Frantically frantic.

I think.

I might be.

I am very much needing to make up for lost time.

I have lost a lot of time.

HUGE-a-MONGO amounts of time.

Unfathomable.

Like I have made my out of the longest Survivor maze ever. 

Forever present in the moment, and the beauty of the surroundings, but enveloped to the point of being strangled.

So now I am feeling frantic.

Edgy.

In need of ... something.

Like I need to get going, get moving, get living again.

Fortunately .. the weather is a bit nasty ... so that is keeping me locked up, and out of trouble.

Somewhat.

Plus, I just realized tonight that the boy had borrowed my camera .. a great long while ago, and even that isn't at my disposal. OUCH. 

I have taken up scrolling through Pinterest. Rhymes with interest, for great reason.

The passions of all the whackadoodle creativity is slowly coming alive, and I find myself longing for some magic to begin to unfold!!

But first I need a darning needle .. to finish the boys toque. MUST. FINISH. THE. TOQUE.

It's comedy actually that this project has been dithering about ... since November. All of the winter months .. where the boy essentially wears a toque everywhere he goes ... kind of like it's going to be the grand unveiling of his LONG hair. Comedic. 

In things that are greatly comedic:

I had the great opportunity to witness the GIRLIE girl sit and teach herself a lovely STAY WITH ME song, and the boy toodle about on the ukulele. Talk about changing tides!

I fisnihed these two books ...

One was TOTALLY CUTE, and made me laugh, laugh and laugh. It was not a book that an adult would read, but rather a younger kid .. I DON'T CARE .... it was as cute as the sweetest kitten picture ever posted on Facebok could ever be ... 

The OTHER book was abysmall ... deeply disturbing in a horrid motherly way .... very well written, but just so sadly disturbing ... I should have really read what the title was telling me ... 

So now .. moving onto my next book .. in keeping with the bluster of activity in the news of late .. I have To Kill a Mockingbird in my grasp!!

AND then .. when I get bored .. its back to Pinterest I go to continue gathering great ideas for my gardening adventures !!

Silence amongst us.

The ever so beautiful and amazing young lady of a daughter had her wisdom removed from that beautiful head of hers on Friday. She is just such a rock star, in a huge amount of ways. In her delirious perfectly good but high state, she texted her friends afterwords. Stating she was fine, no big deal. What a girl of epic porportions .... calm and steady .... with a small sentiment that she was ever so slightly nervous, as she had right to be.

So now that she has had her teeth sent to wisdom heaven, she has had to be only slightly quieter this past weekend. That's alright she has all her gadget that she needs surrounding her ..which is perfect in keeping one silent. Well, that and pain drugs ... do the trick.

In feats that will leave the readership astounded into even more silence would be the fact that I was actually able to make some jello for her. Sounds incredulous .. .seriously .. a feat such as boiling water, and stirring a powdery substance. Surely to gawd I am exagerating ... NOPE. That is how far I have fallen my loyals readerships. One would begin to guess and assume that surely to good gawdliness that I tell the lies of highest of mountains ... but no, the sad quiet detail of my life ..... that I have spent living it from the bed to a chair, and if I were to be out, it was always on tortuous borrowed time. ....  However ...  gasps that will truly shock ... I, in the same kitchen experience was able to boil up some macaroni noodles, and grate cheese, and offer up that as an offering off a soft and yet filling dinner for her. In regular joe times ... who would even speak of such ridiculouness ... boiling water, dumping noodles, grating cheese, and presenting that is a feat the same as discovering North America porportions ... YUP. After that amount of insane standing, and manuevering the little foot/leg recovered .. a number of hours later ... the truly nice part of all of this jaw dropping silence .. is the mere fact I was actually able to do it, ... and clean up after .... something that has been so absent from my life, for so many months. Long months.

In other things of great silence ... there is still an err of unease that exists inside this body beyond the 1 percent of badlike things that still resemble the horrid cancer bullshit. I have a whole arm / underarm thing where the poor arms are just swollen feeling and hard. I used the similar describing words as a great sale going on at Target, where the doors are pulsating and bulging from the people pushing on them .. with every added desperate shopper the doors bulge a little more ... I'm not a Target fan .. but my friend is .. she appreciated my humour ... as her beloved Target is going to close down ... and I sorta laughed at that ! And that is still the silence that I am living with ... hoping that all will settle itself down without a devious undermining developing.

I went to see the very nice surgeon last week. He agreed in acknowledgement that I was not comfortable knowlingly letting 1 percent still remain, and hoping that the inflammation alone would kill things off, I said I wasn't comfortable waiting for that eventuality to unfold.. The sugeon nodded, and did agree .. then said he would send me to a radiation oncologist. OK .. well ... that's alright except the three options of which none I was content with have now become one. A surgeon that wishes to NOT do surgery. Interesting. From what I know .... is that surgeons LOVE to do surgery. That's why they are surgeons, they don't really want the messy life components .. they want to cut, chop and refurbish. Now he is handing me off ... to see if a little zap will do me .. even though the surgeon said that even a little zap will melt my newly acquired graft. As pure life comedy would have it ... the best looking part of the graft is where the itty bitty 1 percent remains.

In other things of silence is the Jimstonson. He's silent, but not. He came forward with the plans from the crazy band. Holy not-silenceville-whatsoever .... they will be gone for three weeks, of which they will be playing twice a day ... well rock and roll charlie .... that's a good thing. The Elton John influence has truly come to show in his playing ... I will never forget the night that him and I got to go ... I was in horrific pain ... but yet .... what an impact it had on him. A silent smile creeps across my face on that one!

