Living on the quiet side...

As long as I remain here, in front of this computer screen... I will remain undetected, I think. Mr. Husbandman is busily folding laundry in our bedroom, as I sit here slouched quietly in front of this big bright computer screen... but as he is used to the familiar clicking of the keys.. if I stop now... he will investigate the silence.... and I can't let the silence separate him and his piles of laundry. He is just so good at doing these tasks late at night... it's almost as though I give him my OCDish tendancies late into the evening. ... and that's not a bad thing... so as long as I sit clicking ... he will not find me. I have a slight problem though... I have nothing to talk about.. and, the conversation that I was just having with two separate people on MSN have gone their own ways.. as I should. But, being the coward that I am.. I must remain here... to stay safe from the piles of laundry. Mr. Husbandman has been by once to investigate who I could be talking to... but there was little info given out... it's all quite secretive you know... sshhh, he's coming...

I believe it's summer.

It's magical as to the how the weather dictates people's moods. I think people smile more in the sunny weather... like now. I watched people drive by smiling, while I was out for my walk with the Pipster as she rode her bike... although I could have been mistaken... the smiles could have been squints from the low-lieing sun. Even though it's February... it might as well be summer... summery things are happening... like washing vehicles, mowing lawns and BBQ's. Of course non-summery things are happening in my home.. such as cooking a pot full of rice and an oven load of chicken. That equates to more of a horror show. I may even figure out something colourful to go with this fine food delivery. Thinking of delivery.. what I really want is for Mr. Sushi-man to come and visit me... that's what I really want. He wont be returning until tomorrow, so in the meantime chicken and rice is as good as it gets.

Fruit Salad Dog

Over the last number of weeks I have been pondering the life of opportunity. What it brings to us, and in turn what may occur in life because of opportunity. This isn't on a worldly or humanly level, but rather a four legged furry scale.

I have been observing our furry little queen while she learns the ropes of reign and duty. What I have noticed mind you is that she may have missed out on many opportunities, while being second in command.

She talks to us now. Yes, it's all true. She does talk, and yet so did the other lovely evil beast. I think Cicely naturally talked more because she had the opportunity to make herself heard. Being of that queenly status you generally are listened to. The little one was too afraid to speak.. for fear of repercussions from the Eldest Evil Queen. But now.. with fears set aside of Cicely emerging from behind a babygate and grabbing onto the neck of Miss Ellpee... I believe this little one is coming into her own. She is still frightened by the mailman.. she did bark the other day. She ran to the door, barked once, and ran away. But she has found her voice in a gentle way.

When we found this dog 6 1/2 years ago she was afraid of her shadow, and she still is. She is frightened by the food that we give her... because in the 6 1/2 years that we have had her... I know she believes that all of us have tried to poison her hundreds of times, to no avail. I believe now.. that her Queenly Sister clearly out of the picture.. she trusts the food that we give her isn't going to mame her in any way. The reason I know this fact... once again opportunity... Our little Ellpee, the worrywort of furryness has realized that fruit tastes good. And in time, if you gather enough fruit.. you can make a salad.. and eat it all at once. She has come out of her shell with this opportunity in front of her, not only does she take the food (fruit), and then runs away to sit and slowly eat it. She hasn't had this opportunity before... we would give her things.. and she would run with it... only to turn her back.. and the older evil queen would have snatched it away and devour it.

Little Miss Ellpee had been given all the same toys, food, safety and freedoms that Cicely had, but it is only now that she can spread her furry paws and walk softly upon new ground.

Life is good for this little dog... she has the been given the opportunity to sit where ever she feels, talk to those she wants to converse with.. and eat fruit salad because she can. But for now she is sleeping... because that is what she does best... where ever she wants.

The Boys thoughts from the shower:

This is what he just came and rattled off...

Jughead has a needle nose
and wears a silly hat,
His appetite just grows and grows,
How come he isn't fat?

Fresh clean thoughts from the shower... I have met my competitor.

Brace me...

Today is the day...because the calendar tells me so. This day has been long off in coming, but has arrived with staggering efficiency. Thank you for that.

The big question is... do I make coffee before I go.. or buy it. There is no line up at my house for coffee.. that may be a possible solution to the question.

I have a list of things that I need to remember for today.. one of them is not the digital camera that I have been needing to purchase, that will have to be put on the urgent list. Speaking thinking / writing of urgent lists.. I have decided.. because Mr. Husbandman doesn't have a comment in the situation.. that I am going to purchase a trampoline this year for the children... that has been upped on the "urgent" and "to do" list. But both of these are not for today though.

Today is something completely different.

I've braced myself for today.. thought about it, pondered it, took a ride back in time, I even double checked the calendar. There's no getting around it... The Boy goes for braces... and the good and kind mother that I am... is taking him on a Pro-D Day... nice and early. There is something to be said for consistancy..!

The love that never stops:

I was talking to a friend earlier and she kindly reminded me of a story that I forgot to tell. Actually this is a true story... that happened because of a friend and a friend... if that makes any sense!!

It was Valentine's Day... and as a good wife I should either find a meal, or make a meal, or have a meal for the lovely husband that cleans the kitchen, does laundry, makes bread, and then prepares dinner and does other useless tasks that make a difference all the time. That's right.. a wife would find a dinner... somehow... so, being that kind wife... I did just that. Well, I did just that, after of course I had coffee with a friend, and she told me that she was preparing some fancy-Salmon-type-thingy.
"Oh, that's right.. it's Valentines Day.. so the "Thank-You" card I got him isn't enough?" I ask her in the Starbucks parking lot. My friend stands and stares at me...
"I don't want to know your thoughts"... I think to myself.
But on that note.. she brought to light a simple fact... making something for your hardworking husband is nice... OK, I'll go with that.

I immediately went home.. a number of hours later.. after I did some junk.. and found a roast that was defrosting in the refridgerator (the husband had taken it out)... and proceeded to cook it.. in only the way I know how.. until the thermometer read "Well done".. once again I thought to myself "Well done Deanna... you have cooked yet another well done roast"...

So, on that day filled with love, romance and gushy thoughts... my Mr. Husband man gets a warm roast, a Thank-you card... and last but not least... leftovers from the previous nights dinner that he made himself.... Shepherd's Pie... I may have fallen a bit short compared to my fancy-Salmon preparing friend... but I didn't want to put my poor Mr. Husbandman into complete shock... I'll save the fixins for a roast beef dinner for another night... we do things differently around these parts.. or at least I do... he must still like me.. he brought me flowers, and listened to me when I told him.. dont' buy me a card!

Living on the edge...

My hands hurt...from the vigorous raking in my backyard. There are many needles from the trees that have to be raked, so I can grow some grass, after I get rid of the moss as well, and it warms up, in another month.. but I have to rake NOW! And... I have never heard of such things like gloves, or soft handled rakes... no, not me. So now today, any attempts to play the piano will end up with a zero pleasant factor coming from the keyboard. Unless of course I make up some ditty about being stiff and sore.

Of other useless info being passed around the screens across the world... the little single Elpmeister dog of ours is playing with the kids in the backyard, with a ball.. on a leash mind you. This of course makes me nervous... since she is not allowed to be out and about doing things all crazy and dog like.. I do however think that she is getting used to be the only dog in the house... and the rank of queen, she surey isn't.. and she appears to be showing a great amount of fear when the boy keeps reading his speech to me over and over again.. which is about the dogs, and he keeps yelling PRANCE, PRANCE at the beginning of his speech. With that amount of name calling I think she may have thought this freedom bubble has burst. Luckily today, the boy did his speech at school.. so the sudden jerking of her head will simmer down... now that the name calling is done.

Love the blue sky.

It's sunny outside yet again oh yae
That for certain would make a great day.
Except for the fact that there were some issues..
about some little girl that couldn't put on her shoes.
Someone must have heard me yelling from there...
I practically lost my lungs as I ripped out my hair.
But not to be lost, the day is still young...
of course there's the issues with my sweet young son..
I won't even bother to try and explain,
That's an endless tale that goes on again and again.
But on a good note.. which I am able to write,
I added a fax machine via the computer last night.
This hi-tech addition will make a difference of sorts,
Of course not for the girl and the boy reports...
But, for now it is sunny, and a beautiful day,
I'll work hard to keep it that way.

Where has all the love gone?

So the girl is able to go to school with her little Valentine cards, all hand printed, and neatly tucked in envelopes and stickered up with barbies and flowers and all things pink...the boy.. on the otherhand is a different story. There is no love for him. NONE. I looked for love that was supposed to be around the stores... a number of weeks ago in fact, not just yesterday when the stores would be empty. There will be no love allowed for the big 10 year old boy. Even if you try and find it....it will remain unfound. Along comes the day for a Festival of Love... and all the stores are fresh out of anything that looked like it may have only "liked" someone. I had to think fast.... the Valentine's Party was this afternoon... and that's when it came to me....I will buy (not make!!!) heart cookies, and chuck them in ziploc sandwhich bags... and then the boy will be able to spread his fair share of the love that is offered on this day. WHEW !.... and in the nick of time. (Of course there's the BIG thank-you to the pair of helping hands that I borrowed for the cookie stuffing event...thiswas my coffeed up helper)... if I were to ever run a business with employees... I would be certain to keep the java flowing...

