Matrimony 101

So I think the secret to successful marriage some days is just go and do what you please, whenever you please.

Since there are no real rules in life in regards to making relationships work .. other than being kind, and responsible, and treating each other wish respect ..... there are other times that one sees fit in just moving on.

I live one way, he lives another.

That is what I have determined.

Where I would actually derive the pleasure of his company, it seems that his agenda is full of his agenda, and there isn't any bending it.

Alright fine. I'm good with that.

So I went out the other night ... it was supposed to be WITH him, but given that he had forgotten, he wasn't prepared, hadn't taken the dog for a walk, needed to shower, was sitting on the couch after an exhausting week at work, the whole while dealing with a cold .... it might be forgivable that he didn't want to go out. Once you add up that scenario .. who would.

So I spelled it out to him that it was quite fine that he didn't want to go ... or that ... he did want to go, but later ... way later ... after he had done all his things. So we are not in sync with one another more than anything ... by the time he was ready to go, was the exact same time that I was prepared to come home.

It's that simple, we have two completely different clocks, and learning (and relearning) to make them work .. is work.

I wonder .... does anybody make it out of  the Matrimony 101 stage of wedded bliss?  

This book, that you CAN'T see!

We are talkin some serious ......

fruit salad !!

First off:



I read this book ... OK .. uhm. Wow. Yikes. Scaryville.



I probably would not do the best for a book review person. Since this is not something that I wish to read about on a regular basis ... I found it excruciatingly good, and yet awful at the same time. I can't stand reading books where woman are hurt or beaten or abused, even if it was the truth ... I do not wish to read about it.

Although ... in other things that are on the upswing:

Lot's of stuff !!

I got the girl her driving lessons! CRAZYVILLE yes, I know.

I managed to book a massage therapy appointment, even if it may not be with a person that I wish to stay with for a while, it's a first step in moving forward. Again, CRAZYVILLE, I have never been to a massage therapist before. I am looking for a specific type of one ... so who knows ....

I managed to make it through a quick trip to Costco yesterday. EXCITING TIMES FOLKS. One would think slugging it through the place is a work of pure chore-dom, and while it is/was ... it was HUGE in my world. Of course without fail ... the cashiers had to pause to count their freaking cash. OF COURSE ... as my minutes were dwindling standing on my foot by the second ... people that were 4 people deep cruised past me in the other line ups. I FUCKING HATE Costco for that reason. I guess I would be far more tolerant if this DOUBLE BEE-otch was a little more patient .. no wait .. make that COMFORTABLE while STANDING.

All the same ... I went someplace today that was ever so brave and again ... CRAZYVILLE. I went to a fitness center. YES. I. DID. I even went inside, and made them show me around ... I even touched a piece of equipment. As in rested my finger on a piece of equipment. So here's the situation you see: it's difficult when you live just 5 minutes away from your community recreation center ...  and yet, I find the price of attending the center EXPENSIVE. The gym/fitness center that I wish to attend is a 19 minute drive, past the mall (read TRAFFIC), and it just seems so FAR away, even though it isn't. It is WAY cheaper than trying to attend the local rec center .. and one can go as many times as you would like for FIFTEEN dollars a month. Seems worthwhile to me. My plan is to HIRE a personal trainer to START, and give me a work out plan .... and then meet up with this personal trainer down the road. I do not need an attendee by my side every time I wish to go ... I however wish for someone to give me a work out with the weights and such since my cardio time is limited due to the very reason I have to attend the gym in the first place. Treadmills, ellipticals, regular bikes, racing bikes are all out of the question for the time being, as are any types of classes where standing takes place, or where you have to work in a circuit. BUT .... in an effort to increase the metabolism I want to start doing some weight lifting ... so that will make a nice difference I am sure !!


I went to see the good Dr Rheumatologist the other day .... sigh. I knew he couldn't do anything for me ... but all I was there to see him for was advice. AND .. you can't call these speciality guys up and say ... "Hey Jim .... I have a question ..." so hence .... making an appointment .. and off one goes ... The question I was asking him about wasn't an easy one ... so again .. a bit difficult ...  So he says to me ... "OK wow ... so that was cancer ... wow ... " ... He claimed by the last time he had seen me that because the way it had failed numerous times to heal, that he finally had suspicions of cancer. Although he then said to me ... this is the way vascular ulcers present themselves ... so not only he didn't detect it, nor did the 5 other dermatologists, which he found incredible ... and yet claimed at how difficult this was to treat since the other people had no question marks swirling in their notes either that it was in a bad way. OK ... just for the record ... I could have SCREAMED to anyone and everyone I was in a bad way. He asked me where the graft was ... I told him the whole top portion of my foot.

So then I started thinking ... hmmmm ..... my GP said to me weeks ago that as GP's they don't see this in regular everyday practice ... and then the other day when the DR. Rheum said the same thing ... I thought NOR does he ... and then yesterday I had to buzz in for a prescription refill ... and the non GP woman that I have had to start seeing asked to see the foot, because she was the last to see it before the surgery ... so she to was fascinated ..... alrighty then .... the NICE NICE NICE part is .... this little graft is slowly disappearing into my tissues ... so how freaking ultra crazy cool is that .... this big huge oval looking entity is slowly melting away .. if that is such a thing.