So in keeping with enjoying my chickalots ... a lot ... I had kept some tissue paper hearts from the Micheal Buble concert that the girl and I went to ... we had an awesome time .. her and I .... what a moment in time ... so all these pink and red hearts floated from the ceiling at the end of the show .. I of course picked up a couple of them, and safely put them in my phone case ... and I enjoy knowing they are there, as they always remind me of what a great time the girl and I had enjoying that good fellow Micheal ... ! So the other day I had a great idea to clean out the tub ... and swoosh like no tomorrow my iphone fell in the tub ... phone ended up dead, the tissue hearts water logged and destroyed ... so what did I end up doing ... i ploughed my phone into a rice bag, and then in an attempt to revive the hearts, I dumped rice on them ... well bless my soul ... I have a phone revival as well as tissue heart retrieval ... how awesome is that !

And now ... with both the chick a lots home ... I will inquire as to what is maintaining their silence .. amongst us.

Pinch pinch - pinch an inch

As time and calories have built up, so have the inches. Not an uncommon entity when it comes to being unable to move much, if at all.

So I go to the surgeon today ..... I fail to ask a thousand and three questions, oh wait ... or really any questions at all.

You know .. the small details in life ...

When can I really start back at standing and walking again?

I can't wait for the pain to wear off, because that could be an eternity.

So, I'm using Bactigras, and from what I have learned from having a graft is that they start to dry out. OK, so when do I start moisturizing? ... not sure how you moisturize around weeping spots ... but that is saved for a day when prettier conversation prevails.

I didn't bother to ask about numbness, or the fact that there is complete numbness. That should maybe return in ..... how about never amount of time.

The real trickster portion of the day is the very fact that I can not walk on it with out a runner; however, I am supposed to leave it open to air, which is all fine except when I go to walk ... So I have to protect it ... while being in a shoe ... which means it's all wrapped up. It's a make work project really ... then when I am done ... I unwrap it again ... so gawd help me if all the gadgets of life are not at my disposal ...  or I forget to switch the load of laundry !

Now in the meantime ... I am looking at ways I can get back to doing something that has a little cardiovascular component, as well as a little bit of a stretching exercise ... to be moveable again .... I think there is an app for that !

In the meantime ... I am not seemingly dissatisfied with the inches that I can now pinches .... after the endless hours of non stop walking and running .... that's OK ... I will make it back .... 

I am graft worthy!!

The graft seems to be happy.  Look at me doing things right.

For a change.

Finally.

Except not completely.

There is no tissue left on one of the tendons. Tendons don't bond to grafts. Time will tell as to what it decides to do.

Then there is the little issue of ... somehow they managed to remove the whole 99% of this cancerous mess.

What about the remaining ONE PERCENT?

So ONE PERCENT of remaining cancer, is still cancer.

That's how that story goes.

The steps to what is next, is TIME.

TIME is what I need to be on my side before "they" proceed to removing the remaining ONE PERCENT.

This means that the Dr. is handing out options as to which the team of "people" whoever "they" are will make decisions as to which way to proceed ...whethers is another sugery, or whether they radiate the area. The surgeon said surgery would be tricky ... not sure how that is the case ... from what I see I have been through the biggest trickfest of my life. The next equally unfavoured option is to radiate the area ... to which the surgeon said it would melt away the prervious graft.

Yowsers. Grand options.

The hilarity of today was removing the staples. Ya, not recommended on skin that is super hard. I think I lost 15 pounds in sweat that poured from me as the staples were plucked out. So, for all you ninny cats out there ... staples are not THAT painful .... I have had to have them twice before ... and what do they feel like ... a little tug ... a swift little tug .. not so bad ... not so bad . when the skin actually gives way to the swift little tug .... but when the skin has no give, at all ... it's like pulling nails out of a piece of wood. THAT's the TRUTH you NINNY CATS!

But I'm alive. And I have a feeling I'm so not a NINNY CAT.


In things are way moe hilarious in this worldy life ....

SO we have the now LONG since graduated son ... coming up two years worthy of graduation from HIGH school .. and then we move on to the ever so beautifulest girlie girt in the world ... The Min Min!! Her graduation is slowly setting upon us .  So like the boy ... I also got a grad photo of them ... except not dressed in grad garb, but just a nice photo of their last year in high school ... the boy has a respectible 9x12 photo ... set in an 12 x 14 frame. It's all respectable and within not overly screaming in your face PHOTOGRAPHS ... and then along comes The Min Min ... somehow I managed to purchase a TRUE to LIFE 16 x 20 portrait of her ... HILARIOUS ... the bigger than life girlie girl happily smiling along side of the suave looking handsome gentlemen brother ... TOO FUNNY !!

Welcome to the scary world

So my job currently is just sitting here ... ever so still ... not moving this foot really one iota!!

I did some googled up reading on grafts ... and the one thing that I read about them .. is the fact that they are not supposed to move .. at all ... so being that this rather large graft is sitting on the top of my foot .. and I am still walking on this foot .. well, semi walking .. I am semi sorta scared crapless that this graft is not going to take .. and just peel off when I show up in the surgeons office on Tuesday. So I am doing almost everything in my power to keep this foot busily grafting until then.

I think tomorrow I MIGHT go sit in the livingroom ... for a bit ... I will see how my leg likes the semi elevation ... it might not .. and I will find myself just sitting atop this bed ... I am better off here anyways ... I have all my super gadgets and pieces of equipment .. and really .. at this time of year, the weather outdoors doesn't look so drastically different !

