ouch

I have a super sonic impossibly inhumane gargantuan tremendously huge freakin beyond belief to the moon and past it then back again gigantic HEAD ACHE. Yes, I do.

I did something totally weird today.... I carried a big big umbrella around in the boiling heat. Yes some of YOU BC'ers will laugh... and laugh heartily... because yes, I admit I used a big big umbrella in the boiling heat. Why........ for no reason now..... see the above comment... which is what I was trying to avoid... by using the big big umbrella.

We went to the Vancouver Zoo.... where I know it was hot.. and I just don't do hats... hats make my hair flat..........I'd rather carry a big big umbrella... you stand out that way... some people even told me that I was smart... I don't know.... instant shade.... I think one lady really wanted to take it, (her eyes were pretty bugged out.. and her hands were reaching their way over).... and a cover for your head when you watch the birds of prey show.. and they swoop practically right on your head......

Weirdness counts in this world....more people will talk about the crazy lady with the big big umbrella than the lady with the pink backpack... (me as well)... but I had to icepacks sitting right at the back of it.... so it was a refreshing carrying device....

That's it for me... more stories to type....but can't.. I will go and find my peppermint stick to roll on my neck... and then of course go and find some drugs.... my next motto in life is definitely "living better through pharmaceuticals" : ) : )

Save-on-Daughters

You know I have been looking at Maggiezfarm the last couple of days... I like her pictures of her sunrises and sunsets. Magical, mysterious, magnificent... and I am thinking that I need to send my 7 year-old-princess-doll-Pipster-way-to-mouthy-and-not-yet-learning-that-she-needs-to-be-polite-at-all-times to go and have a little sebaticle at Maggiezfarm. Besides Miss Pip looked at the pictures.. and she quite liked them. She asked me if we could take some pictures similar to those..... it didn't take me long to get me thinking..... Would you like to go their sweet heart... for a little nice vacation... would ya... I know you would... off you go now... where all the colours are pretty... sweet little girl..... SO THAT YOUR MOTHER DOESN'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THE NONE STOP ASKING FOR THINGS EVERY TIME WE LEAVE THE HOUSE.... you have a good time at Maggiezfarm.. don't forget to take lots of pictures... and don't worry about your plane ticket home... I will eventually get around to purchasing it... really little princess.... well maybe little princess.... I hope to get around to it... that's if I write it down or something.... or, if one of your friends asked why you haven't returned from your extended vacation.... or........maybe if daddy wonders why your room has remained clean for an extended period of time... like a week or two.... and this is how the story started....
The girl is going to a scrapbooking adventure which she is quite excited about. I bought her a disposable camera so she could scrapbook up some of her "Pip Pic's"...... things were good the first time we went to save-on-foods as we dropped the film off... but then later on... we needed to pick the film up... which required standing at checkout counters... with many many things to be bought... or in the pips case to be drooled over and enticed by. WE had a couple other grocery items to pick up... and then she starts.... can I have this, can I have this, can I have this, what about this, what about this, what about this.. I like this, I like this, I like this, I like this........I give her her pictures... I point, go stand over their.. hopefully someone will take you.............and off she goes. I take my bags, my Mr Archie-comic son and one demon home. From the back seat, she begins to hiss about things... whatever is on her mind... and that's when she was hit with a piece of my mind..... unfair fight.. too bad so sad.. I'm the Mommy. (at this point my philosphy for her was you get what you give.... and I gave it to her... thankfully that shut her up). Until it came to dinner.....once again... the demon approached the table dressed as a Pipster... very quickly the demon was commanded to leave the table to go to it's room... to come back as the Pipster. Eventually the Pip emerged from her littly tidy haven called a bedroom..... and I decided that I liked her again.... we both decided to go bear watching. Good show tonight... spotted a MaMa with her two cubs..... cool, cool, cool. You know, come to think of it... how do mother bears tell their youngster to hit the road.. don't they just kind of roar at them... and scare them off a bit..... similar to my tactics of the day.... so now I own a demon-bear????? ha ha ha !

If everyone's page could sit on Blogs of Note.....

I found this on someones site.... she will be added to my sidebar..... anyone that can spread these words of wisdom need to be put in side bars.... like I wrote... if people could just sit in blog's of note for a day... can you imagine the impact?

What is that?

