Pardon me.....

Yesterday I went for one of those specialized "lady" chest xrays. Which was then followed up by an ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was busy as a bee snapping pictures. I thought in my head as she was busy snapping... please stop with the picture taking... that is just too many pictures for my liking. Then she hopped off the chair... and said she would be back. While I was waiting for her, I thought I had not heard her right, when she said "I will be back"... I thought she had gone for lunch, and coffee... combined. So myself, and the pictures of myself on the monitor waited.... I stared at the pictures on the monitor, and wondered what all the black and white images were really saying... and then I thought back to the ultrasounds with the chicklets.... that was way easier.... there were a billion pictures on the screen of a little alien... and this was comforting... because I knew that ultimately it was a baby chicklet. I continued to wait, and stare. Eventually the ultrasound tech came back, and she brought a radiologist with her. He shook my hand and right away said, we don't have any bad news for you. ... But then he continued.... "You seem to be circling the drain".... (((( in my head I start screaming.... HOLY SHIT... did he just say I am circling the drain.. how the hell can that not be bad news?????))))).. but then I came to, and he continued talking that "I am circling in the storm". This is where he motioned with his hands, one fist he held steadfast, and the other hand swirling around it. ((((Once again, I started talking in my head.... I speak fucking english.. and I do not have a clue what you are saying))))... I do know that since "no real news is good news" I will go with that.. until I get the real interpretation from my regular doc.

Little life adventures:

I am one ball in, and have one ball to go.
The Fun Fur scarf will be ready before I know.

My hands are stiff, and the fingers are slightly hard to bend
Even the wedding ring is giving my finger a dent.

I have eaten many tabs of Tylenol since yesterdays visit in the toothstealers chair
These are all the stories at the moment, that I have to share.

How odd is that?

I can swear when I went to the dentist this morning that I was going to get a crown, but somehow that crown turned into a pair of plyers.. and now I'm toothless, by one.

It is a shame that I ran around my little homestead yesterday, cleaning and buffing and washing.. if I had waited for today, the toothstealer said for me to do nothing "physical" &/or "strenuous" for the next two days. Man, I can certainly screw up when I need to.

Well, I am off to buy some Extra Strength Tylenol......once the freezing empties from my face, there wont be any amount of lipstick that I could paint on my lips to add a smile to it.

Sitting upside down for a number of hours in a dentist chair really zaps you of your energy. But, I am going to have to do something rather quickly... because I have to be perky and funny for my Stroke Group in 30 minutes.... rah rah!

Just an observation....

Don't you just hate it when you think you have lost weight... because your jeans fit you better.. and then you figure out that your fly is down. Double crappers on that one.

In other things that are beyond belief:

I am happily slurping back a cup of coffee that has some "soy silk" creamer dumped into it... and I have to stir it up real good so as not to see the curdling effect on the steaming cup. Strange but true. Oh, and on that thought...the expiry date is not until April 19th. I am betting that I am going to be alive at the end of this cup of coffee.

OK, and I have come up with a list of songs to play...it's a stream of songs.....I am hoping that I can play them all. I'll make the list here... that way when I lose the actual list that I have written down.. I know I will have put it somewhere.. OUT THERE. OK, the next problem is... how do I play all this crap.... I CAN'T PLAY WITHOUT MUSIC IN FRONT OF ME.

1. Sonata Pathetique
2. James Bond Theme
3. Edelwiss
4. Canon
5. Candle in the Wind
6. The Blue Danube Waltz
7. Andy Griffth Theme
8. Over the Rainbow
9. Lovin Dat Man of Mine
10. Space Odyssey
11. What a Wonderful World
12. Paino Man
13. Speak Softly Love
14. Star Wars
15. The Entertainer

A neck snapping good time.

I am planning a little music fest for my Stroke Group in a couple of weeks. I have been setting aside time every day to practice all kinds of piano music ((except jazz)) and put it into an arangement something like a "medley of music". This sounds all well and dandy... especially if I can pull it off, and ever more importantly, if my neck doesn't snap in half by sitting on a piano bench for many hours at a time. This could be a dangerous endeavor... I better find some music that has some intrigue when the time comes for the neck snapping good time...

What time is it?

I was awake this morning at a most reasonable time. I got out of bed at 5:47, and went to the den to watch the news. I brought my knitting, "the fun fur scarf project" with me. What else do you do on the second day of spring, but knit a scarf. The trouble is now... it's 7:50, and the only person awake is me. The only thing accomplished so far: a billion rows of knitting. The things I need to accomplish: drag children from their beds, make them dress, eat, brush, and be merry all before 08:50. I hate getting up early.