So yes ... scary google graft reading ... probably better that I did .. since I didn't really have any true discharge instructions .. other than the very basic .. "my job was to keep my foot up". Not much to go on, and really it's the implications of what happens if you don't do it according to plan ...

Go me ... 

Thank. Freaking. Gawd.

Another Friday ... but the first of the 2015 story.

Probably couldn't have lived another lifetime of the past number of weeks over again. Unbelievable!

Now ... 4 days post surgery ... although I can not walk on my foot ... I feel hugely better.

The Good Lord was working for me the other day when the surgeon refused to do the surgery after the pathologist didn't show up ... we needed a pathologist this day ... very much so ... so it has all ended favourably ... now will just wait the final pathology .. and then hope for the best that this beastly disease didn't migrate while everybody was busy holidaying and being jovial (I wasn't included in the jovial part!)

I will admit ... the time spent living for most of December was pretty despicable .. and the first couple of days into January was moving still in that direction .. but now ... I'm off and running!

OK NOT.

But,

NOW .. is when I get to start getting better.
NOW .. is when I get to start getting excited.
NOW ...is when I get to start planning for better things to happen.
NOW .. is when I get to feel that I am finally out of the woods.

This endless story has just gone on too long, It almost seems impossible to believe that this has been so long and drawn out .. to the point of stupid.

Well ... moving forward then ... I can focus on all the adventures that I can now take! So it's exciting to sit back and fathom the possibilities.

Finally.

Tired.

Yup, I'm tired.

I'm tired of waiting .... for the holidays to be over.

They haven't even started.

If the holidays were not just around the corner ... I would have been slated to be fixed a whole shit ton faster ... but we have to wait for the festive indulgent event to quiet itself, and for life to return to normal before my life can return to normal.

So yes ... I'm tired of waiting.

In the meantime ... I can move even less, stand even less, sit even less, have patience even less, be empathetic even less, be helpful even less. Not the ideal time of year to be this useless. OH wait ... I was this useless last year.

I am certain that NEXT year life will be different ... maybe a HOLIDAY away would be a perfect way to celebrate ! Ha ... that's wishful thinking .. the Sir would not leave his turkey cooking and pie building for a second longer .... !!

So for now ... I will carry on with being tired ... and being thankful that this cancer business will be fixed up in the very beginning of the new year ... it leaves lots of time for a new improved version of me now for the rest of the year ... 

Blessed Be Me - I say to Thee!!

So away I went to the lispful surgeon the other day.

I brought the sister with me ... because the last two times I had seen this fellow I wondered to myself if I just didn't follow along clearly enough ... and I was just a dog gone bone filled idiot ... and didn't get the info right.

Well ... it appears that the sister and I are both dog gone bone filled idiots ... because we left the surgeons office yesterday both rather semi confused.... but not really.

I have a list of circumstances that will change as the surgery unfolds ... all of which I know nothing of what will happen until I wake up .... go me!!

I have to say ... I am overjoyed to the ultimate - that this horrific business happening to my foot .. is just that ... only the skin ... not the bones, blood or lymph .... except that the lispful surgeon doesnt know to what extent the skin is involved ... so it's tricky ... but what isnt tricky is all the other stuff. That makes life so much easier. .... if not much more politer.

Yup ... feeling blessed to the max ... if shit had to happen ... then this is the type of shit that I am good with ....

Minus three

I have three things I am going to do today.

VOTE.
Go to the craft store.
And go see some eagles.

It is a beautiful day already .. and cold ... of course it's not really that cold compared to some spots .. but it is too cold for me ... I think thought that I will bring my Oompa pants with me .. that will block some of the cold somehow. Good thought.

In other things way more less straight forward:

Six months of waiting , Five Dermatologists, Four biopsies later ... these people did arrive at a diagnosis. I was sitting at a 80-90% chance of this being positive ... the last 10% was revealed yesterday ... so my hold out of hope was dashed. I have to say ... I was respectfully holding out hope, however with the other number looming in the foreground I knew which road I would be walking

So now onto surgery. Ya ... I don't think I will be waiting three, two or one month for that to happen.

That's up to ONE plastic surgeon.

Oh brother.

Speaking of brothers:

He's always on Big Bruver's Bed, and always on Big Bruver's side ... and we call him Kevy ... a secondary nickname to BO BO, with the first name relation being Angus.

It's a good evening.. oming

So another day has come and gone, and the telephone sits silent.

I would really love to know how it's possible for time to slip past so quietly, and yet so slowly.

I have very much decided that I really dislike the days leading up to Remembrance Day. This isn't just a thought from last week .... this has been something rolling along for a great many years. Although, this year has prooved to be entirely different. The days have whipped past, while slowly sneaking away. I am bored out of my tree milling about ...doing little tasks of life .. in very small doses, as I can't really manage to do a lot at one time.

I do stack two or three, and four or five details of the day into one grand event ... and then must pause, well stop completely and sit with the foot up, as it actually is agonizing otherwise. For the most part I am doing much better ... way much  better ... at least I do not have the agonizing leg pain that has plagued me for numerous months ... now if I stand on my leg ... I can just feel it start to get sorer and sorer and sorer ... but once I get off of it .... it settles down again ... but of course that leaves you with not being able to do much.  I will say I very much envy being able to walk out my front door, and just go running or walking or which I once upon a time desired.  Now I still have the desire .. although I do not have the cooperation....