It is a thing. And it is exciting. To be MOVING on. Sort of.

MY ankle has a big hole in it, or at least a hole that is now getting bigger. The Dr. Rheum suggested that perhaps we should start this biopsy business all over again.  Of course he asked why they didn't biopsy it at surgery. I asked him why did he ask me questions that make sense. It seemed obvious to me .. and yet ... it wasn't obvious to all those that do this sort of thing.

GAWD.

I managed to go over to the car wash today .... and wash up the car. Gotta laugh .... one can not just stand leaning on the car when the timer is ticking as the suds pass through the hose !! It was a bit of a chore ... but I struggled through it ! Again, I was very excited to move on doing boring daily chores!! 

OK .. so in SAD SAD SAD SAD news .... only a couple more episodes of my Mr. Patrick Jane. I so love his character that he portrays. One can not simply find that amount of humour, and that amount of drama. ... although I have to admit ... I have been fortunate in finding Columbo re-runs, which totally makes me laugh at the Patrick Jane similarity ... except ... sorry Peter, SIMON is HOT!

AND in news that I am excited for .. I bought a new blow dryer yesterday ... so I am hoping that my wild and crazy mop of straw disguised as hair will have some control back in it's form again ! 

So there it is .... not much going on with the crazy boy ... but rest assured he is crazy .... with his band, and his working, and his hair growing ... the same with the husband and his welder and his jeep rebuilding .. holy crab storms .. the furry boy is of course crazy ... and then so is crazy girl ... she is crazy too ... in a very cute and lovely way sort of crazy.... all this coming from QUEEN CRAZY ...  this is currently where I am in love with fruit salad. Every day. Good Gawd.

Frantically frantic.

I think.

I might be.

I am very much needing to make up for lost time.

I have lost a lot of time.

HUGE-a-MONGO amounts of time.

Unfathomable.

Like I have made my out of the longest Survivor maze ever. 

Forever present in the moment, and the beauty of the surroundings, but enveloped to the point of being strangled.

So now I am feeling frantic.

Edgy.

In need of ... something.

Like I need to get going, get moving, get living again.

Fortunately .. the weather is a bit nasty ... so that is keeping me locked up, and out of trouble.

Somewhat.

Plus, I just realized tonight that the boy had borrowed my camera .. a great long while ago, and even that isn't at my disposal. OUCH. 

I have taken up scrolling through Pinterest. Rhymes with interest, for great reason.

The passions of all the whackadoodle creativity is slowly coming alive, and I find myself longing for some magic to begin to unfold!!

But first I need a darning needle .. to finish the boys toque. MUST. FINISH. THE. TOQUE.

It's comedy actually that this project has been dithering about ... since November. All of the winter months .. where the boy essentially wears a toque everywhere he goes ... kind of like it's going to be the grand unveiling of his LONG hair. Comedic. 

In things that are greatly comedic:

I had the great opportunity to witness the GIRLIE girl sit and teach herself a lovely STAY WITH ME song, and the boy toodle about on the ukulele. Talk about changing tides!

I fisnihed these two books ...

One was TOTALLY CUTE, and made me laugh, laugh and laugh. It was not a book that an adult would read, but rather a younger kid .. I DON'T CARE .... it was as cute as the sweetest kitten picture ever posted on Facebok could ever be ... 

The OTHER book was abysmall ... deeply disturbing in a horrid motherly way .... very well written, but just so sadly disturbing ... I should have really read what the title was telling me ... 

So now .. moving onto my next book .. in keeping with the bluster of activity in the news of late .. I have To Kill a Mockingbird in my grasp!!

AND then .. when I get bored .. its back to Pinterest I go to continue gathering great ideas for my gardening adventures !!

Silence amongst us.

The ever so beautiful and amazing young lady of a daughter had her wisdom removed from that beautiful head of hers on Friday. She is just such a rock star, in a huge amount of ways. In her delirious perfectly good but high state, she texted her friends afterwords. Stating she was fine, no big deal. What a girl of epic porportions .... calm and steady .... with a small sentiment that she was ever so slightly nervous, as she had right to be.

So now that she has had her teeth sent to wisdom heaven, she has had to be only slightly quieter this past weekend. That's alright she has all her gadget that she needs surrounding her ..which is perfect in keeping one silent. Well, that and pain drugs ... do the trick.

In feats that will leave the readership astounded into even more silence would be the fact that I was actually able to make some jello for her. Sounds incredulous .. .seriously .. a feat such as boiling water, and stirring a powdery substance. Surely to gawd I am exagerating ... NOPE. That is how far I have fallen my loyals readerships. One would begin to guess and assume that surely to good gawdliness that I tell the lies of highest of mountains ... but no, the sad quiet detail of my life ..... that I have spent living it from the bed to a chair, and if I were to be out, it was always on tortuous borrowed time. ....  However ...  gasps that will truly shock ... I, in the same kitchen experience was able to boil up some macaroni noodles, and grate cheese, and offer up that as an offering off a soft and yet filling dinner for her. In regular joe times ... who would even speak of such ridiculouness ... boiling water, dumping noodles, grating cheese, and presenting that is a feat the same as discovering North America porportions ... YUP. After that amount of insane standing, and manuevering the little foot/leg recovered .. a number of hours later ... the truly nice part of all of this jaw dropping silence .. is the mere fact I was actually able to do it, ... and clean up after .... something that has been so absent from my life, for so many months. Long months.

