Note to self:

These are the reasons why I need to stop being a parade junkie:

1. I attract the freak shows.
2. Number one is the absolute truth.
3. All the freaks make it my way, and when one moves one, another shows up.
4. Freak show people amuse me, so it's kind of hard to concentrate on a parade.
5. No sooner did we pick a space along the street that was actually kind of a bus stop bench, but wasn't a bus stop - then a lady and her backet of "trinkets" asked to join us.
6. She was interesting. I liked the way she spoke and only her lips moved. Quite fascinating, and I was intrigued with her for the many hours that it took to watch the parade, and her.
7. Trinket ladies always have friends. ALWAYS.
8. I had the big target on my back when the bobbling headed "eight dollar an hour moving to Mission lady" showed up, and started chatting. Lucky me. She was also interested in the Vancouver Drill Team... except that she didn't take my word for it, and stepped out onto the road, and watched from the centre... then she decided that I needed to know from the centre of the road, and proceeded to yell over the crowds of people that were beginning to amass. Once again, lucky me.
9. Trinket lady and the bobbling headed "eight dollar an hour moving to Mission lady" began to exchange words. I thought trinkets and bobbly earrings were going to be tossed, but it was taken down a notch, when Trinket lady offered up a seat to the bobbling headed "eight dollar an hour moving to Mission lady". Which is the reason I know that fact about the "almost" Mission lady.
10. Benches are for sitting only. The Pip decided that she wanted to stand next to me at the parade. I was leaning on the "maybe a bus stop" bench, and then Pip stood behind and leaned to. There was a towel that was wrapped in a plastic bag which was left in the very location, where Pip was going to sit, when she made it back there. The bench had been soaked in wetness due to the pre-parade downpour. BUT.. as luck would have it... I came prepared with bags and towels. (horray!) But then... to ruin our fun......
11. Be watchful of bench seat thieves. First of all, I have to say, we got to the parade a tad bit early. Like an hour early. The parade didn't start until 11:00 (minus the exeption of the freak show happening all around me). But of course I had to be early to watch the Vancouver Drill Team... so we arrived nice and early.. at 10:00. Which is howcome we managed to scoop the "bench" seats. Along comes this girl... with an older woman. She decided that she would like Pip's spot on the bench. The Bench Thief Woman asked me for the spot... then I had to say that the Pip was sitting there, but for the moment, she was standing next to me. The next thing I know, the woman has got her leg up on the bench, and is leaning next to the Pip, crowding her into me. We are standing so smushed together, that the Pip can't make it back to her spot. Then the Bench Thief Woman leans sideways to grab at her 97 year old counterpart, and I "very gently" shove the Pip back to her bench location. I immediately turn my head to the right... as if I know nothing about what has just taken place. The woman scowled and scowled at me. My thoughts: save the scowl you idiot... if you knew you were coming to a parade, how about a little insight into the fact that the 97 year old counterpart might not want to stand and watch the entire gala event, and maybe bring along a chair... or how about... better yet... arrive early, like we did. JESUS! Eventually she moved on. (( Now before you go all nuts that I am a human hater.. I am not... I assessed the situation of the OK-maybe-she-isn't-97-years-old little lady... and if she really couldn't have been able to hold her own... I would have been able to tell... it's just the assuming of other's that really pisses me off... and by this point in the parade, there wasn't any more room to find a spot to watch the parade.. as we were now surrounded with people... so come on....!))
12. OH... then there was the Toonie Ticket Lady. I liked this part about her.. all sweet and smiles, and "would you like to buy a toonie ticket???"... to the crowd of us... and she didn't have any takers... BUT THEN.... she finds a friend to talk to. ... and in what other language does she decide to speak.. but "SUPER TRUCKER". OK, I know that I am the queen of the language arts department.. but I do not spew as this lady spewed... and when passer bys came her way... she oozed sweetness. Almost like soda pop with an extra three spoons of sugar added.
13. Of course I can not forgot the guy from "the shaver shop". He wins the award for every mother's nightmare of a "slimeball boyfriend tragedy". I pointed to him, and said to Pip, don't ever bring anyone like that around our house, K? I didn't tell her why, she just said, "K". Hopefully we are in full agreement on this level. he was creepy and slimey, and then to boot, he spit. Nice.
14. Aaahhh... lucky number 14... I should have written this paragraph on thirteen... and then forwardsd evil eyebrow karma thoughts to the sushi store owner ... she kicked the PIP out of the doorway of her "establishment", as it was only for customers. Of course on the way out the sushi store owner lady was confronted by the crazy mother of the PIP, and got an earful about being hugely unkind, and not letting a frightened girl wait for a lousy three minutes so the VERY LOUD canon to pass along on the parade route. And..... "shame on you for being so unkind". And then... Oh look, the restaurant is empty......."
15. And then of course, what's a parade without some very young teenage mom to have to watch her parent her little child. I was interested in her particulars, but I stayed silent. Which amazed me, as she proceeded to stand in front of us. All three of us that is... but we all stayed silent. Life must be hard enough for her. Now that I can tell.
16. The best is saved for last: this all could have been averted had I waited to watch it on the cable channel... this very evening, at 6:30. Silly me... I hope I remember this for next year.