Onto bigger and better

The kitchen renovation is going along quite nicely. It's a very exciting process and has not impacted our lives to too much. Here's an update of the progress so far:

The husbandman has now moved a large number of items out to the shed. I believe there was comment somewhere that he needs a shed for his newly built, not even a year old shed. He also has moved all of his pieces of plywood to the other side of the garage. Then he swept all of the garage. Yes, the kitchen is taking shape quite nicely.

I am currently on the hunt for his sledgehammer, firecrackers and some dynamite. If I could have my trusty whip handy, I would be satisfied with that. But the edges are dull, and kind of thud when you crack it. I have offered my ((almost useless)) whip to my friend who is now getting a new shed, like I (we) did last year. Hopefully she will put it to good use. In the meantime, I will somehow continue to look after the yucky-yuck ancient kitchen, while the husbandman continues to clean and organize the garage.

I'll go back a day please.

The sun is gone, my smile has faded
My spring spirit has definitely been deflated.
From across the horizon I see masses of grey,
Which will certainly bring with them, rain for the rest of the day.

AAAAHHH, the first day of spring.

It's sunny outside.

Yae oh yae.

I have a smile this ________________________________wide.

And it will stay there all day.



((OK, I wont include the fact that the chicklets are back to school.. I don't think that has anything to do with it......))

Lucky me!

Now that spring is fast approaching in these parts, I have finally found my knitting needles and pink coloured fun fur to make the girl a scarf... no time like the present... that being said.... this was to be a present for her at christmas time... except that I was a bit over zealous in the hiding of the needles and fun fur department. But now that I have found them... I must click along quickly.

In other things that need to be quick:

I came home earlier, while the husbandman was busily removing items and articles from the soon to be new room but still garage at the moment. The old and still unrenovated kitchen was nicely tidy and organized.... UNTIL I managed to make some dinner for the people that reside here. Of course I made things look a lot worse than they needed to, just to get Mr. Cleanandtidy all wild and crazy like... I succeeded quite nicely.

Talk talk bonus

I love the talk talk bonus... it is very special to me... I believe I am addicted. It's a game at the CASINO, that I absolutely love.... when I do play. I am mostly a spectator sport kind of person at the CASINO. My stalker sister keeps asking me why I call it the talk talk bonus... because there is no reason to call it such a thing... I think the real name is the tail bonus, but the talk talk bonus works for me. For the longest time she considered I was nuts for loving this game, but now she is addicted to it. She is nuts too, and a stalker... so I am still one up on her.

Two titles read for the week.

zi zick

That is the sound that my monitor started to make the other day. Just before it quit. I am a monitorless mother.

zi zick, zi zick, zi zick.....zook. And that was the end of my monitor

I did talk to Antion from North Carolina about the zi zickness of the monitor. Then as any good monitorless mother should do, I walked my zi zicked monitor through the London Drugs parking lot.... and took the now zi zicked monitor back to the mother ship for an overhaul. All going well, it will be put to rest, and then I can adopt the new sister slim line, and get rid of the zi zickless FAT monitor....

The Queen of the Kitchen...

Strikes again!!

I was grocery shopping a couple of weeks back... and found some interesting items in the freezer section. I have decided that I really like the freezer section. I didn't realize how important of a section the freezer section can be to a person that has come to terms that her and her kitchen are not as best of friends than they should be. I can not believe that I have been bypassing the freezer section for as long I have been. I am ashamed of myself. Tut tut to me.

Anyways... as I was nattering... the freezer section called to me a couple of weeks back. I was at my Airmile grocery store, with my big coupon in hand, so I was feeling kind of desperate to cash in on the airmiles. I happened to spot these dinners, already made up... all you needed was a skillet and some heat. WOW! I couldn't believe my luck... now this is cooking at it's finest. Tonight I tried my hand at these super speedy fast skillet all in one dinners... as soon as the husbandman walked through the doors I was already hissing and sneering at him to "keep it down... I almost have your dinner ready... I have been chopping and seasoning for hours...."

I am once again the Queen of the Kitchen... and he doesn't even know about the freezer section dinner that he dined on tonight... now I just hope he didn't notice the wrapping that it came in. I am sure that my diamond ring is coming very soon.... VERY SOON... with my fabulous cooking abilities.

Things that break.

There was a lovely break in the weather over the weekend. Which really means that it didn't snow, hail or rain... at all. In fact, the sky was blue and the great outdoors had a welcome mat attached to it. (The lovely hamsterson missed his step and stumbled across the welcome mat... he still needs reassurance that the great outdoors welcomes him too....)

Now that the weekend BREAK is over... and it is officially SPRING BREAK around these parts, it appears that the weather is on the verge of giving itself a BREAK, and will certainly BREAK every single parent this next week. I watched the weather forecast for this week. I am going to slice now. It calls for rain, rain and more rain. Give me a freaking BREAK! Of course it isn't raining now... that's because I have to be at work in a little while....