I'm kinda bored about this whole biopsy business. I will openly say that I do not think that people are in a big hurry to arrive at a diagnosis very quickly .. it was the middle of August when the quirky dermatologist told me I needed a biopsy NOW, like two months ago yesterday sort of NOW .. and here we are ... the middle of November, and I am still plunking along waiting to hear again about a foot that has never wished to cooperate on any road it has traveled. Mind you .. I do have good runners ... and they match my cloured vests ... so you now ... at least we have good colour and comfort going on for me!

It's Eagle Season ... and I am going to go and find some eagle shots ... I managed to completely somehow miss salmon spawning season .. and that just happened up the road, and I managed to miss it. I went driving up their yeserday and was withered by the realization that I had missed it. Well .. I kind of wondered where I had been ... because I really am a professional at going NOWHERE !!

I believe for the most part that the bears have hightailed it back into the woods to find their winteryly slumbering spots. I haven't pulled out all my summer flowers yet, and just pulled out my dahlia bulbs yesterday and stored them away for safe keeping. I haven't cleaned up a bunch of my pots, and the hostas are slowly melting into the earth .. but that's ok ... they are kinda slimy now anyways. I have to admit ... Fushias are a pretty hardy little flowering plant ... they are still blooming ..

I even got the handsome son to earn his keep and pick up a bunch of branches that The Sir ad raked into a pile after our massive windstorm yesterday. Crazy towns ... it was nice to see the leaves blow off our front yard tree down the street ... it was ever so convenient!

Well, as with everything ... I am bored. Bored of everything. Currently all I am listening to is "FIRE!! ... "Fire!" ... The boyson is busily playing some game with pirates ... on the xbox one .... lucky guy ... being that interested in playing a game for that many gazillion of hours !!

Will be back .... when I have eagle pictures to splash amongst the flat confines of this space.

At some point you are a professional!

So LAST time I said to those Doctory types .. NO MORE BIOPSIES for ME !! Of course that was me concluding that THAT time was the last time, because surely to gawd the Pathologists would find whatever it is they were looking for with their microscopes and analyzers, and eyebulbs that probe for scary things and the like.

Today .. biopsy number 6 sample was taken. This one is the end of the road. For certain. The Plastic Surgeon even said it was the last biopsy sample he was going to take ... he's only taken two ... but I guess when you are the surgeon .. it get's a bit embarressing to be asked to RE-DO your work ... because after all ... aren't plastic surgeons the end of the road in that department?

So now ... I will sit and wait .. and heal this foot AGAIN ... although the answer has already been determined ... more or less ... well, more than less actually ... sighhhhhhhh.

Now that I am a professional at having biopsies taken out of the same spot on a very already sore little foot ... off I went to the Monday Group. Ya, I couldn't really walk at the end the session ... although ... I think it might have had more to do with the horrible tape that was stuck to my already very sore little foot, more than the actual sore foot itself.

GAWD damn it PATRICE!! who asked for the tape anyways...!!

I said to the fellow .. ya, that is not going to work ... but they put it on anyways ... because they didn't want to use the expensive bandage ... although I should have said ... Let's use that one ... why would that guy know that ... ? I will tell him in two weeks when I see him again....

So the BO BO boy has a sore paw too, he will be going to see the doggy fixer uper once the Sir get's home. Poor BO BO ....

Of course then we have the girl ... holy crap ... now .. she quietly says to me this morning ... do I need to go to school .. I only have drama .. and then I hang around for the next block .. and then I am going over to your group ... so I said ... sure .. no problem .. missy blondie locks .. stay home ... its ony drama ! HA ... well ... she is certainly very good in the drama department ... she managed to have a complete vasalvagal event, turn grey, collapses to the floor ... proceeds to sweat wildly ... then cools off as she lays on the floor, and eventually we get her back to the couch ... where she has remained all day ... so being a semi not super mother ... I made an appointment with the Dr. ... all the way into next week ... gawdddddd Patrice !!!!

ABOUT the Patrice thing .... it comes from How I MEt Your Mother ... and is just quite funny how the character freaks out and yells at the lovely Patrice over nothing ... all the time. Probably in very bad humour ... although I believe it to be very funny humour. That being .. I am odd and all!!

So ... with all good things .. I hope the husband is in one piece on his arrival home today ... !!

What a great length of time.

This is somebodys birthday present !! It will arrive in days ... all canvased up and ready for hanging on the birthday persons wall.  They will be so excited!

So the above little photo is quite fitting for me right at this moment. Interesting that the very few bear pictures that I managed to even capture this year is the direction my life has turned.

I'm walking all on my lonesome, with a wounded paw, in a direction unknown.

Apparently it has been determined that I have cancer. Well, the consensus is that I have cancer, or the best guess is I have cancer... or the wind is blowing in that direction that I have cancer. Five biopsies later on my little right broken paw has left the doctors scratching their heads, including pathologists that refuse to resolve that what they are seeing beneath the microscopes is indeed cancer. The best I have got was it's "highly suspicious" ... well I am highly suspicious about lots of things ... like those ZOMBIES are real from the walking dead.... they really are!

So off I wander along a road where little is known ... and the road is long. I think I will drag my camera along for this ride, who knows what sights I will see as this journey unfolds.

The CHICK a LOTS

So it has been a great long while of untypability .. but it is what it is. Shuddup.

I have had the EXTREME great fortune to have done a couple of truly wonderful things the past number of months ...

The girl and I went to the MICHEAL BUBLE concert together. That was killer ... i more ways than one ... but KILLER to see this guy in action ... in pure singing action. His show was amazing ... and you have to admit .. despite him being all married up, having a child, and only living 10 minutes away from me ... ONE DOES LOVE THAT MAN !!!

