Living large

I am blogging from another dimension. I have entered laptop world. I haven't bothered opening a user guide to become familiar with this thing... so I am finding out as I go. It doesn't help that I am drinking a glass of red wine, so things should go down hill pretty fast from here!

Tomorrow is my last MONDAY where I am free. After this... it's rollerblades on... until JUNE. I wonder what I will be doing in June... I wonder if I will still be skulking along... doing my same weekend job?? A mystery lies ahead I think.

So..in other things that I like to think about..
I went downtown the other day... and I decided that I like the sounds of seagulls, and the echo they create against the buildings. Seagulls in the city. It could be a new rock band or something.

I talked to my friend who is at the moment living large. How does one go from visiting a dietician, make her way through a Tim.Horton's drive-thru, and then call me in hysterics telling me that she is gathering up White.Spot for dinner. I admire her conviction!

We had ants living large here the other day. I kept feeding them my ant bait, and with every puddle of ant juice I added to the floor, the more they told their friends. At one point I had to moving masses of brown on either side of my fridge. I was completely tempted to take the vacuum to them... but I was patient to keep feeding them.... and, now today, I believe they are completely buffeted out DEAD ants. Insert smile here _______.

I am currently sipping a glass of red wine, and cruising thru the internet world while seated at my bar stool place in the kitchen. The lovely PIP is busily playing a girl game on the computer next to me. I love wireless. It has been kind to me.

Let's see what the living large husbandman is doing: watching rich bride poor bride. He appears content... oh wait, he is back to watching his earth show about the plates in the earth, and the rockies.

We just gback a bit ago from the outdoor pool. My girl and her friend had it all to themselves, complete with two lifeguards to keep them safe. I say incredible people. I think tomorrow we may check out the other outdoor pool, to say an official good-bye to summer.

On that note... enough of this living large... I must go and watch the earth show with the husbandman... he will certainly not be amused that I have taken an interesights in his television delights.

Well... it's psycho Tuesday.

Although that statement alone may be an understatement as to the rest of the days of the week, not to sure on that one.

I almost gave up my volunteer walk leader position this morning. I was (_) this close. The person at the front counter royally pissed me off to no end, and basically embarassed me in front of total strangers waiting to buy theatre tickets, then dismissed me as she had no time to help me because there was a line up of people. All this, after I went to sign in for my walking group. Forgive me for not signing in at the beginning of the session, when I find it most inconvenient only because walking members join us after we have started walking, and then I have to go sign in again, which is time consuming, and guess what... I am not into redundancy.. it makes me nuts. So guess what I did people... I called the person that manages the walking department for the city and complained. Yes, complained. I am a fourty something year old woman that spends two mornings a week volunteering for a program that I believe is important only to be berated in front of complete strangers because of PERCEIVED incompetency. Uhhm.. no thanks. I can find other things to do, and other friends to walk with.

Yes people.. it's psycho Tuesday...

Of course after that I called Telus... which makes me even crazier....imagine that.

I suggested that I should have a star next to my name, which in my field of work makes me aware that there is something "different" about that patient... like ISOLATION!... and therefore a bit more cautious when coming across them, or more importantly when entering their room. The poor guy asked me my telus account number... which I don't have a clue of... and then he asked me my husbands social insurance number. Then I asked him why I would have that? AND then.. I continued on that even though I happily loved my husband, he was in fact completely stunted in the TELUS department of things, and to never never never ask me of the SIN again, because I simply do not have it, nor am I going to make the attempts to retrieve it. In this day of age when passwords and even more passwords are required to access bank accounts I asked the guy that they should set up a special question that I could answer each and every time... because I was never ever going to look up account numbers, when I practically had to divulge my weight when I was 18 years old to get them to even take my call, surely they could come up with an easier telephone practice. Lucky for me he got the thumbs up from his supervisor to take the call... I really think I have an asterisk in front of my name after all.

Yes people, it's psycho Tuesday alright.

The Monday Report

All quiet, except for the washer and dryer. See, I believe that is quiet, even when it isn't.

The KING, and "The Till" have headed off to work for the day. She loves this whole work thing... and waits for The King to invite her every Monday. How kind of the King.

