Quite the adventure.... a highly unbelievable adventure... but fun.

This has got to be fast...

I am back on the marathon book event... and am two thirds through this book. Anything that I say now will have to be in some sort of short version.. if there is such a thing with me. I might as well give up now, and continue with the book. I'll be back after the last page is done. Until then... I'm collecting stories and imaginative thoughts. Be scared.. I know I would be.

Pardon me...

But is that a duck in your truck?

Today I had the lovely quest of my annual bird in a box routine. For those who have been with me for a really long time (brave souls) will remember that last year I had the great challenge of catching a seagull.. and had to yell at an "old lady" to STOP THAT BIRD... in an effort for the successful capture. Today, luckily, I had my trusty sidekick and box wielding assistant with me for the complete duck capture.

I am not sure how these things find me. They just do. I have to say, I am happy that I came across this duck when I did... otherwise it would have been a dead duck beneath my white truck. It was just standing there... looking kind of duckishly stupid. I immediately hissed that I wasn't going to get sucked into the bird in the box routine again. My trusty assistant Max (my mother) told me that I had to help the duck, that's why it was standing next to my white truck. Next words out of my mouth... .... Alright, Fuck! I marched into Costco, took two boxes, and marched back out to the parking lot. The duck was still waiting. Luckily two guys were cruising along and wondering why I had a duck out of the box in the parking lot. They thought it was my pet. Yes.. it goes with my white truck I said. I like things that match. (HA) It tried to make a get away, by running... as it looked like it's wings were kind of clipped... but it couldn't quite manage to fly.. or so I thought. My trusty assistant wanted to know what I was going to do with the duck. I had a plan. The guys left wondered what I was going to do with it.., and wished me good luck with my new duck.... and I packaged it into my truck. I drove over to the Plant Store, where right next to property was a guy who had lots of birds and things with feathers. I asked the store clerk if she knew his number.... which I then gave him a call. Alfonso found his way over to the plantstores parking lot, where I presented him with the big brown box with one duck inside of it. He reached inside.... and in his lovely seemingly Italian accent hissed... "DEES DUCK CAN FLY!" as he reached in and grabbed the duck by the wings and shook it a bit... he walked off with the box in one hand, and the flying duck in the other.

No more duck in my white truck.

What tomorrow brings:

I already know tomorrow will bring fresh sheets. That is a must for tomorrow. Just to make it hurt a little more... they are going to be fresh off the line, from the lovely fall air. I. CAN'T. WAIT.

In more freshness.. the colour will be restored to the quad coloured hair don't I have happening at this moment. Problem... I have had a number of people tell me they like my new colour. Nice.. the lovely faded colour that I am sporting... well really, it's nothing... I live in a dark world.

In other bouts of fresh colour.... I have let the King (kind of) pick his own colours for the shed/country cottage. He should have it all prettied up for a colour photo by tomorrow. We had a colourful discussion this morning. I am not sure if I am positive about the colour yet on the colour scheme for the new country home. It doesn't matter... I won't be living there, he will be, and he needs to happy.

I will hopefully have a non-colourful conversation with the company that transports my members to and from my club for me on Mondays. I think they forgot to open their doors for business this morning. Everybody that rides the system was MIA for my group.

Things that happen...

So, should you consider yourself a complete loser when you, and only you are the only person that is online when all of the people on your MSN (instant messenger) are not? It is a question that I am pondering to myself at this very moment. I will justify that thought with a response... I am not feeling compelled to listen to bad music right now... or more like I am not wanting to go and sit at the piano and practice my songs... they are just too far from sounding good.. and I need them to sound good for tomorrow. Desperate times call for desparate measures... AVOIDANCE.

In other things that happen while my back is turned... the completion of a little shed.. window boxes, windows, and scroll work. All we need now is colour... which will be happening this week. Oh, and of course the planting of fall flowers in the window boxes.. and that would be my job, so Mr. Mastercraftsman has bestowed that petty chore to me, or so it seems. I will take this daunting task and run with it.

thinking one oh one

I have had to make a couple of mental notes to myself, although I am running out of mental space.. and soon will be needing to carry around cue cards for every hour on the hour... just so I know what I should be doing... it's very challenging. Here's a small list of what I have so far:

1. I have changed my clocks to real time again.. since I believe that I do live in real time, and not just Deanna world.. and it just gets time consuming to always be computing the real time minus 7 minutes.
2. I have bumped up the vitamin intake.. I believe I am slightly stupider than I was last month...although at this moment it could just be an internal server error... but I can not take any more chances.
3. I have to remember to go to work tomorrow.. as I worked an extra day yesterday.. and I am only programmed to going to work for 3 days in a row, not 4.
4. I can not will bread to be in the freezer, when it is not. I tried that from work today.. Mr. Husbandman reassured me that there wasn't bread, I thought it was an interesting challenge.
5. The hair has taken on that quad-coloured look again... I am hoping that I am going to remember to colour it soon.
6. I think I SUFFER from OCD only at work, not at home. This morning I cavi-wiped (these wipes are not for a babies bottoms... these things can kill HIV, TB, and other smallish nasty things in under 5 seconds) the countertops and edges, telephones and computer keyboards in one single go. I was most impressed. It did take everything I had mind you .. not to empty off this cart that holds bed spreads, and put them on the specified shelf... that took a lot of will power. I wish I could have that much strength and conviction to empty my laundry basket full of mismatched socks with the same OCD abilities. No can do.
7. I am hoping that I remember soon when I am out that I have a broken coffee maker on my counter.. and probably should replace it.... someday.

That's enough for one day.. I don't want to blow a fuse.

What exactly is this....

on my computer screen? That is the question I am asking myself tonight... while I stare at the screen and know that I did not leave it this way yesterday. It's just all fuzzy and blurry and messed up. I am going out on a limb here... but I believe it had something to do with the children. Big guess, and I'm probably right.... although I can't be bothered to track down the culprit and make the little hand clean up the big mess. I have a bigger question though.. did they do this before or after they were done with the computer... as I am having a hard time doing some letter connections right now.

There we have it... much better.... a clean screen, absolutely lovely. Join in my friends... take a moment, and clean your screen.... you too will feel much better, breath easier and rejoice in the clarity of the words in front of you .... well, not really... but there is a chance.

In other WHAT EXACTLY IS THIS things going on here today.... The boy has come down with a nasty cold.. I think a remnant from what his sister had last week. I am a bit worried.... he will have to perk up a bit for Monday... as it is picture day, and we can't be having a picture of Rudolph smiling at me for the whole year from on top of the piano. There was silence from him when I presented the regular Saturday question to him... "Did you have some fruit today?" In Pip news... she looks kind of played out.. I asked her the standard Saturday questions tonight after I got home from work... "did you brush your hair today, and did you do your teeth, and tell me, did you eat some fruit today?" She is either immune to my questions, or just lies to make me happy.. '"Yes mama" was the reply. I can't even ask about vegetables... Mr. Husbandman doesn't even like to talk about vegetables. AND.. when I got home Mr. Husbandman was behaving like Mr. Workshopfella... as there was a scroll saw busy scrolling, and a homemade pattern of some fancy cutouts for the corner of the shed sitting on the table out on the ugly back deck.

I haven't had the opportunity tonight to catch another huge spider like I did last night.. when I said to myself... what exactly is that moving down there....

In more laughable moments...

The sister is stalking me again. She wouldn't admit that to my neighbour... as she entered my home, found the cell phone, called a number of times, quizzed the neighbour as to my where abouts... she finally found me. I called her. We then proceeded to go to the much hated place on earth for stuff... WAL-MART... where I proceeded to spend $200.00 on stuff. I don't want her stalking me anymore... that sis is an expensive stalker. But now.. the Little Lady Pipster has been outfitted with 2 pairs of runners, one pair of lovely flat rubber soled patent leather shoes, and a pair of boots with pink flowers. Someone will be happy about this shopping trip.

Laughable moment:

The girl had to write a story about a body part in school yesterday. She wrote about her hair. Hair, the body part of the new age I guess. Little Lady Pip did a fine job writing about her hair... especially the beach blond that it is. That is no typo.... at least not this time. The teacher corrected it, and politely added an L in the correct position. The Pip had to rewrite the story at home last night as a good copy on a specially selected piece of paper. She pointed out to Mr. Husbandman that the teacher had added an L to her work when an L was not required. Therefore it still stands that she has beach blond hair, and in certain other light, the beach blond hair also looks as bright as the stars according to the Pip.

In the deep dark night laughable moments happen:

The Pip comes to me last night... and shakes me awake, although I was already awake. With one hand clutched to her blanket, and the other wrapped around my arm she tells me that she needs me to get her to the bathroom. I jump out of bed, and off we go. She stops short of the bathroom door, and starts frantically feeling around the wall...."great, just when I need to go to the bathroom, the door is missing" she says... which is when I realize that she is sleep walking.. I then move her another foot down the wall, and she enterers to go to the bathroom. The sleep walking Pip is a tricky one... sometimes I can not tell that she is actually sleeping as she maneuvers about the 1365 square foot homestead.

