A number of days later, and I have re-appeared.
One would have thought that my return to driving seems to have unsettled the whole freaking universe. There were definite signs that "Mother Nature" was trying to one up me, this past Thursday. She and her universe of parading elements of weather forces did an excellent job of trying to keep me from my 0900 appointment.
Fortunately for the wonderful insight, and the middle aged mind & lack of sleep induced friend she left her home VERY EARLY in the morning to ensure that my arrival time for my "assessment" would not be interrupted by Mother Nature. And it wasn't.
The assessment itself wasn't very taxing, with of course the exception that I forgot that one needs draw lines from smaller numbers to larger numbers, to connect the dots. I won't go into detail, but the impact of the insult into how mortally wounded I felt in one short minute is rather life impacting. One that sorts through moments of their life, and resorts, and resorts again for good measure doesn't do well with this kind of information rattling on and on and on in their brain. .... THIS person had to say enough ... It was a less than a MINUTE in my life ... I need to stop thinking about this. And done.
In other things that have been interesting .. For a number of months I have ALSO been rattling through my brain ... Gas LEFT, brake RIGHT ... NON STOP. (This is where the O.C.D. Thing does come in handy !) ... And visualizing moving my foot from the gas on the LEFT, to brake on the RIGHT.
I got to drive a little car ... And drive I did !! I was a very smooth operator! After not driving for close to a year ... I managed to what I thought was absolutely reasonable..... I never slammed the brakes or mixed up my peddles ... I just cruised about .. And eventually made my way to way busier streets, and was able to drive the two folks in the car back to the business park. I did stop half way, and the O.T. Said that at that point it was generally determined whether one was fit to drive, and it was up to me if I wished to drive back to the business park. I gave it a moment's thought actually. Had I had enough for the day? Would stopping the driving at that point give the O.T. Reason to conclude that I didn't have the confidence to drive, or would this show that I was over confident in my thinking, and willing to take risks that I otherwise shouldn't. One does not know what an assessor is going to interpret. I chose to carry on, as I sort of considered this the moment of sliding off a horse ... It was important to get back up on this horse, and just continue on riding ... My ability to be successful was not hindered by the "opposite" way of thinking, or the fact that I was in a smaller car, driving in an unfamiliar location, or taking direction and instruction from somebody else, or the fact that someone was in the back watching every move I made, good or bad .. Like stopping over the the stop line, a beautiful habit of 34 years of driving ! I was able to curb that .. But probably not quickly enough.
Previously ... I was fortunate when I sat behind the little "make shift" driving apparatus ... tears welled up into my eyes .. And just said "this has just taken so long" .. I can't believe today has finally arrived, and I am here ... It is true, the time had whittled away into months upon months, and process after process, and hoops after hoops .. And amidst the momentary burst of tears that trickled from my eyes, I apologized saying that I wasn't sure if it would happen in the office, or in the car .. but at any rate ... They are really tears of rejoicing that I although I am still down a leg, I am making steps forward .. And there I sat on a wickedly blustery violent weather filled day, looking out a window, and sitting at a driving apparatus ... That was my moment looking out to the world, where freedom of confinement would be a thing of the past!
In things that were very great in my life that day ... I had my hilarious friend with me .... Where I can definitely thank "The Universe" for her and mine paths to cross ... Only 40 short years ago. OMFG .. Holy shit .. !!!! How the dust flies ... And just when I got the plumes settled !
One would have thought that my return to driving seems to have unsettled the whole freaking universe. There were definite signs that "Mother Nature" was trying to one up me, this past Thursday. She and her universe of parading elements of weather forces did an excellent job of trying to keep me from my 0900 appointment.
Fortunately for the wonderful insight, and the middle aged mind & lack of sleep induced friend she left her home VERY EARLY in the morning to ensure that my arrival time for my "assessment" would not be interrupted by Mother Nature. And it wasn't.
The assessment itself wasn't very taxing, with of course the exception that I forgot that one needs draw lines from smaller numbers to larger numbers, to connect the dots. I won't go into detail, but the impact of the insult into how mortally wounded I felt in one short minute is rather life impacting. One that sorts through moments of their life, and resorts, and resorts again for good measure doesn't do well with this kind of information rattling on and on and on in their brain. .... THIS person had to say enough ... It was a less than a MINUTE in my life ... I need to stop thinking about this. And done.
In other things that have been interesting .. For a number of months I have ALSO been rattling through my brain ... Gas LEFT, brake RIGHT ... NON STOP. (This is where the O.C.D. Thing does come in handy !) ... And visualizing moving my foot from the gas on the LEFT, to brake on the RIGHT.
I got to drive a little car ... And drive I did !! I was a very smooth operator! After not driving for close to a year ... I managed to what I thought was absolutely reasonable..... I never slammed the brakes or mixed up my peddles ... I just cruised about .. And eventually made my way to way busier streets, and was able to drive the two folks in the car back to the business park. I did stop half way, and the O.T. Said that at that point it was generally determined whether one was fit to drive, and it was up to me if I wished to drive back to the business park. I gave it a moment's thought actually. Had I had enough for the day? Would stopping the driving at that point give the O.T. Reason to conclude that I didn't have the confidence to drive, or would this show that I was over confident in my thinking, and willing to take risks that I otherwise shouldn't. One does not know what an assessor is going to interpret. I chose to carry on, as I sort of considered this the moment of sliding off a horse ... It was important to get back up on this horse, and just continue on riding ... My ability to be successful was not hindered by the "opposite" way of thinking, or the fact that I was in a smaller car, driving in an unfamiliar location, or taking direction and instruction from somebody else, or the fact that someone was in the back watching every move I made, good or bad .. Like stopping over the the stop line, a beautiful habit of 34 years of driving ! I was able to curb that .. But probably not quickly enough.
Previously ... I was fortunate when I sat behind the little "make shift" driving apparatus ... tears welled up into my eyes .. And just said "this has just taken so long" .. I can't believe today has finally arrived, and I am here ... It is true, the time had whittled away into months upon months, and process after process, and hoops after hoops .. And amidst the momentary burst of tears that trickled from my eyes, I apologized saying that I wasn't sure if it would happen in the office, or in the car .. but at any rate ... They are really tears of rejoicing that I although I am still down a leg, I am making steps forward .. And there I sat on a wickedly blustery violent weather filled day, looking out a window, and sitting at a driving apparatus ... That was my moment looking out to the world, where freedom of confinement would be a thing of the past!
In things that were very great in my life that day ... I had my hilarious friend with me .... Where I can definitely thank "The Universe" for her and mine paths to cross ... Only 40 short years ago. OMFG .. Holy shit .. !!!! How the dust flies ... And just when I got the plumes settled !
