Two cents:

Do you have a question... any questions... a thought that needs clarifying...just something that crosses your mind.. or you need an answer... well.. I am the person to come to.. What about a career change.. are you thinking of one..?? oh, and a difficult relationship, yes, I can have words on that too.

I want to know when it happened that I thought my opinion/comment became worthy?? Apparantley it has... by my logic that is... only because I leave "it" in so many locations. How do you spell out.... Kerr-reist!!! --- people pose questions to complete strangers.. and me, being a good strange of strangers feel compelled to answer, with all my heart thrown in!

Here's a good example... I just gave a whole bunch of answers to a sleep deprived mother of twins. Shit... I have never had twins... but somehow... I gave her a bunch of common sense solutions to questions.. and threw in a couple of facts about she wasn't depressed but overwhelmed by her situation. And I know this ... because... I read it on a computer screen. Nice....

So, somehow when I wasn't looking... someone slipped TWO CENTS in my wallet.. and I use it.. whenever the chance arrives. I am frightened.. by myself... what happens if I start handing out really stupid answers... to perhaps.. really stupid people... could there be law-suits for this type of stuff??--- This will make "The Province" headlines... "the word of the hour is... she's gone to jail"... those could be the next headlines... don't wait for the picture... my hair will still be having a moment of "badness", so there will be no picture.... just wait for the headlines.

I commented to my Dad the other night... as I sat with him alone...while he was rather comatose / locked in his failing body that wouldn't say enough is enough.... and I thanked him for the mountain of experiences that he has left me with, and for the insight that words can not express....

Go Pip Go!

Today I witnessed my girl actually running across the soccer field... boy could she run. She appeared to move rather gracefully from my distant view. Those legs were moving so quickly, they were a blur. Too bad it wasn't during the game, but rather the warm-up. So that was it... that was her sprint.. wasted to get warm. Of course I got some "still" shots of her during the game.. because she doesn't actually move while playing soccer... she waits for the ball to come drifting past her.. and the swarm of girls that file past her as well... but, she looks good while doing it.. and that's the important thing. She even looks good with her hair wet, as it was today as she "moved" herself about the soccer field in the misty blowing rain... because some people simply look ratty when they have wet rain hair... not the Miss Pip... her in her blondness looked good. Good thing we didn't play yesterday... because it was warm and sunny. Soccer and sunny don't go together. Especially around here.

Hard at it:

With the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders (and my families)... I am venturing forth with all of the bizarre details of my daily doings....I believe my brain may have gone into overdrive and is churning out ideas that have been stifled and shelfed for quite some time. I am once again able to think and organize thought processes for longer than 5 minutes into the future. With this next caption you may think otherwise...I wrote this to my other friend Lisa this morning:

Good morning lady...

Thanks for making my life simple... with that technical name of yours, here is the reason:
So I have this other friend named Liesa..... instead of just calling her up and asking her email address.... I do a make work project... of course I can't remember how to spell her name ( I have been prone to forgetting the ie/ei version to that difficult name and have mixed it up for years)... so I email a bunch of people yesterday (with a bunch of made up addresses with the name Liesa attached) asking if she is the Liesa that I know...and all the emails go through.... so someone out there might be the right Liesa person... so this morning...I get back a bunch of emails...thanks for writing but wrong Liesa... in the meantime I called my friend.. gave her my address... and I got an email from the Liesa that I know, including a bunch that I didn't know.

You couldn't have made it through the weekend without knowing this highly intelligent story... glad to be keeping you alive. he he he he...
Deanna.

Whats the name of that song??

So, this week was rather long and torchuous.. is that even a word? Well, whatever it was exactly that and more. Details of events will be spared to protect those faint of heart... not that there is anything really faintable... but you never know who's cruising the screen at any given time.

I will say something... at one point... I was crying and laughing at the same time. It was awful, and then awfully funny. It's not good to put me into high stress situations, and then let me deal with them in my head... because that's when things go awry. It's these kinds of thoughts that begin to unfold.... and for the record... I am really NOT crazy.... you may think differently after reading the next part...

