walls.
A young man enters the wilderness catwalk to fame.

 

Sun seekers.

Dancing with themselves

Ah finally... a no brainer

A fun lighthearted story, I think my heavy drama book filled days are over. I can't seem to find time for them, and yet, this little number kept me reading all night. Although I don't think I could keep reading these stories over and over.. I think eventually I would need new drama... or something!

Check Engine

My 16 year old SUV's engine may be ready to blow up at any second. I have been driving around for two weeks with an annoying bright orange light indicator on my dashboard staring at me in the face. I have talked kindly to it, as I do to all inanimate objects, (which does not include computerized cellphone people), and have asked it to go away, the engine is just fine, thank you.

Yesterday with the lovely and short lived huge snowfall (was it even two inches!) that we had, I was able to put the 16 year old SUV into four wheel drive. This is not something that the nicely aging vehicle gets to do very often (much to the husbandmans dismay). I noticed that once I had put the rusting but still worthy vehicle into four wheel drive, the check engine light disappeared as quick as I was able to shift it's gears.

I believe this is a miracle people, a no cost miracle too boot. I will watch and wait cautiously now, waiting for something to twang and then watch as the engine burns itself into it's final resting place.

Thursday Snowstorm

 

I had a fight with Melanie TODAY

Conversations with Melanie are very one sided. I always have to call her, and she never calls me. NEVER. EVER. Although we have a simple telephone relationship, it's all questions and answers most days, and that's that. She really only cares about what she can get from you, and the second you ask her for advice she passes you on to someone else. Although Melanie can be at times helpful, she can also be annoying, very annoying. Sometimes you have to listen to Melanie repeat herself over and over again. I have on occasion hung up on Melanie as I am very impatient with her idiocy at times. Like today, when I was talking with her, I could just tell Melanie was in a mood. All she kept saying was: "I'm sorry, I didn't get that".... and you can't tell Melanie to shut up and listen, because that only frustrates her simpleton self, and then she shuts down. She asked me a question today, and I gave her the straight answer of CREDIT CARD. She asks me to repeat myself, and I do, but louder. The third time she asked me to repeat myself I almost rammed the credit card itself through the phone lines, but instead I screached CREDIT CARD into the receiver. I believe I saw stars after that. Before I knew it, Melanie was gone. Thank god.

Like magic, I was suddenly talking to another voice, a voice that told me that sometimes Melanie is moody. You can't get through to her and it doesn't matter how hard you try, Melanie wont listen. The voice apologized for Melanie's behaviour, although it was not required. I had no reason to complain, or apologize myself to Melanie... as she is an automated cell phone operator.

Undercover Issues

The Pipsters class went on a field trip today. I offered to be one of the driving people, since I didn't mind where we were going, and it wasn't challenging to get to. I have had instances in the past where I didn't have a clue where we were going, and the other parent friend and myself ended up viewing some falls off the highway. We were apparently on our own field trip that day, except for the rest of the class was busily learning about apples, about 30 exits prior. You win some and lose some.

Anyways... back to the control freak of a teacher. We arrive at our destination, and I have my umbrella closely attached to my side. She spots the offending item and marches up to me... "You might want to leave that someplace" she says. I immediately hissed back at her "what's the deal with umbrellas, I'm planning on using it", and I give her the evil eyebrow glare. "Well, you will have to stand at the back because you might bump people with it, if you insist on bringing it", she googlyeye looks at me. "I think I can manage", I try and say nicely to her. (That scale of nicety was about a 6 1/2). Holy freaking fridge magnets.... I am not certain what her issue is with umbrellas, but I am certainly glad that I didn't give into her useless wind... as it POURED AND POURED the whole while we were on our OUTSIDE field trip. The other more fearful parents caved under her control freakish issues. They ended up wet and cold. I at least ended up just cold. I couldn't have done both.

Good Deeds

I took my not over due library books back to the library. I even let the library book "go" that I had requested to be brought in. (I had 7 days to collect it... which I didn't collect, because I either forgot, or have a stack of books calling to me with no deadlines and fees attached). I am free from the library burden. Althought I am not free from the huge amount of fines that I (being the cardholder that is) have amassed. ((There was the incident of the Hamsterson's 50 books that are COMICS, but are considered adult books that I believed to be due on the wrong date that hiked the fine,... which I am refusing to pay... they are COMIC BOOKS!!!!!)).

In other good deeds..... oh, which there are none at the moment I can think of.... !

The Law of Averages.

I wheeled into the driveway with our now 16 year old SUV. I parked in a spot a tad bit further down the driveway than I normally do. I opened the door, stepped onto the driveway and flipped the door shut. The very second the door shut, I heard a splat! I looked to the ground and spied bird splat, I looked up, and perched right above my point of exit from the vehicle sat a bird on a wire.

This whole splat is a highly odd event. The splat came from a crow. Crows never sit on the wire that connects our house to some pole at the street. I never park in that exact location of the driveway. This had to have been a crowsplat ambush. I am sure of it.

Sunday sunday

It's 8:48 and not really that late
But I find it hard to rhyme, when it's so close to nine.
I still need to worry about getting the kids to bed on time.

It's not that worlds will collide, or buildings will tumble,
the problem is finding the girl's bed, in her messy jungle.

The boy on the otherhand is organized, and tidy.
Althought that doesn't make him all sweet and smiley.
He is continuing to brew bugs from there to here,
I think the latest one has settled inside of his ear.

I can not be for certain that this is just so.
Although it appears to be very red, and seems to glow.

Time is ticking, as the husbandman paces,
in time to attend to the chicklet bed races.

Time is ticking it's 8:58
Bed time is something where I shouldn't be late.

Things I have accomplished today:

The biggest and most important deed of the day was bidding the chicklets a fond farewell at their lovely and little school. I left them with the kind motherly thoughts of have a nice day, school ends at three oclock and:

"don't call me I'll call you".

The Hamsterson has spent a week at home, and the girl was getting quite pissed at this whole ordeal so she decided that she needed to stay home as well. I let her stay home yesterday, she may be a little under the weather as well, so perhaps a day of rest wouldn't have hurt her either. Anyways, I have put the tough love mother approach today... and everyone went back. Now I am terrified to answer the phone... it might be them....

Well, that just about sums it up for accomplishments for the day...I'm done, and it's not even 10:00!

Although I have a head of very badly coloured hair that requires some major attention. Oh yuck, I hate it when my memory kicks into high gear... and reminds me of these sorts of things.

Queen of the Kitchen

My number ten title from earlier needs some clarification. I could win mother of the year award with this, or maybe not.

I was busily cooking a fairly bad dinner for Sunday night, since it seemed that the girl was grouchy, and the husband was silent, and the boy was still sick, so it seemed fitting to have a clearly bad dinner to end the night on a sour note. Afterall, I had worked all day, then stopped and picked up a couple of odds and ends from the grocery store, and then had to stop and pick up the left over stuff at the sisters house (where the children had visited since Friday night), so why wouldn't I at this point carry on to make a completely bad dinner.

