The Elpster

The silly and crazy catdog made me laugh once again this morning.

If her life isn't exactly on schedule, or what she perceives as being on a schedule, her life for the day is ruined.

This happened to her last Friday when the husbandman and I just happened to be home together, at the same time, well at least for a while. She sensed something wasn't quite right, as the husbandman didn't pack up his glass belt, take his wallet, and his phone, put on his working shoes and leave for the day. That was it. She was a mess. She wouldn't eat her 0700 food preparation of the same kibble that she has eaten since last year. He shook both her paws as he had to call her from around the corner where she hides when you fill her bowl, which is once again, part of her routine. He gave her fresh water, as we always do when we feed her. NOPE, that wasn't good enough. There were two adults in the home at the same time, which to her was the wrong time. Finally by 4:06 in the afternoon she ate her breakfast. Exactly 54 minutes later she started her dinnertime frantics, and that would be to march around the house to attract some attention so that someone would look at the clock and realize that it was 5:00, and she was starving. I fed her at 5:00, which she promptly ate, and from that point was finally settled for the day.

This dog doesn't do "wrenches" in her day. It throws her for too big of a loop, and sends her into doggy hysteria.

As I was making the boys lunch this morning I was busily asking her that if I wasn't around for the day to make the boys lunch, that she would know exactly what to do. She sits and intently watches as I butter & mayo three slice of brown bread, then I carefully add the cheese, the ham and then the lettuce. The tip of her tail starts to wag furiously when the cheese and ham are unwrapped. I like the fact that she is quite polite about waiting for her bits and bites to come her way, she knows once she has had her cheese that treat time is over, and for one last horrah she pokes her faces in the fridge and just stands there not touching anything, taking in the sights and smells as her tail gently wags.

I did throw a wrench in her day when I decided to leave the sliding glass door open, so she could wonder around outside and be free. I couldn't believe it when I returned from taking the girl to school, that in fact the couch loving Elspter was still in the great big outdoors. I guess I should be wary of the skunk that is roaming around these parts, so I am living life on the dangerous side.

I am heading outdoors now. I must continue with my front yard reno. I have about three wheelbarrels full of excess dirt that I need to move around the yard. I guess the grass will be getting a dirt reno today, on top of a garden reno. I have to make some big gains today as the weather is about to stop cooperating with me and is supposed to be "maybe kinda sort of" rainy over the weekend. Normally I wouldn't care... but this weekend I am off.

I will quietly leave here and go and get the rope for the front yard.. where I wil tie our crazy Elspter to. She doesn't mind being tied to a tree, at least that way she can see out front, and doesn't have to freak out that she is in the backyard while I am in the front. She doesn panic the very second that I say "I will be right back, so don't go anywhere..." ( like she has a choice being tied to the pretty coloured leafed japanese plum tree that I dislike at all other times of the year, including the fall because the leaves are chincy and are hard to rake. ( I noticed tons of ants climbing it yesterday... perhaps they will eat it from the inside out, and my worries will be over!) But should this happen, and I get a replacement... they better look out if there are any attempts at a takeover... the rules will have changed by then.

First I must silently steal the keys... without Miss Worriwort hearing me...