In other things of great silence ... there is still an err of unease that exists inside this body beyond the 1 percent of badlike things that still resemble the horrid cancer bullshit. I have a whole arm / underarm thing where the poor arms are just swollen feeling and hard. I used the similar describing words as a great sale going on at Target, where the doors are pulsating and bulging from the people pushing on them .. with every added desperate shopper the doors bulge a little more ... I'm not a Target fan .. but my friend is .. she appreciated my humour ... as her beloved Target is going to close down ... and I sorta laughed at that ! And that is still the silence that I am living with ... hoping that all will settle itself down without a devious undermining developing.

I went to see the very nice surgeon last week. He agreed in acknowledgement that I was not comfortable knowlingly letting 1 percent still remain, and hoping that the inflammation alone would kill things off, I said I wasn't comfortable waiting for that eventuality to unfold.. The sugeon nodded, and did agree .. then said he would send me to a radiation oncologist. OK .. well ... that's alright except the three options of which none I was content with have now become one. A surgeon that wishes to NOT do surgery. Interesting. From what I know .... is that surgeons LOVE to do surgery. That's why they are surgeons, they don't really want the messy life components .. they want to cut, chop and refurbish. Now he is handing me off ... to see if a little zap will do me .. even though the surgeon said that even a little zap will melt my newly acquired graft. As pure life comedy would have it ... the best looking part of the graft is where the itty bitty 1 percent remains.

In other things of silence is the Jimstonson. He's silent, but not. He came forward with the plans from the crazy band. Holy not-silenceville-whatsoever .... they will be gone for three weeks, of which they will be playing twice a day ... well rock and roll charlie .... that's a good thing. The Elton John influence has truly come to show in his playing ... I will never forget the night that him and I got to go ... I was in horrific pain ... but yet .... what an impact it had on him. A silent smile creeps across my face on that one!

So in keeping with enjoying my chickalots ... a lot ... I had kept some tissue paper hearts from the Micheal Buble concert that the girl and I went to ... we had an awesome time .. her and I .... what a moment in time ... so all these pink and red hearts floated from the ceiling at the end of the show .. I of course picked up a couple of them, and safely put them in my phone case ... and I enjoy knowing they are there, as they always remind me of what a great time the girl and I had enjoying that good fellow Micheal ... ! So the other day I had a great idea to clean out the tub ... and swoosh like no tomorrow my iphone fell in the tub ... phone ended up dead, the tissue hearts water logged and destroyed ... so what did I end up doing ... i ploughed my phone into a rice bag, and then in an attempt to revive the hearts, I dumped rice on them ... well bless my soul ... I have a phone revival as well as tissue heart retrieval ... how awesome is that !

And now ... with both the chick a lots home ... I will inquire as to what is maintaining their silence .. amongst us.

Pinch pinch - pinch an inch

As time and calories have built up, so have the inches. Not an uncommon entity when it comes to being unable to move much, if at all.

So I go to the surgeon today ..... I fail to ask a thousand and three questions, oh wait ... or really any questions at all.

You know .. the small details in life ...

When can I really start back at standing and walking again?

I can't wait for the pain to wear off, because that could be an eternity.

So, I'm using Bactigras, and from what I have learned from having a graft is that they start to dry out. OK, so when do I start moisturizing? ... not sure how you moisturize around weeping spots ... but that is saved for a day when prettier conversation prevails.

I didn't bother to ask about numbness, or the fact that there is complete numbness. That should maybe return in ..... how about never amount of time.

The real trickster portion of the day is the very fact that I can not walk on it with out a runner; however, I am supposed to leave it open to air, which is all fine except when I go to walk ... So I have to protect it ... while being in a shoe ... which means it's all wrapped up. It's a make work project really ... then when I am done ... I unwrap it again ... so gawd help me if all the gadgets of life are not at my disposal ...  or I forget to switch the load of laundry !

Now in the meantime ... I am looking at ways I can get back to doing something that has a little cardiovascular component, as well as a little bit of a stretching exercise ... to be moveable again .... I think there is an app for that !

In the meantime ... I am not seemingly dissatisfied with the inches that I can now pinches .... after the endless hours of non stop walking and running .... that's OK ... I will make it back .... 

I am graft worthy!!

The graft seems to be happy.  Look at me doing things right.

For a change.

Finally.

Except not completely.

There is no tissue left on one of the tendons. Tendons don't bond to grafts. Time will tell as to what it decides to do.

Then there is the little issue of ... somehow they managed to remove the whole 99% of this cancerous mess.

What about the remaining ONE PERCENT?

So ONE PERCENT of remaining cancer, is still cancer.

That's how that story goes.

