I think here they were practicing a new dance routine.. well that's what it looked like from the sidelines. It's very serious ball here, all the time. 

They take their warm-up very serious.. stretching those muscles for optimum performance in the game. The fellow to the far left keeps spits on that back pocket... I can see here that he practicing up for a game full of spit eating.  

These boys are serious about baseball.... very serious... 

Who are these people, and why do they do that.... don't they know that we are all afraid of them? 

I am not sure the reason why I am attracted to this sort... it could be the similarity in the big bad uncontrollable hair.. I am not sure what else it could be..... 

Happy Parade People. 

The 11:00 News:

1. There's too many police cars still driving around our street. Our Vancouver Police Department member neighbour is placing too many calls to 911 himself.
2. The Canadian Tire parking lot is a good place to hand out food to people that are asking for change. It's a good thing that the chicken that I gave to the guy was actually cooked. The buns and bananas were easy to throw together mind you. It is also interesting to note that some people care... like the employee that was working at Canadian Tire while I was adding some pink fluid stuff to my vehicle.... "Hey!!!.... where are you putting all that pink fluid???".... scary things like that....
3. Credit Unions are just not handy if they have to take your number and call you back... just after you have asked the respresentative all kinds of questions.
4. It's sometimes good to listen to your children, when they repeat to you at least twenty times that they shouldn't go to school, and in fact, it is not said to irritate the parent, but rather to serve as a warning... So, Little Pipsters with really big tonsils and gurgly voices should not be placed in situations such as classrooms. Kind of maybe. This becomes even more apparant when the friend that she loves, and comes to our house every morning... which the Pipster always goes screaming down the hallway to say hello...... just lies in our bed, and doesn't bother saying hello.
5. There are days in your life that you can actually find out what type of flooring that your children have. It takes some time and effort, and god willing a vacuum..... but rest assured perservance pays off. Today we found The Pip's floor.... it's hardwood. Interesting.... I thought we had a multi-coloured shag in there. (ok... that's just eeeewwww!)
6. It's generally the first twenty minutes of being left alone that dogs do the most damage.. like getting into backpacks and ripping out all of it's contents.. including a grade 2 planner, and a skipping rope.
7. One thirty in the afternoon is the best time to go to the walk in clinic... and with absolutely nobody in the waiting room, or anybody else in the building, with the actual doctor sitting at the front counter... there is the circumstance that they will still require you to wait... just because.
8. It's best not to panic when you realize that you do not have any page protectors left in your scrapbooking supplies... and it is especially important to hide them from the dog that seems to like that sort of stuff... and turns the pages with her claws.
9. The new old dryer is sounding like it has new old problems, which is not comforting to me since it is new and old.
10. Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day for counting how many antibiotic capsules I've taken, rather than today. Todays count may be over.. by 2, and the grand total should only be 3. I believe I have misplaced my calculator.

Aaaaahhhhh... and lastly the weather.

It has proven to be a remarkable day here on the west coast. The clouds couldn't get any more billowy and grey. There is an enormous amount of rain that is showing it's stuff all across the front lawns of everywhere. And what is a day on the west coast without the sun peeking through for only moments at a time..... another thumbs up. Hopefully tomorrow this rain trend will remain.... because another day with rain, is yet another day that I do not have to fight with my hose reel on my front lawn which is similar to a misbehaving badger at my heels.

And that's the kind of day it's been for Thursday May 19th, good night.

Weather watch

Yesterdays weather: sun clouds rain
Happiness level: high
Todays weather: clouds and even more rain
Happiness level: glee filled and grinning.

I'm all into this natural sprinkling that is taking place.... well, not on me, on the lovely grass seeds.

The green green...

grass of home. I cut the front lawn today. It looks very green, lush and cheerful... almost like a lawn that has no weeds. It is a very deceiving front lawn, and I am very proud of it. I will post no pictures....and please don't come and stand in the middle of it.... just so that I can keep telling the people of the world that.. and you will just have to believe what you read... and who cares what the other saying is all about! (believing and reading)...

I also threw about another 50 handfuls of grass seed across the front lawn, on top of the 75 that I threw last week... perhaps this week it feels like germating... because last week it didn't feel the need to.. well, only some of it did. I also bought a chemical agent to kill the lovely beginnings of MORNING GLORY that has invaded parts of my yard.

And, you may as well get it over with...you can call me "the lady ant killer"... because that is what I have turned into. I have baited little dollips of ant-serum all over the place, because it seems that I have ants all over the place... and more importantly... they have taken to eating some of my flowers. And with that.. they must die. I paused for a moment today to value and appreciate the life cycle of ants, and their importance to our world, and the environment... and then I squeezed the last drop of ant-serum beneath the Japanese Maple.... hopefully it will get them all... perhaps the neighbours will have some extra ants this year.. because I have decided to be bold and take a "Just Say No to Ants" kind of approach this year. Sorry guys.. this year will not be your year to overthrow this kingdom. At this point next year isn't looking good either.