To recap the past couple of days:

Friday we headed down/across/over to Centennial Beach with the four children. The event was incredibly funny, the whole time. I am not clear on the details other than.... we brought the little Pipsters stuffed "prance" with her, and Gramerica. These two are a lethal combination of humour. Remember those wierd wooden dolls that people would sit on their laps and make talk? well this is the same thing, but in stuffed animal form, and with the exception that the stuffed dog prance doesn't just have to sit on one's lap. (Hence the picture of her in the tree a couple of posts back).

Saturday = work = hell. No kidding. People were putting out fires all over the place, and I was the control center.
Sunday = work = hell, but one floor up... say the linen department, but a big sale, a really big sale.

While I was waiting for THE KING to prepare the dinner festivities I took off to see the bears. (Well, really.. what else should the QUEEN mother do to humour herself, but keep herself busy??) I should say BEAR, but you know.. it's fun to think in plurals. The people in the homestead were doing "their thing", and I invited some happy onlookers, but I had no takers. Just as I rolled around to my viewing spot corner, these two men waved their arms and indicated for me to stop the car... uhm... OK. (they had a little dog on leash...which in my mind SCREAMS they are safe).. they asked if I could help them jump their car... uhmm... little dog= safety or.... wait till someone else comes along.... then they tell me their wives are waiting at the van. OH... well of course... NO BRAINER. They did say I was brave for stopping... ( I did not tell them that this little NON intersection in the woods is busier than a stop light in downtown Vancouver at this time of bear viewing!).. anyways... they tried jumpstarting their car, but not before scaring me with jumper cables, and I had to ask if they knew what they were doing ... only because they really didn't seem 3000 percent positive how to jumpstart a car. (At that moment I envisioned myself, and my blown up battery of the indigo mazda 5 sitting there,.. oh, and I didn't bother with the cell phone, as that was charging on my counter...do we really need to be connected 24/7... ??? That answer would be YES!) I eventually drove the two men back home, so they could pick up a vehicle that worked, and I headed back to see the bears, which I eventually got to see.

One of my bear watching friends stopped me and was snickering away that I was the person that they had found to help them. He said he started laughing when he saw my car ... faced the wrong way jump starting the other car... I told him I had a motive.. that they needed to get their beastly van out of my viewing location... which is exactly where it was parked. I almost have a reserved sign that has gone up in my spot now, and wheel grooves that fit my car perfectly.

Well... day ONE of Sasamat... I have to go and remove children from their dens.

Hairdo of the day award...

This is how it starts out... and by the end of bear watching, and the at the end of busy day this is what the "do" looks like!

I switched and I switched

I kept dodging these two, but those kids kept waving, I came to the conclusion that they really were mine, and I would have to take them home again with me.

In other things that I couldn't take home:

Was a morning shot with adequate lighting. I figured that I would have to come home, and do some research on the computer about this. The morning light was not at all orange, well, I guess it had some tints of orange, but not this drastic. I changed my camera settings with each click, just to see if I could get a morning shot that represented the colours that I visualized, which never came to be. Everything I did came out orange. The picture above was maybe the closest I got to the actual colours of the moment. This camera duty keeps me always thinking and learning, this isn't a complaint.

Speaking of split personalities

This guy takes the cake on personality splitting. He can be many on a moments notice. Somedays it's all too scarey to be on the receiving end of his quirky humour. I never know what he is going to come out with.

The dog and the girl

The dog at the top of the page will be everlasting. I am not sure what we will do when the people in this homestead grow up, and stop treating this stuffed dog as if it were real. This days adventure found her up a tree with her stick, and it took quite a bit of coaxing to get her down, all headed by the next two pictures. It might be safe to conclude that this whole family has split personalities, part human, and part stuffed.

Speaking of...

