It's the least favourite thing to do!

Christmas Cards... I am so not good at them.... I write and write and write and write.. and then wonder... did this person move... do I even still talk to them....did they divorce and make it all ugly and stuff... and don't want to hear from this crazy little family... oh well, they receive Happy Holiday Greetings and Junk... from me anyways.
It's hard though.... what do you write about? I want to write exciting things like adventures and winfalls, and broken records and amazing stunt dog tricks, and new vehicles and kitchens, or prize investments that have shot through the roof, and owning three properties, and going back to school just for the fun of it, and volunteering to fill in the time. For a joke I should this crap... and I will see how soon I will be off other people's christmas card mailing lists:

Nothing here has changed, the kids are taller and now take up more space in our little home. They drain us of all our money, and still want more. We don't have a house keeper or a nanny. I want one. This will remain on the WISHLIST until the end of time. I didn't send pictures to you this year, you just don't qualify for the them. I never see any pictures of your kids falling out of my christmas cards... and yes, some people do keep track. MC and a HNY. HA!

Wouldn't that just be a prize addendum to a Christmas Card!!!..... As usual, I just write and write and write and write.. about what I don't know.. but I just fill the cards up with stuff that might interest people for a moment or two.

I haven't started the Family Letter yet.... now that is something special. Every year my Mom and Dad would receive an amazingly well written in perfect printing a letter from a friend from long past. Every year it would detail to the finest the most monumental about the most miniscule. GOD, it was horrible... we would kill ourselves laughing at the junk that was written about these people, and their three kids. When I figure out what my kids can achieve to the most mediocre.. I will let the world know.

And the last thing I can think about about these flipping Christmas Cards... is this: Merry XMas. What the hell is that??? Down the road a bit there is a fabulous display with lights that twinkle and blinkle and fru-fru's and Santa Claus fun. Beside it all.. there's a sign posted: XMas is Here. Where these people running short on lumber or paint? How about a brick short of load? I once upon heard the rational that the X stands for the Cross that Christ was on. That's all nice and all...but then what do we call Christians????? Xtians? That sounds like a bad trip from the Pharmacy Department. And worse... how am I able to swear instead of Christ !!!!!, I say "x". That doesn't cut it for me. I need to gnash my teeth together and hiss from the soles of my feet..... "CCCHHHrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssttttttttttt!!!!!!!, or: x
What about a Christening... will we call it an Xening? That would be a pleasant party invitation... please come to our sweet new cherished beautiful child's Xening. I wonder what kind of music they would play at such a gig?

I would just like to note, that it has been raining... no storming.... no monsooning here all day.. I believe I have gotten some water between my ears.. and am completely unbalanced. I will stop.