I'm gonna blow!

Don't you just wonder some days when you get up?

You are horizontal, things are good; but once you become land locked & vertical all hell breaks loose.

I didn't know I had to pee that bad... what the heck was I thinking getting up??? there's pain shooting down your back and your legs, and you think your feet are turning yellow from the amount of pee that you have swilling about inside of you. I just don't get it... I didn't feel that way 15 seconds ago, but you can not undo the "get up". Once you're up, you're up. The swilling and the swirling are already happening, and there is no ondoing that amount of pressure.

It doesn't stop there.

I could breathe 20 seconds ago, clear head, fuzzy thoughts, but at least I could breathe. Within the number of seconds up unhorizontoling yourself the world of breathing has come to a crashing hault, and now the nose has taken a new life form. In mere seconds it blasts 8-10- 13 sneezes before you can realize what is acutally happening. Bear in mind of couse that you haven't made it to the bathroom yet, so the body is reacting rather badly to the voilent convulsions due to the swilling pee in the body.

Can't stop yet.

I make my way past the nice bathroom. It doesn't sound like the husbandman will ever get out. I believe that he is taken a new at "work from home" position, and the bathroom has become his office. Meanwhile I am dodging the silly catdog, and all her worries and woes. (As she comes with many, for no reason). She runs about fretting and crying and circling. That's a nice combination for some THAT DOESN'T CARE! I am now bypassing frantic paws, and sneezing, and have been temporary blinded by watery eyes. We (the cat dog perpetually blocks the way) make it to the bathroom. Just my luck. The vacuum has been housed in this location & I fight my way past the vacuum cord (it's 17 years old... but it works!) and get to use the toilet lucky me. Well, lucky enough that I sneeze another 5-7-11 times.

R-E-L-I-E-F!

Sneezing, peeing & flouffing! It's all over in a matter of moments. Wow, I can see, I can breathe, I have stopped spasming, I can move. Even the dog has quit her crying. But, these are the chances that I take, just to get up in the morning. Can you imagine... if I ever slept in???

That's not a pretty thought people.