Note to self:

These are the reasons why I need to stop being a parade junkie:

1. I attract the freak shows.
2. Number one is the absolute truth.
3. All the freaks make it my way, and when one moves one, another shows up.
4. Freak show people amuse me, so it's kind of hard to concentrate on a parade.
5. No sooner did we pick a space along the street that was actually kind of a bus stop bench, but wasn't a bus stop - then a lady and her backet of "trinkets" asked to join us.
6. She was interesting. I liked the way she spoke and only her lips moved. Quite fascinating, and I was intrigued with her for the many hours that it took to watch the parade, and her.
7. Trinket ladies always have friends. ALWAYS.
8. I had the big target on my back when the bobbling headed "eight dollar an hour moving to Mission lady" showed up, and started chatting. Lucky me. She was also interested in the Vancouver Drill Team... except that she didn't take my word for it, and stepped out onto the road, and watched from the centre... then she decided that I needed to know from the centre of the road, and proceeded to yell over the crowds of people that were beginning to amass. Once again, lucky me.
9. Trinket lady and the bobbling headed "eight dollar an hour moving to Mission lady" began to exchange words. I thought trinkets and bobbly earrings were going to be tossed, but it was taken down a notch, when Trinket lady offered up a seat to the bobbling headed "eight dollar an hour moving to Mission lady". Which is the reason I know that fact about the "almost" Mission lady.
10. Benches are for sitting only. The Pip decided that she wanted to stand next to me at the parade. I was leaning on the "maybe a bus stop" bench, and then Pip stood behind and leaned to. There was a towel that was wrapped in a plastic bag which was left in the very location, where Pip was going to sit, when she made it back there. The bench had been soaked in wetness due to the pre-parade downpour. BUT.. as luck would have it... I came prepared with bags and towels. (horray!) But then... to ruin our fun......
11. Be watchful of bench seat thieves. First of all, I have to say, we got to the parade a tad bit early. Like an hour early. The parade didn't start until 11:00 (minus the exeption of the freak show happening all around me). But of course I had to be early to watch the Vancouver Drill Team... so we arrived nice and early.. at 10:00. Which is howcome we managed to scoop the "bench" seats. Along comes this girl... with an older woman. She decided that she would like Pip's spot on the bench. The Bench Thief Woman asked me for the spot... then I had to say that the Pip was sitting there, but for the moment, she was standing next to me. The next thing I know, the woman has got her leg up on the bench, and is leaning next to the Pip, crowding her into me. We are standing so smushed together, that the Pip can't make it back to her spot. Then the Bench Thief Woman leans sideways to grab at her 97 year old counterpart, and I "very gently" shove the Pip back to her bench location. I immediately turn my head to the right... as if I know nothing about what has just taken place. The woman scowled and scowled at me. My thoughts: save the scowl you idiot... if you knew you were coming to a parade, how about a little insight into the fact that the 97 year old counterpart might not want to stand and watch the entire gala event, and maybe bring along a chair... or how about... better yet... arrive early, like we did. JESUS! Eventually she moved on. (( Now before you go all nuts that I am a human hater.. I am not... I assessed the situation of the OK-maybe-she-isn't-97-years-old little lady... and if she really couldn't have been able to hold her own... I would have been able to tell... it's just the assuming of other's that really pisses me off... and by this point in the parade, there wasn't any more room to find a spot to watch the parade.. as we were now surrounded with people... so come on....!))
12. OH... then there was the Toonie Ticket Lady. I liked this part about her.. all sweet and smiles, and "would you like to buy a toonie ticket???"... to the crowd of us... and she didn't have any takers... BUT THEN.... she finds a friend to talk to. ... and in what other language does she decide to speak.. but "SUPER TRUCKER". OK, I know that I am the queen of the language arts department.. but I do not spew as this lady spewed... and when passer bys came her way... she oozed sweetness. Almost like soda pop with an extra three spoons of sugar added.
13. Of course I can not forgot the guy from "the shaver shop". He wins the award for every mother's nightmare of a "slimeball boyfriend tragedy". I pointed to him, and said to Pip, don't ever bring anyone like that around our house, K? I didn't tell her why, she just said, "K". Hopefully we are in full agreement on this level. he was creepy and slimey, and then to boot, he spit. Nice.
14. Aaahhh... lucky number 14... I should have written this paragraph on thirteen... and then forwardsd evil eyebrow karma thoughts to the sushi store owner ... she kicked the PIP out of the doorway of her "establishment", as it was only for customers. Of course on the way out the sushi store owner lady was confronted by the crazy mother of the PIP, and got an earful about being hugely unkind, and not letting a frightened girl wait for a lousy three minutes so the VERY LOUD canon to pass along on the parade route. And..... "shame on you for being so unkind". And then... Oh look, the restaurant is empty......."
15. And then of course, what's a parade without some very young teenage mom to have to watch her parent her little child. I was interested in her particulars, but I stayed silent. Which amazed me, as she proceeded to stand in front of us. All three of us that is... but we all stayed silent. Life must be hard enough for her. Now that I can tell.
16. The best is saved for last: this all could have been averted had I waited to watch it on the cable channel... this very evening, at 6:30. Silly me... I hope I remember this for next year.

