Matrimony 101

So I think the secret to successful marriage some days is just go and do what you please, whenever you please.

Since there are no real rules in life in regards to making relationships work .. other than being kind, and responsible, and treating each other wish respect ..... there are other times that one sees fit in just moving on.

I live one way, he lives another.

That is what I have determined.

Where I would actually derive the pleasure of his company, it seems that his agenda is full of his agenda, and there isn't any bending it.

Alright fine. I'm good with that.

So I went out the other night ... it was supposed to be WITH him, but given that he had forgotten, he wasn't prepared, hadn't taken the dog for a walk, needed to shower, was sitting on the couch after an exhausting week at work, the whole while dealing with a cold .... it might be forgivable that he didn't want to go out. Once you add up that scenario .. who would.

So I spelled it out to him that it was quite fine that he didn't want to go ... or that ... he did want to go, but later ... way later ... after he had done all his things. So we are not in sync with one another more than anything ... by the time he was ready to go, was the exact same time that I was prepared to come home.

It's that simple, we have two completely different clocks, and learning (and relearning) to make them work .. is work.

I wonder .... does anybody make it out of  the Matrimony 101 stage of wedded bliss?  

This book, that you CAN'T see!

We are talkin some serious ......

fruit salad !!

First off:



I read this book ... OK .. uhm. Wow. Yikes. Scaryville.



I probably would not do the best for a book review person. Since this is not something that I wish to read about on a regular basis ... I found it excruciatingly good, and yet awful at the same time. I can't stand reading books where woman are hurt or beaten or abused, even if it was the truth ... I do not wish to read about it.

Although ... in other things that are on the upswing:

Lot's of stuff !!

I got the girl her driving lessons! CRAZYVILLE yes, I know.

I managed to book a massage therapy appointment, even if it may not be with a person that I wish to stay with for a while, it's a first step in moving forward. Again, CRAZYVILLE, I have never been to a massage therapist before. I am looking for a specific type of one ... so who knows ....

I managed to make it through a quick trip to Costco yesterday. EXCITING TIMES FOLKS. One would think slugging it through the place is a work of pure chore-dom, and while it is/was ... it was HUGE in my world. Of course without fail ... the cashiers had to pause to count their freaking cash. OF COURSE ... as my minutes were dwindling standing on my foot by the second ... people that were 4 people deep cruised past me in the other line ups. I FUCKING HATE Costco for that reason. I guess I would be far more tolerant if this DOUBLE BEE-otch was a little more patient .. no wait .. make that COMFORTABLE while STANDING.

All the same ... I went someplace today that was ever so brave and again ... CRAZYVILLE. I went to a fitness center. YES. I. DID. I even went inside, and made them show me around ... I even touched a piece of equipment. As in rested my finger on a piece of equipment. So here's the situation you see: it's difficult when you live just 5 minutes away from your community recreation center ...  and yet, I find the price of attending the center EXPENSIVE. The gym/fitness center that I wish to attend is a 19 minute drive, past the mall (read TRAFFIC), and it just seems so FAR away, even though it isn't. It is WAY cheaper than trying to attend the local rec center .. and one can go as many times as you would like for FIFTEEN dollars a month. Seems worthwhile to me. My plan is to HIRE a personal trainer to START, and give me a work out plan .... and then meet up with this personal trainer down the road. I do not need an attendee by my side every time I wish to go ... I however wish for someone to give me a work out with the weights and such since my cardio time is limited due to the very reason I have to attend the gym in the first place. Treadmills, ellipticals, regular bikes, racing bikes are all out of the question for the time being, as are any types of classes where standing takes place, or where you have to work in a circuit. BUT .... in an effort to increase the metabolism I want to start doing some weight lifting ... so that will make a nice difference I am sure !!


I went to see the good Dr Rheumatologist the other day .... sigh. I knew he couldn't do anything for me ... but all I was there to see him for was advice. AND .. you can't call these speciality guys up and say ... "Hey Jim .... I have a question ..." so hence .... making an appointment .. and off one goes ... The question I was asking him about wasn't an easy one ... so again .. a bit difficult ...  So he says to me ... "OK wow ... so that was cancer ... wow ... " ... He claimed by the last time he had seen me that because the way it had failed numerous times to heal, that he finally had suspicions of cancer. Although he then said to me ... this is the way vascular ulcers present themselves ... so not only he didn't detect it, nor did the 5 other dermatologists, which he found incredible ... and yet claimed at how difficult this was to treat since the other people had no question marks swirling in their notes either that it was in a bad way. OK ... just for the record ... I could have SCREAMED to anyone and everyone I was in a bad way. He asked me where the graft was ... I told him the whole top portion of my foot.