ABP on a Mastercard

My Mastercard has left me.
Up.
Gone.
Out of my life.
It has turned to the darkside.... it's now spending time in Mr. Husbandman's back pocket. He's taken it for a little R n R... just to show it what he does all day... so that "the mastercard" can be put to use, while he is hard at it. Mr. Husbandman is determined to give it a couple of lessons in restraint. But... knowing what I know of my Mastercard... it will taunt him the whole day and his pocket will call to him for all the hours that it sits in his pocket... "Oh, you-who... you know who you are... please take me out of here.. and I will show you what I am capable of". I just know that my mastercard will break him...

Oh, and here is Mr. Husbandman home now... sporting a new drill, in a big black box...... and here's my mastercard... warm to the touch.. in fact... feeling a little hot......

How I'm feeling after a day without my mastercard.... grinning and gleeful..... I knew that Mr. Husbandman was taking the card out for a testride today... to purchase his manly power tools.... I just knew it.. but it was little surprise for the unsuspecting mastercard.

I must go and calculate my airmiles now.

What happened earlier...

Nothing happened earlier.... but it's something that made me laugh. The girl was playing with her friend (that was wearing a beautiful army patterned sun dress... very quaint!!)from next door. The girl next door has had a runny nose forever, and ever. I believe since the day she came home from the hospital the day after she was born... with her smoking in the home father. Anyways... that's not what the story is about.. because that isn't laughable, that is truely disgusting.... and yet I grew up in a home where my parents smoked.. and then one parent smoked, because the one parent caught on that it clearly wasn't good for you, and the other parent finally caught on that it wasn't good for you, but didn't quit, although that parent quit smoking in the house... but you know...that was years ago... this still isn't about that story either.... but wait this is.......

Oh wait... in useless facts that happen.. I just sent the boy into the laundry room to collect his blankets for bed... and the dryer went off... and if you have been doing your home reading.... this old-new dryer buzzes for three minutes and sends currents throughout the massive 1365 square foot house.... so, as he enters the laundry room in the dark... (which he is scared of), the old-new dryer announces it's completion... which sends the boy flying in fright. Poor boy of mine, frightened of the dark, and old-new dryer noises....

Back to the story at hand.... so I am talking to my mother on the telephone... and these girls are flitting about... back and forth to her room, through the kitchen, back out through the den.... and I was trying to do the dishes from the earlier morning adventures for the pot-luck lunch provided by Deanna. Finally I had had enough of the flitting and the skirtting...... so I had a hiss attack.... " Get ... Get... Get.... stay outside, stop flitting about me.... just get and go jump on the trampoline like you wanted to...."... oddly enough the little Pip and friend finally scattered. A couple of minutes later the two of them were at the other side door... trying to make their way back in... so I paused on the dish detail, and excused my mothers ear to my pocket... and hissed once again... just stay outside.... what is it that you guys need?

The little girl with the bad nose and the interesting sundress says:... " I need to go home and get some underwear on before I can jump on the trampoline...."

Alright then... off you go....as I whisk them through the kitchen.... and out through the front door.... go find those undies missy.

People scare me.

Sneaking in some words....

While the boy isn't looking... I have to try this kind of stuff. He can be such a demanding little fellow when he wants his computer time and all. But, being the kind mother that I am have once again reminded him .... come here boy, now read this: HE NEEDS TO PRACTICE HIS PIANO BEFORE HE CAN USE THE COMPUTER... he is such a good young son. .... as he pounces away to the den and his oreo cookies.

And.. in other moment of the day news that I need to report, that no one needs to read.... I, can solemnly say.... I am able to predict the happenings of the day at my stroke group... before it actually happens. We had lots of food, and lots of people, and the extra people that do not normally arrive early, came early. It was all good.

It is now a day for celebration. I do not need to work this weekend, or have my Group on Monday... or take the children to school on Tuesday. It's all cause for many celebrations really. If only I could be guaranteed that I will come out headache less... I would drink wine! Lots of it... well, not right at this moment as I have to go and fetch the lady Pipster from her friends house. Do wine and antibiotics go together.... or is that just pain killing drugs that I should be concerned with? I believe I will celebrate anyways..... which makes me think of a story......

The other day I needed to use the phone book a whole bunch of times... all for different reasons/numbers that I needed looking up.... (I am thinking it was international phonebook use day...) One such number included the non-emergency number to the Queen's Cowboys Hotel (aka Royal Canadian Mounted Police - station) ... to let them know of the neighbourhood criminal doing criminally things...or looking that way... anyways... we have our phone books tucked away in a little cupboard... where we also store ALCOHOL! and my 5 bottle wine collection. So, there's nothing more disturbing than hauling out wine bottles, and picking the what you think is the correct phone book (because around here you only have 5 to pick from)...and putting the bottles back, and then knocking one over, and then shuffling the phone books because the one you picked, is of course the wrong one. This happened many times to me the other day.... clearly I need to start drinking way way WAY more wine. CLEARLY. I will start now.