So, some fast thinking by the mother, and some fast help from the friend... and there was much love in this world to be had... Happy Valentine's Day to those that like this lovefest filled kind of day...I on the otherhand will be giving my husband a thank-you card... he deserves one, well he deserves that and more... but that's what he is getting.. oh, and thanks to my friend (hyped-up coffee helper)... she even reminded me that perhaps cooking a nice dinner for your husband on the love-filled day would be a good and kind wifely thing to do....)... I'm doomed.

Flashback....

So a story came to me, which I am not certain if I should put this in a vault, throw away the combination and just forget about it.. or just spill the beans. I choose the latter... it's a rather significant pitfall to my character, and should probably stop typing right now. NOW. Right now.

It was late into the evening last week, I'd say Tuesday night. We had been playing a number of tunes on the CD to help ease my Dad (Russ) into another world, if that's what it was going to take. I think my short-sighted attempt extended his life on earth... Without really realizing... or looking too carefully at the cover for the CD, I inserted Johnny Cash into the computer. The next thing I heard come across the speakers was this:

"Love is a burning thing -
And it makes a fiery ring -
Bound by wild desires -
I fell into a Ring Of Fire -
I fell into a burning Ring of Fire-
I went down, down down and the flames went higher.
And it burns, burns, burns -
The Ring of Fire, The Ring of Fire."

Then came the trouble of... what do you say to a person that can not communicate with you... he always really loved Johnny Cash... but considering where he was going with his now minute by minute life... I kind of felt bad... "Sorry Russ, didn't mean to freak you or anything... this isn't a welcoming song, or anything along those lines"...here.... for your listening pleasure try some Willie Nelson... he sings of nicer places...

I returned to the diningroom for more simpler and mundane tasks centred around the table and a puzzle that lay upon it. I did however give a detailed sketch of the proceedings that happened with the music... my very Catholic sis-in-law looked at me with shock and horror... my sister and mother on the other hand burst into laughter, which drew more shock and horror from the sis-in-law... I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't have shares in a candle factory... I know that the sis-in-law was going to light lots for the three of us that night...

I think her foot touched the ball... maybe. 

It's hard to set the camera for this fast action 

Here's my little number seven in an action shot.. or wait..or this the still life...anyways... you can see the similarity of all the pictures.. hence the confusion about still life and action. 

OH. MY. GOD.

Oh thank you dear husband for buying me a breadmaker for Christmas / my birthday... I never did figure out for what event you bought it for.. all I know is that I own one.. and you use it. At all the wrong times. Like now... it's 11:30 at night... and the loaf of bread is fresh out of the "maker"... and now somehow I am just simply "starving" for a fresh 72.7 % whole grain ( I made up the numbers) warm bread, with just a touch of "Becel" resting upon a lovely thin slice. Oh thank you... like I need to eat a piece of bread at this hour... but, since I will simply die before morning if I do not have a piece... I can see your masterplan has served you well... but I know your tricks, and I will "die another day"... for I am just about to get the biggest sharpest carving knife for hot bread you have ever seen... and quietly sneak off to bed... oh the torture...

Two cents:

Do you have a question... any questions... a thought that needs clarifying...just something that crosses your mind.. or you need an answer... well.. I am the person to come to.. What about a career change.. are you thinking of one..?? oh, and a difficult relationship, yes, I can have words on that too.

I want to know when it happened that I thought my opinion/comment became worthy?? Apparantley it has... by my logic that is... only because I leave "it" in so many locations. How do you spell out.... Kerr-reist!!! --- people pose questions to complete strangers.. and me, being a good strange of strangers feel compelled to answer, with all my heart thrown in!

Here's a good example... I just gave a whole bunch of answers to a sleep deprived mother of twins. Shit... I have never had twins... but somehow... I gave her a bunch of common sense solutions to questions.. and threw in a couple of facts about she wasn't depressed but overwhelmed by her situation. And I know this ... because... I read it on a computer screen. Nice....

So, somehow when I wasn't looking... someone slipped TWO CENTS in my wallet.. and I use it.. whenever the chance arrives. I am frightened.. by myself... what happens if I start handing out really stupid answers... to perhaps.. really stupid people... could there be law-suits for this type of stuff??--- This will make "The Province" headlines... "the word of the hour is... she's gone to jail"... those could be the next headlines... don't wait for the picture... my hair will still be having a moment of "badness", so there will be no picture.... just wait for the headlines.

I commented to my Dad the other night... as I sat with him alone...while he was rather comatose / locked in his failing body that wouldn't say enough is enough.... and I thanked him for the mountain of experiences that he has left me with, and for the insight that words can not express....

Go Pip Go!

Today I witnessed my girl actually running across the soccer field... boy could she run. She appeared to move rather gracefully from my distant view. Those legs were moving so quickly, they were a blur. Too bad it wasn't during the game, but rather the warm-up. So that was it... that was her sprint.. wasted to get warm. Of course I got some "still" shots of her during the game.. because she doesn't actually move while playing soccer... she waits for the ball to come drifting past her.. and the swarm of girls that file past her as well... but, she looks good while doing it.. and that's the important thing. She even looks good with her hair wet, as it was today as she "moved" herself about the soccer field in the misty blowing rain... because some people simply look ratty when they have wet rain hair... not the Miss Pip... her in her blondness looked good. Good thing we didn't play yesterday... because it was warm and sunny. Soccer and sunny don't go together. Especially around here.

Hard at it:

With the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders (and my families)... I am venturing forth with all of the bizarre details of my daily doings....I believe my brain may have gone into overdrive and is churning out ideas that have been stifled and shelfed for quite some time. I am once again able to think and organize thought processes for longer than 5 minutes into the future. With this next caption you may think otherwise...I wrote this to my other friend Lisa this morning:

Good morning lady...

Thanks for making my life simple... with that technical name of yours, here is the reason:
So I have this other friend named Liesa..... instead of just calling her up and asking her email address.... I do a make work project... of course I can't remember how to spell her name ( I have been prone to forgetting the ie/ei version to that difficult name and have mixed it up for years)... so I email a bunch of people yesterday (with a bunch of made up addresses with the name Liesa attached) asking if she is the Liesa that I know...and all the emails go through.... so someone out there might be the right Liesa person... so this morning...I get back a bunch of emails...thanks for writing but wrong Liesa... in the meantime I called my friend.. gave her my address... and I got an email from the Liesa that I know, including a bunch that I didn't know.

You couldn't have made it through the weekend without knowing this highly intelligent story... glad to be keeping you alive. he he he he...
Deanna.

Whats the name of that song??

So, this week was rather long and torchuous.. is that even a word? Well, whatever it was exactly that and more. Details of events will be spared to protect those faint of heart... not that there is anything really faintable... but you never know who's cruising the screen at any given time.

I will say something... at one point... I was crying and laughing at the same time. It was awful, and then awfully funny. It's not good to put me into high stress situations, and then let me deal with them in my head... because that's when things go awry. It's these kinds of thoughts that begin to unfold.... and for the record... I am really NOT crazy.... you may think differently after reading the next part...

We were at our parents home with our Dad, (which I liked to call him Russ or Rusty, depending on the circumstances)...patiently waiting as he moved from our world into the next world.. and we had put on some peaceful music. We had some of Neil Diamonds Greatest Hits playing... and "Cracklin Rosie" was streaming through the speakers... so I begin to think... "This is a nice one Russ, you have always loved this song... wouldn't it be nice to gently slip away listening to Cracklin Rosie??... go ahead my good father, I'll be seeing you"..softly crying..... Nothing happens. Along comes Unchained Melody with the piano, then next it's Chariots of Fire. Once again in my head I start talking to him... "Well, what about this one Rustyman... I know how much you liked this one... it would make a nice exit scene for you....you've run your own marathon and have come to the end, it really does sound beautiful...". Not this one either.. alright then..... Janis Joplin begins to play and "Me and Bobby McGee" filters through the room. I try not to stuff the kleenex up my nose...."Christ Russ, somethings got to grab that heart of yours and make it stop...it's really not a bad way out with this one"...I begin to yell in my head. What about Willie Nelson.. does that do anything for you... as "Georgia on my Mind" makes a move on the Rusty fella....as he remains in this world...so once again I speak in my head.... (only because the rest of the family was sitting in and close to his room... and it wouldn't really be good to be going off the deep end at this point.. it's just not good...)..."OK Russ, I have to admit something here man... these songs... they're just killing me here...what's that song anyways.... "killing me softly with your songs or is it words....no, don't get back to me on that one"... I continue with the self-talk inside my head business... "because these songs are killing me here....I think my eyeballs might just drift down my cheeks with all the tears....if you could just back to me on the one that you would like to exit this world with... I will do my best to fill that one last request...." I waited. Then finally... finally I spoke to him.. from my head... once again... silent self talk is the safest way to go...it's easy to look crazy at these times of family crisises... "well these songs don't seem to be doing the job, and we have already done two rounds of the beautiful piano music, I have been through about two dozen kleenexes, and I have to pee....I guess we will have to try again a later date Rustyman..." excuse me while I go get more kleenex.. and we'll do the scene over again.

The story has all changed...

I am still the Queen of the Cards... that is, I'm sending out cards of thanks to those that helped over the last number of weeks....so if someone receives a birthday card in the process... it looks like I plain and simply ran out of the blanks and thanks. I am a bit on the confused mark though... do husbands qualify for thank you cards?? This man that resides in this home is truely remarkable.... the whole weekend while I was gone, he had the kids do more than I could accomplish in a week with them. On that note... I will be calling my mom and telling her to clean out my old bedroom... I'm moving home..! It's clear to me now... I am the chaos that reigns here... Moving on....