So then I started thinking ... hmmmm ..... my GP said to me weeks ago that as GP's they don't see this in regular everyday practice ... and then the other day when the DR. Rheum said the same thing ... I thought NOR does he ... and then yesterday I had to buzz in for a prescription refill ... and the non GP woman that I have had to start seeing asked to see the foot, because she was the last to see it before the surgery ... so she to was fascinated ..... alrighty then .... the NICE NICE NICE part is .... this little graft is slowly disappearing into my tissues ... so how freaking ultra crazy cool is that .... this big huge oval looking entity is slowly melting away .. if that is such a thing.

It is a thing. And it is exciting. To be MOVING on. Sort of.

MY ankle has a big hole in it, or at least a hole that is now getting bigger. The Dr. Rheum suggested that perhaps we should start this biopsy business all over again.  Of course he asked why they didn't biopsy it at surgery. I asked him why did he ask me questions that make sense. It seemed obvious to me .. and yet ... it wasn't obvious to all those that do this sort of thing.

GAWD.

I managed to go over to the car wash today .... and wash up the car. Gotta laugh .... one can not just stand leaning on the car when the timer is ticking as the suds pass through the hose !! It was a bit of a chore ... but I struggled through it ! Again, I was very excited to move on doing boring daily chores!! 

OK .. so in SAD SAD SAD SAD news .... only a couple more episodes of my Mr. Patrick Jane. I so love his character that he portrays. One can not simply find that amount of humour, and that amount of drama. ... although I have to admit ... I have been fortunate in finding Columbo re-runs, which totally makes me laugh at the Patrick Jane similarity ... except ... sorry Peter, SIMON is HOT!

AND in news that I am excited for .. I bought a new blow dryer yesterday ... so I am hoping that my wild and crazy mop of straw disguised as hair will have some control back in it's form again ! 

So there it is .... not much going on with the crazy boy ... but rest assured he is crazy .... with his band, and his working, and his hair growing ... the same with the husband and his welder and his jeep rebuilding .. holy crab storms .. the furry boy is of course crazy ... and then so is crazy girl ... she is crazy too ... in a very cute and lovely way sort of crazy.... all this coming from QUEEN CRAZY ...  this is currently where I am in love with fruit salad. Every day. Good Gawd.

Frantically frantic.

I think.

I might be.

I am very much needing to make up for lost time.

I have lost a lot of time.

HUGE-a-MONGO amounts of time.

Unfathomable.

Like I have made my out of the longest Survivor maze ever. 

Forever present in the moment, and the beauty of the surroundings, but enveloped to the point of being strangled.

So now I am feeling frantic.

Edgy.

In need of ... something.

Like I need to get going, get moving, get living again.

Fortunately .. the weather is a bit nasty ... so that is keeping me locked up, and out of trouble.

Somewhat.

Plus, I just realized tonight that the boy had borrowed my camera .. a great long while ago, and even that isn't at my disposal. OUCH. 

I have taken up scrolling through Pinterest. Rhymes with interest, for great reason.

The passions of all the whackadoodle creativity is slowly coming alive, and I find myself longing for some magic to begin to unfold!!

But first I need a darning needle .. to finish the boys toque. MUST. FINISH. THE. TOQUE.

It's comedy actually that this project has been dithering about ... since November. All of the winter months .. where the boy essentially wears a toque everywhere he goes ... kind of like it's going to be the grand unveiling of his LONG hair. Comedic. 

In things that are greatly comedic:

I had the great opportunity to witness the GIRLIE girl sit and teach herself a lovely STAY WITH ME song, and the boy toodle about on the ukulele. Talk about changing tides!

I fisnihed these two books ...

One was TOTALLY CUTE, and made me laugh, laugh and laugh. It was not a book that an adult would read, but rather a younger kid .. I DON'T CARE .... it was as cute as the sweetest kitten picture ever posted on Facebok could ever be ... 

The OTHER book was abysmall ... deeply disturbing in a horrid motherly way .... very well written, but just so sadly disturbing ... I should have really read what the title was telling me ... 

So now .. moving onto my next book .. in keeping with the bluster of activity in the news of late .. I have To Kill a Mockingbird in my grasp!!

AND then .. when I get bored .. its back to Pinterest I go to continue gathering great ideas for my gardening adventures !!

Silence amongst us.

