The secret life of me

It's good to have secrets... it keeps people guessing about what is actually going on inside that bad head of hair. Although... the past couple of weeks, I have been successful in prooving to the rest of the street that I am truly on the edge of reason... I have taken up walking around our crescent, and then back along the other street, which essentially forms an extra large track.

I think this circling is merely a representation of the life that I lead on the whole. I just keep going and going, but it never leads to anywhere... I always end up in the exact same spot as I did when I started. Not that this is really a bad thing, but I wonder about the opportunities that would open up if I jumped off my beaten track. I enjoy circling the block, it's comfortable and welcoming. I always know which direction I am headed, I know the special spots along the way to walk on, and the spots to avoid. I even know the people that reside in almost every home. Why avoid familiarity, when adventuring has nothing to gain?

I have in the past ventured forth, and have beaten a new path, but even that didn't last for a great length of time. Then it all becomes an issue that the "grass is greener on the otherside"... which means that if I am willing to walk for endless steps for great periods of time... then surely I must be willing to drive to a desired location and march about with determination. Granted, I do very much enjoy walking the circular path of a rubberized track, but it's the effort to find the time to drive to the location then walk for the desired amount of time, and then carry on for the next scheduled event of the day.. and I must say.. at that point my hair is even more worse for wear, and I am crazy with thoughts that have been travelling through my mind at break neck speed while I circulated the track. Of course at this point I am either too jovial to be in public, or just a bit too crazed. At any rate, it has gotten way too complicated and out of control with the "grass is greener" route.

So, in an effort to simplify, I now walk around our crescent for endless amounts of time.... and meet up with friends and neighbours and dogs and their owners and enjoy the scenery and breathe in the fresh air, and wave at the people staring out at me from their livingroom windows, or their porches and patios.

I wont let on that I just keep singing.... "just put one foot in front of the other....". Yes, it's the secret life for me.... it's just better that way.

Hamsterson's Friday board-break.

The Hamsterson tested for his black stripe tonight. Here he is breaking boards with his hand, and a back kick. I often wonder why I keep this boy at this Tae Kwon Do place... sometimes the instruction is a little (VERY!) lax... and then the Master said to me yesterday. "The only person I watch in this room is "the hamsterson" while he is testing, it does not matter how well he does compared to the rest of the Tae Kwon Do students, and it doesn't matter if he ever goes anywhere with his TKD, but what does matter is.. that he has a goal for himself, and for his future, and not just sitting at home on the couch accomplishing nothing, that is the most important thing...."

It's a beautiful day when:

1. BOTH the chicklets are up, dressed, washed, brushed and fed at 07:11 in the morning.

OK, the list stops here.... there is nothing more beautiful than that. Well, one other miniscule thing, like finishing up the load of dishes on the counter, and doing two loads of laundry before 0830. That can be added only as a sidebar to the amazing first featured number one & only above this. More amazing things later.....

The real reason you have to love the internet...

So the idiotic-and-lucky-to-be-alive-but-none-the-less-lovely-catdog was more than helpful yesterday morning. (((NOT))) Little Miss Ellpee brought out the real reason why people have computers.

They are only to shop with. That's all. The real reason would be for this:

The other day we had a pot luck lunch at our Stroke Group. One of the fellows always brings chicken wings. He happily puts them into a pyrex dish, with a nice snap on blue cover, and then inserts the dish into a beautiful sea-green zippered carry bag that has a heating cushion on the bottom of it. It's a very lovely device, I have thought ... the many times I have seen it. It also adds to the loveliness of it... the fact that he just raves about how much he loves it. So we are all in love with his pyrex dish, and his pyrex dish holder. Although the other day our favourite pyrex dish owner was not feeling well, and left me with his beloved hot wings, inside of his hot dish, which were inside of the sea-green carrier. I told him I would take good care of it. Which I did. After the pot-luck I fed the husbandman turned contractor a big plate of lovely tasting chicken wings. Not soon after that I then had to clean out the pyrex dish, and the lid, and the sea-green carrier, and inside of the heating pocket, the heating pad... I had to clean and clean and clean and clean and clean..... and clean. I kid you not I had to clean... I just kept cleaning, and it didn't seem to want to lose the juices left over from the chicken wings. I think the pyrex dish itself was in love with those chicken wings. Anyways.. after a great amount of time.. I finally was satisfied with the clean factor of the sea-green carrier. I was planning on giving the sea-green's carriers owner a hard time this next Monday for being very enthusiastic with the chicken wing sauce... as it was everywhere....!!! I placed it on the counter, and put a towel beneath, and let the whole contraption air dry. Things were going fine......

until.......

the very next morning, just before I was going to put the chicken carrying contraption back together... a certain little catdog took an interest in the whole affair... and I might add, just enough interest to pull the lid and the sea-green container to her house. And that was it... she isn't a chewer or a wrecker... well only kind of. I inspect the lid for bite marks... and there was a very slight indentation on the rim, and it still did it's job of fitting perfectly over the 9 x 13 pyrex dish. I gave it another good wash.. and set it on the counter. Then I picked up the sea-green container, and upon initial inspection it seemed to have come out unscathed... like I said, she's not a chewer.. she just investigates. It wasn't until way way way later... that I started to put the dish back in it's carrier.. and just zip it up. Very simple.. except for the wee bit of a snag on the zipper...first words out of my mouth..... WHAT THE FUCK!............. Yes, I try and keep it clean when I can... but when things go bad.. so does the language. So after about 20 rounds of FUCKNESS, which didn't serve any real purpose, because it didn't help to get the zipper put back on the BELOVED SEA-GREEN CARRIER....I turned to the silly catdog.... and gave her a good hissing.

Which now leads me to the whole internet thing.... I looked up pyrex, and eventually found all kinds of things that you can order right from the screen.... all kinds of stuff. Except for the carrier. Once again... FUCK hit the fan. I blew off an email, in a desperate attempt to see if I could order it... and then had to sit and wait and cross my fingers that this was a possible deal. I headed out to the mall first thing this morning.. to find this great sea-green carrier.... and after many rounds of the mall, I came up empty handed. Well, kind of empty handed... I did have to purchase the lovely Hamsterson some boxers... because the regular undies/briefs had turned into white-tighties... so I did have some luck in the undies department....

After all that.... I received an email from the pyrex people.. and ended talking to some guy from Greenfield, Pennsylvania... and ordered me one WATER BLUE 3L pyrex dish carrier. I might even love my Mastercard more. I am not sure how much I am in love with my silly catdog.... for the moment.

Love the hot lunch

Hands down, without a doubt... you have to love hot lunch day. It just makes that part of the morning just a bit more perkier... just knowing that you (meaning me) do not have to put lunches together. It is just that special to me.

In other things that are special....

I quite like getting up at the 0700 hour... it makes getting to school a little bit easier... other than the 0835 mistaken hour.. that we woke up to yesterday. Oooops.

I like the internet. It makes shopping for obscure items just that much easier.

I like Costco... they have cheap bedding plants available... so being their at just the right time is a bit helpful as well.

The dryers constant "eeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee" is a very special noise to me. It is what helps to keep me OVER THE EDGE whenever I am at home, and inside... like now. I especially like the special way I turned it on for the husbandman-turned-contractor the other day when he was busily working to rebuild our laundryroom... I let him listen to it for a number of hours... and he is the one insisting that we do not need a new dryer... so I just let him whistle away to the "EEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEING" for a couple of hours.

I know I am very helpful, in a special kind of way.

But not as special as hot lunch.

Tra la la la

That is the song that you sing when you wake up in the morning... A TAD BIT LATE.... AGAIN. I think I had a scarey dream at 0345 this morning... which woke me up, then I decided that I better get up... because I couldn't listen to the husbandmans snoring... so I went and shared the couch with the crazy little tail wagging catdog. While sharing the couch and watching television at four in the morning with the catdog, I did however manage to learn how "box springs and beds" were made, how come people snore, and Black Tuesday, the dirty thirties & the stock exchange. With that amount of knowledge set in my head, I believe I sleep walked back to bed.

Anyways... everybody made it to their posts before the 0900 bell blew.. so all is good.

In other news that is good....

The husbandman/contractorman has secured the new back door with a lock and key, and ordered two of the three new windows for the laundryroom. Now that the ant party festival of wood eating fun has come to an end, hopefully the new lumber will remain sturdy for another 50 years. Just as the contactorman was cleaning up for the night.. I looked up, waaaaay up.. and spotted a rather frightening sight... I think it was the queen of all queens of ants cruising across the currently ugly wall. This called for an intervention... of the human kind. Good night my queen......

Back to the circus..

I must type quickly... I have just noticed the scheduled outage in 15 minutes. I wonder if I will go into complete system failure at that point as well.