With the loss of Cicely our evil but beautiful and loving German Shepherd I thought I was going to have the opportunity to give our failing vacuum cleaner a little respite. Not the case. Our newly queened nervous nellie Ellpee dog has been trying to reincarnate her much feared evil step-sister by the volume of hair she has been shedding endlessly the last couple of weeks. I think it would be polite of her human friends in the home to quit calling out Cicely's name, that would be a start. I have also noticed that Queen Ellpee is scared of the dark. If we don't get her outside before dark... there will be no business done, until the lights have been turned on for the next business day. Great, our new guard dog needs a night light.

The Queen of the Cards.

I will temporarily crown myself as The Queen,.....but first a sidebar....

The newly crowned furry queen is kind of stepping up to the plate. She is beginning to show signs of her jeweled status. She barked the other day when someone knocked on the door. I am still not certain if it was a bark to be feared or a bark out of fear, that is still being worked on. She may be perfecting her bark at this point, or is confused by the barking protocol. All the same it came across as a bark, and a gallop through the kitchen. By this point I believe that is when the change of heart set in which produced the sudden skidding of her paws across the hardwood floor heading towards the front door, which was met by an about face turn hi-tailing it past the door answering person. Where she safely stood behind one of the kids, as her tail wagged. We have a ways to go.

On that note... I have to go.... this is to be continued... so for now the queen of the cards tale has to be put on hold....

A journeys end.

A storm was approaching, and we knew it was near
We could see the rumble, but no sound could we hear.

We were uncertain as we ventured out to sea,
We knew it was a journey, that simply had to be.

All of us stood strong among the churning waves,
As it crashed all around us, but none of us would cave.

It battered us about, and it tossed us to and fro
Leaving us wondering in which direction do we go.

We gathered our senses and remained on our course,
Keeping to our plan, and not to look back with remorse.

The blows hit us hard, and indecision set in.
Unsure of the next wave, and where it would take us then.

We knew this journey would come, and with it would be a storm
We weren't certain of it's furry or in what exact form.

We had a very precious cargo, that required some work to deliver,
But we had the courage to do it, and not a single chin did quiver.

The days and nights were long, as the storm continued it's throws
The cargo remained safe, as the crew took the blows.

At one point it seemed forever, that this storm would never end
When the decision was made, not another day like this that we would spend.

The crew set their sails and battled their way through the storm,
Aided by another figure, of not the humanly form.

A peaceful presence fell upon the crew, as they traveled from the night.
The precious cargo was delivered from the earthly lands to the heavenly light.

To the journeys end.
Rest in peace Russ. (Deanna's Dad).
April 8 1938 - February 2 2005

Worried about the weekend

I'm very worried. Too worried for words. The week-end is coming... or more like it's here. Friday afternoon 4:34... that's weekend enough for me. Clearly the weekend has arrived.. and now I have to live through it... the two days that include Saturday and Sunday. Perhaps some worry juice should help me through this rough patch. Now I have to figure out what kind of worry juice to ingest....the troubles.... a whole weekend off that includes Saturday and Sunday. I probably will go through withdrawal....best get more worry juice for that little roadblock.

I have found myself.

It's all true. I was looking around different places.(bloggish types you know).. and there I was. That got me to thinking. Why would I be there? It's interesting where you can go to find yourself. But I will add that nothing seems to make anymore sense finding myself, I am still quite capable of maintaining a life lost in chaos! Trust me, it makes no difference. My hair even looks the same... two toned in all the wrong places. I will have to continue to work on that...

On lighter notes... I have noticed that the darkness doesn't show up around these parts until about five fifteenish.... and that's a good thing... I enjoy staying in the light. Some people may walk towards it.. and then, maybe not.... Light means many things... you can still find things at five oclock in your home, your children can run amuck in the streets later into the day, outside chores can be procrastinated even later now, it's closer to springtime with the light, and most importantly I will be able to plant a new lawn outback... it seems the crows are no longer interested in the soggy mess that they have accomplished. AND.... the tulips are on their way up. Must go... the light and fluffy muffins are ready in the oven!!

It's the single life for me.

That is the song that Miss Ellpee has been singing since Sunday. She is the dog in charge now. On Monday she had that title handed over to her as I shut the door to go to my group. I listened at the front door, while the lonely Miss Licky ran around the house crying. She has never had this much freedom in this castle of new found Queenliness. She is apparantley rather nervous with her new found status. She will be required to learn the routines of "The Evil Queen" herself. Although there was no teaching involved with that one, Queen Evil managed to be home-schooled all on her own accord. Little Miss Ellpee doesn't strike me as the brightest lightbulb kind of dog, and never has. So, things like the postman will go unnoticed and of course then, unbroadcasted. I now no longer have a doorbell, as Cicely took that upon herself to make up for a defective home builder. I do however have silence with an occasional cry. The strangers at the front door will now be welcomed with a little cry and a wag of Ellpee's tail. Lucky me.

More things to note about the single dog life situation.... there are no more baby gates to move about the house. I don't have to wonder where Evil One and Evil Two are when people come inside. The "dog dirt" load is now down to one. Vacuuming will actually make a difference now.
We will now have to clear the counters at all times with the new miss in the Queenly Status. This new Queen believes in scouring counters for any sign of food that potentially might have her name on it. (Including knives and forks that have had food on them... she takes them to her cage) This is one thing we didn't have to worry about with the Cicely Queen... she would have starved herself to death with kitchen counters loaded with food... she just wouldn't take it. Queen Ellpee has changed all that....she has given me a new slogan to live by "Don't leave home with this one". On a different note, I wont have stories about "Hissy and Licky", and "Evil One and Evil Two", "The Evil stepsisters", "The Queen and her not so loyal servents".... so the story factor has been shortened here. So now we have a silent queen among us... and I am sure that I will come up with some stories about that. Starting now.... Mr. Husbandman has clicked the nails of the new queen... and not only is she silent on the sound system (barking), her nails don't make her click. Go Ellpee go !!

The last Raa-roo

Please take note: It would be wise to read these words of advice prior to advancing any further. Here she is, the Prancer of prancers, the evilest of evil, the Queen of all queens... sorry liz... See that ball, that is her ball.. don't touch her ball.. she may walk up to you, and roll it towards your feet... but don't touch it.. she will snatch it and run away. That is her game.. she plays with you. She's also a vegetarian. Everything under the sun is hers, and hers alone. I will be able to have an actual garden this year, and not a Prancer-snack-fest going on. Everything that resembles cucumbers, peas, beans, carrots, lettuce, green and red peppers, zuchinni, pumpkins, strawberries, and apples.. all hers, don't dream of picking it yourself... because she will have already done it for you. And.... dare to kick a soccer ball into this backyard of ours... her response..."thanks for the snowball, even in the summertime... too bad it didn't land in your yard... It's mine now". There is no getting back the soccer ball from this dogs jaws. Her toys are her toys, and don't dare touch them... she had many in the backyard that she gathers around her... and then she sits.... in the middle of her dogmade kingdom.. and waits for some poor unsuspecting soul to try and touch one of her prized items... and then pounces forward, to retrieve the article in question. Dinner may be a little troubling for those that do not know her... she gives the raa-roo, (which is how she barked when she was just a littlepup), and we made her continue to talk like that... and then she immediately dives in, grabs a mouthful... and then runs across the room and spits it all out, then eats it. Interesting. Right now she up sitting on her very own cloud... daring other dog souls to rest upon her pillow, waiting for snowballs to bounce her way. A word to the wise...she may be gone from these earthly lands... but she will make her presence known in the heaven's above...you've been warned. And Prance... try to get along with the others... certainly you will find someone that you like up their... see you Cicely.
Oct 1993 - Jan 2005

Friday confessional

So the Mr. Husbandman has been after me to write a blog. Interesting..... I thought I did that... a little too much. Well apparantley not. There has been some talk of late about a certain number of shampoo bottles around the rim of the tub.

There are lots of shampoo bottles around the rim of the tub.

I will be sure to tell him that I have written about myself on this blog. It was informative and enlightening to all those that will read it. He will be so delighted in the fact that I have written something rather sinister about myself. He will never find this blog to find the actual truth... which is about to be written about him.....

He bought another bar of deodorant today... he told me that he was starting his collection all over again... I will be on the lookout for this one!!!

It get's better:

Mr Husbandman and myself went out for lunch today. Together. At the same time, at the same place, across from one another. I almost asked him for I.D. when he sat down. Instead I asked to see his left hand... no wedding ring... that was the clue... "Your'e clear, please proceed and sit down, I believe you to be my actual significant other".

He sat. We conversed about life and other junk, and gambling dates, and torcheress aftereffects of putting hard earned money into electronic machines and stuff. Infact, we talked about the Pickaspats. Yes, we did. The actual conversation isn't all too relevent...(about juggling schedules if you must know).... but it's the final comment that is the clincher......"That's it"... Mr. Husbandman says.... "I should marry Mr. Pickaspat, he can work, I will stay at home... and everyone will be happy"......

Mr. Husbandman almost turned into Mr. Humourman at 1:30 this afternoon. This was a close call. He is still at home with me this evening.. but I am not sure if he may up and leave me... at any moment... for Mr. Pickaspat....

Free swimming lessons.

