Let's all be GAY.

I kid you not. Mind you, there would be none of us left, and it wouldn't be all that enjoyable.. but it's seems lovely to be gay. Things seem prettier when there is gayness involved. I am clearly of the opinion that whatever floats your boat... but this isn't my cruise ship of choice..all the same, I was intrigued by this mysterious life that lives on the surface in the daylight hours, but really unfolds after dark... and I knew I would be.

OK, the only reason I write this: because in my sheltered little suburban life I managed to find myself at a gay persons birthday bash down in the lovely partly richly part of Vancouver. I am certain that if I threw a similar bash, it would NOT have had the elegance, and perfection that this lovely birthday party permeated. I probably wouldn't have had the gay singer that impersonates females either... but he/she was definitely fun to watch. I was highly amused at the way he smacked his/her ass, then kicked his leg up, and continued to lip-sink.. and his nails looked good, I think... if you are in to claws. AND.. I loved the whole black waiters outfits, with the long black aprons that the server people wore. This was very impressive as well. I might get myself some... just to come and hang around the house on an evening kind of basis, and mix up some crantinis with a smile on their face... perahps they will serve some form of dinner as well. But, that is a rather gay thought..... not something that would happen in my suburban life.

Now... of course I had the time to people watch.. well, it was mostly man-watching that I did.. and I loved the amount of demonstrative activities that go on with this single sexed crowd. I never remember my Mr. Husbandman and myself wrapping our arms around one another so tight that I couldn't breathe.. and have a smile on my face. Interesting. I was never interested in running my fingers around his lips, while talking to another person to my left. Interesting. I don't remember when you had to bend over and swing your ass up and down to dance... I have such a bad memory. Wait.. this isn't a memory.. it was all new to me....I learned a lot last evening. But, all good things must come to an end, we had to leave... I am sure it was far too early for the real festivities and gayness... but then... there was already so much gayness going on.. I am not sure what I had already missed, or was going to miss.

All the same.. it was a great evening. OH, and the big fireworks that happen in Vancouver, and draw about 350, 000+ people down to the shorelines, rooftops, balconies, boats, planes and buses .. happened just beyond the house... behind the lovely trees. I missed sparks flying there as well.

Hula Hula

Lady Pipenza doing a little pre-party hula-ing.

So far today:

1. The hair is still bad.
2. Two cups of tea have cured the allergy head that exists in me.
3. There are no voices coming from my back yard.
4. The idiot dogs are still sleeping, or their robots have not let them out for the day.
5. My little catdog is busy checking the perimeters of the yard, as I can hear her little tinkling (as in collar) and then coming back to the back porch where she sits because she thinks that there is a door in her way so she can not enter. She is the blond of the dog world.
6. The crows have so far been surely annoying someone else in the city, as they are not here this morning annoying me.
7. The chicklets have remained horizontal. I spoke too soon.
8. First word out of Pips mouth, was cupcake.. and that wasn't a nickname for her cat... that's apparently breakfast this morning.
9. I should be more obsessive about the things that are floating on my kitchen table.. as in the lady Pip's scrapbooking stuff.. it's still there from yesterday..
10. I need to rescue my forgetful little catdog that she has already done a perimeter check of the yard at least 7 times now, she can quit.. and have a rest in her lawnchair.
11. As a defect in the personality I will add an 11th bit, not because I have anything to say, but rather to end on an odd number, which represents my personality, as well as tempt my almost obsession of having to end on the number ten. he he he he he he he he. Now I am off to make noise.

My hearse has to have roof racks:

These are going to have to come with me

Looking forward to .....

