creative chaos

So yesterday was probably the most remarkable in the greatest of longest times that have been thrown my way in an absurd number of minutes that have slowly ticked past.

When things come together sometimes .... things really come together. I like life's moments when all the chunky parts fit into my great shoebox of stories, of course leaving open the option for a little overflow .. out through the top.

I watched crazy boy jump in the backseat of the little car, so they could drive and pickup their touring van ... and out on the big road they would go. You know how you dread that final moment ... he's gone ... well ... he was gone just that quick ... the last minute jumper cables strewn across the backseat ... to embark upon big adventures traveling across four provinces. Wow. Cool. Wish I had the brawn, braves, talent and passion to have done the same thing at his age. There is no what next for this guy ... only a free range of what's coming at them. Fortunately .. it was not the moose lying on the side of the highway ... only a giant grasshopper stuck in their grill that crazy boy insisted would have eaten him for lunch. They are headed through the rockies today ... I am so grateful he will get to feel their majestic power and brilliance through to his fingertips. I have a feeling for the mr piano playing boy ... this will serve for inspiration. I did ask too ... that if he were to spot a grizzly ... the inspiration to actually photograph it for me would be a kind gesture to the crazy bear loving mother ! This next two weeks will be a lifetime of adventure into his 100's !!

In things equally marvelous, stupendous and colourfully eye popping exciting:

A friend last minute face.booked me and invited me to her friends garden. I questioned her ... as in .... is it a plant sale, or a viewing .... cool ... not a plant sale, but rather a reason to celebrate the hardworking efforts of the garden space around her. I loved it ... I absolutely loved it ... just getting to melb in with the colours that keep my brain soothed by my own lack of garden-ness this year. I will not fault myself .. an obvious decision based on the fact ... I don't know ... just something I had to give up this year. It was that shell cracking braveness that makes you walk into a complete strangers yard by yourself, and not even explain who you actually are. That for me was comical, like I was on a spy mission ... sort of. I didn't offer up an explanation either! There was no point ... we were all there for the same reason ... to enjoy the whimseys of someone's gardening magic, far beit mine!

AND then when things don't stop ... this happens:

I realized that I had completely overbooked my world yesterday. Too much, too crazy, too many obligations ... the fallout is the anguish of dealing with that window of pain that serves too much of my attention for great parts of the day ... which .. I work hard at  trying to completely ignore ... so ... as things somedays are meant to be ... things just started unfolding ... I had cooperation on all levels with the pain gods, and we worked out a deal ... I needed to get through these tasks of the day ... it was important. It would give me something to write about ... today of course. Gawd. Come on all you followers out there ... you know I got nothing ! he he he he he he he.

Anyways ... back to the adventures ... I was going to cancel ... and then I didn't, and am very thankful for that thought process to have willed me to carry on .. I'm not a canceller of sorts kinda person. Not my style ... however if people cancel on me ... well ... that is how life rolls some days ... however mine ... was rolling in the right direction. GAWD ... liven the thrill. I'd say.

I didn't know really what to expect at my workshop event. I mean I kinda knew .. but wasn't really sure where it would take me ... but i knew one thing .. I would come across clarity ... or a direction, or an avenue, or a new way of thinking .. about who I am . ... or my next path in life. Sounds DEEP. yes, it probably is, however .. I am not really afraid of the deep end ... unless of course I am in the middle of the ocean, then there is that TITANIC TERROR that uncoincidentaly does arise.

So I made a picture board ... using all sorts of images, and random words. The workshop director called it "words out" ... finding a hidden message or a meaning using the images and words that have come together on the board. Interestingly mind didn't emerge as words FREAKING out... It was quite simple, and yet quite cool ... kinda like scrapbooking, but not. There was nobody but yourself to please. I was quite pleased, it's fun to please no one. Thank gawd. The friend is running another workshop next week, I would really wish to go .. and am having a hard time saying no ... it kinda boils down to cash, and the timing ... it's downtown .. and finishes at 4:00 ... right at the beginning/middle of rush hour. And yet ... I really wish to do another .. as I am only just getting started being creative again .. Im thinking. Maybe I am semi creative ... actually ... I think I might be more creative than I let myself me. FRicking life obligations. What a good excuse !Which I am tired of using ... non the less maybe it's time to stop using that as an excuse and become more of something that I see for myself. WELL .. I see myself reading a book ... and that doesn't even happen ... so uhmmm .. being creative with objects and items and paint brushes probably is still complex for me at this second. Dont ask me how that is. I need a driver ... CHUCK .. get me to the studio ... now there it is folks ... that will make me creative ... he will even order my starbucks for me with one of my ten thousand gift cards that I keep creating with my cashed in pop cans. Now that is fricking creative .... trading water bottles for coffee cards. I am the next CHEESUS. Except I am a cheap CHEESUS ... cause I only want to buy a TWO DOLLAR cup of coffee .. non of that fancy pants triple foamed single shotted minus water shit that other people spit out ... It's interesint how coffee and complicated can be put into the same sentence, and it seems to make sense. So .. back to CHUCK my new driver ... and driving me to the studio ... hmmm will wait a bit longer before I make my decision. .. although in reality .... however that works in my fake world .... should be easy .... JUST do IT. IDIOT.

So .. back to my day ... that was the day before yesterday now .. I had to give up writing ... well .. because I just couldn't write any longer ... the pain from this EVER SO WONDERFULLY HEALING FOOT was creating a living purgatory ... nope ..that's a lie .. actually a slide straight to HELL ..while trying to stay in communicado with my little blogosphere world that I have created here ...

AT any rate ... me, the Fuss, the lovely Lady J and her equally lovely mother went off to BRUNO MARS ... in the greatest of places VANCOUVER ... and had the best time, first we ate, and drank and made our way to Rogers Arena ... I didn't even consider going to see Bruno until the boyson said he was taking Miss J ..... now this guy turned out to be just lovely... well ... my boyson and BRUNO MARS himself. . Although he didn't talk to the moon, as I was hoping he would. The boyson was supposed to be the accompanmient ... but he was busily visiting Prince George with his band. LAWD knows why ...

A semi long day, and well into the night ... but well worth it ... and that is how it all looked yesterday ... and into today ... and now for more news ...

Tuesdays with the Light Girl

Welcome to Tuesdays episode in the Light Girl series. However, I am only at day TWO of this series, and quite possibly could be the last in the series .. I'm just saying .. cause the tangent could change in approximately FOUR minutes .. onto a completely knew topic ! Currently I seem to be having a bug issue ... I can not type in the screen that says compose, although I can type in the screen that says HTML. Odd, highly odd ... hmmmm... Anyways .. back to the light girl adventures. Well .. the end. Because there werent any. My day consisted of being low key, dropping stuff off at the church (clothes donations), visiting the sister at our friends house, where the sister is revamping our friends garden. That's a lot of work .. kind of a big project ... actually a super big project .. but what does one say .. about anything? The majority of the day was spent just milling about .. doing the boredom adventures in laundry mayhem, oh and driving the boy to his most beautiful GF's house .. because he forgot his wallet the night before at somebodies house, and that somebody lives an hour away .. so he is retrieving it today from the person via the skytrain station ... and guess who will be driving him there ?? ! WE have concluded hat the boy is an attractent for copper type people. He just has to smile at one, and they follow him. ALL. THE. TIME. Hence .. when he forgot his wallet .. I suggested that he not put fate in his hands and not have an actual drivers license to produce if they pull him over. The fellow can't catch a break ... despite being a clean cut character that he is ... I am still in the clear with the tattoo business ... he isn't confidant that it's something that he needs .. even though a whack of his friends are busily inking themselves till the cow come home ... That boy of mine is concerned about how people will perceive him .. if he is loaded with tattoos, at an important job interview .. at least that is what he has told me. Very well, I will go with that ... Todays light adventures have already happened ... so the real trick here is ... it can also serve as an energy source for getting rid of wrinkles .. uhmmm hello ... welcome to my face infrared technology !! I am still completely intrigued and beyond fascinated with these infrared LED lights. Today marks a month that I have purchased my own set, and this is when the real healing of that little foot has taken place. Completely whacko scary and exciting ... all in the same breath! I am hoping that todays pain threshold will just STFU, and be silent and let me do my thing .. whatever that may be. Other than that .. I have motored my way through laundry, breakfast and watering the business about the yard .. not too industrious .. and yet just enough ... for 10:30 in the morning .. ha ha ha ha ha ha ... as the rest of the world runs marathons around me ! Well ... just because I'm light girl .. doesn't mean that I work at the speed of light .. I mean . ... c'mon !

Halt !

You have reached the RED light district !!

A very long almost ONE month ago I posted about these fancy dancy LED (light emitting diodes) infrared lights. Yes ... a whole almost ONE month ago.

I will break down the timeline:

Dr after different Dr visits. On and on for months. Being met with stares of disbelief, and looks of futility. I read peoples minds people. Unfortunately these very well schooled people were searching for ways of helping .. however ... their plans to succeed were met with a failure ... called me. Well, not me per say ... just the BIG challenge of ONE LITTLE foot. Which completely refused to heal, in any way shape or form. Interesting, to say the least.

June 1st arrives, and I take a picture of that one little ugly foot. The PICTURE that changed my world.

For the past (well now more than) 30 days, until July 1st ... I watched this foot transform. This little foot has transformed from one slightly horrific gargantuan mess with no end marked in sight ... for what seems like a light beam ...