The fingers are restless

I am very irked at the moment... almost conundrumized really. I have a brand new container with flower food sitting in the wings for this very moment to arise... to feed my plants. The timing couldn't have been so not perfect. My magical blooms are fading, and the plants are looking tired, and soon it will be time to pack up the pots and baskets and store them for the winter... the issue is of course that I do not want to open up my plant food for only one occasion of feeding all of them. I would like to store the food until next year... tomorrow is officially the end of summer on a soltice calender. The weather here is about to take a turn to wet.. and after that the flowers will no longer be so perky... and yet I do not want them to go quite yet....

In other fingery things.....

My piano music is quite pleasing the finger tips, although it is doing nothing for the ears. If my fingers could plunk on the correct sharps and flats at the alloted time.. things would be much better. Although.. now I have been playing music for the godfather, and it's a wonderful world, and The Grinch song.... so, it's all good, and it stands many chances to get better.

In important fingery things...

The laundry on my bed should be tended to... in a very bad way. I will stop clicking now and attend to the items above this one. HA!

3 more...

Yesterday I bit the bullet and bought three music books that have familiar tunes for a variety of audiences. Now I just have to read the tunes and play them for people on the piano.... at my stroke group. I am working on incorporating speech from music for a couple of sessions. Key words... working on it. Now I have to learn the songs, which are fairly simple... but I have to play them well.... to get people to tap their feet to the music, or let the words fall out of their mouths. All the personal successes add up to bigger success for those in my group.

The lovely Hamsterson was helping me out last night while I was playing. I can't exactly tell what kind of fake accent he had entered into, but he was playing the part of an oddball music teacher... and egging me on to keep playing. He sputtered out all kinds of words of encouragement.. (you had to be here to understand the amusement in this)... He carried on ... rant rant rant.. until finally he comes out with in his english/irish/scottish accent that he had made up: "My mother is better than you on these keys... and she's dead!"

The list grows...

The late summer list must be accomplished today. (Summer is officially over in these parts on the 22nd). I will have to go find space in the chicklets drawers for clothes that take up more space than the summer ones did... and the girl... she needs another 1365 square foot home for her bedroom alone. I am not certain what I may or may not be able to do in that room of hers.. of course there is my book that I might have to pick up.. although that is an illegal manuever during the day.... the temptation is great.... I have 5 books to get through in 9 days. An impossibility I declare.... I am going to have to try and renew... MUST. TRY. HARD.

Who's homework is whos?

On Friday we were given something from the girls teacher. So, speedily this morning we to attempted to accomplish the request to do some math drills for the little lady Pipster. Little lady Pipster does not do math drills speedily... the first request was totally wrong. The second request for her to do them at home, was another assumption, and totally wrong once again. WE managed to get the first sheet done. I set the clock the alloted 5 minutes... gave her her pencil and an eraser.. as the microwave quietly ticked down the minutes. Mission Accomplished.... although.. she said she just wanted to finish the line, after the beep went off. Little Lady Pipster doesn't get timed drills. The third question in... I asked Pip, what is 3 + 3 ... She gives me the stupid idiot mother look, and tells me to read what she wrote... 3+3=6.... the trick here is, if you turn the six around... and give it just a little tale.. it looks like a two.. which is what she had written. My left handed Pip... everythings just kind of backwards. This isn't the end... I then had to ask the backwards Pip to now do "take aways" on everything she had just painstakingly added up. That blank piece of paper ended up on the floor... and it didn't float down there.... that was the end of the morning math homework.

The Hamsterson had an assignment... to do a summer collage. It cost me a 160.00 to do. Well, by the time I went through Costco, and bought the printer cartridges, and the batteries, and the box of gum, and then the hotdog that the girl was absolutely needed because she was going to die any second.. and then he wanted pizza... of course after that.. I wanted a latte... it all added up to 160.00 .... just because I was trying to print some pictures from the internet for the boys summer collage, that didn't have a blue hue to it. I'm stupid. I have now spent the whole evening helping the boy with his collage... and cutting out little letters.. and assisting in the glueing procedures... and now I am worried... was there supposed to be parental input into the first collage of the year... the most worrisome part... this has set me back from the book marathon that I am currently enrolled in.

And......We're rolling.

The Kingtinkerer has once again saved the day. Mind you... I haven't driven the 15 year old white SUV out and about... but Kingtinkerer has, and says it's fine. I will trust his judgement on this one.

As I see it, the sea of life just keeps rolling through, with waves crashing upon you. Before you even realize it, another wave hits the shore, and you better be prepared to roll with it, whether good or bad, or just plain annoying... the waves keep rolling. Kingtinkerer had great hopes of "doing things" to his shed in an effort to finish this project by the end of September. ( He's going to need a little get a way over the winter..!) This wave was the broken Toyota in his driveway.

Cut.

The last weekend of summer.