It was basic, and fast, and easy and boring. An absolute no thinking sort of process. Ah, but I ponder on that last thought... the carrots and potatoes were no brainers. It was the un-opened vacuumed sealed ham steaks dated February 18th that had me guessing. I shrugged my shoulders and then popped the newly opened fresh smelling but perhaps out of date hamsteaks in our non-stick frying pan to warm them up as well.

Ah... Dinner is served! to the Motley Crew..... the sick boy was too hot to eat, so he drank juice, the girl was happy to see meat on her plate and steaming carrots so she cheered up.. and then the husbandman happily spooned potatoes and carrots onto his plate, and politely took a little half slice of ham. Me, being the Queen of the Kitchen found delight in the potatoes and carrots and a piece of left over chicken. The now cooked maybe outdated ham sat in the non stick frying pan....untouched. I had to think the whole time... if I had just set the little grouchy family into a big pit of food poisioning, I better not eat the ham as the boy was already sick, and the rest could develop some form of something.. so I thought it was better to save myself for clean up duty.

It is now Tuesday night.....people continue to be happy, and the boy continues to be sick, and there is a piece of left over ham in the fridge. How odd.

A weeks worth:

I want to know how it is that I have this device at my fingertips at every waking hour, and oddly enough, I haven't made it to this very place where the fingertips run wild with many odd words strung together to create sentences. But I am back. I will have to go with a great theory for this week. A weeks worth of stories that I am sure would have been good, had a actually wrote more than just the titles down. So, since I am lacking on content, my made up titles for my made stories will have to do.

1. "Unstoppable Scrapper". ( I am sure I could have made some humour out of this)
2. "The finger printer" (I don't even know what this was going to be about, perhaps this one will be the mystery, since it is already starting out that way).
3. "Lost in Pips Place" (This one is based on facts about survival techniques in the jungle, except that it takes place in an 8 year old girls bedroom).
4. "Sick Boy" (Self explanatory title, I am sure there would have been some added twists, as the boy himself is slightly twisted).
5. "Winner, winner, winner" (This one definitely has to do with 3 winnings... that will have to remain a mystery!).
6. "Handidart" (This one was a horror story about very simply booking a bus for people to ride on, and NOBODY could get the booking right).
7. "Sardine Supper" (This was about the adventures in dinner parties where way way way too many tickets get sold, and people have to share chairs to find a place to sit).
8. "Silence Uninterrupted" (The chilling thriller of not having children for TWO whole days... I am still reeling from that event).
9. "It's all about Silly" (Stories of dog devotion)
10. and finally.... "Here, let me make you some dinner".......(I think this one could have been a thriller, it had the potential for gore, but fortunately, it turned out to be nothing more than a dinner).

Now.. this is reading!

As I found my place beneath the lamp, and my favourite reading spot on the couch, I just couldn't face the non-page turning book I once again set out to read, and instead opend up this fascinating little number, and absolutely loved it.

The stack is stacking.

I have stopped going to the library now. It only causes me trouble and grief. I have a stack of books that is growing, kind of the same as when did this house become messy.. it was clean five minutes ago sort of thing. I have to finish my book tonight.. I have too, although I really don't care for it, I am certain that it is going to be a real page turner, with the turn of each page. I have already invested a great amount of time reading and rereading the same pages over and over again, surely I shouldn't give up now. Must go and fill my eye sight with lines of words that I will never remember in the end anyways.. but it is fun to try.

In other things that are stacking: I have a pile of pictures that I took the other day from the Pro-D day adventures... that stack needs to be scrapped... and quick like into albums. I hope the Debbie's are reading this VERY LARGE HINT.

Pro-D Day

 

My boy, my boy, my boy

I find it interesting how he sits in the dark and practices his piano. I have tried turning the lights on in the livingroom, but he only turns them off again. At other times when it is daylight outside, he plays with his eyes closed. This is a stark contrast to myself that requires every bit of eyeball energy to transform the black dots on paper to music, while he just motors along. Lucky him.

In other things from the boys life... he prepared his speech the other night. Which really meant that he sat, and thought, and wrote. It all fell out onto the paper, where he then refused to read any part of it, for days. Finally he agreed to deliver his world of words in his own fashion. Now this is where the story turns. I have a friend, a very old friend, a wise old friend in fact.... who once upon a time told me that I had a Jim Carry Junior on my hands. I did think that my boy was a bit of a wise cracker, as all good and loving parents do...but this boy of mine is a smudge above some with the humour factor. So, in speaking of speeches, I sat back last night to listen to the delivery of his speech " The Evolution of Video Games"... which on any given day sounds like "oh brother, not another one...", but what fell out of his mouth was nothing short of a very well rehearsed stage show. As I sat and watched him perform, I decided that this was an act, with words attached to make it a speech. It left me howling in laughter, and speechless.

Rock a bye stalker...

This very morning, I stood in the parking lot at our cranky little school, and waited for my sister in law. She didn't recognize me... I was the woman WITHOUT a bag on my head. She was busily looking for a person with a big over her head, which is what I told her I would be wearing ... after I had talked to the prinicpal about my Hamsterson's great adventures about being "excused from classes for no reason other than being highly annoying by not understanding what was actually expected of him", which then lead Hamsterson a visit with the principal for the rest of the afternoon, which then lead to an explosion of details that Hamsterson vomited out of his mouth, which then lead to Hamsteron seeing the school counsellour, rather immediately. Now, me, being the patient only sometimes mother, waited to hear if the school was going to contact me, for any of the above listed reasons. This did not happen, which I found highly odd, and at the same time highly interesting, which was why the statement to the sister in law about the bag over the head... I just didn't want anyone noticing me after I had to go in and find out for myself what the heck Hamsterson was busying himself with at school. So the sister in law and myself headed off for a quick coffee. This whole time... I thought I was safe from the sister stalker.

As usual, stupid me. I am never safe from the sister stalker... she is always around, somewhere.. somehow. I even mentioned this fact to the sister in law, that the sister stalker would not be calling me.. as she was safely tucked up in her bed.. sleeping after her nightshift. OR SO I THOUGHT. I make it back into my vehicle, and my cell phone is beeping and vibrating and smoking through it's microphone...... aaawwwweeee. I see.. it's the sister stalker looking for me. I carefully hit the CALL button, and the conversation starts....

"Don't tell me you have real things to do today".. the sister stalker says.
"Yes, I do" I cringe through the phone.
"Tell me what they are" she inquires.
I list off a number of my jobs to do, and she cuts me off.
"Boring, boring boring and boring, I need some entertainment, I need some excitement, we can't do this, you have to come up with something better" she bellows into my eardrum.
"OK, OK," I say to her, "Just stay calm, I have some things to do at home, and then I will come up and get you... I promise.. things will be fun".....and I hang up the phone. My heart is beating about 31/2 beats a minute by this point (she doesn't really scare me)....and I say to myself ... "Jesus, she's a testy little wide awake stalker when she's only had one hours sleep...." as I drive home to do a couple of errands before the real tour of duty started.