On June 5th I embarked on this LED light therapy ... OK ... I guess this seems to be working .. immediately (well almost) the pain settled down. ( I was to be fooled) .... so for 5 days I drove for 2 1/2 hours to catch beams of infrared on this little foot. ... it seemed worth it ... I slept ... like for the whole night, THROUGH. No, this wasn't me being crazy .. I actually slept.

June 9th .. I purchased my own set ... and I can now openly honestly whole heartedly admit thru and thru and thru again .. I will never look back on that day. From that day forward I have been utilizing the healing powers of these LED lights .. and wondering to myself .. does my foot actually look better .. ?? The pictures tell the real story.

What I can tell you .. that pain relief .. was short lived .. it was replaced by agonizing relentless pain, kind of indescribable in a sense. So what I have began to surmise over the now (longer than) course of the month is the very horrific pain that I have been subject to has been healing pain.

Wow. Healing pain. Nice ... so now .. you take a foot, which doesn't heal, but loves to break down (or remain inflamed), and FORCE it to heal .. you tell me ... fun or not fun ? The foot has spent the past year and a half in charge of whatever it wishes to do ... and now, it's no longer the boss, ..it isn't in charge of all things that are angry. It is kicking and screaming and having it's very own hissy fit of madness because it has had the wind sucked out of it's sails ... and is having to play follow the leader to happiness. It's pissed.

However ..the real owner of this whole mess is part and parceling her way through the day ... somedays there are good days ... where the painful poison of the previous inflamed demon settles itself, and there is energy that abounds ... and then there are days where the pain sensors are ringing off the charts, and this person is none too happy about the whole mess. I look at this foot and stare in wonderment .. how can this freaking wound cause this much havic ? How is this even possible ? If someone were to look at this foot now ...they would tell me I am nuts .. completely cracked insane assylum building worthy ... off I go .. Key .. what key?

I have kept an ongoing UGLY foot detail of the healing progress on my iphone. I have taken pictures once a day, even twice a day .. just to document the amount of healing that has gone into this ulcer, in just a months time. If I hadn't of been the absolute recipient to this amount of healing, in this short of time, I would have proclaimed it not possible, absolutely impossible ! A wound that has remained in a state of unhealing for easily over 7 months, has practically healed up within just over a months time. Uhm. Whacko birdy ... come back to your cage ... someone calls to me ...

I guess with that amount of healing ... for whatever reason, there is a certain amount of violent pain that accompanies this whole mess. Cells are regenerating at LIGHT speed, and nerve cells are fire crackering left right and center ... and tissues are setting up new networks of relationships, and a whole host of excitement is busily transforming once was a massive state of chaos. That in itself sounds painful.

I think I am almost used to the state at which this is healing ...  on top of the pain, there is the state of
tiredness that creeps its way into your life. Yes ... hmmnn. ... sit down on this couch .. let me hear this story ... however true it is. Yes .. I am to guess slash conclude that with this rate of healing .. it probably tires out the body in the regenerating cell factory. Fancy speak I am going to guess. Where once I was exhausted dealing with the trauma of the foot itself, now I am just tired from the state of perpetual regeneration. Healing is work. I'm guessing.

This is a whole lot of fluff from the mind of a boring crackerbird .. but I am surmizing this might just be the case ... whether belieable or not. At any rate ... where I wished to walk on the beach, and let this foot touch sand .. I might just reach that milestone by the end of this summer .. at least that's my guess ... although .. me actually risking anything touching this foot outside of a bandage, and some infrared lights may be far be the case it seems.

Wow .... that was a whole lot of surmizing and guessing. However .. forever documented this will be. !

Any diabetics in your life, where wound healing issues are a threat to their health ? Perhaps looking into this infrared LED light therapy could be a game changer for all those non healing wounds out there. Scary to think ... light ... that heals ... ? Well .. I am walking proof that this isn't the hokus pokus that I was terrified it might be ... there is nothing that I have done in the last month that could have healed this wound at the incredible speed to which it has healed .. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ... except purchase a very expensive set of lights that I have put on my foot daily ... for up to three times a day. Wow.

In other things far more exciting ... that I can think of .... remotely ... maybe ...

So now that I own someone that has graduated from highschool ... life becomes far more interesting in the parenting department. The rules change. Somehow. I'm not sure how that is ... but they do. This is a learning curve in all departments ... for years .. we were left in charge of destiny ... now .. he's in charge ... now I am just a little bird that chirps words that keep him plunking forward. He has three days off from his job .. I asked him why he has three days off ... !!? I suggested that he go talk to his people ... and ask for any extra hours they can find .... he is in need of a great amount of money ... in the coming weeks (uhm .. who isn't?) ... mind you ..he's young ... and doesn't know this kind of stuff ... so instead of three days off .. what about two days ? ... I'm hoping he gets my drift .. as in ... SEEK MORE HOURS !! oh crazy boy of min !

Poochy boy is making his advances in the world of craziness. We can now give him a soft bird, which we have dubbed "gentle bird" ... because that is what he is beginning to demonstrate ... that he can be GENTLE with his BIRD ... which means that we don't have to take it away from him 5 minutes after we give it to him. His other soft toys have been chewed, ripped, stretched and demolished ...  they no longer exist ... odd ! I think the whole thing gentle is a learned thing .. he loves to bite .. everything ... a lot .. a whole lot ... but given that he is a real thinking dog ... we keep him busy ... and kind of out of trouble. When he starts getting the case of the bads, and insists on behaving in ways that we ask him not to, it's time for a nap ... poor guy ... looks like a big boy dog .... with big white fangs chomping at the bit .. and yet ... off he goes ... in for his nap, .. where he plunks over .. and ZZZZZZZZ's up a storm ... although it is a forced ZZZ storm ... all the same .. if he wasn't tired, and just bored .... he would put up some form of protest .. maybe sort of !

I never speak of getting my hair coloured any longer ... I guess it becomes boring when one is NOT in charge of these sorts of things any more. I gave up with the boxed colour a way big time ago .. and now belong to the assorted fairy tale of adventures of heading to a salon ... for the colouring madness to commence. How fortunate for me ... that I am just "that rich!" And laughter ensues. Big Time.

Is it bad that I am going to apply for a job for the little miss fusspot ?? She requires a job ... her choir will be embarking on another large trip this next spring (2014), and that will require large sums of money ... I think I would like her to pay for half of it ... or ... if they are going someplace good .. I would like to tag along for the ride !! Now that would be comical fun .. No? It think yes ... big fun .. as I would just be along for the ride .. paying my way, with no real responsibility ... other than an adult presence in the vicinity. They were talking about New York or New Orleans ... either one would be cool.... I'm guessing. In the meantime ... I am on a mission for this girl to become gainfully employed ... at something .. this is the first summer in a great long number of summers that she actually has NOTHING to do .. last summer she volunteered up a storm ... which she said she would never do again ... and then the other day .. out popped the question .. do you think it would be too late for me to try and do some volunteering somewhere ..? Poor fuss ... this girl LOVES to be busy ... doing something ... however the second she becomes busy .. then I become busy ... hmmmm ... one has to be careful of what they wish for !

Currently I wish for another cup of coffee .. it isn't hard ... boil kettle. add starbucks. it's that simple. challenging daily event ONE oh ONE.

In case any of my loyal followers are wondering ... I am big into trying to NOT do anything today .. and yesterday ... and probably tomorrow . and maybe the day following. I have had some revelations ... that have come only one year too late .. I'm thinking ... or at least ONE month less late . or maybe ... while I am in this state of perpetual speed healing .. I am trying to do nothing that remotely taxes my energies. Sounds whimp like and cry baby ISH ... however my theory is exactly this ... DO NOTHING that will institute stress or discourse while this hyper healing state is wildly happening. I'm thinking that the tiredness ( I am  not even sure whether it can be documented as tiredness), or rather this state of NON BEING is what is keeping me on the down low ... I guess I failed to mention three thousand paragraphs back .... all of this craziness is under the direction and guidance of  .... me. None of the doctory people around these parts (or that I have dealt with) know anything about this (LED light therapy business), nor do the wound care nurses, and the person who is the light therapist kind of person, is (I don't want to say JUST, because the implications are dismissive like) a person that has a health and wellness background, however doesn't have a medical background. There is one person that the light therapist person converses with, and he is a Doctor - way into the Americas, which in some cases is a world away, and yet not, however .. he sees pictures taken from an iphone, which can be deceiving in a positive/negative way. I have no communicado with him ... and no support, other than the light therapist person that had completely massive success using the lights, however her condition albeit the same, was worldy different .. (so yes ...other than the approval from the doctors around here that I have nothing to lose .. although they know nothing about this type of treatment)  ... that is the state at which I am currently in. Gotta wonder why I seem so wildly confused about so many things ... semi sort of.

One thing ... perhaps ..my whacko jacko humour has found it's way back ... on sporadic occasions ... I mean it's there .. but not there ... or maybe I never had it .. and thought I did ...

In other things semi comical ... I was busily playing words with friends with someone that I know ... she invited me to play ... after two games ... that I thought we were highly evenly matched .... she rejected an offer to play a third game with me ... drag .... what's the deal with that ... other than ... upon checking her stats ... she sits in pretty high ranking in points ... and big word scores ... perhaps evil came to town ... when I beat her both times. (echoes of chuckles ... from the grand 1365 square foot house erupt from the open doors and windows ....