This is it, the last weekend of summer... good bye summer 2005... it's been fun.

Some other fun things for the moment:

1. Figuring out Hamsterson's math homework.
2. Trying to get Hamsterson to do his collage for the summer.
3. Getting the girl to do her timed mathwork for tomorrow.
4. Try to get the girl to come out of the bath tub, with candles and lavender to boot.
5. Hopefully Mr. Husbandman will have my car put together by tomorrow... the handyman that he is... apparently the water pump broke, so he replaced it... and then he decided that the timing belt had to be replaced, he said something to do with stress cracks, and engines stopping, then blowing up.. and other such nonsense..... and when I look into the huge cavernous space... there are still lots of pieces missing.
6. Preparing for my group tomorrow... as I am busy having a conversation on MSN.
7. I am wondering if I should throw some water around my back yard for the grass and flowers to have a drink.. or is mother nature going to take care of that for me.

A good casket of characters. The marathon continues

Rain Rain please stay here...

I would sing the other well known jingle... but that clearly isn't what I am wanting right now. I want some rain, for pure greed purposes...this is the perfect time to grow grass. Although I am concerned.. I keep dumping down grass seed, and every day I go to check on it.. just to make sure it hasn't grown legs and disappeared... but that is the case.. so I go back out and throw more around, just in case I didn't throw enough around the first, second, third, and fourth times. I have seen some pretty fat crows around here lately... lousy freeloaders.

In other things that are normal....

The Hamsterson had to write a short story about himself, as asked for by the teacher. All was well, until the teacher said to the class...." I don't have to hear about your Uncle Eunice that's an alcoholic... and so on...". My Hamsterson went with that... and added as a PS to his quick tale about himself, that not only was our Uncle Eunice an alcoholic, he was also a gambler. Which because of his gambling habits had lost the family home, so now, all 17 of the family members live with us, including their pot bellied pig, and their homework eating goat. At this point the Hamsterson ripped the bottom of his page... and finished the story by writing in larger words across the page.. STAY BACK.. YOU STUPID GOAT.....!

I am hoping that the Mr. Teacher that Hamsterson now has for the year, will figure out quickly what kind of kid he is. I fear for all of them.

By Malcolm Gladwell.. the power of thinking without thinking.

The Beast is Back.

Today, being the middle of the month signaled an awakening in Hamsterson. For some reason he had decided that this is the day that he got his PLAYSTATION 2 back. Joy oh Joy. He lost it, and the television, and the computer at some point back in early August. From that point on I did not have to police his user status every waking moment. For him a thinking process (punishment) was a thinking process (punishment).

This morning awakened a new beast once again.. he has been awake since 5 am, terrified to leave his bedroom before 6 am, and now that the light started peeking through... he has emerged.. with his hands doubling the looks of REM sleep, before him. Here it starts... I am now the Electronics Police once again.. I have enjoyed this freedom that with the electronics gone, so was the title. Now it's back.. but of course... it's back with a fresh mind, and fresh rules.... which will start after his formal return this am. That will be much to his disgust.

I haven't quite figured out the rules to the new game... but it's going to be something.

What today holds...

I am back from my eight dollar hair cut. You can't beat that. My hair loves eight dollar hair cuts. If there is one coupon I could have.. it would be the eight dollar hair cut coupon. It just makes me tingle... especially when you give the hair cutter lady a five dollar tip... because she was just so happy to cut my long uncontrollable, wild, frizzy, right now tri-coloured mop of mess on the top of my head. It's a good thing that she didn't blow dry my hair... but only put mousse in it... it poured when I got back onto my street.... until I walked through the front doors to the 1365 square foot homestead, and it stopped raining. I got the chance to be the first person to blow dry my new mess of hair... and it's still a mess, just shorter. But... it's all good.

Pippy made no mention of the fact that she was not going to gymnastics today. She claimed yesterday that she hated gymnastics... really hated it. I told her that she hasn't been there in two months, so how could she hate it. She said she was fake smiling the whole time last year. In other fake smiles... have a look at this one... and then wonder why she gets the name Pip. Real hair,... doing real things.

Yesterday's news.