Yes, that's right.... it's all free.....swim to your hearts content.. and if you can't swim.. don't worry, you'll swim anyways!! Your shoes will swim in the streams that have been built on man-made sidealks. Your clothing will swim in layers of wetness... and of course your hair will be swimming in hair products, or raindrops. Your socks can be wrung out to give yourself some bathwater... if you need it for later. As you walk through the streets.. you will wade in a sea of colourful umbrellas. And, if you are not very careful.. your face will swim in a mask of mascara.. because of the wall that wetness that is streaming towards your face. Forget showering... it's doing enough of that outside, just stand with your bar of soap.. and lather away. I think it's actually easier to go for swimming lessons... you probably don't get as wet as everyone is right now.

Feeling parched?

Is it dry and hot where you are?
Has humid turned into a swearword?
What about your throat...will your thirst ever be quenched?
Does the idea of going outside bring more hot flashes to the already hot and sticky areas?
OR-
Are you having visions of cool rushing water around you?
What are your thoughts of driving around the countryside *including local highways and on-ramps to the freeway* with your car stalling in a "puddle of water"?

If any of these thoughts have come to pass in the last number of days feel free to join us here on the westcoast... and soothe that irrestable urge to stomp through puddles with your brand new rainboots! You will have your chance, perhaps... you should just go for a swim instead... but don't forget to bring your wetsuit ... Well, what about just enjoying some gold ole' winter rain festivities... because if you have come up with some... then come on over and share the fun. WE are not having any fun right now. WE are drenched and will probably remain at this level of wetness for the next week. One foot of rain is expected to fall by Friday.

Joy oh joy! Oh, and another thought.. hairspray just doesn't work well enough in the rain. Now I am going to have a plastic head-hair-do. It is so not going to be a pretty sight. Mousse, gel, hair smoother, and a blowdryer will not be able to control the forces that are falling from the sky at mock speed.... I need to invent a method by morning.... I have a fork... perhaps I will go with that idea for a considerable new look... I am at least hoping to get some volume out of it.

I wonder if I would feel the same.. if all of this could be a warm wetness, rather than this cold wetness...hmmmm... I do have a friend who is leaving for Maui on Wednesday for 7 weeks... perhaps I should test the wet warmness factor there....that would be a start at least!! Maybe I could figure out how those little paper umbrellas actually work...

Must stop typing now.. I am very cold... VERY COLD... although it is dry in this home... it still isn't warm.. must find heat fast. I am an unmeltable snowman.

And the gayness goes on...

Well, he is happily watching that show...that show.. something..... yes, Desperate Housewives. (Only after completing all of his self-made chores... dinner cookage and breadmaking..) these are the e-mails that I am sending out without him knowing...

... so the question was asked if I/WE (the latter which is not a usual request)... to go out with some friends... this was my responsse:

Ok... the commercials here.. and I am being met with resistance. He's scared.... very scared... I told him about the B-U-F-F-E-T. He appears queazy...I will work on him... I will break down his defenses.... I will lie to him ...I will try not to steal his money....he is just not sure about parting with his money.... perhaps I could suggest that he can monitor my money bloodletting that will occur.... perhaps I will have to perform some wifely miracle.... he he he he he he he he he he he. D.

Are you gay?

That was the first question that I asked my now husband, many many moons ago. How nice does that sound.... "Are you gay??" asks the silly girl with the amazingly weird but almost likable hair. (me). As of tonight I am once again asking that question......

How does he do it??? How is this man capable a building a the softest smoothest yummiest absolutely porportioned batch of white buns on this side of city... where there is no bakery close... with the exception of Save-on-Foods....

But then.... he also made his secret mashed potatoes... and they were a secret... I still don't know how to make regular mashed potatoes.. so he could be lying here.....

Then of course there was the dark gravy happenings also going on...I tried adding my two bits.. which clearly were handed back to me ...with a tisk included....

And.. two vegtables included in the meal.. which is big for him.. considering where we got the scurvey son and all....

Of course then the clean-up occured.. and I find that if I get in the middle of clean-up.. he get's a little miffed.. as in he constantly bumps into me... I think that is a sign that he wants to me bump out.. and if I don't do it in quick speed.. he will bump me off. Freak.

But then.... he's not done... then he sets his (mine) breadmaker... for another loaf of bread. Once again... show off... the whole while... the dryers on... and I certainly didn't do it.

That's it... I was right.. he is just so gay.

Can someone make them smarter?

I went to work today... and all I was hoping for was some common sense... from somebody, anybody... knock knock...right...

"We're sorry, all of the people that you wish for, have not come to work today, you will have to be stuck with all of the people that can not think beyond their noses, or can not preplan anything beyond the outside of a patient's room. Sorry for your inconvenience Deanna, perhaps today wasn't the choice of days to come to work, better luck next week."

I think my little universe of common sense collided with the massive amount of sleetsnow that was left on the streets this morning.

But then of course there was my friend... who had a headache for the better part of the day.. I was frightened to talk with her... because all of the other people were competing for her attention. In fact... so was her husband...on a normal non-head-ache filled day for her, I would have talked to her Mr. Husbandman.. but since she had the look of an impending headblowing event, I just stayed the course... and did what I did, whatever that is.

By the time I left today.. it was chaos. C-O-M-P-L-E-T-E chaos. I was quite happy to dust depart.. On a good note, I was able to get a good bunch of junk done.. that nobody knows that I do.. I just do it.

Of course... upon coming home..... I have been massively hunting for a new position somewhere.. but then again.. I have also tried to book a trip to Cancun, Nova Scotia, and Quebec. None of which happened either. I need to be rescued from this job... really. I do not have an ounce of patience to deal with the questions and peoples oddities and quirkiness to see through another year. Then of course.. there are the patient's families... and they are all freakshows unto themselves..... I will book my holiday (time that is... not holidaying as in "hot beaches") for as much as a I can spread it out.... this is going to be a long year.

I will of course fail to mention that I am OVERLY PICKY when it comes to finding such a PROMISING POSITION somewhere.... it has to be just the right hours, not over a bridge.. (well, at least one that takes a long time to try and just get to that is...)... and suitable for me.. I do not want to be someone's assistant. Did I ever write and say.. I really hate my name.. especially when I hear it every 2 minutes by stupid people. And that's all I will say to that nasty little statement.

So, my wish for this day... make all the people that are already smart, but came to work stupid instead..... find their brains, and then come back to work next weekend... when yet again, I will still be there... and we can try this all over again... I'd be willing to try. Or, am I just a sucker for punishment?? he he he he he....

Sleetman cometh

So, it snowed. woohwho. yae. snow. Yes, big fluffy flakes of white billowing snow. WHICH ALL CAME TO A CRASHING HALT. Boombangdone. Now it is sleeting outside. How the hell can it sleet... I think it should snain, no wait... instead of snaining, it should be sleetsnow, or what about sleet-and-snow-is-slain... (say that fast 3 times). That would be the fine mix of snow and rain... snaining out. Not here though... what started out white has gone crystal clear. Mr. Husbandman has already cleaned the sleet slash snow from the driveway. I think he is a snainer lover.

WE should all be green by the a.m. My next greatest fear will be the fact that THE GIRL will have to play soccer...in the snain sludgy fields. She already DESPISES the whole game... let alone play while it is snaining or sleetsnow. I am not sure how we are going to get this girl to finish playing out the season...so far, we have done well for the first two weeks of January... we haven't had to see any form of it quite yet. Except for the soccer coach man at school... he reminds me daily that the Pipster belongs to a team... some how I wish we could just lose ourselves from this team.. just because the girl DESPISES soccer way too much. She doesn't even know the word despise... but it clearly can be used to describe her and the name soccer in the same sentence.
She even has me convinced that she should no longer go... and I am not one to give up anything too easily.. at all...I mean... I have to consider how much the boy doesn't like Tae Kwon Do on any given day.. and yet.. I still make him go back, twice a week.... for the last 3 three years. One day I am certain he will be happy about me dragging him there... but I won't wait for that rainbow quite yet...

Meanwhile... I will continue to watch it snain and sleetsnow. Oh dear.

I have been a bit short on words this past week... but this might spark some attention to detail.... what is this? 

When I said pink, I really meant it! 

This is one of the hotspots for our bear friends.. and in the opposite direction of the previous picture... 

More of where the bears aren't. Interesting contrast with the white and green.. 

This is the photo when they were getting yelled at, you can tell by the shear terror in their eyes that they fear this evil lady! 

The cutest and pokiest chicklets on the face of the planet... it took the girl's teacher to yell at them... so I could get that picture above...because this is all I was getting prior....

FYI

1. Headaches surpress storytelling.
2. Life is unbloggable with a headache in tow.
3. I enjoy driving back and forth to the "bear watching" zone, even in winter...it makes the headache more bareable!
4. The normally red hued blueberry bushes in winter, turn pink in frost.
5. It's too windy around here, the snow can not live on tree branches.
6. I should wear shoes with grooves while picture hunting.
7. I don't ice skate, even with shoes on.
8. Regular scheduled programming will resume once I have ingested enough Tylenol Extended Super Strength to let my headache know to GO AWAY !!!
9. Washing windows doesn't work with a headache... it's similar to the sound of harmony balls rolling around in your head.. except there is little harmony.. just noise.
10. The normally silent silly little dog named Ellpee barks way too loud somedays.

Actual snow, actually falling.