That is all ..

Call me a crackerjack

But I invested...

In LIGHT THERAPY.

LED lights.

Light emitting diodes.

I saw the research presented by Dr. Thomas J Burke. It appeared authentic. He appeared authentic. NA.SA has a hand in using this therapy. Now upon reading about wound healing and Light Therapy ... I considered that I absolutely can't go wrong. AT this point in the game I have had nothing extensively that has worked in my wound healing, with the exception of antibiotics once the wound has become so irritably horrific that is was moving towards a path of already absolute horrific-ness ... but now ... I have found the light. I am hoping to holy crap that this is what will move me into the next dimension of my life .. which is where I left off .. some where way back into last year ...

Fingers crossed ...

In other things ...

WE are closing into days at which the boy is done school.

I found alcohol in the cupboard ... I think I will ingest it .. all of it .. no wait .. I think I may just purchase a special bottle .. for my enjoyment ... and wait ... my friends enjoyment ... we will plan our course carefully .. perhaps she and I will have a drinkfest on my front porch .. and then for another occasion .. like the very next day .. we will have a drinkfest on her backporch .. and then for good measure .. we will visit one anothers homes ... and then repeat the performance .. until we get it right .. PLUS .. we can absorb the fact that our boys have actually graduated. Will wait upon further instruction and information to ensure that this is the exact case .. somehow I believe that I might just be walking in a dream.

Speaking of dreams .. I am going to have to text my friend .. I normally text her daily .. and haven't done so daily .. just out of respect for things like .. OH .... I don't know .. the fact that she may not wish to hear from me on an hour by hour basis ... although .. maybe she does .. except for the fact that she got me hooked on watching The Walking Dead... and hello .. I extremely DISLIKE it .. and then am addicted to watching it .. PLUS .. now I have nightmares about the freaking zombies .. so then I stopped watching it .. because I just couldn't take it any longer .. and then when I talked with my friend we discussed the characters, and what they brought forth to the show, and the sociology behind it .. and of course NOW .. I must watch he remaining episodes ... except I have to get past the horrific-ness of the visuals itself, and focus on the happenings ... very interesting conversation to come out of this very disturbing program. Thanks TV .. Love you. Sort of.

Hokus Pokus

Fiddle de dee ...
What is this Light Therapy
And will it be good for me?

People, I will tell you something. Some things in life are meant to happen. I'm not sure whether or not this is one of them... but I am going to go with this is one of the things in life ... that was meant to happen.

I was introduced to Light Therapy last Saturday, and while I didn't try it .. it just looks like something that I should be trying. There was a researcher up from the states ... and he was busily telling about the effects of light therapy. Interesting. I am going to try it ... what else have I got to lose ... other than a foot/leg.

In other things way less drama filled ....

The boy is busily moving towards graduation. Uhm Yae.

The girl .. is busily moving towards her personal great self. Uhm Yae.

Currently I am trying to determine whether or not the boy is going to school this morning or not. It has been an on going isssue for ... I don't know ... before time.... I'm guessing. What a beastly effort of uselessness. I can't stand the constant nattering at this guy to go. FOR GAWD SAKES .. just go ... I scream in my brain .. but I will not scream that at him ... interesting how he just doesn't get it. I am lucky though .. he does get going to work, he does get going to band practice, he does get being at certain events and locations on time, and now he does understand the result of people working to a schedule. This school bullshit is just a matter of formality. All I wish for is the magic ticket of the GRADUATION paper. That will lead to bigger and better ..

The girl says to me yesterday ... I think I will go into medicine. I told her medicine has many facets .. try being an ultrasound tech, or a Nuclear Medicine tech ... respiratory therapist .. uhm ... a bit yucky ...and she doesn't know that you are forced into running .. on occasion .. however I have known a few that saunter .... or better yet .. sit and wait "for an inpending code" ..

Apart from watching these two age .. I have watched myself age. This past year .. I have aged a lot ... I think. Or not ... I look less Snow Whitish !! With my way lighter hair ... and highlights that snow white never had ! HA ! The hair do is just way more manageable ... not sure how that is, but it is .. !!

In things that make me laugh .. I really wish to vacuum out my car ... and for some reason I live in a force field of aversion ... I frequent a gas station ... where it has the ability to vacuum ... except the days that I wish to vacuum ... I am looniless ... and this machine only takes loonies. My iluck. There is a slightly closer option to vacuum the vehicle .. but of course .. it takes cash .. which I never seem to have with me when the urge to vacuum strikes at me. Of course there is the option of the home vacumming system... but that involves opening the garage door .. which I can't seem to open on many given days or instances .. and then hauling out extension cords and the vacuum cleaner ... it is just a big huge effort ... which on most minutes ticking by on that world clock ... is too big in my world. So I will drive around in a dusty like car ... well .. not entirely dusty ... as I do wash the dash ... and the windows with my favourite NORWEX clothes !!! People, rush out .. and get yourself some ... talk about time saving .. !!! and money saving .. I love to wash my windows ... it's a simple ... wash and dry technique ... and there isn't any cleaning solutions involved .. and guess what ... the windows are clean !! NO LIES INVOLVED. here ....

In other things that involve no lying:

I wish I had a housekeeper. For real. That way the cupboards would all be clean on the same day, so would the floor, perhaps even the bathrooms ... on the SAME day ... in the meantime ... I march around and clean something daily ... not entirely an odd routine ... however I am not so good at doing one whole day of cleaning ... that doesn't work in my books ... not sure why !!

Well ... time to travel through out the worlds ... enjoy your business .... whether real or magical ... or simply HOKUS POKUS.

Well .. just before I delete things ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can't believe this: GRADUATION!!

These two have known one another since mere babies .. well ... it was a friendship forced by the parental connections ... as us and her parents are good friends... they are equally crazy ... and given the chance to let that craziness be known ... they come by it naturally. It has nothing to do with their parents... I'm sure of it !!

Scene it ... take 4

Life of the bamboozled. I am the queen of it ..

I sauntered around the towns yesterday .. driving in the five, not as in walking.

This is how the world of mine works ...

Did I tell you people about the fact that I had two crowns put on my teeth? One was root canaled .. the other NOT. OK .. so just as an FYI ... crowns with no freezing on the last appointment when they get their final GLUE IN .. they work with a root canaled tooth .. not so much with a LIVE tooth. HoLY FREAKING mustard jars ... that was similar to just taking a fork on your tooth ... and just leaving it there ... for like ... 5 days. I kid you not. WTF was I thinking .. they offered my freezing ... but then said ... it would make it hard to get a good bite impression at the end ... given that I have had not a lot of success with the bite thing .. I said sure. FUCKING FATAL MISTAKE.... well near fatal .. as I sit and type this now ..

And that was yesterdays start ... written for the day before .. and now here I am today .. still on yesterdays thought ... and moving onward ...

Friday ... somehow I believed I could go to work today. Ok what a fricking idiot. Perhaps the thought of just fake going to work kept me awake from 0300 on. I wrangled with the idea of getting up .. but decided since the coldness of the night would creep in and strangle me .. it was just best to stay awake ... lying in bed. I had a case of the starves ... and sometimes eating some crackers and peanut butter will put an end to that business .. but alas .. I could not be shook .... I wasn't willing on the movement process.

Day 3 today ... of my fourth round of IV antibiotics ... I said to the doctor the other day ... we need to get mean .. and show this bug whos in charge ... this whole one pill every twelve hours that slides through your gut and has to be absorbed first then sent off to fight an infection doesn't seem to be cutting it ... I think throwing it through the blood stream before it even knows whats coming is a far sneakier and meaner way of tackling this. Kind of like that whole Raid commercial .... ooohh .. aren't they cute little bugs ... NOT ! That's my dr speak language ... they (well she) seems to understand it. ... or at least understands my concept of what approach I'm interested in.

I am hoping that for the next 10 days that my viens will cooperate. There seems to be that little issue of needing a vein ... and finding a vein that has been the situation many times over. I drink ... not alcohol unfortunately ... but rather water ... to keep the puffiness factor ... except that doesn't seem to work for me ... will google that.

I don't have much else going on .. I signed up for a food safe course. Probably should take a camera course .. cause clearly my teachings are heading out the window ... QUICKLY.

The dementia group is going good. I think. Although I don't think I would get too many complaints ... cause they don't really remember stuff anyways .. I have bags of balloons that I am now housing in my homeland ... and three bags worth of stuff, while the real leader is away in England ... once she returns .. I will send the stuff back .. and she can keep it ... the nice thing is .. all the planning has been taken care of .. I just need to show up .. run the program .. and be on my way .. I am quite liking that aspect of the group .. although the group is very very very quiet .. so it's me .. being a chatterbox of sorts to maintain conversation .. and the sense that something is going on in the space. There are two very very dedicated volunteers that run the group .. and wow .. they are just amazing ... they take such good care of everyone ... it makes my heart explode that they are just that phenominal .. which is why it made it even easier for me to take over this group .. just until June. NINE more sessions. Unless she comes back a bit earlier ... which she might want to ... and I will readily let her back in ... I think it would be good for people to see her before the summer break anyways ... that's just my thoughts ...

In other things ....

My closet needs a revamp. So does my dresser. So does my garden. So does my filing cabinet. I wonder when all of that is going to happen ... so many questions .. so many UN answered questions !