I wish the word SPRING BREAK could be termed as BREAKFAST. We fast, then we break the fast... the same as we should BREAK for spring. Which means that there should be white lovely popcorn clouds floating about a wonderful backdrop of blue sky..... for the whole week.

The only thing that will be breaking at the end of this week will be me, if I have to live with APELETS ((a.k.a. chicklets)) that are locked in the great indoors.. because of the rain.

I think I will let them go swimming!

The Checklist

My fairly aged 11 year old boy spouted out a list of questions yesterday as to the proceedings of the day. I felt like I was in Sunday Night Theatre, where the people crowd around the radio, and listen to the stories, where the actors talked so fast you barely had a moment to process the words.

Hamsterson, please get ready to go......

These are only some of the questions/comments that he spouted out in less than 20 seconds... I think I might have missed some....

1. Where are we going?
2. Do I have to go?
3. Is the sister coming?
4. I am busy.
5. When are you returning?
6. Am I still expected to go?
7. I don't think I have a jacket to wear.
8. Go with out me.
9. Do we have any food in this house?
10. Please tell me we have food.
11. Are we going someplace that we have to buy food.
12. I'm not coming then.
13. How long will it take to get there?
14. Will I be home early?
15. Does this have to take all day?
16. Can I rent a video game afterwards?
17. I need to be home by five.
18. I should probably just stay home now, you are always late.
19. Will you buy me some food?
20. Are you bringing money with you?

If you see a girl laughing....

Just ignore her. Leave her alone. Trust in the fact that she's happy in her own world. Even if she looks insane, as she giggles and snickers to herself.

I would like to say that my friend and I had a conversation on the phone yesterday, but I believe it was more me just spurting out useless details to life, and her umhumming in agreement. Anyways, our conversation continued along about the non-tree hugging religion of the Jehovah Witnesses. I told her that it drives me nuts to always be finding their magazines littered all over my tables of "precious info pamphlets" that I am obsessed by tidying and setting out for the patients to read and LEARN from. So I spout all about the amount of paper that gets used from the JW's love of logging practices.... and then I come along and dump it all in the recycling container. (So sorry).... I then carry on about how we don't see other religions handing out or leaving behind information, or like, for want of a better example: Sikh's handing out knives on streetcorners. I then spoke in a hushed tone into the phone... "Sppp, you... you wanna knife, I have a knife, come here and get one...." Enough said, we hang up the phone, and carry on doing our daily life like things. Or so I thought. I mean I was alright.... but my friend on the other end of the phone was clearly touched by my odd antics.

She needed to go grocery shopping... and who did she spy, but a Sikh, carrying a knife....Now, on any given day Sikh's with knives aren't funny, at all. But what does this poor soul of a girl start to do... but laugh. A lot. While walking by herself. In the grocery store. And who does she keep bumping into as she cruises the grocery aisles.. but the Sikh with the knife.

Hey.. pppppsssssttttt.... you wanna knife, I have a knife.......here let me roll it in some paper I found in the recylcing container.....

Sun Seekers Two.

I told the Pip that her and that pink bunny on her back might find a pot of gold if she followed the rounding branch of walls.
A young man enters the wilderness catwalk to fame.

 

Sun seekers.

Dancing with themselves

Ah finally... a no brainer

A fun lighthearted story, I think my heavy drama book filled days are over. I can't seem to find time for them, and yet, this little number kept me reading all night. Although I don't think I could keep reading these stories over and over.. I think eventually I would need new drama... or something!

Check Engine

My 16 year old SUV's engine may be ready to blow up at any second. I have been driving around for two weeks with an annoying bright orange light indicator on my dashboard staring at me in the face. I have talked kindly to it, as I do to all inanimate objects, (which does not include computerized cellphone people), and have asked it to go away, the engine is just fine, thank you.

Yesterday with the lovely and short lived huge snowfall (was it even two inches!) that we had, I was able to put the 16 year old SUV into four wheel drive. This is not something that the nicely aging vehicle gets to do very often (much to the husbandmans dismay). I noticed that once I had put the rusting but still worthy vehicle into four wheel drive, the check engine light disappeared as quick as I was able to shift it's gears.

I believe this is a miracle people, a no cost miracle too boot. I will watch and wait cautiously now, waiting for something to twang and then watch as the engine burns itself into it's final resting place.

