Monday, July 22, 2013

It isn't Tuesday .. but does it really matter?

So back to Tuesdays with light girl. Just so you know .. that was a fake title, and a fake series .. it was just to get all you readers out there extra hyped .. that I really had great things to say. For gawd sake laugh reader laugh.

So I'm telling you ... this infrared light stuff is the BOMB ! BAM! Rocket launching WHAMS!! I'm not kidding you .. so says this light girl ... VERY SERIOUSLY now folks.

The poor little foot which for the sake of my audience ever coming back here will never see in picture perfect detail is healing up extra beautifully nicely. TAKE. MY. FUCKING. WORD. FOR. IT.


It's hard to type in all caps, and periods. Especially the big bad words that our mothers said do not say, except I seem to say them, and type them and they just leak out like jam out from your PB&J sandwich. WHICH ,... I haven't had one in a great long while. ... and it's not that I dont LOVE them .. cause I seem to LOVE many articles of food like substances which I do not indulge in ... that's cause I'm awesome. Uhmmm no .. .. more like terrified of consuming calories that could add an extra ounce of sugary goodness to this highly non exercising body ... which I will say is only temporary ... and has been only temporary for a while .. and while I have tried to do some exercise induced behaviours .. it has ended in a bit of a disaster in the foot healing department .. you tell me people ... how the FUCK do I fix that problem ... right .. with lettuce and carrot soup ... MINUS the PB&J sandwiches ... how do you argue with idiocy !

Onto other things ... more like, back to the LIGHTING of ways.

OK .. I fricking am not kidding you ... these infrared lights are healing this wound like no tomorrow !! It's bizarre in a way that well ... I have to bring these lights to the doctory types .. because if I were to be touting ... "SO yes ... lights are now healing my wound ..." there would be a 911 call so fast to the pretty green pastured place where white is the colour of the day, and meals are served in bio degradeable dishes ... I wouldn't know what hit me. So far, my offical black bag that houses this great device have kept the doctory types finger tips at bay. For today at least.

Nobody ever really knows the inner workings of ones mind. What are they really saying? I speak in code. Not many people know that I have this bloggy space where I am ramble on for days on end, with nothing really driving me to talk about .. except what comes to mind .. and a lot of shit comes to mind ... except ... I might not write it .. I write about other good things .. like gardenless adventures and my sincere love for people watching.,

Like I wrote yesterday .. OK .. well I finished writing it today FFS .... I went to that workshop. A hundred square feet of creativity. Well shit .. I have 1365 square feet of space right here, right now ... at my disposal ... and what do I do ... I choose to drive, and then get sorta lost, and then ... just when I think I'm really lost .. I find the place .. and THEN .. I go inside a building, where you are locked down tight .. cause the homeless park people dwell in the streets and in your doorways if you let them .. and spend time creating ... and I created something that I could simply could do RIGHT HERE .. in my massive 1365 footer ... I am a bill board for those idiotic commercials "What was I thinking?" ... and yet .. KEY WORD here people ... I was driven ... not by my imaginary driver CHUCK .. but from something inside that wishes to emerg ... I liked that 100 square feet of space. It opened up an opportunity ... when I walked thru that door ... mind you .. I'm not quite dred locking my hair yet, and for your viewing pleasure .. I won't quit shaving my legs. OH. YES. I. AM. JUST. THAT. OUT. THERE.

So our friends down the street headed out for an adventure ... all the way to San Diego. (No wait ... San Francisco .. what the hell !!! GET TO SAN DIEGO NOW !!) Should be fun. I liked San Diego, well and San Francisco  ... I would go back ... to drink a margarita, and eat in that same restaurant .. oh yes I would. I am waiting for my next adventuring adventure to inspire me ... although .. sitting in your vehicle waiting upon a grizzly might not be the rest of the families hit list of fun things to do. What a bunch of jerks! ha h aha ha ha ha . OK stop rolling your eyes that I am evil ... I was kidding ... it isn't fun waiting for grizzlys .. and they are jerks. Oh plz .. just havin fun with you now !