Another parade...

I was looking on one of the neighbouring cities websites at their schedule of events... I found out that the Vancouver Police Drill team will be performing at 10:15.

NOW THIS IS AN EXCUSE FOR A PARADE!!

Who cares that it might be raining....!!

Off I go... with the chicklets in tow.
The Boy ripped from his "gaming", and a girl now called BANGSY!

Canopy of green

 

Things were going along smoothly..

The Pip was busy being a nine year old yesterday evening. Doing things that nine year old girls do, like dance in their bedrooms with slippers on, in celebration of finding the hardwood floor. Or, sitting at her desk, now that she could see it, and contemplate all of her billions of trinkets that were littered all over it, but still celebrating the fact that she wasn't forced to yell 'AVALANCHE' every time she drifted past it. Things were going so smoothly... up to and including her hair combing adventure. The Pip decided that she wanted to comb her hair, in her room, sitting at her desk.. while daydreaming. Things were good, she had a lovely PIPish smile on her face, and when I inquired what she was up to..."Oh, I'm just putting the comb through my hair..." She had a small strip of hair from the front of her forhead that she was busy enjoying pulling the comb through. She was quite proud of this fact, and showed me of her great talents. I let her be and carried on doing "evening things"... Not two minutes later she walks out into the kitchen. "How do I get this comb to uncurl the front of my hair?" she says. My eyes become riveted to her forhead, where now that beautiful clomp of hair is wrapped tightly around the comb, and has taken up permanent residency, like a bow on a birthday present.

I then begin the jigsaw adventure of trying to untangle her thick blond locks from the combs tight grip. Fortunately I was able to unravel some of the hair, and save her from "razoring" the comb free. Eventually I had to cut the comb out. I just didn't have the "comb unravelling talents" that all mothers should possess.

The important thing is ... the PIP looks cute in her new bangs.

It's all about being shallow you know....

There's a hole in my bucket.

Actually there are two holes in the bucket. I am referring to the lovely and silly catdog currently bucketheaddog. We have renamed our furry princess "bucket"... she even comes when she is called .... "Come on in bucket....!" we say to her, and she wags her tail. She really is bored of her bucket, although she still has a keen interest in licking away her worries, on her hind end. The bucket is helping to cure her of her ailments...

Princess Buckethead still has not gotten it all together with the bucketwearing mind you. She is still slamming into things, and getting stuck underneath the table and between the chairs. Poor Buckethead doesn't realize that she has a bucket on her head. We have been taking the bucket off her head... to give her a break, as well as us, and the walls a break too.

In other things that are less interesting....

We brushed the Pip's hair today. She doesn't brush her hair very often, if ever... she said in a sweetly mannered voice that "it's not her thing". Now I know how dread locks are made... I guess all these people claimed it wasn't "their thing" either. When I finally was able to drag a brush through it, and pop a lovely side slant french braid on it... the "do" was magnificent.. it looked raidiantly blond against her navy blue sweater. Then I had to dump tea tree oil in it... just so the lovely "licey" bugs that travel by the trillions in their classroom.... stay away from her crowning glory.

I am a sucker...