OK, now the fateful mistake... I wanted her to read my LONGEST PARAGRAPH EVER, and now she has this blog listed on her favourites... and this was the one place that she has never been able to find me. I am doomed! If only the stalker sister would go to sleep....

What is it doing outside?

 

I need to rethink this invitation thing

I had my lovely dustless friend come over today. "What was I thinking?" I ask to myself... (at the time & many hours later). I have decided that you can not be obsessive compulsive, and have people over, it just doesn't work. Here are the reasons why:

It all started with the fact that it is Tuesday, and I do not wash my hair on Tuesdays. I can not figure out for the life of me why I do not wash my hair on Tuesdays... but a fact is a fact. It just doesn't happen. Tuesday is just not the day to wash my hair. And that's it. So that's one issue. Then with my not washed hair, I was about to set off with the chicklets to walk them to school.. which I had been telling them, and telling them that we would be doing... because it was beautiful and sunny out... When we step outside to begin our RUN to school, our neighbour pulls in, and I continue nattering that 'WE ARE WALKING' ... the chicklets just look at me, smile, and get inside the neighbours car, off they go, and I am left standing in my driveway with unknowingly dirty hair, and an extra half an hour on my hands. This will not be good... I think to myself. See, it's the Tuesday morning issue, and I always find that I need to do other things than what I should be doing on Tuesday mornings. (These details just keep getting more bizarre, but do not fear, it gets worse). This morning would have been a good time to start CLEANING the dusty home, for my wonderful and dustless friend. But no, instead I retreat to the piano bench where I find it totally justifiable to start digging through the piano music that I have not eyed in many months, and couldn't play that many months ago, and certainly could not play this morning. Although I had great fun tinkering with the many sounds on my digital piano, once again, with the lovely guest arriving on the doorstep in a short period of time, one would think that I could be doing something to dust the place up. The problem with my dusty home is that it faces south east.... which means that the sun finds it's way through the windows, and all the shiny surfaces that the sun hits, just don't seem so shiney, because all I can see is dust. Of course this only happens when you take the time to look at the shiney surfaces, unlike myself, where I was sat facing the wall, playing the piano mindlessly. Eventually I had heard enough of myself playing the piano, and then turned on the stereo to listen to real music. It was at this time that I noticed my life in real time, and hissed a OH CHRIST... it's 10:30... my lovely dustless friend will be here in an hour, and I am still swamped with dust, rolling dog hair balls, laundry, dishes, finger printed french doors and messy bathrooms. I was set to frenzy mode... everything had to be done all at once, and in a dust sucking fashion. I then set to making our bed, and cranking up our 20 year old air ecologizer to HIGH in our bedroom. Yes, this will definitely impact the lovely dustless guest, a HIGHLY air ecologized and tidy room that she will never see. A remarkable use of precious minutes, I impress myself greatly sometimes. But as I speedily worked away I was most thrilled with my stat-like cleaning abilities. I did manage to clean the things that needed to be cleaned, which also included two loads of laundry, some walls and shelves washed, and a couple rounds of watering the plants. Life came to a crashing halt when it came to mind that I should put out something to eat. Afterall, I had been here all morning doing things, and accomplishing nothing... I was now definitely hungry. Even the store bought heart cookies couldn't cure my thoughts of being a nice dustless hostess. Of course, this is when horror struck. I immediately retraced my steps on thinking why it was that I thought I had food in this house... surely I should have something... I did manage to spend $300.00 last week at the big box store... but then I also realized that I had bought scrapbooking albums, and a carpet, and laundry soap... which is not something that I was interested in snacking on. DAMN! I had to think fast, well, at least I had cheese. I had lots of cheese... only because I bought cheese twice last week, not remembering that I had bought it the first time around. It's too bad that I didn't have much to go with that cheese. I went to the cupboard to pull out the fresh box of crackers that the husbandman had just bought the night before. I was horrified to notice that I was able to set out about 8 crackers, and the rest were broken. OK not good. This is OK, I thought.... so we will have a big plate of cheese... surely my lovely dustless friend will be too polite to say anything. I moved onto making the coffee next, because after all, this is the only reason she was coming over for. I was frightened by what I saw, or more like, what I didn't see. I had just bought coffee last week, or maybe it was the week before last...anyways.. I just thought I had coffee, which I kind of did, in a HALF CUP FULL sort of way. Except that the vacuum sealed package had been opened. SHREAK! SHREAK! SHREAK! I had to come up with coffee.... NOW. I looked beyond the vile opened package and saw a lonely well loved bag of columbian. It smelled lovely. I had to think quickly, at this point, no move was a right move.. I closed my eyes and quickly added two packages of coffee together (there nothing happened!).... which gave me a full pot. Lucky me, I was back on track. Then I reached into the fridge to pull out the cream. HOLY SHIT NO! I looked at the date on the cream. It expired on February 11. I couldn't believe this. So, me being the warm and inviting now dustless hostess taped a note to my front door. "L., B rite back D"... and then added 1130 on the note, just so she knew that I decided not to up and leave, when she was more or less set to arrive. Lucky for me, she would never have known about the note..... had I not told her... I made it back before she did. OK, one thing going right. Then, I had a bit of a brainwave. I decided to make sandwhiches, but since I had already set out two tons of cheese on a plate.. I didn't quite know what to do next. I spied in my cupboard for something.. and found some salmon. Once again, luck was with me.. except it wasn't sockeye, it was a pink, and I don't really like pink salmon, it's mushy, and I was in a bit of a pickle.... but you don't really notice when you add some hot dog relish to it. OK, I know, I know.. hot dog relish sounds bad, when you are adding it to salmon... but really, it is very good. You just have to trust me on this one. I eventually heard a little knock on my front door where I yelled 'come in', but my lovely dustless friend (and her sweetpea daughter) couldn't hear me because the music was cranked. Well, actually I had just turned it down, but generally I keep it up, to keep the jehovahs away. I kid you not. AND.. in more unbelievable things.. I have a number of friends who are jehovahs just in case the inquiring minds need to know.... including one that comes to see me regularly at my front door, where I stand and keep her chatting for a huge amount of time, then instead of heading to the neighbours front door, jumps in her vehicle and speeds off down the street back to her real life. Anyways, the long and short of it... my lovely dustless friend, her sweetpea daughter and myself had a lovely visit. She even supplied the banana bread, which was quite quite tasty.. and I will not even begin to speak about my loaf I made once upon a time, the one and only time she ever came to visit. For some fairly odd and unexplainable reason my loaf failed, as in failed because it was still raw inside. Once again being the fairly strange hostess, I served the outer edges... because the cooked part of the loaf was really quite tasty. I could not have history repeat itself on that one. So when I started thinking that I was going to bake something before she showed up today... I forced myself into playing some bad music instead. So there you have it... an invitation into my dustfilled matchbox home.

