Burgundy brown.

That's my hair colour.

I washed it today .... the water ran pink.

I pay actually money for this, this is not a mistake ... I repeat .. NOT A MISTAKE. How the hell have I gone from "once upon a time" looking like Snow White ... to mother of the year in the hair styling department ... ?

This hair could win awards in the prettiest flower colour of fall ... I am the perfect PANSY colour !!

I spent the day hunting ... BIG time hunting ... not big game mind you ... HOWEVER .. it was a big game to try and find what EXACTLY I was looking for .. which is a knitting pattern! I want to knit a particular type of sweater jacket ... and it's taken me hours to LOOK for something that MIGHT be the best thing to put together ... !! Of course we have to keep in mind that I am a fairly amateur knitter ... so big projects have to be on the simpler playing field ... there's trade off's you know !!

And WEIGHING in heavily in "trying to not overthink shit" ... is this whole bullshit that I have happening inside my left chest ... WTF ... waiting for "the next test" to confirm what SHOULD NOT BE GOING ON ...

And now ... settling back to my next baddest boyfriend in town ... BOB ROSS !!!!

Are you FREAKING kidding me ...

I hate cancer. As anyone should. I really fucking hate it.

On my agenda this week: going to see the Lego Man ... for the start of the rebuild of the leg that is missing due to cancer ...

Then ...

Ring Ring ....

Hi this is Deanna ...

This is Dr. GP's office ... Dr GP would like to see you in follow up.....

Oh OK ...

Make the appointment .. The End.

Now I am left waiting to FIND OUT  what the fuck they found on the CT.

Mini breakdown ... fortunately a friend was here ...

Sue helped me through the mini meltdown.

THEN ... HI .. It's Dr Onccologist calling ... The CT Abdomen was clear ... except that they saw something on the left breast.

Ya ... but what about my NEW LEG that I am going to try on NEXT WEEK....  that is what my plans were ... those were my FREAKING plans ... not visiting the GP to deal with a new found suspicios something.

No Humour here today ..... other than ...

I got my hair coloured ... so now it's burgundy in flavour .... !! 

Hey Lady - over here!

So today I went for a CT Scan ... they had a pretty little look at my abdomen. Not that there is anything wrong with it, that I know of. Life will go to holy terrors of hell if it comes back that they have detected something.. as NOTHING should be living inside of me. Except for that gerbil, in my knee, when I am laying on my stomach, and bending my "little leg" up and down. What an UGLY feeling that is ... hence why I say I have a gerbil living in me ..

So that CT Scan dye is pretty awesomely cool ... and I did not notice "this" before as the dye flushes through your system ... and it crazily flushes ... then, just when you think you have been "scanned" into success .. your eyebrows slowly raise ... and now you are left feeling like you have peed your pants. Yes ... and then you lay on the table and think to yourself ... I really didn't pee my pants right ? The overwhelming flushing didn't wreck the boundaries of my bladder right ... ?

Fortunately ... all was well ... in the peeing of the pants department ... double PHEW!!!

And then, because adventures just get better and better ... I went to the MEAT store! Probably at this point, someone would be excited to go into the meat store. I was excited to GO to the meat store, not actually BUY anything at the meat store. Hence why the very hyped-up meat selling cow jockies kept calling out : "hey .. I can help you over here !" .... I turned them down ... four times.  I have a feeling that they have never been so happy to see someone leave their premises .... the one legged hopper with the walker left with nothing ... interesting ... I don't like meat. Except for bacon. Bacon is my friend ... and bacon (for me) is a completely edible interesting flavoured vegetable. For real.... so don't you faithful readers be "hey lady - over here" ... trying to point at me that it is ANYTHING different!

All the wrong ways! ~ sort of

Check out the eyebulbs on this crazy character. He knows 10,000 times over where he is NOT supposed to be ... so he quickly, and quietly tucks himself in, and immediately starts the sleeping process. He knows that as long as he sleeps stealthily, this not so stealth in the "kicking him out" department will leave him where he is. 