The Girlie Girl has managed to teach herself to use her guitalele ... and GUESS WHAT .. she is rather extradinaire .. as she strums and hums away ehind her messy bedroom door .... gotta love this lovely blond princess!!

Then ... another KILLER moment was the time spent with the GIRL and our trip to PORTLAND. It was hysterically funny ... and horriblly awful at the same time. We took the AMTRAK train from Vancouver. Don't do it people .. just don't do it !! Alan in the Bistro car couldn't get his shit together .. which made for a comical ride down ... and a boring ride ack .. as Alan wasn't there to make announcements every 10 minutes as to whether he would canadian money, or american money, whether coins could even be handed to him .. or not .. and please be patient ... there were 200 of us, and ONE of him ... hmmmm .. logistics people tell me something.

LAST NIGHT was fantasmico !! The ELTON JOHN son and I went to go see Sir Elton John at Rogers Arena. Holy Freaking Sunshine Muffins was that man incredible. I think My Elton John son finally figured out what it was like to sit and listen to him play the piano in our lovely little living room. Yes people ... this is what I deal with on an almost nightly basis ... I am not wrong in calling him MY Elton John. Amazing.

Mish Mash and all the stash !

So before I forget all things comedic .... here's a couple for the road:

It was Bo Bo's birthday a couple of weeks back ... and all I did was take pictures of him on his birthday. I mean ... who wouldn't, look how happy this guy is! That's his new kong. And check out the deer paw ... to us, that is a sign on contentment ... this guy always has a deer paw happening!

On the weekend the girl went to grad as a date. She looked gorgeous. We had her hair done, and make up, and the perfect dress. She was the perfect date ... especiallt since she knew how to handle the cutlery on the table, as the rest of the group freaked out not knowing what to do with all the cutlery .. and then, when it came to the dessert table she knew how to direct traffic for those that didn't know what things were. OMAGAWD .. that cracked me up. I would post a picture .. but I didn't get one. Cause the Minnie wouldn't let me ! What a bad Minnie Min !

So she's grounded right now .. or so The Sir says ... she really isn't ... however she is hilarious as she swore last night ... which made me scream, The Jimmy fall to the floor, and The Sir yell at myself and the Jimmy that we have corrupted our lovely Min Min ... even Bo Bo went flailing outside with our beautiful swearing princess, as he too could not believe his what his big satellite ears were telling him ... that our Princess Min Min insisted that she could "fucking fix the computer pullout keyboard herself".

I guess it's a family thing ... you would have had to be here to see how the family compact reacted, while she calmly tried to fix the keyboard. 

Today The Jim and I went to purchase a new $5000.00 keyboard for him. It was supposed to be on sale. It wasn't. What a shame. At any rate .. as we drove in to the place where we DID NOT buy the keyboard .. the Jim says to me .. "listen .. we know how this customer service thing goes down in places like this .. z'... nobody helps us .. we have to hunt for people, you get inpatient, and your true crazy comes out ... so here's the thing ... you remain as normal as you can, let me do the talking, and we will all come out of this alive". That my people was serioously funny!!

It's still a beautiful evening out there ... but I might call it a day ... this girl sleeps very little, is really never comfortable ever ... and today is just not up to greatness as the same blue skies and lovely winds. I just have a pure case of the tireds, as one would probably have after many endless sleepless nights. I am certain I have maxed out on the max tylenol for one day ... so perhaps all the better if I try and rest this very sad excuse for a little foot and ultra sore leg.

A little of Mish and a little of Mash.

Gardening magic

I would post a crap ton of photos .... if I could manage. Somehow this blogger isn't capable of finding my photos from the ipad. Not sure how this is so.

So in things that I can talk about:

I have been studiously slowly painstakingly methodically working on my garden the past number of weeks. It's a painful process of endurance, timeliness and patience. Something of which there are certain attributes that I own, and others are not coming so naturally to me. Like patience. I have been working to embrace the new normal of patience that one must endure to work on an affected limb that does not have the mobility or the strength to keep up with the rest of me. It's highly exhausting to continuously deal with the chronic pain that lives within this leg, and the work that it takes to ignore IGNORE IGNORE all of it. I eat Tylenol Extra Strength like I eat caramel popcorn, ... by the gazillions ! I love that stuff ... and the easy swallow tylenols are just about up there on the I LOVE IT list ! I can't live without them currently! But that's OK, ... this will not be forever ... just a bit of a blip in the road of life. However; the blip has been going on for over two years now .. but again .. it's ok .. some blips just take a little longer to fix. Clearly this is a bit of a long stretch blip.

I do believe that soon I will be begin my marathon of alcoholic beverage consumption .... surely that will improve the tylenol effect .. no? I am off of the bug drugs, and have been for two weeks ... a whole two weeks ... I think I was off the bug drugs back in November for about a month and a bit ... so I have a ways to go before I can be all show offy and big about my achievements! Ha! In the meantime it probably would be best to take up the drinking fairly soon!

Back to garden talk:

Despite the above bullshit going on ... I have managed to renovate my garden patch. I have made it a ton SMALLER, and a ton more DENSE! It looks fantasmicle! OK .. so one day the sister came and helped me do some renovating as well, but I will admit ... I did a huge majority of it ... so I am glad to state that fact! Slow and steady does get things accomplished .. I have actually managed to do quite a bit when one sits back to think about it .. if only I could post from my pictures ... the tales I could tell!

In things that are comical: (to me!)