We were at our parents home with our Dad, (which I liked to call him Russ or Rusty, depending on the circumstances)...patiently waiting as he moved from our world into the next world.. and we had put on some peaceful music. We had some of Neil Diamonds Greatest Hits playing... and "Cracklin Rosie" was streaming through the speakers... so I begin to think... "This is a nice one Russ, you have always loved this song... wouldn't it be nice to gently slip away listening to Cracklin Rosie??... go ahead my good father, I'll be seeing you"..softly crying..... Nothing happens. Along comes Unchained Melody with the piano, then next it's Chariots of Fire. Once again in my head I start talking to him... "Well, what about this one Rustyman... I know how much you liked this one... it would make a nice exit scene for you....you've run your own marathon and have come to the end, it really does sound beautiful...". Not this one either.. alright then..... Janis Joplin begins to play and "Me and Bobby McGee" filters through the room. I try not to stuff the kleenex up my nose...."Christ Russ, somethings got to grab that heart of yours and make it stop...it's really not a bad way out with this one"...I begin to yell in my head. What about Willie Nelson.. does that do anything for you... as "Georgia on my Mind" makes a move on the Rusty fella....as he remains in this world...so once again I speak in my head.... (only because the rest of the family was sitting in and close to his room... and it wouldn't really be good to be going off the deep end at this point.. it's just not good...)..."OK Russ, I have to admit something here man... these songs... they're just killing me here...what's that song anyways.... "killing me softly with your songs or is it words....no, don't get back to me on that one"... I continue with the self-talk inside my head business... "because these songs are killing me here....I think my eyeballs might just drift down my cheeks with all the tears....if you could just back to me on the one that you would like to exit this world with... I will do my best to fill that one last request...." I waited. Then finally... finally I spoke to him.. from my head... once again... silent self talk is the safest way to go...it's easy to look crazy at these times of family crisises... "well these songs don't seem to be doing the job, and we have already done two rounds of the beautiful piano music, I have been through about two dozen kleenexes, and I have to pee....I guess we will have to try again a later date Rustyman..." excuse me while I go get more kleenex.. and we'll do the scene over again.

The story has all changed...

I am still the Queen of the Cards... that is, I'm sending out cards of thanks to those that helped over the last number of weeks....so if someone receives a birthday card in the process... it looks like I plain and simply ran out of the blanks and thanks. I am a bit on the confused mark though... do husbands qualify for thank you cards?? This man that resides in this home is truely remarkable.... the whole weekend while I was gone, he had the kids do more than I could accomplish in a week with them. On that note... I will be calling my mom and telling her to clean out my old bedroom... I'm moving home..! It's clear to me now... I am the chaos that reigns here... Moving on....

With the loss of Cicely our evil but beautiful and loving German Shepherd I thought I was going to have the opportunity to give our failing vacuum cleaner a little respite. Not the case. Our newly queened nervous nellie Ellpee dog has been trying to reincarnate her much feared evil step-sister by the volume of hair she has been shedding endlessly the last couple of weeks. I think it would be polite of her human friends in the home to quit calling out Cicely's name, that would be a start. I have also noticed that Queen Ellpee is scared of the dark. If we don't get her outside before dark... there will be no business done, until the lights have been turned on for the next business day. Great, our new guard dog needs a night light.

The Queen of the Cards.

I will temporarily crown myself as The Queen,.....but first a sidebar....

The newly crowned furry queen is kind of stepping up to the plate. She is beginning to show signs of her jeweled status. She barked the other day when someone knocked on the door. I am still not certain if it was a bark to be feared or a bark out of fear, that is still being worked on. She may be perfecting her bark at this point, or is confused by the barking protocol. All the same it came across as a bark, and a gallop through the kitchen. By this point I believe that is when the change of heart set in which produced the sudden skidding of her paws across the hardwood floor heading towards the front door, which was met by an about face turn hi-tailing it past the door answering person. Where she safely stood behind one of the kids, as her tail wagged. We have a ways to go.

On that note... I have to go.... this is to be continued... so for now the queen of the cards tale has to be put on hold....

A journeys end.