In case there are added thoughts or comments... I just wanted to let the human public know that once upon a time I did plan, and organize a wedding reception for myself, and the husbandman for 170 people... and I find it highly odd that I can not orchestrate a simple coffee visit.

Get with the program!

Dinner done - leftovers, lucky me. check
Children happy & content - kind of, temporarily. check
Dog fed -- yes, but she doesn't believe that herself. check
Laundry done -- in the process of doing. check
Homework -- have to listen to speeches, eventually check
Husband home -- he doesn't talk to me anyways check
House organized for friend tomorrow --
there's always the morning check
School obligations -- not for tomorrow check
Any reasons to harp, nag or query: none at the moment check

Time to read my book FINALLY.

Oh yes, the lovely day.

I think we should really rethink valentines day. I think I would like to have it renamed as international cookie day. On this day we can hand out cookies to people that we just plain and simply like, and this is a mixed gender thing as well. Kind of like a halloween of sorts, except we don't have the little beggers coming to our doors, it's actually us doing the stepping out, handing out cookies. The nice part about international cookie day is the fact that no love has to be involved. You just have to have enough cookies to give out, that's it. It's very simple. Say good bye to all of the cash grabs that go along with this day of festivity and pretend love and go-go-ness. It is all rather revolting.

Here here to International Cookie Day!

What's my line?

While at work today, I was happily hidden while one of my friends posed a question to a visiting family member.

"Where is Mr So & So?" asks the visitor.

"Oh, he's in room 209, you must be his brother, you look just like him", says my friend the nurse.

"Uhm... I'm his son" says the visitor. ~~~~~~


My friends face turned as red as a tomato ready to bust it's juices with the offending question just floating in mid air. It didn't help when her very nice coworker (me) scolds her on the relation comparison factor... "listen missy, you are not to concern yourself with the dynamics of who's who in the zoo, what you want to establish is the fact that they might be related, because they do have a similarity in features...."

I further aided my friend with a quick step by step technique as to how to go about finding out relationship factors with the unknowing visitors that stop by. This example was followed by notes, and a quiz at the end of the inservice. It goes as follows:

OH (raise eyebrows)......

(direct gaze to visitor) are you related?

(pause, wait for answer).

I told her that this method is a sure fire way of keeping her feet on the floor at all times, and not unknowingly stuffed in her mouth.

We did have a really good laugh... considering that she had just compared an 81 year old guy to a 35ish old looking fellow. Oh well, she's blond, she has an excuse.

circling and circling....

Alright,... just between you and me, and you and me only.

I HATE SCHOOL.

Yes, and I don't even go to school, well, except to drop off and pick up children. It's the crap the happens between those two times, that is the stuff I hate the most. Not that I am picky about things or anything...I think come Monday I am going to ask that the two of them become wall flowers, and "yesmen" all at the same time, while being in the classroom. I have had enough of them sticking out like little green men from way "out there".

In the meantime.. I am on damage control duty.. and I am not sure of the reason why.

It's sunny out

All is good when the sun shines. All is good when the sun shines. All is good when the sun shines. All if good when the sun shines. All is good when the sun shines. All is good when the sun shines.

If I keep typing that I will be able to believe it... eventually.

The growler son has temporarily quit growling, but he might only be taking a break. Oh lucky me.

The little scaredy catdog Ellpee has quit limping, for the time being, until she might do something else to herself.

The Pipster now has a completely typed speech with a big thick staple in the corner of her pages, and she almost has half her speech memorized. Her psycho teacher is done for the week, and will be returning on Monday.

The husbandman has fixed my back window that had the broken key stuck in the lock. The world should fall apart in the 1365 square foot rancher more often, that way he can go and hide out in the driveway/outdoors/out in the shed/ and do other great useless tasks, because that was quite the accomplishment!

I just got back from buying a great many things at the big box store,... and the one thing I went for, I have forgotten.

But it's OK, because:
All is good when the sun shines. All is good when the sun shines. All is good when the sun shines. All is good when the sun shines. All is good when the sun shines. All is good when the sun shines.

It's not the Vampire Life for me.

Oh, I don't think so. I am too much in love with the light. I have come to the realization that at this time of year, I start counting the hours of light that we get. In the evening I watch to see that it will stay light out until six oclock. In the morning I like to note the times when the sky begins to turn it's closet black into the ever lightening shades of grey, and then begin to burst with the colours of the day. I look forward to the colours of a pink grapefruit that throw themselves over the mountain tops, and fill the sky. OK, and the best part... the chicklets rise in the morning earlier when the light hits their bedrooms...

On thinking about the light, I am not so much in love with it that I need to move to Alaska or the North West Territories, now that is light gone crazy. I couldn't do light 24 hours a day... for a couple of months at a time. I do require a certain amount of darkness, so I guess there's a little vampire in me somewhere.

Yes, it's Monday

I can tell that by all the things that have happened so far. It's Monday, I need to remember that.

The boy is unusually grumpy, very grumpy. He isn't normally at all like this, he slugged his way to grade 5 school today, in a resistant growling sort of sluggish form. It was all very wierd, including the fact that we walked to school today, and we never walk on Mondays.

My Stroke Group was exceptional today. So I was told. That comment I didn't make up. People were leaving quite happy today, and yet, they leave quite happy every Monday... so I really want to know how bad I am screwing up on other days, if today was exceptional? Perhaps the comparison factor is off... in comparison to yesterday, when there wasn't a stroke group... you know, that sort of thing.

The lovely and overbearing teacher has totally scared the dark hairs out the miss blondy lady Pipster. I have heard this woman natter, natter and natter about the SPEECH, SPEECH, SPEECH, for weeks now... and now I have been hiding from this woman for days. She even called the house today, and was pretty much psycho about the non-speech work that the PIP didn't do this weekend. My phone vibrated into my ear as I heard the grade three teacher yell...."she is very, very far behind".... it was too bad that I had to wait through the whole freaking message so I could delete it... otherwise I would have to hear it again, and again, and again, and hearing it once, was bad enough. Good lord. I can only imagine how much squawking this grade three teacher did at the PIP, because the PIP burst into tears at the end of the day, and couldn't even fathom the word speech by 3:30 PM. I decided at this point to let the girl have some quiet time. I believe it was a good thing that I did not head down the street for the boys piano, it would have put the PIP over the absolute top had she had to go to piano.

In the meantime, the growling scowling grade 5 boy came out of the school in a happy mood this afternoon. It's too bad that I cancelled his piano lesson for today, as he hasn't picked up his books all week, and now that he had his smile back, he probably would be able to play magical music... ok maybe he could. Well, I mistakenly thought I had my boy back. He was pleasant for a number of hours, and he even played with the evil little sister on the trampoline for a great number of minutes, including cleaning up a ton of her stuffed toys they managed to amass outside in a very short period of time. But soon enough the growler came back to haunt the 1365 square foot abode... and since I didn't have the patience to even start to delve into his warped sense of right and wrong, I decided it was his bedtime. HA! ... at 8:30 PM, I even left the husbandman standing in the growlers bedroom in the dark, next to the growling boys desk... as the two of them had been doing his homework. There was no breaking through with the boy... the growler had to go.