Yesterday the Bo Bo turned TWO! So in an effort of true comedy I kept taking photos of him, and posted them on facebook ... all day. Like I had nothing better to do. Well .. in actual fact I didn't ... I was outside chopping up sticks with my new loppers  ... and there I sat .. behind the wood pile just chopping. Not a single person in the world would believe me that it it's quite soothing to just sit and chop and mulch.

I have a master plan for life beyond the wood pile ... I actually envision a swing seat to eventually take the wood piles place. Now that would be a practical solution for the ugly woodpile fascade.

In other things comical:

The girl got asked to grad. Of course that comes at a cost. A BIG cost ... one that the GRAD date doesn't take into account when asking the question of "would you like to attend?" ... there then is the consideration of clothing, hair, shoes, limo rides, grad tickets, after grad tickets .... you know .. that sort of inexpensive stuff. IN THINGS THAT are HIGHLY COMICAL .. again I have stated to The Fuss that she is of the requirements that she requires a REAL job! One where she has to report to the establishment on a weekly basis, and not on a singular monthly basis. ... albeit good the job that she has ... all the same .. this girl needs cash in her pocket .. not her mother's cash in her pocket!

So in moments of inspiration:

It is a beautiful day out here ... I have been up since 0500, and certainly not a moment of time spent in regret .. I LOVE to be awake nice and early in the morning during this time of the year. I can't get enough of the sounds of birds floating and flittering about. Todays affirmations include just feeling at peace with the sounds and the winds and the cool morning temperatures. Not that it is hot here ... just a cool morning and feeling eager for the day, and he gardening adventures that MUST take place.

In things that MUST happen:

Clearly I seem to have issues in the running shoe department .. as in ... DO NOT WEAR YOUR RUNNERS in the GARDEN ... but I do .. and now they are kinda on the obnoxious dirty side. So I must throw my expensive runners in the wash ... and let the machine do it's magic.

Yesterday .. while it was busily being BO BO's birthday .. I washed all his blankets .. included in that blanket was a bone .. while it was in the washing machine .. I was thinking to myself .. this better not be an indication that BO BO is getting a new washing machine for his birthday, as the machine was making a highly odd sound .... of which I happily ignored... much to my happiness.

Well ... do the best to make the day magical.

OK ouch.

So Tuesday was NOT a good idea. In fact, if one prefers torcher as a good time, then they  quite preferably would have enjoyed going to the Americas. Now, since torcher is a NOT THE word that comes to my mind often in the sense of fun; however it was torcher of what the day consisted. Not a good time in that department.

BUT .... all that aside, as their is always an upswing to every story. ... the day was truly fun and lovely and i would happily go about it again, minus the pain crisis that I seemed to find myself in.

We ended up at Red Lobster .. while I hobbled about the sidewalk for a bit, trying to breathe through the pain .. and eventually I found a chair to rest my leg upon ... and we endured a lovely red lobster dinner experience with the lovely now 17 year old miss fuss a lot. The AUNTS found all kinds of tidbits of good things for the 5'9" beauty queen!

So my little world had expanded for a bit, as he foot hadfelt better ... and now ... that world has shrunk again as I can not seem to tolerate spending any amount of time walking or standing on it. Not sure what to make of that sort of stupidity. Gawd.

We went out to a fundraiser the other night ... it was at the legion. The boyson, and his friend were just hysterical over the grey haired alcohol event that unfolded before their eyes, and the cranky lady that opened the door to let us in "What are you doing here?" she demanded. She was a scary cranky purse wielding door opening lady. We knew to follow her commands to the tee, for fear of being belted.

Last night the boyson, the same friend, and his mother and I went out to the commodore ballroom. I do not believe I have entered this establishments doors. EVER! Don't ask me how that is ... as I have seen lots of shows over the course of time .. and lat night we all joined to watch "Current Swell". OMAGAWD .. I loved listening to them ...

And now today ... a beautiful Mother's Day or such ... and I have spent the day inside ... just mussing about with a foot/leg that pains me with every step ... ok ouch!

The debatable BUG !

I am sitting here contemplating ... do I, don't I, do I don't I ... DO I DON'T I ?

As per usual I can not make up my mind. GAWD ... what's new with that ?

The PRINCESS doll of a whole 17 years TODAY is heading off to the great U S of A's to go shopping with her lovely aunts.

The debateable BUG: can I stand to go? Literallt that is the question at hand. Not to confuse the already confusing issue of debateable bugs.

I have no fascination with shopping, I can't find the happiness in it, or the satisfaction of shopping. Hunting and gathering on a whole new not hunger related need. How is it possible that people love to look at things, and stuff, and acquire and amass .. items. Just items. Not me. I am looking to get rid of items .. all sorts of items, in fact .. lots of items! Be gone items of excess, how is it you came to be mine anyways I ask.

That said .. I do love to collect one thing, or something .. and that's stories. I have been lacking in the stories department for a great many months .. it's like been the great drought of 2012-2014 and a bit. Where have been my stories, and my tales, and my observations, and my photographs, and evidence that the human race is a varying degree of cultured crazy. Now that undebatedly has bugged me that that part of my life has been missing. Bugging me big time.

I have been offered up an adventure or greatness, and I indeed shall look upon this adventure as truly a great one .. with many details and ideas to be soaked into my conscious, just to be rebuilt upon this very story telling forum. AND yet again .. I contemplate.