The things that happened yesterday:

1. Spent 5 hours cutting the lawn, weeding the lawn (with a rake and a leather gloved hand), dug out my lovely black dirt from the compost bin, chucked dirt all about the holes that I just put in the lawn by ripping out weeds, raked the dirt and seeded the lawn, re-potted a rhodoedendron for what reason I do not know.. it is certainly on deaths door, but the neighbours ripped it from their garden.. so I had to have it. ( I couldn't just simply go the garden store and get one with nice green leaves on it, and buds in hopes of future blooms ) Stripped my tomatoes and used that pot for all of my bamboo stake collection that Mr. Husbandman wonders about. Raked up two tons of crap beneath the fir trees.... which you do not know the crap is there because fir needles do not fall with a thud... but over time there is quite a mound of them.
2. Then I went inside.... and hauled out the vacuum.... and did a stupid job that I have been wanting to do... vacuum the screens on the windows.... Point of interest here... I managed somehow to move the bathroom screen so that it was now stuck, and open about 1 inch from the window frame, I fiddled with it, trying to slide it back and then.. just left it..... this morning.. it has been fixed. Mr. Husbandman is ever so observant about his passion in life.... being the window guy that he is.
3. And the most important news of the day... I thought I was imagining things when I had a couple of sips of coffee, and it seemed a bit cool. I was really smacked in the face when I finally poured another cup, doctored it up, took a sip.. and it was cold.
4. Screamed....................................................... the fourteen year old coffee maker is gone!

Excuse me.... excuse me....

Is that a ball of worms sitting on your lawn? Yes, yes it is, and thank you for looking. Currently I have balled up worms, chopped worms, lonely worms, wiggly worms, skinny worms, starving worms, blind worms and more than likely dead worms... in many patches across my back lawn. I dug up my every so lovely kitchen waste compost container... and as it poured out black gold ( my version that is), the worms poured out with it.. so everything got loaded into the wheelbarrow and trucked to a new home..... the back lawn. Little lady Pipster was busy being at home today due to her nice and nasty cold that she is currently sporting.. and she loved the worm effect.. quite cool really...it's kind of neat to see your lawn wriggling away with the beastly little things... I didn't actually ever touch them... I have great leather gloves for that sort of stuff. After I had given the worms a new home.. I gave them a little treat... called grass seed.

The first sound of the day.

I hear movement down the hall.. it's the Pip... I can tell by the way she shuts her door, and by the sound of the way her feet hit the floor.... I am waiting... what's it going to be, a day at school, or a day at home.... tick tick tick tick tick..........she has gone to the bathroom first..... I must keep waiting to hear what's going to come out of her mouth... still waiting. Apparently the bathroom has magically superglued her. AHHH.... her she is.. and the verdict is.....she's staying home. Her blond mass of hair is too messy to be set straight to go. No really, it is. I think a day of rest will kick the cold out of her.. and then she can happily resume her Grade Three business tomorrow, including sharing her name with two other girls in the class. That's a bit funny... because there aren't many of her names around, although it's not totally foreign. Perhaps by tomorrow her raw little red nose will be blowing, the same as the rest of her lovely skin, rather than like a beacon that it is now. Good call I am thinking.

In other news about girls: The little J-meister bashes on our front door yesterday.. she wanted to know if Mr. Husbandman was home. I asked her if she had broken a window somewhere... she shakes her head no. She just wanted to talk to him she says. ( I try not to crack up ). I ask her if I need to leave him a message... "Yes, can you ask him if he can fix Chelsey's bike seat, it needs to go up" she said. "Certainly", I said to her... "when you see Mr. Husbandman come home, he will help you". OK, the funny thing is... both the dad's for these two bike riding chicks fix this kind of stuff, they must have been out, or busy... I was impressed by her resourcefulness. She knows that Mr. Husbandman has the most tools.

The 1:50 phone call

My little lady Pipster, made it to school, and remained in school... until I got the phone call. This was after one child left her group, then another child left her group. And she became the third to leave her group. The teacher became nervous, she wasn't sure if she was being taken for a ride. Three girls leaving class on the first day of real-deal school, perhaps it was the little grade 3er's telling her who was boss. I did fess up that the girl was getting a bit too snuffly and runny nosed as the morning progressed, (so I did what all evil parents do, when they need to be someplace during the school day..."suck it up sister" I said to the sweet princess and then sent her to school... she wasn't melting from the whole fever thing... ) but I also had my first day of the stroke club to tend to... and I was already madly nervous about the first day... only because I was been sent regrets left,right and center... I thought it would just be me, my lovely volunteer, the word games, and a big empty room. As we were heavy into our first Bocce Ball game of the season, the call came in... and luckily my amazing and wonderful brand new volunteer volunteered to pick up the Pipster... who also is the Pipsters grandmother. Thank the big guy for mothers as volunteers. It just works. As it certainly worked today.

OMG!

This just in.....

The Pip is refusing to go to school today, due to her stuffy and runny nose. My only saving grace at this point is that she doesn't feel hot. She's only allowed to be sick from Tues to Sun..... so her and her sickness will have to wait until tomorrow. I need to run my group today... for 4 hours. I will have to go give my Pip a little Pep.

