Pardon me...

But is that a duck in your truck?

Today I had the lovely quest of my annual bird in a box routine. For those who have been with me for a really long time (brave souls) will remember that last year I had the great challenge of catching a seagull.. and had to yell at an "old lady" to STOP THAT BIRD... in an effort for the successful capture. Today, luckily, I had my trusty sidekick and box wielding assistant with me for the complete duck capture.

I am not sure how these things find me. They just do. I have to say, I am happy that I came across this duck when I did... otherwise it would have been a dead duck beneath my white truck. It was just standing there... looking kind of duckishly stupid. I immediately hissed that I wasn't going to get sucked into the bird in the box routine again. My trusty assistant Max (my mother) told me that I had to help the duck, that's why it was standing next to my white truck. Next words out of my mouth... .... Alright, Fuck! I marched into Costco, took two boxes, and marched back out to the parking lot. The duck was still waiting. Luckily two guys were cruising along and wondering why I had a duck out of the box in the parking lot. They thought it was my pet. Yes.. it goes with my white truck I said. I like things that match. (HA) It tried to make a get away, by running... as it looked like it's wings were kind of clipped... but it couldn't quite manage to fly.. or so I thought. My trusty assistant wanted to know what I was going to do with the duck. I had a plan. The guys left wondered what I was going to do with it.., and wished me good luck with my new duck.... and I packaged it into my truck. I drove over to the Plant Store, where right next to property was a guy who had lots of birds and things with feathers. I asked the store clerk if she knew his number.... which I then gave him a call. Alfonso found his way over to the plantstores parking lot, where I presented him with the big brown box with one duck inside of it. He reached inside.... and in his lovely seemingly Italian accent hissed... "DEES DUCK CAN FLY!" as he reached in and grabbed the duck by the wings and shook it a bit... he walked off with the box in one hand, and the flying duck in the other.

No more duck in my white truck.