So many rules ... forever changing ... 

ON yesterdays life adventures ... 

I paid actual real live money to go sit in a gym, and scrapbook. Crazy ... ! or not !! I LOVED IT!! 

Life is a changing ... I can feel it in the winds. Well, I can see that life has changed .. cause this little guy stands at three times the height, doesn't wear fleecy jammies, we don't own linoleum from the 1970's any longer, and that wood paneling is gone. AND the "wild west" CD, is long, and wild gone!! This little Bobe-dee sang along to "rawhide" .. and stomped up his feet .. and gee ODD, was a performer at this tiny of an age!!  All the worry and unknowns about raising children right ... "what will they become" ....well  at this very moment .. the boyson is currently reading a book about the first world war, which involved elephants. For real. That's what he has become ... a huge history LOVING, piano playing, song writing musician. Wowser mowsers ...this is definitely something that ISN'T the wrong way!

And ... moving on.

So I think it was about this time last year that the final confirmation came in about this foot. It was around this time last year that I was looking forward to January ... I wanted to skip the fricken December month, and move straight on into January. The Truth. How odd, no?

ANNND ... here we are almost a year of waiting ... but now for different things !! GAWD.

Life around here can be at times a bit montonous ... although .. I have to admit .. I have had good opportunity to "chill" ... for an extended period of time. In fact, unbeknownst to you, (ever so avid reader), I probably have stolen some of your "chill time" ... by pure osmosis.

Feeling ripped off now a little, I'm guessing ... ?

I know right !?

So I was doing a little contemplating this morning ... what the hell happens when I have obligations forced upon me ... what the hell am I going to do then .. ? Now that I have stolen most of mankinds "chill time" ... because .. in reality .. I have turned into a professional at it.

I will admittedly say ... that pretty much from morning till night, I am busy. Busy somehow. Busy being not really busy, but busy. Engaged. Doing something. Professional hour filler. Hand me your boredom, and I will fill your plate with "something".

This "chill time" could accurately be described as a prison sentence, ... and the days out, are escorted day passes. How lovely of a thought process. As I do not required electronic monitoring ... cutting off the leg managed that little problem. In the meantime .. I am exactly that ... an excited furry creatured beast ready to hit the road for any kind of car ride that will come for me!

Well in things way more exciting:

So I have had the opportunity to go scrapbooking for the day tomorrow. I have KNOWN about it for months upon months, and yes, upon months. Guess who is not ready? I mean really ... not ready ... that would be ME ... shit! I have contemplated my DAY LONG project ... and have come up with NOT MUCH !!! I have ideas upon ideas roaming in my brain ... and I have YET to get things organized ... so that will happen, post blog post. Trust me ... I am a professional ... !! Laughable ... 

And in other things that are weighing on my mind that I wish to divulge at this time ... so the leg is about an "eencie-weencie" amount worth of healing to go on .. and this bitch leg is DONE! done done done done done ... and done. It will be ready for the next phase of leg-less-ness ... and that is LEGNESSNESS .... hopefully I can be scanned ... and let the designing begin. MUCH to most readers grand disappointments ... I am going with a regular boring run of the mill leg ... one that pops on, and gets me places. This crazy woman does not require a STATEMENT of intactness ... meaning that I do not need designs & tattoos and flourescent colours screaming at me that I have a story .. christ ... everyone has a story ... EVERYONE ... mine, like EVERYONE's doesn't need to be plastered across the world stage for all those to wonder ... so pretty excited about THIS PHASE. I can't say that I was feeling this level of excitement LAST year at this time ... and now moving onnnnnnn .... 

Seriously Santa

So ... while I was cleaning out one of my cupboards a number of weeks ago .. I found a purple shimmery box. It was intriguing to me .. I knew there was something of completely NO value, except I did find some christmas ornaments. These guys needed some colourful TLC. What a project.