The real deal

Today is the first day of real school. Last week was just fake. Last week was all about mastering the getting into the routine of waking up, doing junk and leaving the home before 9:00 am. Today we are expected to make a good showing, and be there for 0855. I just think of it the invisible challenge line. As other parents are busy scurrying about, and have been kept waiting with great anticipation and even greater anxiety, as to who their child will get as a teacher for the year...I on the other hand am troubled by the invisible challenge line, and my inability to cross it on time. That said... my coffee is done... that will certainly get me even more worked up when little lady Pipster says she "just isn't ready to be ready"... whatever that means in her blondness.

In other things that are the real deal.... things like my Stroke Group begin today... and so do piano lessons, Tae Kwon Do, gymnastics, art attack, cartooning and swimming. It is very sad.. but I can not write soccer on the list.... HA HA HA. And that is also real. The Pip and I saw her last years team practicing the other day while she still splashed in the big outdoor pool... OH PIP... I call to her... look what I see taking place out on the field..... the girl sank to the bottom of the pool. She has such talent.

Better go prepare some real lunches, and wake some real children.

And so...

If you would ever like a little non-scheduled pick me up... try flying (driving) down the freeway listening as the car speakers pound out the music to Ravel's Bolero, as the sun breaks through the clouds ... mindblowing experience. This is what visions are made of.

Fun and amusing.... I spied this book on the library "express" picks... and my 256 holds on it was now done.

Do the math

Once upon a time, a great many moons ago my Mr. Husbandman gave me a formula. This formula was good for renovating. Whatever the cost of the supplies needed, and then double it ... that's the price that you will pay. It works for him... because I have witnessed some pretty outragous numbers over time.... and he told that I had not done the math properly.

Now, I present my sister.. she is kind of like a renovation figure. It worked quite well today... I figured I would be out with her during the morning time (total 2 hours, almost forgetting to double it), and now it is one oclock... so the figuring is correct. I must now accomplish my tasks in a short two hour window as opposed to the four hour window that I thought I would have had. And, to boot, I told her this fact about herself....

My ship has come in...

In the form of a book.

My 81 holds has made it down to zero... and the library now says the book is mine for three weeks. That is great... if I didn't have 5 books now before it.... one of which has to be read in one weeks time ( the one that I got down to 187 holds out of the original 256 holds, which that request has now been deleted, because I just saw it sitting on the shelf... waiting for me ).... of which I am already into my second day... tick tick tick... I am on a marathon of reading adventures.

I will not speak to the Mr. Husbandman... that way it's smooth sailing, no time wasting conversations... wait a minute... I don't really talk to him anyways. he he he he he.

This is how it goes...

Here, I'll put on a little play...right here. It's easy, just follow along.

Part One:

me: Oh King, do you think you can build me a shed?
him: Yes Sir, almost anything for you sir. I will do it.
me: Oh King, do you think that it will take you long to build?
him: Now Sir, I am the King I can build anything.
me: Oh King, do you think I should go to Home Depot and buy a shed.
him: No Sir!... I will not put up a rickity rack shack in my back yard, I must build my own kingdom, that will be sure to stand after the first rain storm.
me: Oh King, alright ... if you think you can do it.
him: I will have it done by the long weekend.

(Ok, that conversation took place in May).

Part Two:

me: Oh King... it's the first day of your holidays... you have so much work ahead of you.
him: Sir, I can't talk now, I am off to Home Depot for supplies.
me: Oh King... I'll come with you.. I can't resist the temptuous smell of lumber.
him: Alright Sir, if you must, but do not think that I am going to looking at other of your silly things, I am looking for things to build the shed with.
me: Oh King, I must accompany you anyways, as you need to put the purchase of supplies on my airmiles credit card.
him: Alright Sir.
me: Oh King, how much of this shed do you think you will get accomplished?
him: Sir, I believe that I will have it sheeted by the end of the week.
me: Oh King, so how much is that to finishing it?
him: Sir...do not worry, I will easily have this shed done by the end of August, way before the end of summer.

(Conversation in July as he sits and reads his newspaper on his ugly deck with the dog)

Part Three:

me: The kids are going back to school tomorrow.
him: Oh.
me: That means it's September 6th.
him: Oh
me: This is the September long week-end, basically the end of summer.
him: Not really.
me: So, what's on the plan for today.
him: Going to work on my shed.
me: You have a shed? I didn't know that... when did that happen? OMG --- you have a shed.
Well aren't you the king... Mr. showoff man shed builder....
him: (stares at me)
me: Well I have a smile on my face now that you have a shed... you will have to show me where it is......( smiling here... and looking around in bewilderment)
him: You just wait.

Conversation from last week-end.

