Because i am NOT a doctor.

I decided that I would chop my hormone pill in half.

I will let someone know after my experimental session is over.

I am POSITIVE this is the cause of the sleep disturbance!

If it isn't then I will go back to regular scheduled programming.....

In the meantime... the Missy Till Till has STOPPED her pacing.. and is loving the rest on her pawsy's. Now she is back to regular non stop semi frantic pacing... at a rate that THIS PERSON can much more with stand.

I called up the husbandman the other night and pretty much COMMANDED him to return to the homestead.... how evil am I? Out with his boyfriend for his regular skating and pub festival... and I ruin his fun. Little did I tell him that I FELT LIKE SHIT FOR NO APPARENT reason.. have continued to have a headache.. but that isn't important... it's his little Missy Till Till that is THE ONE that holds this mans attention. He came home for her... which is all I wanted....

OK.. and now back to real life...

I'm tired...

I am .. not sure why.

It's the Missy Highmaintenance Wondering Dog that should be tired.

She paced yesterday from about seven in the morning... until six thirty in the afternoon.

She did take a short break while the husbandman sat with her, AND when he took her to the vet.. which I didn't really think he was going to come back with her.

By last night I had enough of this pacing.... yes... I was completely psychotic with the CONSTANT pacing.

The little Miss Till Till WILL not go to any of her regular haunts to sit, or GAWD forbid lay down.

Of course it hasn't been a problem for the husbandman... he has been at work all day.. dealing with worky stressful things... meanwhile.. back at the ranch his most faithful companion in the world paced.

He is now glued to the couch.. with his faithful companion. His faithful companion has newly instated drugs to put her paws at ease.

Who cares about the wife... and having to constantly watch all this.

I might just go furniture shopping today.. just because.

My eyebulbs hurt. Not sure why. I don't think any amount of furniture shopping will put them at rest. Not even sure why I wish to go furniture shopping....

I think I will leave the cowboy and his cowpokes doing their own thing anyways.

CHEESE and CRACKERS I am tired.

morning... or is it?

I believe I went to bed last evening.. but spent the night staring into darkness... and not through my eyelids.

Now it's time to colour the crazy head of hair... now that is one joyous event. I guess it could be equated to drinking beers at the pub on pay per view hockey nights... but that's right... I don't drink beer... ever.

I wish my hair colouring budget was as big as someone's beer drinking budget.. oh wait..... there is NO budget for that.

Silly me... I forget just so easily.

Hows this for an excuse...

I didn't get out of bed earlier.. so I wouldn't wake the dog.

NOBODY wants to disrupt the dog... NOBODY!

Missy 4 eyes

On a whim yesterday I went to the eye doctor... because you know.. things like eyes work... until they kinda don't work... which is what I think happened to me.

Now I have not one.. but two pairs of glasses... but just for reading don't you know!

Yes... it all starts there.... first for reading... and then .... I just need to see this... and I need to see that... and then whala...

You need them to see.... ALL. THE. TIME.

In the meantime.. the book is due back to the library today... and I think I am going to have to make an effort (more like MARATHON-IT)... to get it done.

In the meantime the vanilla chai is steeping away....

and anyways...

So I am all crazy.

Really. Truly.

Squared away, but not yet confirmed....

CRAZY.

I probably should give up drinking coffee.

Just had a cup... wired out of my tree.

Can't wait to start the drinking feature.

Am SO looking forward to that.

In other things.....

The husbandman is off today.

I told him I was his date for the day... and any adventures that he went on... I am going on.

I need to see some sights, and sounds of life beyond the little homestead.

I did manage to empty my closet yesterday of all my fatish type lady clothes.

Please read as in BIGGA BIGGA and not FETISH.

I called up the womens shelter and asked if they needed any bigga bigga clothing.

They were most appreciative.

Of course there was that little addition that I was not to be doing lifting, carrying, moving, shuffling...oh well.

I needed to do something in an effort to stop my brain from starting to smoke in the middle of the night.

I think it worked.... I did see an hour of the deep dark night tick away... but that was the most I saw of it.

and now... must get myself organized and ready to accompany the husbandman.. I really think that he wishes for his dog to make the trek... but she's a bit scary to own lately.... one leap could really be her final leap... it's best to leave her in the homestead in her pampered comfy-ness.

Really wishing that I could venture down and visit the bears if they were to be snatching fish from the creek, but I am thinking that they only embark on that adventure in the deep dark night themselves.

I am still hot on the trail of somehow buying some livingroom furniture.. not sure why this is bugging the SHIT out of me... but it is....

OK.. must go... the husbandman is almost ready to roll.

Rest easily people

I very smartly returned to the sleeping environment at a lovely 6:25, where the littly missy Till till bugged the heck out of me for a bit, and the husbandman eventually made his way of out the beddy at a bold 6:45.... and then with a washcloth and ear plugs in place... slept until 0815.

You know my theory....

Because you know I have theory.....

I am just NOT doing enough... so my brain wakes me up at night.. so I can busily as a beaver think about 10 billion things.

I don't know how these doctory type people can just say.... "you are supposed to do nothing for the next 6 weeks... end of story". The doctory type person did give me a list a mile long of the things that I wasn't allowed to do, and then with the addition of doing nothing.

I don't just do nothing.. I mean I don't do alot.. (according to the husbandman, who I might add might have just built himself a new job description in the morning after this adventure....), but on top of not doing alot, I don't just do nothing. I rarely do nothing. My book reading is my doing nothing. OH and of course "HERE" I guess is doing nothing...but you know.. six of one....

Well ... what is nothing... because nothing can't really be nothing... can it?

You know... doing nothing leaves a lot of free time to drum up the great idea that I am certainly sick of our current living room furniture, and that something should be done about it. I have even rationalized up the grand thought of don't pay until 2015~! With that solid theory in place... who knows where my doing nothing adventures might lead me.