A storm was approaching, and we knew it was near
We could see the rumble, but no sound could we hear.

We were uncertain as we ventured out to sea,
We knew it was a journey, that simply had to be.

All of us stood strong among the churning waves,
As it crashed all around us, but none of us would cave.

It battered us about, and it tossed us to and fro
Leaving us wondering in which direction do we go.

We gathered our senses and remained on our course,
Keeping to our plan, and not to look back with remorse.

The blows hit us hard, and indecision set in.
Unsure of the next wave, and where it would take us then.

We knew this journey would come, and with it would be a storm
We weren't certain of it's furry or in what exact form.

We had a very precious cargo, that required some work to deliver,
But we had the courage to do it, and not a single chin did quiver.

The days and nights were long, as the storm continued it's throws
The cargo remained safe, as the crew took the blows.

At one point it seemed forever, that this storm would never end
When the decision was made, not another day like this that we would spend.

The crew set their sails and battled their way through the storm,
Aided by another figure, of not the humanly form.

A peaceful presence fell upon the crew, as they traveled from the night.
The precious cargo was delivered from the earthly lands to the heavenly light.

To the journeys end.
Rest in peace Russ. (Deanna's Dad).
April 8 1938 - February 2 2005

Worried about the weekend

I'm very worried. Too worried for words. The week-end is coming... or more like it's here. Friday afternoon 4:34... that's weekend enough for me. Clearly the weekend has arrived.. and now I have to live through it... the two days that include Saturday and Sunday. Perhaps some worry juice should help me through this rough patch. Now I have to figure out what kind of worry juice to ingest....the troubles.... a whole weekend off that includes Saturday and Sunday. I probably will go through withdrawal....best get more worry juice for that little roadblock.

I have found myself.

It's all true. I was looking around different places.(bloggish types you know).. and there I was. That got me to thinking. Why would I be there? It's interesting where you can go to find yourself. But I will add that nothing seems to make anymore sense finding myself, I am still quite capable of maintaining a life lost in chaos! Trust me, it makes no difference. My hair even looks the same... two toned in all the wrong places. I will have to continue to work on that...

On lighter notes... I have noticed that the darkness doesn't show up around these parts until about five fifteenish.... and that's a good thing... I enjoy staying in the light. Some people may walk towards it.. and then, maybe not.... Light means many things... you can still find things at five oclock in your home, your children can run amuck in the streets later into the day, outside chores can be procrastinated even later now, it's closer to springtime with the light, and most importantly I will be able to plant a new lawn outback... it seems the crows are no longer interested in the soggy mess that they have accomplished. AND.... the tulips are on their way up. Must go... the light and fluffy muffins are ready in the oven!!

It's the single life for me.

That is the song that Miss Ellpee has been singing since Sunday. She is the dog in charge now. On Monday she had that title handed over to her as I shut the door to go to my group. I listened at the front door, while the lonely Miss Licky ran around the house crying. She has never had this much freedom in this castle of new found Queenliness. She is apparantley rather nervous with her new found status. She will be required to learn the routines of "The Evil Queen" herself. Although there was no teaching involved with that one, Queen Evil managed to be home-schooled all on her own accord. Little Miss Ellpee doesn't strike me as the brightest lightbulb kind of dog, and never has. So, things like the postman will go unnoticed and of course then, unbroadcasted. I now no longer have a doorbell, as Cicely took that upon herself to make up for a defective home builder. I do however have silence with an occasional cry. The strangers at the front door will now be welcomed with a little cry and a wag of Ellpee's tail. Lucky me.