Oh,... and in other random thoughts that should be shared at this hour.... I was waiting at the stop light today, in my 15 year old white/nondescript colour SUV. I watched this woman... who was doing nothing really, or than expending energy. And that is what I thought about. It must take a lot of energy to keep yourself this stiff and serious looking. It made me think of over filled water balloons... you don't know when they are going to burst, or what direction. Her clothes were tight, (not a bad tight.... probably just to keep the energy stores close to her) and the slit in her jean skirt gave her enough room to march her legs across the street Energy woman created such a thwacking noise from her flip flops, I could hear them with my back window down. She had her arms wrapped almost twice around her, and her purse pressed to her side. I watched her walk across the crosswalk... and just wondered to myself... is she always like this, or is it the low riding eyebrow entangled cowboy hat that is throwing her off today. I think I would like to be like energy woman for an hour or ten.... I think what I really want is to thwack in flip-flops.

Must go... and be a real person now.

What am I doing here?

I ask myself this... not in a mortal perspective, or in search of deep meaning... but rather, why am I at this computer when I should slam some cookies together. But, I am here.

I had a call from my favourite fellow from my group... he will bring stuff... I so like him! I will bring stuff, and I will bring stuff in case my people show up, that I didn't call... I think I will call them now!

Oh, my little furry fraidycatdog was wanting in on the act of "things that taste good" to her... so she helped herself to the roast turkey sandwhich that belonged to one of the kids. I really had to double think the whole removal from her front paws ordeal... as in.... is it too late to save it for the lunch... or did she do real damage to the bag. Yes... that's a sad thought, but I had to throw it away... the bag was a bit wet from her biting at it to get at the real goods. I think now I will go and fish it out of the garbage, and give her the turkey.. I know that was drove her to steal from the lunchbag. Silly fraidycatdog... she just sat and wagged her tail when I came and took it away... but of course I had to call out "shame"... which made her tail wag even more.

Oh, I think I am going to create something with Pitabread and creamcheese for this non-event today.... I also have to come up with some colour and paper for the after the lunch fest... because people will want to do something... perhaps a handout of toothpicks... and we can play toothpick your partner.. in case people fall asleep!

I'm off for more useless tasks. ... in which I have already checked my awful front lawn... and the grass is happy today... I see blades penetrating the creepy crawly viny things that I will not use lawn repairer weed and feed things on... I just wont. I want to badly mind you...

OH, and finally... in othe useless tasks that are fun to snigger at.... the girl and I have been cruising the roadsides for garbage from others to retrieve. REALLY. Our neighbouring city is having a big clean up special this week ... and we have been hunting for some stuff. We managed to find a broken scooter last week... which is exactly what we needed.... we needed a wheel for her scooter... which is something that you can't buy around here.... and we have every possible store in the world to buy something from... so we had to wait and shop at the roadside store to find what we were looking for! It is such a waste to get rid of her scooter when it's just one wheel that isn't up to working right...so now we will have an extra scooter... for someone. (Just to note... I have found some of the best pots and barrels at these grand non-events....so it really is worth the look.. although I don't get out and actually touch the trash... we just look with our eyes, from within the confines of the vehicle....!) Must go bake and create... stat like!

Uncertain Somedays.

Well, I am walking into the great uncertaintanty today. I have called all the members from my group, told them about todays great adventures in potlucking a lunch... I have heard back from two people. This should be interesting. ....."Hello... I know you people are out there.... and I know you like lunches......hello... call me back...!"

I am also uncertain if two other people are coming.... and I didn't call them for the lunch... I am now very certain that they will be there today.

My Pip is still sleeping... that for certain is a blessed event. She absolutely was not going to go to bed until she found out who won on "Survivor". Oh, and other uncertaintanties..... the jury people pained that Katie girl rather monsterous.... I think the cameras missed a lot of that action... I didn't develop a great dislike to her... she was out there to play her game her way. I didn't quite find her that evil to others... so I must have missed something.... for the last however many weeks survivor plays for.

Ah... I am certain that my Thursday night television addiction will be coming to a close rather soon. With Survivor over, and I am sure the season finally of CSI, and then the end of ER.... well that's it for me.....I will have to wait until OCTOBER before DaVinci's Inquest comes back.... then I will watch TV again. Of course I am up in the middle of the night a couple nights a week... so I am sure I can get some D. Inquest reruns. This will make going to the library a much more successful event. Now I can bring books home with the actual intention of reading them cover to cover, not just cover to mid-section... that just so doesn't work!

I believe the boy only has a couple of games left in baseball.... that too will not be sad to done with. I like baseball... there is no convincing me of that fact... it's the mayhem of the homestead that I can not stand. While at baseball the Pipster always manages to find a huge piece of filth, and spread it across her clothes and body.... just so I can get her home and convince her to have a bath at 8:30 in the evening. The Pip only takes long baths.

I am not certain that this tea is going to do the trick of making my nose stop running. It's a little method I use for the allergyness of the season... just cottonwood issues... but it makes my sinuses crazy.... which in turn keeps me crazy.. so there's always an answer for everything if you look hard enough!