Part Four:













































































Part Five:

me: I'm still waiting.
him: (sits and smiles)

Getting into the swing:

Today was the first practice day of going to school. The lovely boy Hamsterson almost got it right.. as I saw him walking down the road, on his way to school. Somehow he got lost in that short distance and came back through the front door... and wanted to know if we were driving. He knew to start runing when I started yelling "You're walking in the wrong direction!!!!!!".....

Pippy on the other hand will need some practice going to school as well. Things like getting ready. Small things you know. She was mystified as to where the placement of her sunglasses was going to go in her brand new over the shoulder leopard print carrying case. Things like shoes, teeth and hair take a back seat to the grandiose trinket placement decisions. She managed to put her (actually Hamstersons) CD player in her shoulder bag... in case she wouldn't find her friends like little J at lunch. I had to remind her that little J had gone to a new school this year...Pip, Pip, Pip.

Tonights job for tomorrow...
All the clocks are being reset to a new improved 8 minute advancement. Five is little, and ten is just to noticable. I must trick the minds of the clock challenged, myself included.

The First Day of School.

Yes, it sprang upon me quickly. I could tell it was nearing by the level of scowling from the chicklets. The decibels were rising quicker than a flame reaching for oxygen. It couldn't have happened all soon enough.

I love the first day of school. It gives us reason to get dressed, eat some sort of breakfast, then lock our doors, and take a brisk morning walk to a little school in desperate need of a proper parking lot and driveway. On this shining bright blue sky filled morning.. we walked. It probably could be our last walk... as I am certain that the little lady princess pipster will undoubtedly make us late for some reason.... tomorrow, and all the days following. I have already put a plan of action in place.... I will just let the boy scooter himself to school. It should hopefully be safe, as the icky filthy squatter infested home way over on the corner has now been condemned ... so hopefully the filth that inhabits this space has been condemned with it.

The boy was quite happy to go off to school today.. as he has informed me for the twenty millionth time this summer that he is the oldest kid in the school. I'd say he had a lot to brag about if he could have been the oldest and the tallest... but a girl has him beat on that one... so I wont rub it in. Although I did tell him that if I heard that he was the oldest one more time... I was going to start doing things that would start taking years off his life... just to shut him up. I am evil. In other things that make me evil... I sent him off to Tae Kwon Do today.... his most hated sport known to him... of course all of his sports have been taken away from him... the things that exercise the hands, but almost for certain rots the brain.. his computer and his playstation, and just to make myself even more evil.. he has also lost the television. But later on in the day, lovely Hamsterson was busily riding and skidding on his bike. That was a foreign and odd sight. Almost UFO like.

Fussina Mussina Pipenza Evlina is a different story. She once again willingly set foot into the shower last evening, and we washed her hair. That was all done so that she could get it all braided up, which would make it all fluffy for this morning, and then she would be a big blond bombshell, as opposed to the tall blond bombshell that she already is. Her outfit of the day, was one from last year, and she was OK with that. It was still pretty, and lovely, and I wished I owned to my name as of this moment, ... but she does, and it still fits fine in the width, and it's only a bit troubling for the length......but she is happy that she has a skirt to wear, and it's pretty, and it's purple (lilac). That's all that matters.

And now for the changes at school today:
Regular teachers that been around forever and a day (almost) are gone.
I had to walk to the back of the school to collect my children, this is foreign to me.
A classroom that I had regularly visited for four years straight is now owned by someone else.
People have changed their names over the summer.
One person looked particularly happy to be at school... but this was only her first day... she will have to wait until tomorrow to get her real personality back.
Summer really doesn't help with the growth of a rat.
The now past PAC president's hair has gone frizzy. Not sure why on this one.
There are already posters on the wall, and a picture of my boy Hamsterson, and the girl from across the street are at the bottom of a poster, side to side. This is a sign.
They ran out of cream for the coffee while we waited the whole 50 minutes for the chicklets to re-acquaint themselves with desks and blackboards, and of course kids that they love to hate.
The gym has been painted to a 2005 look, rather than a 1960 look. I will still complain about the colours though.

And, in things that you wish it was still summer time:

Pippy and her friends have started riding bikes,... happily...around the block, by themselves. Why couldn't they have started this on the last day of June,... it would have made more sense. But, now that our light is fading quicker and quicker each day.. they have found this the latest love.
My boy doesn't have a bedtime... I am hoping that he finds one soon.

Rockbound by Frank Parker Day

And the excitement is building.....