Since the boys life had suddenly taken a spiral nose dive into hell, the girls life perked up. Little Miss Pip happily sat next to myself, and the computer, and narrated her "somewhat" acceptable speech, all about the desert. In this very amazing feat, it also included a huge amount of cooperation, and a pleasant attitude, plus, all free today, one free reading of the six paged beauty. The little lady PIP even managed to score up a couple of jokes and humour into this very dry subject. After I had witnessed the amazing presentation, we moved into her big pink book that she is trying to read aloud to me. Once again, this involved cooperation at it's finest. I can't believe that I have eyeballs left... the PIP usually tries to take out an eye or two, when we have to do such SMALL projects together. I am blessed!

Then... around the dinner time hour the husbandman called and wished for me to make him dinner(these demands just frighten me), instead, I decided to go out and try and put the window up in the 16 year old SUV. Upon re-entering the home I noticed that the little dog, L.P. was limping around the livingroom in a great way. I absolutely know she wasn't like this only 2 minutes before. She had no comment when I asked her what it was that she did to herself. As of this evening, she still seems tight lipped over the whole ordeal, and continues to limp.

And now... it is late. I have just watched my most favourite Monday night show "Dead Like Me", where no book too good can infiltrate my viewing pleasure...and then, the finest of creams to sit upon my cake.... I realized that is filmed in Vancouver. Hm. I like that.. and even better than that... I love the show.

I think there are two full moons sitting out there somewhere....

Happy Holidays!!

In a casual conversation with the 15 year old "Teen Tina" childcare girl yesterday:

"Well, I like your kids, and thanks for writing me the letter to my new manager that gives me the extra hours that I need to make more than minimum wage, but A & W pays more".

I have officially been discharged as her once monthly employer. At least I think I have.

Now all my vacation days will consist of not working when the husbandman is doing is Saturday working... and on second thought... what a nice thought.

Finally

Undead and Unappreciated.

A quick fun easy read... This book is best read underneath the lamplight shining through the sunroof of the 16 year old SUV, outside of the pretend TKD. Now back to the painful book...

Real sun, handing out real colour.

Life is messy.

I want to know how a 1365 square foot rancher finds itself in such a state. There's bits and pieces floating over here, and other things floating over there. I want it all gone... SNAP.


AND SO IT WAS DONE.

OK, moving on to more boring things of the day.

The stalker sister has not bothered to come and find me this morning. I figured she would hunt me down... and demand that I do things with her... like go for SUSHI. This is her very new, and very favourite thing to do. ALL THE TIME. Which is funny, because she quite hated sushi for the longest of times, and couldn't even speak of it. Which was quite sad for me, because that was all I ever thought of... all the time.


PAUSE.............PAUSE.........................PAUSE.................. .............NEWSFLASH~~~NEWSFLASH~~~

The sun has come out here on the Canadian portion of the West Coast. Exit your homes and vehicles slowly.... we don't want to scare it away.....AND don't look at it through your windows... as it will only depress you to see the amount of dust and film that has gathered on the windows and furniture during this time of continuous rain and cloud.....NOW GET OUT THERE AND ENJOY THE SUN.... WHILE YOU CAN...................

now....back to the regular sushi story

Now that she loves sushi so much all the time... there isn't a question as to where we will go for lunch, when the stalker stalks by.... like yesterday, ( I was just leaving the home on an orthodontic emergency with the superson.. somehow a wire had fallen out and into his cheek, which then left him bleeding, and MIRACULOUSLY silent,.... as he was unable to talk with a wire in his cheek... ) when the sister stalker walked in my front door and decided that she needed to immediately escort myself and the broken brace faced superson to the orthodontist office, then back to school again... the whole while keeping me in the passenger seat... so she could eventually end up with a sushi partner at the favourite sushi eating place. That was OK for me... because as paypack for the escort/stalker sister... I made her do a popcan return run with me...

Well, I must leave now... I am not certain how long the sun will be out for, but it's worthy of my complete and full attention.

Everyones a freak.

Earlier this late afternoon.... he he ehe heheh... that's a good start I say... ANYWAYS...

I had to take the boy and the girl that knows all from across the street, to Tae Kwon Do. I had great thoughts of going inside the School of TKD greatness.... but I couldn't face the MASTER. No I could not....and I am not sure if the real reason was the fact that the 16 year old SUV was nice and warm, (and I really wanted to continue on reading my lovely book) or I didn't want to face him, or have to watch what the CHICKLETS did, or didn't accomplish in TKD today. I decided that the less I know the better. I will surely be certain that by Thursday he will have completely forgotten that he saw me with the TWO other traitors....(the lovely friend "L"), and the person that he trained for years, but then somehow forgot that he said he could get her to the Olympics. Well, she moved on, so did a bunch of other people. Except me.... I am still at the pretend school of TKD. I am willing to move, except that the boy isn't. ISN'T. ISN'T. ISN'T. In a very big way.... that's OK, the boy doesn't really like TKD anyways. So really, why spend good money on good instruction, when you can spend the same good money for half-assed kind of OK instruction... sometimes.

We're all freaks.

Ode to lateness

Oh to be late,
is not always great.
Except for the fate,
Of the great parking lot debate.

Hundreds of parents,
arrive right on time,
where they park so close,
there might be enough room for a dime.

They sit in the car circle,
and wave to their chicklets
and continue to wait, and take up space,
like complete dimwits.

Now, I have my theory
And it's a good one for me.
The line up of cars and stunned parkers have left,
And it's clear sailing for me.

Look at the clock, it's 3:04.
Time to jump in my truck, and lock the front door.

Piano lessons.

This is what happens when the boy goes to his piano lesson after school...... it's just me and the PIP taking a walk, through bear country, minus the bears, and the camera.

Shock Value

OH what a difference a year makes. I would just like to say I am greatful for time and memories that eventually fade.......

Moving on to this year.....I was just a passenger the other day, visiting a Tae Kwon Do tournament for 10 hours. My friend stated 8, but she was wrong... it was 10!!! Even at that, we left at the exact moment "What's that guys name" started his fight. I think I must have asked that same question a half a dozen times, and each time my friend "L" would roll her eyes, laugh, and say KEVIN!. Anyways, after a day of trying to remember KEVIN's name, we didn't even stay to watch. OH well. WE had watched a couple of hundred other strangers spar and do other things that they do at Tae Kwon Do championships, why stop now and watch someone that you actually know. (chuckle chuckle).

Anyways, I think the best part about the 2nd competition I have ever been to was the half time show. We didn't know they were even doing a half time show, until half way through the show. But that's how these tournaments run, lots of people, doing lots of things, and lots of chaos.