The ever so beautiful and amazing young lady of a daughter had her wisdom removed from that beautiful head of hers on Friday. She is just such a rock star, in a huge amount of ways. In her delirious perfectly good but high state, she texted her friends afterwords. Stating she was fine, no big deal. What a girl of epic porportions .... calm and steady .... with a small sentiment that she was ever so slightly nervous, as she had right to be.

So now that she has had her teeth sent to wisdom heaven, she has had to be only slightly quieter this past weekend. That's alright she has all her gadget that she needs surrounding her ..which is perfect in keeping one silent. Well, that and pain drugs ... do the trick.

In feats that will leave the readership astounded into even more silence would be the fact that I was actually able to make some jello for her. Sounds incredulous .. .seriously .. a feat such as boiling water, and stirring a powdery substance. Surely to gawd I am exagerating ... NOPE. That is how far I have fallen my loyals readerships. One would begin to guess and assume that surely to good gawdliness that I tell the lies of highest of mountains ... but no, the sad quiet detail of my life ..... that I have spent living it from the bed to a chair, and if I were to be out, it was always on tortuous borrowed time. ....  However ...  gasps that will truly shock ... I, in the same kitchen experience was able to boil up some macaroni noodles, and grate cheese, and offer up that as an offering off a soft and yet filling dinner for her. In regular joe times ... who would even speak of such ridiculouness ... boiling water, dumping noodles, grating cheese, and presenting that is a feat the same as discovering North America porportions ... YUP. After that amount of insane standing, and manuevering the little foot/leg recovered .. a number of hours later ... the truly nice part of all of this jaw dropping silence .. is the mere fact I was actually able to do it, ... and clean up after .... something that has been so absent from my life, for so many months. Long months.

In other things of great silence ... there is still an err of unease that exists inside this body beyond the 1 percent of badlike things that still resemble the horrid cancer bullshit. I have a whole arm / underarm thing where the poor arms are just swollen feeling and hard. I used the similar describing words as a great sale going on at Target, where the doors are pulsating and bulging from the people pushing on them .. with every added desperate shopper the doors bulge a little more ... I'm not a Target fan .. but my friend is .. she appreciated my humour ... as her beloved Target is going to close down ... and I sorta laughed at that ! And that is still the silence that I am living with ... hoping that all will settle itself down without a devious undermining developing.

I went to see the very nice surgeon last week. He agreed in acknowledgement that I was not comfortable knowlingly letting 1 percent still remain, and hoping that the inflammation alone would kill things off, I said I wasn't comfortable waiting for that eventuality to unfold.. The sugeon nodded, and did agree .. then said he would send me to a radiation oncologist. OK .. well ... that's alright except the three options of which none I was content with have now become one. A surgeon that wishes to NOT do surgery. Interesting. From what I know .... is that surgeons LOVE to do surgery. That's why they are surgeons, they don't really want the messy life components .. they want to cut, chop and refurbish. Now he is handing me off ... to see if a little zap will do me .. even though the surgeon said that even a little zap will melt my newly acquired graft. As pure life comedy would have it ... the best looking part of the graft is where the itty bitty 1 percent remains.

In other things of silence is the Jimstonson. He's silent, but not. He came forward with the plans from the crazy band. Holy not-silenceville-whatsoever .... they will be gone for three weeks, of which they will be playing twice a day ... well rock and roll charlie .... that's a good thing. The Elton John influence has truly come to show in his playing ... I will never forget the night that him and I got to go ... I was in horrific pain ... but yet .... what an impact it had on him. A silent smile creeps across my face on that one!

So in keeping with enjoying my chickalots ... a lot ... I had kept some tissue paper hearts from the Micheal Buble concert that the girl and I went to ... we had an awesome time .. her and I .... what a moment in time ... so all these pink and red hearts floated from the ceiling at the end of the show .. I of course picked up a couple of them, and safely put them in my phone case ... and I enjoy knowing they are there, as they always remind me of what a great time the girl and I had enjoying that good fellow Micheal ... ! So the other day I had a great idea to clean out the tub ... and swoosh like no tomorrow my iphone fell in the tub ... phone ended up dead, the tissue hearts water logged and destroyed ... so what did I end up doing ... i ploughed my phone into a rice bag, and then in an attempt to revive the hearts, I dumped rice on them ... well bless my soul ... I have a phone revival as well as tissue heart retrieval ... how awesome is that !

And now ... with both the chick a lots home ... I will inquire as to what is maintaining their silence .. amongst us.