I am a Sudoku sucker that is. Apparently it is good for your brain. I am not sure if it is good for my brain... I am finding it quite painful to accomplish.. But I will keep plucking away at it. Not that I don't have other things to do.. But maintaining the brain is on the "other things" list. I think I have to get the hang of factoring out numbers. Good grief!

In other things "sucking".....

I cleaned out underneath the bathroom sink earlier. It's a good thing it was garbage day... holy smokes did I ever manage to fill up the newly emptied garbage can.

The weather is a LARGE bit to be desired... if it's not raining, it's POURING!

Back to my puzzle... not that I want to... I am sucked in....

Ooops, the wall fell down

The Husbandman/demolisher has been every so cautiously removing parts of our living space. He effortlessly removed the hollow and crooked laundryroom wall on Sunday. The demolisher man also ripped up the floor. Interestingly we now have a "sunken laundryroom". Quite a nice feature to any modern home.... if you like broken ankles from falling sideways with the over stuffed laundry baskets... The demolisherman will fix that certain feature to the homestead, although he was quite amazed at the previous home builders idiocy in the home building process. There is nothing like digging up a floor to a laundry room, and finding strips of wood to make up the height difference in the floor. We now only have one backdoor again, and not the "two side by side" backdoors as we had last week. I think we are the reality show of "extreme home makeover", except for the fact that we are the one's that are paying for this.

Chasing the last few remnants of Spring
The Pipness of trouble!

 

Ceasar Salad Sadness

Last night, in a great attempt to appear all chefly & cookingish like... I threw together some form of exciting dinner. It really was. The family were very much in love with the mother that can throw dinner about... and the thrown about dinner even got eaten too. It's a highly regarded skill... I believe, at least I think it is.

So last night while I was busy throwing, I paused for the momentary forgiveness of salad dressing. Yes, salad dressing forgiveness is the foremost in my mind when I am going to "splash" the salad with a little "dressing".... I put my hand over the label with "the amounts of badness" that were going to enter into the wonderful salad. I threw caution to the wind... and dumped away. I was complimented heavily on the wonderful tasting salad... Yes, people, yes it is wonderful... with all that "bad salad dressing". Now, you may wonder why I don't just buy the low fat stuff. Well, I have done that many times... and dumped out a multitude of salad dressing containers and let many "heads" of romaine go untasted... see it's all bad. If you "go low", then nothing gets eaten, and if you "go bad"... it's rad... and more get's eaten.

This evening I put together another Ceasar Salad.. with just one tablespoon of the "bad" stuff... there were no compliments, or yearnings for more... it was all for me, myself, and I.

Yes, all in a day of the Ceasar Salad Sadness.

Things you can accomplish on a Saturday

It's just lovely not going to work on a Saturday... OH, I should say... ABSOLUTELY lovely. I think maybe I might find a real job... where you actually work... during the week...it's a novel idea. Yes, I am thinking that 8 1/2 years of 11.5 hour Saturdays is enough.... now I have to plan my escape....

In other Saturday accomplishments....

The girl and I crafted up some paper clothing fashion thing at 0800 this morning. I think this sort of thing is for card making and such... except that the girl just wants to craft up clothes with the fashionable paper... I was working with all my might not to SUGGEST that fur and summer dresses do not go together... OK... I think I may have let that one slip...

My hands have finally quit aching from yesterdays weedfest pulling non-event that occured in our backyard. Well, they have kind of quit aching... now the ache is just a constant dull "feeling" roaming through them. Although... it helps with the piano practicing... I certainly can't feel them "ping & sting" when I plop my way through the music... did I just say plop.. I mean plunk... I pick at the piano keys, then plunk for good measure....

I cleaned out my closet today... OK, so I'm a liar... I attempted to clean out my closet today... which I did accomplish that, sort of kind of.. but I wasn't able to part with a number of my boxes... especially "Clark's" boxes.. they are just so freaking durable... and you just never know when you need a durable box at the ready. If our house ever burns down... the flames will sprint to the closet... because there will be lots of "kindling" available for the blazing ball of fire...

I made a list of "things" that I needed from the store. This concept worked quite well... including the fact that I remembered to take the list with me. I will have to try and remember this again sometime.... with the clincher being.. if I remember.