In other great things: I got to spend a lovely day with a lovely friend, on an unlovely hard bleacher. But I knew that going in, and had to balance the lovely with the unlovely. Besides, we talked scrapbooking when were weren't busy spying on the "MASTERS" from the Tae Kwon Do world.

Prass

Life has been very different since the evil one said her final good-bye that early Sunday morning of last year. That left us down to only one German Shepherd dog, and this one is afraid of her own shadow. Little Ellpee, on her own at last. Not frightened of the Evil Beast Cicely that stalked this 1365 squarefoot rancher in stealth mode in the dead of night, or ruled all of the green space in the great outdoors. Now Ellpee is the queen of the castle, and has taken it upon herself to act in a queenly manner... just like yesterday when I found her sitting like this..................





She helped herself to the couch, because the new addition named Cicely/Prance/Prass was quietly sitting on the couch waiting for the Pipster to come home... so little miss Ellpee decided that she would have a little sit down on the couch as well.... being the older wiser of the two beasts that now roam our home once again.

Save me from myself

The very last time that I tried to help little lady Pipenza, I was accused of writing her "out there" assignment. Thank you very much, I did type it, I did read her blips of information, and I did ask her very obvious questions, which she then very obviously answered. I might add that she answered them quite beautifully, so beautiful in fact that the teacher blatantly pointed fingers at me, and wanted to know if I wrote the Pips report, or did she.

OUCH.

I bit my tongue with the answer I wanted to give her.

At any rate, the class is back at working on a big assignment. It's speech time in this town; and why not make it a TAD easier on all the chicklets in grade 3, by handing out ideas, with an obvious format in mind, with clear directions as to what 'THE TEACHER' is looking for. That couldn't possibly happen when the lovely teacher person that she is, believes that a speech has to be ABOUT something that involves research. RESEARCH, AND MORE RESEARCH. Holy freaking smokes. How about throw out a format of what a speech looks like... and go from there. The high achievers and black and whites will want facts, facts and more facts. The more facts the better, except with an added punch, as there is the expectation that the speech has to have a little zip in the words to keep the rest of the classroom awake while they fumble through 'THEIR SPEECH'. I am not certain of what the goal is here; public speaking or a research project presented with a smile.

Earlier today while picking up the boy early from school for god knows what reason.... the lovely and loud grade 3 teacher spots me... and stops me... that's always scarey... "the unexpected stop". GOD........I just wanted a quick in and a quick out... hmmmmmm. ANYWAYS.... the lovely and loud teacher then starts talking all about PIP's project, and she is behind, and the lovely and loud teacher wants her to present "these certain details" because "they are interesting"... and on and on and on and on and on...........while standing, listening to her ramble I started thinking in my head... "well who's speech is this anyways?"... and if the Pip wants to interpret her "research" into whatever "details" she wants, shouldn't we just let her be.... because now I feel like pointing fingers at the lovely and loud grade 3 teacher and ask the same question "Who wrote Pip's speech?"

It's a very scarey cruel school world out there..... don't be scared, be very scared!!!!

Beep

There's something eerie associated with the sound of a beep. Especially when it comes from the Carbon Monoxide detector, in the LATE middle of the night. I then have to have the great internal thinking debate.. am I tired because it's the middle of the night, or wait... am I tired and sleepy because .......... I AM BEING POISONED TO DEATH!!!!!!!!!! On that thought, I got up, made some coffee, and continued to leaf through the book with 1247 pages that I mistakenly got out of the library. The book was kind of interesting, if you are really really really into American History, which I don't mind, except that I am not really really really into it. I read as much as I could, and besides... I have to return it today, so I did flip through every single page in the book, even if my eyes didn't catch every word in the book, at least my fingers got a work out.

Ah ha!

So here I am..... I was wondering where I have been hiding. I haven't been far, but I have been away. The hours and days sometimes seem to run into the other, and before you know it the favourite haunts are quickly forgotten. To re-aquaint myself:

Hi, my name is Deanna, and I have been coming here since June of 2004. I can't help it, this place calls to me, where I then speak to it, or in this case, type at it.

I found this yesterday... and it was free for everyone.

. or those that chose to part take in it:

Blue skies, a dry park bench, and smiles.

From the booklady lender....

by Kaye Gibbons

You are so smart....

Smart girl!

That's what I had to say to the girl that answered my phone call today to the people that hand out money. I had questions amongst questions, and smart girl answered every single one of them. Smart girl was so smart that I didn't think that I was calling the same number as I called last week, where I got Micheal the Moron answering only random questions, and most certainly none of my questions sparked any information sharing from him.

hot cold and other things.

At 0913 the house is far too hot, now at 4:46 the house is far too cold. It was just right earlier, when I was busy finding missing socks, and loads of other items that I had to do things with in the Pipsters room. Well, some of ther other things were: organizing her 15 tons of stuff and throwing out her home made maggot collection (made out of rolls of flat styrofoam), and New Years Party leftovers. I am certain she wont miss her newly formed maggot family, as Mother Maggie's Maggot felt pen face faded over time, and she only looked like rolled up styrofoam. I do believe mind you, the ultimate mission was to find matching socks. I managed this, plus I also reorganized a top drawer that houses the problematic socks that somehow find great hiding spots in her room.

I am freaking frozen, I must go fiddle with things that bring about warmth.

OK, moving on.....

whew....

Colour, in the knick of time. The badly faded quad-coloured head of hair needed some extreme attention... and it finally got it today. I now have one colour, for the one personality, that I sometimes possess.

In other enlightenments... I have had a litre of juice in the fridge, it was cranberry apple cider. Interesting that I finish up the container a while ago... and read where it says to "serve warm". I am not sure where the word "cider" escaped me, and I managed not to clue in... but I did think it was rather interesting how the cider people started making cider served cold, (except for the alcolhic kinds that is). The pipster even enjoyed a couple of glasses.

ho hum .... what to do.....

Well here I am .... sitting with my feet up, on the stereo speaker for the computer, relaxing... listening to.. none other than the pouring rain, and the crazy hysterics of the chicklets ACTUALLY PLAYING TOGETHER, in the den. The husbandman is just finishing up doing the dishes from the dinner that he made earlier. I really wish I could keep him around more often during the day. What am I thinking.. I think I should go off to work, and let him be the stay at home person, he is much more of a "one thing kind of guy". He just informed me that all the laundry was done as well. You have to like that. I am much too scatter brained for ho-hum chores of the daily kind. I go off on a tangent of some sort... and then forget what I had started in the first place. So ... I am thinking... if I call his employer and have him "de-employed" for one day a week.... I could still do all my useless tasks of the day, and then have him at home to do all the "useful tasks for the week" we would still come out money ahead... because I am thinking that I need a housekeeper for these kinds of chores.. and he seems to be fitting the job description way more than me.

So, how is it that it's not quite 7:00 PM and the Pipster is in her pyjamas, in her bed and playing with a "noisy" math addition thingy.... she thinks she is staying up late tonight. I can't believe that she hasn't even looked at the clock. She is one silly princess.

