Seriously AUGUST !!!

Good Morning to the people of the Internet lands that fill my blogger feed with great stories and good laughs.

You have missed me, I can tell.

I can officially say .. I have been busy. Busy walking about, or bumbling along, given the time of day or the amount of flower watering I have managed through out the day.

Life is cruising along a predicted and steady path. I am gaining strength and speed, and losing gadgets along the way. I am "sort-of" down to using a cane, rather than a walker to motor about. That's a crazy amount of confidence to trust that your brain can think and react on two different playing fields. ALL.THE.TIME.

That's an accomplishment.

I have been able to "kind-of" adapt to walking and maneuvering on the lawn. Wow, what a treat ... Sort of .. Basically it means that I can get to my flower beds, but given the time of day, I can't do it when I am bordering on exhaustion .. It is VERY VERY hard ... Attending to two completely separate tasks, and doing them to completion is monumental!

Currently around these parts the heat has been hitting us a little on the hard side .. So I have to go it slow ... The leg doesn't exactly like being cooped up in a liner that does not permit any type of breathing space ... And embarking on any type of endurance or exercise or even movement (see above paragraph!) sparks a flurry of perspiration ... So pretty much all my movement is slowed considerably.

The other night I was out walking around the block with the four wheeled walker, a cane, and walking poles .. The husband says to me .. "Uhm .. If you didn't have so many gadgets with you, you might be able to walk a little faster .. !" ... I was trying out all the walking apparatus to see what was the easiest method of movement. I am still as slow as a snail. The Lego Man said to me that I was working at a disadvantage. Perhaps. My brain sees this as a huge advantage .. From here, it can only get better.

So my "government issued leg" will be slowly replaced by the $14,000.00 leg, if the insurance companies agree to it. I hope they do. It will improve my mobility & extend my ability to conquer lifes agenda ... Although I will not be able to get a hidden compartment for lipstick, or a USB port, or even Bluetooth ... But, it will give me the ability to freely move about ... With greater ease.

I went to the gym the other day to ride the upright bike at the community Center. They only had one upright bike. I didn't want to ride a recumbent ... The gym attendant helped me get on the bike, and even strapped my foot to the peddle, so it would stay on. I did mention that I would need help to get the foot un strapped, since I couldn't even reach it. No problem she said. After 15 minutes of riding, I saw her pluck upon a cupboard, reach for her purse, and yell over to some gym folks .. Alright people, I'm leaving, she said. WTF. There I was ...stuck to the upright bike with my right leg ...  The first and last time I go to the community Center gym.

I spent July 31st having an awesome day ... as much as I tried not to think of the monumental time that had passed since last year, the same day I had the leg departed ... I spent THIS July 31st with two of the boys friends, and the boy, and the girl in the back yard ... It was simply an awesome day ... One that makes me feel just so thankful that I am alive, and over the hurdles of the past four years. Big deal, at this time, I am currently learning how to walk, and virtually re-do life ... But THIS I can do !!

TODAY I am debating what is on my agenda ... So far I have missed walking at the tack, it is too hot to go now .. I want to garden, but that will lead to a hot and unhappy leg ... And yet .. I wish to NOT be stuck inside ... Which is why I do not wish to keep painting my picture that sits at the other end of this table .. So something of greatness will have to come my way .. I am thinking I am going to go for a car ride to the Americas .. I am going to bring my camera and take pictures .. I think that is what I am going to do ..

Off to find my passport .. Later my favourites !!!!

Undertakings 101

And here we have it... Some stuff, or undertakings as you will:

The face clothes in my home keep disappearing ... I haven't quite figured out to what level of hell they find themselves in ... But alas I have taken it upon myself to recreate what I have, and yet has gone missing. Currently am in love with the cast on stitch, as it will match the cast off stitch ... My little complaint about knitting ... Thank you Pinterest for all your smartness !!

This is the gazillion worth of hours of 'the tam' that I built for my mom. It was a delightful weight upon her head ... Just enough to cover her hair, and yet not too heavy to proclaim ... "Bad hair day, look out!" I am most pleased with how it turned out ... I will be re-doing this pattern in turquoise .. For ME ! I was quite fortunate to have a season of house of cards to watch while knitting ... I'm hoping I could get so lucky on my next attempt!