It's quite late at night as I gaze at this screen
Taking a quick tour of my favourite blogs that are green...
My friend finds me awake, and we chat for a little online
We eventually agree that it really should be someones bedtime.
As I reach for my mouse to say good night....
I hear a small sound... which gave me a small fright..
What is that sound I say as I strain to hear...
Will it happen again, is it from far or is it near...
It certainly isn't the snoring that come in waves from down the hall...
It seems to be coming from just the other side of this wall....
With an imagination as big as the sky
Thoughts of weird creatures make their way past my eyes..
I blink my eyes hard, and shake those images from my head..
It is really late, and I should really go to bed.
I wait for the sound to happen again,
My eyes spot the clock and now it's 2:10
Enough is enough, this is the end of that sound
No more sitting a waiting, no more horsing around.
Finally it comes to me, I know what I am hearing....
It's LP, our german shepherd, in her wicker basket she is stirring.
With a quick click of the mouse, to disconnect and say bye.
Now I will go, and get some shut eye.

Always looking for something...

I am, right now..(self-imposed).... supposed to putting together a very powerful resume. Clearly that doesn't interest me... in the slighest... at all......what I should be doing is plucking my way through the thesaurus pulling out words that might describe who I am, my accomplishments, intriguing eye catching words that would make these people (aka the employer) feel like they have been missing out... for a real long time... but no... I am here... checking out my green bloggers of the world list... and looking for ways to make changes... to my blog... not to my person or my resume. I know myself... (because I have looked in the mirror a couple of times... ) and I will get up tomorrow morning and begin to throw words all over my current resume.... print and print and print... Oh, of course I will hiss and swear and his and swear, and probably slam some paper around, drink way too much coffee... be interrupted 39 times..and go to the bathroom twice... all of these tactics will work... after all, I am working with a computer... so, on that note... I will continue on my peaceful meandurings of blogging entertainment.. to await the torture that I will put myself through tomorrow morning....no side smile included with this one.

oh no...

A couple of points from the day:

1. The girl has decided that her bathing suit is her active wear. Should I be frightened by that?
2. My children both now have those spinning toothbrushes (fresh out of the cereal boxes) that clean their teeth all sparkly and smooth..... now I can stare at their sweet little smiles and actually be happy at looking at their teeth, not the leftover yellowy junk from last weeks pizza party.... eeeeewwwwwwweeeeeeeeee !!!!
3. My hair is the same colour today.... once again I have coloured it with fade resistant permanent colour..... I wonder if this box is going to be another lying liar cardboard smiling liar girl with a different hair product plastered on her head.... will be able to tell you tomorrow.... that's if I feeling like washing my hair... it might be nice to have the same hair colour for two days in row..... something about that consistancy thing that I can't seem to get over.
4. The girls bedroom is clean... and I had nothing to do with it... how many side smiles can I fit on this page anyways.... :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)
5. I have another tomato that is ripening... I am wondering if I will get to it, before the evil queen Cicely the tomato eating dog sniffs it out and eats it. She has eaten all of them so far. That would be the reason why I quit growing cucumbers, strawberries and zuchinni. I think the actual problem here is that she doesn't know that she's a dog... and "Dog's eat dog food".... she doesn't know that. I have to admit... the corn on the cob hasn't peaked her interest. Oh, but of course the pumpkins are kind of neat... just when you have lost all of the tennis balls in the yard.. she can wander over and pick herself a new ball.
6. I see the girl making her way home from her friends house... I will have to go.... I am sure she will need to be driven to see the bears.... I can just hear her now.....

OH... I forgot something....

Last week I was going to clean the girls room. I never accomplished that task.... similar to climbing mountain everest... something that you don't just jump into, or take lightly.. there is much preparation for this kind of adventure. Sponsors and support systems need to be in place, determining your climbing course, preparing your climbing team and fine tuning plans. I had not completed all these tasks prior to the date of clean-up, hence the operation was shut down. Gladly to be taken over by:
Mr husbandcleanuptheroonanddoareallyreallygoodjobrightdowntothebitterend.
Once again, I am glad to be at work today... where nobody knows where I am. ....
I feel that beautiful side smile sneaking up again !! :) :) :) :) :)

I am not getting it...

The blogger world just doesn't remember me... every time I sign in... I hit the "remember me" button which prooves to be useless. It doesn't know I exist... then..... While I am at work, the second I walk away.... "is Deanna here"?? I HAVE BEEN HERE ALL DAY !!!!! I am always here... here I am here I am here I am.... hopefully someone or something will remember.
But, what I do know is that my cleaning friends wont be coming over tomorrow... only because Mr Superkitchencleaninghomecleaningtidymanhusband has been home for the last two days... so that little 1350 square foot house of mine will sparkle. I like being at work, where nobody knows I'm here... yes, that brings a side smile to my face really fast :) :) :) :)

I dislike the Superstore except....

AAAHHH !!!!! I just so much dislike the Superstore... I like to call it the Stupidstore... it's stupid. And don't worry about investigating that accusation... it's all true. EXCEPT... when you run into a long-lost friend.. and then stand and talk to her for one and a half hours in an isle. Then it's not so stupid... it's a Longlost Store. The whole reason I spied her was the fact that I couldn't stand looking through racks of kids sale clothes... I can't stand that kind of stuff... so I decided to go and look for some scrapbooking junk... that's when I spied this girl with even brown coloured hair that was nicely parted on the sides.. and that's when we looked at one another... and it was al over for that isle for a while !!! I am so glad she commented about how I hadn't changed...(well she was wearing glasses.. so I will cut her some slack.. after all.. I do have the rainbow effect happening on my hair again, hence the reason I was admiring her one-coloured deep brown hair)... and I know I didn't have the rainbow-effect when I last saw her !!! Seeing her made my day!!!! But then again.. winning the $29 million from the lotto 649 would make me happier...... so for the time being she has made my day...

A day at the beach..

My sister tells me to be ready at 0915 SHARP. There's no pissing around with the sis... she's doing the driving... so we better be ready.. that is until we get the phone call from the time announcer.. that she will be late. CRAP!!!! I was right on the moola with the whole time constraint.. I had the two people ready and raring to go... stuff packed.. and she is already screwing with the plans.. without further delay we make it to the beach.. it is really cloudy afterall.... great day to spend at the beach... and it's nice and windy to boot. Even more special. "Can I borrow you Parka???" I asked the Late-Sis. An unevenful day... I like those kinds... no blood, no guts.. no stories to come home with...... other than I was insistant that I wanted to watch the tide come in ... it is kind of freaky to be caught out on the sandbars as the tide comes in... kind of "Chitty-Chitty Bang-bangish"... only in real life !!!! anyways... the Late-sis youngest boys decides he needs to go the bathroom... I decide that I will go with him since I was practically going to pee my pants myself....well that only took three hours too long.. we get back.. when did the tide come in????... I ask...so, now we are cleaning up from our excursion... that's nice... I realize... I guess I put on that sunscreen a little bit too late..... I didn't' think I had that much sun... apparently I did... glad I put it on when I did... today at work.. people were asking me where I had been... (It's been very cloudy here for the past 5 days.... so it's clear to me that nobody knows about our secret beach.....)... as I radiate today under the flourescent lights... what a pretty sight!!!! Even the Pip managed to contain herself yesterday... well that was until we got home.. and had to shower and bathe the beastly child and apply thirteen dozen different creams and lotions and powders for all of her week-long-acquired-ailments... I even managed to shampoo her wack of sea-smelling hair. Yesterday was a good day...

Dont fall off your seats....

I want to know how it is that you can be late for work... when all you have to do is get yourself to work... that's it.. no making lunches, doing hair of blond Pipsters.. no waking up very tired boys, no putting in a load of laundry before you go off to work... no dropping off children somewhere to be looked after for the day... why is it that you can't get yourself to work on time??? Just a curiosity of mine.. it doesn't matter really...nobody notices if I'm not their on time anyways.. they will notice eventually when they have to start doing my work....this post is dedicated to LUJZA.

Me! Are you talking about me???!!!!

I can't believe it's Friday... where did yesterday go... I didn't write anything... which does not equate to "I didn't have anything to say."... because that just wouldn't happen to me. I have lots to say, lots to report... I just didn't FEEL like it. If you don't FEEL the moment, it just doesn't happen...
what I felt like doing was being a Lounge Lizard. Yes, say it again... Lounge Lizard.. let those l's roll off your tongue.. and feel what it would be like to sitting back in a comfortable suit, drinking a grenedine stained umbrella drink, eyes criss-crossing across the bar, watching the comings and goings of the people around you... all the while.. listening to hit songs from the days before you were born. Yes, that was the persona that I took on last evening.... playing my digital piano (with earphones). Yes, just me and my Reader's Digest Book of Big Hits....you know, I sounded great... because the only one hearing it was me... similar to singing in the shower...I even took requests from my imaginary audience.... "aaaawwww... look at the happy couple... this song goes out to them"..... Smoke Get's In Your Eyes... bumbled from my fingertips......" everyone look over their.. check out that smile".... as Mona Lisa burped it's way onto the keyboard......I livened up the group with my "Midnight Special" which is crusing along just nicely.. and writing of crusing...... "Cruising Down the River".. managed to make a half-assed appearance across the keyboard as well. Not to be outdone by Sir Elton John and his Candle in the Wind.............so a little glimpse into my life..... until our friends came along around 10:00 last night and delivered me and Mr Cleankitchen-husband-man some VANILLA COKE (DIET FOR ME.. MORE CHEMICALS FOR ME... I MIGHT LIVE LONGER !!!!). Oh how I love Vanilla Diet Coke from the woman who is drinking a Extra Hard Cider Pineapple-Guava flavour at this exact moment !!!! So, just to keep my blogging friends happy (Lujza), I will write another post. Stay tuned... for those that care to stay tuned (Lujza).

Humpty Dumpty is still broken, but I'm not !

The little green blog sat on the computer screen

The little green blog was erased and would never be seen

With all the queens brain cells, and her infinate ways

She managed to put her blog back together in one day.

type type type type type type type

lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick stop it lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick stop it lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick STOP IT lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick STOP IT lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick lick

STOP IT ! STOP IT ! STOP IT! STOP IT!

Freaking dogs,

licking her paws,

If I didn't love her so much,

I would really hate dogs.



And that's my thought for the day.

It's not a nightmare, it's a ............

BLOGMARE !!!!!
Today is the day that it rained down on me
Little did I know it would bring me no glee,
For today is the day that I thought the rain would be good
To keep our world green, and that it would.....
Today is the day that on a whim
I pressed a key which made me quite grim
Today is the day that with all my finessing
Left me with lots of green, and a whole lot of guessing
Today is the day that I lost my gadgets, buttons and lists
Where will I retrieve them, who will I remember and who will I miss??
Today is the day that a fright made a dare......
To turn my regular day into a living blogmare.

Get on with it!!!!!!

I have no patience... I have none... not sure why.. I just don't have any... I've been through this before.. won't write about it again...anyways....
I am reading my "favourites" list.... my private little stash of bloggy things to read about... and people don't post.. how can you not post... for many many days... now I am kind of crazy over this. Not kind of... there's no half-way with me.... it's all the way baby !!!! I love to read peoples thoughts, their doings, their inner selves exposed to a world where the colours pink and blush have no meaning here !!!!! I am a people watcher... therefore I am a reader... and I want to read !!!! People give me something to read !!!! Oh, and of course thank you to those that give me something to read.... you know... because I have left you a comment.... !!!!!
So... back to the business of the day... Miss Pipster and I took two trips down to "Bear Alley"... we saw some huge one walking out in the blueberry fields... and then I drove down the "authorized vehicles only" lane.. and showed her the incident spot... (and to see if we could salvage any left over skin... she's lacking still....) then I showed her where the bears were... she said she was glad I made her hurry in all her screamingness... !!!! WE went back later tonight.. and then cruised some little dead end streets way up on the mountain.. and sure enough... just take a guess what popped out of the bushes... just guess.. really.. guess........ A BEAR. So we cruise down the hill quietly... and she once again wanted to sit up on the roof through the sunroof... crazy kid... we get up nice and close ... and the little guy is just standing their.. eating berries... enjoying an evening snack... when he realizes we are there... he high-tales it back into the bushes. Once again.. it was great seeing another bear !!!!
Believe it or not, we live in a subdivision... which is close to the base of a mountain, that is attached to many dykes.. and agricultural land reserve, and acres of blueberry farms, which is right next to the dykes.. which is right next to miles and miles of wilderness.. hence the bear issue. I love it.. wouldn't change it.... except of course one night when ONE made their way into my front yard and stole my apples.... not nice... !!!

My thought of the day... keep clicking till it hurts, eventually you will become numb.

Would a hammer and a bandaid really help???

Today so far there is nothing to write about. Even the weather is easy to figure out. It's raining. And it's sunny. It all makes sense.
The girl is loaded with Polysporin in numerous locations. I have managed to deny access to the bandage box in an effort to have her remain in a moveable state. Otherwise she would have so many bandaids wrapped around her I would be calling her "Mommy". She does have one bandaid on... in fact she has a strip attached to her that I can't remove... I am actually wondering, how long does a bandaid stick before it unsticks... luckily it isn't covering the part of her arm (outer layer of skin) this is actually missing. That is where their is a bandaid... covering what isn't their anyways. That location doesnt have polysporin. Antibiotic ointment their... only because I couldn't get any of the dirt off from the "splat-attack where bears stare" took place.

WE were doing their school work this morning.... the Pip managed to do some... or should that be "sum"... kind of impressed,"little-miss-impossible" was quite happy to sit and learn some numbers...The boy on the other hand.... I'm trying to get him to learn his times tables... so how many times will I need to ask him the same question before he remembers.....because I have asked him close 357 trillion times his two times tables... and the lightbulb is still just kind of flickering......BUT ....you let that boy hear someones "accent" for a split second, or quote a punch line from a joke that you heard 13 days ago... and he's got it all going on. I think it's getting close to hammer time. Ha!

This is the bravest little girl in the world ! 

Today was scarey afterall:

So, my ambition for the day was to clean the Pip's room. This isn't just a room... it's a trap, a jungle, a mecca of intricate designs & sticky of trickery consisting of barbies & little things... and more little pieces that go with the little things, then of course their's her other "stuff".
Cleaning her home requires patience, know-how, drive, willingness, obsessive-compulsive behaviours, 13 garbage bags, a good memory and an organized brain. The pipster doesn't possess any of these qualities. NONE, can't find them anywhere..... they're not even lost in her room.
Instead of cleaning on this beautiful day, the girl and I ventured out for a bikeride... (I can live with that room like that for a couple more hours). Everything was happening along fine.... well except the fact that we rode to far... kind of into bear territory... but I didn't want to go back... through the bear territory either... hmmm... anyways... we were just turning the corner, and found pavement... when the Pipster flies through the air... and then skids down a little hill. SCREAM ! Scream, scream, scream.................. shit I would have been screaming too. I pull out my nice and wet washcloth... and the water bottle, and the bandaids... I was going to start piecing the girl back together. ... Pip... get on your bike and ride little lady.... there's bears.... a mama and two babies... just ride little girl.... and THEN I STARTED TALKING REALLY REALLY LOUD... AND KEPT ON TALKING AND TALKING.. AND WHERE THE HELL IS EVERYONE TODAY.. DON'T THEY KNOW IT'S SUNDAY... AND PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS AROUND HERE ON SUNDAYS..........that girl is amazing... battered and bloodied and hurt... and we just kept going.. she wasn't willing to stop... anywhere.... well, until we were just about up the a corner... when out walked another bear... shit again... we got off our bikes.. and walked backwards.....we made it down to someones driveway and stood their. In the distance I could see more bikeriders.....there were three of them... a woman, her daughter... and a guy.... "you might want to wait for a minute... there's a bear just at the edge of the ditch".... the mom and girl stop... the guy keeps riding.... he slows then turns around... did you say a bear.... "Thanks for putting on those listening ears" I said to him... kind of rude.. but I was kind of still in a tizzy from our encounter just five minutes before. The five of us stopped their, a car had been sitting at the side of the road...he had put his hazards on... finally he left... we all proceeded together as a group. The guy offered to go first... and I'll have to admit.. not a talkative bunch... idiots! The mother rode ahead of her daughter... and yet I rode behind mine.... (my theory being that I COULD SEE if the girl turned into bearbait... not just hear the after-effects!).... I kept on talking.... and talking... they remained silent.. Nice... real nice people.. nothing like SNEAKING UP ON A BEAR !!!!!.........anyways, I am still typing so you know the and of the story... but do you........ way later on... after Pip had had a chance to put 5 washclothes all over her wounds to let them rinse.. and one bandaid (and I am not certain how I will be getting it off)... to cover her roadrash... we DROVE back to the park. Again, we managed to spot another bear wander across the road... and this time Pip sat up on top of truck's sunroof... and watched it eat blueberries. Fun stuff... glad we can talk about it.

Today is a scary day...

I am not feeling good today... I am very frightened... there is tension in my fingertips.. I keep passing hot thru cold.... then I sigh. This is the day... that I have been dreading for some weeks, and I knew it was coming... I kept waiting and watching, and watching and waiting... every day I knew it was one day closer. Why does this day have to be here... can't we just skip at it... and move on to tomorrow.. I wont miss today... I have nervous ripped from my head to my toes... even my hair is nervous... because it has a very different wave in it today. I have pangs of dread coming up through my stomach.... just to swallow them down... so they can come back up again. This dread has been growing for some weeks... and it is here upon me today.... this is the day....
THAT I CLEAN THE GIRLS ROOM.