In other debateable bug stories ... I am now living bug drug free, as of yesterday. Easier said than done, the great bug doctor said NO to bug drugs, I have lived wanting to say NO to bug drugs, and the super animated Bug Drug Hating Dr said a BIG NO to bug drugs, and I now I will live by the consequences of their decisions ... this immunosuppressed body now is going it alone in this bug filled bug hub of life .. so Yes, I had the great fortunes to send that bottle of bug killers to the back of the cupboard, and hope for the best that the bug that infiltrates the little bugger of a foot will remain at bay, and let me be.

The cool ladies will go shopping ... and this one ... well it will bug me if I debate whether or not I should go .. so off I go, and no debating about bringing the camera, if I leave without it .. that will BUG me.

Minds made up .. no more debating about this bug worthy event!

AND ... because I have proof of life outside of these four walls I leave you with this:

Loving the toast

Ok seriously ... how does one come to love toast a lot?

Cause I am one that has come to LOVE toast than more than one could dare to imagine.

Of course I LOVE peoples accents, and peoples actions, and places that I get to see people, and people that wear nice lovely shirts, and dogs that look cute, and pictures that inspire me. I LOVE that stuff to bits ... 

BUT .. there is that ONE thing that wakes you up to a brand new day ... and it's called TOAST!

A toast for the TOAST!

I'm not sure when this transformation occured ,,, it was like a settling force that came to town, I am not sure if it's a seasonal thing .. like when you watch the leaves on the trees emerge in the spring ... because I have had fair opportunity to sit and watch all of these actions unfold. However toast is something that just keeps happening ... it's like a fresh spring morning ... every single morning. WHO could get bored of that ? Not me I say. 

Then of course there is the gentle paring of flavours. Will is be an apple, or a strawberry, or a deeper flavour like peanut butter, or then just bacon, or bacon and an egg, and then perhaps bacon eggs and tomatoes. Occasionally the excitement could be a strong cheddar slice with some raspberry jam. Now that is a delightful morning taste.

I just can't enough of my toast, toast, toast. There are the rare but REAL occasions that the toast must be eaten on it's very lonesome ... like just with some butter smothered on top. Now that taste is for real .. one of the best.

The configurations and contemplations are an endless game, albeit that the kitchen cupboard is stocked with varying taste transitions for the morning pallet.

One must not think too deeply about the additions to the toast filled endeavour, as it will ruin the moment of savouring the flavour filled expectations, it's almost like you have to reach you have to put all the items on a lazy suzy and spin till it stops, and the item that comes before you is the item that will be placed upon the toast. Bare in mind that I did not mention the blueberry and syrup combination now that is a flavour explosion one must be prepared for .. and therefore doesn't qualify for the lazy suzy agenda .. but must be contemplated all the same.

So much excitement ..... so little time ... think about it ... there is only 365 and occasionally 366 days to perfect the morning toast procedures. I am so glad I believe in the do-ever system ... so that way if I didn't get it right first thing in the morning .. I still have two more chances in the day to get it right.

Happy toasting folks!

Happy MayDAYS!

So my sister came over the other day ... I fed her licorice and goodies .. because can you believe it .. they didn't have any licorice allsorts. It's a good thing ... she says they are her vice! BUT .. I did get some good work out of her ... all sugared up and stuff and such!

I have/had been revamping my little back shade garden ... which required my moving and shoveling and walking and more digging and bending. All things that my little foot is most unhappy doing. I guess I have had enough of trying to get it to work properly that I asked for the Garden Goddess to come in for the kill! Which she did quite nicely I have managed to make the shade garden just a titch smaller .. now my whack of hostas are going to fill the space to the brim. 

In the meantime while all the garden madness ensued: we had a certain BO-BO that barked and flitted about the yard, and dropped his favourite balls all around our work area. Spilling water cups and hiding behind the green waste container .. just enough so he good dig his paws into the good green earth .. yes GREEN ... this furry boy does love his hole building adventures!

I found out today my friend was having an all day scrapbooking event ... missed out on that ... drag a million ! In other things that are a drag ... I am TRYING to create a scrapbook from the New York Adventure .. I can only do it on the husbandmans laptop .. MY LUCK ... as the scrapbooking thingy website place doesn't have an upload feature from dropbox .. which is where I housed all my photos .. so I could conduct business from the comfort of my livingroom chair via the ipad. That's something that I call the FML feature of my life !

I'm looking forward to washing my car ... and vacuuming it .. or better yet .. I think I am looking forward to finding a groupon that is going to do it for me! I am truly a professional at spending money via the internet these days. Now there is something to be super proud of !

In other things that I am proud of:

Watching that girl of mine be a part of the school performance "All. Shook.Up". I was wowed on all SIX nights of the show. Of course I am not wowed by the photos .. but that is par for the course with me .. 

In other things that are outwowing the wow filled wowness: The bad little foot/leg is living up to its evil self ... and has continued to somehow not wow me in the getting better department. It is so close to getting better that it is truly evil that it is not. I will make my way to the bug doctor lady ... which I really didn't want to go to, as she has real people with real bugs to deal with .. not this stupid little plague but us all foot that I own .... but ... I also thought .. I might just call her .. since I didnt want to make the decision as to what I should be doing ... so I called her office .. and asked if I stay on "these" antibiotics, or just discontinue them ... the efficient secretary said ... " I will send her a message ... that way if she says continue .. you don't have to come see her ..." ... The efficient secretary called me back .. with an appointment to see the bug doctor lady. In some ways probably not a bad thing since even though I can walk on my foot, it just continues to burn and has some lovely evil red streaks shooting around, with some interesting looking long swollen spot on the foot .. so you know .. everyday is a mysterious gift with this foot. One day it will be better. I'm forever certqin that one day is very near ... as I have wine to drink, and alcohol that I would wish to indulge in ...  I mean come on ... all this straight living induced my medication can only be tolerated for only so long!