Well .. best go get this day organized ... I am semi stalling ... I need to wash my hair ... I guess I need to have a shower .. I can not get my foot wet .. and I can not get my hand wet. Things were much easier when it was just my foot ... one leg in the shower, one leg out .. now I have to go hunt down a glove for the hand .. that will work .. although the situation is challenging with the hand ... I can't SCREW up the IV site by constantly using it ... I have 10 days worth of antibiotics .. and about ONE vein left ... on that note ... take a drink .. and another ...  gawd how I wish this was alcohol !!

Luv yas!

Loyalists!

I'm here !

Living through the whackiest of evilest of moments in the past number of weeks ... but as always ... I am forever optimistic that my temporary station is just temporary .. and the gang busting crazy chick is out there somewhere .. just waiting to make an appearance.

In things that are boring. ME. I fit that description every state possible. I did read a book. That counts for excitement. However; the book even though it was an adventure ... left me kind of going .. hmmmm ... there are more in the series .. but once the main character escapes death seven times in one book .. it gets boring. VERY boring. I stuck the book out to the end .. just to see what happened. Yae me.

I'm making my way over to a new program I am running, even though it is temporary .. I am quite pleased to be doing something slightly different for a short period of time. I am hoping to wrap up all forms of my employment by the end of June, with the exception of a single luncheon in July & August with the peoples. Enough is enough with slouching along .. actually I am hoping to just be back to my boring work in July .. well .. if not sooner. But alas .. I have no control over who and what decides how I am going to proceed.... in the meantime .. I continue eating an antiinflammatory diet ... do my best to practice calm, even positive filled thoughts ... all the time.  I don't mind the crazy electrified energy that comes my way ... it helps me regain the momentum in reigning in who I once sort of was .. a crazed exercising middle aged boring wife with three jobs who likes to photograph all things .. while doing actually none of that ... good thing I really never took up cooking in my lifetime together with the husbandman and family .. otherwise I would be missing that ... however .. I am not.

The boys' band is making some movement towards building themselves upward and onward in this crazed music industry. I am hopeful that they might start to see their fan base grow .. and the Canadian world might begin to get to know their music .. cause they are ever so cute ...

The beastly furry boy is quite the character .. a wild boy outside .... ripping apart all sorts of things .. the latest was the barbeque cover .. that was actually being used to house my bike .. because at the time .. we no longer had a bbq .. now we have a bbq .. and no cover .. for my bike .. or the newly acquired bbq. Oh doggy dog ... how crazed he is. Just noticed him outside .. carrying around his freshly rolled in the dirt tennis ball .. and being all wild and cat like ... throwing it in all directions .. well .. it seems all have settled for the moment .. he is taking a time out on the trampoline ... Angus loves the trampoline ... it's his gazing spot .. and it helps in his ball rolling games that he likes .. of course the trampoline has taken quite the hit as far as human functionality .. he has chewed off all the foamy stuff, and ripped the netting apart .. but now that we don't have smallish children wishing to jump on it .. then it seems fit for Angus purposes ..

In other things that are MORE exciting than dog speak ...

WHAT ABOUT MY GARDENING ADVENTURES?

When will they happen .. will they EVEN happen ... at all ?

Currently I can not stand ont he foot for any sort of time .. I can walk ... I guess ... I am not sure if I am harming or curing myself with that maneuver .. I can't tell. Even still ..  I seem to think that I can do great gardening adventures ... which somehow involve a shovel and sure footedness. Stupidly wrong .. I will say that now. I am DEEPLY disappointed .. as I wished to recreate a visionary front yard this year .. something that would be pretty and elegant to look at ... now that the front of the house has changed .. somehow I haven't changed with the house so far .. so that vision .. will remain a vision. oh well.

OH .. the sun has found itself back in the sky .. and the high cloud has drifted away. I have another busy day ahead of me .. I am thinking .. so I best be moving along here .. nothing here to see I say people.

I thought I'd seen the light.

But apparently it was all a mistake.

HOLY CRuMPLE towns peeps life has spiraled super ultra crazy. Kind of. Semi. Perhaps yes.

Things seem to have shifted all over the place.

Where I thought things were straight forward, they have become far from it. I need a landlord to swoop in, and sort me out. What about a warden, ... what about a cleaning lady ... what about someone to take hold of the steering wheel .. what about a lecturer and an analyst. I need all these streams of conscious to get me through all of a sudden.

I need something or someone to walk me back onto this earth ... cause I'm sorta out there .

That was written yesterday ... what a nightmare of a day ... NIGHTMARE. No laughing this time ... as most days .. I can laugh ... except yesterday. Nope .. no humour found me ... actually ... that is a lie ... late into the evening the girl and I were watching a movie together ... and despite how horrendous the day had been .. the night was definitely on an upswing ... we watched Parental Guidance .. a very cute movie .. that I would not have otherwised watched if my Min Min hadn't wanted to. It was just what I needed.

Today .. like I had wished for is a better day. Thank you better day .. thank you.

Things will be different

When it hits spring. Those were my thoughts ... give things time, they will settle ... come together ... other things forgotten and long since past.

Today ... it's spring.

What's different.

Not much.

Sort of:

My Min is back from the United States of the Americas. She is not so intrigued with shopping, lots of places, not much to buy.

BUT .... the best thing that happened in the world was her taking my older Nikon D40. Now that chick loved hunting for pictures. A new member to my photo group is upon us!

While someone was quizzing me about this horrible situation that I believe is resolving with my foot it came to light that they were looking for an employee ... a temporary recreation therapy kind of person to run a dementia/alzheimer group.

I'm in. Like a wizard.

That was magical !!

I will start next week.

I have caught a hot lead on a bed .. that the MIN MIN really really really wants ... they are sold out here .. and have been hunting the craigslists ... hopefully my luck will pan out .. as this bed is just across the overpass from me. Lucky lucky I say !

The boy and his band were mentioned in a column in one of Vancouver's primetime newspapers. It was just a little mention .. however little it was ... somebody noticed their style of music, and the fact that it sounded that they actually put it together, that their EP was good .. and they were up and coming. Those very words .. as little as they may appear .. are HUGE in their eyes .. I would believe. Fingers crossed that we are going to actually start hearing these guys on the radio ... locally at some point.

The husbandman admittedly told me that he was looking for properties to buy ... and then go there to live. Uhmmmm ... I quizzed him what it looked like to have me involved in the whole house purchasing process .. or is this a singular process ...? Cause you know ... it's good to know these things and all. Just to put a frame of reference ... he is house shopping for the future ... not 10 minutes into the future.... for all my huge reading fans ... and Elton John's mom .. no need to worry.

Today I am watching the clock .. unlike yesterday .. when I watched the clock, and still arrived not on time ... well wait .. I should give myself credit .. I do not have an actual schedule of times and timed events .. although yesterday ... the day zipped past as I waited for someone ... anyone ... to find a vein. Which put me behind .. doing other assorted events .. however .. if one wishes to turn things completely around ... I may not be walking around with a brand new very temporary job that I am starting next week ... kind of fun actually !!

The dog is currently shredding his bed .. he loves to rip fabric .. and has taken to ripping up his bed ... he gently starts chewing on his bones ... and then it moves on to sitting and ripping .. we should have called him Shredder.

Happy first day of spring .. it's pouring out .. good thing I will not be washing my hair ... then I would truly look more and more like a crazy person. Which I am .. most of the time .. just covering it up with the appearance of highly hysterical hair ...

OH yes .. that is one thing that I could bank on that WOULDN'T be different ... !

Already a day later:

The past 24 hours has ticked by .. and I have to wonder what exactly I have done with my time ... cause the time has gone ... and I have been a part of that time ticking .. and yet I'm left wondering how the time ticked past without me knowing.

All too strange.

People wait for time, wish they had time, pass away the time, hope for more time, widdle away the time, run out of time, move with the time(s), wonder about time.

My time has been eaten up at a back door asking the dog not to bark, knocking on the window so that my dog wouldn't bark, opening the door for the dog standing at the door who wishes to come in, but wont walk past the threshold, discussing with the dog why he shouldn't bark, encouraging the dog that the birds and crows are things that live with him, the trees and shrubs are going nowhere so please dont bark at those, walk thru the back door, you can't stand in between because you can't make up your mind. That's how my time is spent. Talking to a dog. Who at the end of the day has no concept of time, nor does he really give a shit what I have to say.

In other things of timely matters:

I meant to clarify something .... humorous to me.... I spoke of little red pills a couple of posts back ... ya ... those little red sparklers ... are Easy Swallow Extra Strength Tylenol ... that I keep in my bag, my car, my bedside table and the kitchen cabinet ... that I spoke of splashing around ... clearly for Easy Swallowing Access !! A true junkie I would admit.

Even further timely adventures:

I talked to my MIN ... she is away in Portland with her choir. I howled ... what a trip ... a whack of expense ... (not REALLY counting the cash .. counting the TIME that has made this a great memory for her !) ... they have done ten thousand things .. which one would expect would include you know .. choir like singy like stuff ... nope ... ONE hour of singing .. the rest ... woo-hoo .... adventure land in Portland. I wish I would have gone .. but then again not ... the high pitched nasally mouse like mother lady accompanied them ... she scares me ... especially the sound that is emitted from her being. Oh .. is that rude ... questions this crazyish one !!