It's all true. Snow... pure snow just drifting from the sky.. it is trying very hard to be very slushy snow.. which would naturally turn to rain... this is what "they" the forecasters keep saying at least. But for now, I get to watch it snow... and it's quick snow for that matter.... it's falling very fast from the sky. Like it's in a hurry to fall now that it has finally arrived. "Don't worry Mr. Snowflake, once you hit the ground you'll be stepped on, pushed around, kicked, shoveled peed on and redirected to be amassed into one of 3 large balls, only to then be called a snowman.. take your time Mr. Snowflake...because once you're down your done!"... Yes, I would prefer the snow to lazily fall through the sky. Perhaps having a lazy snowfall, would help to make a lazy snowman... that way... there will not be a big rush to see it melt, or be smashed or something.

I love the blanket of silence that comes with snow... everything becomes hushed and serene. Until the snow wrecker plowing trucks make their way through the neighbourhoods, and salt and sand have been strewn across the miles of roadways...and then the clean snow goes grey. Yae gray snow, with tiny pebbles attached. Oh my god.. just rain... bring on the rain!!!!!

Too early for real life..

But this is what has happened so far.

1. The girl woke up, yelling... yelling really loud. She actually wasn't calling me, but I went anyways... due to the fact that it was a "bellow" for someone to arrive at her bedside. She was all pissed that she couldn't feel her legs. So then she begins to yell at me more... "See, see they just have no feeling in them"... as her feet scramble beneath her covers. So I say to her in a 6:01 in the AM voice... "why don't you close your eyes and go back to sleep.. maybe your legs will follow".
2. Bad music on the radio.. which always wakes me up... because I then have to wonder if anyone else is enjoying this music, or this is how the rest of the world wakes up... and is still in a happy state when they arrive at work.
3. I let Ellpee out of her cage, and she has been ROARING around the house ever since. We live in dragville (the hallway), which is next to the smash-up derby, which is where Ellpee spends her time slamming into cupboards in the kitchen.
4. Then of course we have old dog who was sleeping in the den.. but with all of Ellpee's commotion... she has turned it into a bat cave... where the echo's of howl's and other strange noises are coming from (all being emitted by the evil beast herself). Now it's just the rhythmic sound of subtle crying. We are all very good at ignoring that sound.
5. Someone was up, down the hallway... but the noise I was hearing, made me stop typing... "what the hell is that??"... oh, it's the boy, doing his good-morning monkey awakening routine. Too scarey to comment.
6. I need to go and find my daily planner... it serves as a reminder of all the things that I need to accomplish for the day.. now I need to find it... otherwise their will be chaos.. I will remain at this post and continue to type a list.
7. Oh, and a final word, the lovely sky is turning a warm shade of redorange. The sun is about to rise, which will be overshadowed soon by the clouds that are coming... which have been promised to produce snow... but I am not holding out on that small fact. I was a sucker once.. but twice I would be an idiotsucker. Can't have that.
8. Best go prepare for real life.

And this is believable too:

So the man... he's a glassman.. sometimes I refer to him in a not so loving way... but rather, as the "assman"... but that is only saved for when he has totally pissed me off. Which is not very often at all...at all. I just like to write it... kind of Seinfeldish... in my own distorted way. Anyways, as usual, that's not the point to the story.

We are spending our typical night together, after the nightowl children are locked away into their rooms...... him... waaaaaay over there in the den, with the silly Yiper on his lap, and a baby gate for protection across the den door. And me.... all the way over here, in front of the computer... learning about facts about the world.. or spilling inspiring words across the waves.. (you can really just take your pick about what I am really doing.. some nights I read... but I have failed to give you that choice, and I lied about the inspring words...)So, the Dendwellerhusband man says to me.. "be done with the internet.. I need to use the phone". I fire back... "Bigshot... thinking you are all high and mightly with your pretend people you are needing to call..." he proceeds to talk with a few people, press the buttons on the phone claiming to ring in some Visa transaction... takes the German Yiper outside for the night, tucks her in her cage, ruffles up the evil dog, and then leaves...it's 11:37 PM... "Where are you going?" I ask Mr. Phonebeeper. "I have a date.. with a vehicle impact, don't wait up for me.." "Ya, right.... that is so believable... assman".... I say.

I like my husband... he is a man of very little words... but he has a big sense of humour. And he did the dishes again tonight.

Believe me when I say

I am not totally psychotic. Really.

I spend much time reminding myself of that very fact. It's not me, it's my environment.
It's just the things that set me off. If only I could convince the neighbours of this same fact, I might have it made.

If I could somehow declare that it's only "things" that are making me psycho... and that I am not this way permanently, nor do I need drugs or therapy to cure these psychotic ways. There is the "one" small problem of: the wildly abnormal crazy tri-coloured hair that didn't look like it was teased, and the painted on "not-red, but-rather-bright-in-colour-lipstick" and the fact that I gesture with my hands too much, and talk to myself. Really I am fine. I don't even have OCD, it's just fun to write that I have it... because after turning your head at least 3000 times while working from home.. it begins to make you wonder... complete boredome, or OCD. (Sorry all you OCD sufferers.. hopefully one day you will be cured, or at least 10 steps forward and 1 step back, rather than the 2 - 3 thing, and that you might figure out that your hands really are clean after the 27th wash.... in 5 minutes..and... don't worry about checking, you still didn't run over somebody with your car.)

I am not sure that all the explaining, convincing and reassuring on this side of the planet will be enough to get someone to blink a sign acceptance.

All these thing that turn me into a psycho lady are simple everyday "things and happenings". That all happen at once, all the time. I almost like to think that I have a neon sign painted over my head... 'Quick and Easy Psycho'. These things include 4 legs and are full of fur. All of this 1365 square feet of this house can turn into "Psychoville" quite quickly with the addition of two dogs, and the two dogs that I despise more than I despise the word.... OH, I just can't say.. it is just a gross word. So you are going to have to either guess, or think of the grossest of gross words and just fill in the blanks. No sooner than do we set foot in the house.. and the evilest of oldest dogs insists that she needs OUT. NOW. The phone starts ringing, and it's the newspaper man wanting to sell me a subscription for more time with The Vancouver Sun... blah blah blah so says the man.... hiss woof wine flop, hiss woof wine flop so says the dog.. then the pipster wants her friend from across the street over... can she, can she, can she, can she, can she, can she, ... then the boy starts up the PS2... and the whirling, slooshing, and pinging begins. The very second that the evilest of queens makes it outside, this upsets the youngest and silliest and most annoyingly loudest high pitched barker when she wants to be dog in the world, Ellpee. In truth, it can not even be classified as a bark, it's a yipe. YIPE, YIPE, YIPEYIPE, YIPE. YIPE. YIPEYIPE. (And she likes to call herself a German Shepherd... she should be called the German Yiper). You can't even make her stop. There is no stopping the German Yiper.

I think I am going to invest in a big huge fly swatter. I will slam it down onto my horribly old kitchen floor, (READ THIS MR. FIXIT... HORRIBLY OLD, DETERIORATING KITCHEN FLOOR) thus creating my very own psychotic noise "whoooosh-whip".... and hopefully stun everyone into attention. (That includes Mr. Vancouversunsubscriptionman)....after this.... I will have control of my Kingdom.. for another whole 20 seconds. Until the next whooshwhip prevails settles to the ground.

And I am having troubles comprehending why the neighbours would think I am psychotic. Hello, my name is Mrs. Whooshwhip, and I like to practice saying it alot. Yes, that sounds believable.

Somethings up...

There's wind. Alot of it... gusts, and gales and grey skies, and extreme cold... AND I am still waiting for the snow. I have a very bad tick that twists my head to the left... but now I need to lurk into the street lights to check to see if it ( THE SNOW!) has arrived... this OCD thing is getting far worse than anticipated!

Not only am I overly interested in the snow situation.. I have apparantly become quite interested to see when the chicklets will be arriving home from the neighbours.... (whose bedtime is at 9:00... on a late night).... it is 9:15..... I think the people have put themselves to bed... and have forgotten about the latenight guests.

OH.... and an addendum to yesterdays boast about the roast... now that's funny.... the boy asked his father "Is it good".. which was met with a "Uh huh". This precisionly thought provoking compliment will need to marked on one of the seven calendars as reference to the fact that I spent time "doing something" in the kitchen. (Especially when I plead my case once again to needing it renovated... that way I can have documented proof at the ready that "activities of kitcheness" do happen, by me).

Must go, my neck hurts.. I will meet the abscent children and snow face on.

OCD and me.

I have it. I have it bad...Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. That's me. I was doing OK, until the weather people told me it was going to snow. And snow it did, but then it quit. Now "they" (the weather people) have promised more snow.....so now... here I am watching for flurries, and accumulating centimetres, and gusting winds, and whiteout conditions. I keep looking out the window in great anticipation... to see the flakes start coming... but I keep waiting.... and I see nothing, well except yesterdays snow... and that's grown old now, it's no fun. I want to see a dump of white flakes that remain on the ground long enough to make a snowman, and a snowfort and a wall of snow down our driveway... before it begins to rain and gets washed away. This is what generally happens. So, here I am ..... working from home.... and staring out the window every couple of seconds....with a bad tick developing quickly....

In control of my universe.

I wish I was. I wish I was in control of my universe. I would never be "on time" for school, or work... I would be early. Today I was early for school, children and adults alike were shocked. I'm not even sure which clock I was trying to follow in my little house... they all seem to have their own beat. But we managed to... in spite of the snow and all.

