Thursday, December 17, 2015

Ho Hum ... how is it I feel so glum?

Well .. I can tell you why ...

I am way more emotionally invested in this "band" than I wish acknowledge.

This is my boy, who at the end of Grade 9 was "given" a beautiful $3500.00 keyboard. This thing did NOT get wasted ... for a single second. What did get wasted was the time that he (including the band) spent playing at venues with perhaps a dozen people to watch them,  ... in awe of their raw talent ... which is something they did not lack in ... in any regard.

 I am so so so grateful that I took the time to go and see him play, and record these events, and throw them on YouTube; where for as long as YouTube will be around .. so will my boy and his fantasmical playing ability ... that never got to see the limelight as the other parts of his band over shadowed him.

So tonight ... he called a meeting ... and told the band members to be there ... even though they were all heading out for a party at six oh four records ... as he could not wait over their "christmas break" to let them know that he wished to step back.

The nicest part of my son is this .. while he completely wants to walk away (it has been six years), he still felt that he wanted to help them with shows around "here", or with recording backing tracks, and finding a "replacement" ... (which NOW he deeply understands how UNREPLACEABLE he is) ... sounds all big shotted and fancy-pants speaking about "my boy" like that ... but that is what it is ..

This has been two years in the making ... he has stayed for two additional years ... just to ensure that he was "certain" about his decision about removing himself from this band.

And now tonight ... it was important that he tell these really talented guys ... there are lots of talented guys ... there really is ... but finding them is a challenge ... and for MY BOY .. moving on to growing up is a bigger challenge when you have to give out these types of let downs ...

So back to me ... I am in tears .. perhaps just ALL OF LIFE catching up to me ... perhaps the knowing that he did what he could do, and this is the end of the road ... and yet I know that it is the end of the road in THIS REGARD, but a whole new road to be traveled on his own. But I am sad. I am just sad that while he didnt have big hopes and dreams (that this was his golden ticket) .. it just didn't work out for them ... I feel sad that I was never able to hand them over $50,000.00 and say "go make your recordings" ... and "let's find you guys a real agent" ... and so none of that happened ... so they didn't happen. I am sad for the music that is now left behind. I am sad that they will just drop him, and say .. ya, it's been nice.

When the boy gets home ... he may or may not tell us stories .... thus I wait .... so glumly ... 

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