Wow... I talked to the neighbours.... a most bizarre experience... only because I talked to the neighbour guy for an hour and a half in the driveway... I think it's a relaxed Saturday thing... plus he was finished "polishing" his mid life crisis car. The husbandman even called twice looking for me... too bad I couldn't tell him to hurry home from work.. so he could BBQ up the groceries that I had just brought home...

While in the middle of cleaning out the bathroom I decided that it was time for the Pipster and I to go shopping. I think I am in love with the randomness of a Saturday. OH!... and a most startling experience.. coming from me.. I decided to make pancakes out of the blue... I never even think about "creating" pancakes on a non busy occasion... due to the technical nature of the "dishes"... post pancake eating...(this acknowledgement once again keeps me out of the running for the mother of year award.. that is always so far out of my reach anyways.. I am certain now, I am down another rung on the ladder).

AND.. finally .... I just so happened to steal a glance at our friends kitchen.... I have been slowly sliding down the steep & deep dark path of BLACK appliances.... and once again... I may have been swayed.... I am comforted and scared in the knowledge that BLACk hides the grime... oh what to do... what to do... I think in the meantime.. I will hope for a completed laundry room.... which I may add.. that the dryer has finally stopped squeaking now that it's hit a new corner... maybe all it really wanted was a window view to the great outdoors... so for now it's silent...and I'm happy....

The next Mr. Blue Eyes

 

Ellie-May Clampet

 

The real reason to watch a parade..

 

What does five minutes a day get you?

A very happy piano teacher.

I have harped, harped and harped some more with the lovely Hamsterson to keep up with his piano practicing. I am quite proud to point out that I myself remembered to tell him to practice everyday. That in itself took some wizardly actions.OK, it isn't that great of a feat, given the size of our house, and the fact that a large black object takes up one wall that we continuoly pass by during different of the evening. Yes, in actuality it was more like under five minutes a day. The Hamsterson would play his two pieces once over, flick the switch off the digital piano, and say he was done. If that's as much as he will do, then that's as good as it gets. The Hamsterson had a friend over last week and just as we were leaving, I tricked the Hamsterson into playing for his friend, hence the everyday practicing approach. He was very happy to oblige.

In under five minutes a day... there is a large amount of happiness...

I just don't DO those words

I have never coughed up a lung, had some lung chunks, lost a lung coughing, or exhaled a lung while coughing.

I find the whole visual on those last thoughts a bit oogey. Very oogey. I have had three people today tell me about their lung ailments... all of which have left me with very bad afterthoughts of the actual descriptions they have given me... PLEASE... save the poor tortured visual souls from any further lung torture treasure stories...! I don't mind long stories, but I can't do lung stories.

In other things yucky....

I have parked about 30 bamboo sticks in my front garden... to keep both of the neighbours shitting cats away. This is when I wish I had my dear-but-dead dog Evil Queen Cicely still... there wouldn't be any cats coming visiting any day soon.

And one more gruesome tail... how about this neighbourly gesture.... I flipped the dead bird that I found lying in my driveway to the neighbours driveway... they have a cat, plus they have a birds nest in the eaves of their house... I am full of evil forces today.

What's this I see...

Nothing says a Stalker Sister like when the "Stalker" arrives at my house first, sits in the driveway in her wonderful air conditioned Pathfinder. As I walk up to the driver side window, she is waiting impatiently with her shades down low on her nose and says ...."get in".... Yes, she's a stalker alright.

But things can't happen that quickly around these parts... as I had to figure out what to do with the silly catdog, now turned buckethead. She chewed her hind end something beyond silly yesterday... and went for a stat visit to the vet. Upon her return, she had a bucket on her head. She isn't fairing too well with it yet... as everywhere she goes and turns, she rams herself into people, places and things. Although the bucket has proven to be usefull so far, as it catches the antibiotics that she spits out quite nicely at me. So it is helpful in that sense.