Here's an example of what I see... there was a car further off in the distance, just gone down the road, and then there was one parked facing it's headlights towards us, and then the little lady with the silent golf came cruising along. Now these bears stand, and wait, and sometimes they will walk straight across the road, and then become scared, or for some reason not feel it's safe to cross into the blueberry fields, and turn around and come back, which really is truly amazing! Only because behind the bushes on the left is only a peapod of the size of the blueberry fields to the right of the trees.

three for two

I was in my regular bear watching spot when mama and her two cubs came flying out of the fields. It is incredible to watch wilderness in action, because at first I just saw mama, and then I was able to see a cub behind her, which I thought was interesting, only because you rarely see one cub in the mix. Shortly after, there was the second cub that popped out from the bushes, and they were all very quick to disappear. I was able to get a couple of shots of both the cubs, but they were not the intensity that I crave, so this is the best there is. AND... here is my secret about being a bear watcher. Cars continuously bypass this spot, and drive down the roads to look in the fields, and yes, I have had my success at seeing bears in the field, but I am content to sit in one spot, and wait... because if you can see in the upper centre of this picture... there was a vehicle just gone past... these bears are very smart, and they wait for no noise before they cross. I can't tell you how many times vehicles cruise through, and then after they have just gone, out comes a bear. Last night was a good night. I saw 6 bears, but then I had some double crossers (as in they walk to the right, to the blueberry fields, and then return back into the bushes). So I had a total of 10 bear sightings last night. One, was rather huge, almost monster like, in fact he was just that a big blueberry eating monster... and too boot, a rather timid one. As he was the guy that came scooting back out of the fields.

Shock of schocks

It's raining!

The flowers are officially destroyed. the children have left the homestead in an effort for me to NOT take them swimming, and the dog is busily shedding clumps of fur all over the home. It is a good thing that I ran around here like an idiot yesterday morning ensuring that the house would NOT be a shambles today. I am a fool. I should have done NOTHING yestereday morning, and it would still be the same today. Except that the floor is clean, so is the laundry, so are the dishes, but with an extra layer of dog fur droppings to make me slightly hostile. Oh, and the rain is making my eyebrows furrough. See, I told you I would complain.

In other things more fun:

We went to the PNE yesterday. It was good fun. I did not buy a MOP from the marketplace, as the girl suggested that I should just take deep breathes and remove myself from the mop lady demonstrator. I love the mop people at the marketplace. I mean... where else in the world can you make the most important cleaning decision of your life, by having someone demonstrate how great their cleaning tools can actually work, which makes me, a happy CLEAN homeowner. I really wanted the MOP. I really did. I also wanted the Dead Sea Salt therapy, but opted out of that since a jar of it was $40.00 I looked it up this morning on line, and I can get a jar of Dead Sea Salts shipped to me for $7.99. That might have been a good call, but one never knows. Then I wanted to purchase the whole nail kit thingy... you know the buffer and polisher and the shiner and then double shiny shiner coupled with the pumous stone, but not a pumous stone for the same $40.00 price tag. I was torn. Instead I bought two clocks for ten bucks. In all my efforts to remain younger looking with the non purchased age defying beauty products, now I can just watch time slip away.... I might just send away for the Dead Sea Salts....I could be 22 again before you know it.

Oh wouldn't you know.. it's time to do more laundry. Damn clocks.

Baking & Boiling

You might think that is kitchen talk... it would be, if you were reading someone elses blog.

Rather, I am talking about the WEATHER. It's quite extreme at the moment. Tomorrow it will be raining... so you know.. I might complain about that then.

In other things to complain about:

Currently I am looking a bit like a wild woman. Almost Carol Burnett Nora Desmond like. I will fix that before I go to see the bears in TWO minutes... we wouldn't want to really scare them.

Must be quick... the light will escapes me quickly at this time of year... and as you good and faithful readers know.. I like my lightnights.

Here's a story for you..

The boy is currently looking after the neighbours fish. These people feed the fish twice a day, and probably more when it's sunshiny out.. but I can not be for certain. One thing for certain is that the know-it-all husbandman insisted that he wasn't going to feed those fish more than once a day.... (sssshhh... don't tell the neighbours....). So me, being all big about myself reminded the husbandman of years gone past... way off in our memories, 9as in back in our TWENTIES)that even combined we still can't come up with a strong visualization... on less of course you throw some names in the mix....

Beefy, Smudgy & Tankboss.