More things to note about the single dog life situation.... there are no more baby gates to move about the house. I don't have to wonder where Evil One and Evil Two are when people come inside. The "dog dirt" load is now down to one. Vacuuming will actually make a difference now.
We will now have to clear the counters at all times with the new miss in the Queenly Status. This new Queen believes in scouring counters for any sign of food that potentially might have her name on it. (Including knives and forks that have had food on them... she takes them to her cage) This is one thing we didn't have to worry about with the Cicely Queen... she would have starved herself to death with kitchen counters loaded with food... she just wouldn't take it. Queen Ellpee has changed all that....she has given me a new slogan to live by "Don't leave home with this one". On a different note, I wont have stories about "Hissy and Licky", and "Evil One and Evil Two", "The Evil stepsisters", "The Queen and her not so loyal servents".... so the story factor has been shortened here. So now we have a silent queen among us... and I am sure that I will come up with some stories about that. Starting now.... Mr. Husbandman has clicked the nails of the new queen... and not only is she silent on the sound system (barking), her nails don't make her click. Go Ellpee go !!

The last Raa-roo

Please take note: It would be wise to read these words of advice prior to advancing any further. Here she is, the Prancer of prancers, the evilest of evil, the Queen of all queens... sorry liz... See that ball, that is her ball.. don't touch her ball.. she may walk up to you, and roll it towards your feet... but don't touch it.. she will snatch it and run away. That is her game.. she plays with you. She's also a vegetarian. Everything under the sun is hers, and hers alone. I will be able to have an actual garden this year, and not a Prancer-snack-fest going on. Everything that resembles cucumbers, peas, beans, carrots, lettuce, green and red peppers, zuchinni, pumpkins, strawberries, and apples.. all hers, don't dream of picking it yourself... because she will have already done it for you. And.... dare to kick a soccer ball into this backyard of ours... her response..."thanks for the snowball, even in the summertime... too bad it didn't land in your yard... It's mine now". There is no getting back the soccer ball from this dogs jaws. Her toys are her toys, and don't dare touch them... she had many in the backyard that she gathers around her... and then she sits.... in the middle of her dogmade kingdom.. and waits for some poor unsuspecting soul to try and touch one of her prized items... and then pounces forward, to retrieve the article in question. Dinner may be a little troubling for those that do not know her... she gives the raa-roo, (which is how she barked when she was just a littlepup), and we made her continue to talk like that... and then she immediately dives in, grabs a mouthful... and then runs across the room and spits it all out, then eats it. Interesting. Right now she up sitting on her very own cloud... daring other dog souls to rest upon her pillow, waiting for snowballs to bounce her way. A word to the wise...she may be gone from these earthly lands... but she will make her presence known in the heaven's above...you've been warned. And Prance... try to get along with the others... certainly you will find someone that you like up their... see you Cicely.
Oct 1993 - Jan 2005

Friday confessional

So the Mr. Husbandman has been after me to write a blog. Interesting..... I thought I did that... a little too much. Well apparantley not. There has been some talk of late about a certain number of shampoo bottles around the rim of the tub.

There are lots of shampoo bottles around the rim of the tub.

I will be sure to tell him that I have written about myself on this blog. It was informative and enlightening to all those that will read it. He will be so delighted in the fact that I have written something rather sinister about myself. He will never find this blog to find the actual truth... which is about to be written about him.....

He bought another bar of deodorant today... he told me that he was starting his collection all over again... I will be on the lookout for this one!!!

It get's better:

Mr Husbandman and myself went out for lunch today. Together. At the same time, at the same place, across from one another. I almost asked him for I.D. when he sat down. Instead I asked to see his left hand... no wedding ring... that was the clue... "Your'e clear, please proceed and sit down, I believe you to be my actual significant other".

He sat. We conversed about life and other junk, and gambling dates, and torcheress aftereffects of putting hard earned money into electronic machines and stuff. Infact, we talked about the Pickaspats. Yes, we did. The actual conversation isn't all too relevent...(about juggling schedules if you must know).... but it's the final comment that is the clincher......"That's it"... Mr. Husbandman says.... "I should marry Mr. Pickaspat, he can work, I will stay at home... and everyone will be happy"......

Mr. Husbandman almost turned into Mr. Humourman at 1:30 this afternoon. This was a close call. He is still at home with me this evening.. but I am not sure if he may up and leave me... at any moment... for Mr. Pickaspat....

Free swimming lessons.