Moving on... I re-calendered my home. So many calendars, and still so little days. According to my calculations I have seven calendars right now.. but that doesn't give me the two thousand five hundred and fifty-five days that it calculates to. Drat... now that would be a good year, with lots of accomplishments!! (Or failures, depending on what your outlook is). The important thing to remember... would be the fact that I would only age once in seven years... kind of like dog years, except the opposite. That's it! I will now start living 7 years, and age only 1 in that time. OH, now that is so cool....what woman wouldn't love this theory.. well then again, what man wouldn't want this same theory for their wives/significant others. (Men don't really count... sorry.... but the years are kinder to you gentlemen than to the ladies... baggage.... baggage... baggage......... ****grins****)

Yes, moving on..... I cooked a little roast today... speaking of time dimensions.. wish I could have done it with this one. Hmmmm.... so the thermometer compliments me and then points to "WELL DONE", and that's what I say... "Well done Deanna, you have just cooked a little roast". Now, the question is "who" will eat the "well done" roast is another story. My thought for the day... just be happy people... I actually used a piece of kitchen equipment, including two burners on the top of the stove. Really, I am over the top. It's a shame that Mr. Husbandman is not home... he and his "BOYFRIENDS" from work are busy stripping metal to give for a donation for the tsunami efforts.

I have become the purple lady of scrapbooking. I somehow have managed to acquire not one, but two purple boxes to "place my equipment" inside of... why purple... because. Some ladies where purple hats, I am the purple box lady. A dimension all to myself. I will add that it is a purple shiny box.

It has snowed here... for only moments in time really... but it has snowed. The people that are shorter (well kind of) than me, have been made happy, until their arms and legs freeze. I don't believe the boy owns a pair of boots.. I think he grew out of them last year.... and I am not sure if I replaced them. Speaking of replacing items... his snowpants are from at least 5 years ago... but I made him wear them today. "What's wrong with them... you're a stick boy, trust me, you won't be able to move anyways when you get back inside you will be so cold... this is just a pre-empt of the real thing!" Away he went... him and his scurvey ravaged body. Yes, scurvey ravaged I say... only because the other day, as only a good mother can plead.... "PLEASE BOY, YOU HAVE TO EAT SOME FORM OF FRUIT AND VEGETABLES, ....eventually.... you need colour in your life... loads of colour that will transform your humdrum self.. into something that radiates my son!!!!!!" I speak to him in a god-parting-the-clouds sort of way. He looks at me with his beautiful eyes, hesitates, then asks: "Do you think it could be scurvey?" "YES SON, YES!!, I didn't want to say anything... but truth be told, that's what it is!" I (kind of) yell. My boy now likes carrots, and oranges and apples, and is willing to try pineapple, and willingly eats bananas, and even looked at a piece of brocolli the other day. I am not certain when he will be cured... it may take a while for this one.

Wondering Chaos.

I am so glad it is snowing today. Very glad. It will settle the earth, or at least this little piece of earth that I reside in. I found that living here yesterday was chaos... whether I was the one who created it, or, it just happened upon me... I will never know. But I do know that the girl that was a complete "Queen of the Bitches", at the vet that I visited... may not have a job by the time that I am done writing a certain letter..... to whoever will read it at the vet. She was evil... she was eviler than when my two dogs are engaged in a neck to neck battle over life. That's how evil she was. Then, of course there was the lady at the picture store that couldn't figure out how I wanted my pictures laid out... she tried 2 times... and wouldn't let me touch my own pictures to show her. Odd again. Then there was the man at London Drugs... he stared at me while I showed him 2 pieces of camera equipment and shrugged my shoulders... he turned around.. and never asked if I wanted any help... I am a rather obvious help-worthy recipient. I left the camera equipment on the top of a little shelf.. I didn't bother trying to fight with the little boxes of filters back onto the hooks.... if the man would've simply helped me... they would be at home with me right now.. and not left sitting on his shelf. Of course there's the Purdy's Chocolate lady... with Purdy questions... "Would you like to buy 3 little chocolate bars instead of the 2?.......you will save 30 cents....." Me: " I don't need any more chocolate than those little bars thanks"... She continues, "well it really is a big savings.. you don't want to think about it?" I smile and tell her "It's all OK, the two little bars are fine, I don't mind spending 30 CENTS more". Of course there's the lady at the lotto booth that refused to take my $100 dollar bill... and she didn't want to use the scanner for counterfeit bills... not because the scanner didn't work, or was not plugged in... "she just didn't want to", is what she told me. I then had to go back to the Purdy's Chocolate Lady and pass off my legitimate bill to her. Last but not least, there was the camera store. A minute after I walked into this little abode... did chaos reign. The phone became an absolute god-damn nuisance, because it wouldn't stop ringing, and when it wasn't ringing it was beeping. Then there were a continuous stream of people looking for weird obscure items, asking questions about of all things... cameras, then of course there were the people that actually wanted their films processed. But then there was the little man that wouldn't leave the store because he wanted to talk to "Wayne", the fellow that was showing me crap for my camera.. and answering all my stupid non-digital camera issues. "Wow" I said... "this place is just bustling in here!" I said to the guy. Wayne the camera guy told me "It was all quiet until you walked in". Then the Visa machine broke. "It's best that I leave now" I said to Wayne. "Yes, please do... and uh, thanks for coming" he said.

One thing came out of yesterday.... I decided on a Nikkon 4100 Digital.

Happy 10th Birthday Big Boy. Double Digits forever. By the way.... what day did you get big?? 

Real or not... this was the day.

It all started so ... calm... and really, little did I know that I was walking into a zone of chaos.... but... since I need to finish my most favourite of books in 3 days.... this will all have to wait.

BUT.... onto other news... I have once again decided that the Digital Camera is back up for purchasability, much to the dismay of Mr. Giftbuyinghusbandman. Once again.... only a very smart woman knows how to handle the gift giving situation...

Speaking of gifts... the Mr. Husbandman is really enjoying the box with a lid that moves a marble around in a maze that we gave to the boy for his 10th birthday. Oak and steel... who would have figured in this day and age, it would have sufficed for a gift. (Nobody needs to know).

Must go and read a bunch of pages... this book of mine is non-renewable.

The first of the double digits
I have this boy... he is rather tallish, and funny, and musical, empathic and a thinker. He didn't start out that way... but over the last 9 years and 364 days... he has done some transforming... and tomorrow he will be into his double digits of life. I am in complete denial... he can't be... I remember him as a little guy.. doing just little things... like sitting in his crib...with his proud parents watching over him.

 

A whole new day

The trouble with sleeping at night is.. sometimes your head just hurts too much to put it on the pillow and make it stay there. It's like a dog just starved for affection... you look at them for just an instance and they are sitting on your lap. Kind of like this headache. You move for just an instant, an eyelash jitter.. and you can feel the reverberations travel throughout your skull down to the ends of your very bad crazy hair. And now it's cold. Very cold. The evil queen has taken up her usual residence on the leather couch in the den... and she has this habit of owning the whole space during the deep dark night.. .... and who am I to demand her to share it.

On top of the headache... Mr. Cleanandtidy was most disappointed that I wrote about him earlier. Very disappointed. He claimed that I didn't tell the whole story... as the story should be told.. as it was only 5:15 in the afternoon when I wrote the tall tale.... and he still had all of his evening chores to do before the day was over... and there would be another 15 details that should be added to the list of lists. Show-off.... that's what I say. NOBODY needs to know all that he does.... people may start sending him boytoys like speed boats, and fishing rods and weekend get-a-ways to fishing lodges.... just to have him come and live with them for a short spell.... this just can not happen. Besides.... he is too busy folding my laundry... which he claims to like folding... he said it is simple.... it's a case of "fold-and-stack". This would be due to the "no-rhyme-or-reason" to my closeting abilities.... it's easy on him to put things away. I told him I have gone to great lengths to keep my closet in a state of: "minimally-amount-of-work-for-him-as-possible". Seems to be working. I am no idiot when it comes to stuff like this.

By the way... this special message goes to the Pickaspats down the street....poor Mrs. Pickaspat, they got a new computer... which has been whisped away by the Mr. Pickaspat... to be fixed by a friend... I saw her today... she has a whole lot of shakes going on... from withdrawal from computer land.... I thought I saw a vision of Jerry Lee Lewis when I saw her earlier.... but then again it was cold out.

Money matters:

So, now that January has hit... so will the bills. Well, not really... that's what the invention of the debit card is....I spent everything I had until I had no more.. so if I get a bill... I will be so pissed... so pissed... like earlier today....

Right, the issue about bumping into someone's vehicle one Saturday evening while I was doing a favour for the sister... like looking after her chicklets while she had a Christmas Party at her house. Me, the wacko sister gave one of her guests a going home gift...(something like a door-prize)....but it's something that she can drive around with, show off.. to your friends and family... let's call it "one wheelwell of a prize", as in a dent above her left front wheel well. (Oh thank you 15 year old SUV). She didn't go through the insurance.. called my sister and told her the damages were at $1200.00. DOUBLE HOLY-SMOKING FREAKING FRIDGEMAGNETS !!! There was no god-damn way I was going to pay for a $1200.00 "dent" ... wouldn't couldn't.... this wouldn't be worth me working on Christmas & Boxing Day.. not good indeed. AAAhhhhh...... so that's what 3rd party liability insurance is for... I so get it now.....