My life of living in a shambles has started. The most amazing and brilliant Mr. Husbandman has framed in the new doorway entrance to our laundryroom. He has also cured us of our ant chomping sawdust building nonfriends. Our laundryroom is currently boarded up, due to the lack of windows and doorknobs we presently do not possess.

I am the package up woman... I just keep finding things that I need to package up.... that is my contribution, other than keeping the cupboards full of food to keep the Mr. Husbandman a full and happy workman.

Must disappear... before this system does it for me.

That little eeek turned into a shriek!

Today I failed, yes, failed miserably. It's a simple tale of fail....

Earlier today the husbandman made his way to the lumber store and bought himself a new back door. He MISTAKENLY thought that he would be framing in the new back door, and patching up the little section where the ants had entered.

(This is the failure part......) My little digital sat silent in my black bag... I refused to take it out... I refused to keep an image record of the damage that the ants really did to the back portion of our house. The husbandman ripped off the siding, and the plywood, and the support beams (well, they were really just chewed bits of tunnels and piles of sawdust actually)... and now, many many hours later... we have all new pressure treated support beams, and replacement parts all supporting the back part of the house... I am wondering what day it would have been to see our house collapse around us..... and the door that he was going to frame in and install today.. is still sitting at the side of the house. That's a project for another day... I hope. I am thankful for the fact that at least when the husbandman gets to doing the actual kitchen renovation... we may have a frame of a home to install it in. Ants are bad... very bad.

I found this title on one of the many "need to read" lists that circulate... I know I never read it in highschool. It is one of those titles that have always stuck with me... for some unknown reason.

The Queen of Action...

I have been patiently waiting for the grasscutter man to come and pop holes in the lawn, and grind up all the weeds that somehow afflict it on a yearly basis. It's been two weeks. I did call him the other day and ask if he would be coming before Friday.... last night ((during Survivor!!)) the call came in... that he would definitely be here between 0930 - 1000 today, being Friday. Yae oh yae....

The one slight trick is.... I want the grasscutter man to mulch, hole up and deweed a back portion of my lawn... as it is extremely afflicted with weeds, and always is for some reason. I came clean and told the husbandman that I had a grasscutterman coming in to do a job, that the husbandman could probably do... except he doesn't have the time for. I could do the job as well, but I don't seem to have the time for it... so I am willing to pay the grasscutterman that brings himself, and a crew of two, to do the job.... they have the time for it! Although the husbandman already has his day planned with his new fangled reno job he is doing... now he is out back cutting the lawn... for the grasscutterman.. which is the very reason that I didn't want to tell the husbandman that a grasscutterman was coming... which is the very reason that I wanted the grasscutterman to come before today (Friday), as I knew it was the husbandmans day off.

OH well.... it's action of some sort...

There can't be a day without some PIPNESS

The Pipster and her pink egg... the great find from the Easter Egg hunt...

 

OK....eeeeeeeekkkk.

The husbandman ripped off part of the drywall in the laundry room. It's a small wall, with a very big job... he found an ant colony happily residing/eating away part of the wall. How very exciting... that's just ewe, plus an extra shriek of eeeekkkkk! The husbandman kingman said in his steady quiet and controlled self... " I thought I would see something like this".... Now he gets to replace the plywood, plus the siding on our house. It's all good.

In other things that are good......

I have been up since 06:45. Plus, I am drinking a homemade version of a "London Fog" (Which BTW is Earl Grey Tea, steamed milk and a shot of vanilla....it's very tasty....) It's way better than yesterdays mistaken sleep-in after the almost offing event, and then wake-up time of 8:33. Although ... it all worked out... at least the Hamsterson was able to get his haircut...

And now today....

Here's the boys new haircut....

 

A Little OLD

This pic has seen this space before... but I will capture a new shot of him today... in black and white... I know one thing.. he has more teeth in that lovely smile of his. 

One job down

And about 37 more to go. I managed to clean out the laundry room, and chuck out about thirteen dozen something or others into recycling and the garbage. I even went through scraps of material and crafty items... and discarded some. How huge for me...!

In other crafty events:

The boy is getting some award today at school. The volvo-driving-chicken-farmers wife gave me the heads up, that the lovely hamsterson is getting some award. I can only figure that his teacher will dream something up and write it down for Mr. Ratburn, OH, I mean the principal to read. It should be a splendid event. Luckily, I have friends in the right places... the volvo-driving chicken-farmers wife saved me from the year long "Pride" awards.. at the end of the year, and added Hamstersons to the list. SO, with the grand picture taking even being done that goes with the award... the boy needs his haircut. His hair is kinda long, and yicky looking. I think he looks like an ever so handsome Hamsterson with the hair cut short. AND, because WE were all late waking up this morning... I didn't make lunches... so I told the chicklets that I would pick them up at lunch, and take them to sandwhich store.... right next to the hair cutter place.... just in time for the pride assembly this afternoon.

Also... IF I was a tad bit motivated I would dump some hair colouring on my badly coloured locks and show up as a normal person. Although I do not think that I have my friends fooled...

OH... I believe I tried to off myself last night. I woke up around 1:30 in the am... and was having a hard time breathing.... like something sitting inside my esophagus/trachea.... AH yes, an undissolved vitamin C... I can taste that citrussy flavour the second it enters the mouth. ... and I can still taste it now... many many many hours later... but on that whole suffocation thought.. I am glad I am able to taste it... even though it is rather annoying, plus it kept me awake for a great many hours last night...

Well, I have many tasks calling to me.... clean and colour, colour and clean.

Let the races begin...

The husbandman has begun the transformation of the little homestead. He has moved the dogs cage from the laundry room to the den. It's really beginning to freak me out. All this enormous change... OK, just kidding here.... I am now embracing that bubble language in my head where I asked silently for less talking from the husbandman, and more action... I believe I am finally getting what I wanted...

In other questionable adventures...

The lovely Hamsterson was up at 0700 the previous four mornings. Of course there were important things like PLAYSTATIONS 2 to behold. This very morning, since it was the first day back to school and all, he was barely out of bed at 0820. Me, being the kind and lovely mother that I tend to be.... kept hissing that we were walking to school WE ARE WALKING!!! I started the countdown at 0821.... "We will be leaving at 0840"..... Of course we didn't leave until 0845, but that still got us the school on time. Yae for us.

My "cool" job for the day is emptying out the rest of the laundry room, with the exception of the washer and dryer. The husbandman has left me the huge shelf, and other assorted items to paw through, and decide if I really need to keep them... or not!.. Since I am having great difficulty parting with many of my things... I decided that I would come here and write it all down first... although I may be drawn to the great outdoors, as the sun has come out, and I know I will be distracted by it. At least I think I will.... of course I will try anything not have to clean....

When is it the right time for wine???

I seem to have issues with the correct time to drink wine. The same correctness issues that people have with drinking the right wine with the meal. I am managing to have a great amount of time issues, let alone wine issues. It has taken me three days to come up with the correct red wine time. I don't seem to have these issues when I go scrapbooking with the Debbies.... the second I walk through the "right sided Debbies" door is the best time... but when I am at home... it just isn't the same... it has to be after a certain time of the day, and before another time of the day... and those exact times, I am not quite sure about.... I think that I should scrapbook with the Debbie's all the time... that way I could accomplish double duty, scrapbooking and the appropriate amount of red wine input time. That's it!!! I must go make the call to the "right sided Debbie"... she is going to have a new nightly basement dweller on her hands....

My list is growing taller, not smaller

I made a very small dent, in a very large pile. I couldn't remember if I had read this... but I believe I did many moons ago. I saw the film.... as sad as it was.

What is this....

The stalker has prooved to be a very useful young woman.... she has introduced me to something that I have bypassed for quite some time.. and I didn't even realize that I was bypassing it.

" London Fog "

.... we headed out the other evening for some useless tasks.. and on our way out we stopped at Starbucks (coffee place)... "to get a great cup of tea," the stalker sister said. I ended up having three of them within twenty four hours yesterday... they were just so delicious.... The Starbucks girl told me that name "London Fog" belongs to some other company, so the starbuck peoples don't actually call it that... but they know the term if someone orders it. ((( I feel so on the inside now ))). The recipe is so simple that it is painful, but it is so delicious it is unforgettable.

No really, rain harder

I am sure I am going to win mother of year... I believe that I am truly the one and only that should bring home the one big award...

I just took the chicklets to school. It is absolutely pouring out right now, I only remember one of the chicklets wearing a jacket.... OOOPS.

Now that I am home from bringing the chickets to school I noticed that someone forgot their lunch. I will not be rushing back to give them their lunch, which includes the recess snack... that chicklet will just have to wait until lunch time...

