OK..

First and foremost.. this bloody blogger will not remember me... EVER! Damn them.... I have lost so many cookies, the toilet is now giving back; or better yet... I am stealing them... from tiny little children.

Secondly.... I need help.... one glass of wine and then this happens:

(I write my friend a SIMPLE email back to work):


somehow simple doesn't make it into the memory bank after being filled with red wine.. OK, a freaking glass.... GGGGAAAAWWWWD.

OK... I would soooooo love to not come to work. But I have this problem, I am not sure if you would know about it.... it's someone with the name of BILL that continuously follows me around god damn it... I am not sure if you have a BILL stalker as well, but this person seriously has my number.

ah aha hahah ahhaha ah ahah

You shouldn't send me such tempting emails. I would love just to not show up.. but then of course I would have to be a home where I am not required anyways on the weekends, as the family becomes very dysfunctional with the mother in the midst.

Besides... I might even have a reason to come to work.. someone wants to buy my dog barrier.... and she is willing to pick it up at RCH. So you know, I stand to make 40 bucks! (She found it on craigslist!).

AND... coming to work is a rest from the routine. Although of course the day itself has it's own routine, and some days that just makes me nuts... (refer to the email that started this letter)...whine whine.. will get me no where.

So I have a letter to send to the CEO, I just need to send it. I wonder if I could get a job out of it... my problem of course is that I have to send the letter. I live such a challenging life.

I saw a bear earlier... speaking of writing letters... I wrote another letter to the conservation officers and asked them if they had blown away another bear this week in our neighbourhood...( have only heard of suspicion of black bear murders). they haven't given me an answer yet. If I don't show up for work one day... just assume that I have been blown away by a conservation officer... as I will be standing in the way of him and the intended target... (black bear).

My girl seems to be walking around in a bit of a delirious state. Poor thing. I was really hoping that the tylenol would have kicked in, clearly it hasn't. I took her to the walk in clinic on the hunch that she had a sore throat, and it could be of the infectious kind. I was right... even the walk in clinic doc couldn't believe his eyes. She claimed it was just a bit sore...he said he didn't believe her, as the throat was beyond nasty. The antibiotics need another day to make her better. Poor chicklet... and I thought that the fact that she had given up eating was due to just not being hungry, and being excited about the end of school. (She tends to be like that... of course she also tends to love food....).

OH... finally. I am feeling warm. (*this comes with the aid of a glass of red wine). In fact I think I am tingling. I wonder if I have been bit by a rattle snake ( ... I saw that on the news in the 60 seconds that I watched it today).

Tomorrow is going to be tricky. I have a walking group that I need to attend, a teacher gift to buy (out of guilt), grade 5 leaving ceremonies & try and convince Gramerica (the boy) to join us on our annual end of the year lunch date (the boy, being 13 1/2 is a bit tricky to TRICK into joining us for lunch, perhaps I will break down and buy the 59.00 lunch at Red Robin... that just might include icecream... )... although... I could put a gentle reminder in his head that he had horrible GAS- PAINS-THAT-LEAD-TO-YOU-KNOW-WHAT after an abundance of food that he ate yesterday.. so maybe he will just wish to join us, without over indulging.

Well, this time last night I was watching the rats scurry around the Kal-Tire parking lot. It was extremely special. (We will not talk about the husbands new JEEP toy thingy breakdown.., and then I call the brother in law, who picks up the husband, and then they leave me with the JEEP, so somebody doesn't steal the rims...) Of course I did not want to move to far away from the huge cement bricks that were keeping me warm (and backed up against something so I could see any predators approaching), and yet I needed to stay far enough away from the rats to keep from screaming! Then of couse I wanted to duck a bit when I saw someone unloading boxes in a green volvo... I thought for sure that I was going to be blown away now that I had just seen "the transfer" go down. BUT... I did not fear... as I felt secure in knowing that I had just realized I had ONE bar left on my cellphone.. to make that all important 911 call...... just a minute.....the girl is moving about the home... (I am not certain why shower curtains are moving...)... OH, she seems to be back to her normal state, the tylenol has kicked in... now she is putting polysporin on all of her mosquito bites)... OK, back to the story...so, I felt safe in knowing that I had not just witnessed a transfer, because eventually a woman with a little toddler came out of the home ( not that this has stopped anyone before)... but you know.. I just felt safer. The husbandman was kind enough to call when they were heading back to the vacant-and-yet-eerie Kal Tire parking lot. I just hoped he hadn't wasted my last bar on a "hey honey we're coming for the JEEP, I mean YOU!" call. OH.. shockingly.. I am still alive today.

So that is it for me.. I have more, but you know... this is work email and alll... I should have sent this to your home. I wonder if I drink more wine if it will make me smart...yes, I am doomed.

OK.... see you SATURDAY....I guess at this point it would be pretty shitty to say... I'll work all of Saturday, and if you want you can work all of sunday... that wouldn't work either... you know, if I would have my way I would help the world... (That is what I do Monday thru Friday anyways... , I should continue on the weekends). I am sorry that you could not be with YOUR PEOPLE at Whistler.... that would have been lovely. I am sad for your sadness that you can not be there. Working is just not good for our lives... it just isn't... and yet... in a weird way it helps us.

Just before I send this I will copy and paste... I like the all true to life terrrifying paragraph I just wrote... ( I failed to mention the truck that did a couple of circles in the parking lot a number of times, and the crazy security guard with the rotweiller sticking out the passenger window as well....all looking at woman leaning against some huge bricks in a vacant parking lot.....) SEE ... SEE.... this is why I am crazy.