My walk next to the gates of hell have pretty much subsided. Not that I was going to hell, or destined for hell, raising hell, shooting to hell, doomed for hell, walk thru hell, unworthy of hell ... I have had my life interrupted for the past EIGHT months, walking swiftly along side the firey gates of hell. It it looks and sounds like hell .. well .. I was in the right location. Did it appear that I was in that exact location, well .. not so .. I appeared completely functioning and withit .. and yet all too not with it, and for the most part audibly functioning .. cause all other forms of life that was me was being sucked out of me .. except for the short and raw occasions of working .. and not that I have done much of that the past 3 1/2 months.
How odd. And ridiculous. Including .. I am not out of the hell fire yet ... today .. this week I feel a wicked amount better than I did last week at this time ... and last week at this time I was already feeling 30% better than I did the day before. Remarkable & incredible.
I feel adventure and fun and humour and craziness and willingness to do things seeping back into my bones. I can stand on my leg for an extended period of time, and actually not have to sit down in exhaustion because of the viscious and vile pain that followed me around at every single corner. Did I look like I was in pain .. nope. ... was I in pain .. with every single breathe. Did I take pain relievers .. I almost crunched myself through an entire bottle of tylenol for arthritis the past three months.
One would think that sleep would have been a welcome relief, or sitting with your foot up .. yes! for about 5 minutes ... and again, the pain would find me ... and then .. the last two months, I have been awoken from my very welcome slumber with a violent twitch that would lightening strike me awake ... and take 2 to 3 hours to begin to settle down.
In this past week .. my oomph for all things crazy has begun to set in .. I am clearly on the mend from this horrible walk NEXT to the gates of hell .. and interestingly enough .. I don't even know how I got here .. however; I certainly am on the path to my way out.
How odd. And ridiculous. Including .. I am not out of the hell fire yet ... today .. this week I feel a wicked amount better than I did last week at this time ... and last week at this time I was already feeling 30% better than I did the day before. Remarkable & incredible.
I feel adventure and fun and humour and craziness and willingness to do things seeping back into my bones. I can stand on my leg for an extended period of time, and actually not have to sit down in exhaustion because of the viscious and vile pain that followed me around at every single corner. Did I look like I was in pain .. nope. ... was I in pain .. with every single breathe. Did I take pain relievers .. I almost crunched myself through an entire bottle of tylenol for arthritis the past three months.
One would think that sleep would have been a welcome relief, or sitting with your foot up .. yes! for about 5 minutes ... and again, the pain would find me ... and then .. the last two months, I have been awoken from my very welcome slumber with a violent twitch that would lightening strike me awake ... and take 2 to 3 hours to begin to settle down.
In this past week .. my oomph for all things crazy has begun to set in .. I am clearly on the mend from this horrible walk NEXT to the gates of hell .. and interestingly enough .. I don't even know how I got here .. however; I certainly am on the path to my way out.
1 comment:
Hooray!! I am sooo happy to hear that! Long overdue for you!
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