I wasn't confident that the huge amount of mushroom manure would make my flower pots and baskets happy... but this morning those leaves appear to have smiles on them... and actually seem perkier, and the most important BIGGER... sitting in those pots. I think I love mushroom manure. I still don't care for my front lawn... it isn't perky and happy. It needs mushroom manure. In fact the first person that I find today that isn't perky and happy will great a gift of a bag of mushroom manure.... now there's certainly a gift of happiness.

The boy is impatiently waiting to use this beastly machine... which is pausing as I type... there is certainly a bug living in here... I just know it.... although this will not be the item that receives the bag of mushroom manure... that will be saved for a human. I think I am going to invest in something that kills bugs dead.... but it comes in a box.... which I pay way more money for, and doesn't smell.

Blades upon blades

That is what I am hoping for. Blades of grass sprouting all across my front lawn. I have planted almost an icecream pale full of seeds.... and three have started to sprout. THREE I SAY! I even have watered, and misted, and moisted, and trickled water over my non-sprouting lawn. Today I am hoping for all that to change....... as I walked out the door at 0630 am it was pouring buckets outside, big stainless steel containers worth of rain was crashing down. I think this is what it's going to take... to get the job done! I will be expecting vast areas of green-ness when I return.

voodoo truths

I have lived through a vicious week of pain throughout my face which radiated through my temples, and down into my ear and up through and around the roof my mouth. And, just to fool me, it would subside, and stop... then start up again with a vengence.... yes, very similar to (a womanly word here... so boys.. you won't have a clue).... a contraction. That pain has subsided now. Interestingly, my sister stopped using me as her voodoo doll of lies simultaneously withthe pain stopping. Oh thank you sister. She was in hysterics laughing about my pain and sudden Tylenol 3 habit... as she had to borrow my name to get out of an obligation that she didn't really want to go to. .... and all the tales that were told to the obligatory visitee.... came true .... it was a nice experiment in voodooism.

In other truths of the day......I shall list them....

1. I still DESPISE build-a-bear... but the girl conned me... because she got a gift card last week from the birthday party.
2. The boy managed to spend time in the build a bear store, and memorize the music while there... just so he could sing it to me on the way home.
3. I still do not have ear plugs.
4. Sometimes Safeway is just too big.....
5. The boy got blue separators in his back teeth today....
6. The orthodontic contract scares me.....
7. My girl scares me. All the time.
8. At this moment she is in love with her new Pink Fluffy Poodle named Roxy.
9. My sensory seeking nephew insisted on biting chunks off of the PVC type tubing that protects the bars on the trampoline.
10. The other nephew insisted on jumping head first into the netting that surrounds the trampoline.
11. I hope the next time they come back... it's raining.
12. My sister is interested in getting a trampoline... it should last about a week, with her two.
13. I have not yet asked how the Mr. Husbandman purchased his new cordless drill. The airmile accumulation must continue!!!
14. I did however; tell Mr. Husbandman if there are any purchases to be made, that he should forward them to me in writing, and I will carry out his wishes... with my Mastercard.
15. Also, any other wishes that do not include using the Mastercard will not be granted. EVER
16. My sister told me she wants her fold-up lawn chair back... because the identical one that she has at her house which she claims to be mine... "the back flips up".
17. I will be sure to ask for her piece of intact PVC tubing when she gets her trampoline... because mine has chunks bit out of it. (!!!)
18. The catdog can tell the time... but only at 5:00.
19. There's snoring coming from the den.... it's not getting closer, although it's getting louder.
20. Although I was up at 4:50 this a.m., I will barely make it up for the 0530 wake up, and the 0630 pick up from the sister in the green honda people mover. That I know is the truth!

Today's agenda:

it's 5:10 in the AM.... a list of things that I have done so far:

1. Just found the perfect early morning show to watch on the history channel.
2. I believe the sound of Ma Ma! is not coming from the television set.
3. Escort the girl to the big scary bathroom, that is right across the hall from her.
4. Tuck my girl back into bed.
5. I look out the window of her bedroom, which faces the street.
6. Watch the resident criminal wander in and out of people's driveways.
7. ~~Ping~~ I realise this is the resident criminal.
8. Sneeze 15 times.
9. Try and tuck the girl back into her bed, which she has now clearly refused to do since she has seen the criminal.
10. Tuck the girl into the den, and change my history channel show to something for an 8 year old.... like her favourite.... "killer instinct".
11. The criminal get's on a motorbike and makes his way through the connector trail... (where motorbikes do not go...)
12. Call on the Queens Cowboys (police) for some early morning patrols around the streets.
13. Formulate yet another conversation in my head to tell the boy and girl that this is how low you go when you are on drugs.
14. I almost forgot to let the little fraidy catdog inside.
15. Made some coffee.