In other things ... In larger under takings that might lead me to moving more than all the sitting that is happening from the above .... I saw the surgeon. I will hope that all her prodding the leg will not incense the living shit out of it .. As that happened to me in January ... The Rehab Doc upset the little wound and it lead to a breakdown in it's happy state ... Which has set me back to this ... So now, after the surgeon has touched it .. I will HOPE that the little tiny spot has had time to KNIT itself back together, and will not mind all the pushing and shoving that she instilled upon it yesterday. It has TWO weeks to sort itself out. I think it will ... It has to, otherwise the alternative is going to set me back months, on top of the months that this has set me back .. Except .. Who's counting ... ??

The boy in the non-band MIGHT have something in the works ... A trip back to Toronto. On an airplane... Hopefully THIS might lead them SOMEWHERE.

Now, onto MORE undertakings ... 

Today finally arrived.

This day took forever to get here.

I am fascinated that TODAY ... Arrived on the same day that a loved one had passed. I can't help but think of the reason for that ... !! I think that spirit father of mine had something to do with it.

My mom was fascinated with the spirit church thingy-majig. One day I will take her.

SO ... Today ... TODAY I got to stand on my lovely fake leg. It was so lovely to stand on that leg. Unbelievable beautiful actually.

My best best moment was The Lego Man ... Just sitting back, and giving me that moment of standing on that leg ... Letting me feel intact and whole again,... Letting me feel BETTER than I felt in so many months that have turned into years ... He just backed up, and let me have that moment of feeling like the person I once was, before this "thing" took over.

For comfort and safety sake .. I wore my green comfy vest ... What an unbelievable high.

Prosthetics ... What a pretty cool profession ... I certainly couldn't do it ... But GLAD somebody can!

Breast Cancer worries BEHIND me.

That's a billboard worth yelling about!

Not only is it behind me, it is also behind two other very very important people in my life.

Thank you new age fancy technology for detecting things that otherwise with the old "film" way of doing things, would not have been picked up .. However with the NEW way ... The digital imaging picked things up .. And stupidly in my case ... The CT Scan showed something that they weren't even looking for.

So NOW .. After waiting two months for this day to come and go, this day has managed to do just that .. Come and go .... Unremarkable, and definitely forgettable ... So glad for this.

The people will not be as forgettable .. The lady ... Who had been sitting for an appointment .. For two hours ... The Asian couple, who were more worried about the radiation from the mammogram machine, rather than breast cancer itself ... Then finally .. The woman with seemingly beautiful dementia/Alzheimer's that didn't quite seem to know anything .. In particular .. And was highly confused by my wearing of the two gowns, and where to put her clothes ... What a gem .. If I had to have sat a MOMENT longer with this woman .. I was totally going to ask .. "Do you live on your own?" ... Because LORD knows how she remotely functions !

WE collected our land title registery on our house today. That was even more exciting. Or maybe not ... But it had the potential to be exciting ... Official land owners .... !

Alright ... More leg talk to come .. Will save that for another day .. Gotta keep something to write about here !!!! 

Here's hoping that

This week can be a whole lot better. Way better.

EVEN though last week was still really really good .... it was rough. To a degree.

So I have had to come to terms with this NO LEG thing until the middle of January. I just really wanted to get MOVING on. So fucking hard to move on, when you simply can't. So the part of the body that was trying to kill me is gone. Long gone, as in 4 1/2 months ago gone. Now the left over person is milling about ... unable to truly "get out there" because I am still missing a kinda sorta vital body part to keep me moving on. A wound that is barely anything ... as in .4 cm x 2 cm is left sitting on my wound edge. Just sitting. It's slowly filling it's way in ... and violently slowly at that.

So ya, no leg till January. Then things will roll.

I have this weirdo ottoback tube thing that I wear now, it's a liner betweent he prosthetic and the leg. I can wear it for about two days, during the day ... and then ... the leg goes violently itchy and blotchy red, and a little extreme on the ouchness of wearing this thing. I am unsure as to whether it is almost an allergic reaction, or it's part of getting used to the silicone. Very bizarre. I did not wear it on Friday, so I could get the leg to settle down. It did, and again I wore it for the two days, and tonight I had to get it off, as it was writhingly turning violent. Odd.