Yes, that's right.... it's all free.....swim to your hearts content.. and if you can't swim.. don't worry, you'll swim anyways!! Your shoes will swim in the streams that have been built on man-made sidealks. Your clothing will swim in layers of wetness... and of course your hair will be swimming in hair products, or raindrops. Your socks can be wrung out to give yourself some bathwater... if you need it for later. As you walk through the streets.. you will wade in a sea of colourful umbrellas. And, if you are not very careful.. your face will swim in a mask of mascara.. because of the wall that wetness that is streaming towards your face. Forget showering... it's doing enough of that outside, just stand with your bar of soap.. and lather away. I think it's actually easier to go for swimming lessons... you probably don't get as wet as everyone is right now.

Feeling parched?

Is it dry and hot where you are?
Has humid turned into a swearword?
What about your throat...will your thirst ever be quenched?
Does the idea of going outside bring more hot flashes to the already hot and sticky areas?
OR-
Are you having visions of cool rushing water around you?
What are your thoughts of driving around the countryside *including local highways and on-ramps to the freeway* with your car stalling in a "puddle of water"?

If any of these thoughts have come to pass in the last number of days feel free to join us here on the westcoast... and soothe that irrestable urge to stomp through puddles with your brand new rainboots! You will have your chance, perhaps... you should just go for a swim instead... but don't forget to bring your wetsuit ... Well, what about just enjoying some gold ole' winter rain festivities... because if you have come up with some... then come on over and share the fun. WE are not having any fun right now. WE are drenched and will probably remain at this level of wetness for the next week. One foot of rain is expected to fall by Friday.

Joy oh joy! Oh, and another thought.. hairspray just doesn't work well enough in the rain. Now I am going to have a plastic head-hair-do. It is so not going to be a pretty sight. Mousse, gel, hair smoother, and a blowdryer will not be able to control the forces that are falling from the sky at mock speed.... I need to invent a method by morning.... I have a fork... perhaps I will go with that idea for a considerable new look... I am at least hoping to get some volume out of it.

I wonder if I would feel the same.. if all of this could be a warm wetness, rather than this cold wetness...hmmmm... I do have a friend who is leaving for Maui on Wednesday for 7 weeks... perhaps I should test the wet warmness factor there....that would be a start at least!! Maybe I could figure out how those little paper umbrellas actually work...

Must stop typing now.. I am very cold... VERY COLD... although it is dry in this home... it still isn't warm.. must find heat fast. I am an unmeltable snowman.

And the gayness goes on...

Well, he is happily watching that show...that show.. something..... yes, Desperate Housewives. (Only after completing all of his self-made chores... dinner cookage and breadmaking..) these are the e-mails that I am sending out without him knowing...

... so the question was asked if I/WE (the latter which is not a usual request)... to go out with some friends... this was my responsse:

Ok... the commercials here.. and I am being met with resistance. He's scared.... very scared... I told him about the B-U-F-F-E-T. He appears queazy...I will work on him... I will break down his defenses.... I will lie to him ...I will try not to steal his money....he is just not sure about parting with his money.... perhaps I could suggest that he can monitor my money bloodletting that will occur.... perhaps I will have to perform some wifely miracle.... he he he he he he he he he he he. D.

Are you gay?

That was the first question that I asked my now husband, many many moons ago. How nice does that sound.... "Are you gay??" asks the silly girl with the amazingly weird but almost likable hair. (me). As of tonight I am once again asking that question......

How does he do it??? How is this man capable a building a the softest smoothest yummiest absolutely porportioned batch of white buns on this side of city... where there is no bakery close... with the exception of Save-on-Foods....

But then.... he also made his secret mashed potatoes... and they were a secret... I still don't know how to make regular mashed potatoes.. so he could be lying here.....

Then of course there was the dark gravy happenings also going on...I tried adding my two bits.. which clearly were handed back to me ...with a tisk included....

And.. two vegtables included in the meal.. which is big for him.. considering where we got the scurvey son and all....

Of course then the clean-up occured.. and I find that if I get in the middle of clean-up.. he get's a little miffed.. as in he constantly bumps into me... I think that is a sign that he wants to me bump out.. and if I don't do it in quick speed.. he will bump me off. Freak.

