0700 - 0800

The lovely and wonderful grade sixer Hamsterson asked me for some advice the other day. He may think twice before ever asking me again, or, since I kind of helped him out... who knows if he will come back with more questions and advice...

He asked me when it might be a good time to get a girlfriend. This was my answer:

"Let's walk you through the process of getting up in the morning Hamsterson! Then that way you might be able to figure out when it is a good time to get a girlfriend...." I said to him.

"Here, I have some questions to ask you..

Part A

1. Who wakes you up in the morning?
2. Who says yes to your clothes?
3. Who makes sure that you have put on clean socks and underwear?
4. Who asks you to make your bed, and put your dirty clothes in the ((new!)) laundryroom?
5. Who tells you to brush your teeth, have your shower, put your deodorant on, and please wash your hair?
6. Who makes your breakfast?
7. Who double checks that you have all your stuff in your backpack?
8. Who makes a lunch for you everyday?
9. Who reminds you that even though it's appears to be cold out, that wearing the Gangsta' jeans will not be a good choice since it will be 30 degrees at 3:00 pm.., and who reminds you that you do not like heat?
10. Who tells you to hurry up, and eat because 0750 is quickly approaching.
11. Who lets you know that you need runners on your feet before leaving for school?
12. Who says "I LOVE YOU", and means it when you walk out that door?

Part B

1. How much money do you have?
2. Do you have a job?
3. Who do you walk to school with?
4. What do you do in your spare time?
5. Where do you eat lunch at, and how do you spend your lunch hour?

I asked the questions to the lovely Hamsterson in Part A, which he answered everyone with a "you do". I reminded him that once he could handle all those things on his very own, without me having to remind him on one thing he could probably handle a girlfriend.... but then I added Part B. I filled in the answers as his big blue eyes got bigger and bluer:

1. None, you have spent it all on your girlfriend, and that Lego Starwars Game II, forget about it.
2. Need to get one fast.
3. Nobody, except for your girlfriend.
4. Spare time = all the time with the girlfriend.
5. Next to the girlfriend, next to the girlfriend.

"Well, what do you think about a girlfriend?" I asked the Hamsterson. "They are way too much work, and I am not spending my $80.00 bucks on them, I am going to buy my game, there's no way I am sharing my bucks with them!!" he said back to me. "Besides this whole Grade 6 thing is pretty complicated to figure out as it is, let alone try and have a girlfriend hanging off me.."

The next day home from school the Hamsterson came rushing in the front door of the 1365 square foot rancher, and ran to our rickety ugly kitchen table that will not be replaced until next summer when the husbandman FINALLY will be able to do the kitchen.... and slammed down his books...."Great advice yesterday mommy" he bellowed to me...

"Oh OK Hamsterson... was it good advice or bad advice...." I asked.

"Well today, a girl asked me out...." he says with his sparkly blue eyes.

"Oh, and what was the answer that you gave to her....?" I inquired.

"Well, I looked at her and hissed GET LOST!" he tells me.

"Oh, son, Part C lesson starts right now, listen up....."