Trusty T's

Earlier this evening I decided to head over to the grocery store for milk, and other useless items that will fill a grocery bag while taking my money, but collecting airmiles all the while. Along the way I spotted my friend out in her front yard cutting her beautiful lush thick bladed green lawn. I am not envious, I am not jealous, I am ....... so wishing I had a thick green weedless front lawn, yes I am. Anyways... we were happily talking about life and such ... and then along comes a tooth conversation. She relays her story.. and I relay mine... such coincidences you see. As it turns out... my face started misbehaving badly... very badly... and it had calmed down for all of the afternoon...anyways, when I had seen her, I had just taken 2 EZ swallow Tylenol, from the stash in the 15 year old SUV.... She offers me up some of her Tylenol 3's. I wave her off... I'll be alright. She insists, and runs in the house and comes back with a little bottle.... I'll take them for a safety net... I should be OK.. the face gave me no trouble what so ever last night.....

YA RIGHT!!!! It's a good thing that I snatched the little offering right out of her hand, and brought them home, and brought them in and re-labelled the bottle with TYLENOL #3 on the outside. ... (for great fears that one of the chicklets would wake up... and Mr. Husbandman would give them these very pills.. and knock them smiling for days...) but not to worry... for I have woken up in super severe pain in this face... and have cracked open the jar of TYLENOL 3'S....and have sucked the vapors, fumes and the dust from the very container.

2 T 3's later and the face has settled into a dull thud with that fresh in the face with the cast iron frying pan feeling ...... I like having friends... I believe the dentist has just made my best friends list, especially for tomorrow.

1-800-don't-come-near-me.

How do you do that? How do you go to the dentist.. and tell them to fix you... but don't come near me?

My face-freak-out-spasm-for-many-hours-and-feels-like-a-spark-plug that has been injected into my face has settled. It's just tired and sore from being such a "freak face", and I can handle that... I think. The crowned tooth on the other hand has decided that it is going to be quite sensitive to the whole ordeal... and continues to give me grief.... perhaps because the face-freak-out thing overshadowed the real pain that was living in my mouth while I was busy noticing other things.

I think I am going to call the dentist tomorrow.... so he can stare at my tooth, and touch it... then I will have to yell at him... and then I will leave. Tomorrow will be a very productive day... I can just tell already. Bloody crowned things.. they just think they are so special....HA! if it only knew that it wasn't gold... but a mere porcelain jobby... this crowned tooth wouldn't think it was so special after all. It better start behaving like a regular tooth pretty darn quickly... otherwise it will be the last time it sees bristles or floss... take that !!

Here's the boy waiting on third... for something better to come along.... like a walk to home plate. 

The boy.. he made it to home plate...I believe he was supposed to be running.. but he could have been walking here.... 

Little Lady Pip... and her array of messiness worth of decorations.... I had to laugh at how windy it was... and how messy all the decorations ended up... but the Pipster didn't care... she was just plain happy. 

Now this is a cake... a stack of donuts... and the little frilly pipster girls were tickled by the pinkness... there were candles in them.. but since I was outside, on what turned out to be a very windy day... this is the only shot of The Pipster donut cake.... 

Things you do at Birthday parties. Clearly yo do not hand out paints that would resemble a colour of a dog... because you wouldn't end up with pink spotted purple creatures... that resemble the shapes of familiar animals. 

The tree man.

Almost a week ago now at this time the phone rings. It's the tree removal man. He would like to come and take our tree downs first thing Friday morning, but maybe more like noon.. so he says. It's a deal, I say... but you have to be here before three... because I am having a birthday party here... and it wouldn't look good if one of the birthday party goers gets bonked by a big branch. He assures me it wont be an issue, he'll be here before three. Mr. Husbandman goes outside first thing Friday morning and removes picket fences, and fences between the yards, and digs out little shrubs and a camilla bush/tree, and cuts the lawn.

And then we wait. And wait. And wait some more. And if we hadn't waited enough... we then wait some more. I don't do waiting. I am the queen of impatience... and that wouldn't be the flower that I am talking about. Take for example.......

I walk into the boy's classroom at 3:10 on the Friday..... and what is he busy doing at that time, but having yet another detention... and why... because he couldn't get his crap together... and hand in his homework, which he had done... because evil me had made him do it... but he had apparantley lost it from his bedroom, to the classroom. So I say to the teacher that I respect very much, but she makes me shake my head, as much as she shakes her head at me... but I still like her... because she makes the boy work... which is something that he is capable of... but isn't "in to" if he doesn't feel like it, but he's kind of frightened of her... which to me is a good thing. Anyways... I just say to her... not today lady teacher... (he has a fair amount of detentions... and not for being bad, but rather being air-headed... and I have to say... it hasn't done a lick of good all year... but I will continue to wait in hopes that he might just get the fact that his head is actually attached to his shoulders, although I won't hold my breathe...).. boy... I have some place to be.. and it's not waiting here for you....so then I say to the lady teacher... we will deal with him on Wednesday when you return... she laughs at my highly psychotic ways.... and then tells the boy to take his mothers day present with him... even though it seems that I do not care for him much right at that moment... she is positive that I like him. Which is the truth... except when he makes me wait... because I get rather impatient.... as just told by me.