1. Tomorrow I will have a way better hair day... I didn't even try today.. it was just bad, I tied it back in a stupid backwards pony tail bun thing... it was just silly and sillier. Oh yuck. Tomorrow there is bound to be an abundance of bizarre frizz and curls to look forward too. I believe that my hair is still in camping shock.... and is treating me badly right now.
2. Tomorrow I might put my vacuum cleaner back together... I chucked a quarter down the moveable hosey thing... the quarter stopped just far enough down so when I pushed down my long skinny umbrella down the hosey thing..... the blockage was just beyond the reach. Is there such a thing as draino for vacuum hoses? Good lord... I might just have to get out the broom.
3. Tomorrow will have to be a Tim Horton's morning... I am out of coffee, and out of cream. The chicklets don't know what they are in for.... we can walk there.
4. Tomorrow we may even see more bears than we saw tonight. It's great fun to hang out at the blueberry patch.
5. Tomorrow the ratty teenage kid will have fallen off his dirtbike and be brain injured so he wont be able to ride around and scare the bears from the blueberry fields. Loser.
6. Tomorrow I think I will chop down all the shrubs in front of the front window... oh, that is I am guessing that I have a front window.... although it makes for great spying on the neighbours.
7. Tomorrow I will check to see how many more people that I have to wait on before I get some books from the library. I may have to just go and purchase them...this waiting shit, is just that ... shit... coming from someone who doesn't do line-ups. I might have waited in a line-up mind you to purchase the pink flip flops that are now planted out back on the ugly deck portion of the yard. Luckily... I have given the King a great idea on how to expand the ugly deck.. to make it bigger.. and better... with those pink flip flops hanging out... nothing could go wrong. Unless he broke one.. and then he would surely have to leave.
8. Tomorrow I will surely take all the pictures to the film developing people. I tried doing this yesterday.. but forgot the mega disk of my pictures... therefore everyone suffered along with me.. nobody was able to get their pictures developed. I will need to take out shares in photo paper.
9. Tomorrow I will witness the absolute miracle of the lady Pipster picking up all her cars from the front room... surely I witness this.....because I will not stop asking her this until the absoluate miracle has been performed.
10. Tomorrow I will not come up with a list such as this. I will be on a totally different tangent, at least I am hoping to be..... just guessing for tomorrows list...

All the things that go on....

I have many ideas to present... but now is not the time. The King is busy speaking.. I must go listen.. I am certain today that he has more things to say. Major problem being.. I have only got one cider.. and I drank it. I will hide his tape measure... certainly that will keep things down to a dull roar. This is a time when I wished I stocked ice and coke in this house... margaritas or rum and cokes.... certainly something that would have been nice to give to a guest as well... oh well, it must wait.. the King just continues to speak.... and BBQ.

Glip, glub and gag.

This is the truth that I speak. There are such things as glippiness and glubness... and it makes you gag. Well, it makes me gag at least.

A long time ago, in a memory that is almost as far as the galaxy to the left.. I remember a segment of my life that was spent in the school cafeteria. It involved french fries. And vinegar. It is in this space and time that the word GLIP came to my lips... as I split the small packet open and poured what was supposed to be clear fluid across the french fries...rather, in horror I watched this conjealed clear mass escape the opening. It glipped across the fries, in one long string... and there it sat... a mound of glippiness glistening in it's new found freedom. I sat there in shock and revoltedness, as this mass stared back at me. This was my first introduction into the known fact "Glip Happens".

That thought takes me to my next set of circumstances... kleenexes can not do the job that a paper towel can. I will go know further on that glubberish talk.

This brings me to this morning, and all the glubberish details of life. I can not believe that my not-outdated-cream gave out on me. I watched the white bubbly mass glub it's way into my steaming hot cup of coffee, in my favourite snowman cup.. in fact, it took on the same image as my snowman. How is it possible that cream can go glubberish.. if I didn't know any better.. I think it might have even glipped.

So.. who feels like a glip, glub or gag?

Love thy master.

Little Miss Ellpee busy panicking that the boys are doing toolish-man things down there... Mr. Husbandman turned to talk to her... check the tail, now that's devotion. She's a freak.

And away we go..

Right now, at this not so early hour of the morning, but clearly before school hours would have began, so that must qualify for something... I am here with the back doors open. It's the oddest thing. I can hear voices.

This isn't a mystery novel that I am sporting here this morning... it's the actual real-life factual truth that I am typing out. The voices I am hearing are coming from behind the fence... but I am unsure as to what direction. The reason that I write this... is because the only thing that we can generally hear are the idiot dogs barking.. I don't believe that actual humans live in that home, but robots that work on remote controls that only let their dogs in and out at certain times of the day... sunrise and sunset. I am so not used to hearing voices coming from the backyard, (except mine that tends to ECHO the chicklets names some days....) I believe that there are visitors back their... it's a good thing I don't ... I just tried to put cream in my coffee, and the not-out-dated-cream plunked into the fine black hot liquid...it's a good thing that I make coffee with my eyes open. Anyways.... even the little idiotic Elpster is moving her head in odd directions.... looking for these voices. Now she is doing a perimeter run, just to confirm her senses are correct. I will have to go and tell the crazy dog that it's actual people actually existing beyond the scope of our backyard. Even I am having a hard time with this. Real life drama here this morning. My bad hair, and unlipsticked face will be only a memory now... it's all proper dress for me from here on out... those voices back there also carry a set of eyes. I am so not used to this.