In things with excellent timing:

I was driving over to the hospital on Saturday . .... singing away to Adelle, (pretty song amidst her sadness of letting one go ... hmmm grass isn't always greener hey ) ... when a car rolls his window and frantically points at my rear wheel, which then imposed his franticism on me ... yup .. my rear right wheel was smoking like a crushed bonfire. HOLY FUDGESTARS .... I yelled back at him ... and then thanked him ... Had that exact episode happened a full 24 hours later .. I would have been wickedly screwed to a tree with no shade ... I made my way to a brake and muffler place .. and a whole ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS later ... I was ON THE ROAD AGAIN .. (thanks Willie) ... back doing my regular order of business. If bad things have got to happen .. at least this one was brilliantly placed into the day ... went off ... got my antibiotics .. walked back to the brake place from the hospital .. waited, sister arrived, we had some soup and coffee .. then still made my way to my meeting that I needed to attend .. a full 5 MINUTES behind schedule. THANK YOU oh great being that wishes to take care of my soul on most occasions, and the rest of the time .. I just don't realize ... but that day.. somebody was clearly loving me!

In other things of grand timing and adventure ...

The muscial one can not be out of school a moment too soon. A singular second too soon. I will wait for the moment to arrive ... and probably will buy a bottle of champagne .. and share it with the musical one.... and proclaim ... I SURVIVED !!!! Not congratulations ... not well done ... not wow look what you have achieved ... this celebration .. will be all about ME ME ME ME !!!!!! The immensity of the burden of ensuring his path to  scholastic success will have come to an end. With his Dogwood in his hands .. he can pursue anything he wishes ... and he will. I wish I could look Elton John's mom up in the phone book ... and have a chat .. except that I couldn't look her up ... cause I can't even remember Elton John's other name .. which is not important at this point .. rather just pointed out here for curiousities sake .. what was that guy like growing up ... ? He had to be something else ... how non typical of a typical was he ? So .. Mrs. Elton John's mom .. if you are reading ... give me a dingle .. I would love to know .. The boy is packing up and leaving right after he graduates .. him and his band ... off they go ... for three weeks. I will have to remind him that his cell phone bill will continue to rack up .. along with the monthly van payment that he has signed onto .. plus we are now on the hook for $400 worth of concert tickets that he is not going to be attending ... that he has to pay for .. worrisome .. yup ... although .. craigslist will be our friend for that one ... All the same ..... as time has ticked on for this kid .... he has already done MORE in his 18 years of life than I would have dreamed of doing by the time I was ... well .. whatever age I am now ... ha ha. His latest claim to fame .. NOT SO MUCH REALLY ... was the hugely insulting and very hard hitting reality of being in the music industry (if that is what they are in) ... they (the band) decided to drop their drummer ... probably the cutest sweetest looking character out of the bunch .... clink, boom, kick .. blindsided. DONE. I am not sure of many 18 year olds that walk around with the burden of knowing that THEY have been the cause of changing one persons life ... (maybe in the end for the better .. who knows) .. at any rate .. the boy had a hand in firing a friend, and fellow bandmate from a low paying job .. simply because "the band" didn't believe that the drummer was on board with getting this band bigger. Hmmmm. I am excited to find out ... that this crazy band is using up their profits to record a SINGLE ... of a song which I truly LOVE .. however ... they plan on going on tour ... I wonder with what money are they planning on doing that with .. ? Anyways .. they are young .. and I personally think if when I graduated that I could jump in a van with 4 other guys and tour and make people happy with the professional sounds of these guys ... well ... does that just not SCREAM adventure .. AND ... all of which these guys have ALL GRADUATED !!! (personal struggle with that my friends .. a long long long road ... ) .. I will be so happy to see the boy pick up and go ... what a way to suddenly have to realize HOLY FUDGEMONKIES this is life !!! The boy has already said that with the spring break currently happening this second around these parts .. his stress level is about 59 degrees less ... he feels musical again. Holy SHIT ... can't wait to hear when he really is musical then .. however .. I won't let the depressing fact of him knowing that he needs actual real live money to make his world go around ...  I wish him ten trillion blessings ... and if yes .. Eltons mom .. give me a call ... I wish to pick your brain .. k thanks.

6 days to go ... I'm hoping ... on these crazy ass antibiotics .. I've never heard of it ... "Ertepenem" ... I have got the wickedessssss taste in my mouth .... which will certainly stop once these are done .... but holy crapville .... as long as they RID me of the wicked evil bug that has inhabited me ... along with the wicked evil seering nasty ugly pain that goes along with it ... I am hoping that things are getting better ... AND one would wonder .. well holy shit .. can't you see the difference ... uhmmmmm ... no ... this bug has lived a long time inside before it made it's real presence known ...  and the doctorly peeps suggested it was JUST nerve pain ... well .. they were right ... nerve pain, bug pain ... all around pain ... GO AWAY ... YA THANKS .. now that would all be in good timing ...

So ya ... in other things ... it looks like I have managed to KILL a whack of time ... mind you ... it has been in daylight hours, and not in a form of a text ... so good on me ... I have only opened nad closed the back door approximately 24 times since writing this ... cause that's what I do with a 10 month old dog that doesn't know he has to share his space with nature ... what a dumb dumb ... however ... that will only take time !

I was going to write a story:

It was going to be grand in length
Full of colour and adventure
One of power and of strength

Mystifying moments
Untangled upon the page
Fingers all a fury
The story of love and rage

However for the past 30 minutes
I have stood and sat  back down
Playing with my dogs ball
That leaves me feeling like a clown

If he isn't barking at the crows
Then he was crying about his ball
Where I used the broom
To retrieve his bellowing calls

The crows are busy crowing
And he doesn't like what they say
His ball falls under the stairs
Which he can not retrieve in any way

I have to be at the hospital
In about 30 minutes from now
My hair is a fine mess
Which needs a completel overhaul

I have to give it a wash
and blowdry and style too
and keep this stupid saline lock
from catching any dew!

Meanwhile Mr. Crybaby
barks at the all the birds
I am trying to keep him quiet
as this has turned absurd.

If one was to watch me
The back door open and close
A dog at the top of the steps
that wont come in the house past his nose

He turns and runs away
as you open up the door.
Unless you give him a wonderful treat
or maybe twenty four.

Silence has hit the homefront
AS he has entered upon the home
I hear that he has found something
Oh brother .. It's his most favourite bone.

This involves running,
and dropping it all around
letting it slide across the floor
and other assorted sounds.

Wish me luck upon my adventure
as my time is running thin
No wonder I can't make it to my destinations
I am here, and taking care of HIM!

Imagine waking up to this:

I hate scary dreams ... Well first of all they are scary . ANd second of all ... They are just so annoying to wake up to. I think my brain is quite possibly fried. I am having quite the challenge concentrating. Now I know you are having that little problem of breathing .. So hopefully that will be resolved with some DR-ing assistance and a piece of paper.



You know ... I hate scary sounds .. Like sounds that are similar to daytime sounds .. But you hear them at night. They are just 17 times scarier.



Back to the scary dream ... Ya .. I hate it when you see the scary person from afar ... ANd they know who you are otherwise .. Especially when they see you in the distance .... Even though you are in a group of people .. It's just so singular feeling!!



The little (HUGE O MATIC) 10 month old dog is making little sucking sounds in his sleep ...



This night can be over with now. So can this day. I bet for you the same thing.



I am reaching into my trinket drawer and consuming some of my magic smartie pills. I went to my moms the other day .. And she had a BIG bottle of the easy swallows .. .. She can't take them .. So I inherited them ... I splashed them around the places I frequent ..



Sometimes I like furnace ... The humm just lulls me into closing my eyes ... However now ... When I'm feeling spooked .. It hinders my ability to hear, not including the blinding white light staring me in the face currently and the ringing ears .. I think your ears just ring sometimes because your brain wakes up and says its quiet.



Tracy told me she worked 12 hr shifts this weekend. I feel bad ... Although ... I couldn't be at work ... I'm not smart enough suddenly ( having problems focusing and sitting!)...



I think I'm kinda tired ...  yesterday Completely slept thru rods annoying alarm, the annoying rock 101 morning show ..(and for classic rock they sure play obnoxious music first thing in the morning!) and my alarm ... MISSED IT ALL... And I never even fluttered an eyelash to any of the sounds .... UNLIKE NOW ... When I thought I heard the familiar sound of the creak from the laundry room door at the other end of the house .. Which is why the fact that the furnace keeps running is slightly irritating to me. Oh and his loveliness 's snoring .. I'm talking human.. Not animal .. The furry guy is currently quiet in all forms of his dreaminess!!



When we speak of strange happenings ... Graham and I were killing ourselves laughing yesterday .. With the casual attitude that we have towards a dog walking up to the open fridge, nicely opening the crisper .. And politely selecting a single apple that was sitting by itself outside of a bag, and walking out the backdoor with it .. I shut the crisper and the fridge door .. And we carry on talking ... It wasnt till a few moments later that we realized the hilarity of it ... Sorta similar to snoopy from Charlie Brown.



Well .. Now I'm in the bathroom ... All signs of robbers will have left the homestead by now due to the fact they have been spotted .. And the bathroom light has gone on ... I know this because the silence that amasses me .... Now that the furnace has temporarily silenced itself ... However now it has restarted and the even scarier toilet flush in the night must take place . I've always hated flushing the toilet at night .. The sound is 34 times scarier I'm thinking.