So my girl ate some celery the other day ... she tells me after that eating celery makes her tongue go numb ... so she googles it .. and it happens .... to people .. from what I see ... something called Eugenol that might cause this to happen ... all the same .. sort of freaky .. so I asked her not to eat too much celery .. because a numb tongue leads to what ... speaking in a strange tongue .. and this girl is already strange enough! Ha!

I just remembered that I boiled the kettle ... probably over an hour and a half ago ... for some tea ... good thing that I have profound synapsing to have remembered that .. and on that note ... off I go to injest one of my bug drugs, some tea and tongue numbing celery ... 

It's settled!

I told the husbandman the other day. He semi inquired as to what was settled ... and that is where I lead into the story that he was going on a CRUISE with me ... in TWO years! Of course he was semi puzzled and then questioned his need to go on a cruise with me .. and that is where I told him that since he picked me as his life partner .. then he was just going to have to put up with me wanting to do something ... after 25 years of marriage. He didnt disagree, so I have assumed that he is agreeable to the cruising adventure!

MARK my words .. this freaking foot better just be completely better by then ... I plan on seeing the eastern part of Canada, and WAIT FOR IT ... am heading back to NEW YORK for some additional building spotting time! I am quite excited for this .. not sure how the husbandman is feeling .. other than he has two years to DEE-vorce me if he most unhappy on my adventure that I am excited to embark upon!

In other exciting adventures:

I met the most interesting Dr. the other day. He practically stomped his feet in hissyfitness as to why I was on antibiotics... and the most evil of them all ... something that drained into your arm no less! I loved how he exclaimed that he could throw a q-tip of one's nose or behind and find worse bugs, and we don't antibiotics for that. So after describing the misadventures of the little foot, he still remained insensed over the insidiousness of it all.  I then admitted that WE (myself and another Dr.) had had a good general discussion about him, and his hatred of antibiotics. He seemed most pleased with this sharing of information.

So then he told me to use this cream (Cyclocort) over the entire lesion on this foot. (Which he classified that it wasn't a wound, or an ulcer) .... I then said that the antibiotics had HELPED get it better over the course of January, Feburary, March .. etc... his short little Japanese wiry locks seems to  lose gravity after I said this .. and I believe I almost spotted little devlish horns begin to emerge .. so I took his advice, and spread this potent steroid cream over my lesion. One thing that weighs heavily on my brain, the fact that antibiotics are a vile form of treatment, and steroid cream isn't. Uhm.... everybody has their love affair dont they? At any rate .. I smeared the little foot with the cream, as he had requested .. and guess what folks ... FREAKING LIVED TO REGRET THAT HYSTERICAL ADVICE. Holy fat shrimp burgers, it burnt the living hell out of every inch of nerve ending on this foot ... and leg. I am still dealing with the fall out. Yes. All true! The biggest mosts lasting part was his hysterics ... poor little guy to think that he strolls thru life this way. Much to the humour of the crazy peeps like me.


In many other idiotic adventures I am now off to see somebody else about this craziness foot factor that is plaguing me. My favourite shirted good fellow rheumatologist guy told me he was done with me. So done with me. He told me that for real. I am guessing he doesn't like my bright pink vest, or the fact that I call him a colourful comedian. Actually last week I called him a detective, with extra credentials in doctoring.  Well what he doesn't know about me ... is that I am done with him! If he can't figure out to READ MY MIND on the day that I am to show up in his office, and put on MY FAVOURITE SHIRT that he owns .... then I just don't think our relationship can continue! It's not possible ... how am I supposed to sit and listen to his lovely fast irish/english accent .... in his regular baby blue shirt ... when he owns a spectacular lavender turquoise and white one. I mean gawd. OK .. so he does have a blue checked one, which I am amiable to ... now he just has to read my mind, and fast ... cause our relationship is dwindling ! I think when his secretary calls, I am going to have to tell her that he is going to have to put on my favourite shirt next time.... and then I think we will take a selfie together.

So did I mention that I misplaced a crap ton of pictures that I took in New York. Well I did ... so ... that's problematic. However now I just head over to google earth and solve that problem, then cruise into street mode, and whala ... I am again implanted into the New York scene. Very cool I will say.

Not too much is going on in this little land that I live in. Everyday that strikes me the garden is getting revamped. All of the tulips that showed such great potential at brewing actual flowers which had tons of foliage have burst through with FOUR WHOLE BLOOMS. The girl bows in front of the brilliance. OK seriously .. how EMBARRESSING!  That's alright .. May is just around the corner, and this means bigger more brilliant summer blooms .. so take that spring bulbs!

The sweet lovely girlie girl is heading off to Grad with a fellow in Grade 12. I think it's perfectly lovely that she is escorting him ... and now to get her OUTFITTED. Fortunately for me the TWO shopping loving CRAZED aunts have stepped up to the plate and are taking this girl preliminary grad dress shopping !! They actually head out on her 17th birthday overnight ... and I am hopeful they come home with grand almost grandness of a dress that will make her date for the night happy .. being that he is ultra fashionable. This is hilarious .. being that they are moms of icky BOYS ... and this girlie girl of mine is all fun with shopping and crazy aunts ALL THE TIME ! This will be us next year when it comes to a grad dress ... and ONE day a WEDDING DRESS ... oh what fun to dress the dolly ! And that this girlie girl is.

So ... today in the world of pictures ... things go like this: