Today finally arrived.

This day took forever to get here.

I am fascinated that TODAY ... Arrived on the same day that a loved one had passed. I can't help but think of the reason for that ... !! I think that spirit father of mine had something to do with it.

My mom was fascinated with the spirit church thingy-majig. One day I will take her.

SO ... Today ... TODAY I got to stand on my lovely fake leg. It was so lovely to stand on that leg. Unbelievable beautiful actually.

My best best moment was The Lego Man ... Just sitting back, and giving me that moment of standing on that leg ... Letting me feel intact and whole again,... Letting me feel BETTER than I felt in so many months that have turned into years ... He just backed up, and let me have that moment of feeling like the person I once was, before this "thing" took over.

For comfort and safety sake .. I wore my green comfy vest ... What an unbelievable high.

Prosthetics ... What a pretty cool profession ... I certainly couldn't do it ... But GLAD somebody can!

The life that's in us.

Wow, heavy title. But not really.

So I made my 21 year old son a Betty Crocker birthday cake, in a funnel pan. It broke apart. So did I. How the FUCK does one screw this up?

You have to see it from my perspective ... Doing this all one legged is pretty god damned irritating ...but I go about my business, hoping to make a double chocolate cake for the lovely wild boy ... And the fucking thing breaks.

Is it so hard to screw up a Betty Crocker cake ... Really ..?

In the next instant ... I get a text from my sister ... She has been waiting on test results for a stupid polyp that has decided to grow inside of her ... NEGATIVE, same with the CT Scan.

Two NEGATIVES equal a positive right .. ?

Fuck I hate math ! I hate the rules of math, the concepts, the magics and the unknowns .... It swirls about us unfurling it's infinite ways to which spill unto us .... Determining where and what direction we are headed ....

My direction ... Was tears ... Of madness, of sadness, of relief, or exasperation. I hate the fucking math that comes with Christmas time ... And the number of days it takes for offices & departments to start working again ... We are forced to wait for appointments while the world happily rejoices ... Meanwhile ... Betty Crocker cakes crumble, and then so do we.

Again .. No fucking humour here today ... 

Well isnt this a numb ride!

Yes it is folks. Numb all around. Currently the little "pawsies" are back up to their hissy fitting tricks and are numb as numb can be.

This couldn't possibly be due to the fact that I am a professional hopper maniac. I have crutches, but despise them ... the non cruise control walker gives me super sturdy ground to balance on. Gotta love balance. So the extreme pressure that I use to walk with is causing nerve damage to my hands .. which is the reason for the numbness, such dumbness .. No ?

BUT then I have the minnie-mouse wheely hand bike ... I am up to 43 minutes on that baby. AND cheesus .. I could break down the wheely biking to a couple of times a day .. but once you get on this piece of magic ONE DOES NOT WANT TO GET off this hand bike .. gawd NO ... reason: YOU would never get back on ... it is just obnoxious .... wheeling and wheeling and never getting the heart rate past 100 BPM. At least I think that's the case ... I have a heart rate monitor ... on the telephone ... but that means ... stopping (well once your torture of the minutes is up) .. it takes a good two minutes to get the app up and running ... pokey pokey .. in the meantime ... the wheeling has to stop ... and so does the freaking heart rate. Double damn on being the nosey parker as to whether I am still alive or not. Freak.

Let's talk hair. It's everywhere. All. The. Time. I usually have great plans to wear it down ... and it looks all great and lovely .. until I start HOPPING about .. and then it's a showdown in the "wild west of hair locks" ... they are everywhere! Of course washing this fine mane is another sub-par arrangement. I like washing the locks in the laundry room sink .. it seems to fit my head .. however the floor is tile, and by the time this wild hopper is done .. so it the leg & foot. It's done dead and gone. By then end of the hair washing .. I am now standing on what would be "high heels" in an effort to NOT stand on the remaining good foot. Double witchy wonderland.

to be continued ...