Well .. Now I'm back in bed ... Sir was infiltrating my side .. So I shined this light into his face .. Now holy catnip I would have had a shitfit heart attack if somebody did that to me .. He however took that as a cue to move over. Rather polite for a sleeping person I would guess.


Whatever happened to your heart recording 10,000 that you were hooked up to? Are the scientists still conducting secret lab analysis from the embedded microchips? There is a certain dream theatre theme walking its way they this night time text time ...


I have been wreckless the last number of days ... Ate fries on Friday, and was proud of it , plus a 1/2 piece of the bottom piece of a bun from a chicken burger (I met my friend at BROWNS... Which was ironic because I was supposed to meet Tracy on Wednesday at Browns .. And I had never been there .. Then ended up going on Friday with a different friend .. Mind you it was a different one... .. Consumed bread twice on Saturday .. And then sliced THE TOPS off a cinnamon bun on Saturday and then Sunday ate more bread (ok ... Was my mothers homemade lovely rye bread!) ... I stole graham wafer crumbs from the fridge ..( the min aka the fuss aka julianne ) was saving them to make a cheesecake crust with them .. SCREW THAT ... I ate them with some vanilla yogurt and mint chocolate chips!!! ... Not sure what has come over me .. I quite possibly think its the finality of death. Yes .. It's been ringing thru my head ... My buddy Ian was diagnosed on Jan 23 and died March 1st. He had given up sweets ... ( well he said he never met a cookie he never liked ..) and was working decreasing his weight ... So had lost 30 odd pounds when I last saw him in November .. Little did we know something far more sinister was at work .. Live for the moment sometimes I guess ...


Damn it .. Rod has infiltrated my side again ... I will use my light source to deflect his body ... Didnt work .. Damn it.



My foot is cranking out the waves of pain ... So I am sending fuck off signals back to it .. Quite possibly that is what is currently keeping me awake .. That and the sudden silence in the home... That can be deafening ... Straining to hear nothing that's there.



Because I was off on Saturday .. I went to Ian's memorial service (as a coordinator of a stroke group it's a given fact the eventuAlity of death .. And although I do not habit these events I did feel very compelled to go) .. So did my mom. She and Ian were connected by the very fact they are similar age .. And they both grew up in New West .. And his wife Shirley is very much like my mom ... At any rate the two things happened in my mind .. We had to sit up front (most horrifying walking past hundreds of close family and friends .. Of which none of them we knew .. And then having to watch the almost pugged face pianist brutalize "what a wonderful world " .. And then again spit out "a bridge over troubled water" .. It seems shallow minded that I quickly would choose to call someone pugged face .. Except for the fact that this person is the choir leader at the seniors centre, where their group meets after mine .. And she has quite an air about her ... So over the course of time .. I have come to realize she is like a streAm lined pug .. More like a pug and poodle mixture maybe upon some truer reflection .. Because I'm spoiled I asked graham to learn how to play a bridge over troubled water ... So I could erase my memory of the devoid emotion that went along with the mechanical puggly poodle in her hugely ugly twill suit version of the song. In all of this out of body experience .... I was fascinated by the food ... Ian had planned what was the food that he wanted .. So sandwiches were his thing.. And homemade cookies .. True to form I ate one in his honour .. Not sure if everybody their realized the significance ... Now this is where the people watching skills took over .... They hovered about the food .. It became all about the food .. Like it was a lunch out or something ... It reminded me of those Janet evanovich books where the character always talked about her grama going to people's funerals because it was a social event ... And it gave people a chance to eat out .. And then rave about the food until the next event .. I saw great humour in this the other day .. I am pleased to admit that hysterical forms if laughter did not erupt .. But it made me consider what my wishes would be .. Would there be sushi .. Because graham just told me it was such a NOT messy food to eat ... Oh shit .. That's right .. Him and I went out for sushi saturday evening ... I only wanted the tempura stuff .. Including a tempura'd roll as well ... Anyways .. I'm not really sure how it qualifies as not messy .. But we are talking graham here ... I think he likes the organizational structure on his plate or something ....





Yes back to ms puggly poodle face ... Her hideous garb is similar to the whole post war german style induced fashion .. All around bad ..





Well ... The decision comes now .. Do I copy and paste I to my blog ... Or press send ... Will you anticipate this arrival .. Or be burdened with another long winded highly almost non sensicle story that is stirred from the darkness ... ?





Who knows .. Morning is quickly approaching .. I will need to have a couple of snoring fits myself before I wish to rise .. This will balance out the pain waves that hinder my ability for my sleeping wishes to come true. I am definitely happy the criminal element of the dreams has started to depart from my visual memory .. Enough to know that common sense also comes with the light .. That said its now daylight savings time .. So daylight is still hours away .. Yes .. I see no separation from the trees to the night sky.





I suggested to graham AGAIN he go to law school. He should. He has an amazing brilliance (to some) for words (or sharing his world according to Graham) .. And leaving people in his wake .. Yes .. I should fear that petty thieves are all running amuck in the streets and making back doors creak in the middle of the night due to all the graham like lawyers out there ... the teacher made the mistake of asking graham for his cell phone the other day. NOBODY asks graham to take his phone. That would be similar to asking if they should cut off the oxygen connection to the space station. Alternatively he offered the teacher his shirt .. And then his shoes .. Again she declined ... And wanted his phone .. He said his phone wasnt up for grabs however the offer was on the table for the shirt and the shoes unless she could show him written documents that it was stated that teachers had the right to confiscate personal property that did not subject herself or fellow students to any form of threat or danger. She said he was being rude. He said he wasn't being rude, in fact he apologized for using his phone, and said he would be under three minutes, and in consideration to the fact that they were not actually being taught by the teacher but watching a movie which he has seen five times (which then he goes on to do a little synopsis of A Beautiful Mind )... He very discretely was using his phone for an urgent matter ( talking to me as i STRESSFULLY WAS TRYING TO BUY BRUNO MARS TICKETS!!! i dont know how those fricken scalpers do it!!) rather than standing up and interrupting the class by walking out... which by the sounds of things she wasnt going to take him up on his offer for his shirt ... Or his shoes, and since they couldn't come to an agreement as to which article she wanted .. He was asked to leave .. So he did .. To make matters laughable ... It's a psychology class. Shit ... I better send this ... Otherwise .... This will become your bedtime story ... Hmmm .. I've got the tireds ... I have to get up soon!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The above was a singular text .... sent ... started off late into the hours of the night .. in things that rattle thru the brain but must travel at slower speeds due to the incompetency of the keyboard typist !! Lord help my good friend who drifts thru reading it ... careful my steadfast readers ... this could be you !!

Welcome March

Your welcome.

In a biggie bigge baddie sort of way.

I welcomed January.

I welcomed February.

Now it's March's turn .. hopefully it will be happy with my welcoming thoughts.

Clearly January and February were a bust!

BLAH !!!

In things that keep me awake at night:

The BOYS from the band asked for their drummer to leave.

WTF.

5 cutie cute boys ... have it all going on ... making music .. creating music... playing music ... all in love with their craft ..... or not?

again .. WTF?

Do these boys realize what they have done .. ? Asking the drummer to part. And part he did .. just stood up and left .. no questions .. they shook hands, he wished them good luck .. and hoped to see them on top of the world some day.

So sad.

The drummer is an absolutely cutie .... a real girl pleaser he is so cute. Just marketing value alone these guys are all cute together ... and the drummer .. quite possibly could be the cutest. BUT the idiots don't realize that. Apparently he is very very hard to deal with in band practice .. which makes it hard to move forward when you are song writing and working to move the band forward.

IN SECRET... I am hoping that somehow between superson and the drummer something can be settled ... perhaps a mediator between them ... they are young .. and do not have much common sense .. and no manager.

That screams dumb dumb dumb on all levels.

In other things fantastical and beautiful ... well .. immediately my princess doll should come to mind for all you big and loyal readers ... she realized that she could really draw the other day. So she spent almost the whole weekend .. just drawing .. and finding pictures that she could draw. Actually .... it was a very nice weekend for her and I ... we went off to the mall and out for dinner Friday night ... then Saturday .. I don't remember much ... other than I was buy during the day,... and she went out with friends that night .. and then yesterday her and I ventured to a store where we could buy a night table and bedroom stuff ... and we did ... except we couldn't get the bed .. which she desperately wants to badly. Her current 130 year old bed frame will be used else where ... like in the garden ... wrought iron can handle that right?

I think I might love March ...it just brings so much hope and revival into our dreary world of grey that finds itself hovering this (most days) beautiful landscape of ours !

Soooooo long ...

Some days I kinda think that I should say so long to this magical little tour of duty on wit writing. Partially because the wit .. is witless. Damn .. can't have it all the time ...

Although .. times .. like NOW .... when ONE is on drugs that have their senses flying faster than that lousy planeride home a couple of weeks ago ... perhaps I should stay ... just a little wit longer .....

Please laugh .. CHEESUS ... that was funny.

IN other forms of operations and technicalities ...

I am on an evil drug SULFA ... so that it can kill some bugs that I have growing ... although .. the good dr of mine wished for me to take another drug ... like LYRICA ... to sooth the growing and vulcherously evil pain that was crawling through my foot and lower portion of my leg ... uhmmmmmmmmmm . OK. I agreed.

