Beware of the evil eyebrows.

Some things happened yesterday.. none of which were tramatic, exciting or suspense-filled. It was of course a note-worthy day, of sorts. Here are the things that I learned:

1. When you take your children to Tim Horton's because you have ran out of coffee in the house and prewarned them that they would be going there in the morning... for a bit of coffee festivities... (great coffee to some, crap to other's, but to each their own...)... anyways, do not expect to fill the girl child up, and make her be happy on a honey crueller ( kind of like a wagon wheel looking donut). I actually knew this already... I was just testing the waters.
2. Never attempt to just make a necklace at home out of items that you have purchased at the bead store. NEVER. The billlions and trillions of dollars spent at the bead store could be mistaken as jewelry for the walls of a kitchen... on the brink of renovation... it was that close. I talked the Pip down from her hysteria.... and we wrapped up the fancy beads and returned to the bead place... where I systematically used "the bead store" tools and fixed all the fancy beads for the Princess Pipster in waiting.....
3. Always buy more beads for "the boy cool" necklace that you will undertake at home... you never know when the format of the necklace will change.
4. While throwing together a lovely "cat necklace" for the Princess Pipster.. do not let the boy to attempt to buy a necklace for his girl-non-girl-friend tom boyish friend ALEX.. that took many hours to collect the right beads for a simple ALEX project. But of course... by this time, I had the almost tradgedy of the cat necklace still clear in my head, that we put the ALEX necklace together immediately. Success.
5. Do not attempt to buy deodorant at the beauty counter at London Drugs. This confuses me.. as you are of course allowed to buy fragrances at the beauty counter, but you are not allowed to buy something that has a chemical built in, so you are fragrance free.. doesn't make sense to me really.. Anyways, deodorant is not allowed.. apparantley.. and the manager at the beauty counter will tell you so... as I saw it happen to the girl across from me.. while I was innocentley buying millions of dollars of nail polish and lipstick. If you are stuck in this situation... to rid yourself of the offending object.. you must throw it across the counter so it slams on the floor... and then that lovely beauty counter manager quickly gets on the phone, as you proceed to head out of the front of the store... probably wishing that at this point in the day... that you already had deodorant on, and were trying to buy a broom instead. Ha!
6. So.... now that the coffee is circulating nicely through the system ... it is not wise to enter a store where they insist on playing music.. really loud. ... as I found out because I was YELLING at my children the other day... as I tried to shop... at a children's store. I first off said to one of the clerks... "Is it me.. or is this music really loud..?" Her response... "you'll get used to it". I shook my head and told her I wouldn't. After a little while of looking and dealing with the lady princess Pipster needing every single thing known to the little girl kingdom.. I had had enough...I wanted the Pip to try something on... and two people that worked there made the mistake of asking me if I needed help. YES!!! YES I NEED HELP!!. I started off... (oooops, not thinking.....)... I need a lot of help.. (the clerkish people were very confused looking at me....)... "I need help in not yelling at my kids... they are standing three feet away from me.. and I am yelling at them... can you here me... I AM YELLING!!!!!".... ( I could almost feel my eyebrows vibrating).... The clerk says... "are they irritating you?..."..."OK, clerkman, I am trying to be nice.. but this music is so freaking loud that I can't think straight.. and I know for certain that I have a Mastercard... that I am very willing to use.. but I wont be able to stay long enough to use it, if you can't turn the music down, that way I can stop yelling at my kids....!" I say.. almost kind of not really calmish. The lovely male gay clerk made me obliged my hysterical request.. I so liked him after that. And then PIP liked me... and so did the boy... although the boy got one thing compared to her 5. I swear I do like him.
7. I am not big on filling the chicklets with hamburgers...but on the occasion.. I will indulge... but holy smokes... A&W is way way way way way way too expensive... and it doesn't help when the Lady Pipster gets in on the act!
8. How many millions of emails should you send to a friend that is in the midst of delivering baby number three and four?? Can you send too many? My eyebrows have a quizical look to them now because of this thought.
9. The eyebrow evilness must remain at a dull roar when the neighbours comment as to the whereabouts of the husbandman.... "OH, that evil bastardly husbandman of mine.. is that the one you are asking about...? Poor Mr. Ed... he almost wet his workboots when I came out with that response. I took it down a notch... "I believe he is hanging out with his friends that do not have children to come home to... although Mr. Husbandman will require a stern talking to when he does eventually find his way home.. although it has nothing to do with me, or the chicklets.. and everything to do with the fine furry Ellpee that runs around endlessly and panics for a great number of hours until he is at home safe and sound". Believe me, he got an earful... about my having to deal with little miss hysteria.. .and this time it was not to do with a princes in waiting.... but rather a furry princess waiting.
10. I'll round it out at number ten... it seems a good number to put your eyebrows to rest.. for a while....the girl on the other end of the phone got the silent eyebrow treatment the other day. I tried to remain calm...and I did remain calm. I was trying to book an ultrasound ... and the lovely young girl said to me... oh, I can only accomodate you at the end of July. "Oh, so, nothing else then I guess?" "No" she bubbled. Oh, we are going to be away ... ***strike me down now.. I will be no where!!!***. All of a sudden... she found a cancellation appointment for next week.... what luck I say, what luck! Thank you kindly young girl..., and with that thought, the eyebrows now will take a rest...