So my fingers are still partly numb, especially the right pinky & ring finger ... now it's seeping into my middle finger ... the left side is not as bad ... just a bit less. AGAIN .. I need to get off this walker mobile ... and life will settle back to boringness. As one can only hope.

And not to be outdone by the fingers ... the right shoulder is ever so slighty destroyed ... it hates me ... still. I thought it was settling down ... but the little bastard is still reminding me that it is every so deeply unhappy with it's efforts in all this walkerness.

Finally, I can say that the face is stopping all it's bullshit hand out pain overload .... It is still every present ... however much more duller than before ... so I am thankful for the itty bitty things that are filtering their way from my life.

And the last point of unstoppable stupidity is this mammogram I am waiting for. God fucking damn it. January better not be the month of my un-doing all over again ...when January 6th rolls around ... it will be a year of "when the big mess started" ... and I would like this next year to be Total Clean-up. Pure and simple.

Meanwhile .... it's me the yoga mat and the christmas tree !!

2016 is going to be the year of replacing lost body parts ... that's all I am looking forward to! Getting my leg ... getting a new tooth put back in my head ... seriously ... just give me a tooth and leg .. and life will be all sweet !!

And ... moving on.

So I think it was about this time last year that the final confirmation came in about this foot. It was around this time last year that I was looking forward to January ... I wanted to skip the fricken December month, and move straight on into January. The Truth. How odd, no?

ANNND ... here we are almost a year of waiting ... but now for different things !! GAWD.

Life around here can be at times a bit montonous ... although .. I have to admit .. I have had good opportunity to "chill" ... for an extended period of time. In fact, unbeknownst to you, (ever so avid reader), I probably have stolen some of your "chill time" ... by pure osmosis.

Feeling ripped off now a little, I'm guessing ... ?

I know right !?

So I was doing a little contemplating this morning ... what the hell happens when I have obligations forced upon me ... what the hell am I going to do then .. ? Now that I have stolen most of mankinds "chill time" ... because .. in reality .. I have turned into a professional at it.

I will admittedly say ... that pretty much from morning till night, I am busy. Busy somehow. Busy being not really busy, but busy. Engaged. Doing something. Professional hour filler. Hand me your boredom, and I will fill your plate with "something".

This "chill time" could accurately be described as a prison sentence, ... and the days out, are escorted day passes. How lovely of a thought process. As I do not required electronic monitoring ... cutting off the leg managed that little problem. In the meantime .. I am exactly that ... an excited furry creatured beast ready to hit the road for any kind of car ride that will come for me!

Well in things way more exciting:

So I have had the opportunity to go scrapbooking for the day tomorrow. I have KNOWN about it for months upon months, and yes, upon months. Guess who is not ready? I mean really ... not ready ... that would be ME ... shit! I have contemplated my DAY LONG project ... and have come up with NOT MUCH !!! I have ideas upon ideas roaming in my brain ... and I have YET to get things organized ... so that will happen, post blog post. Trust me ... I am a professional ... !! Laughable ... 

And in other things that are weighing on my mind that I wish to divulge at this time ... so the leg is about an "eencie-weencie" amount worth of healing to go on .. and this bitch leg is DONE! done done done done done ... and done. It will be ready for the next phase of leg-less-ness ... and that is LEGNESSNESS .... hopefully I can be scanned ... and let the designing begin. MUCH to most readers grand disappointments ... I am going with a regular boring run of the mill leg ... one that pops on, and gets me places. This crazy woman does not require a STATEMENT of intactness ... meaning that I do not need designs & tattoos and flourescent colours screaming at me that I have a story .. christ ... everyone has a story ... EVERYONE ... mine, like EVERYONE's doesn't need to be plastered across the world stage for all those to wonder ... so pretty excited about THIS PHASE. I can't say that I was feeling this level of excitement LAST year at this time ... and now moving onnnnnnn ....