The squealy girls then arrive at the homestead.... and not long after that... so does the tree man. OK.... what the god's are clearly unaware of... is that I am now completely digital camera happy... and want to document every moment of the goings on of life.... so now.. I am having great difficulty capturing our finely dressed tree cutter man, and the Pipenza's birthday party event. AND... Mr. Husbandman is greatly interested in the tree removal event... but doesn't have a clue how to work the new camera... because it is mine, MINE, MINE.... so he's good and useless for capturing photo's... as useless as he was to help with the Pipenza Birthday event... it became mutitasking mayhem.

The tree cutter man was an interesting fellow to watch... I especially like the way he used his trusty assistant as a branch buffer... that fellow definitely wears a hardhat for a reason... every day I am sure is practical joker day as another tree limb falls on his head. The tree cutter man was spiffed up in his uniform for tree cutting...clogs, suspenders, jeans with a fly have up/down, and a brown tie. It's does sadden me though... a brown tie... he knew he was coming to a birthday party.. he could have been better dressed... on Easter... he wore an Easter Tie, that certainly impressed Mr. Husbandman... which was how the big decision was made to hire this guy to cut trees. Although for a while I did wince at the tree cutter man.... that little tie of his almost made a dash towards the chainsaw a number of times. You know.. for a couple of moments during the birthday party event... I thought I was going to see heads roll. Almost like a clown gone bad. Luckily... all turned out well, and they left a nice mess in the back yard to clean up.

Gone. The little yellow streamer was to keep the people that had arrived in my backyard away from danger... because yellow streamers are good for fending off wild girls.... 

A view from the other end...the tree man managed to save my hydrangea... I guess the tie that he showed up in meant he was all business about his business. 

Going, going..... 

One down, one to go. 

Now there's a good guy...cleaning up before the mess is even made. There's the offending right angled willow, and the other "tree" that's in the way..... but not for long.... 

Gum

I am not certain if I am carrying the scent of a piece of chewing gum, or a lovely peppermint patty. All the same, that is the fragrance of the day... or at least it has been for the last number of days. It goes like this.....

The other day I ate some baby carrots... and like all things that grow from the earth they should be good for you.. right, wrong. Very wrong. I have two teeth that connect in my mouth... (for you dentists out there... anterior open bite)... this didn't mean much to me way back when... what the heck is that???...oh well... off I go. Not that simple anymore. Anyways... one of those tooth connections have a crown on it.... so I munched and munched on carrots, using my one carrot crunching tooth. Somewhere between Sunday night, and early Monday morning... the face realized that this crowned tooth was agitated over the events of the carrot eating earlier in the following evening... and so my face woke me up to make me aware of it's unhappiness. For whatever reasons... since my face doesn't line up... (not on the outside on the inside!..as in joints and muscles!!) I have that TMJ that has come to haunt me when I am not looking. So now...I am feeling the effects of whatever unhappiness my face is having at the moments... I have maxed out on the Tylenol 650 mg sustained release for the hour... and am now using a peppermint stick to ease the temporary face freakiness which has plagued it. Oh, and I'm allergic to anti-inflammatories.... which right now I would trade my bestfriend for, my 15 year old white SUV, and perhaps the new old dryer. Sorry people, and things.

So now... I have had to keep track of the stories that I was planning to tell... but they might not be that tellable now that they are old news.... there's just something about yesterday's news that is just so non-exciting..... it's like the 11:00 news... the stories were always better at 5.

My Pip packs a punch. After seeing this waiting for her on the table, she marched down to her brothers room and bonked him on the head.... getting him to wake-up so she could open-up.  

I'm back.

I'm alive. That's all I can say. I wasn't sliced or diced or put into a evil eyed sleep inducing trance, by the LadyPipster. All is well, and I have some stories to tell. Just not now.

There's trouble brewing.

You know... I knew that eleven frilly squealy girls were going to make it to Pipenza's little birthday bash.... so I collected up eleven crafts. I never once took into consideration that there would be one extra child... that would be my girl. She is going to be quite nicely pissed when I tell her that she doesn't have a craft to paint.... so for now.. the plans have kind of changed. I have found in my cupboard of crap that we haven't used.. some door hangers... mind you they are for Christmas... but you never know.. someone may want to paint them. Or, even better perhaps there will be a little squealer who is a pokey painter.. and then it wont matter.. I did get two for each of them... them meaning the birthday party attendants, and forgetting totally the reason why I was doing this in the first place! That's trouble. Big time. I probably wont be back... ever.... although the boy has taken up interest in starting a blog... but he wants to call his Junior's Word of the Hour.....

The stalker.

My mom tracked me down the other day... she searched and searched... then she called me at home. Hey surprise... I was here! We strategically made our way over to the big box location to purchase stuff. I was there as her right hand (wo)man to lift and manuever the items to be purchased.

Little did I know at the time but my silent sounding cell phone had been ringing. I have it with me... for what reasons I am not sure... but when "the people" need to find me... I'll be there, to answer... right, I WILL BE THERE, .... it's all good in theory. The cell phone isn't silent, it actually rings with an actual ringer, that actually sounds normal. Clearly I need an updated model that calls, whistles and sings to me... so I can hear it... but that's only a maybe.

