Almost the end of a decade.

Close call and all.

Schlepping in ... pretty much in the 19th hour ... just to say... HEY I MADE IT!!

I can’t even do a recap of the year, as that would take a shit ton of concentration, and this aging Wilba-Lou is almost out of memory juice!

I think it snowed in January, and the gluten girl and I went to a gluten fair. And sushi on Granville. When I USED to eat sushi, but I will get to that.

February, was (AND STILL IS) the shortest month ... SUPER SUPER SUPER big month for the WildBoy and the band ... they made it onto CTV ... did it take them anywhere ... not as “the people” promised ... THAT SAID ... what a truly wonderful journey, and not everyone can say they have made it to television, let alone to be picked out of 30,000 applications to be on a show. For me, I putted along at my irregular pace.

March.... that was the month the Sir and the boy dismantled trees from our trees. They chucked baseballs into the branches and then strong armed them to the ground. I have videos, hopefully I do not accidently delete them.

April. It was spring .. The Sir’s mom up and died on the 27th. Sad, almost shocking, but peaceful, in reality, not really a bad way to go. She left her house full of over 80 years of treasures, which we were now in charge of getting rid of. Bless her, in a way an atheist would wish to be blessed.

May .... I decided I was just simply too large, and had to shed some weight .. so I embarked on doing “keto” ... whatever that meant, but a change of tides was starting to happen. I completed my Diploma in Rehabilition & Disability Management at SFU. Wow, go me.

June ... I think I am losing weight!
July.... I think I am losing weight!


..... and then we will have to fast forward all the way to August when again I made my way to Port Alberni to see the wildboy. I went with my long time forever friend ... she claimed she did not recognize me in the parking lot. I will believe her .. since she wears glasses and all!

September I got a manicure after 28 1/2 years... after a day of gardening while not wearing gloves.

October we high-tailed it to Cannon Beach, it was a beautiful time. Our plans ran askew when the Sir got nervous about trying to visit with our dog, and my friends dog. I was super disappointed. So we made alternate plans, and in the end, it actually was for the better.  At the end of October I hosted an 80th birthday party for my mom ... it was a surprise .. and she was surprised .. gotta admit .. pretty happy over that event!

November sped along, and I managed to excitedly shed pounds and actually take beastly boy for a walk for the first time since having the leg re-assembled into a fake one. Him and I went eagle watching... it was beautiful. I became a “trainer” for amputee volunteers.

December is almost out the door, but not before I have set up my new tri-pod, taken photos, sent the girl to Disneyland, and have almost managed to lose 50 pounds. Oh, and I still do not have a new job!

I am once again hopeful and grateful for the good people, and good things that come to my family, friends and myself. May this next decade bring continued fulfillment in each persons lives.

Peace be with you.

Seriously AUGUST !!!

Good Morning to the people of the Internet lands that fill my blogger feed with great stories and good laughs.

You have missed me, I can tell.

I can officially say .. I have been busy. Busy walking about, or bumbling along, given the time of day or the amount of flower watering I have managed through out the day.

Life is cruising along a predicted and steady path. I am gaining strength and speed, and losing gadgets along the way. I am "sort-of" down to using a cane, rather than a walker to motor about. That's a crazy amount of confidence to trust that your brain can think and react on two different playing fields. ALL.THE.TIME.

That's an accomplishment.

I have been able to "kind-of" adapt to walking and maneuvering on the lawn. Wow, what a treat ... Sort of .. Basically it means that I can get to my flower beds, but given the time of day, I can't do it when I am bordering on exhaustion .. It is VERY VERY hard ... Attending to two completely separate tasks, and doing them to completion is monumental!

Currently around these parts the heat has been hitting us a little on the hard side .. So I have to go it slow ... The leg doesn't exactly like being cooped up in a liner that does not permit any type of breathing space ... And embarking on any type of endurance or exercise or even movement (see above paragraph!) sparks a flurry of perspiration ... So pretty much all my movement is slowed considerably.

The other night I was out walking around the block with the four wheeled walker, a cane, and walking poles .. The husband says to me .. "Uhm .. If you didn't have so many gadgets with you, you might be able to walk a little faster .. !" ... I was trying out all the walking apparatus to see what was the easiest method of movement. I am still as slow as a snail. The Lego Man said to me that I was working at a disadvantage. Perhaps. My brain sees this as a huge advantage .. From here, it can only get better.

So my "government issued leg" will be slowly replaced by the $14,000.00 leg, if the insurance companies agree to it. I hope they do. It will improve my mobility & extend my ability to conquer lifes agenda ... Although I will not be able to get a hidden compartment for lipstick, or a USB port, or even Bluetooth ... But, it will give me the ability to freely move about ... With greater ease.

I went to the gym the other day to ride the upright bike at the community Center. They only had one upright bike. I didn't want to ride a recumbent ... The gym attendant helped me get on the bike, and even strapped my foot to the peddle, so it would stay on. I did mention that I would need help to get the foot un strapped, since I couldn't even reach it. No problem she said. After 15 minutes of riding, I saw her pluck upon a cupboard, reach for her purse, and yell over to some gym folks .. Alright people, I'm leaving, she said. WTF. There I was ...stuck to the upright bike with my right leg ...  The first and last time I go to the community Center gym.