As GUILT has an evil way of commanding what happens in your life ... I decided that I couldn't possibly LIVE another christmas without having these ornaments all coloured and bedazzled in christmas craziness.

So now .. I sit ... and paint .. and fuss,... and paint ... and fuss ... and waste a whole bunch of time contemplating the colour red ... because as luck would have it ... I have managed to find myself a whole bunch of Santa's ... really, seriously santa!

IN other things of whimsy and value ... !!! .... A rather large expense will be purchased  NOW,  in the next coming months ... so I have managed to heal up this little leg!!!! Another week or so .. and off I go to catch a new leg ... or the process of getting a new leg ... hooray for the two legged-ness! So excited to be a believer in things do eventually work out!

Virtual Nothingness

Ok seriously ... how does one almost do nothing all day ? Is that even possible I ask? Because today is the day I perfected practically virtual nothingness. AND not for the real intention of doing nothing ... but accomplishing actual nothingness without actually trying for complete nothingness. Let's just label this full on loser award!

Well .. not really ...   I did stuff that I would simply like to label as "stupid shit" ... things that are just annoying unto themselves that the instant you complee the task .... it is just that easily forgotten ... like wiping down the bathroom counter with the lysol wipes because you don't really want to "actually" clean the counter with like ... stuff ... you know, that kind of time saving factors. (From the woman with LOTS of time on her hands!)

However in other nothing filled events ... I didn't even use my magical lights. AT all. How is that possbile ... since I don't actually have to be up scurrying about getting ready for "work life" stuff ... christ ... once one slips down that slope ... it's a helluva way to try and crawl back up ... gawd ... even the dishes did not get re-distributed to the cupboards ... Ok .. again LAZY ASSNESS ... sort of ...

I failed to mention that yesterday was a triple duty in the hopping department, and the cycling department, and going out department, and in the standing department, and therefore extra pressure in the hands being numb cause they are tired department ... so today ... being a little on the nothing side was probably virtual goodness ...

AND then I went through and got rid of bits and pieces of paper n junk, and folded laundry and did dumb dumb exercises that keeps this leg from totally getting smaller in the muscle department... and then hung out with the boy and the girl and the lovely friend that took me out wheeling, which lead to us talking to a fairly funny neighbour ... so all in all ... the day of virtual nothingness isn't really nothing .. just not a lot of accomplishments of great stupendous things !!

No worries though ... the minnie mouse wheeling will resume it's activity tomorrow ... 

A workers guide to retirement

Ok ... so first things first.

One MUST work.

Well now there's a situation.

The End.

I just got home from a retirement "do". This lady "did" a lot. I will not compare myself to her. But gawd damn ... one can not HELP but compare their lives ... like "holy crap" ... where did she get the time, and all the vision ... to put forth change in so many ways !! And yet ... she is still very young ... VERY young ... and now what does retirement look like for her ... because THOSE ideas do not stop, that forward thinking, being a mentor to so. many. people.

So I think I still have "some time" left to make an impact. On something.

But GAWD what ... ?

And that is WHY my book on a workers guide to retirement will be a short non-descript snippet of words that simply says ... "And now, the adventure begins!"

In my non-retirement form I am fortunate to wake up everyday and ask myself ... "what is the goal for the day?" How do you foresee your day unfolding? Is there room for solitude, or spontaneity? Is it colourful, or is it planned out ? Big or small, I equate my days to adventures, even mini adventures, I am not changing peoples lives minute by minute, but I do add to the equation of "my peoples" lives, and that is important. Somedays.

In other things that are way less boring ...

I put my paints away for a titch of time. In reality, it's a make work project just to get them out again. That should be fun. NOT. However; in the meantime, I will carry on with my New York colouring book, and practice the art of turning a black and white picture to colour via pencil crayons.

Somehow it just doesn't seem worthy to talk about accomplishments, and "shoes to fill", retirement, and colouring ... "Hi ... I am here for our colouring date!" .... ya, not so much.