I couldn't get a brush through the Pipsters hair this morning, I think it's from not brushing it since Friday morning..... so I put it in a beautifully coiffed bun that should hold tight until approxiametly 3:00 PM... when school is out. I have to quit working weekends, I am not around for all of the day on Saturdays, and a greater portion of the day on Sundays... the husbandman doesn't really do long blond hair styles for almost nine year olds... I have to conserve his energy for CLEANING OUT bedroom closets of nine year olds.. which believe it or not.. makes me quite happier than a head of brushed long blond hair. It really is OK, since it is the Pipsters swimming day today... and I am hoping that I will be successful in getting some shampoo on those long locks to give it a semi-good rinse out. I actually do not really like the Pip to have freshly washed hair on a regular basis... because ever since she set foot into the school system, we have received notices of little BUG INFESTATIONS on a regular basis. Although... I do not fear the little things... it's nothing that my bottle of Tea Tree Oil hasn't kept under bay since her very first, and very last episode of head bugs.

I am waiting for the guys who come and "DE-everything-in-your-lawn" to show up. I am not sure if they are willing to come and demoss, deweed, poke holes and cutlawn.... when the weather is between streaming rain, and teeming rain... if there is a difference.

I will go... and get ready for the Monday group... while my dryer continues to squeal at me... and I turn psychotic by the noise, with the added help of some caffiene on board.... I should be in fine form in a couple of hours.

Finding the Macro in my Life.

 

Puddle jumper...

The other day I had to take the scaredy catdog to the vet. She was a mess. Well, kind of a mess, or maybe... a mess that was about to get messier. Her fur was sticking up all over the place, and she was busy scratching, and being itchy for what seemed "flealess" reasons. She really did look like she was a dog having a bad hair day... and the look of bewilderement on her face was the real clincher.... when the lovely and evil Prance the sable german shepherd was still alive, both the furry creatures had interchangable knicknames like "Hissy & Licky"... we never really knew which name belonged to who... other than both the furry beasts had to be called something when they stood next to one another because one was always hissing, and the other was licking at the hissers face.... anyways... the lovely Elpster had turned into SUPERLICKY, and it was really getting most annoying listening to the tiny slurping sounds in the middle of the night when I was already being cold and trying to sleep on the couch in the den, because the husbandman had snored one too many times for me to stay in the same room with him. Now I was being tortured by the SUPERLICKY silly catdog. Enough was enough.. something had to be done. I took the SUPERLICKY silly catdog to the vet.... where the messy furred licky catdog hid behind me the whole while she was at the vets office. I had to keep turning in circles so the vetman could find her.... by the end of the visit she was the one with all the drugs on board... and I was the one that ended up with all the bad hair.... by flinging around in circles after her. Now... she has turned into the non licky sleek haired super puddle pee-er.... from the medication. It's a good thing that we have really ugly linoleum that she gets to pee on.... I'd be PISSED if she was peeing all over the new kitchen floor... when it eventually arrives.

15 piles of what....

The husbandman and the Pipster are busily folding thirteen billion articles of clothing. I am scared by what I know, and do not want to see... it's a whole new world down there at the other end of the house. With the recent invention of "floors that are made for walking on"... this opens up a new concept of floors that are made for creating piles on... it scares me to think about it.

In other things that scare me:

It is 8:30... and I am exhausted.... not that it has anything to do with the fact that me and the husbandman had a nice evening chatting away with one another last night... and forgot about the time..... until 2:40 in the morning.. and then I had to be up at 6:00 for work. Just another reason that weekend working gets in the way of regular living...

This is scarey....That therapeutic touch really works.... REALLY. I had a wickedly wicked headache yesterday.. and my friend Laurie the physio performed her magic voodoo therapeutic touch all around me.. and I eventually started to feel better.... although my head still had that "dull boring afterthud" still permeating through me... but the actual ache was gone...

I have a billion and two things to do for my stroke group tomorrow... and none of which I am going to accomplish this evening. My brain waves have gone flat (after effects of the headache)... and I am having trouble just mentating on the notion that I want to be up VERY EARLY again tomorrow.. just to get a head start on the day.... but I can not leave this post as the husbandman and the pipster are still tidying her piles of stuff... which has now been transported into OUR bedroom.

I have added a a bunch of books to the library list... and I barely opened the books that got from them two weeks ago, and will be returning tomorrow anyways. I believe that they were going to be really great books. Oh well, I am now into purchasing books....just to save on the LATE fees!

I watched Memiors of a Geisha the other night... and I would not have gotten that movie AT ALL if I had not read the book. That just scares me.. a lot. How did anybody know what was going on....??? I also watched Good Night and Good Luck... on the computer monitor... now that black and white feature scared me.. immensley.

I still haven't coloured my hair. OK, that is just freakishly frightening.... must stop now... I am very scared...

The gorgeous floor

The husbandman found the Pip's bedroom floor today... I am ever so glad that I had nothing to do with it. WE seem to lose her bedroom quite often.... and I am not sure how we are to remedy this situation.... although we could perhaps start with getting rid of some of her beloved items from her bedroom. We have never been able to give ANYTHING of hers away.... except for her clothes... she's always willing to lose a couple of extra pile of clothes... because that makes way for many more bits and pieces of stuff. Pip likes her stuff.. and anything stuffed, or overstuffed, stuffed and fluffed, understuffed, stuffed-full, plum stuffed, fluffed-puffed-and-stuffed, huge stuff, small stuff, iffy stuff, old stuff, boy stuff, better yet... girl stuff, paper stuff, book stuff, craft stuff, she even likes her garbage stuffed. Pips all about her stuff, and now she has a floor once again, where she can gather her stuff in clear view for that fresh stuffed look. Her floor should be missing by the end of the week.... I even have brought home boxes.. for all her excess stuff.

The Bad Internet

How can the internet shut down? What happy people are busy fixing the places where you can go to find all kinds of information? Should this be cause for concern.... who knows...

In other causes for concern......

1. The hair needs to be coloured badly... as in not bad colour... but STAT like colour. It is too late now to start all the washing and waiting nonsense.
2. I came to my senses and cancelled the appt with the quack dermatologist doctor that I went to last week. Whew.
3. It seems to be rather dusty in this little homestead... but that job will not be accomplished until tomorrow... at the earliest. I wish the magic maid would make her appearance... well, that is if I had one.
4. My library books are due back on the 11th of next week... and I have only finished scouring through the first five pages.. of one book. They are unrenewable. Yes, unbelievable!
5. Where are the bears.. I haven't seen any yet...
6. The dryer really needs to stop it's squealing... it's like I have my very own torture chamber.. in my very own home. The husbandman has baby powdered, but to no avail it continues screaming at me... for as long as the drum rotates around.
7. I have lost the girls bedroom floor again... and we had just made some headway with vacuuming her hardwood floor ... my friend gave me a bag of clothing... which the girl adores.. if she could fit into half of it.
8. I am now going to attempt to go and style the badly quad coloured hair don't into something that looks... not like a horror movie.... and I will apply my lipstick.. just so people recognize me... I need some luck, and some earplugs...

Chop chop

The skies were great big and blue today. I hauled out my Edward Scissorhand Scissors and chopped up some branches. I am quite happy. QUITE. HAPPY.

Well, I am happy for that.. although I am not happy that the lovely lady Pipster is refusing to do her HANDWRITING homework. I will be sending it back to school not done, except for the scribbles on the lines where the practising didn't go so well.

Time change

I feel like I live in warped time zone. I drove up to my sisters palace on the hill... and her tulips are BLOOMING. I had to go out last week and buy up some primulas, just to add some colour to the homesteads fascade.

In other things that make no difference to anyones elses lives but mine:

I think it's time to get the "check engine" light dealt with. I have been driving around with this blazing orange light staring back at me from the dashboard of the 16 year old SUV for a number of weeks, I think I am done with it.

I saw 10 deer down at Minnekhada. It's quite the family they have growing down there. I would love to know where they hide during the winter months. I love the peaceful energy that radiates from them.

The girl was presented with a big huge bag of clothing by a friend of mine. This is lovely... except for the fact that I do not have the space for the clothes that the girl has that I bought her. This poses a BIG problem for the middle of her bedroom floor, which is usually scarce at the best of times.

I now have plans drawn for the new kitchen, and laundryroom, and new family room. The husbandman spent 7 hours milling about last week producing drawings for this next adventure. Of course like a picture, they are pretty to look at, but expensive to embark upon.

Now that the time change has happened... it has created a time warp for the girls personality. My Pip was Pipless this morning. I am hoping she is more "pip pip horray" by the end of the day. I have decided that she is going to need some severe happy pills by the time 4:45 rolls around... as she has told me that she WILL NOT be joining her friends in the pool for her new-fangled swimming. I think the husbandman bought some KING DONGS (the first time ever such chemical explosions wrapped in celophane have ever made it in the house)... this might cure her "nonswimitis" she hs this morning.

Well must go do things that people do.. like go to work. HA!

Pardon me.....