We go for some lunch after and as we were standing outside plotting our next moves... along comes a burgandy Montana van with a crazed woman waving her arms about inside. DRATTS... we've been caught. The Montana Van slides smoothly into a empty parking stall where the window slowly makes it way down... and the noise coming from the insides was beyond our eardrums liking.... " I knew you two were up to something... this is a plot to get me...... do you people not answer your cell phones anymore, so this is where you go when my back is turned?!''..... she fired at us. The lovely sister had found us... we laughed at her persistance, and continued on with plan making, then ~~~~POOF~~~~, like that.... the burgandy van slowly back out, with my mom inside...

Unable to deliver.

The other day I met a friend for coffee. Her very first request was please don't make her laugh.... she hurt too much from her work out. I thought in my head.... "I'll see what I can do for you". As in... what stories should I tell to keep a straight shooting sensible grounded level about me, that results in a dull eh-he, eh-he. I am sure that lasted all of a minute. Then I resumed normal chitter-chatter.... she never complained once.. although I think I saw her wince a couple of times. Too add fuel to the supposed none laughing event was her almost 4 year old daughter that gave me lots of material to work with. Sorry L, not sure what made me do it! Before we knew it, even the people that hang around the coffee place on a regular every morning basis had left for their daily lives. In an effort to keep L from hurting herself with her sore muscles again... I will not speak of the tales that were told, or people that eat icecream from the Tillamook Cheese Factory... that clearly wouldn't be kind. I was most amazed at how you can totally become oblivious to time when you are in the company of good people.

Who's child is this?

There are some things that I don't really give a ..... let me think about the right word... yes, crap about. Things like birthdays. The day comes, and goes... and ooopps, another year older. Big deal... it happens to everyone. The Mr. Husbandman really doesn't care about them, and the 10 year old son is developing along the same lines since we have given up on the birthday parties... 2 years ago..... he asks every now and then if he could have a birthday party, and I say OH SURE.. but nothing materializes.... and even the boy forgets. The girl on the other hand was borne into another universe, but temporarily planted with this family for shear temporary mortel sanctuary, until her grand universe will be presented to her on a plush pink carpet, after all of the plans have been inspected and passed by none other than the Pipster herself. This is posing a problem to my sensitive ears. If I have to hear one more time that it's her birthday, and she's having a party... I'm going out and getting the shop vac and sucking up all her presents and every piece of the party parade that has made it's way into this home. Although, I have to say... it's a good thing that she has talked non-stop about the whole hideous event... it did remind me that I did need to go and find her some sort of gift to keep the devine being happy while she is staying with us on this planet.. who knows how her kind can punish our kind... the evil and uncaring homestay pee-ons that we are. I think when I gave our Pip a hug tonight she was levitating beneath her covers. OK, and believe this.... I did contemplate taking her out of class Friday afternoon... just because the child is unbelievably off the wall about her 8th birthday.... not sure why that is. I am not even buying the girl a cake... she is getting a pink donut platter piled with donuts for her birthday cake. I came up with that idea... she loved it... all pink, all the time.... (when she's not wearing her lime green that is).

Anyways... after tomorrow the birthday high will end, and she will slump into a deep depression by Saturday morning.... but, to fend off any further troubles that she may present... I will take her to the Elks Pancake Breakfast and load her up with syrup.... before the MayDay parade.

And in other useless tales that we tell about children:

The other morning I am telling the Pipster to hurry, which is the usual morning fare... (she doesn't hurry)... EVER!!!! The little Pipster turns to me... and in a polished tone says to me quite smartly: "You can not rush a lady, ladies do not rush".... she says, and continues to poke along at her regular pace. That's right Pip... your universe awaits you.....

I caught her chasing a boy tonight, (at the boys baseball game) all in good fun, but she was chasing him. I stopped her and benched her... immediately. I told her to sit and stay... girls with long blond hair do not chase boys... believe me on that one little lady. STAY. The girl from across the street was already benched by me for running in parking lots ( a dead end space with no cars moving)... which her mother would slice me over if she knew that her daughter was doing that... and she'd probably ask me for the dryer back.... so I had to get tough with the parking lot runner.. ... which was why the Pip was chasing the boy... because the girl across the street was no longer allowed to run through the parking lot... so she was egging my girl on the boy. "Lady Pipsters do not rush after boys", I said. If you were to see my Pip running, you would ask her to stop too. Believe me on that one.

AND.... in even more useless tales... the boy actually cranked out a hit tonight. He actually did it.... and had to pause at the plate, to watch it fly through the infield, into the outfield... run boy run!!

An object of desire. A cookie too beautiful to eat, but too sweet not to suck on. It was a well loved cookie.... I wonder where it made it to? 

Working weather.

For once I have heard a weather forecast when it will actually make a difference. A little light rain this morning, and sun this afternoon. Perfect, to me that is. I have overseeded my front lawn...now that the moss has been ripped out, and holes popped in the ground. I am sure that I will see bright green sprouting all over the place, and not just in the pictures that I post. I have a couple of hanging baskets that I am going to throw together.... and I am not certain how you exactly you "throw" pots together... but I have been doing it for years.