Yes people, we had a big fish tank. I don't know how many fish we had... but I know you can count.. so you know we had at least three. Now these fish were the perfection of high maintenance. Beefy & Smudgy were twins, I think they were the GIANT Angel Fish (silver with black stripes), and were pretty cool. Then there was Tankboss, who was black with gold flecks, and also a GIANT Angel Fish... except that he had a bit of a problem... if we didn't feed him at regular intervals, I think he became hypoglycemic, and then fell to the bottom of the tank, until we fed him. Many times I was on my hands and knees with a fish net, swishing Tankboss around the tank and shaking a food tin over him. It seemed to work every time. He flickered his little gills and glided around with the net probing him to eat, and miraculously he recovered. It could have been attention seeking behaviour since Beefy & Smudgy had each other, and were inseparable. This went on forever, and people didn't even believe me when I told them about our hypoglycemic fish. How odd is that?

And now.. the KINGLY Sir husbandman has taken it upon himself to decide when the fish get fed. See, I think I am losing my mind... well, clearly this man has lost his.... feeding the fish... for only once a day....

OH... and here is a Sunday evening quiz... guess who named the fish.... ??

In the company of cheerful ladies!

This is a perfectly enjoyable book for a quick summertime read! I also have read the Kalahari Typing School for Men. I think this is a series, although they can stand alone as well.

CANADA gets GOLD!

This should be a new sport... how about running back up the waterslide hills? I watched gold star performances yesterday in this very event!

IN real life OLYMPICS we haven't "come across" a gold.. but you know... our time will come.


Onto other things that really do not matter:

The household is sleeping. That would be because nobody under the age of 14 goes to bed at night, however; the over 20 year old crowd finds it far easier to go to bed!

Yesterdays summertime excitement involved a drive out to Chilliwack, to the TransCanada waterslides. The PIP and her cousins flew up and down the tubes all day. It was delicious fun for those that like that sort of thing. I do not find it delicious fun, and even though I got to sport 14.00 dollars worth of a green arm band, I wasn't extremely interested in joining in on the event. It appeared that I was one of the few that suffered from the same non-fun approach to life. Oh well, I suck!

I do win in the EAGLE EYE event. Later on in the evening, after the driving event which I did fill up with shell bronze gas I might add, AND after we had been down to see ONE big huge black bear cross the street (he didn't try to eat us, and we didn't try to shoot him)... and after running into Mr. Pickaspat living his dreams through a car dealership RUBICON testdrive it forever take, the PIP and I went down to the video store. From way out across the parking lot I spotted a piece of paper. I rolled into the spot, right over the top of the paper.. kind of like hovering over a fresh kill ( I watched this last week on Grouse Mountain, with the birds of prey demonstration)... and then I said to PIP, look under the car... and there you have it.. plain as day. A nice fresh TWENTY dollar bill for her spending pleasure. I have to admit.. when I drove in I heard a mother yelling (they were a distance away from each other) at her teenage daughter about "something", and the daughter saying back to her mother.. "she doesn't know where ...." but then it faded out. I just let PIP pull out the jackpot from under the car, and saved myself 17 dollars and 26 cents in the process.

I think that the PIP could win a medal in the GOLD digger event for CANADA. There, that could be our first.

Monday countdown...

There are exactly four more Mondays before I return to my group. I have about 10 Mondays worth of work to accomplish to be organized!

That's OK.. I will get my SH#& together quickly enough... OK.. that's a hopefully on that one.

The husbandman and girliegirl made it back from their weekend excursion at Loon Lake. The Pippy had a great time.. (how could you not having another same aged webkins loving blonds to keep you company!).

The blue sky has made it back to our homestead, but that wasn't before it ransacked all the flowers and left them feeling like binge drinkers gun wild. Everything is sitting with that stunned look of ... "oh god.. I don't think I will do that again..." So they are recuperating today, and tomorrow, and next week... and in actuality they probably wont recover. I am going to give them a good hit of their blue juice and maybe that will bring them back to life.

I have exactly enough cream to make it through two cups of coffee this morning. I have nothing left in the fridge to turn my coffee cup a bit on the brown side, rather than black. I am hopeful that my guestimates are correct... otherwise this could be a Monday morning coffee disaster. Who knows what could happen to the rest of the day.. will I only kind of snap and be crazy, or will I be completely crazy anyways? It's hard to know, with all the vitamins masking the situation!

I am not making plans for anything today....I have my book that I need to read... because the book club is coming up on Wednesday ( you would think that it was some ANNUAL event that one must attend every year)... but you know... I like to attend... so I should read the book.

I am off now to do things that happen on a Monday.

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan

I really liked this book... I finished it while I was away.... on the shores of Shushwap Lake.