In case you haven't noticed .. which you wouldn't ... cause I know that many people aren't mind readers .. and my steel trap isn't an exception ... that I have been nattering for a great long while. This is called STALLING to the general folk. I am looking for things to write about ... because I just don't want to go outside and feed my beautiful planters life instilling watery goodness, and the fact that I have no lipstick on, and my shirt doesn't match my pants. Fuck, there, now you know. Oh ... and because I am working at optimum power cause I took some Tylenol for Arthritis ... that is way more powerful than Tylenol Extra Strength ... yes .. by a whopping 300 mg .. which is making a large difference in the ability to sit today for an extended period. Now you know all my secrets ... for the moment ... I'm certain to come up with another one any second.

Well ... The Fuss made an appearance into the kitchen ... the puppy boy would not relinquish his ball to her .. so she made her way back into her bedroom, told him he wasn't invited ... and shut the door on him .. where he then started having a hissy fit and started punching the door ... we are talking the dog here folks, in case you are confused .. so I had to lead him away, where he protested wildly ... I told him that maybe next time she offers to play with him, he better take her up on the offer .. because now he isn't allowed to sit on her grand day bed, with Ballou the hugely ginormous bear that our little Angus boy loves to visit daily .. well .. he likes to visit The Fuss to .. because it is her inner sanctum that gives him the friendly softness of the big freaking bear. Poor guy .. so unloved.

Speaking of unloved ... The Boyson better have his seatbelt on today ... he did an Instagram video  .. where he was cozied up with his sleeping bags .. enjoying the view from the back of the cool family (read TOURING) van ... because we live in a world full of cool technology .. I suggested that he might put that seatbelt back on ... "plz da jim" I said .... he sent me back a text ...    :)

Well .. typically on this day I am busily adventuring to the Senior Center for the group that I run. I am not the best runner in the world (ha ! now there's something funny !) ... I hope come this fall ... (a mere how many weeks away !) I will become better at doing shit. I think I will be .. not that I am all infrared light affected and all !!

My phone is telling me I am 100%. My phone is a fucking liar. How about I will let my phone know when I am actually 100% ... my phone does lots, tells lots, is capable of lots .. but what it can't do is tell me I am ONE hundred PERCENT. I mean really ... YOU already know my clothes don't match, and I still am not sporting lipstick .. AND my hair is messy. Well sorta messy ... I'm certain I could straighten out that problem .. if I cared to .. which at this moment I do not. That is until the JW's come to the door, and then that 2 seconds of shuffling this haystack will scare the living shit out of those do gooders ! OH .. now that is evil .. oh .. I apologize .. did someone say I was nice ? All that super recycling shit I do .... that's cause I need to get to the golden gates somehow .. where I can jump up and down at the end of line (cause I am a non budger) .. and wave my hand and proclaim .. remember all the garbage that I kept from the landfills ... remember I didn't leave a carbon footprint !! Ya .. that's me JC .. pick me !!  Sick rambling humour folks .. that's all it is ... it's stand up .. but rather splashed out in a type down. Try watching the comedy channel ... its' way worse than this boring hype.

I've moved on to my second cup of java. Not that the first didn't make a dent in this nutsoid ramble worthy story !! Well .. I'm only here to amuse myself and my loyal follower ... if they haven't rammed a fork in their eye yet.

I should craigslist writing ... someone that wishes to have someone that can write about truly nothing ... people will fill my inbox so fast that telus will send spies out as the cables will short circuit themselves from replies.

Currently I am busily believing there is a grow up across the street. Well ... being the newly dubbed investigative journalist that I am NOT ... I have decided that there has to be a storty there ... THERE just has to be GAWD damn it. ... what's the deal with the black truck, the fake kids, the unlucked brand new gas lawnmower, the odd timing as to when the place is occupied, and not occupied ... I mean seriously .. has to be a grow op .. NO?

You know .. I could go on for days .. I could be Mike McCardell .. finding stories where one would never dream of going ... and yet ... somedays you just got to shut it down, turn it off ... and say the end.

That would be now, after all, it's only Monday ... Tuesdays Light Series has to have something to report!

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