The steps to what is next, is TIME.

TIME is what I need to be on my side before "they" proceed to removing the remaining ONE PERCENT.

This means that the Dr. is handing out options as to which the team of "people" whoever "they" are will make decisions as to which way to proceed ...whethers is another sugery, or whether they radiate the area. The surgeon said surgery would be tricky ... not sure how that is the case ... from what I see I have been through the biggest trickfest of my life. The next equally unfavoured option is to radiate the area ... to which the surgeon said it would melt away the prervious graft.

Yowsers. Grand options.

The hilarity of today was removing the staples. Ya, not recommended on skin that is super hard. I think I lost 15 pounds in sweat that poured from me as the staples were plucked out. So, for all you ninny cats out there ... staples are not THAT painful .... I have had to have them twice before ... and what do they feel like ... a little tug ... a swift little tug .. not so bad ... not so bad . when the skin actually gives way to the swift little tug .... but when the skin has no give, at all ... it's like pulling nails out of a piece of wood. THAT's the TRUTH you NINNY CATS!

But I'm alive. And I have a feeling I'm so not a NINNY CAT.


In things are way moe hilarious in this worldy life ....

SO we have the now LONG since graduated son ... coming up two years worthy of graduation from HIGH school .. and then we move on to the ever so beautifulest girlie girt in the world ... The Min Min!! Her graduation is slowly setting upon us .  So like the boy ... I also got a grad photo of them ... except not dressed in grad garb, but just a nice photo of their last year in high school ... the boy has a respectible 9x12 photo ... set in an 12 x 14 frame. It's all respectable and within not overly screaming in your face PHOTOGRAPHS ... and then along comes The Min Min ... somehow I managed to purchase a TRUE to LIFE 16 x 20 portrait of her ... HILARIOUS ... the bigger than life girlie girl happily smiling along side of the suave looking handsome gentlemen brother ... TOO FUNNY !!

Welcome to the scary world

So my job currently is just sitting here ... ever so still ... not moving this foot really one iota!!

I did some googled up reading on grafts ... and the one thing that I read about them .. is the fact that they are not supposed to move .. at all ... so being that this rather large graft is sitting on the top of my foot .. and I am still walking on this foot .. well, semi walking .. I am semi sorta scared crapless that this graft is not going to take .. and just peel off when I show up in the surgeons office on Tuesday. So I am doing almost everything in my power to keep this foot busily grafting until then.

I think tomorrow I MIGHT go sit in the livingroom ... for a bit ... I will see how my leg likes the semi elevation ... it might not .. and I will find myself just sitting atop this bed ... I am better off here anyways ... I have all my super gadgets and pieces of equipment .. and really .. at this time of year, the weather outdoors doesn't look so drastically different !

So yes ... scary google graft reading ... probably better that I did .. since I didn't really have any true discharge instructions .. other than the very basic .. "my job was to keep my foot up". Not much to go on, and really it's the implications of what happens if you don't do it according to plan ...

Go me ... 

Thank. Freaking. Gawd.

Another Friday ... but the first of the 2015 story.

Probably couldn't have lived another lifetime of the past number of weeks over again. Unbelievable!

Now ... 4 days post surgery ... although I can not walk on my foot ... I feel hugely better.

The Good Lord was working for me the other day when the surgeon refused to do the surgery after the pathologist didn't show up ... we needed a pathologist this day ... very much so ... so it has all ended favourably ... now will just wait the final pathology .. and then hope for the best that this beastly disease didn't migrate while everybody was busy holidaying and being jovial (I wasn't included in the jovial part!)

I will admit ... the time spent living for most of December was pretty despicable .. and the first couple of days into January was moving still in that direction .. but now ... I'm off and running!

OK NOT.

But,

NOW .. is when I get to start getting better.
NOW .. is when I get to start getting excited.
NOW ...is when I get to start planning for better things to happen.
NOW .. is when I get to feel that I am finally out of the woods.

This endless story has just gone on too long, It almost seems impossible to believe that this has been so long and drawn out .. to the point of stupid.

Well ... moving forward then ... I can focus on all the adventures that I can now take! So it's exciting to sit back and fathom the possibilities.

Finally.

Tired.

Yup, I'm tired.

I'm tired of waiting .... for the holidays to be over.

They haven't even started.

If the holidays were not just around the corner ... I would have been slated to be fixed a whole shit ton faster ... but we have to wait for the festive indulgent event to quiet itself, and for life to return to normal before my life can return to normal.

So yes ... I'm tired of waiting.

In the meantime ... I can move even less, stand even less, sit even less, have patience even less, be empathetic even less, be helpful even less. Not the ideal time of year to be this useless. OH wait ... I was this useless last year.

I am certain that NEXT year life will be different ... maybe a HOLIDAY away would be a perfect way to celebrate ! Ha ... that's wishful thinking .. the Sir would not leave his turkey cooking and pie building for a second longer .... !!

So for now ... I will carry on with being tired ... and being thankful that this cancer business will be fixed up in the very beginning of the new year ... it leaves lots of time for a new improved version of me now for the rest of the year ... 

