This very morning, I stood in the parking lot at our cranky little school, and waited for my sister in law. She didn't recognize me... I was the woman WITHOUT a bag on my head. She was busily looking for a person with a big over her head, which is what I told her I would be wearing ... after I had talked to the prinicpal about my Hamsterson's great adventures about being "excused from classes for no reason other than being highly annoying by not understanding what was actually expected of him", which then lead Hamsterson a visit with the principal for the rest of the afternoon, which then lead to an explosion of details that Hamsterson vomited out of his mouth, which then lead to Hamsteron seeing the school counsellour, rather immediately. Now, me, being the patient only sometimes mother, waited to hear if the school was going to contact me, for any of the above listed reasons. This did not happen, which I found highly odd, and at the same time highly interesting, which was why the statement to the sister in law about the bag over the head... I just didn't want anyone noticing me after I had to go in and find out for myself what the heck Hamsterson was busying himself with at school. So the sister in law and myself headed off for a quick coffee. This whole time... I thought I was safe from the sister stalker.
As usual, stupid me. I am never safe from the sister stalker... she is always around, somewhere.. somehow. I even mentioned this fact to the sister in law, that the sister stalker would not be calling me.. as she was safely tucked up in her bed.. sleeping after her nightshift. OR SO I THOUGHT. I make it back into my vehicle, and my cell phone is beeping and vibrating and smoking through it's microphone...... aaawwwweeee. I see.. it's the sister stalker looking for me. I carefully hit the CALL button, and the conversation starts....
"Don't tell me you have real things to do today".. the sister stalker says.
"Yes, I do" I cringe through the phone.
"Tell me what they are" she inquires.
I list off a number of my jobs to do, and she cuts me off.
"Boring, boring boring and boring, I need some entertainment, I need some excitement, we can't do this, you have to come up with something better" she bellows into my eardrum.
"OK, OK," I say to her, "Just stay calm, I have some things to do at home, and then I will come up and get you... I promise.. things will be fun".....and I hang up the phone. My heart is beating about 31/2 beats a minute by this point (she doesn't really scare me)....and I say to myself ... "Jesus, she's a testy little wide awake stalker when she's only had one hours sleep...." as I drive home to do a couple of errands before the real tour of duty started.
OK, now the fateful mistake... I wanted her to read my LONGEST PARAGRAPH EVER, and now she has this blog listed on her favourites... and this was the one place that she has never been able to find me. I am doomed! If only the stalker sister would go to sleep....
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