And still drinking:

Well, now I have moved on to plants... and they are busy drinking up all the fine water they can slurp up. One pot of plants got nothing. Not because I do not like this particular pot.. it just got over done in the water department, and now has a temporary aversion to it.. so I can tell by it's ugliness. I am in the process of unuglying this particular pot back to it's original state of prettiness... but that should take a day or two. My free plants that were ugly until I got them, and started giving them plant food are doing quite nice... especially since I had to pay ten bucks for the pot to put them in.

I myself have moved onto lemonade.. in the crystal form... I couldn't actually buy lemons, and chop them and stuff them in water... that would be so cleansing and good for the system... I am going with the preservatives.. it will probably extend my life for about 3 extra hours this way. Speaking of preserving lives, and needing watering... I am getting a very pleasant view of the workboys across the street... except they are not work boys.. this is the neighbour man (a better version of the lovely and handsome Ken doll), mixing and pouring concrete for his new front steps. Drag... he has just put his shirt back on. Shows over. Actually, it will be over soon anyways... they are moving... their house goes on the market in 2 weeks.. and it will be gone, and so will the picture show. Must continue my viewing pleasure while I can. I need a drink!

This is different

For some reason this very morning.. I have woken up and started drinking. Yes, yes I have... I have already two drinks.. of After Eight hot chocolate stuff. I am puzzled as to howcome my Tim Horton's coffee is still in the can, and the coffee maker sits idle.

In other things that are different:

We got an invitation to a party /BBQ on Saturday, we actually got two. The first invitation came in the form of a postcard.. and it almost looked some kind of coupon for some place that wants our money for something or other. I almost threw it away... when all of a sudden I looked at the highly grained cartooned photo of the persons face... it was Mr. Husbandmands friend that he has had since Kindergarten. We never see him. NEVER. Great guy, great catch, perfect gentlemen, thoughtful, plays the piano (played for our wedding), very sharp and quick witted. Any person would love him, so does his boyfriend. THAT'S why we never see him. He lives downtown and does downtown life things... we live in the boring little suburbs and have lengthy conversations into the night about tape measures and countertop heights. I should have fun people watching on Saturday evening.

The second invitation that we got... simple and straight foward... no fancy type or pictures. An email in regular black font: We're having a BBQ, bring your slab of meat and drink, and we'll hang out. We should all be so gay in life.

Speaking out loud

An odd thing happened last night. Mr. Husbandman spoke up.. all on his own accord. It had nothing to do with me. First of all he went looking for our neighbours down the street THE PICKASPATS to talk to... of course it was all about his favourite subject.. windows, but I was impressed that off we he went... looking to talk to someone. Then when that failed, as they were not home.. he came home and proceeded to talk to me... Mr. Husbandmanmotormouth. Included in all of his talking were drawings of the new kitchen that he has designed. This was accompanied by the potential people that we would have to hire along the way to do SOME of the kitchen renos, but then there were the reasons given to justify these people doing some of the renos, he wasn't slacking off on this one... and on and on..... He just kept talking and talking and talking and talking and talking. Although.. I have decided.. talking to him just costs money.. and more money. Him and his big ideas.. that I know that he will follow through with, by the end of the night I had already racked up so much cash spent, I had to call it quits. OK, and this is the secret of the day... when it got to be 11:30 into the evening... I called it a day.... and I politely slipped away.... from him and his plans and his ideas and his measuring tape. I believe I was in shock. This man really does speak. The Pickaspats should be thankful they were not at home last night... so lucky I say!

Late in the evening...

Late in the evening,
and all the books are read,
nothing more to do...
other than make the children go to bed.

All I have done all day...
is sing a single little tune
I have done a wee bit more...
Rather than dispell myself as a loon.

It goes something like this,
a fairly simple song,
the words are fairly easy,
and it isn't very long....

One container, two container,
three container four.....
all the laundry is done,
and there isn't any more!

Wash it and dry it
and fold it with care
stack it in a pile
except for the underwear

Now the day is done,
and all the laundry has been groped
As I worry for tomorrow's load...
as now I am out of soap.

I need some detangling here

Well.... I have found what I think I might be looking for.... of course I am not sure about that. The facts are revealing themselves slowly... almost painfully. I am puzzling through the pieces of information, and trying to come up with a best case scenario that will work for the little family.

I have managed to find a Rec. Therapy position that is only 4 hours a day. .... from 0930 - 1330, it's chicklet friendly.. as in no before or after school care required. It sounds very pleasant... I think it might be very pleasant.... it would be perfectly pleasant... I am having a hard time giving up 18 years of seniority... for this perfect pleasantness. I am wondering why I am so hesitant?