Well, now I am trying to figure (on the mortgage calculator) out how "The King" is going to be free (able to go to get stuff) to build our kitchen / laundry room/ new deck out back / siding for the house / addition to the kitchen for a second family room... (taps her fingers) if only I could get my most favourite (almost) guys from that show... filmed in Ontario called "Real Reno's" to make their way out to BC... perhaps part of the problem would be solved... that would be a project would be started and completed.....not that they do that sort of thing... but they do build/renovate.... and "The King" is happy with their work... or so he appears to be when we watch the show... so that's something there..... excuse me while I go to the store and buy a scratch and win.... that's where I am about at right now. .... Must.... Keep.... Thinking.... "The King" is on such a roll....... Must... Keep...... Him.... Working.... (and not just at his day job).

Speaking of money... apparently the "cable people" would like me to pay them.... as I found a "Oh dear you must have forgotten us" letter in my magic mail basket. Best keep the cable people happy.... far be it for them to make us happy with good cable programming... perhaps that's not what I am paying for ... oh well... live and learn. While I was busy paying people on-line I decided "why not just pay everybody".... so happy January to all the people that are getting hydro bills, gas bills, telephone bill, and any other utility bills from me... happy paymenting to you all!!!

There will be no more talk of money... like I said I spent it all debiting it away in December. Now I can just write of it, or think of it... or spend magical moments planning my way for "The King" to make some good use of it. Best continue to think..

The girl was at her friends house today... and they did a play with cutouts that they made... she made this maid. 

A List of things done:

Some things that have been done around here: (the bulk of which today)

1. All of the exterior-house lights removed, all 700 bulbs.
2. A loaf of bread has been baked (thanks to the king for the breadmaker)
3. The laundry done once again... the boys bedding that is.
4. The kitchen, livingroom, hallway and been de-christmasized, or "unx-mased", if that's your thing.
5. The tree has been removed, and the tree stand disassembled.
6. The 5 boxes of Christmas ornaments and such have been neatly organized into boxes and once again into their containers.
7. The 5 rubbermaid containers have been removed and are now living in the garage for another 11 months.
8. The top drawer in the dresser in the hallway has been cleaned out to make way for "flat" christmas ornaments.
9. The livingroom windows have been washed, the whole space has been vacuumed out.
10. The livingroom tables cleaned and dusted, and furniture returned to their pre-christmas resting places and plants have re-entered the area.
11. OH, earlier a pot of coffee made, and the dishwasher filled.
12. The computer desk pulled from the wall, and cables now zap-strapped together, and a vacuum out behind all of that
13. A maze of cables plugged and unplugged to correctly install the new "SCANNER, PRINTER, COPIER" to user ability.
14. The bathroom mirror washed.
15. The house vacuumed, including the outside steps.. all two of them. (that is where the Christmas tree exited from)
16. At this moment the front hallway mat being shook out, in the front yard.

It's been a very busy day around here... I'm certainly glad that this wasn't my list of things to do today. So far this is what I have accomplished:

1. Wondered what The King was going to make for dinner.

Happy New Year!

Just another note before the end of the year.

Mr. Cleanandtidy has a secret. A deep dark secret which he kept to himself... or rather, unadmittedly did not want his family to find. But I will say... this family is wise beyond their capabilities... intune to the happenings and workings of this little homestead...a read between the line sort of deal. Mr. Cleanandtidy can not have a secret that he keeps to himself, about himself. No he can't. We will find him, and his ways... like we did just yesterday.

WE are all sharp as tacs in this house, without question.

I reached into the bathrom middle drawer yesterday to get yet another band-aid. My hand lives in this drawer everyday to get, another band-aid. For some reason yesterday I prevailed upon myself to move what appeared to be my husbands deodorant stick out of the band-aid box. (You know the thousand box of band-aids for the plastering kind of people that we seem to be). I took a glimpse at his deodorant stick and said to "The Pipster", (who was in need of a band-aid at this time), "Mr. Cleanandtidy has an empty deodorant stick in here, he must not realize that we actually have a garbage can in this house". And that's when it hit me... hit me hard actually. I continued to dig, and I continued to find empty deodorant sticks. We counted eight. We also counted five large and empty toothpaste boxes, found one dead toothbrush, a wrapper for shaving equipment, an empty canister of shaving foam, too many to count razor head thingys, and 2 empty boxes of stomach remedies. Clearly this man needs help. Mr. Cleanandtidy will be going into rehab at the beginning of the year... he has disposal issues that need to be disposed of.

I'll be on the lookout now for any kind of relapse. I better spend some time at the pencil sharpener.

Somethings to do before the end of the year.

1. I'll try and remember to tell "The King" that I love him... time is running out for this year afterall, he really should win some kind of award.
2. Hug my girl at least 64 1/2 more times. She is very huggable... her and all of her stuffed cats.
3. Tell my boy that he is the most amazing, kindest, smartest most musical boy on this side of the river. What river that is, I never specify... I can't make his head swell to too much.
4. Be thankful, be thankful, be thankful. For too many things to begin to describe.
5. Call my sister... it is important to call her before the end of the year. Only because I have called her the 364 days, I wouldn't want to end on a bad note.
6. Clean out a drawer... it's tradition.. out with the old, and in with the new. I can hide more things that way.
7. Hook up my new scanner.... and reconnect my old mouse... because the current mouse is not mouse worthy, and although the current printer is very printer worthy it is unscannable, and I will not enter the NEW YEAR without scanning abilities. I will have the potential to turn into Superman with his scanning ways if I am not careful....
8. Tell my oldest evilest of dogs that she will live, at least 33 more times. She tends to have issues about being patient, and waiting, and being put in a cage to get out of my way so I can load the washing machine with masses of laundry, and not having to deal with one too many dogs getting in the way.
9. Remind my oldest dog that she is still going to live.. because she will still be hissing about it even after I do it the first 33 times. Then tell the little sillier dog that she will live to, because she likes to be included in all conversations.
10. Hug my family, call my parents, pet my dogs, remember friends that I haven't had a chance to connect with in a while, and rejoice in the fact that our lives are very very good... even without a new kitchen. And the clock ticks on...

Before the gushes...

I should have made myself clearer without being clear... a postly moment ago. Many posts ago I commented that "The King" only goes shopping once a year... The reason for the roses at this time of year is for the birthday that I share with the big guy himself, the reason for the season, Jesus Christ. AND, which I remind myself of this daily when I call out his name with a certain amount of force. I so love sharing a birthday with this guy....

Some helpful hints to acquiring bonus points

The regular chant that whirls through my mind and permeates onto my exisitance is the constant: "I am a good and kind wife". "Oh really", I counter myself with a challenge.

"The King" I will call him... (it's just easier that way)... brought me home a dozen red roses on Christmas Eve. As he always does, and has done for years, except when I worked on Christmas, then he had his friend deliver them to me on Christmas Day. Except this past week because he no longer sees his friend Adam anymore (time and distance factors)... so hence the Christmas Eve effect. Anyways... a good and kind wife as I am immediately arranges all the prettiness into more prettiness, but in a vase.. and then I promptly take them outside and put them on the back step. That is what a good and kind wife does. Now, I am able to stare at my beautiful red roses living in their pool of water, heads held high, buds are still firm but slightly opened. This is the way to enjoy a boquet of flowers... from the inside looking out. It's a good thing that Mr. Cleanandtidy brought home some window cleaner from work... now I can clear away the fingerprints and the dog fur smudges to get a clear glimpse of what is really out there.

ON other wifely goodness: I bought him a very nice Christmas card, as he does the same for me... we are the ones "to keep those trees growing for our benefits only" kind of people. I very nicely put it in my favourite hiding spot... where all the bills go until I have to enventually look at them... but when I went to fill in his card with something nice to say... all I saw was "Congratulations on your new son"..... so now I am confused... I remember buying a Christmas Card for him... I don't remember it looking like a Congrats card... but then again... I could have picked that up.. without noticing.. and then put the other one down... and because I do things in certain ways... like deliver cards to the checkout upside down and tucked into the envelope... that way the clerk doesn't need fumble with the card for scan-ability. So now I don not know what card I bought for "The King", that was my downfall. At this moment in time... The King is cardless. He seems to be functioning quite well despite this.

Speaking of scanability... I was at Costco yesterday picking up a prescription so that the raging staph infection that had gone into my lymph glands under my arm that had created a great amount of numbess and tingling in all of my right arm and hand, and was working up into my cheek would settle down... as I was waiting... I spied a scanner, copier, printer on for a reasonable price. I don't need a printer.. I have one. It makes me happy.. I can not mess with happiness.... it never works... but.... I am going to tempt the happiness gods and purchase this little hottie... I will let you know the happiness quotient in a number of weeks when I take the cartridges to be re-filled with ink....

Let the games begin...

It becomes a sporting event opening and closing the refridgerator after Christmas dinner is over. I find it rather humourous that an immediate diet ensues due to the inabilitiy to reach for "something" at the back of the refridgerator. It becomes far too much work loading and reloading, so therefore it should not be required.

Yesterday Mr. Christmasdinnercookingman unloaded the meat from the turkey... life with the refridgerator should be smoother sailing from this point.

The young playstation 2 master has opened and played almost every part of his games. By bedtime he usually looks like mouseboy.