Saturday slush party

I think if we added ice to the great downpour that we are currently experiencing... and a package of crystal.light... it would be a slush party. I think.

I am having a house of ONE party at the moment. The boy left for the day, while I was at work, and since the KING is off doing some KING camping with the PIP, I am alone......

Here's my complaint_______________________________.

Exactly, you see my point.

I should be having alcohol... it just seems the right thing to do... but then... when drinking just doesn't come extremely natural (sorry LUJZA!), it's just kind of hard to do on your own. Damn.

I went to work today. I wish I didn't, but then I wish for things like lotteries too, so you know..it's just one of the many zillion things that I wish for.

I am just pounding back the PINK crystal.light (sorry again LUJZA), and I might need to concoct another plastic cup of the jo-jo juice... it's quite refreshing..... when you are alone, in a silent house, with only a wet but drying dog for company.

I am avoiding things like putting away bags, and clothes, and throwing around laundry... and those details of life. They just bore me to tears... but I will not cry.. I will remain strong.. here, on my lonesome.

I need my boy here, and we would compose a song together... about being silent and alone, and it would be woefilled, and idiotic... truly to our liking.

It's a good thing that I did not try and water my flowers last evening... I think I would see little ARKS floating about the homeland. I did water one container that does not get wet when it pours with rain... so it was a good thing that I did it last night, and not tonight... that would only serve to help the neighbours continue their thoughts about having a crazy psycho woman living on the crescent.

OH.. and in things that might be important to my life:

I think I really want that (ick ick ick ick ick) full time job. Not that I want to work full time.. because I don't ... but more importantly it will get me away from doing my current job... which at the end of any given day.. I just don't care for. (I can't say I HATE IT any longer due to the sister in law starting the same job)... I have to try and be nice about my current state of affairs.

I think I am full up to my eyebrows with crystal light.. maybe I should take up drinking on my lonesome... that way I wouldn't have water dripping from above my eyes. (i am just kidding for those non chucklers out there).

SHIT... I have things calling to me... I guess I have to do them... AH.. but wait.. I just remembered that I have a book to read as well... and I think it is to be a good book... so now I am off... to procrastinate just a little longer... now there is something I am really good at... FACE IT... I bet you are too!

I'm back

I am back from my holiday, although I wasn't really on one, it was more like I didn't have access to a washing machine for three days.

I don't go far ever... not that I wouldn't want to go far.. I just don't. Maybe I will one day... so I'll be sure to not try and hold my breath.

For today:

The PIP is away doing fake camping at Loon Lake. (staying in a cabin, with running water, showers and a stove... plus a father that cooks her meat (marinated a roast) on the BBQ. See,... what good fortune!

I looked like a mother that was letting her ex-husband TAKE the child for his allotted visitation time in the Tim. Horton's parking lot earlier today. We arrived, transferred items (mostly 16 stuffed things really, not including the child), chatted then departed. It was that simple. The PIP looked all cute in her pink sweatshirt and her supertight PIP-tails (so that the husbandman doesn't have to deal with 27 1/2 pounds of blond hair), and her well hidden turquoise bathsuit top with the "elbow action" included. (Long story short... the little FUSSY called boobs elbows when she was a little eenie weenie one.... and I have called them eblows ever since... because how can you go through life with only one set of elbows... I mean come on!) I was going to call the PIP, but realized... I didn't have Mr. Ricks phone number at the cabin... sorry PIP.

AND.. while I have been away... the black bears are trying to take over the world... but it seems that the boys that wear the non-passing-lane pants are quicker on the draw than the black bears, which have resulted in a number of deaths of my favourite evening adventures.

The boy on the other hand is now home with his friends.. making wholesome GOREYSTORIES in the dark. Kind of ick.

I have other minimal stories of interest... but they will have to wait until the memory of them have returned....this could be a while... or not.

I'm leaving.

Going away for a few days... this is my jet plane. Wish me luck.

Pic of the day

TWICE in ONE week!