I know for one, it has something to do with a superson that has braces attached to his teeth... and my benefits are attached to those braces ..... what to do what to do.....

Another book, that's all.

Perhaps when I am feeling brave of heart, I will add a link section... in the meantime, this will serve as a reminder for me as to what I have read... because I do not want to take a book out of library, read 2 1/2 chapters... and then realize that YES DEANNA... you have read this book.

This will aid me....

In keeping track of what I have read.

The Santa Claus and the Campsite

It pays off having the Santa Claus of camping make the camping list. There's none of that hitting the forehead and screeching "OMG I wish I would have packed that!". There is none of that talk or incidence that emerge across the camping horizon.
None.
IT GETS BETTER.
The Santa Claus can morph himself in King Camper. Really and truely.... before your very eyes. My sole role for the camping adventure was to wipe Pip's tears away (which luckily only happened once a day for brief moments of Pipness, and then it was done, my job over), read my book, and try and come up with four letter words for my crosswords. King Camper took it upon himself to conduct himself according to his campsite laws that he had made for himself... and that was to busy himself with all the details of the day, including doing the dishes of all the meals that he had made, then.. hanging up the dish towels to dry. If I had been a very smart observer I would have taken notes of all his devilish deeds of camping desires, and reproduced them here .......and then all of you would become great campers safe with the knowledge of the secrets to king camping abilities. There was only a slip up once... when I started to dry the 2 cups and 3 forks in the camping adventure... King Camper froze in his tracks, and almost started to convulse... I backed away from the precisely placed dishrack, and picked up my book.. and life returned to regular campsitedness from that point on. It was a close call, I almost got given my walking papers. Good thing... I got kinda lost in the campsite... 3 1/2 hours from home.

I am still good for something... The Queen of the camera. I managed to take 170 pictures while we were gone. King Camper.. his hands never even touched the little device. I have rules too.

The Loons of Loon Lake:

The King is out on that ski-doo raft and the ever watchful Ellpee kept a close eye on him. She spent the weekend sitting in this boat, she thought she was on a cruise apparently. The chicklets found a moment to pose for the camera, and then continued on with their Loon Festival.

Just while my back is turned

Things go on all the time..... but life gets in the way of noticing some adventures that should stand out and be noticed.

So, while I was out.. some minor things went on..... of course worthy to be noted here, but not worthy for a lights and cameras....

It has been six months since Rusty (actually Russ/my dad) has left this worldy place. In that amount of time I have made up my mind that spirits are left on this earth, even if the person that resides in them haven't. He has been to visit my uncle, (his brother) and has made his presence known at my parents home. Really. Seriously. Well, it's just what I believe. Anyways... the funeral people call my mom last week, and tell her it's been 6 months, can you come and get him. (I did make the attempt to try and pick him up a number of months ago... and somehow the lady at the funeral home thought I was just crazy enough... so Russ remained sitting on a shelf for a while longer..... she didn't think that riding around in the back of my 15 year old SUV would be a safe spot for him... little did she realize that he would have been happy a clam to be out driving around the country side!)... anyways, my mom did the deed. The first place she put him... in the back of her way newer SUV... and took him for a ride. Then, all in a flutter.. because she couldn't just take him home... she headed to Costco, which he used to love to wander around in (which is rather funny, because this man hated shopping of any sorts)... and she bought stuff. She then drove him home, and took him out to his shed with the lettering (R-horseshoe-M = RUM shack) and put him in a shelf with his drill bits, empty mickey bottles & cigarette packages. So.. not only now can he haunt his shed, but he has taken up a permanent (semi) residence their once again.

In other things that are of less importance, but worthy of a mention: I found a job that seemed suitable in the paper for me. I faxed off a resume.. without really thinking about it... and then we left on our "Tour de BC".... and the people from the place where my resume has landed... have been calling me ever since. My first impression of the messages left by the people that are only temporarily stalking me... they sound happy, and I am not certain if it is drug induced. I need to investigate their happiness.....it gives me reason to pause for interpretation.

Now.. back to my regular life... speaking of spirits and happy people... the laundry fairy is calling me.

A return to real life...

Mission Accomplished: Everybody status quo. The King is still very kingly, the children, still childish, Ellpee is still an uptight psychotic mess, and me, still thankful that I am not interested in those real-life adventures "Quest for the Simple Life". I like showers, toasters, microwaves and hair products.
Moose sighting successful. Here... have a look.