I spent July 31st having an awesome day ... as much as I tried not to think of the monumental time that had passed since last year, the same day I had the leg departed ... I spent THIS July 31st with two of the boys friends, and the boy, and the girl in the back yard ... It was simply an awesome day ... One that makes me feel just so thankful that I am alive, and over the hurdles of the past four years. Big deal, at this time, I am currently learning how to walk, and virtually re-do life ... But THIS I can do !!

TODAY I am debating what is on my agenda ... So far I have missed walking at the tack, it is too hot to go now .. I want to garden, but that will lead to a hot and unhappy leg ... And yet .. I wish to NOT be stuck inside ... Which is why I do not wish to keep painting my picture that sits at the other end of this table .. So something of greatness will have to come my way .. I am thinking I am going to go for a car ride to the Americas .. I am going to bring my camera and take pictures .. I think that is what I am going to do ..

Off to find my passport .. Later my favourites !!!!

Treadmill trekking!!!

Today !!! I walked on a treadmill .... The first time in over 4 years that I walked at a pace that didn't involve a limp, or in agonizing pain.

Yes, and in the process the treadmill said I burned 9 calories ... NINE WHOLE CALORIES!!!

The physio claims that I burned a whole lot more ... She said that people that are working harder at working burn more calories than the regular folk.

The best thing is I WALKED!!!! It was lovely and beautiful and simply enjoyable to keep plodding in a forward direction ...

The nice thing is she recognized that I was able to walk faster, and with a longer stride, and when that happened ... The walking became much more patterned and second natured ... But then the treadmill can have that effect on someone ...

So today I trekked on the treadmill, but in my mind, I might as well have finished a marathon!

A reason to write:

I just got back from rehab a while ago.

How free, lovely and boring of me ... I drive over to rehab, pull on a leg, and walk back and forth on a long wooden board with handrails ...

HOW IS THAT for cool and boring!!?!

Last week I had a little breakdown into tears .. Taking those first steps after many LONG months of enduring the process of hopping, and before that, the exhaustingly horrific months of constant mind numbing pain and fear that this horrible cancer was searching out another hiding spot in my body.

TODAY ... I said to the physio lady ... This feels like I am walking in my running shoe, except it's my leg ...

HOW BEAUTIFUL is THAT????

I have been avoiding this little space .. So much has happened .. And I am free to be... And that I am. I can't believe that I haven't taken the time to capture the shear excitement of my first steps ... But then again ... It isn't so awesome, everybody walks - more or less ... I knew eventually this is the space I would find myself in ... Which I am HUGELY grateful for ...

Yesterday I grimaced .. And the  physio lady asked if I was in pain ... "No, not at all", I said ... " I am just trying to concentrate" .... The reason being ... I am visiting the rehab department .. Where the majority of the folks are recovering from Strokes, and at my time, I am the only one minus a limb. All I could think about was ... "Deanna, when is it going to be your chance to start back again ... " All I could think about were the possibilities that were within reach of my own personal successes, as long as I kept walking... I was grimacing as I continued to take my steps because I was telling myself to stay focused in the "here and now" ... Stop looking to the future ... It will happen, as it happens... But I am so happy and thankful and anxious to further my journey ... And my journey with belonging to the stroke community ... And I just want to be back, making a difference, if that is what I am doing when I am there ...

I did find a reason to come here today ... I always wonder about the difference that I might to people in the world, and I feel that it is never enough ... At least not right now ... So I found myself hunting about on Facebook as a lunchtime distraction ... And I found this guy:

https://colontosemicolon.com/

https://www.gofundme.com/canadianbucketlist


TALK about making a difference, talk about changing people's lives, talk about a purpose, talk about the evils and ravages that cancer has on individuals and their families ... THIS guys single idea will make such a difference to people in their journey's .... I very much feel it is a worthwhile cause ... I felt a little inspired to come here today and whisper a couple of humour words ... Thanks to this stranger.

Moments of what ifs:

There generally comes a day when life slows down to the grinding halt of nothingness. Absolute nothingness. Any reasonable human can seriously ask the question .. You can't be for real?

And yet, I am.

Seven months of hopping around, it begins to take it's toll.

Not in a way that brings about sadness, or in a way of regret, but one of "let's go already."

I have come up upon challenges that are not challenges, but are in fact speed bumps presenting as hurdles. My mindset is still focused on that I can definitely overcome these speed bumps, I just have to stop envisioning them as hurdles.