OK... talk about a beautiful Sunday. I picked up my "crazy about bears no matter what it takes friend" yesterday morning. It was glorious outside! After a couple of wrong ways on some very well known streets, we managed to make it to Star.Bucks to find coffee and treats for the ride up to the mountain. We get to the base of GROUSE Mountain, and everybody plus three and a half dogs were scrambling all over the place. It was 0915 in the morning on a Sunday. People are crazy, including us. FINALLY in my life I have handed out some good advice... and that was for my crazy friend to pre-buy her ticket for the gondola so that we did not have to wait in line when we got there. It was very good pre-thinking, so that way the LUJZAGIRL had no time to think about the quick little ride up the very steep cliff trapped in a little 16 x 20 box attached to wire that is supposed to mimick fun! fun! fun! (Breathe Lujza Breath!). I think the ride took 8 minutes to get up there.. but once we were up there... it was all camera, all the time.

We walked past the gift shop and I asked Lujza if we needed to enquire about a new pair up underwear... out of complete bravery she denied needing any! But you know.. with just her and I... it was all about PEE YOUR PANTS fun!

Since it was just the two of us.. we didn't have to contend with children fighting amongst each other... so it was pleasantville! Well, of course you do not want to add tourists children that screech at the top of their lungs, or grown women that meow at grizzlie bears.

I have to admit... I was a bit sly in leaving the homestead... as the girlygirl PIPSTER would have loved to make the trek again with me back to the top of the mountain... but I kept it under my hat... and kind of snuck away.

I got to watch the lumberjack show with the hot looking men with their big strong arms.... more grizzlies, and the rapture show. L-O-VE'-D it all over again. OH.. and because I am truly nice.... I even let the LUJZA LADY know about the fool that hikes himself up a 60 foot pole, then crosses over the top of the pole, along what looks like a stetcher, and then onto another 60 foot pole, stands up, does head stands, and then falls off. I couldn't even look last Monday... because you knew the fate of the guy.. he does fall off the pole... of course securely attached to a zip line.. but people don't really know that... This was maximum fun (NOT) to watch.

I didn't get some good "bird" shots like I did the other day... but I do have ONE great grizzlie photo that I am going to blow up.... it was a GREAT day...

But then I am failing to mention the ride back down the mountain. OK.. OMG... talk about FREAK OUT... which I didn't really... except for the fact that we piled in the 16 x 20 box attached to a string/wire, and then proceeded to FLY DOWN the mountain at what seemed like breakneck speed. Yes, the treetops were almost blurring as we passed them... I was glad to see us land... safely! In fact.. I think last night I had a dream that we ploughed through the sky at such a rate of speed that our gondola box broke through the other side of the ticket box, and settled in the parking lot after tumbling over and over again to a stop. THERE.. hows that for a grand finale L...?

What we find at the QE

QE Park

Where brides glow!

Dealbreaker email

So I just sent my friend an email.... I am waiting to hear back from her. I might have just sealed my doom in going on an adventure due to the fact that we have to ride in the sky for about 10 minutes.

BUT... I do say... if she wants the photos of the bears... it's going to hurt a bit doing it... (like riding the gondola to the top of the mountain)...

I did offer her a choice of doing the Grouse Grind, or riding the gondola... so I am not sure what her preference will be... other than me saying "see you at the top"... as I wave good-bye locked in my ticket to good times gondola rider thingy!

BUT.. for the moment.... I am writing on a Saturday... all happy that it's a Saturday... and I am not in my usual location being at work, doing worky things... as I really do not think it is necessary for me to work.... although some would beg to differ. That said... I am still waiting to hear back from the manager of OT to talk to her about a FULL TIME job as a Rec. Therapist. (yes, what the hell am I thinking???)... but you know.. the chicklets are growing... and I should make some good use of my time... (rather than persuing personal interests that could clearly wait until I am 65....)

I must go be productive.

Here's how it's all going to happen:

1. Colour the hair
2. Load of laundry
3. Clean the bathroom
4. Tidy & shine the kitchen counters (this dark granite shows everything!)
5. Dust the livingroom
6. Vacuum the car
7. Wash the car
8. Wash our sheets & hang to dry ( the marine air may have cleared at this point)
9. Give instructions to the girlie girl that she does in fact have to clean her room.
10. Do the same with the son, but he will be more obliging (as he has less to do in his room).

Then....

The Pipster and I are going to head off over to Queen Elizabeth Park where loads of brides show up with their entourages for their wedding portraits.

It's 9:06.. let the games begin.