I have pictures to post, and stories to spill... but it's going to have to wait. Yes people, wait. I too am now on edge waiting for myself to say something... but I am plagued with needing to read my book.... and all of this will have to wait. Oh the stories I could tell... if only I would type.. but I must stop.... as the book is calling.. and I am on deadlines with the book people.

what Friday nights are good for

1. Not getting things accomplished, and then doing them in the dark... like watering forgotten flower pots.. even though it's going to rain tomorrow... but these are the ones that do not get water even when it rains.
2. Not eating dinner, but waiting for the Husbandman to make it home... so he can cook the marinated steak... but that's the only thing you eat.
3. Razzing friends about certain conditions about ankles that need antibiotics to heal, not just a wish and a prayer.
4. Not offering up a warm drink, let alone a cold drink or a blanket when it now cools off on these hot days and cold nights of August, out on the ugly but comfortable back patio. Sorry Deb... I didn't quite see goose bumps sticking up like spikes.... so you probably had a couple minutes of life left in you.
5. Not really feeding the children anything considered normal.. like dinner.
6. Dealing with little Miss High Maintenance in the furry four legged terms when Mr. Husbandman doesn't make it home in good time.
7. Trying to remember what was exactly in the grocery bags that were still on the floor waiting to be unloaded when the neighbour lady came by.. and you started talking to her, and then forgot that there were grocery bags on the floor, and a high strung food stealing dog to go with it...
8. Checking on library updates.. and potential jobs from around this big city of ours. Quite exciting I might say.
9. Remembering that there are good shows on TV on Fridays... at 11:00 PM.... pardon me... WERE on TV. Rats.
10. Contemplating what the work life will be like in less than 8 hours.... that should be good.

The bad shopper

That is me, I am a bad shopper. I haven't got the whole thing of if you buy cream, it must be because you have coffee at home. Wrongo-bongo. I am without coffee this am, or yesterday am, or the day before that.. although I have beans in the cupboard, but I am not sure if they are decaf or not. When you are steeping the tea bags for longer than 5 minutes, the decaf just isn't going to cut it. This is why drive throughs were invented.

In other things that I am missing.... I have cereal... but where is the milk? I am so sure I had milk the other day... I will need to focus a little this weekend (while I am at work) and spend some time going through my inventory of wet foods that go with dry foods, starches that go with protein, that oil and vinegar due mix, you just have to mix them at the right time. I need to organize my cracker collection, so that way I can work from the ground up on the hissing factor from the Pipster as to what she likes the least in her lunches, in fact, I need a cracker collection. I will need to bulk up on the hot liquid department now that I have bought Pip a fuschia coloured thermos. She was all over the thermos... now I need to get all over the soup section at the grocery store. This means routine grocery shopping, not random.

OH MY GOD... summer is over!

Tell me why

I added a word verification thing to my little blue blog here.. not sure why, I just did. I guess the blogger people told me I could add it, so it seemed the right thing to do. I just tested it out, and almost got the letters wrong. Crap, I can't even comment on my own blog correctly... but then, looking back ... I of course realized that the font was extra fancy and in a curved line. I am a little mixed up... it's a word verification, not an alphabet deciphering prize winning question. What ever happened to "sans serif" or "courier"?

The edge of reason

Last night I put my corner rounder to the test. I cut up some of my pictures, and rounded up the corners, blasted down some coloured mats, rounded those corners.. and I just kept on rounding. Yes, I have a whole photo album from our little time away from the holiday-not-from-hell this year.... and almost the whole album has got rounded corners. Well, the first two pages are not rounded, as I didn't decide to start rounding until page three. But I am not really counting.

I had the most interesting observation/conversation last evening with someone more stubborn than a pack of mules on a good day. One of the Debbie's had somehow acquired some sort of bite on her ankle the day before, then by last night her whole foot, ankle and part of her leg was quite swollen, and discoloured. Despite listening to myself and the other Debbie ramble on with practical, common sense and obvious advice that the ankle bitten Debbie should have had someone with some sort of medical background look at it, rather than hope it was going to go away... she was still aiming to go to work this morning, stand there and sort her mail. You go Debbie... hopefully she found a box big enough to stuff her foot into this morning....

The last day of summer...

It has hit me hard this morning. I have now come to the realization that for me, it is the last day of summer holidays. I'll just sip my tea, and stare off into space.. and contemplate my last day of not having to be somewhere at 0900 during the week, and 0730 on the weekends. It's going to be 22 degrees out there today, but I now can't wait for the winter break to arrive.

Oh pleasant thought

I thought of something yesterday which delighted me in a most wonderful way. There will be no soccer this year for the girl. I am not frowning in despair over this lack of soccerness, or forgotten registration.. I am delighting in the fact. Even better... cheers to no soccer this year. Oh happy me, happy me.

And...for the girl that doesn't get the soccer. She still doesn't get it, or those menacing extra long legs of hers either. I am going with a another year of gymnastics where she can continue to practice her cartplunking originally known as cartwheeling.