It's a good thing I agreed ... because then ... I wouldn't be able to float through life in a magical transluscent bubble ...  like I have been this past week ... wish I had this LAST week when I was dealing with the TELUS people ... wouldn't have scared my dog SHITLESS with all the hysterical hissing into the phone talking to the computerized bitch that she is ... meanwhile .. back at the ranch ...

I kid you not .. this shit is some delicious stuff ... I did warn my DOc about being sensitive to drugs ... and holy whamolies .. someones going to have to pry my hands off every single one of those tiny little pinky and white pills .. I mean why stop now .. holy frucksters. I only have thirty .. thirty pieces of gold I say ... that I ingest .. and then enjoy the rest.

GAWD. I kid you not .. I feel ike it's alcohol ... on that second glass of wine ... when you know you might have start to have a little too much ... and then that is where you remain ... right at the tipping point of happiness ... is this where this drug is supposed to leave you ... because I'm in .. hands down ..

EXCEPT ... I am not a good parker ... the girl is complaining of "boundaries MIN .. boundaries ... remember the bubble !!!!" ...she hysterically laughed in the car at me ... she said ... " so the DR thinks this is good for you ... why didn't she consult with the rest of the family ... the rest of the family could tell her something different !!!"

Eventually this shit has to wear off ... I have to take it every 12 hours ... but i wish to know .. how is it that I sleep at night ... how is it ... cause I am calm and sleeping in the deep dark of night ... ODDDDDDD !!!!!

And that would be me ... sorta super crazy ... in a big bad way ... but in a good way ... like I was texting in the rain walking into Costco .. my phone is getting wet .. I hate rain .. and yet I am smiling and texting like a soothing walk down at our local pier ...

Many things to write about .. so many things ... probably shouldn't I could go on for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever. Seriously.

Moving on .... to the dishes ... later followers of my world !

If one should wonder

what it's all for ... the simple answer ..

Is just....

BECAUSE.

One of the Jimmyson's bands songs is NEVER LOOK BACK.

I took their advice ... and so happy that I did.

I am glad to be back from the vacationing lands of the Mayan Riviera .. it was a lovely lovely time .. so glad to have gone .. and equally glad to be back ...

The girl and boy stayed up and waited for my return .. she baked a cake .. and we celebrated .. LIFE TOGETHER.

What a happy time ...

IT"S been over a week since my return .. and the week back here went faster than the five short days away .. although .. a great number of those hours including drinking many hundreds of fancy drinks of assorted shapes and colours.

I was a different woman their !! .. but here I am .. being the regular self of me .. going to the nursing health clinic ... and an endodontist appointment for the teeth that are about ready to fall out ... yup .. sort of terrifying and sad .. but there is so much more to be worried for than that .. so off I go ...

Got to catch a certain little fuzzy (LITTLE .. TRY GI-NORMOUS !!) lovely beastly fellow first ...

in the event of:

Excitement .. check that emotion at the door.

Trying to remain calm and approachable before my BIG little holiday !!

So far .. I have nothing packed .. except for a whack of clothing sitting in a spot in the closet. Now looking at the weather forecast I am going to include an umbrella in my travels and a light jacket ... you know .. for those LARGE stormy and rainy events that just happen to appear on the weather details.

GAWD. .. really .. I will dig out suntan lotion .. because that's a must .. but so help me .. if I don't get to use it .. that will be the largest comical event that will come to me this year .. even though this year has just started. NOTHING WILL APPEAR FUNNIER TO ME ... that for the first time in 23 years I am going to travel to a tropical location .. and the rain will follow. OMAGAWD .. to me .. nothing funnier than that.

I am very excited .. I am wishing to drink for breakfast .. oh yes seriously .. I am soooo wanting tooo !!! I just want to live like a crazy person the 5 short days that I am away .. !! Although .. I am not certain how well alcohol and Tylenol and antibiotics all mix ... and probably the Mayan Riviera is not the best place to find out .. and while I live in my little renovated homeland I don't mix the THREE at all .. so not sure why I am going all crazy like across the lands .. YOLO.

Traveling has become challenging .. if you don't remember one of your charger cables .. the whole vacation could be toast !! I need a charger for my camera battery, for my phone .. (not that I will be texting .. although this VI.BER thing is a cool app), & the KOBO ... all of this adds up to LIFE SUPPORT for the gadgety crowd.

Then I need my lenses and my monopod and my tri-pod and perhaps some additonal book reading about my camera .. and assorted details .. that I could possibly try while away ..

Of course because I live in a gadget induced state of mind I am looking to break free and bring an actual BOOK. The Jimmyson gave it to me for Christmas .. and I have not even touched it .. but that was purposeful ... I read 1 and 3/4 pages yesterday .. by accident .. and LOVED it ... so I hid that in my closet of things to pack. Cause I'm smart that way. Sort of.

In other things that I will pack .. 10 thousand pieces of dressing supplies that I might think I might need .. I don't have a clue .. currently I have this spongy piece of dressing that just sits across my foot .. that's all I have ... but given that I could potentially feel like I am the next astronaut to walk on the moon I will bring my plastic bag full of assorted things to put my mind at ease. Along with a full bottle of Tylenol.... because you know .. can't make it through the day .. or hours without that. STOOPID. But such is life .. at this time.

Then there is the whole clothing issue. Currently I am most happy in my polar fleece. I am always in a pleasant state of mind if I have my polar fleece attached to me. I am not sure how the Mayan Riviera and polar fleece will match .. but I think I am traveling with something polar fleece. Talk about needing a safety blanket. I have a range of assorted things to wear .. and NOT wear .. it's clearly fun to overpack !! .. as well .. I am thinking of bringing three pairs of shoes .. all of which I wear none of them at home. How does this make sense .. ? I just don't want to be without something .. that could maybe work for me .. once I get there ..

This week is the start of the new semester for the chicklets .. this will be interesting since the Jimmyson had all of his classes re-arranged ... without his knowing .. and now is left without having a semblence of good working order .. of course they start school on Thursday .. the days that I am gone .. not that they can't do it without me .. it's more the bomb of the Jimmyson's missing classes that are the real issue.

Inother things terrifyingly exciteable .. I have YET AGAIN applied for a new position. I am not thrilled with the position .. BUT .. the real exciting part is the fact that it is MONDAY - THURSDAY .. 0900 - 1530. I am looking to simplify my life .. really simplify .. as in GO to ONE location for a job .. rather than 3 locations. PLUS .. with this .. I could actually have a life again .... and make plans with people ... and do things on weekends like other regular folk .. and not worry about always having to be up at the crack of dawn every single weekend because I have to work. OH .. and spend OFF time with the family. My life raising these chicklets has been running them to all their assorted events and activities .. and even though we do/did spend a ton of time going places together .. now I can actually GO places .. I mean that GIRL of mind LOVES to go places .. she is adventure girl ... and I think now is the time that perhaps even more adventures should begin .. like taking a trip on the weekends somewhere ... JUST BECAUSE. That means that I have to give up other things in my life that are equally important .. but I don't have a choice .. well I do .. but in honesty reality .. I just want to be free from extra curricular thinking ... which I spend a great deal of my time doing .. while I am not running my Monday program .. which I never feel is enough .. so I am not sure how much is enough. I have run the program for 12 years .. I believe it is a good one .. I believe that I have done really good things over the past 12 years, and will be profoundly sad to have to leave .. but then that opens up an opportunity for someone to continue to build on what I have done .. I am replaceable. The Association that I work in partnership with just scares me financially .. they have really never been able to increase our funding for running the program, and yet have instituted guidelines and rules that just seem some days to just be stupid .. and .. for what .. for a position that is partially funded, and the other half volunteer .. hmmmmm  .. at any rate .. check that emotion at the door as well please ..

In things that are good .. the boys music video will be released tomorrow. Except that lots of people have had a chance to view it already .. so not sure how that works. I bought the girl a "guita-lele" .. half guitar .. half ukalele .. currently she is you tubing how it works . and the boy is just simply playing it. She is happy as a clam to start playing .. and singing .. good for my beautiful girl ..

Well ... I should press on .. I have drank coffee.. which I have really stopped drinking .. I haven't eaten .. which I believe I should .. since I am doing this whole anti-inflammatory diet thing .. not sure if it's working .. but potentially it has to .. not including the two steroid shots that I was given .. despite me knowing that they are virtual poison with someone with a chronic wound .. which the good DR completely whole heartily insisted it was in my best interest. So I let him jab me ... and then .. the bastard .. HE BROKE UP WITH ME! See .. they just want what they want .. and then they set you free .. (ok .. this is humour good reading audience .. ) He told me I never had to go back and see him .. ever. Alright then. When I went to see the Infectious Disease Dr. I told her about my break up incident.... and that despite feeling like a stalker woman .. I was OK with it .. after the initial shock .. and then without warning .. I announced to the Infectious Disease Dr .. that I was breaking up with her .. just so I could feel in control of who I wished to be with in my life. OK .. so yes .. she was a woman .. so the break up was much easier on me .. she just cracked up laughing .. and she doesn't laugh much. EVER. I am hoping that our time together is over .. fingers crossed over the end to this relationship ..

The boy played me a new song his band is working on the other night. OK .. so you know those bands that the second you hear the song .. you know who they are .. because the song is so good .. well .. this is the one. I kid you not.

In other things crazy: I finally sent away TWO of those fools CD's to a couple of the radio stations .. which the lead singer told me that they hadn't done. Uhhhmmm hello ... knock knock mr make-amazing-music .... wake up chuck .. how does one think that someone is going to find you .. ?? In other things with this crazy group of talented guys .. they have backed off on the playing in clubs .. it's not their thing .. (to get known) .. so they have applied for all kinds of spots with the local summer festivals and assorted events that happen all around this big town of ours .. and in other things that terrify me ... ouch .. some changes along the way coming up as well .. not sure if things are going to go well ... not sure at all ... this makes me nervous ..

Am going to send this computer away while I am away ... hopefully it will return a new beast .. but the lovely repair guy told me that I didn't have much chance at potentially making it happy .. but I will limp along using it for as long as I can ... cause we are also limping along with a currently still usable washer .. which I think might trump the computer buying for me .. especially since we have another 2 available laptops in the homeland .. that are not mine .. but I have access to.

OH .. and in things that are wild .. I was talking with tomorrow. So cool .. the Jimmyson was Face.Timing with his lovely and beautiful girlfriend that is currently being a nanny in Australia .. who lives in the land of tomorrow..... so I got to chat with her .. I just love her so much ... she is just the greatest for the Jimmyson .. and he happily sat on his bed .. with the Fuss's guitar thingy thing .. and strummed and talked away with her ... I wonder why I am addicted to my gadgets .. !!

Considering that I have done nothing for my group today .. I best get moving .. well .. that's a lie .. I have done stuff .. all the organizing and happened last week .. today .. I am currently in holidaying mode .. I just am .. after today .. I do not work again until the 8th of February ... and then .. I only work for 3 days ... because that newly invented stat happens on the 11th .. FAMILY DAY !!

check that emotion: Love ... love ... love ... seize the day folks !! ..

we get what we wish for

The boy only wanted COLD HARD CASH for his birthday. That was it. Simple, cut to the chase cash. And nothing more. That was until ... he virtually got nothing. No gift, no wrap, only a card with some scratch and wins, which produced a reaction that this mother couldn't believe.

Profound sadness. The boy was sad and dejected, and completely disgruntled with his decision of only cash, all the time.

In the last number of months there has been this saying floating out of his mouth .. with quite a humourous effect, when things didn't go his way, which in his mind .. is/was quite often .. he would spout "Worst birthday ever !!" .. and of which, it was never his birthday .. but we would laugh ... (in this case .. for those that know him ... can verify that the boy is funny .. most of the time .. ) .. at any rate .. he would use this saying amongst his friends .. which would stir a raw emotion of OH MA GAWD its your birthday, how'd I miss that on FB?? ... !

Which the boy would then claim it wasn't it birthday .. but if (whatever event) had happened .. wouldn't it make the worst birthday ever ??! Jimmy logic I say.

Well .. THE 5TH was his birthday .. and much to his surprise, not a gift to be had, despite his strong requests for CASH CASH and ONLY CASH.

Yes people, the WORST BIRTHDAY EVER.

Until yesterday ... when a beautiful image for his wall and an iphone 5 made it's way into his life.

Interesting how things manage to fix themselves .. because on his actual birthday ... I did feel quite bad for going along with his musings of no gifts .. however ... a day later ... my brilliance shone thru ... giving him what he has talked about for months ..

WORST BIRTHDAY EVER. and a gift !

And so the number 13 is upon us.

WELCOME back to the world of typing slash writing slash dithering along slash moving on.

A new year means a new number, a new set of circumstances, a new way of being. It has to be a new something. AT least that's my way of thinking. ... Including that I always believe January FIRST to be the FIRST day of spring in my books, despite the winter soltice just beginning December 21st. One can work at being very optimistic .. No? In reality the middle of our nation is in the thick of winter, where our winter is their spring. Hence my reasoning. Similar to my years back in college .. I was in my second year, albeit at the beginning ... and I believed that I only had two years left .. despite not even completing the second year .. at that moment in time. It's complete trickery!

In other thing that is full of twists and trickery ....

I thought I would be done this antibiotic regime .. LONG before now ... except here we are January 2 ... and I ONLY have another 9 days to go .. I can do another nine days .. I have done this since November 5th ... twice a day to the hospital until December 13th, then back and forth to the homehealth clinic, of course not to be outdone by the drs appts .. and now I have been living with my black bag strung around me 24 hours a day ... and it was only yesterday that I forgot to grab it when I went to go do something .. only because I didn't have it strapped on me .. which essentially I keep it strapped on me .. for the forgetful factor.

This isn't complaining .. this is story telling ... real live dumb dumb story telling. I wont mention the other idiotic things that have happened to me ... like adventures in coin eating .. or other stuff that explodes when you are not looking. Those would simply just be boring topics .. by now.

In things that are looking exciting:

I booked a trip to the Mayan Riviera .. not just me .. well.. just me essentially ... except it's for a wedding .. of a long time friend .. I am absolutely thrilled to go .. can't believe that I managed to do it, but I did ... my other friend made it even easier and less expensive for me when she decided to go along with me ... then my single (more expensive) occupancy become cheaper ... because now we are a twosome ... probably would have been nicer if the double occupancy would have been the husband .. but come on .. we can't have everything ! I didn't get the whole money thing .. nor did she .. when I said just to keep the money that she saved me .. for herself .. because I still wasn't paying a lot to go .. but she didn't want any part of that .. so my part became even cheaper .. and maybe ... somethings are a good thing ... I had to let it go.

I don't have a clue what to bring .. what to shop for .. what to wear ... I think I might even be as brave to go to a second hand store and see if I can find some long flowy skirts to wear ... I can't wear flip flops, and I can't wear sandles, and I can't go barefoot, and I can't expose my foot to sand, pools, or any other foreign object that could find it's way in .. so it seems I will be wearing my favourite runners .. and you what .. if that is what it is .. then I have to let that one go to .. perhaps I will purchase new socks to go with the runners that I will be wearing by the poolside ...

I better get on thinking about that sort of crap .. I just looked at my calendar from December and wondered where the time went .. because holy crap .. it disappeared beyond the speed of light .. BUT .. I have a passport, my cameras .. and a plane ticket .. everything else is just extra ... I might bring my credit card ! OH .. and I totally am stoked to bring my KOBO.GLO .. oh yes I am ... while feeling completely less than optimal .. all I did yesterday was stay warm, and read. ... I didn't opt for doing much more than that ... I am on a mission to heal this foot ... intensly .. and if I don't have to be out running around doing all the crap that one has to do in a day .. then I wont be... sort of .. I do need to take some popcans back today .. as there seems to be a rather large bag taking up the sink space in my laundry room.

That brings me back to our little house .. it is very beautiful and cute .. with an amazing amount of storage .. given the big 1365 square feet of it .. however ... things like a bag full of refundable containers really have no where to go in our homestead. I have no area outside where it is sheltered from the weather, except for the garage .. and that is a whole frigging lot of work to try and get into .. given the fact that I can not seem to open the garage door without an exra 39 minutes on my hand to fiddle with the lock. Seems odd .. but it's the truth .. the husbandmand just says to me .. what's the problem .. and I say to him .. try living the way I live for 5 seconds .. and you will know why I can't unlock the FU%KING GARAGE DOOR. Some people live like cats ... always land on their feet despite unfortunate events that make them fall .. I am not a cat ... and if something completely fuc%king stupid comes my way, or stop me from doing something .. or happen to me .. it's because I am so not cat like. The husbandman is a cat. In fact we were just speaking of cats last night ... and still agree that we absolutely do not ever never ever want a cat. I could only imagine how much WOULD NOT GET DONE if my husbandman was not a cat ... sounds odd, probably is .. but it is the way it is ...

In other things ... we do have our little dog .. who isn't little .. but is bossy .. because we got him that way .. currently he is (had to check here) sleeping in his beddy. I thought he was on the couch .. because if he is to go silent .. he more than likely is on that couch. He's a good guy .. and my fears that he wouldn't have longish hair have been all but cured .. I am now so not happy with the insane amount of sock fur that I have accumulate ... ick ick ick ick !

Onto other things ... am leaving the decorations up .. since the boxes are in the shed out back .. and we will have to work around a current cone headed dog that loves to be a part of everything that's going on ... so everything stays put until the boxes can be safely retrieved and filled without any fuss from the furryone. It's like asking your guests to whisper when your baby is asleep. ( I never did that ... !!! NEVER!) ... Anyways .. tip toeing around a dog is a way steeper version of idiocy ..

I have managed to set up my KOBO>GLO and install books from the library.... it took a bit of work, and the realization that the miss fusspots cute little computer didn't like the download situation .. and I had to move onto the husbandmans computer to get my tiny book thing sparked into action ... and so I have .. now I just need to figure out how to get books off of it ... and how library books get them selves removed .. not sure how that happens either ...  somehow I think they just disappear. Actually ... given that thought .. I will go GOOGLE now .. yup .. it's just magic apparently .. even the KOBO blog people writer says it disappears ... yae ... just like my memory ... I really do believe in this magic shit !

AND ... as far as me writing this .. well .. good on me for doing so .. life in the fast lane has kept me from changing lanes at all ... I'm kinda hoping that the slow lane has an entry point ... or even an exit to a REST STATION .. in the near future ... I'm hoping that January 11 will not take that long to get to ... I'm pretty certain it wont .. it seems like just yesterday the year 2000 was here .. and we've managed to make it to number 13 now ... how did that happen?

And moving forward into the great number 13 .... should be exciting ...