Speaking of silly princesses.... it's my friends birthday today. How's this for a friend... I bought her a chocolate bar with the title "Mr. Two-big". I think that is better than flowers.... well, I think it is at least. She has two teenaged daughters that will probably inhale all of it, leaving her a whiff of the package if she is lucky, and then they will burn it off in 3 1/2 minutes... compared to my friends elderly aged metabolism...... but then again, she's of the slim sort too, so nobody will see that she had "Mr. Two-big" for her birthday. Unless of course she wants to tell someone that LARGE feat.

Announcing....

A garage sale... coming to a street corner near you. Yesterday while I was busy being away doing workish things the husbandman got into the boys bedroom, with the boy, and 11 years of amassed "things"... were organized. Now my kitchen looks like a butchered santas workshop. There are parts missing pieces, and pieces missing parts. All the boy can see is dollar signs in his eyes... because he is selling every last piece of toyville that he owns.... or so he thinks. He politely asked me not to say to him "oh, you can't get rid of that.. you used to love that". I didn't have the heart to say to him... that I USED TO LOVE THAT. Which is why now the reason I have a toy factory in the kitchen. AND... the most amazing thing happened yesterday.... the boy was able to put clothes in his closet. A foriegn idea... something that I am still getting used to.

The larger more dangerous feat of the year may still be in the works. The husbandman may tackle little Pip's room. OK, someone may deserve one big trophy after that one.... I will wait before I rush out to the big trophy store until I see that job in the completed stages.

In the meantime... I think our little 1365 rancher is lopsided.... with the unearthing of 20 zillion tons of toys out of the boys room... oh wait that is the reason I can see the horizon again from out of his window... I so get it now.

Christmas is over but....

Hamsterson insists on singing his favourite tune of the Christmas season, although now it is January, he claims he is warming up for the "upcoming festive time". The song that stole his heart "last" year was Feliz Navi Da... or how ever we are wording that song today. I know in my mind it isn't spelled like that at all.....

Many moons ago...
When I didn't live in this house, but way way across town in another house......
And a couple of moons beyond that....
Or more to the point: when I was YOUNG.

The Christmas Season would come flying into the homestead with decorations and christmas trees, and of course Christmas music!

There was always the one song that had me perplexed, well generally confused me really. The lyrics had something to do with a Mexican family, and their mother and a mexican prison. Year after year I listened on our tinny little stereo about the Mexican family plea to the officials at the mexican prison to "RELEASE MOMMY DOT," because all her loving family wanted to do was: "wish her a merry christmas". Now this confused me, why on earth would they only want MOMMY DOT home at christmas time, was she the only one that could stuff the turkey? What about the rest of the year, who did the cooking for them then, and why didn't they want her home the rest of the year? Every time I heard "RELEASE MOMMY DOT" on the radio, I envisioned this family sitting at the entrance gates with big white signs with the writing: "Release Mommy Dot!", "Merry Christmas Mommy Dot!" on it, and the Mexican prison guards shaking their heads and their bushy handlebar mustaches hiding the frowns on their faces. I guess Mommy Dot has still not been released from prison because I am still hearing the song on the radio, but funny enough they have changed the words....

People this week:

The other day while I was reading the paper and waiting for a "Box A" at my favourite Sushi place another person approached the "spot" where the papers were kept. The fellow ruffled and ruffled through the papers, frothing and flipping and shwooshing and fluffing. He didn't stop, until his hand reached the edge of my paper and he tugged, then asked "Are you done with that?". I shook my head and said yes.

Earlier into the other day, I went and purchased an inversion table for the bulging disk husbandman. It was a rather big box, that I dragged up from the back of the store. At the checkout I asked for some help out. This little lady with two telephones and a clipboard, and an assistant came to my rescue. She tried picking up the plastic strap from around the box and squeaked "ouch". "Oh, my employee can not help you, she might hurt her back, and she can't hurt her back because she is too valuable of an employee to have off", the two telephoned clipboard girl says. Then she unleashes a microphone from someplace hidden and quickly talks into the end of it. "Someone else will come", clipboard girl says, and disappears into the depths of the big box store. I stand for a while, (luckily I'm being patient probably due to the stupid factor of being in the dentist chair earlier). Eventually I say to the checkout lady that I am going to move my 16 year old SUV up to the front doors. Upon returning, I am barely through the front doors of the place when another new person starts on to me about how I need to bring the receipt in to show the girl that I have actually bought this item. OK, actually she is yelling this at me. I walk the 22 steps closer to her, and the box, and to a nice cashier girl that has witnessed the whole purchase/helping event. She nodded her head in agreement. Yes, just another day at the STUPIDSTORE. But I have to say, this store is clean and organized, and seems to have an abundance of staff willing to help, maybe kind of.

TTtttllling

That is the sound, and the feeling and the very word that I can use to describe how my turn in the dentist chair went this morning. This went on for an hour. I tttllllinged for an hour, and have made an appointment for 3 months from now, to do it all over again.

I don't know why I tttllling at all. I use enough "crime fighting" cleaners and mouth weapons to keep the placque bugs away, but they seem to like me, and no amount of ttttlllinging will keep them away.

I also want to know why I suddenly turn stupid when sitting in "the inverted position". They ask me to move my jaw to the right, and I have no idea which direction I should be heading in.

Today while out I stopped to find even more vitamins. Now I am looking at bottles that strictly say 'MEMORY'. Although, I was distracted from the shelf, and moved on. I forgot to buy memory pills, but I have a brand new beautiful tube of REVLON Plumberry 16 hour lipstick. You see, there is no memory in that, you put it on, and forget about it.

At the cakewalk factory.

Nothing is ever as simple as it seems. My friend would like me to clarify whether the Assessment on my house is correct, or incorrect. That way, she would know if her house has been incorrectly assessed. But she is not willing to call the assessment people and find out if her house has been assessed incorrectly, because that may just end up costing her money. In the meantime, I have already told her that I am not interested if my assessment is wrong only due to the fact that it will become a big long EVENT. So, if we are paying too much in taxes for our over assessed house, then so be it. WE know two things in life.....

I had to read this... I requested it from the library, and waited forever to read it, so I couldn't turn it away. Not that I didn't know what was going to happen. I can say.. that the movie was pretty much as good as the book. Part of the fun about reading the book was visualizing the parts from the movie. Most importantly.. you have to love Colin Firth, and Hugh Grant!

I will be the judge of that!

I am left in a difficult thought process. As I was busy diving through a "lost pile of papers" locked up in a plastic bag which also included old receipts, cards (that never got given!) and assorted envelopes; I managed to find 50 bucks. Yae....! 50 bucks! Just what I need. The reason that "I NEED IT" is the lovely mother, stalker sister and the SIL are going "not quite away, but away from the homesteads" for not quite two days. We are going shopping, in a non shopping way. Actually we are going looking for the "perfect" machine to plunk some pennies into. The big question now is... I am sure that I have spent that 50 bucks on whatever that 50 bucks was in the envelope for. I am just certain of it. So, do I just go ahead and help myself to it and use that for my spending money for the weekend. ..... or, do I do the morally right thing and give the husbandman half of the 50 bucks. I already told him it was there. I am thinking... (((tap tap tap))) I am going to give him the money now, and then just borrow it back from him again next week. There, now that's good judgement.