The girl-play-with-everything-all-at-once-then-leave-it-on-the-carpet has once again done a fine job of doing just that. She has a belief system in place where no new item should be picked up at any time. Things should remain in a safe full viewing spot for immediate playability. She has turned into colouring queen for the moment. Yesterday she was pollypocket girl / my scene girl.

Now that it is a whole 3 days past the big day I am having those clean-up pangs... I want to start packing away the christmas stuff... all 5 big rubbermaid boxes of it....yikes.

Feeling the jitters a coming:

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas.

Thank you to everyone for stopping by and visit, and leave a comment or ten. Enjoy the next couple of days with family and friends, and people that you only have to see once a year, if that is your thing.

Regular scheduled programming of dribdrab via the web will reconvene after every speck of wrapping paper is in the recycle container.I will of course be going through withdrawal. I am already starting to feel the pangs of nervousness collect at my fingertips.

Cheers!

A couple more days to go...

I am looking forward to a couple of sleeps from now. I love the excitement and the adventure. I tingle with emotion... the day is drawing near. The day that I go to the mall and buy my 2005 calendar for 1/2 price. That's it. Every year I venture out after Christmas and buy the magically reduced in price calendars. My question is this... is the New Year less important after Christmas than before? Knock, knock... hello, I know. The gift giving season is over and all that fine stuff... but this is the NEW Year.. and all things NEW are never half price. What if I were to go and buy a car... would the 2005's be slashed to half price on the lots.... perhaps I will check that out. Won't Mr. Husbandman-fix-the-vehicle-always be impressed when I forgo the half price calendar this year, and look for a better deal at a 2005 car dealership. (I think the car might even come with a calendar... and they probably would through in an extra to keep that lipstick stained face still smiling).

What if...

I have been thinking...what if I make my list.... and then I forget the crucial item to even be put on the all important list.... and then I forget the crucial item, and it's too late. I am having Turkey Trauma... a phenomenom afflicting woman who have husbands that cook the turkey on Christmas Day, which the woman has no part of. Clearly this is an issue. I keep thinking of things that I need to get before the all important Turkey-ness begins. The turkey thoughts never even enter my mind... I am having no visions of Turkey-plums dancing in my head. I am of the mindset of the gift exchange program... food doesn't get factored into this, hence once again the problem. Never have I mentioned here before... but I am truely a bad gift-giver....not that I give a gift with a sour face... it's just figuring if something that I (we) have given is adequate. Especially to those that want for nothing, nor wish for things that can never be given back. I think I am going to write a note... on both of my hands... "HAVE YOU GOT YOUR TURKEY TODAY?"

The Pipster and The Comedian 

An anniversary to forget.

This day will be the one year anniversary that my sister dragged me (kicking and screaming and I believe drugged) to Walmart. Yes, Walmart. Is there not somewhere I should have been that evening one year ago, on a December 23rd evening... someplace a little saner than the bedlem I found myself surrounded by? It looked as though there was a earthquake, not of the natural sort, but the human sort. Things and crap were strewn around the store from here to the fishing department. Shelves tipped, people pushing little ones in shopping carts with crap loaded on top of them. Toy shelves broken and toys all over the floor. Of course there are the people that do the overhead pages right into the microphone.... that's right... blow into the microphone first, that's a pleasant sound. Similar to recieving an electric shock for simply taking a breath. I remember my sister and I in hysterical laughter walking around this store, and every couple of moments I would ask another question... "why are we here?"... "what is the reason for this?"......"how could I have said yes to this?"......... "I think there should be some financial compensation for this road trip"........"remind me of this next year, so I can run and hide......Today she asked if I wished to go to Walmart... and today... my memory was working a little too sharp to be fooled a second time.

Oh my...

What beautiful decorations you don't have.......

My Debbie friends and I have taken to a little "Scrapbooking " adventure at one of the Debbie's houses. Any one of the three houses would suffice for scrapbooking... but it's this one Debbie's houses that wins.. hands down... no husbands.. whoops, no children I mean.... (wait, I must pause for a moment, go get a cup of coffee, and rejoice in the fact that it is 0900... and we are nowhere.. we are not late, we are not dressed, we are not breakfasted, we are not pretty, and we are not going anywhere at this exact moment.. .pause for this moment of happiness.....)....

I'm back... anyways...in reality my house wouldn't work for Scrapbooking, all 1365 feet of it... well it would... but we would have to fit (squish) around the kitchen table.. and then the Silenthusband would hide in the den... but we would have quick access to the refridgerator.. to get at the wine...but then... if one of the Debbies came over with her newly acquired Scrapbooking - Motorhome - Suitcase ... we wouldn't fit at my house (this suitcase qualifies for "better than packing for the best holiday ever")... and then, if the other Debbie, with her "Scrapbooking Store that lives in her basement" came over... she would be confused as to what to come over to my house with.. she wouldn't be able to decide...so she would just stay home and drink wine. That wouldn't work. So, in actuality... it's just better to go to the "Scrapbooking Store in the Basement Debbie's house"..... it's us, our pictures and wine. Be jealous Martha, be jealous.

So back on track then.... I had bought these wonderful little paintable tree ornaments, back in November. As I can recall, there are 30 days in November, which of course include 30 evenings. In all 30 of those evenings... I never managed to find time to paint my beautiful tree ornaments. Except for one night... one scrapbooking night... so I sacrificed the evening of scrapbooking... and brought my paints and ornaments.. and as we laughed and drank and nibbled.. and I painted 4 ornaments, that's 4 ornaments half painted... and that is the way it has remained. It's a good thing that Save-On-Foods had these cute ornaments this year.... because that is what my tree is decorated with.... I'm hoping that I will get the other ornaments painted for next year...but that might be asking too much...

Almost 15.... or 266, 567 kilometers

Our almost 15 year old White Toyota Forerunner SUV has been giving us grief this past week. I will not stand for it.
I will just say.... This is the one and only... much loved, always talked about, cared for (kind of, maybe, well almost) vehicle in the driveway. Our attentions are not diverted to a newer, cleaner, better colour, only slightly rusted wheel wells, quieter, and less gas sucking vehicle. NOOOOOO.... this vehicle gets all of our money, when it isn't being handed over to the dogs life extension fund. (I will not mention the 2003 Chevy Van that the husband uses for work everyday.... it's HIS to drive around from 0700 to 1900 everyday, with all of his millions of dollars of tools (do I have millions of dollars of craft supplies???) in tow).

This almost 15 year old SUV gets a ***whiff*** that we are planning on doing something... and it decides to act up. Without fail, like clockwork. Once again, it has managed to do it again. This weeks adventure takes us to the happy space of "the blowing up of rad hoses", or any hoses for that matter that have no business blowing up. This is where the story always has an interesting twist... the owner (well my name is on the registration.... but I will say the owner to be the person that wanted the vehicle more than I did) can fix it... he can fix it all... without even a wince or a manual in his hand, or a tow truck to be called. I don't know when this 15 year old SUV will figure this out.

On Friday afternoon... we were just about back from doing some shopping (the husbands one day contribution... inbetween his cooking, cleaning, working, and decorating)... when the biggest of booms happened. Luckily I had a "quick, can you drive me somewhere" spare card in my back pocket... (my friend from down the street)... (I rescued her from her 7 year old daughter a couple of weeks back.. and she tried to repay the favour.. so I said to her "Trust me... I will use you when I need you... just answer your phone when I call!!")... which of course happened on Friday. (Thanks Debbie for dragging out your sick child and busy child when I called... see I told you that I needed to save that free-ride/rescue from somehwere!!!) The almost 15 year old SUV was smoking and hissing and sizzling and antifreeze and water was everywhere. There was no fear in Mr. Fixit's eyes.... one car-ride in his NEW Chevy van, and a bikeride and a dig through his tool box, and he was able to replace the badness that had just happened underneath the hood. We were able to go out that evening... as planned...but now the 15 year old SUV was chugging along.. especially when we idled.

On Saturday afternoon... after a trip to TOYOTA'S parts department, the walk-in clinic, the pharmacy to pickup a prescription for a "suddenly sick Pipster-but a dose of antibiotics with lots of Tylenol to fix the aches so we can continue with our day", the Aquarium and The Stanley Park Christmas train, we stopped for gas. Hmmm... "look at the steaming engine again Sir" I said to Mr. Fixit... once again, he opened the hood of the truck, and another hose blown, or about to blow, or with a big rip in it....so we drove home, with a full tank of gas and a steaming sizzling hissy-fit happening under the hood.

Sunday morning... Mr. Fixit opens the hood, and tapes the newest of breaking hoses.. and we all pray that he can drive me to work.. without blowing....once again, idling was the worst part.. as we watched the smoke/steam rise from underneath the lines on the hood.... and leaving all of us stranded... (well kind of stranded.. I would have just continued to walk to work... they would have been stranded.. because they would have needed to go and find a hose store).... he managed to make it home, where again the truck had it's hissy fit in the driveway. Later in the day Mr. Fixit went back to the autoparts store.. and said "Give me all your hoses"... anything that looks like a hose.. I will take it". Once again he fixed the bad hose.. and picked me up from work. The 15 year old SUV was unhissable. It doesn't know that there are hoses that are connected that are not quite the right size, but will work for interim.. it doesn't know that...

I am thinking... I want to be my friend... she's a Chicken Farmer's wife.. and she drives a 2004 Volvo. I'm doomed.