that girl & other misc stories.

Just so you know..

The next number of stories might scare you... OK. Not really SCARE you... but I get the feeling that people might be frightened of the actual person on the other end of these stories, rather than the stories themselves. Just as an FYI.

That Pip of mine went to the mall with her friend. Quite scary. Yes, I should have been frightened, I told her to be smart with her money.. but wait.. she's blond. She doesn't comprehend that there is a stop light to the pot of gold at the end of her magical tunnel.

Just the other day I found a card... it cost 6.49. You have to be freaking kidding me... the card people really think that I am going to spend 6.49 for a card to the man I love. (choke sputter...but still love all the same)... You are right... I didn't buy it for I am not stupid... paper surely can't cost that much money, even with ink and a couple of words embossed on it. But then there's the PIP... she doesn't GET money. AT ALL. Damn you Lisa.. ! DAMN YOU!!! ( YOu see.. it was really me undermining the whole Grade 1 BB leaving - homeschooling-adventure.... ha ah ah ah ah ah ah)(don't ask people).. Ok not.. anyways... The PIP shows me her great CARD that she bought for her "da da"... guess the price... yes.. 6.49! OH.. that girl.....

In the meantime.. I am going to enter into the cheapbox zone.. and fill out a card, and write something nice in it. ( I will not mention that I almost took a picture with my phone of a card at the store the other day... just so I could remember the nice words that were written in it). I am truly pathetic. BUT A PROUD pathetic!

I don't believe that he really thinks that I am was going to buy a gift for him.. as I am not a gift giving wife. It's more like he is a present buying husband. AHA! I just thought of something for him... (as I am completely USLESS at originality... ) I am going to buy him a gift pass to the ice rink... so him and his BOYFRIENDS can skate with him. But you know.. in reality.. I am a gift of a wife... I let him do as he pleases (not that he wouldn't anyways.. but he doesn't need to know that), whenever he pleases. (Except for my SHORT stints in the casino world, but I need not mention that!)... (OH.. and neither should you... WHOEVER YOU MIGHT BE). But do not think that you hold ONE over my head... as I usually tell him of my adventures... eventually!

I wonder if I am RAMBO when it comes to RAMBLING. Now this is something that I am very good at. If only there was money attached to this... how SWEET.

oh.. DID I MENTION:

The other day I was thinking about walking poles. (You know ... the exercising kind... that cost anywhere from 60.00 - 80.00... of course I am of the CHEAPER SIDE OF LIFE mentality which I will directly blame from my SCOTTISH heritage of people that I never knew and just happened to have the last name of McKay ).. and my friend mentioned that for $20.00 you can take a course that will teach you how to learn with walking poles. I pondered the thought of picking up two sticks from GODS green earth, and then enroll myself into the one-day-walking-pole program, and wonder if THEY could teach me how to use the STICKS FROM GODS GREEN EARTH. I was sort of thinking that I would bring a hacksaw with me, that way if they weren't quite the right height I could immediately remedy that problem, and then I was also thinking that I might bring duct tape along ... in case they complained that I didn't have proper handle grips. Easily solved, on all accounts. Luckily my sister called me up, and TOTALLY inconvienced my simple life now that I do not HAVE to pick up children, and then asked me to pick up hers. What was I supposed to say.. NO... and besides.. her kids are so FREAKY FRIDAY cute..but I was inconvinced all the same, and I couldn't get any of my work done, and I didn't have time to enjoy the FRIDAY evening, and I didn't get my FRIDAY chores done.. but you know.. you just don't say things in life.. other than YES, I will help you. BUT.. somehow that all lead to GREAT KARMA... as I called my friend almost wishing to use her bathroom, but also called out of boredom because now I was WAITING for the nephews... I decided to call her again.. this time on her cell, or blackberry or whatever expensive item that she uses to communicate with her POSSE.. anyways she answered... I really wanted to scream... RELIEVE ME FROM MY TORTURE.. but I was composed and merely asked "where the hell are you?... are you coming to get your girl... great I will walk to your home.. even before she could almost say... Uh.. Deanna... why are you calling me...(the true psychotic self has been layed out for you folks, the inside look into my mind and the writing that follows suit... see!!! see how saved you are somedays from my CONSTANT natttering... )... anyways... the real story is... I see these SKI'S laying on somebodies lawn ( My friend told me that the guy had killed his wife.. wow, tough neighbourhood... and to think that this friend of mine was just complaining about the cougars... yes, one street down from your stomping ground LISALADY)... (Is that how you really became a cougar??? ssssssssssssssssss burn................ ha ah ahah a ahah). anyways.. LUCKY ME! I found some SKI poles! I can't wait to bring them to my walking group on Tuesday. I just can't wait! It should be so exciting... I am going to take them for a test run.. and just to trick people I am going to cut off the little circular thing that sits on tops of the points. I just can't wait. Surely the running den will take my 20.00 to teach me how to use ski poles as walking poles. I just wonder if this is going to have to be a remedial class. I bet they charge extra for that!

OK.. must fetch the handsomeson from the end of the road... down where they keep cars as pets.