Flyers are one thing... but hands on is much nicer.
~~~~~~

It's grey outside today... not the best picture taking to be had... unless of course I drive out to my favourite dam... but then I would drive there by myself.. I need my pink co-pilot with me....

Well... I will continue to drink my tea... go find my book... which I need to read anyways... and go be too warm on a couch that I wish not see in my livingroom any longer.

And... just because it's the middle of the night....

Don't think that I have nothing to talk about...

Yesterday morning, after a non sleeping night.... I found myself stalking out the bears in the bear location, at a brisk fresh hour of the morning.

What a moron!

I positioned the Mazda 5 in just a way that if I were to spy a bear walking down the creek I could jump out and snatch a picture of it..

I brought my book which is due back in two days... and I completely need to read it....

BUT... there was so much commotion going on with the fish that were crawling themselves up the creek I couldn't tell if it was a bear stealthly eating up some grub, or just the fish creating havoc within the creek. At any rate... the book reading couldn't take place because of the noise factor... and I couldn't miss out on any potential action.

Eventually I had to leave from my viewing spot.... only to drive down the road a bit further... and see... of course you guessed it... footprints.

It's enough to make this crazy person crazy.

In other things that make me crazy:

It's the sound of sleeping. Makes me crazy.
I can only lay in bed for a little while... and then eventually I can not take it any longer. I leave the semi-comfort of the bed, and make my way to the livingroom. I have to do this very quietly... because if "the Till" finds out that the livingroom door is opened she makes a wild scramble to be a part of the carpet adventure. Oh little doggy.... why can't she just sleep in her lovely wicker basket.... just like her catdog dog that she is?

So now I am here... hiding out in the livingroom... and if the little missy four legs finds out... she will start her scurrying about, and bumping doors... hence the earplugs put to another good use.

I will make another scour of the street,... and look for my favourite black blobs moving about in the night... that I never get to see on this street... only everybody else does...

I think I am tired of being tired... which I have no reason to be tired for anything... since I am not allowed to do anything.. but I do do stuff... just not real life stuff... just fake stuff. I think tomorrow I am going to do real life stuff, not sure quite what that is at this moment... but I am certain it is going to be something.

Oh I know.... read my book... must get that accomplished!

In the meantime... I am watching the minutes tick by in the deep dark night... clicking away on this keyboard, that I can not even hear, because the earplugs are jammed in so tight.

Perhaps I will start some fake sleeping now too..

Clown be gone

I had bought some pants in the summer time. They were decidedly the best purchase of the century! I loved them... with every waking chance from the dryer.... I would wear them.

Up until....

" Uh Momda", says the boy....."so are you going to keep wearing those pants, because I am not sure if you changed occupations over the last couple of weeks.... are you still my momda... or are you a clown woman?"

The favourite pants had somehow turned into clown pants. They are now sitting in a folded pile, fresh from the dryer.... still calling to me.

" Come here clown lady... come to me.....spppp.. over here... come put me on clown lady.".. it's quite the tempation when the label is so fitting, but the pants aren't.

good night peoples....

Now it's time for sleep.

Woke up last night at 1:45, remained sitting on the couch until 6:35 this morning.

Slept from 6:55 to 7:00... then the Fussilina Doll came in and asked me to write in her planner.

Sure... no problem Fussilina..... what would you like me to write...?

She COULDN'T do her math.

OH... that's right... Fussilina Doll couldn't do her math becuase her father was out with his boyfriend.

That's what the mother would have written.

Fusslinas's father wrote in her planner this morning.

I am now awake for the day.

It's still night...

The brain is working overtime.

Probably information overload that has kept me from a restful sleep yet again.

It's not something that you can predict once you go to bed... but it's once you are asleep that your body reminds you that yes, you are very much still alive, and have many tasks in life that you are planning to accomplish.

Probably a good thing that is...

I was reminded again today that I am here, in this life, living.

Sounds strange to think of... or contemplate even... of course I am here.... where else would I be?

Well.... not here.... more like floating about the ocean in ashes feeding fish actually.

The brain doesn't do well with that kind of information..... it tends to... ah yes... keep me up at night!

Well... at least I am here to write about it....

Good bye October!

Good riddance.

Have lived through a wicked (in my mind) two weeks.

Glad it's over.

People that I need to thank:

The SISTER... starting with at the hospital when she kicked my foley bag, just as I was going into full flown bladder spasms, because the bag was full at the 3 litre mark.

The MOTHER... she has continued to make soup, bring cheese biscuits, cookies, veggies and dinner for the little family. An incredible woman I say. This woman has more good karma coming to her than the population of Canada!

The SISTER in law.... who brought me soup, fruit salad and a stack of books! Lovely I say!

The FRIEND who helped boost me up in the bed, even when I didn't want to be boosted, and drove in painfully irritating traffic to see me.. lets go take some pictures now!!!

The other FRIEND who brought me ever so timely excellent reading material while sitting/lying around waiting to take pain medication. This FRIEND also brought me my first cup of coffee. HUGELY nice.

The WELLWiSHERS. There were lots of those out there that sent cards and nice thoughts... all good karma coming right back at you.

Did I mention the SISTER... helped me more than this space will ever mention, or she will ever take credit for.

The HUSBANDMAN takes an honourable mention in the clean kitchen, tidy home, clean and folded laundry, and fed children department.

Now back to regular scheduled programming.

Dear followers....

You are just the loyalist of followers.... popping by... reading up a storm... looking at the pics. It's just heart warming.... you know... to natter away... and you continue to return.

WELL

Do I have news for you... I must take a hiatus!

Yes, shutter as you may.... I have been sidelined for a bit.. and wont be dreaming up the stories by the boatload in the weeks to come... it's not that I am not going to return... it's just that I have got to be places... and JUNK.

Take it easy out there in the computer land of life....

Will return eventually....

Please stand by.

When you see our lights flicking

Don't think that we are playing ghosty games. It's our new commuication method with the lovely little Miss Till Till. With her current dying process, which she has temporarily put on hold for the moment.. she has promptly turned deaf. That was a result of an ear infection. So now the Till Till walks around in her silent world.... doing Till-like things.

Since her back is busily crumbling away, and she has more than likely lost sensation to her feeties, she spends a lot of time licking them.


Ta-Lu-Lup.
Ta-Lu-Lup.
Ta-Lu-Lup.
Ta-Lu-Lup.

Times that by fifty.

Now I can't stand the sound of this sort of licking. D.E.S.P.I.S.E. IT.

In the olden days (like a month ago...)if we were to hear her start her licking, then we would clap our hands, and call out her name, not her real name, but her constantly re-invented knickname... and she would stop.

Not so much any longer.

Now we use an electrical current. (Yes, we have become the in-home queens cowboys with our home gadgeted tazers!)...

It's called a lightswitch. And wherever that Till Till dog is... and we hear her licking... we walk to the light and start to flick it. If we are lucky and she isn't in her licking trance, then we can catch her attention... because sometimes although we could walk up and touch her, but that startles her... and can't be having the aging dog having a heart attack now can we?

This works while in the home... but just try it at night, when her back is turned, and she rushes out to eat grass. Yes, the back door light just doesn't have that ... "Till come here!" kind of properties.

Can't wait until next week... when blindness sets in....

Heading out...

To the favourite place in my world.... to the BEARlands.

Hopefully I will find whatever it is that makes me happy.

In the meantime I will collect the FUSS from her cousins house.

Not sure when I will find the boy.... he is still out roaming. Something else he is naturally good at.

A day shortened..

I am already missing the long evenings, and they haven't even left yet.

In other things that haven't left yet...

The Miss Ellpee.

She has resumed eating her "crumples", with the addition of eating that little scottie dog dog food. Not certain what her insides are saying to all of this... but she is eating none the less.

Hmmm... not the same dog we owned one month ago.

Massive headache today... it was actually inside my brain, and not because the husbandman has a week off. He is a bit of a funny character... and he actually invited me to go to the dump with him. On that generous offer... I went with him. Dump fun... oh what fun at the dump!

In fact... we went to TWO dumps... because that is just how much this man loves me... invites me to the dump for a TWO-some.

AND that people is the day... of course a little shortened.

Not entirely prepared...

But what can one do?
The exercise lady cancelled for the group today... and my craft creating session might not be as crafty as I wish... but I will see what I come up with... in less than an hour, so that might be frightening to think about....

Well OK... will give you a small idea of what I wish to do....

I am only wishing that people paint on pieces of paper... anything they wish... and then... I am going to use their painted papers to create little boxes for a christmas wish... when that time arrives... it will kind of be a surprise for them!

I think it will work... if only I can find my paintbrushes!

Well today.....

Wasn't all that well... enough said about that.

Little Miss Till Till decided that she didn't like her dogfood, and has reverted back to eating only hotdogs. Maybe she will go back to her CEASARLY way very soon. She did like it very much yesterday and the day before..... but sometimes too much of a good thing.. is too much of a good thing!

Started reading a book... only read 8 pages.
Went to see the bears. ... didn't see any.
Bought balloons and coloured streamers for a stuffed dogs birthday party.

Yes, that really happened.

BUT! The telus TV person came and managed to get our TV back up and running again... and it wasn't just a lame-ass plug a cable in you idiots sort of deal... even he had to call in for back up... and get this... they even put their employees on hold for a great deal of time..... now I feel so loved.

Well.... feeling as if I must vomit.... "well" be off....

Do I bother?

Quick... I need an answer ... it's a typical rainy blustery day here on the West Coast.... do I rush out to my walking group...??

I would like a cup of coffee... which I do not have the sufficient amount of cream for... so that would be an excuse for going...

And my hair... it's probably looking a little glamourous today with all it's curls and waves... which will be destroyed in 1.3 seconds of stepping outdoors. There are not many days when the hair is looking luxurious! Of course that could be the distorted mirror that I just happened to look in.

Well... as it seems that I talk to myself on a regular basis here, with no direction from anyone, I will have to go it alone with the decision making.

I will go.

The rain wont make me melt, I would really like a cup of coffee, as always the walk will be beneficial to me.. and the real reason is, of course my hair looking good is only a mirage. It has to be... there is never a day in Deanna world when the hair cooperates into good looking locks.

In the meantime... I have to leave the couch area where I am presently at... as it seems like the son was sitting here last night... him and his AXE spray crap... which is what I am thinking I am smelling. AND my nose does not smell any longer... but I can smell this... well I am breathing this... which is going to give me an asthma attack. OH.. and I don't have asthma... but surely this is going to kill me continuing to sit here.

Sooo... I am thinking...

Is it too cold in your house when you can see your breathe?

The furnace doesn't get turned on until a certain KINGLY someone cleans it out. I believe our little world of people that inhabit the home are looking forward to that event, especially the popsicle blogger person, who shall remain nameless, but none-the-less most obvious.

If another post is never written; feel free to assume that this person became a ice encased blogger girl.

I know the family and "all their fancy warm-bloodedness" will just step around the iceberg and complain...."that momda is certainly taking her time on her computer turn!".... " I wonder when momda is going to make my chocolate rice milk?"......"momda.. come here... I need to show you something...!"

They might not notice the predicament I will have found myself in....

Hopefully the KINGLY one will swiftly sparkle up the furnace. I believe I will leave a post it note on his laptop this evening.... "the furnace is calling your name..." That might give him a hint.