Yesterday I went for one of those specialized "lady" chest xrays. Which was then followed up by an ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was busy as a bee snapping pictures. I thought in my head as she was busy snapping... please stop with the picture taking... that is just too many pictures for my liking. Then she hopped off the chair... and said she would be back. While I was waiting for her, I thought I had not heard her right, when she said "I will be back"... I thought she had gone for lunch, and coffee... combined. So myself, and the pictures of myself on the monitor waited.... I stared at the pictures on the monitor, and wondered what all the black and white images were really saying... and then I thought back to the ultrasounds with the chicklets.... that was way easier.... there were a billion pictures on the screen of a little alien... and this was comforting... because I knew that ultimately it was a baby chicklet. I continued to wait, and stare. Eventually the ultrasound tech came back, and she brought a radiologist with her. He shook my hand and right away said, we don't have any bad news for you. ... But then he continued.... "You seem to be circling the drain".... (((( in my head I start screaming.... HOLY SHIT... did he just say I am circling the drain.. how the hell can that not be bad news?????))))).. but then I came to, and he continued talking that "I am circling in the storm". This is where he motioned with his hands, one fist he held steadfast, and the other hand swirling around it. ((((Once again, I started talking in my head.... I speak fucking english.. and I do not have a clue what you are saying))))... I do know that since "no real news is good news" I will go with that.. until I get the real interpretation from my regular doc.

Little life adventures:

I am one ball in, and have one ball to go.
The Fun Fur scarf will be ready before I know.

My hands are stiff, and the fingers are slightly hard to bend
Even the wedding ring is giving my finger a dent.

I have eaten many tabs of Tylenol since yesterdays visit in the toothstealers chair
These are all the stories at the moment, that I have to share.

How odd is that?

I can swear when I went to the dentist this morning that I was going to get a crown, but somehow that crown turned into a pair of plyers.. and now I'm toothless, by one.

It is a shame that I ran around my little homestead yesterday, cleaning and buffing and washing.. if I had waited for today, the toothstealer said for me to do nothing "physical" &/or "strenuous" for the next two days. Man, I can certainly screw up when I need to.

Well, I am off to buy some Extra Strength Tylenol......once the freezing empties from my face, there wont be any amount of lipstick that I could paint on my lips to add a smile to it.

Sitting upside down for a number of hours in a dentist chair really zaps you of your energy. But, I am going to have to do something rather quickly... because I have to be perky and funny for my Stroke Group in 30 minutes.... rah rah!

Just an observation....

Don't you just hate it when you think you have lost weight... because your jeans fit you better.. and then you figure out that your fly is down. Double crappers on that one.

In other things that are beyond belief:

I am happily slurping back a cup of coffee that has some "soy silk" creamer dumped into it... and I have to stir it up real good so as not to see the curdling effect on the steaming cup. Strange but true. Oh, and on that thought...the expiry date is not until April 19th. I am betting that I am going to be alive at the end of this cup of coffee.

OK, and I have come up with a list of songs to play...it's a stream of songs.....I am hoping that I can play them all. I'll make the list here... that way when I lose the actual list that I have written down.. I know I will have put it somewhere.. OUT THERE. OK, the next problem is... how do I play all this crap.... I CAN'T PLAY WITHOUT MUSIC IN FRONT OF ME.

1. Sonata Pathetique
2. James Bond Theme
3. Edelwiss
4. Canon
5. Candle in the Wind
6. The Blue Danube Waltz
7. Andy Griffth Theme
8. Over the Rainbow
9. Lovin Dat Man of Mine
10. Space Odyssey
11. What a Wonderful World
12. Paino Man
13. Speak Softly Love
14. Star Wars
15. The Entertainer

A neck snapping good time.

I am planning a little music fest for my Stroke Group in a couple of weeks. I have been setting aside time every day to practice all kinds of piano music ((except jazz)) and put it into an arangement something like a "medley of music". This sounds all well and dandy... especially if I can pull it off, and ever more importantly, if my neck doesn't snap in half by sitting on a piano bench for many hours at a time. This could be a dangerous endeavor... I better find some music that has some intrigue when the time comes for the neck snapping good time...

What time is it?

I was awake this morning at a most reasonable time. I got out of bed at 5:47, and went to the den to watch the news. I brought my knitting, "the fun fur scarf project" with me. What else do you do on the second day of spring, but knit a scarf. The trouble is now... it's 7:50, and the only person awake is me. The only thing accomplished so far: a billion rows of knitting. The things I need to accomplish: drag children from their beds, make them dress, eat, brush, and be merry all before 08:50. I hate getting up early.

Onto bigger and better

The kitchen renovation is going along quite nicely. It's a very exciting process and has not impacted our lives to too much. Here's an update of the progress so far:

The husbandman has now moved a large number of items out to the shed. I believe there was comment somewhere that he needs a shed for his newly built, not even a year old shed. He also has moved all of his pieces of plywood to the other side of the garage. Then he swept all of the garage. Yes, the kitchen is taking shape quite nicely.

I am currently on the hunt for his sledgehammer, firecrackers and some dynamite. If I could have my trusty whip handy, I would be satisfied with that. But the edges are dull, and kind of thud when you crack it. I have offered my ((almost useless)) whip to my friend who is now getting a new shed, like I (we) did last year. Hopefully she will put it to good use. In the meantime, I will somehow continue to look after the yucky-yuck ancient kitchen, while the husbandman continues to clean and organize the garage.

I'll go back a day please.

The sun is gone, my smile has faded
My spring spirit has definitely been deflated.
From across the horizon I see masses of grey,
Which will certainly bring with them, rain for the rest of the day.

AAAAHHH, the first day of spring.

It's sunny outside.

Yae oh yae.

I have a smile this ________________________________wide.

And it will stay there all day.



((OK, I wont include the fact that the chicklets are back to school.. I don't think that has anything to do with it......))

Lucky me!

Now that spring is fast approaching in these parts, I have finally found my knitting needles and pink coloured fun fur to make the girl a scarf... no time like the present... that being said.... this was to be a present for her at christmas time... except that I was a bit over zealous in the hiding of the needles and fun fur department. But now that I have found them... I must click along quickly.

In other things that need to be quick:

I came home earlier, while the husbandman was busily removing items and articles from the soon to be new room but still garage at the moment. The old and still unrenovated kitchen was nicely tidy and organized.... UNTIL I managed to make some dinner for the people that reside here. Of course I made things look a lot worse than they needed to, just to get Mr. Cleanandtidy all wild and crazy like... I succeeded quite nicely.

Talk talk bonus

I love the talk talk bonus... it is very special to me... I believe I am addicted. It's a game at the CASINO, that I absolutely love.... when I do play. I am mostly a spectator sport kind of person at the CASINO. My stalker sister keeps asking me why I call it the talk talk bonus... because there is no reason to call it such a thing... I think the real name is the tail bonus, but the talk talk bonus works for me. For the longest time she considered I was nuts for loving this game, but now she is addicted to it. She is nuts too, and a stalker... so I am still one up on her.

Two titles read for the week.

zi zick

That is the sound that my monitor started to make the other day. Just before it quit. I am a monitorless mother.

zi zick, zi zick, zi zick.....zook. And that was the end of my monitor

I did talk to Antion from North Carolina about the zi zickness of the monitor. Then as any good monitorless mother should do, I walked my zi zicked monitor through the London Drugs parking lot.... and took the now zi zicked monitor back to the mother ship for an overhaul. All going well, it will be put to rest, and then I can adopt the new sister slim line, and get rid of the zi zickless FAT monitor....

The Queen of the Kitchen...

Strikes again!!

I was grocery shopping a couple of weeks back... and found some interesting items in the freezer section. I have decided that I really like the freezer section. I didn't realize how important of a section the freezer section can be to a person that has come to terms that her and her kitchen are not as best of friends than they should be. I can not believe that I have been bypassing the freezer section for as long I have been. I am ashamed of myself. Tut tut to me.

Anyways... as I was nattering... the freezer section called to me a couple of weeks back. I was at my Airmile grocery store, with my big coupon in hand, so I was feeling kind of desperate to cash in on the airmiles. I happened to spot these dinners, already made up... all you needed was a skillet and some heat. WOW! I couldn't believe my luck... now this is cooking at it's finest. Tonight I tried my hand at these super speedy fast skillet all in one dinners... as soon as the husbandman walked through the doors I was already hissing and sneering at him to "keep it down... I almost have your dinner ready... I have been chopping and seasoning for hours...."

I am once again the Queen of the Kitchen... and he doesn't even know about the freezer section dinner that he dined on tonight... now I just hope he didn't notice the wrapping that it came in. I am sure that my diamond ring is coming very soon.... VERY SOON... with my fabulous cooking abilities.

Things that break.

There was a lovely break in the weather over the weekend. Which really means that it didn't snow, hail or rain... at all. In fact, the sky was blue and the great outdoors had a welcome mat attached to it. (The lovely hamsterson missed his step and stumbled across the welcome mat... he still needs reassurance that the great outdoors welcomes him too....)

Now that the weekend BREAK is over... and it is officially SPRING BREAK around these parts, it appears that the weather is on the verge of giving itself a BREAK, and will certainly BREAK every single parent this next week. I watched the weather forecast for this week. I am going to slice now. It calls for rain, rain and more rain. Give me a freaking BREAK! Of course it isn't raining now... that's because I have to be at work in a little while....

I wish the word SPRING BREAK could be termed as BREAKFAST. We fast, then we break the fast... the same as we should BREAK for spring. Which means that there should be white lovely popcorn clouds floating about a wonderful backdrop of blue sky..... for the whole week.

The only thing that will be breaking at the end of this week will be me, if I have to live with APELETS ((a.k.a. chicklets)) that are locked in the great indoors.. because of the rain.

I think I will let them go swimming!

The Checklist

My fairly aged 11 year old boy spouted out a list of questions yesterday as to the proceedings of the day. I felt like I was in Sunday Night Theatre, where the people crowd around the radio, and listen to the stories, where the actors talked so fast you barely had a moment to process the words.

Hamsterson, please get ready to go......

These are only some of the questions/comments that he spouted out in less than 20 seconds... I think I might have missed some....

1. Where are we going?
2. Do I have to go?
3. Is the sister coming?
4. I am busy.
5. When are you returning?
6. Am I still expected to go?
7. I don't think I have a jacket to wear.
8. Go with out me.
9. Do we have any food in this house?
10. Please tell me we have food.
11. Are we going someplace that we have to buy food.
12. I'm not coming then.
13. How long will it take to get there?
14. Will I be home early?
15. Does this have to take all day?
16. Can I rent a video game afterwards?
17. I need to be home by five.
18. I should probably just stay home now, you are always late.
19. Will you buy me some food?
20. Are you bringing money with you?

If you see a girl laughing....

Just ignore her. Leave her alone. Trust in the fact that she's happy in her own world. Even if she looks insane, as she giggles and snickers to herself.

I would like to say that my friend and I had a conversation on the phone yesterday, but I believe it was more me just spurting out useless details to life, and her umhumming in agreement. Anyways, our conversation continued along about the non-tree hugging religion of the Jehovah Witnesses. I told her that it drives me nuts to always be finding their magazines littered all over my tables of "precious info pamphlets" that I am obsessed by tidying and setting out for the patients to read and LEARN from. So I spout all about the amount of paper that gets used from the JW's love of logging practices.... and then I come along and dump it all in the recycling container. (So sorry).... I then carry on about how we don't see other religions handing out or leaving behind information, or like, for want of a better example: Sikh's handing out knives on streetcorners. I then spoke in a hushed tone into the phone... "Sppp, you... you wanna knife, I have a knife, come here and get one...." Enough said, we hang up the phone, and carry on doing our daily life like things. Or so I thought. I mean I was alright.... but my friend on the other end of the phone was clearly touched by my odd antics.

She needed to go grocery shopping... and who did she spy, but a Sikh, carrying a knife....Now, on any given day Sikh's with knives aren't funny, at all. But what does this poor soul of a girl start to do... but laugh. A lot. While walking by herself. In the grocery store. And who does she keep bumping into as she cruises the grocery aisles.. but the Sikh with the knife.

Hey.. pppppsssssttttt.... you wanna knife, I have a knife.......here let me roll it in some paper I found in the recylcing container.....

Sun Seekers Two.

I told the Pip that her and that pink bunny on her back might find a pot of gold if she followed the rounding branch of walls.
A young man enters the wilderness catwalk to fame.

 

Sun seekers.

Dancing with themselves

Ah finally... a no brainer

A fun lighthearted story, I think my heavy drama book filled days are over. I can't seem to find time for them, and yet, this little number kept me reading all night. Although I don't think I could keep reading these stories over and over.. I think eventually I would need new drama... or something!

Check Engine

My 16 year old SUV's engine may be ready to blow up at any second. I have been driving around for two weeks with an annoying bright orange light indicator on my dashboard staring at me in the face. I have talked kindly to it, as I do to all inanimate objects, (which does not include computerized cellphone people), and have asked it to go away, the engine is just fine, thank you.

Yesterday with the lovely and short lived huge snowfall (was it even two inches!) that we had, I was able to put the 16 year old SUV into four wheel drive. This is not something that the nicely aging vehicle gets to do very often (much to the husbandmans dismay). I noticed that once I had put the rusting but still worthy vehicle into four wheel drive, the check engine light disappeared as quick as I was able to shift it's gears.

I believe this is a miracle people, a no cost miracle too boot. I will watch and wait cautiously now, waiting for something to twang and then watch as the engine burns itself into it's final resting place.

Thursday Snowstorm

 

I had a fight with Melanie TODAY

Conversations with Melanie are very one sided. I always have to call her, and she never calls me. NEVER. EVER. Although we have a simple telephone relationship, it's all questions and answers most days, and that's that. She really only cares about what she can get from you, and the second you ask her for advice she passes you on to someone else. Although Melanie can be at times helpful, she can also be annoying, very annoying. Sometimes you have to listen to Melanie repeat herself over and over again. I have on occasion hung up on Melanie as I am very impatient with her idiocy at times. Like today, when I was talking with her, I could just tell Melanie was in a mood. All she kept saying was: "I'm sorry, I didn't get that".... and you can't tell Melanie to shut up and listen, because that only frustrates her simpleton self, and then she shuts down. She asked me a question today, and I gave her the straight answer of CREDIT CARD. She asks me to repeat myself, and I do, but louder. The third time she asked me to repeat myself I almost rammed the credit card itself through the phone lines, but instead I screached CREDIT CARD into the receiver. I believe I saw stars after that. Before I knew it, Melanie was gone. Thank god.

Like magic, I was suddenly talking to another voice, a voice that told me that sometimes Melanie is moody. You can't get through to her and it doesn't matter how hard you try, Melanie wont listen. The voice apologized for Melanie's behaviour, although it was not required. I had no reason to complain, or apologize myself to Melanie... as she is an automated cell phone operator.

Undercover Issues

The Pipsters class went on a field trip today. I offered to be one of the driving people, since I didn't mind where we were going, and it wasn't challenging to get to. I have had instances in the past where I didn't have a clue where we were going, and the other parent friend and myself ended up viewing some falls off the highway. We were apparently on our own field trip that day, except for the rest of the class was busily learning about apples, about 30 exits prior. You win some and lose some.

Anyways... back to the control freak of a teacher. We arrive at our destination, and I have my umbrella closely attached to my side. She spots the offending item and marches up to me... "You might want to leave that someplace" she says. I immediately hissed back at her "what's the deal with umbrellas, I'm planning on using it", and I give her the evil eyebrow glare. "Well, you will have to stand at the back because you might bump people with it, if you insist on bringing it", she googlyeye looks at me. "I think I can manage", I try and say nicely to her. (That scale of nicety was about a 6 1/2). Holy freaking fridge magnets.... I am not certain what her issue is with umbrellas, but I am certainly glad that I didn't give into her useless wind... as it POURED AND POURED the whole while we were on our OUTSIDE field trip. The other more fearful parents caved under her control freakish issues. They ended up wet and cold. I at least ended up just cold. I couldn't have done both.

Good Deeds

I took my not over due library books back to the library. I even let the library book "go" that I had requested to be brought in. (I had 7 days to collect it... which I didn't collect, because I either forgot, or have a stack of books calling to me with no deadlines and fees attached). I am free from the library burden. Althought I am not free from the huge amount of fines that I (being the cardholder that is) have amassed. ((There was the incident of the Hamsterson's 50 books that are COMICS, but are considered adult books that I believed to be due on the wrong date that hiked the fine,... which I am refusing to pay... they are COMIC BOOKS!!!!!)).

In other good deeds..... oh, which there are none at the moment I can think of.... !

The Law of Averages.

I wheeled into the driveway with our now 16 year old SUV. I parked in a spot a tad bit further down the driveway than I normally do. I opened the door, stepped onto the driveway and flipped the door shut. The very second the door shut, I heard a splat! I looked to the ground and spied bird splat, I looked up, and perched right above my point of exit from the vehicle sat a bird on a wire.

This whole splat is a highly odd event. The splat came from a crow. Crows never sit on the wire that connects our house to some pole at the street. I never park in that exact location of the driveway. This had to have been a crowsplat ambush. I am sure of it.

Sunday sunday

It's 8:48 and not really that late
But I find it hard to rhyme, when it's so close to nine.
I still need to worry about getting the kids to bed on time.

It's not that worlds will collide, or buildings will tumble,
the problem is finding the girl's bed, in her messy jungle.

The boy on the otherhand is organized, and tidy.
Althought that doesn't make him all sweet and smiley.
He is continuing to brew bugs from there to here,
I think the latest one has settled inside of his ear.

I can not be for certain that this is just so.
Although it appears to be very red, and seems to glow.

Time is ticking, as the husbandman paces,
in time to attend to the chicklet bed races.

Time is ticking it's 8:58
Bed time is something where I shouldn't be late.

Things I have accomplished today:

The biggest and most important deed of the day was bidding the chicklets a fond farewell at their lovely and little school. I left them with the kind motherly thoughts of have a nice day, school ends at three oclock and:

"don't call me I'll call you".

The Hamsterson has spent a week at home, and the girl was getting quite pissed at this whole ordeal so she decided that she needed to stay home as well. I let her stay home yesterday, she may be a little under the weather as well, so perhaps a day of rest wouldn't have hurt her either. Anyways, I have put the tough love mother approach today... and everyone went back. Now I am terrified to answer the phone... it might be them....

Well, that just about sums it up for accomplishments for the day...I'm done, and it's not even 10:00!

Although I have a head of very badly coloured hair that requires some major attention. Oh yuck, I hate it when my memory kicks into high gear... and reminds me of these sorts of things.

Queen of the Kitchen

My number ten title from earlier needs some clarification. I could win mother of the year award with this, or maybe not.

I was busily cooking a fairly bad dinner for Sunday night, since it seemed that the girl was grouchy, and the husband was silent, and the boy was still sick, so it seemed fitting to have a clearly bad dinner to end the night on a sour note. Afterall, I had worked all day, then stopped and picked up a couple of odds and ends from the grocery store, and then had to stop and pick up the left over stuff at the sisters house (where the children had visited since Friday night), so why wouldn't I at this point carry on to make a completely bad dinner.

It was basic, and fast, and easy and boring. An absolute no thinking sort of process. Ah, but I ponder on that last thought... the carrots and potatoes were no brainers. It was the un-opened vacuumed sealed ham steaks dated February 18th that had me guessing. I shrugged my shoulders and then popped the newly opened fresh smelling but perhaps out of date hamsteaks in our non-stick frying pan to warm them up as well.

Ah... Dinner is served! to the Motley Crew..... the sick boy was too hot to eat, so he drank juice, the girl was happy to see meat on her plate and steaming carrots so she cheered up.. and then the husbandman happily spooned potatoes and carrots onto his plate, and politely took a little half slice of ham. Me, being the Queen of the Kitchen found delight in the potatoes and carrots and a piece of left over chicken. The now cooked maybe outdated ham sat in the non stick frying pan....untouched. I had to think the whole time... if I had just set the little grouchy family into a big pit of food poisioning, I better not eat the ham as the boy was already sick, and the rest could develop some form of something.. so I thought it was better to save myself for clean up duty.

It is now Tuesday night.....people continue to be happy, and the boy continues to be sick, and there is a piece of left over ham in the fridge. How odd.

A weeks worth:

I want to know how it is that I have this device at my fingertips at every waking hour, and oddly enough, I haven't made it to this very place where the fingertips run wild with many odd words strung together to create sentences. But I am back. I will have to go with a great theory for this week. A weeks worth of stories that I am sure would have been good, had a actually wrote more than just the titles down. So, since I am lacking on content, my made up titles for my made stories will have to do.

1. "Unstoppable Scrapper". ( I am sure I could have made some humour out of this)
2. "The finger printer" (I don't even know what this was going to be about, perhaps this one will be the mystery, since it is already starting out that way).
3. "Lost in Pips Place" (This one is based on facts about survival techniques in the jungle, except that it takes place in an 8 year old girls bedroom).
4. "Sick Boy" (Self explanatory title, I am sure there would have been some added twists, as the boy himself is slightly twisted).
5. "Winner, winner, winner" (This one definitely has to do with 3 winnings... that will have to remain a mystery!).
6. "Handidart" (This one was a horror story about very simply booking a bus for people to ride on, and NOBODY could get the booking right).
7. "Sardine Supper" (This was about the adventures in dinner parties where way way way too many tickets get sold, and people have to share chairs to find a place to sit).
8. "Silence Uninterrupted" (The chilling thriller of not having children for TWO whole days... I am still reeling from that event).
9. "It's all about Silly" (Stories of dog devotion)
10. and finally.... "Here, let me make you some dinner".......(I think this one could have been a thriller, it had the potential for gore, but fortunately, it turned out to be nothing more than a dinner).

Now.. this is reading!

As I found my place beneath the lamp, and my favourite reading spot on the couch, I just couldn't face the non-page turning book I once again set out to read, and instead opend up this fascinating little number, and absolutely loved it.

The stack is stacking.

I have stopped going to the library now. It only causes me trouble and grief. I have a stack of books that is growing, kind of the same as when did this house become messy.. it was clean five minutes ago sort of thing. I have to finish my book tonight.. I have too, although I really don't care for it, I am certain that it is going to be a real page turner, with the turn of each page. I have already invested a great amount of time reading and rereading the same pages over and over again, surely I shouldn't give up now. Must go and fill my eye sight with lines of words that I will never remember in the end anyways.. but it is fun to try.

In other things that are stacking: I have a pile of pictures that I took the other day from the Pro-D day adventures... that stack needs to be scrapped... and quick like into albums. I hope the Debbie's are reading this VERY LARGE HINT.

Pro-D Day

 

My boy, my boy, my boy

I find it interesting how he sits in the dark and practices his piano. I have tried turning the lights on in the livingroom, but he only turns them off again. At other times when it is daylight outside, he plays with his eyes closed. This is a stark contrast to myself that requires every bit of eyeball energy to transform the black dots on paper to music, while he just motors along. Lucky him.

In other things from the boys life... he prepared his speech the other night. Which really meant that he sat, and thought, and wrote. It all fell out onto the paper, where he then refused to read any part of it, for days. Finally he agreed to deliver his world of words in his own fashion. Now this is where the story turns. I have a friend, a very old friend, a wise old friend in fact.... who once upon a time told me that I had a Jim Carry Junior on my hands. I did think that my boy was a bit of a wise cracker, as all good and loving parents do...but this boy of mine is a smudge above some with the humour factor. So, in speaking of speeches, I sat back last night to listen to the delivery of his speech " The Evolution of Video Games"... which on any given day sounds like "oh brother, not another one...", but what fell out of his mouth was nothing short of a very well rehearsed stage show. As I sat and watched him perform, I decided that this was an act, with words attached to make it a speech. It left me howling in laughter, and speechless.

Rock a bye stalker...

This very morning, I stood in the parking lot at our cranky little school, and waited for my sister in law. She didn't recognize me... I was the woman WITHOUT a bag on my head. She was busily looking for a person with a big over her head, which is what I told her I would be wearing ... after I had talked to the prinicpal about my Hamsterson's great adventures about being "excused from classes for no reason other than being highly annoying by not understanding what was actually expected of him", which then lead Hamsterson a visit with the principal for the rest of the afternoon, which then lead to an explosion of details that Hamsterson vomited out of his mouth, which then lead to Hamsteron seeing the school counsellour, rather immediately. Now, me, being the patient only sometimes mother, waited to hear if the school was going to contact me, for any of the above listed reasons. This did not happen, which I found highly odd, and at the same time highly interesting, which was why the statement to the sister in law about the bag over the head... I just didn't want anyone noticing me after I had to go in and find out for myself what the heck Hamsterson was busying himself with at school. So the sister in law and myself headed off for a quick coffee. This whole time... I thought I was safe from the sister stalker.

As usual, stupid me. I am never safe from the sister stalker... she is always around, somewhere.. somehow. I even mentioned this fact to the sister in law, that the sister stalker would not be calling me.. as she was safely tucked up in her bed.. sleeping after her nightshift. OR SO I THOUGHT. I make it back into my vehicle, and my cell phone is beeping and vibrating and smoking through it's microphone...... aaawwwweeee. I see.. it's the sister stalker looking for me. I carefully hit the CALL button, and the conversation starts....

"Don't tell me you have real things to do today".. the sister stalker says.
"Yes, I do" I cringe through the phone.
"Tell me what they are" she inquires.
I list off a number of my jobs to do, and she cuts me off.
"Boring, boring boring and boring, I need some entertainment, I need some excitement, we can't do this, you have to come up with something better" she bellows into my eardrum.
"OK, OK," I say to her, "Just stay calm, I have some things to do at home, and then I will come up and get you... I promise.. things will be fun".....and I hang up the phone. My heart is beating about 31/2 beats a minute by this point (she doesn't really scare me)....and I say to myself ... "Jesus, she's a testy little wide awake stalker when she's only had one hours sleep...." as I drive home to do a couple of errands before the real tour of duty started.

OK, now the fateful mistake... I wanted her to read my LONGEST PARAGRAPH EVER, and now she has this blog listed on her favourites... and this was the one place that she has never been able to find me. I am doomed! If only the stalker sister would go to sleep....

What is it doing outside?

 

I need to rethink this invitation thing

I had my lovely dustless friend come over today. "What was I thinking?" I ask to myself... (at the time & many hours later). I have decided that you can not be obsessive compulsive, and have people over, it just doesn't work. Here are the reasons why:

It all started with the fact that it is Tuesday, and I do not wash my hair on Tuesdays. I can not figure out for the life of me why I do not wash my hair on Tuesdays... but a fact is a fact. It just doesn't happen. Tuesday is just not the day to wash my hair. And that's it. So that's one issue. Then with my not washed hair, I was about to set off with the chicklets to walk them to school.. which I had been telling them, and telling them that we would be doing... because it was beautiful and sunny out... When we step outside to begin our RUN to school, our neighbour pulls in, and I continue nattering that 'WE ARE WALKING' ... the chicklets just look at me, smile, and get inside the neighbours car, off they go, and I am left standing in my driveway with unknowingly dirty hair, and an extra half an hour on my hands. This will not be good... I think to myself. See, it's the Tuesday morning issue, and I always find that I need to do other things than what I should be doing on Tuesday mornings. (These details just keep getting more bizarre, but do not fear, it gets worse). This morning would have been a good time to start CLEANING the dusty home, for my wonderful and dustless friend. But no, instead I retreat to the piano bench where I find it totally justifiable to start digging through the piano music that I have not eyed in many months, and couldn't play that many months ago, and certainly could not play this morning. Although I had great fun tinkering with the many sounds on my digital piano, once again, with the lovely guest arriving on the doorstep in a short period of time, one would think that I could be doing something to dust the place up. The problem with my dusty home is that it faces south east.... which means that the sun finds it's way through the windows, and all the shiny surfaces that the sun hits, just don't seem so shiney, because all I can see is dust. Of course this only happens when you take the time to look at the shiney surfaces, unlike myself, where I was sat facing the wall, playing the piano mindlessly. Eventually I had heard enough of myself playing the piano, and then turned on the stereo to listen to real music. It was at this time that I noticed my life in real time, and hissed a OH CHRIST... it's 10:30... my lovely dustless friend will be here in an hour, and I am still swamped with dust, rolling dog hair balls, laundry, dishes, finger printed french doors and messy bathrooms. I was set to frenzy mode... everything had to be done all at once, and in a dust sucking fashion. I then set to making our bed, and cranking up our 20 year old air ecologizer to HIGH in our bedroom. Yes, this will definitely impact the lovely dustless guest, a HIGHLY air ecologized and tidy room that she will never see. A remarkable use of precious minutes, I impress myself greatly sometimes. But as I speedily worked away I was most thrilled with my stat-like cleaning abilities. I did manage to clean the things that needed to be cleaned, which also included two loads of laundry, some walls and shelves washed, and a couple rounds of watering the plants. Life came to a crashing halt when it came to mind that I should put out something to eat. Afterall, I had been here all morning doing things, and accomplishing nothing... I was now definitely hungry. Even the store bought heart cookies couldn't cure my thoughts of being a nice dustless hostess. Of course, this is when horror struck. I immediately retraced my steps on thinking why it was that I thought I had food in this house... surely I should have something... I did manage to spend $300.00 last week at the big box store... but then I also realized that I had bought scrapbooking albums, and a carpet, and laundry soap... which is not something that I was interested in snacking on. DAMN! I had to think fast, well, at least I had cheese. I had lots of cheese... only because I bought cheese twice last week, not remembering that I had bought it the first time around. It's too bad that I didn't have much to go with that cheese. I went to the cupboard to pull out the fresh box of crackers that the husbandman had just bought the night before. I was horrified to notice that I was able to set out about 8 crackers, and the rest were broken. OK not good. This is OK, I thought.... so we will have a big plate of cheese... surely my lovely dustless friend will be too polite to say anything. I moved onto making the coffee next, because after all, this is the only reason she was coming over for. I was frightened by what I saw, or more like, what I didn't see. I had just bought coffee last week, or maybe it was the week before last...anyways.. I just thought I had coffee, which I kind of did, in a HALF CUP FULL sort of way. Except that the vacuum sealed package had been opened. SHREAK! SHREAK! SHREAK! I had to come up with coffee.... NOW. I looked beyond the vile opened package and saw a lonely well loved bag of columbian. It smelled lovely. I had to think quickly, at this point, no move was a right move.. I closed my eyes and quickly added two packages of coffee together (there nothing happened!).... which gave me a full pot. Lucky me, I was back on track. Then I reached into the fridge to pull out the cream. HOLY SHIT NO! I looked at the date on the cream. It expired on February 11. I couldn't believe this. So, me being the warm and inviting now dustless hostess taped a note to my front door. "L., B rite back D"... and then added 1130 on the note, just so she knew that I decided not to up and leave, when she was more or less set to arrive. Lucky for me, she would never have known about the note..... had I not told her... I made it back before she did. OK, one thing going right. Then, I had a bit of a brainwave. I decided to make sandwhiches, but since I had already set out two tons of cheese on a plate.. I didn't quite know what to do next. I spied in my cupboard for something.. and found some salmon. Once again, luck was with me.. except it wasn't sockeye, it was a pink, and I don't really like pink salmon, it's mushy, and I was in a bit of a pickle.... but you don't really notice when you add some hot dog relish to it. OK, I know, I know.. hot dog relish sounds bad, when you are adding it to salmon... but really, it is very good. You just have to trust me on this one. I eventually heard a little knock on my front door where I yelled 'come in', but my lovely dustless friend (and her sweetpea daughter) couldn't hear me because the music was cranked. Well, actually I had just turned it down, but generally I keep it up, to keep the jehovahs away. I kid you not. AND.. in more unbelievable things.. I have a number of friends who are jehovahs just in case the inquiring minds need to know.... including one that comes to see me regularly at my front door, where I stand and keep her chatting for a huge amount of time, then instead of heading to the neighbours front door, jumps in her vehicle and speeds off down the street back to her real life. Anyways, the long and short of it... my lovely dustless friend, her sweetpea daughter and myself had a lovely visit. She even supplied the banana bread, which was quite quite tasty.. and I will not even begin to speak about my loaf I made once upon a time, the one and only time she ever came to visit. For some fairly odd and unexplainable reason my loaf failed, as in failed because it was still raw inside. Once again being the fairly strange hostess, I served the outer edges... because the cooked part of the loaf was really quite tasty. I could not have history repeat itself on that one. So when I started thinking that I was going to bake something before she showed up today... I forced myself into playing some bad music instead. So there you have it... an invitation into my dustfilled matchbox home.

In case there are added thoughts or comments... I just wanted to let the human public know that once upon a time I did plan, and organize a wedding reception for myself, and the husbandman for 170 people... and I find it highly odd that I can not orchestrate a simple coffee visit.

Get with the program!

Dinner done - leftovers, lucky me. check
Children happy & content - kind of, temporarily. check
Dog fed -- yes, but she doesn't believe that herself. check
Laundry done -- in the process of doing. check
Homework -- have to listen to speeches, eventually check
Husband home -- he doesn't talk to me anyways check
House organized for friend tomorrow --
there's always the morning check
School obligations -- not for tomorrow check
Any reasons to harp, nag or query: none at the moment check

Time to read my book FINALLY.

Oh yes, the lovely day.

I think we should really rethink valentines day. I think I would like to have it renamed as international cookie day. On this day we can hand out cookies to people that we just plain and simply like, and this is a mixed gender thing as well. Kind of like a halloween of sorts, except we don't have the little beggers coming to our doors, it's actually us doing the stepping out, handing out cookies. The nice part about international cookie day is the fact that no love has to be involved. You just have to have enough cookies to give out, that's it. It's very simple. Say good bye to all of the cash grabs that go along with this day of festivity and pretend love and go-go-ness. It is all rather revolting.

Here here to International Cookie Day!

What's my line?

While at work today, I was happily hidden while one of my friends posed a question to a visiting family member.

"Where is Mr So & So?" asks the visitor.

"Oh, he's in room 209, you must be his brother, you look just like him", says my friend the nurse.

"Uhm... I'm his son" says the visitor. ~~~~~~


My friends face turned as red as a tomato ready to bust it's juices with the offending question just floating in mid air. It didn't help when her very nice coworker (me) scolds her on the relation comparison factor... "listen missy, you are not to concern yourself with the dynamics of who's who in the zoo, what you want to establish is the fact that they might be related, because they do have a similarity in features...."

I further aided my friend with a quick step by step technique as to how to go about finding out relationship factors with the unknowing visitors that stop by. This example was followed by notes, and a quiz at the end of the inservice. It goes as follows:

OH (raise eyebrows)......

(direct gaze to visitor) are you related?

(pause, wait for answer).

I told her that this method is a sure fire way of keeping her feet on the floor at all times, and not unknowingly stuffed in her mouth.

We did have a really good laugh... considering that she had just compared an 81 year old guy to a 35ish old looking fellow. Oh well, she's blond, she has an excuse.

circling and circling....

Alright,... just between you and me, and you and me only.

I HATE SCHOOL.

Yes, and I don't even go to school, well, except to drop off and pick up children. It's the crap the happens between those two times, that is the stuff I hate the most. Not that I am picky about things or anything...I think come Monday I am going to ask that the two of them become wall flowers, and "yesmen" all at the same time, while being in the classroom. I have had enough of them sticking out like little green men from way "out there".

In the meantime.. I am on damage control duty.. and I am not sure of the reason why.

It's sunny out

All is good when the sun shines. All is good when the sun shines. All is good when the sun shines. All if good when the sun shines. All is good when the sun shines. All is good when the sun shines.

If I keep typing that I will be able to believe it... eventually.

The growler son has temporarily quit growling, but he might only be taking a break. Oh lucky me.

The little scaredy catdog Ellpee has quit limping, for the time being, until she might do something else to herself.

The Pipster now has a completely typed speech with a big thick staple in the corner of her pages, and she almost has half her speech memorized. Her psycho teacher is done for the week, and will be returning on Monday.

The husbandman has fixed my back window that had the broken key stuck in the lock. The world should fall apart in the 1365 square foot rancher more often, that way he can go and hide out in the driveway/outdoors/out in the shed/ and do other great useless tasks, because that was quite the accomplishment!

I just got back from buying a great many things at the big box store,... and the one thing I went for, I have forgotten.

But it's OK, because:
All is good when the sun shines. All is good when the sun shines. All is good when the sun shines. All is good when the sun shines. All is good when the sun shines. All is good when the sun shines.

It's not the Vampire Life for me.

Oh, I don't think so. I am too much in love with the light. I have come to the realization that at this time of year, I start counting the hours of light that we get. In the evening I watch to see that it will stay light out until six oclock. In the morning I like to note the times when the sky begins to turn it's closet black into the ever lightening shades of grey, and then begin to burst with the colours of the day. I look forward to the colours of a pink grapefruit that throw themselves over the mountain tops, and fill the sky. OK, and the best part... the chicklets rise in the morning earlier when the light hits their bedrooms...

On thinking about the light, I am not so much in love with it that I need to move to Alaska or the North West Territories, now that is light gone crazy. I couldn't do light 24 hours a day... for a couple of months at a time. I do require a certain amount of darkness, so I guess there's a little vampire in me somewhere.

Yes, it's Monday

I can tell that by all the things that have happened so far. It's Monday, I need to remember that.

The boy is unusually grumpy, very grumpy. He isn't normally at all like this, he slugged his way to grade 5 school today, in a resistant growling sort of sluggish form. It was all very wierd, including the fact that we walked to school today, and we never walk on Mondays.

My Stroke Group was exceptional today. So I was told. That comment I didn't make up. People were leaving quite happy today, and yet, they leave quite happy every Monday... so I really want to know how bad I am screwing up on other days, if today was exceptional? Perhaps the comparison factor is off... in comparison to yesterday, when there wasn't a stroke group... you know, that sort of thing.

The lovely and overbearing teacher has totally scared the dark hairs out the miss blondy lady Pipster. I have heard this woman natter, natter and natter about the SPEECH, SPEECH, SPEECH, for weeks now... and now I have been hiding from this woman for days. She even called the house today, and was pretty much psycho about the non-speech work that the PIP didn't do this weekend. My phone vibrated into my ear as I heard the grade three teacher yell...."she is very, very far behind".... it was too bad that I had to wait through the whole freaking message so I could delete it... otherwise I would have to hear it again, and again, and again, and hearing it once, was bad enough. Good lord. I can only imagine how much squawking this grade three teacher did at the PIP, because the PIP burst into tears at the end of the day, and couldn't even fathom the word speech by 3:30 PM. I decided at this point to let the girl have some quiet time. I believe it was a good thing that I did not head down the street for the boys piano, it would have put the PIP over the absolute top had she had to go to piano.

In the meantime, the growling scowling grade 5 boy came out of the school in a happy mood this afternoon. It's too bad that I cancelled his piano lesson for today, as he hasn't picked up his books all week, and now that he had his smile back, he probably would be able to play magical music... ok maybe he could. Well, I mistakenly thought I had my boy back. He was pleasant for a number of hours, and he even played with the evil little sister on the trampoline for a great number of minutes, including cleaning up a ton of her stuffed toys they managed to amass outside in a very short period of time. But soon enough the growler came back to haunt the 1365 square foot abode... and since I didn't have the patience to even start to delve into his warped sense of right and wrong, I decided it was his bedtime. HA! ... at 8:30 PM, I even left the husbandman standing in the growlers bedroom in the dark, next to the growling boys desk... as the two of them had been doing his homework. There was no breaking through with the boy... the growler had to go.

Since the boys life had suddenly taken a spiral nose dive into hell, the girls life perked up. Little Miss Pip happily sat next to myself, and the computer, and narrated her "somewhat" acceptable speech, all about the desert. In this very amazing feat, it also included a huge amount of cooperation, and a pleasant attitude, plus, all free today, one free reading of the six paged beauty. The little lady PIP even managed to score up a couple of jokes and humour into this very dry subject. After I had witnessed the amazing presentation, we moved into her big pink book that she is trying to read aloud to me. Once again, this involved cooperation at it's finest. I can't believe that I have eyeballs left... the PIP usually tries to take out an eye or two, when we have to do such SMALL projects together. I am blessed!

Then... around the dinner time hour the husbandman called and wished for me to make him dinner(these demands just frighten me), instead, I decided to go out and try and put the window up in the 16 year old SUV. Upon re-entering the home I noticed that the little dog, L.P. was limping around the livingroom in a great way. I absolutely know she wasn't like this only 2 minutes before. She had no comment when I asked her what it was that she did to herself. As of this evening, she still seems tight lipped over the whole ordeal, and continues to limp.

And now... it is late. I have just watched my most favourite Monday night show "Dead Like Me", where no book too good can infiltrate my viewing pleasure...and then, the finest of creams to sit upon my cake.... I realized that is filmed in Vancouver. Hm. I like that.. and even better than that... I love the show.

I think there are two full moons sitting out there somewhere....

Happy Holidays!!

In a casual conversation with the 15 year old "Teen Tina" childcare girl yesterday:

"Well, I like your kids, and thanks for writing me the letter to my new manager that gives me the extra hours that I need to make more than minimum wage, but A & W pays more".

I have officially been discharged as her once monthly employer. At least I think I have.

Now all my vacation days will consist of not working when the husbandman is doing is Saturday working... and on second thought... what a nice thought.

Finally

Undead and Unappreciated.

A quick fun easy read... This book is best read underneath the lamplight shining through the sunroof of the 16 year old SUV, outside of the pretend TKD. Now back to the painful book...

Real sun, handing out real colour.

Life is messy.

I want to know how a 1365 square foot rancher finds itself in such a state. There's bits and pieces floating over here, and other things floating over there. I want it all gone... SNAP.


AND SO IT WAS DONE.

OK, moving on to more boring things of the day.

The stalker sister has not bothered to come and find me this morning. I figured she would hunt me down... and demand that I do things with her... like go for SUSHI. This is her very new, and very favourite thing to do. ALL THE TIME. Which is funny, because she quite hated sushi for the longest of times, and couldn't even speak of it. Which was quite sad for me, because that was all I ever thought of... all the time.


PAUSE.............PAUSE.........................PAUSE.................. .............NEWSFLASH~~~NEWSFLASH~~~

The sun has come out here on the Canadian portion of the West Coast. Exit your homes and vehicles slowly.... we don't want to scare it away.....AND don't look at it through your windows... as it will only depress you to see the amount of dust and film that has gathered on the windows and furniture during this time of continuous rain and cloud.....NOW GET OUT THERE AND ENJOY THE SUN.... WHILE YOU CAN...................

now....back to the regular sushi story

Now that she loves sushi so much all the time... there isn't a question as to where we will go for lunch, when the stalker stalks by.... like yesterday, ( I was just leaving the home on an orthodontic emergency with the superson.. somehow a wire had fallen out and into his cheek, which then left him bleeding, and MIRACULOUSLY silent,.... as he was unable to talk with a wire in his cheek... ) when the sister stalker walked in my front door and decided that she needed to immediately escort myself and the broken brace faced superson to the orthodontist office, then back to school again... the whole while keeping me in the passenger seat... so she could eventually end up with a sushi partner at the favourite sushi eating place. That was OK for me... because as paypack for the escort/stalker sister... I made her do a popcan return run with me...

Well, I must leave now... I am not certain how long the sun will be out for, but it's worthy of my complete and full attention.