Yesterday was a bit of a busy day. It was the PIP's birthday party... and I had to be all good and organized to run the birthday party on my lonesome.. although the stalker sister took the day off to help me... (so all good stalker sisters should I think).
Anyways... in an attempt to calm the little lady Pipster into a state of smiles and pleasantness we walked home from school. It isn't really a long walk, except for when it's raining... and then I do not walk, the walk is far too long on rainy days. I am sure the greatest fear is the fact I might melt while walking in the rain. I just know it. (In my mind this equates to: rain water=bad, hot showers = good.... I do not melt in hot showers, except for days when I am having a melt down in the shower, but that is purely only the days that I have drank way way way too much coffee, and I am synapsing a rate of 395 cajillion). We were just coming up on the home stretch yesterday, and about to pop out of the trail and onto our crescent.. when I saw it....
The FED-EX truck... parked along side of our driveway, and then a form jumping inside the truck. AAAAAhhhhhh! I yelled... (being the non regular of Fedex users.. I don't know that they DO deliver... even when you DO NOT open the front door....) so in a panicked state I told the Hamsterson to run... run down the other side of the street... run till you can't run anymore.. I quickly say to the non-panicked and withering from the early spring heat boy... RUN!!!!! Now that Hamsterson of mine... you can't rush him, he can't be rushed, he is unrushable. He pauses to pull off his "hobo" jacket (it's a blue fleecy.. that he wore last year, and I can't get him to discard the item.. so I figured if I started calling him a HOBO, he might want to give it up...to a hobo....), then after he has slowly pulled off his HOBO jacket, he then pauses to tie his shoelace, or wait, I have just been informed that he was doing a quick stretch before his "truck crescent challenge"... meanwhile the FedEx truck is now picking up speed on the other side of the street.... so now I "hiss" (OK.. I start to pray*) at the unrushable Hamsterson....."Jesus, just run Hamsterson... run.... catch up with the FedEx truck, hisssssssssssssss!" Then like a flash... he began to move, ok, almost like a flash, although I think the flash was window glare from the sun... but I could be mistaken. But, before we knew it Hamsterson was at the end of the crescent, and I can swear the Fed-Ex boys were now driving out the drive through at McDonalds.
Meanwhile... back on the homefront on the front steps... little lady Pipster had picked up a big brown package.... she began to yell. (Pip always yells)... which I try to ignore her... but it was at this point I spotted Pip yelling and carrying the package. I then called off the mad dart slash dash slash hustle slash spotted turtle race to a halt. I reeled in the Hamsterson. "CLEAR! I yelled, we've got the goods, come on home now son.. your job is done here....." Poor Hamsterson, he may be unreasonably unmissionable next time.
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