Blessed Be Me - I say to Thee!!

So away I went to the lispful surgeon the other day.

I brought the sister with me ... because the last two times I had seen this fellow I wondered to myself if I just didn't follow along clearly enough ... and I was just a dog gone bone filled idiot ... and didn't get the info right.

Well ... it appears that the sister and I are both dog gone bone filled idiots ... because we left the surgeons office yesterday both rather semi confused.... but not really.

I have a list of circumstances that will change as the surgery unfolds ... all of which I know nothing of what will happen until I wake up .... go me!!

I have to say ... I am overjoyed to the ultimate - that this horrific business happening to my foot .. is just that ... only the skin ... not the bones, blood or lymph .... except that the lispful surgeon doesnt know to what extent the skin is involved ... so it's tricky ... but what isnt tricky is all the other stuff. That makes life so much easier. .... if not much more politer.

Yup ... feeling blessed to the max ... if shit had to happen ... then this is the type of shit that I am good with ....

Minus three

I have three things I am going to do today.

VOTE.
Go to the craft store.
And go see some eagles.

It is a beautiful day already .. and cold ... of course it's not really that cold compared to some spots .. but it is too cold for me ... I think thought that I will bring my Oompa pants with me .. that will block some of the cold somehow. Good thought.

In other things way more less straight forward:

Six months of waiting , Five Dermatologists, Four biopsies later ... these people did arrive at a diagnosis. I was sitting at a 80-90% chance of this being positive ... the last 10% was revealed yesterday ... so my hold out of hope was dashed. I have to say ... I was respectfully holding out hope, however with the other number looming in the foreground I knew which road I would be walking

So now onto surgery. Ya ... I don't think I will be waiting three, two or one month for that to happen.

That's up to ONE plastic surgeon.

Oh brother.

Speaking of brothers:

He's always on Big Bruver's Bed, and always on Big Bruver's side ... and we call him Kevy ... a secondary nickname to BO BO, with the first name relation being Angus.

It's a good evening.. oming

So another day has come and gone, and the telephone sits silent.

I would really love to know how it's possible for time to slip past so quietly, and yet so slowly.

I have very much decided that I really dislike the days leading up to Remembrance Day. This isn't just a thought from last week .... this has been something rolling along for a great many years. Although, this year has prooved to be entirely different. The days have whipped past, while slowly sneaking away. I am bored out of my tree milling about ...doing little tasks of life .. in very small doses, as I can't really manage to do a lot at one time.

I do stack two or three, and four or five details of the day into one grand event ... and then must pause, well stop completely and sit with the foot up, as it actually is agonizing otherwise. For the most part I am doing much better ... way much  better ... at least I do not have the agonizing leg pain that has plagued me for numerous months ... now if I stand on my leg ... I can just feel it start to get sorer and sorer and sorer ... but once I get off of it .... it settles down again ... but of course that leaves you with not being able to do much.  I will say I very much envy being able to walk out my front door, and just go running or walking or which I once upon a time desired.  Now I still have the desire .. although I do not have the cooperation....

I'm kinda bored about this whole biopsy business. I will openly say that I do not think that people are in a big hurry to arrive at a diagnosis very quickly .. it was the middle of August when the quirky dermatologist told me I needed a biopsy NOW, like two months ago yesterday sort of NOW .. and here we are ... the middle of November, and I am still plunking along waiting to hear again about a foot that has never wished to cooperate on any road it has traveled. Mind you .. I do have good runners ... and they match my cloured vests ... so you now ... at least we have good colour and comfort going on for me!

It's Eagle Season ... and I am going to go and find some eagle shots ... I managed to completely somehow miss salmon spawning season .. and that just happened up the road, and I managed to miss it. I went driving up their yeserday and was withered by the realization that I had missed it. Well .. I kind of wondered where I had been ... because I really am a professional at going NOWHERE !!

I believe for the most part that the bears have hightailed it back into the woods to find their winteryly slumbering spots. I haven't pulled out all my summer flowers yet, and just pulled out my dahlia bulbs yesterday and stored them away for safe keeping. I haven't cleaned up a bunch of my pots, and the hostas are slowly melting into the earth .. but that's ok ... they are kinda slimy now anyways. I have to admit ... Fushias are a pretty hardy little flowering plant ... they are still blooming ..

I even got the handsome son to earn his keep and pick up a bunch of branches that The Sir ad raked into a pile after our massive windstorm yesterday. Crazy towns ... it was nice to see the leaves blow off our front yard tree down the street ... it was ever so convenient!

Well, as with everything ... I am bored. Bored of everything. Currently all I am listening to is "FIRE!! ... "Fire!" ... The boyson is busily playing some game with pirates ... on the xbox one .... lucky guy ... being that interested in playing a game for that many gazillion of hours !!

Will be back .... when I have eagle pictures to splash amongst the flat confines of this space.

At some point you are a professional!

So LAST time I said to those Doctory types .. NO MORE BIOPSIES for ME !! Of course that was me concluding that THAT time was the last time, because surely to gawd the Pathologists would find whatever it is they were looking for with their microscopes and analyzers, and eyebulbs that probe for scary things and the like.

Today .. biopsy number 6 sample was taken. This one is the end of the road. For certain. The Plastic Surgeon even said it was the last biopsy sample he was going to take ... he's only taken two ... but I guess when you are the surgeon .. it get's a bit embarressing to be asked to RE-DO your work ... because after all ... aren't plastic surgeons the end of the road in that department?

So now ... I will sit and wait .. and heal this foot AGAIN ... although the answer has already been determined ... more or less ... well, more than less actually ... sighhhhhhhh.

Now that I am a professional at having biopsies taken out of the same spot on a very already sore little foot ... off I went to the Monday Group. Ya, I couldn't really walk at the end the session ... although ... I think it might have had more to do with the horrible tape that was stuck to my already very sore little foot, more than the actual sore foot itself.

GAWD damn it PATRICE!! who asked for the tape anyways...!!

I said to the fellow .. ya, that is not going to work ... but they put it on anyways ... because they didn't want to use the expensive bandage ... although I should have said ... Let's use that one ... why would that guy know that ... ? I will tell him in two weeks when I see him again....

So the BO BO boy has a sore paw too, he will be going to see the doggy fixer uper once the Sir get's home. Poor BO BO ....

Of course then we have the girl ... holy crap ... now .. she quietly says to me this morning ... do I need to go to school .. I only have drama .. and then I hang around for the next block .. and then I am going over to your group ... so I said ... sure .. no problem .. missy blondie locks .. stay home ... its ony drama ! HA ... well ... she is certainly very good in the drama department ... she managed to have a complete vasalvagal event, turn grey, collapses to the floor ... proceeds to sweat wildly ... then cools off as she lays on the floor, and eventually we get her back to the couch ... where she has remained all day ... so being a semi not super mother ... I made an appointment with the Dr. ... all the way into next week ... gawdddddd Patrice !!!!

ABOUT the Patrice thing .... it comes from How I MEt Your Mother ... and is just quite funny how the character freaks out and yells at the lovely Patrice over nothing ... all the time. Probably in very bad humour ... although I believe it to be very funny humour. That being .. I am odd and all!!

So ... with all good things .. I hope the husband is in one piece on his arrival home today ... !!

What a great length of time.

This is somebodys birthday present !! It will arrive in days ... all canvased up and ready for hanging on the birthday persons wall.  They will be so excited!

So the above little photo is quite fitting for me right at this moment. Interesting that the very few bear pictures that I managed to even capture this year is the direction my life has turned.

I'm walking all on my lonesome, with a wounded paw, in a direction unknown.

Apparently it has been determined that I have cancer. Well, the consensus is that I have cancer, or the best guess is I have cancer... or the wind is blowing in that direction that I have cancer. Five biopsies later on my little right broken paw has left the doctors scratching their heads, including pathologists that refuse to resolve that what they are seeing beneath the microscopes is indeed cancer. The best I have got was it's "highly suspicious" ... well I am highly suspicious about lots of things ... like those ZOMBIES are real from the walking dead.... they really are!

So off I wander along a road where little is known ... and the road is long. I think I will drag my camera along for this ride, who knows what sights I will see as this journey unfolds.

The CHICK a LOTS

So it has been a great long while of untypability .. but it is what it is. Shuddup.

I have had the EXTREME great fortune to have done a couple of truly wonderful things the past number of months ...

The girl and I went to the MICHEAL BUBLE concert together. That was killer ... i more ways than one ... but KILLER to see this guy in action ... in pure singing action. His show was amazing ... and you have to admit .. despite him being all married up, having a child, and only living 10 minutes away from me ... ONE DOES LOVE THAT MAN !!!

The Girlie Girl has managed to teach herself to use her guitalele ... and GUESS WHAT .. she is rather extradinaire .. as she strums and hums away ehind her messy bedroom door .... gotta love this lovely blond princess!!

Then ... another KILLER moment was the time spent with the GIRL and our trip to PORTLAND. It was hysterically funny ... and horriblly awful at the same time. We took the AMTRAK train from Vancouver. Don't do it people .. just don't do it !! Alan in the Bistro car couldn't get his shit together .. which made for a comical ride down ... and a boring ride ack .. as Alan wasn't there to make announcements every 10 minutes as to whether he would canadian money, or american money, whether coins could even be handed to him .. or not .. and please be patient ... there were 200 of us, and ONE of him ... hmmmm .. logistics people tell me something.

LAST NIGHT was fantasmico !! The ELTON JOHN son and I went to go see Sir Elton John at Rogers Arena. Holy Freaking Sunshine Muffins was that man incredible. I think My Elton John son finally figured out what it was like to sit and listen to him play the piano in our lovely little living room. Yes people ... this is what I deal with on an almost nightly basis ... I am not wrong in calling him MY Elton John. Amazing.

Mish Mash and all the stash !

So before I forget all things comedic .... here's a couple for the road:

It was Bo Bo's birthday a couple of weeks back ... and all I did was take pictures of him on his birthday. I mean ... who wouldn't, look how happy this guy is! That's his new kong. And check out the deer paw ... to us, that is a sign on contentment ... this guy always has a deer paw happening!

On the weekend the girl went to grad as a date. She looked gorgeous. We had her hair done, and make up, and the perfect dress. She was the perfect date ... especiallt since she knew how to handle the cutlery on the table, as the rest of the group freaked out not knowing what to do with all the cutlery .. and then, when it came to the dessert table she knew how to direct traffic for those that didn't know what things were. OMAGAWD .. that cracked me up. I would post a picture .. but I didn't get one. Cause the Minnie wouldn't let me ! What a bad Minnie Min !

So she's grounded right now .. or so The Sir says ... she really isn't ... however she is hilarious as she swore last night ... which made me scream, The Jimmy fall to the floor, and The Sir yell at myself and the Jimmy that we have corrupted our lovely Min Min ... even Bo Bo went flailing outside with our beautiful swearing princess, as he too could not believe his what his big satellite ears were telling him ... that our Princess Min Min insisted that she could "fucking fix the computer pullout keyboard herself".

I guess it's a family thing ... you would have had to be here to see how the family compact reacted, while she calmly tried to fix the keyboard. 

Today The Jim and I went to purchase a new $5000.00 keyboard for him. It was supposed to be on sale. It wasn't. What a shame. At any rate .. as we drove in to the place where we DID NOT buy the keyboard .. the Jim says to me .. "listen .. we know how this customer service thing goes down in places like this .. z'... nobody helps us .. we have to hunt for people, you get inpatient, and your true crazy comes out ... so here's the thing ... you remain as normal as you can, let me do the talking, and we will all come out of this alive". That my people was serioously funny!!

It's still a beautiful evening out there ... but I might call it a day ... this girl sleeps very little, is really never comfortable ever ... and today is just not up to greatness as the same blue skies and lovely winds. I just have a pure case of the tireds, as one would probably have after many endless sleepless nights. I am certain I have maxed out on the max tylenol for one day ... so perhaps all the better if I try and rest this very sad excuse for a little foot and ultra sore leg.

A little of Mish and a little of Mash.

Gardening magic

I would post a crap ton of photos .... if I could manage. Somehow this blogger isn't capable of finding my photos from the ipad. Not sure how this is so.

So in things that I can talk about:

I have been studiously slowly painstakingly methodically working on my garden the past number of weeks. It's a painful process of endurance, timeliness and patience. Something of which there are certain attributes that I own, and others are not coming so naturally to me. Like patience. I have been working to embrace the new normal of patience that one must endure to work on an affected limb that does not have the mobility or the strength to keep up with the rest of me. It's highly exhausting to continuously deal with the chronic pain that lives within this leg, and the work that it takes to ignore IGNORE IGNORE all of it. I eat Tylenol Extra Strength like I eat caramel popcorn, ... by the gazillions ! I love that stuff ... and the easy swallow tylenols are just about up there on the I LOVE IT list ! I can't live without them currently! But that's OK, ... this will not be forever ... just a bit of a blip in the road of life. However; the blip has been going on for over two years now .. but again .. it's ok .. some blips just take a little longer to fix. Clearly this is a bit of a long stretch blip.

I do believe that soon I will be begin my marathon of alcoholic beverage consumption .... surely that will improve the tylenol effect .. no? I am off of the bug drugs, and have been for two weeks ... a whole two weeks ... I think I was off the bug drugs back in November for about a month and a bit ... so I have a ways to go before I can be all show offy and big about my achievements! Ha! In the meantime it probably would be best to take up the drinking fairly soon!

Back to garden talk:

Despite the above bullshit going on ... I have managed to renovate my garden patch. I have made it a ton SMALLER, and a ton more DENSE! It looks fantasmicle! OK .. so one day the sister came and helped me do some renovating as well, but I will admit ... I did a huge majority of it ... so I am glad to state that fact! Slow and steady does get things accomplished .. I have actually managed to do quite a bit when one sits back to think about it .. if only I could post from my pictures ... the tales I could tell!

In things that are comical: (to me!)

Yesterday the Bo Bo turned TWO! So in an effort of true comedy I kept taking photos of him, and posted them on facebook ... all day. Like I had nothing better to do. Well .. in actual fact I didn't ... I was outside chopping up sticks with my new loppers  ... and there I sat .. behind the wood pile just chopping. Not a single person in the world would believe me that it it's quite soothing to just sit and chop and mulch.

I have a master plan for life beyond the wood pile ... I actually envision a swing seat to eventually take the wood piles place. Now that would be a practical solution for the ugly woodpile fascade.

In other things comical:

The girl got asked to grad. Of course that comes at a cost. A BIG cost ... one that the GRAD date doesn't take into account when asking the question of "would you like to attend?" ... there then is the consideration of clothing, hair, shoes, limo rides, grad tickets, after grad tickets .... you know .. that sort of inexpensive stuff. IN THINGS THAT are HIGHLY COMICAL .. again I have stated to The Fuss that she is of the requirements that she requires a REAL job! One where she has to report to the establishment on a weekly basis, and not on a singular monthly basis. ... albeit good the job that she has ... all the same .. this girl needs cash in her pocket .. not her mother's cash in her pocket!

So in moments of inspiration:

It is a beautiful day out here ... I have been up since 0500, and certainly not a moment of time spent in regret .. I LOVE to be awake nice and early in the morning during this time of the year. I can't get enough of the sounds of birds floating and flittering about. Todays affirmations include just feeling at peace with the sounds and the winds and the cool morning temperatures. Not that it is hot here ... just a cool morning and feeling eager for the day, and he gardening adventures that MUST take place.

In things that MUST happen:

Clearly I seem to have issues in the running shoe department .. as in ... DO NOT WEAR YOUR RUNNERS in the GARDEN ... but I do .. and now they are kinda on the obnoxious dirty side. So I must throw my expensive runners in the wash ... and let the machine do it's magic.

Yesterday .. while it was busily being BO BO's birthday .. I washed all his blankets .. included in that blanket was a bone .. while it was in the washing machine .. I was thinking to myself .. this better not be an indication that BO BO is getting a new washing machine for his birthday, as the machine was making a highly odd sound .... of which I happily ignored... much to my happiness.

Well ... do the best to make the day magical.

OK ouch.

So Tuesday was NOT a good idea. In fact, if one prefers torcher as a good time, then they  quite preferably would have enjoyed going to the Americas. Now, since torcher is a NOT THE word that comes to my mind often in the sense of fun; however it was torcher of what the day consisted. Not a good time in that department.

BUT .... all that aside, as their is always an upswing to every story. ... the day was truly fun and lovely and i would happily go about it again, minus the pain crisis that I seemed to find myself in.

We ended up at Red Lobster .. while I hobbled about the sidewalk for a bit, trying to breathe through the pain .. and eventually I found a chair to rest my leg upon ... and we endured a lovely red lobster dinner experience with the lovely now 17 year old miss fuss a lot. The AUNTS found all kinds of tidbits of good things for the 5'9" beauty queen!

So my little world had expanded for a bit, as he foot hadfelt better ... and now ... that world has shrunk again as I can not seem to tolerate spending any amount of time walking or standing on it. Not sure what to make of that sort of stupidity. Gawd.

We went out to a fundraiser the other night ... it was at the legion. The boyson, and his friend were just hysterical over the grey haired alcohol event that unfolded before their eyes, and the cranky lady that opened the door to let us in "What are you doing here?" she demanded. She was a scary cranky purse wielding door opening lady. We knew to follow her commands to the tee, for fear of being belted.

Last night the boyson, the same friend, and his mother and I went out to the commodore ballroom. I do not believe I have entered this establishments doors. EVER! Don't ask me how that is ... as I have seen lots of shows over the course of time .. and lat night we all joined to watch "Current Swell". OMAGAWD .. I loved listening to them ...

And now today ... a beautiful Mother's Day or such ... and I have spent the day inside ... just mussing about with a foot/leg that pains me with every step ... ok ouch!

The debatable BUG !

I am sitting here contemplating ... do I, don't I, do I don't I ... DO I DON'T I ?

As per usual I can not make up my mind. GAWD ... what's new with that ?

The PRINCESS doll of a whole 17 years TODAY is heading off to the great U S of A's to go shopping with her lovely aunts.

The debateable BUG: can I stand to go? Literallt that is the question at hand. Not to confuse the already confusing issue of debateable bugs.

I have no fascination with shopping, I can't find the happiness in it, or the satisfaction of shopping. Hunting and gathering on a whole new not hunger related need. How is it possible that people love to look at things, and stuff, and acquire and amass .. items. Just items. Not me. I am looking to get rid of items .. all sorts of items, in fact .. lots of items! Be gone items of excess, how is it you came to be mine anyways I ask.

That said .. I do love to collect one thing, or something .. and that's stories. I have been lacking in the stories department for a great many months .. it's like been the great drought of 2012-2014 and a bit. Where have been my stories, and my tales, and my observations, and my photographs, and evidence that the human race is a varying degree of cultured crazy. Now that undebatedly has bugged me that that part of my life has been missing. Bugging me big time.

I have been offered up an adventure or greatness, and I indeed shall look upon this adventure as truly a great one .. with many details and ideas to be soaked into my conscious, just to be rebuilt upon this very story telling forum. AND yet again .. I contemplate.

In other debateable bug stories ... I am now living bug drug free, as of yesterday. Easier said than done, the great bug doctor said NO to bug drugs, I have lived wanting to say NO to bug drugs, and the super animated Bug Drug Hating Dr said a BIG NO to bug drugs, and I now I will live by the consequences of their decisions ... this immunosuppressed body now is going it alone in this bug filled bug hub of life .. so Yes, I had the great fortunes to send that bottle of bug killers to the back of the cupboard, and hope for the best that the bug that infiltrates the little bugger of a foot will remain at bay, and let me be.

The cool ladies will go shopping ... and this one ... well it will bug me if I debate whether or not I should go .. so off I go, and no debating about bringing the camera, if I leave without it .. that will BUG me.

Minds made up .. no more debating about this bug worthy event!

AND ... because I have proof of life outside of these four walls I leave you with this: