Someone's not understanding something

It all started out... I chased the kids to school today... it seemed to be that the boy was in a big hurry to get to school and ran the whole way... and the girl rode her scooter....they somehow don't understand about traffic lights and busy intersections with impatient motorists... but then they will never quite understand.... but it goes on....

I talked to a lady from the gas company..., apparantly I can't get a rebate on my brand new furnace because it is not a high efficiency furnace...yes but its not fourty years old anymore, and our 1300 square foot doesnt need to be able to heat the whole street, on both sides of it.... I just don't understand....

I talked to someone else today about someone coming to do an energy checky thingy on our house.... oh, yes, I have a newish furnace installed... but you don't...........

My mom and I whipped over to a fabric store to try and figure out what we wanted to do with a sheepskin wrap for my crazy dad... the lady started talking about clasps and tabs and buttons... but you don't unders..........

We also visited the big toy store in the area because I saw a forbidden PS2 game on sale, for the boy, that he just dreams about... as I was asking about the sale... I was cut off.... we don't have those on sale.. ever... the girl says... she doesn't understand.... ( I have found that flyer, they were on sale).... oh, then I asked about the television set that was busy playing some movie, at the loudest volume possible... apparantly the toy company doesn't understand that if they would like frenzied parents to come back to the "greatest toy store on earth" they better turn down the goddamn volume on their freaking television sets. Idiots. They really don't understand....

Oh, on the way home from our mini shopping adventure my mom wanted to stop into the casino... I have never been to this particular one... I spent the big five dollars I had... I don't understand how I didn't walk out of their with some big winnings.. I just don't understand that at all.... best that I dont.

Now, being the big Thursday night of television... the lousy television network has put on CSI as a repeat... I just watched it last week. They don't understand... I don't want to see repeats at the very beginning of CSI season...

Also, the maid didn't understand that she was to report to work today. I had to declutter the clutter filled kitchen... I did understand how to do that... all too well in fact.

Wednesday creeped up on me...

My attention was diverted this week.... it became a sudden priority to clean the house... because after all we live here, I don't actually clean here. But when people pop by for a visit it strikes me as important to get through the door without hitting your head on cobwebs....but that's not what this is about.

The Pip is getting better... at gymnastics. I saw her do a roll, in the right direction and without almost breaking her neck first. I am proud of the girl. This weeks useless attention to detail was magnified by the new matching lavender frue-fruish hair doiley that I can put around her gymnastic bun that she sports during the whole hour that she is their. The boy and I also witnessed her flying into a circular hole backwards.... she was supposed to land on her legs gracefully. Her feet remained in the air, while she found herself smack on the ground. Later, we watched the princess Pipster begin work on the balance beam. She looked quite graceful crawling along on all fours, especially her beautiful lavender hair doily. It sparkled, so did her concentration smile. As of today she is a adept at getting back up onto the beam...hopefully nextweek it will be the Pip's turn to do balance beam work on the balance beam, rather than on the padded floor. Her cartwheels are moving in the right direction... although I have never seen a cartwheel landed on your knees. She managed to kick up both legs at the same time, in the same direction, and a reasonable distance... a couple of inches off the ground. That seems to be her method as of this moment. The direction from the dark haired high pitched gymnastic leader seems thorough enough; I am confident that my girl will be doing real cartwheels in no time. Is there an age limit as to what age the perfect cartwheel can be learned and performed... because I am still waiting if there is.

At the end of this day... I decided it was time for some lounge lizard piano music. I love the little tune Smoke Get's in your Eyes..... it has a soothing effect somehow.. and works for those cool autumn evenings when the day is done, the kitchen is still a mess, and the girl is looking at my scrapbooking album that is certainly keen on quantity of pictures on a page, rather than quality. That kept her busy for a while, so did the lizard music... as I was trying to commit it to memory.
I'm drinking some Lime Perrier water.. I think I'll go put it in a brown lunch bag and drink out of it... that's what this music reminds me of....someone sitting daydreaming, drinking, contemplating, yearning, or simply wishing that it wasn't perrier water they were drinking. Not that that's what I was doing... that was just the movie playing out in my head.

Best go and sit by the front door hoping that the maid will show up.

Done in the knick of time...

What is the perception of drinking out of nice coffee cups, I am not sure if the coffee actually tastes better. I drink out of styrofoam on occasion... and coffee has tasted good out of them, I think. I managed to barely set out nice plates for the little "do" this afternoon.

I am no queen when it comes to party giving....I supply the accomodations, prepare morsels of edible products built from scratch in the kitchen, and provide liquid refreshments.... although I forgot to buy wine... good thing nobody asked for anything.

I was thinking though... I also had two very beautiful pregnant ladies attend the little "do" as well.... I should have built some italian food, and served something to do with red wine.... they would either have thanked me or cursed me... that didn't happen. Both of these little ladies are so ready, the first one is a first time mom... and is very prepared... so she just wants to get the show on the road. The other little lady just wishes it to be over.... in her words she said that she has stretch marks on her stretch marks. I was frightened by that.....

What I was able to do mind you was throw 3 variations of the same rolly-up sandwiches together... built some spinach pies, and some walnut kind of thing with phylo pastry... which actually were good... once I cut them up... I also loaded and unloaded the dishwasher, cleaned up the kitchen after I had let a bomb go off by throwing all that crap together, did three loads of laundry, cleaned the bathroom, and vacuumed the whole house, re-arranged a zillion dahlias around the little homestead so it didn't look like a funeral, but rather a baby shower... before 11:30. I didn't have time for decorations... I think decorations are overdone... it's a baby shower people.... give the woman her gifts, and everyone will be on their way.. no games, no frivolity, no fuss no muss, that's the type of showers/parties I show. .. (As I always say to my girl "Kindness Counts... once again it looks like I am taking the "hellivator, rather than the escalator" in my next life).

I dont think I do this much in a whole week, let alone done in one day before noon. I will stay up late just in case the people come to deliver my award.

Well, now my kitchen is in a state.... not a mess... but the clutter from stuff..... I am not a good clutter-cleaner......god... that could be the next best invention....some digital device that you point and shoot at the "stuff" in question, and it tells you where you should be putting that item....like: "you idiot, that goes in the garbage, don't even think that putting it in the fridge will make you eat it", or, "excuse me, but this wrapping paper has been used, it doesn't matter how much you try and unkrinkle it... you won't be able to use it again, so find a trash can and throw it in", even better, "don't offer this to guests to take as leftovers"... see the clutter-cleaner would be a rather helpful device. Too bad I didn't own one now.

Must go...

Where the hell is my housekeeper?

I certainly didn't give her the day off, or the week off, or even the month off. As always, luck would have it, the housekeeper hasn't shown up. I am hosting a little "do" at our house, but I would prefer it, being the house to be in a state of tidy, and mostly clean. The girls room will definitley be off limits to admiring eyes. Nobody will be allowed on the back lawn, especially in certain corners... because I cut the front and back lawn... and I have decided that both our dogs crap way too much. But I kept cutting the grass anyways.. that way it looks kinda like a golf course. Nice little rolling pathways that lead to the nowhere. Oh, then I shampooed the livingroom carpet. It really needed to be done, last year. I was lead to believe by a certain person that is quite neat and tidy, and a king around the home when it comes to installing, repairing, rebuilding, or contructing anything, that... I would have already had a new carpet installed. That too was earmarked for last year. I washed hallways, and doors, and tomorrow I will do the floors and the outside of the livingroom window. It's alright to have clean windows now, most of the birds have moved on to warmer climates. I am not certain as to why I needed to clean out the fridge which included the rotter, or some people prefer the word crisper. I went shopping at the non-scary grocery store, and the big box store with long line-ups to collect more items. Picked up kids from school, took one to a swimming lesson, went bear hunting, helped the boy practice his piano, loaded and unloaded washers and dryers and dishwashers, organized the dead summer pots to some assemblance of order and went over to the parents and collects about 12 dozen dahlias for the baby shower event. The housekeeper is still missing, and has not reported in at all. Now if only I could have a chef for a couple of hours then that would make the world right. My friend the -not-by-trade-cakebaker offered to bake a cake. Now she has called me and told me it looks bad... they are bad looking baby blocks.. I told her bring it on little lady... icing and cake can never be bad... just tell us what it was supposed to be when you get here. I have two fans blowing away in the living room, one for heat, and another fan that blows air I guess. Hopefully that will dry the carpet before tomorrow at 1130 when I told people to come for this little "do". I don't like "do's" at night because this house is a bit to teency-weency to fit people and shy husbands and nosy-chatty children all in one go. Well, must go build some rolly-up sandwhiches... I have decided the housekeeper is fired... because after running around here today... I think that she thinks that she has been fired all along...HA!

I love that sound

I never give much thought to how I sound.... I can't. I hear myself regularly...just like most everyone. I do however enjoy the sound of peoples voices. Except screaming, whining crying children noises... I don't love those sounds... so don't come near me with that.... I will deliver the ultimate in evil scowl.. but people's voices... now there's a fascination. How is it that people can sound pompous, intelligent, belligerant, exasperated, exhausted, energetic, angry, humorous, bored and idiotic? I look for that in people. I want to hear what they are feeling, not by telling me, but by talking. Once again, I will refer to my favourite green clock... we all tick the same, but there are many different ways in which we tick.

Life in the normal world

Husbandless and happy. Mr. Workaholicman went back to work today. I was most pleased to see him drive off....see ya.... see ya many hours from now....my spoons and cups no longer make me nervous just sitting over on the counter. And that cupboard door can stay open for as long as it needs, I know I wont walk into it. Although.... he did arrive home early.. not that he was expecting dinner or anything.... there are no leftovers... the stuff that was left over was given to Mr. Homeworkboy. He was back at his usual antics upon his arrival.... cleaning something.... like putting away the recylclables, you gotta like that.

I was living in the "quietzone" today.... everything that I did seemed silent.... the people bussling the kids to school, my group that I coordinate was very silent, the fighting seniors were missing in action, after school people seemed not to be around, the sister saved me from the General PAC Meeting tonight in a wonderfully silent manner...even the people at the most dreaded place in grocery land were silent....the world is so quiet... that the voices are beginning to fill up in my head.

Standing tall...

After a fine feast of chicken and stuff.... the girl and I took a quick ride with the safari vehicle and went bear hunting. We met up with a couple families of deers, a coyote and one bear hanging in the trees collecting apples, and another cruising the brush. As we were leaving the girl spotted one just 20 feet away. There he was standing tall... checking out the chick in the safari rig. (That's the Pipster standing up on the passenger seat looking out the sunroof). He ran... smart bear... if he's in a tree collecting apples.... he probably doesn't have what it takes in his bank account to keep this girl happy !! She may be just a bear hunter, but she really is a gold digger.

What do you do with the chicken?

This being Sunday... as a kind gesture, I decided to put together some assemblance of a dinner. A dinner that has a bunch of colours that all go together. Of course I bought the lovely roasted chicken from the grocery store... it was very good, all $8.99 of it. I compared prices.. and a raw version was $8.00. So, I figured I was getting a good deal. Feeding your family cooked food is once again a kind gesture. We have a very simple dinner plan at this house. We used to have sit down family dinners, that doesn't happen much anymore. Someone was usually sent away from the table angry and tearful, and the only family members that were left were the eldest and furriest members. The eldest members of the family would sit and not talk and eat their dinners, and the furriest members would sit at attention just in case the youngest members didnt make it back. Our new plan, which has been in place for quite a few years, finds family members rejoicing in their beautifully coloured Sunday Dinner plates in all corners of the house. Everyone has smiles, and everyone eats it. Believe it or not.... with all this polite practice of successful dinner eating... this family is able to go out to restaurants, and not need four tables.

The tricky part to making dinner is clean up. Mr. Cleanandtidy asked me what I am going to do with the chicken. "What do I always do with the chicken?" I ask him. He says, "Nothing, you forget about it, and I clean it up otherwise Elpee (younger sillier evil shepherd) will jump up and get it". "Alright then, it's settled...I'll do the same thing with it tonight".... he he he he he he

Oh, and by the way... if anyone happens to speak with Mr. Cleanandtidygreatpresentbuyingman I am wanting some new binoculars. I need them. I don't need glasses, I need new binoculars. I seemed to have overused the binocs' this summer. Really.

Besides... I will need them to start with my latest spying adventures..... there is a Cougar in our midst....can't do that with blurry binocs.

Random act of kindness..

I gave my girl the gold elastic ribbon from a box of chocolates for her hair. The princess blondie was immediately happy. One day she will learn where these gold ribbons came from... and feel ripped off..... they have come from expensive boxes of chocolates... but we don't need to tell her that right now.

I'll continue on my search for other more extreme acts of kindness... but today I am limited, I am at work. Can't be nice at work...

The Furnace is in....

Mr Furnaceman came yesterday, and his friend. They looked kinda old. I thought for a short while that they weren't going to make it... not that they couldn't put the furnace in.... but make it out of our house without heart attacks. I told Mr. Cleanandtidy to go and help them..."Go and check if they have colour....???.... is that guy ok that's sitting on his toolbox.....???? ... go man... go.....quick, fast, get them out lickity split.....!

Doing Nothing...

The Evil Little Mr. Cleanandtidy says he's doing nothing today. That will not happen. From this very workstation I will WILL him to clean and tidy something. I know he will fail at his task to do nothing, and I will help him. I am a good and kind wife.

Faded, but fast.

So, I am typing from the keyboard that is attached to this lovely new PC. I'm at work... snicker, snicker, snicker.....the most exciting part is that it is so fast.... I tap a key, and the info is in front of me. Although... from the looks of things.. I am quite faded.....(which is the view I am getting from the new flat screen)... a dull faded green....now, that is not me!!! At least, I don't think that's me.

You warm my heart....

That's right Mr. Furnaceinstaller. I am waiting for you to install my new furnace and heat my home and put a smile on my face. Actually what would really warm my heart would be to win the $24,000 dollars that is up for grabs from one of our many radio stations... I just have to remember to answer the phone "I listen to Jack!". The cup of coffee that I have brewing right now will warm my heart too, so will the shower I am about to go have. I am hard to please. Must go, the little heater is in the other room... not here.

Picture Perfect

It was the kids picture day today. There was no time for breakfast, making lunches, or walking to school. The only thing we had time for this morning was for primping. Princesses must look their best on picture days, hense the long navy blue sleeveless lined gown worn by the Pipster herself, of course with a matching hairstyle. A gentle flowing bun that was glued and sprayed into place. I just hope she didn't do her very best squeagie smile... that wouldn't be very princess like in her princess attire. I really do wish the girl did have a tiara...oh, and a pair of nylons would have been appropriate.. but what the heck.. it was a long dress anyways.

The boy on the otherhand was sporting his favourite "loud" shirt. His "do" was a bit of work as well. I needed to cut his hair around his ears... I hate it when the hair gets a bit long... bloody hippie in training!!! Hopefully he was able to create the persona of a happy go lucky child... not the bored yet crosseyed look which is what was returned to me last year... with fingers crossed I will hope for the best.

The husband has slowed on his husbandry duties... no dinner last night, the clothes in the dryer were barely dry, the kitchen table even disorganized. His holidays are over soon, which is good. He has a very nasty cold which I hope I do not get.....!

I've cried once too many times today

Deanna the seagull saver cried when Mr. Seagull was picked up by the local animal helpers. I couldn't leave this poor guy running around a parking lot... only to be squished by a careless nominded impatient idiot. (Those are the types of drivers that exist around here). .... hence why there was a crazy woman running around in a parkinglot with a box in her hands this afternoon.... waving the box at drivers when they got too close the stealth footed seagull. Hopefully they can fix his broken self, and send him flying...
Crying session number two... today was gymnastics day. There was a lot to cry about here. Why oh why do we not own a video camera. The hour that my Pip was their, was once again priceless. Today I had tears streaming down my face... and the lady sitting on the bench next to me asked me if I was ok. This girl is just killing me... she is truely in love with being in gymnastics... and is trying to the best of her ability.... and I am having the show of my life. The lady told me I wasn't allowed to laugh. I will laugh, and laugh and laugh. (The quiet laughing... that make tears pop out that is). My Pip has no idea how much I laughed. I laughed because I love watching her so much, from here on in, she will only get better. After 5 consecutive tries of trying to do a summersault she finally did it. Time after time she was kicking the wrong leg up first trying to do a cartwheel, which the end result was watching her rolling on her bottom, and seeing the arms and legs flying in the air. See, my warped sense of humour tells me this is funny. The girl still has the biggest smile on her face, and once again she looked absolutely princesslike, with the arms and legs of a giraffe.

Mission Accomplished.

First PAC meeting of the year. The first of many more. At the end I layed the ground rules. No more talking and talking.... I will become the evil clock watching woman. That is my role. If someone wants to speak, they get timed.... yes, sounds like an evil plan, and is evil.... See, really if you look at it, it's a compliment.... "Oh, I see you have an obscene amount of chatter just dying to get out... let's see you can say it all in under two minutes!".....Now, I will set the record straight... this is just for the PAC-X people.... not for the general meetings... if anyone shows up for those... it's a pleasure to hear them speak. The clock will be reserved for the chatty crowd only, and to keep everyone on task....otherwise we will wind up at the school the whole day.

Secondly.... another mission accomplished. I saved a life today. Well, I kind of saved a life today. Okay, I hope I saved a life today. After the PAC meeting I wanted to whip down to a local drugstore and drop something off... as I was leaving, I almost managed to bump into a seagull. "Little fella, you better fly away before you get rolled on"... and of course that's when I noticed this guy wasnt' going to do any flying anytime soon. Luckily I had my cell phone... and all my preprogrammed numbers for the people that help animals and birds and such. I had to call them a number of times before getting through.. and finally I did. They told me to contain the thing. So, I went back into the pharmacy, and got a box... and out I went to the parking lot. Now parking lots as we know are kind of hazardish... but this Pharmasave parking lot is very hazardous... always has been... ands it certainly not safe for a broken seagull. I wandered around after it for a while, just me and my box... I had to bring in some recruitment.... I yelled at a lady to "stop that bird!"... as I pointed at the poor little fella...see, he was very stressed, so he tried to fly off... and fell over, and that's when I put a box over the poor little guy. But then I had to stand in the parking lot, right at the entrance to the parking lot actually, just me in the way, with a box on the ground.... and lots of cars. People were able to make it past... but I had to put myself between the cars and the box... because people would have plowed into it.
So, the word of the hour is.. preprogram your cell phones with ALL of the animal emergency numbers, and, remember to program your phone with the after hours emergency numbers.... cause accidents don't just happen in the daytime, or Monday to Friday. Hm. (And I wonder where Mr. Safety gets his safetiness from!!)

The first day....

Today is the day that I take up post as a vp of our little school Parent Advisory Committee. This is good. I am planning on doing absolutely nothing for the entire year. I will sit on the committee mainly to keep the President in order. I was the secretary for the last two years.. and I really really disliked this evil little job. My blue ink flew across the sheets of white... and then I would have to eventually type them into ledgible notations. This I had trouble with. I hated typing minutes.. so much, that I have had the whole summer to type the last set of minutes from the very last PAC meeting... and what I am doing... writing about them. Here. I am planning on doing my vp role as a ride in the backseat. My friend laughed at me and told me that wont be the case... I would be doing lots.... I laughed in my head.... ( I wont be).....my role this year will be to keep the pres from talking too much. She does that.. a lot... over and over about the same crap... she's kind of an alzheimers-in-training.... I will put a stop to that... that is my mission for this year. (I say that now....talk to you in June....)

From theory to practice.

Speaking from your heart, empathic commmunication, understanding your needs. Restating what's inside of you, what drives you.... sounds all good... if only I can take this theory and put it into practice everyday... especially when I am at work. That would me most helpful. My worry about being the only person at this seminar was layed to rest when there was no parking at the hotel. That made me happy.

On the home front.... Mr. Cleanandtidyvacationinghusbandman... managed to make a lasagna, take kids to school, clean gutters and drink coffee, read his paper, clean his kitchen counters and had something to say to me when I returned home. Wow. Life with a Mr. Mom.... Now he has taken the Pipster to swimming, and will be going to Costco to pick up dog food. I am worried that next week that this fellow may decide to quit his job...he was rather gleeful upon my arrival. I don't do glee, I do glum. I do silence. I do wonderment..... but gleeful... that's too much of a change... and it's only been two days. I am frightened for what the end of the week will bring.

Please no outbursts...

I have a workshop to go to tomorrow. I feel like I am going to be the only one, in this huge room, with chairs all around me. Just me and the guest speaker. I'd just love not to go now. But I should, it's rather convenient that I am going to go to something when the Mr. Cleanandtidy man will be home to cover for me. Besides, he's successful at getting the kids to school on time. I am not so hot at that. Anyways, I just don't want to be the only one that decided that this was an interesting subject."Nonviolent Communication".. the leaflet said he was an international peacemaker...I hope I don't have an outburst....I must go.

Doing a double take

It's getting close to saying goodbye to the great black bears that are roaming our streets, yards and vast fields.... except don't get to excited about seeing them scour the ground for food. Lately, we have watched the family do some aireal work up in the trees. The bouncing bobbling cups have found a haven for amusement parks for bears... except that some of the rides are not too sturdy. There are bowed branches all over the place.... and the repair people are not too swift in getting these rides back up and running. In fact they come with their own theme music ....
"A whole lot of shaking going on"... that is what we witnessed earlier this evening.