Since I have many plans because of the working weather.. I need some working fuel. Thanks to my friend I have some cream for my coffee.... that I forgotten was in the fridge. Lucky day for me. If I ration correctly I will have enough for two cups. I may as well drink it black.. but I just couldn't do that. Black coffee. I don't think so.

Speaking of drinks.. I watched the most interesting sight last night. Who else do I speak of, but none other than the Pip. I watched her try and get a cup out of the drawer last night. We have a stack of plastic cups that we have accumulated over time from a local restaraunt. Last evening she was looking for a certain cup to drink her orange juice with. She was pretty high-strung about the "no-milk" event going on in the home, and the fact that her brother shouldn't live here because he always "cleans-up with the milk", and when was he leaving because of this. Anyways... she was fittingly looking for a cup that was red, and she had some lid from who knows where that she was frantically trying to insert on anything. I became scared from this sight, and found her most favourite Barbie cup in the universe, and poured a whole one inch of juice from the last of the orange juice into her most favourite cup. She paused, then hissed, "I have always hated that cup.... I am going to dump the juice". Another moment passed, and she reconsidered the juice dumping process... and a smile came to her lips after she had downed it. I am not certain how I am going to get those "other cups" out of the drawer, and out of that mind of the Pip.....

Do they have "shot-put" practice in the rain? I have reminded my boy that he needs to wake up... wake-up, wake-up, wake-up, wake-up boy. I asked him if he needed a morning song to get him out of bed, he usually doesn't consent to this amount of ridiculous stuff... but this morning he did. So I marched down there.. and started singing anything that came to mind.. which was: "it's raining outside and you have shotput practice".... to the beat of nothing other than the words, and repeated it enough times until he registered the noise to his brain. Miracles of miracles it worked. The ten year old tall boy whipped himself up and out, shook the sand from his eyes, and then started in on doing his regular barking of orders. All systems check.

Miss Molassessmorning-glory has risen.... aka The Pip. Now I need to coordinate her pokiness to his busy-ness... and everyone should be happy. SHOULD. BE. HAPPY. I will go inform them of the minute details.

My Extrovert.

That is what someone called my girl today. I am thinking along the same lines. The fellow that called her that remembers her from last year with the bears... he lives at the lodge where the bears surround him. We saw him quite a bit... and she always had something to say to him. ALWAYS. But then.. I live with the girl... and she is clearly a little on the edge. She came out to the non-remodelled-ugly-but-still-thankful-that-it-is-my-roof-over-my-head-kitchen a while ago. Hmmmm... I say to her... what are you supposed to be? I am a flower garden she says... as she has all her bendy flowers wrapped around her ankles, wrists, and neck.

She refused to go to running club today on the grounds that she had fallen at lunch. Again. She falls everyday, it's just that today the wind was blowing in a different direction which halted the running efforts.

Pipenza is still refusing to go to a birthday party of one of the little girls in her class. Pips still worried about the bathing suit entanglement issue. BUT.. her little friend from across the street (who can run, chewgum, wear highheels, scream and cry all at the same time) was immediately thrilled at the prospect of the Pipenza accompaniment. I am hoping that it might be a go because of this... it will help her in her future life at the beach because she's a babe. She'll be part of that crowd that wear bikini's and go to beaches.... she's good at lounging and hanging out, and casually flipping through books and such. Total beachness I think. Right now she is hanging in the livingroom playing her Polly Pockets and trying to remove the cushions on my couch, so the Polly's can travel down hills. She's also a natural at destroying things.

I will ready myself for the steady string of demands that will come after a hiatus of silence..... it could be any moment now.

This is part of the magic in the forest that we spotted 

This is the magic of the forest that we were out investigating. 

UP close and personal. 

Pips additions to the backyard. 

This speciman appears happy as well... and what is that happy speciman that you have before you... a math drill sheet, and a smile. Unbelievable...  

More happy specimans. 

The Hostas are happy now that they have a little rockwall to sit upon. 

Airmile Tuesday.

WE are out of milk today. I can not buy any more milk until tomorrow... when Safeway (grocery store) has it's first Tuesday of the month customer appreciation day... and you get 10 times the airmiles... so tomorrow.. I must go, not today when I need it. Tomorrow only. There are so many harsh rules to living in this house.

I will have to start making lists of things that the kitchen may benefit from having.. like some stocked cupboards or stuff, or some juice/pop related items... in case people come over and request "Pop Please"... which someone does... and I as always chuckle in my head... "not for you!" The chicklets just kind of realized what pop was in the past year. Thank the good lord for that... we have already had way too many visits to the dentist between the six month check ups.

I am crazed over collecting airmiles.. so tomorrow is the day to go purchasing.

Speaking of kitcheny things: The Queen of the Kitchen once again reigns in this house. Penne noodles with no suace what so ever, and grated mozzerella cheese. That's it.. and no more. Anything beyond the melted cheese that might create a sauce is deemed unforgiveable... forever! The girl has requested soup... she is cold, and I have to fix that problem for her.