The cake of the 21st century.

When it was our birthday when we were kids, our mother would bake us a birthday cake. She would always wrap up money in waxed paper, and neatly lay it inside the cake, and then ice it. It was very exciting to have a "money cake" for your birthday. Sometimes you would find a QUARTER, or two NICKELS wrapped together. The tradition for us has stayed the same except the denominations have changed dramatically! WE just had cake last week, and my nephew managed to find TWO toonies while eating his cake, and finished off someone elses. Lucky kid!

Yesterday morning the kind and everly so sarcastic husbandman asked me if I was going to bake a cake for the Hamsterson. He said that I should think about safety first, and any cakes that I would consider, should come from a bakery ONLY. He is such the bastardly fellow with POT STIRRING comments! Anyways, that is really OK, since the stalker sister, and my mother had plans for us yesterday, and it wasn't for me to be standing baking a cake for the lovely Hamsterson. Besides all of the extra coins that I happened along yesterday were not going to be stuffed into a cake, they were being personally escorted to the CASINO!

In the meantime, I had to consider my options of the day.. the boy had to get some lucky money for his birthday, and the cake wasn't an option. (And a card was just too boring) It struck me as his peanut butter sandwhich was being put together. Hamsterson has it all going on when it comes to these details of life. He came out from school holding his toonie yesterday afternoon and asked if his money cake was his peanut butter sandwhich. I told him it was the cake of the 21st century.

Happy Birthday Hamsterson.

This picture is all squigyish for a reason. I found my Hamsterson sitting in the dark playing his Gameboy Advance that the lovely stalker sister and truely wonderful grandmother masterminded together. I will now find my boy sitting in remote places with a little smile on his face, just him and his gameboy. He claims he is the happiest boy in the world. It's a good thing for great gift givers.. because when you have a mother that buys computer desks and bookshelves for birthday gifts.. you have to rely on somebody doing something right! I did get a smile from the boy, as he was happy that he had a bigger place for his book collection. 

In other realizations:

I have VACATION TIME again!!!

Oh yes, what a fancy thought it is. What a special feeling to know that there are vacation hours on the horizon... it makes me all warm and cozy inside. The seven day a week RUN cycle can be momentariy stopped for an actual week-end to happen. Oh what a feeling ! Maybe that is what Irene Cara was busy singing about once upon a time.

Miss Blondie

 

Sorting out the past.

With the swift arrival of the new year, it has now come to my attention, that last year was last year. I need to do something with all of the leftover papers from last year.. and quickly, because now with the new year, there are new papers to be had! I now have papers scattered and strewn all across my table top and counter space. I am not quite sure what to do with them. I would like to wrap it up in a big bag and put it somewhere... but I can't do that. I need to file it all neatly away for some important moment when I will be required to look back at something. I know I could go through things on the scale of importance, and that once again leads everthing to sit in one big container. The sad part is.. this isn't the bills from home filing sorting either. All of this paper filing CRAP is from my Stroke Group. It's too mind boggling.. and more importantly... BORING!

In other paper news that is not so boring at all: I went the other night and bought myself a plastic storage container with wheels that (now) houses my 15 BILLION PIECES of scrapbooking supplies. I also have a secret compartment ready that has a dirty hypodermic needle that I will poke myself with if I purchase one more item for my scrapbooking endeavours. OK, I don't have the needle, but I will stick myself with a pin if I bring home one more item, before I use up the supplies that I already have. Not only do I have this wonderful inof lovliness now taking up SPACE in my home... the stalker sister has bought the same one, and has filled it with her own scrapbooking supplies.

In other things from the past: I have had these for almost 14 days. The husbandman brought them through the front door on Christmas Eve, and they were inside long enough to be arranged and watered, and walked out the back door in the very same hour. I decided today to give the stems a bit of a "stem-cut", and I believe I may get some more time to marvel at their beauty.

You have to love brick buildings

Yes, a certain love for brick buildings (and even if they aren't brick buildings, but rather four walls with a cowbell.. it doesn't matter) .... that call children to the inside of them, where they are controlled by bells and adults that command respect, other than their parents. Yes, it's back to lovely school time. There's a certain amount of happiness in the voice of a mother as she bids her offspring a: HAVE A GOOD DAY AT SCHOOL! It was so mild this morning that we briskly walked to school today, we even made it before the bell. It has been a miraculous day.

While the chicklets were at school, the sister stalker found me... and dragged me out in that vehicle of hers that warms the seats... you have to love that. Especially when a cold front comes flying in, with lots of rain and wind. EEke.

In other useless details of the day that will impact me in the future, or when I am least expecting it: our house assessment arrived in our mailbox earlier. This piece of paper tells me that the value of our "building" (1365 sq foot rancher) and land have gone up close to $40,000.00 in the past year. Score one for the tax man.

Grind time

I am not talking about coffee either. It is time to face reality and have life back on track. So far I have managed for the Pip to have an extended bath, and have her hair washed and blow dried. That is already an amazing feat this early into the New Year. Now I am just trying to get her to go to her bed. Yes, a huge injustice after the last two weeks of fun fun fun!! The boy is suffering from the same indiscretion. Although I am letting him stay up until 9:30 PM, and will put up with his HOUR of reading, even though I will only give him a half hour. If I was a truly amazing mother I would have set both their alarms for the morning... well, on that note.. I will go in search of their alarm clocks. I can't stand idly by if I can truely be amazing. HA!

Pose for a pic, PIP!

 

Little Lady Pipster was the colourful scooter girl today!

 

My Boy is back!

Well, he wasn't actually ever gone anywhere, but it as hard to capture a picture of the good ole' fellow!

 

I found these a couple of weeks ago....

Then I went visiting to my friends place Susan and she had published a picture similar to this:

I missed the new year!

Here's a wish for all of those that take the time to visit this space:

A

Healthy,

Happy

and Prosperous

New Year !

I have only made two "resolutions" this year... only two, because a greater number than two creates great confusion and anxiety over promises made and promises kept. I will eat more salmon this year, and FIND the recipe for the soup diet. That's it. That's the two things that I can come up with. I have many more that I probably should come up with.. but these are the two that will be met with the greatest amount of success. Probably since I can't remember what I had for dinner 3 nights ago.. so I pretty much could say that I ate salmon all year long.. and not know the difference. Although the underlying motive is the smart factor that I am trying to regain. I will see, next new year...perhaps I will remember to write something on the very new years day. Who knows. In the meantime... I have to go and find the soup recipe that we once had.. and it's not that cabbage crap that everyone first thinks of!