But then.... he's not done... then he sets his (mine) breadmaker... for another loaf of bread. Once again... show off... the whole while... the dryers on... and I certainly didn't do it.

That's it... I was right.. he is just so gay.

Can someone make them smarter?

I went to work today... and all I was hoping for was some common sense... from somebody, anybody... knock knock...right...

"We're sorry, all of the people that you wish for, have not come to work today, you will have to be stuck with all of the people that can not think beyond their noses, or can not preplan anything beyond the outside of a patient's room. Sorry for your inconvenience Deanna, perhaps today wasn't the choice of days to come to work, better luck next week."

I think my little universe of common sense collided with the massive amount of sleetsnow that was left on the streets this morning.

But then of course there was my friend... who had a headache for the better part of the day.. I was frightened to talk with her... because all of the other people were competing for her attention. In fact... so was her husband...on a normal non-head-ache filled day for her, I would have talked to her Mr. Husbandman.. but since she had the look of an impending headblowing event, I just stayed the course... and did what I did, whatever that is.

By the time I left today.. it was chaos. C-O-M-P-L-E-T-E chaos. I was quite happy to dust depart.. On a good note, I was able to get a good bunch of junk done.. that nobody knows that I do.. I just do it.

Of course... upon coming home..... I have been massively hunting for a new position somewhere.. but then again.. I have also tried to book a trip to Cancun, Nova Scotia, and Quebec. None of which happened either. I need to be rescued from this job... really. I do not have an ounce of patience to deal with the questions and peoples oddities and quirkiness to see through another year. Then of course.. there are the patient's families... and they are all freakshows unto themselves..... I will book my holiday (time that is... not holidaying as in "hot beaches") for as much as a I can spread it out.... this is going to be a long year.

I will of course fail to mention that I am OVERLY PICKY when it comes to finding such a PROMISING POSITION somewhere.... it has to be just the right hours, not over a bridge.. (well, at least one that takes a long time to try and just get to that is...)... and suitable for me.. I do not want to be someone's assistant. Did I ever write and say.. I really hate my name.. especially when I hear it every 2 minutes by stupid people. And that's all I will say to that nasty little statement.

So, my wish for this day... make all the people that are already smart, but came to work stupid instead..... find their brains, and then come back to work next weekend... when yet again, I will still be there... and we can try this all over again... I'd be willing to try. Or, am I just a sucker for punishment?? he he he he he....

Sleetman cometh

So, it snowed. woohwho. yae. snow. Yes, big fluffy flakes of white billowing snow. WHICH ALL CAME TO A CRASHING HALT. Boombangdone. Now it is sleeting outside. How the hell can it sleet... I think it should snain, no wait... instead of snaining, it should be sleetsnow, or what about sleet-and-snow-is-slain... (say that fast 3 times). That would be the fine mix of snow and rain... snaining out. Not here though... what started out white has gone crystal clear. Mr. Husbandman has already cleaned the sleet slash snow from the driveway. I think he is a snainer lover.

WE should all be green by the a.m. My next greatest fear will be the fact that THE GIRL will have to play soccer...in the snain sludgy fields. She already DESPISES the whole game... let alone play while it is snaining or sleetsnow. I am not sure how we are going to get this girl to finish playing out the season...so far, we have done well for the first two weeks of January... we haven't had to see any form of it quite yet. Except for the soccer coach man at school... he reminds me daily that the Pipster belongs to a team... some how I wish we could just lose ourselves from this team.. just because the girl DESPISES soccer way too much. She doesn't even know the word despise... but it clearly can be used to describe her and the name soccer in the same sentence.
She even has me convinced that she should no longer go... and I am not one to give up anything too easily.. at all...I mean... I have to consider how much the boy doesn't like Tae Kwon Do on any given day.. and yet.. I still make him go back, twice a week.... for the last 3 three years. One day I am certain he will be happy about me dragging him there... but I won't wait for that rainbow quite yet...

Meanwhile... I will continue to watch it snain and sleetsnow. Oh dear.

I have been a bit short on words this past week... but this might spark some attention to detail.... what is this? 

When I said pink, I really meant it!