Thursday Snowstorm

 

I had a fight with Melanie TODAY

Conversations with Melanie are very one sided. I always have to call her, and she never calls me. NEVER. EVER. Although we have a simple telephone relationship, it's all questions and answers most days, and that's that. She really only cares about what she can get from you, and the second you ask her for advice she passes you on to someone else. Although Melanie can be at times helpful, she can also be annoying, very annoying. Sometimes you have to listen to Melanie repeat herself over and over again. I have on occasion hung up on Melanie as I am very impatient with her idiocy at times. Like today, when I was talking with her, I could just tell Melanie was in a mood. All she kept saying was: "I'm sorry, I didn't get that".... and you can't tell Melanie to shut up and listen, because that only frustrates her simpleton self, and then she shuts down. She asked me a question today, and I gave her the straight answer of CREDIT CARD. She asks me to repeat myself, and I do, but louder. The third time she asked me to repeat myself I almost rammed the credit card itself through the phone lines, but instead I screached CREDIT CARD into the receiver. I believe I saw stars after that. Before I knew it, Melanie was gone. Thank god.

Like magic, I was suddenly talking to another voice, a voice that told me that sometimes Melanie is moody. You can't get through to her and it doesn't matter how hard you try, Melanie wont listen. The voice apologized for Melanie's behaviour, although it was not required. I had no reason to complain, or apologize myself to Melanie... as she is an automated cell phone operator.

Undercover Issues

The Pipsters class went on a field trip today. I offered to be one of the driving people, since I didn't mind where we were going, and it wasn't challenging to get to. I have had instances in the past where I didn't have a clue where we were going, and the other parent friend and myself ended up viewing some falls off the highway. We were apparently on our own field trip that day, except for the rest of the class was busily learning about apples, about 30 exits prior. You win some and lose some.

Anyways... back to the control freak of a teacher. We arrive at our destination, and I have my umbrella closely attached to my side. She spots the offending item and marches up to me... "You might want to leave that someplace" she says. I immediately hissed back at her "what's the deal with umbrellas, I'm planning on using it", and I give her the evil eyebrow glare. "Well, you will have to stand at the back because you might bump people with it, if you insist on bringing it", she googlyeye looks at me. "I think I can manage", I try and say nicely to her. (That scale of nicety was about a 6 1/2). Holy freaking fridge magnets.... I am not certain what her issue is with umbrellas, but I am certainly glad that I didn't give into her useless wind... as it POURED AND POURED the whole while we were on our OUTSIDE field trip. The other more fearful parents caved under her control freakish issues. They ended up wet and cold. I at least ended up just cold. I couldn't have done both.

Good Deeds

I took my not over due library books back to the library. I even let the library book "go" that I had requested to be brought in. (I had 7 days to collect it... which I didn't collect, because I either forgot, or have a stack of books calling to me with no deadlines and fees attached). I am free from the library burden. Althought I am not free from the huge amount of fines that I (being the cardholder that is) have amassed. ((There was the incident of the Hamsterson's 50 books that are COMICS, but are considered adult books that I believed to be due on the wrong date that hiked the fine,... which I am refusing to pay... they are COMIC BOOKS!!!!!)).

In other good deeds..... oh, which there are none at the moment I can think of.... !

The Law of Averages.

I wheeled into the driveway with our now 16 year old SUV. I parked in a spot a tad bit further down the driveway than I normally do. I opened the door, stepped onto the driveway and flipped the door shut. The very second the door shut, I heard a splat! I looked to the ground and spied bird splat, I looked up, and perched right above my point of exit from the vehicle sat a bird on a wire.

This whole splat is a highly odd event. The splat came from a crow. Crows never sit on the wire that connects our house to some pole at the street. I never park in that exact location of the driveway. This had to have been a crowsplat ambush. I am sure of it.

Sunday sunday

It's 8:48 and not really that late
But I find it hard to rhyme, when it's so close to nine.
I still need to worry about getting the kids to bed on time.

It's not that worlds will collide, or buildings will tumble,
the problem is finding the girl's bed, in her messy jungle.

The boy on the otherhand is organized, and tidy.
Althought that doesn't make him all sweet and smiley.
He is continuing to brew bugs from there to here,
I think the latest one has settled inside of his ear.

I can not be for certain that this is just so.
Although it appears to be very red, and seems to glow.

Time is ticking, as the husbandman paces,
in time to attend to the chicklet bed races.

Time is ticking it's 8:58
Bed time is something where I shouldn't be late.

Things I have accomplished today:

The biggest and most important deed of the day was bidding the chicklets a fond farewell at their lovely and little school. I left them with the kind motherly thoughts of have a nice day, school ends at three oclock and:

"don't call me I'll call you".

The Hamsterson has spent a week at home, and the girl was getting quite pissed at this whole ordeal so she decided that she needed to stay home as well. I let her stay home yesterday, she may be a little under the weather as well, so perhaps a day of rest wouldn't have hurt her either. Anyways, I have put the tough love mother approach today... and everyone went back. Now I am terrified to answer the phone... it might be them....

Well, that just about sums it up for accomplishments for the day...I'm done, and it's not even 10:00!

Although I have a head of very badly coloured hair that requires some major attention. Oh yuck, I hate it when my memory kicks into high gear... and reminds me of these sorts of things.