My hip is tired. Very tired. I begin any task of the day, and I am sorta just worn out faster because this leg is tired of working for two. I have to remind it to be kind to me, and hang on, it won't be long now before it gets to share the work. I have to remember to be gentle to it as well. Which in actuality means that all the tasks that I do, I must simplify, and ease this legs burden.
I need my G.P. To sign a form, which she is impossible to get into.
I have to ensure any appointment I try to make with the G.P. That I actually have a way of getting to the location to see her.
I am anxious to have this V.A.C. Removed to begin my world of rehab. A place where my lovely runner sits quietly on a shelf, waiting for it to begin it's adventures with it's twin! I am certain how I can hear it bellowing .. "Hurry the FRUITBALLS UP you moron!!"
Now I have to go for a Bone Scan, which in my opinion is a waste of time. But that's what I have to do.
I have to start doing my exercises again, which will happen tomorrow, once I get this V.A.C. Off.
I am dealing with the guilt of not exercising this leg, which for me everyday not exercising it, has huge implications when I return to walking in the next number of weeks.
Now I will have to deal with learning to drive with my left foot. I am going to genuinely assume that this will just become habit, and my love to drive will be free to me once again.

This isn't really a list of horrible items, but these are the things that are on my mind, constantly.

Getting my life back into functioning order. This is what I am waiting for. It's only been seven months as a one legged version, but it's been going on FOUR YEARS in the process.

Hi lights from the hopper

I should rename this blog ... "Life of a Hopper", Hopper Chronicals, The no bunny tailed rabbit, hopping along the path of life, when only hopping happens, long time hopper - just me and the walker, one-legged hopping machine, the hoop jumper, My Leg on the Shelf of LIfe, I can see it, but can't touch it.

There; an array of details and events of how I feel about this hopping garbage.

THIS is the size of what is stopping from wearing my leg that sits on the shelf in the rehab department.

3cm x .5 x 1cm deep.

THAT'S IT.

Hurry the fuck up already ..... This is BORING to the power of ten.... And then some.

I very nicely had my lovely friend drive me today .... She is just so very real and delightful ... We can whine about the same things with our little family units ... And then although we come up with no solutions to help them (IT COULD NEVER BE US !!!!!! Right !!!?), we feel better nattering about the goings on in the mundaneness of life events.

So the wound care nurse came ... And while I am pretty close to being fed up ... I'm not completely fed up, although she said the words "fed up" ... However  I'm not ... I'm getting sorta at the end of the rope, because of course spring is approaching .. And I need a leg to do the gardening details ... If March comes, and then goes, and I do not have a leg by then .... Well ... This chickalit could be a little on the wild side of typical.

In the meantime .... The BC Transportation Safety Board has FINALLY processed my application. It only took 4 months ... But somehow they have managed. Now I can move forward in the "getting back to driving" department .... Now that's a piece of excitement to be excited for.

So now ... I will await a VAC ... And hopefully this whole MRSA thing will just melt away ... I think I need someone on the ball with this one ....

Such hi lights for this hopper ... Let's hope NEXT month when bunnyrabbits become real ... That I will hop out the other side .... And off I will WALK along that bunny trail.aasics, ampute

Today finally arrived.

This day took forever to get here.

I am fascinated that TODAY ... Arrived on the same day that a loved one had passed. I can't help but think of the reason for that ... !! I think that spirit father of mine had something to do with it.

My mom was fascinated with the spirit church thingy-majig. One day I will take her.

SO ... Today ... TODAY I got to stand on my lovely fake leg. It was so lovely to stand on that leg. Unbelievable beautiful actually.

My best best moment was The Lego Man ... Just sitting back, and giving me that moment of standing on that leg ... Letting me feel intact and whole again,... Letting me feel BETTER than I felt in so many months that have turned into years ... He just backed up, and let me have that moment of feeling like the person I once was, before this "thing" took over.

For comfort and safety sake .. I wore my green comfy vest ... What an unbelievable high.

Prosthetics ... What a pretty cool profession ... I certainly couldn't do it ... But GLAD somebody can!

Come here, sit down .... And ... WAIT.

OK... Really ... I would love to know the mind fuckers that have re-entered my life suddenly.

I say it happened suddenly ... Because it appears that is the case, when I wasn't actually paying attention.

MONTHS ago I tried getting my drivers license re-organized so I could drive with my left foot. The BC transportation safety board are working on applications ... From September 1st. I sent my application in .. In October ... Although I sent PART of the little bastard application in .. In September ... Meanwhile ... This BITCH has been immobilized by the 3.2 million drivers in British Columbia that someone has to deal with. Today ... I am starting to LOSE my patience at the stupidity. I knew this would happen. OMFG ... Just hurry up for craps sake .....

Then ... I called the Rehab's specialists office ... The very lovely secretary told me the wait to see the first plastic surgeon was 3 - 4 months ... I suggested it may not be best to wait for him .. Since he wasn't too much in a hurry to fix me when this WAS cancer.... Certainly NOW .. That it isn't ... He will be in that much LESS of a hurry! Moving onto the 2nd plastic surgeon now .... For the LOVE of GAWD ... Hurry this up.

Oh wait ... That's not going to happen on all accounts ... I am a NOBODY in this world of numbers, and face less names ....

Yes, too many cups of coffee ........!!!!!