Back to stalker issues... with the silly catdog buckethead safely tucked in on the leather couch... I immediately took up my regular shot gun seat inside the Stalker Sister's vehicle.Although I was a bit disappointed in the "open window" concept, as it was already heating up pretty quickly for being this early into the day. She already had our day planned out for us. Which is interesting.. because I already had my day planned out for me... and it didn't include anything to do with Stalker Sisters.. but I fear her you know... plus I like her... because she makes me laugh... and she keeps me away from yicky houseworky things...so I can be easily swayed...

the rest of the day goes like this: the London Fog's that we were going to purchase ended up being a breakfast blip at Whitespot, and they tried to serve the Stalker Sister burnt toast... where she turned her head and looked around and said.. "it's not busy in here, I want toast that isn't burnt please"... then we made it to the big box place where the store only opens at 10:00, and the tills have a ten deep line-up at 10:10. We dashed over to the Home Depot to collect more dirt and mushroom manure.. because we like to do that sort of thing. Of course we had to look at more pesticide stuff to rid our world of the ant population. I used this opportunity to show the Stalker Sister the nasty sticky traps that catch mice.. which grossed her out, as much as they did to me last week, when I saw them for the first time. She helped me haul my dirt, manure and water out of her vehicle.. then we both decided that we needed to go grocery shopping. But that also meant that we needed to unload her vehicle of her bags and flats of items.. so we headed back to her house... then off we went grocerying together... we got separate carts this time.. because we didn't do that last time.. and I learned that the Stalker sister needs her own cart, otherwise she get's all nasty like. Sometimes I can be a quick study.. it helps in these sticky stalker sister situations. I am very happy to report... that I managed to collect 325 airmiles on my purchase today... and that wasn't a simple task... it involved staring into coupon books, and matching up items that didn't make sense to me... but it paid off. Well, I think it paid off.. I am not sure what I am going to do with all these airmiles... I was once upon a time going to go to Disneyland.. but I think I would only get to take me, myself and I... so I am not really sure if "them and they" are going to be able to come with me... but in them meantime I will continue to collect... When all was said and done, and the groceries were put away at the Stalker Sisters house.. it was 2:30 when I returned home.. and I was welcomed with a lovely and WET wagging tail...it was miss buckethead herself, WADING for me at the front door.... and it was at this point that I forgotten one teency weency schmeency detail to the day..... Miss buckethead was given a shot of a steroid yesterday that puts her kidneys into overdrive... which is the reason that she was busy being "Miss buckethead pee everywhere", as we came through the door. Nothing says welcome home like a pee ridden bucket headed silly catdog. It was at this point that I turned around and the Sister Stalker had scooted back to her Pathfinder, windows rolled up tight.. and a big smile on her borrowed lipstick lips.. and she waved, as she backed out of the driveway.... her stalking was done for the day.

Whamlilzuckled.

It's the word that I just came up with.

It represents the number of thoughts that are blazing through the brain at this moment.

In other things even less important...

Aras won on Survivor. Interesting. Although I think that Terry should have won. But that's just me.

It is freakingfriday hot here today. And I mean FREAKING.

I only did the 6 lap rainbow challenge tonight... the PIP kind of ran along next to me with her kite. There was no wind... only in the PIP's mind. We also have lots of lines and cables and things that dangle from poles around here. Yes, it was a very safe experience... it really is all about the PIP having fun.... who cares that the mother was freaking out with her kite runner abilities.... although we kept the string at a very safe distance.... the PIP only managed to almost run into a front of a new TOYOTA Forerunner, so there was minimal damage.

Must go rest the whamlilzuckled mind...

 
  

I am so!

The Stalker Sister accused me of not being a real gardener today. This didn't just happen once, but numerous times. I am not totally convinced of the reason why:

1. So what if I like to wear gloves, is it too much to ask that they should start out dry in the first place.
2. Big deal if I wont immerse my hands into her sludged out oak barrels.
3. Whatever if I don't like her soil composition, and it's too dry, then makes me sneeze.
4. OK, so I like to garden in the sunshine, and not iceberg conditions.
5. Ooops if I just wont stand in the wind and mix dirt.
6. Does it really matter that I do not like to get my nails dirty anyways?
7. I don't do bags of blooms.
8. So I stop and take pictures for a while... is there anything wrong with that?
9. I take no offense to wearing two DRY gloves for the left hand, I am adaptable sometimes.
10. It's nice to stand back, and enjoy the real gardener happy with her own self.

That Stalker sister... she certainly had a lot to complain about... but she eventually got the job done, especially with my helping hands....